Levi Has A Pet
Summary: Levi has a pet, an unusual one, but it's a pet and he likes it with all of his dark little heart. It's small, undemanding and, most of all, clean. But it's a blast from the past and when word gets out, everyone wants it. Levi has to make sure his unique pet remains his and free. Eren, already done with this BS 2000 years ago, gets dragged into it. He's not complaining, despite his complaining.
The Kirstein & Bott horse farm was bigger than Levi would have expected. It was far enough from the city to cover a good bit of land yet it was also close enough to have relatively frequent visitations, be it by school children or field trips or businessmen interested in the actual business. The horse farm seemed to be rather famous for its healthy and strong specimens: racing horses, jumping horses, show horses, even horses bought for the police cavaliers. Kirstein & Bott had it all. As Eren drove them through the open doors of the farm, Levi inspected each horse from head to toe with the practiced eye of someone who'd spent a good decade riding one into the heat of battle and jaws of hell on earth. He knew no horse will ever live up to the standards of the Survey Corps horses, bred and raised for the exact purpose of facing Titans with their Scout riders to the death, but he could tell these were some really good horses either way.
He wondered if he should be ashamed that the first thing on his mind was whether it would be easy or not to steal one if he had to run in the middle of the night, leave Eren and Armin to their peaceful life while he took off with the Hallucigenia and kept in running as he'd been doing the past two years. He couldn't help it, it is all he's known since he was seventeen this time around and even in his last life, he'd spent a lot of time running, one way or another. Though he knows it would be pointless to do so now, since he had help from two people who remembered and were perfectly capable of protecting themselves should it come down to that.
"Well, we're here," Eren commented unnecessarily as he turned off the car. "The moment of truth whether we're going to Japan or not."
Levi hummed as they all opened their doors and stepped outside. "I could always rob the bank," he commented idly as he reached back inside the car to take out the backpack Eren had lent him for the Hallucigenia's container. It had, thankfully, not thrown one of its new temper tantrums at being carried around in a bag again, as Eren and Levi had feared, and had appeared rather content to be in the back seat with the Ackerman. Eren was actually the only one of the three to have a driver's license. Armin usually took a bike to work unless it was raining, which is when he rode with Eren or took the subway. Levi could have gotten a license before his mother got sick and even without one, he learned to drive out of necessity, but he didn't. He didn't have a car and stealing one is messy, risky business he doesn't need to involve himself with. Illegal immigration is already enough of a crime he's committed and he's a repeated offender in that regard. Not to mention that he's a pickpocket and an outright thief.
"Please don't even joke about that, Levi-heichou," Armin begged and Levi almost snorted at that. Just because this was a whole new life doesn't mean anything Levi does now would be his first time committing a crime. Levi's rap sheet from just this life is as long as Eren's whole arm. His time before and even as Humanity's Strongest was a much more impressive list.
"You should probably stop calling me '-heichou'," Levi muses, not commenting on Armin's distress over Levi's joking suggestion. Not that he couldn't do it. But he does want to, eventually, maybe, some day, return to a normal life, so he'd rather not do any serious crimes as a fugitive. No one will ever be able to pinpoint him for the pickpocketing but grand theft audio or bank robberies, not so much. "It's not something people in this day and age are used to and it earns us a lot of attention. Also, stop acting like I'm your superior."
"That's going to be hard to get used to," Armin almost complained and Levi arched an eyebrow at the former Colossal Titan.
"You were my Commander. You stopped being my subordinate after the war; I wasn't even a soldier. You had literal years to get used to the idea. Don't go complaining now."
"You say that as if any of us ever stopped calling you Levi-heichou," huffed Armin and Levi had to chuckle at that, because it was true. Hell, they called him Heichou so much, even their children started doing it! "But I guess it would seem weird if we called you by a title that no longer exists in this world ... "
"Actually, acting like we're the military might make this whole thing easier," Eren suddenly said, earning two pairs of skeptical eyes. "Think about it: we're people who suddenly show up out of nowhere, never having been a part of Jean's life before, if it even really is Horseface. We're just three blokes who 'accidentally' went by this farm? Or what is our story supposed to be when we introduce ourselves and they ask? Especially if it's not Jean? Or if he doesn't remember? Saying we're army pals or something, we can say we saw a familiar name and thought it was someone else, that we just wanted to drop by and visit a friend. Instead of being creepers, you know?"
"That's a brilliant plan, Eren!" Exclaimed Armin. "We should totally go with that! We're soldiers on leave and we were in the, uh, neighborhood and we thought we could throw a surprise visit for a friend!"
"I guess it's a passable excuse," Levi mused, though there are a lot of loopholes in that sort of story. He figures it's nothing people like the three of them can't handle, so he agrees to the story. "Alright then, let's get to it." By habit, the two taller men fell slightly behind him and Levi sighed as he realized the picture they made if they went with their story. It was clear they'd dumped the 'superior officer' role onto him. Hopefully, they don't slip and call him 'Heichou' in front of whoever they run into first.
"Excuse me, can I help you gentlemen?" A woman called out in English and the three men looked to the side. A woman who had been checking the horses' water in one of the green fields had spotted them and was cautiously approaching the trio, clearly wary of people who had not announced a visit to the farm. As Levi studied her features, he realized the woman was vaguely familiar, someone he'd seen only a handful of times. Mrs Kirstein didn't seem to have recognized them, though.
"Good afternoon, ma'am. Please excuse our intrusion. Is there a Jean Kirstein on the premises, perhaps?" Levi asked formally, the way he would when he used to go to the homes of his soldiers when he needed to drag their lazy asses back to the HQ and barracks after their leave was over and yet they slept in or were too hungover to drag themselves back on their own.
"Who might be asking?" The mother countered skeptically. Levi glanced at his two companions and sighed when he noticed they'd fallen into parade rest as soon as Levi had started speaking like their Heichou again. Then he noticed he wasn't far from it, either, even if he'd only once or twice saluted in his life, let alone gone through all that formal training that was utterly impractical, useless and just for show.
"We're just some military friends. We were passing by. It's our leave so we decided to go on a road trip " Eren 'confessed' with a sheepish grin, turning up his charm to the max. Then again, if Levi remembered correctly, Eren had been Jean's mom's favorite of his friends. Which Levi found hilarious, since the woman seemed oblivious of the rivalry, arguments and tendency to outright brawl with each other, or the subtle or not so subtle bouts of jealousy Jean displayed when Mikasa was somehow involved. It seemed that Eren's boyish charms still worked on her like magic, even if Eren wasn't the same awkward teenager she'd known in their previous life, before the Rumbling, of course. "We saw the name on the farm and we thought this might be where he lives! We were kind of hoping to surprise him and have him tag along for a day."
But though Mrs Kirstein is clearly charmed, she also wasn't buying their story. "My son has never been to the army, so he can't have any military friends."
Shit.
"There must be some misunderstanding-" Armin started but just as Mrs Kirstein took out her phone to call the police - and for what? A misunderstanding? Were people really that paranoid these days? And no, Levi was not being a hypocrite, seeing as he had literally every reason to be paranoid as a person on the run who had several government agencies of different countries, mafia groups and private companies all hunting him for the past two years - a familiar voice called out from behind her.
"Hey, Ma! Have you checked the horses up front? What's the hold up? You know I have the plane waiting," none other than Jean Kirstein, their former comrade from the Survey Corps, said as he made his way towards the group. Then he stopped in his tracks and gawked. "L-Levi-heichou!?" He snapped into a salute faster than Sasha could wolf down a potato - which was impressive as fuck, though just as messy - and Levi felt immeasurable relief in that moment because of three very important reasons: one, Jean remembered; two, he had a plane! And three, which was actually the most important to Levi, personally, Mrs Kirstein no longer looked like she wanted to call the police.
"Jean, do you know these fine gentlemen?" She asked and Jean snapped his eyes towards Armin and Eren next.
"Even you're here, suicidal bastard-"
"Jean Gomez Kirstein!" Snapped his mother warningly.
Eren just flipped Jean off while her back was turned towards them so she wouldn't see him. "Not so nice to see you, too, Horseface."
That's all Jean needed to hear to understand that his old squad mates remembered, too. He turned to his mother and nodded. "Y-yeah, they're my friends-"
"But they said they're your military friends! And you've never served in the army," she said, clearly still suspicious.
Levi arched an eyebrow. "Ma'am, we're soldiers. We're in the military, not your son. We met the last time we were on leave and we thought he might have mentioned us as 'military friends' since he'd made it clear we were the first actual soldiers he's ever met personally as he had some military prejudices the first time we talked."
"Clearly we've mistaken how much he considers us as his friends," Eren said with a hurt look on his face, making the mother scold her son for being a bad friend. Jean was glaring silent death threats at a snickering Eren while Levi and Armin just rolled their eyes and shook their heads at their childishness. "But that aside, you got a minute to talk, Jean-boy?"
"I told you not to call me that!" Jean snapped but his mother now looked convinced of their story. "And yeah, sure, I guess I can spare a minute, but my plane's waiting for me already so I'm afraid we'll have to make it quick."
"I guess I'll leave you boys to it. Lovely meeting you all!" Mrs Kirstein called before she hurried off to give them some privacy.
"So, Jean Gomez Kirstein, eh?" Teased Eren and Jean snorted, punching him on the shoulder when they all moved to stand closer.
"It's a popular name in Spain and it was my father's this time around. We took mom's surname, though. Dad thought it sounded classy," he said with a familiar grin. Jean actually looked like he was a couple of years older than Eren and Armin, like he was in his late twenties, but his appearance hadn't changed much compared to the Jean Kirstein of Paradis after the Rumbling. Tall, lean, muscular with a style that had often reminded Levi a bit too much of Kenny, especially when Jean wore those stupid hats. The only change now was the sun kissed tone to his skin. "So, why are you guys here? How did you find me? And why does Levi-heichou look like a kid?" Levi kicked him in the shin for that one, hard enough that he almost fell over. "Ow!"
"You deserved it," Armin pointed out.
"I may be nineteen in appearance, you little shit, but I'm still more than capable of taking you down," Levi growled and Jean was quick to apologize. "That aside, to answer your questions."
"Armin found you," Eren said, cutting in before any actual explaining could be done. Levi glared at him. "Good job being so rich, Horseface. That's actually why we're here."
"Oh?" Jean arched an eyebrow, intrigued.
"We need a ride to Tokyo, Japan," Armin said and then explained the situation with Hange's invitation. "And it's really crucial that we can get on a plane that doesn't have such tight security as normal flights usually do."
"And why is that, if I may ask?" Jean asked with an arched eyebrow. "I mean, it's just a trip to Japan, nothing big, right?"
"Well-" Armin started but Eren interrupted.
"Levi has a pet."
The tallest of their group gave Eren a dubious stare. "A pet?" He turned a skeptical glance at Levi. "What kind of pet? And why does that require a private jet? Airports and planes allow pets, with the proper containment, of course. You don't need a private jet for a pet? Unless it's something illegal ... " He looked even more suspicious now and Levi rolled his eyes.
"Thank you, Eren, for so eloquently explaining the complexity of my situation," he said sarcastically before focusing on Jean. "It's not just the 'pet thing'," he said with appropriate air quotes. "Though, it is caused by the so-called 'pet thing'. It would be best if I showed you." And so Levi took off Eren's borrowed backpack, opened it and sowed the Hallucigenia's container inside. The glowing creature let out one of its horrifying hisses at Jean, causing Armin and Jean to cover their ears while Levi and Eren were honestly used to it by now so they could partially ignore it. "As you can see-"
"¡Ay Dios mio!" Jean all but screamed, pointing a finger at the Hallucigenia, which was, once again, making what Levi was now downright sure were rude gestures with its forefront tentacles at the non-Titan-Shifter-or-Ackerman-reincarnated-Eldian while he freaked out. "That's the thing that tried to kill me! The thing that grew to the size of a house and fought Reiner!"
"Yes, we know-"
"The shining centipede!"
"Actually, it's a Hallucigenia," Armin interjected, either ignoring or oblivious to the incredulous look Jean was giving him as he started talking about the Hallucigenia's Cambrian origins, the history of research done on it and the things Armin had found out in less than a month of it being one of his new roommates. Levi rolled his eyes at the blond's continued ocean obsession and instead started actually explaining to Jean how he'd ended up with Armin and Eren in the first place.
"So, let me get this straight," Jean said when Levi finished his story. "You found that thing," he said with a jerk of one of his hands at the Hallucigenia, which hissed at him and he actually squealed, making Eren cackle at his skittish reaction. Jean glared at him before going back to his resume of all that he'd just learned. "On a random beach twelve years ago, decided to keep it as a fucking pet despite it being the thing that gave Eldians Titan powers, then had to become an international fugitive when someone finally realized you had a super old worm-centipede-thingy that is the last living specimen of its species-"
"That we know of!" Chirped in Armin oh so helpfully.
"-and people started hunting you for it. You kept running because you knew it can give Titan powers again because it gave you back your Ackerman abilities. And while being on the run, you've managed to stumble upon Eren, who reintroduced you to Armin, so you guys live together with Levi-heichou basically acting as a housekeeper-" At least he was smart enough not to call him a maid. "-but then Hange suddenly got in contact with you over an email and you all decided you want to meet her in Japan at that science convention or whatever held in Tokyo? And that's why you need a private plane, because you can't take the Hallucigenia on a communal flight, not to mention that Levi-heichou doesn't have any documentation or anything to even buy a ticket. And so you guys came running here to, what? See if I remembered?"
"Actually, we didn't even know if it was you," Eren said with a shrug. "We were guessing, based on the name," he said as he pointed at the sign declaring the property to belong to Kirstein & Bott. "So, is it really Marco? Does he remember?"
"Yeah, it's him," Jean replied but also shook his head. "But he doesn't remember shit. I would know, we grew up together and never once has he even mentioned Titans or Walls or anything even remotely associated with our past life. I'm kinda glad, if I'm being honest. Our past life was shit and Marco's death was traumatic enough for Annie. I can't imagine what a memory of something like that would do to Marco himself."
"Wait, you found Annie?" Asked Armin, suddenly no longer interested in Hallucigenia related discussions. "Did you find anyone else? Eren only found his parents and Zeke, but none of them remember, and Levi found his family, too, as well as Historia and her family and none of them remember, either. He also found Erwin-danchou and Nile-danchou, but they don't remember, either, or else they wouldn't be chasing him."
"Uh, yeah. I actually found quite a few of our old friends, Annie among them," Jean said with a smirk, obviously hiding something. Levi narrowed his eyes as he zipped the Hallucigenia back up into the backpack. "I guess if you guys are flying with me to Japan, you'll see them all real soon."
"So you'll take us?" Armin asked, excited and relieved that they had found transportation so easily.
Eren and Levi, though, narrowed their eyes. "You've already been heading to Japan, haven't you, Horseface?" Eren half-asked, half-accused and Jean just shrugged. "What's the occasion?"
"I'm a successful business man, Eren. What's to say I wasn't meeting a business partner?" Levi joined Eren in on the skeptical-eyebrow-raise. Jean rolled his eyes at them. "Fine, it's personal and joyous, if you must know. In fact, I'm heading to Japan for my wedding."
"Your what?" Armin and Eren asked incredulously while Levi just congratulated him.
"Though why isn't your mother going with you?" He asked disapprovingly and Jean waved him off.
"She and my dad are going to join us in two days, the day before the actual wedding. I'm just heading out now to make sure everything is prepared for the reception and the ceremony. Also, I hope you guys don't mind a companion on our flight today. Marco's my best man, of course, so he's waiting for us at the airport already. If you guys want to go with us, we need to get a move on. Not even private jets can take off whenever the hell they want, you know."
"Well, it's a good thing I always take our passports with us wherever we go, right Eren?" Armin asks jokingly and Levi can't believe their luck. This way, they'll have plenty of time to settle in somewhere and find a way to reach Hange before the actual science fair-convention-whatever, which will allow Levi to avoid crowds and scientists, which will, ultimately, keep the Hallucigenia out of anyone's grubby hands. "This was quite the stroke of luck, wasn't it?" Armin commented as they all filed back into Eren's car, following Jean off of the property as they drove off towards the airport.
"It would have been better if we'd had the chance to pack a change of clothes, at least," Eren complained and Levi wanted to agree with him, if only he wasn't already set for taking off at any moment as a runaway. Underneath the Hallucigenia's container, he had two sets of clothes and enough undergarments to last him a week. Armin and Eren, though, only had the clothes on their back. "Can't believe Horseface is getting married."
"Actually, he got married last time, too," Levi commented. He'd gotten the invitation to the wedding, but it was held on Paradis and Levi hadn't been sure if it was courtesy or an actual desire to see him, considering he and the bride had had a falling out only a few months before when some journalist had had the gall to question them about Eren and Levi hadn't contradicted them about Eren being a monster. Levi could understand why Mikasa was so pissed; the journalist meant 'monster' as an insult, but it was also the truth, a truth Levi had been aware of for as long as he'd known the youngest Jaeger. Mikasa, even after everything that he'd done, no matter the reason, still couldn't see that side of him without getting offended and defensive. Her loyalty was admirable, but it's a sad fact that loyalty alone isn't enough to change the reality of their world.
"Yeah, I'm aware, but still," the former Attack and Founding Titan said with a glance in the rear-view mirror at Levi. Levi wondered if he knew it was his adopted sister that Jean had married, if Armin had told him about it. He wondered how Eren had - or would have - reacted, considering the two really had a very complex relationship, Eren and Mikasa. Levi had at one point been sure they had romantic feelings for each other; Mikasa had been more obvious about it, especially right after the Female Titan incident and right after they got him back from Marley until Eren's last breath. Eren had had his moments, too, like right after they had found out about Reiner and Bertolt, but he'd never been as obvious as Mikasa. Still, there had been tender feelings there, between those two, even if said tender feelings had never been defined. But was Eren okay with Jean having married Mikasa when Eren couldn't even kiss her while he was still alive? And what if Jean was marrying Mikasa this time, too? "Can't believe Mikasa actually said yes."
"You give Jean too little credit," Armin chided, the blond completely oblivious to Levi's surprised expression in the back. Eren wasn't, though. It was a good thing they were on an empty, straight road and driving at a steady speed, otherwise Eren would have gotten them into an accident by now, since he was so busy staring at Levi through the mirror. "He really treated her right. He waited for years until they were both sure Mikasa would be comfortable to be with anyone after everything that happened and her confusing feelings for you. They had a long and happy marriage. Jean worshiped the ground she walked on, made sure she had everything she wanted ... Mikasa was really happy," Armin said with a bittersweet smile. "She finally had the big family she wanted ... Except for you ... "
"... " Eren said nothing and Levi suddenly felt really uncomfortable in the silence that filled the car. He's never had a problem with silence before, but this was weird and unpleasant.
"Can you turn the radio on?" He decided to ask. "I haven't listened to music in two years. I'm kind of out of the loop."
"Yeah, sure," Eren said, quick to comply. He started fiddling with the radio until he got to the first good station and suddenly Despacito started blaring through the speakers. Levi groaned. Armin sighed in resignation. Eren was grinning like a loon as he started singing. The fucker even had a really good voice, which was both a curse and a blessing. Levi would have felt like melting as he listened to the former Attack Titan sing, if not for the song. Don't get him wrong, Despacito was a very good, very catchy song, but that was also the problem: Levi often couldn't get the damn melody out of his head and his brain insisted on replaying words in his mind that his mouth will never be able to actually say because Levi hadn't paid enough attention in Spanish classes before he'd gone on the run.
"Please, anything but that," he finally said when the chorus came around, the most catchy part of the song.
Armin took pity on him and changed the stations, this time stopping at a French song, Ego. This time, Levi grinned and started singing, making Eren nearly swerve the car off the road in surprise while Armin wiped his head around to gawk at their former Captain. Levi surprised them further by laughing, which had Eren staring at him for a moment too long before Armin made him - like, he physically grabbed his head and made him move his head - look back towards the road before they actually have an accident. For the sake of their combined safety, Armin changed the stations again, landing on some station that was doing a Top 20 list in Europe. They were all a little freaked out when Du Hast came on and The Bag started hissing along, though thankfully not the annoying, scary way the Hallucigenia usually did when it was pissed off at someone or throwing a tantrum.
If just this car ride to the airport was anything to go by, then this journey was going to be crazier than anything Levi has done in the past two years to stay out of everyone's grubby hands and to protect the Hallucigenia.
This promised to be interesting.
