Childhood Arc III: Lullaby of Woe

"A bitter reality of truth can be wisely told in a sweet tale of a lullaby."

Toba Beta


She woke up, stabbed to a laboratory table— wrists contained at her hips and feet spread apart. If she was in a horror movie, then she would believe it at this point. All she could move was her face. Her eyes darted to the viles of potions and whatever the fuck else is. What looked to be I.V. bags were strung up on hooks above the metal table. The hit she suffered from the back of her head throbbed as her eyes blinked the blurriness away. A hand grabbed the sides of her jaw, pouring a green liquid down her throat as she refused to swallow it. Though, the mage forced it down her throat by keeping her mouth clamped shut with his slender fingers.

Then she felt it. Her stomach began to flip in different directions as if she had been forced to sit on a rollercoaster for hours without rest. The beating of her heart thumped inside her head followed by a string of ringing passing through her ears. Everything around her blurred as she began to shift into a drugged daze. Her eyelids felt heavy but refused to shut themselves. Certain objects shifted to different colors— blue, red, and green. As if they were a part of some glitch art photo effect.

Her brown eyes looked at her nearly naked body. They only left her in boxer-like underwear and a shirt to cover her top half. At least, they had the modesty to put her in something. The other boys in the room only wore skin-tight boxers. Their underwear reminded her of a speedo. She let out a stifled laugh followed by a choking sound as she felt invisible bile rise into her throat. The acid into her stomach was coming out of her or wanted to but her mind was playing tricks on her; replicating the feeling of throwing up. She let out a pained moan, her throat becoming oddly sore. The mage who had her the liquid to drink had his servants unlatch her from the cold metallic table and throw her into a solitary room with nothing but stone surrounding it. Her only window would be the small barred one on the door.

She wasn't sure how long she would be locked in here with others, but she dully took note of who was in here with her before the effects got worse. Aiden, Jad, Idalia, a few other boys— Reva must have died in the last test. They were looking like hell took a shit on them. Though, she could probably say the same for herself.

For hours she sat against the stone wall, laughing at herself like she was high on cannabis. She remembered her party days in college and she knew the feeling of being high. This was exactly how she was feeling now. The littlest things made her laugh, everything around her was fuzzy, and she felt nulled. Towards the end of the day, she saw one of the boys being dragged out like a sake of rice. No doubt, his body was thrown into a pile of bodies considering how the mages and other scholars here treated them. The mage that dragged out the boy gave her the oddest look as she laughed at his blonde hair, mumbling incoherent words.

Her reaction was odd compared to the other girl. He had been one of the mages to come up with a chemical formula in the tea they were fed hours ago, specifically for females. It took them over fifty females to perfect it. After directing their bodies and forcing other experiments on them, he hopes that at least one of them survives the first stage of the trial of grasses. The other female was humming something to herself as she pointed to the ceiling with a drugged gaze. After finishing up his speculating, he proceeded to drag the dead boy out and slammed the thick, wooden door behind him, locking it.

1... 2... 3... Nolani counted in her head to provide herself some entertainment as a nauseating feeling struck her stomach again. 33... 34... 35...

Her control over her cognitive brain activity was searing away from her. Losing her mentality and watching more bodies being dragged out scared her. 145... 146.. 147.. 148...

She saw, through a lot of focus on her part, Jad on all fours throwing up pure stomach acid. Idalia was turning pale with a dry throw-up on her chin and dress. Her eyes rolled to one side as her humming ceased. She stay like that for a couple more hours and Nolani just stared like a creep that whole time. Jad collapsed in his bile, finding himself drifting asleep as night crept into the sky. She couldn't see the sky, but the sudden drift of cold air said otherwise. Typically, it was cold at night because the sun was gone, anyone would know that.

1,456... 1,457... 1458...

Earlier she had lost track of counting but started up again. She had thrown up an hour after Jad but kept herself awake by counting. Her body wanted to sleep, but she knew better than to sleep in a place like this. All her mind could think about was staying alert in case one of those mages came for her. After losing count again, she lurched forward on her hands to throw up some more. Cold sweat seeped through her skin after the burning sensation ceased. She felt this repeat every hour as the only thing they had to warm themselves up was other people. Aiden had somehow got himself towards Idalia to keep himself warm, but the way her body was looking, his heat source wasn't going to last much longer.

Nolani was weak, could barely move a muscle. The person nearest to her was Jad, but he was sleeping in his pile of stomach acid. So, she settled for the boy a few feet away from Jad. He was worse looking, but it was a source of heat. She felt sick thinking that about someone. Though, she had to remind herself that this was a nasty game of survival. It took her thirty minutes to reach his body. As exhaustion took over her, she used his foot as a pillow to drift off to sleep. The idea of sleeping wasn't nice, but she couldn't fight it anymore—

Not this Nolani, but the person who was before, sat at the edge of her mother's bed balling her eyes out. The bed's frame was rustic and just enough for one person to sleep on. Occasionally, she would have taken the floor of their tiny apartment because her father pass out on the couch after drinking. Her mother should have been in a hospital, but they couldn't afford it nor did her father care to work; he lived off the system. Most of the money was for his drinking and smoking habits. Before consulting her father, she called the funeral company her mother told her to call if she died.

Her mother died on that bed, she witnessed her having her last breath. When she tried to wake up her father, he struck her for disturbing him so she cried out louder in his childish voice that her mother had died from her lung cancer. His words were: "Thank fuck, that bitch did nothing to this house anyways."

At that moment, she could feel the anger rising. Her fists balled at the sides of herself, more tears crashing down on her as her teeth seething out a thin breath. For the longest time, she remained to be a passive person to make her mother proud. She forged her true aggressive personality down the drain in order to make her mother happy because she loved spending time with her. Whenever her father would hit her mother as a kid, she would feel the urge to strike back. She wanted to tear out his skin.

Maybe she had that inner side to her all along and it followed her into this life.

But her mother was no longer here, she didn't have to bottle up all that stupid anger. "Fuck you for not working. Fuck you for everything! Fuck you—"

He had hit her hard enough to knock her out. When she woke up again, it was in the hospital. The person who came to retrieve her mother's body had walked in on the scene and called child services. The custody her father had over her had been ripped from him. It was that person who retrieved her mother's body that sent her into the foster system. The anger over everything that happened motivated her to fend for herself and become someone her mother would be proud of— a doctor. It was her mother's dream to become a doctor, but then she got pregnant with her at fifteen.

Nolani's eyes opened up, she could see the bulging veins through her vision. The boy who she had been sleeping on had been removed. Idalia was still fighting for her life. The second and the third day passed with the feeling of choking on her own vomit, spit, and blood. Most coughed up blood once or twice, some coughed up all the blood in their system, then died. Some of the children clawed their hands away at the stone because they wanted out of this treachery. Nolani couldn't blame them for their futile attempts. She screamed once or twice for them to let her go, but as soon as the third day passed, they were shoved back onto those lab tables.

She was strapped down, arms, legs, and her waist and neck. Still, in a daze, she dully looked to the side as they put an I.V. into her arms. Green liquid glowed horrors into her mind.

The blonde mage from earlier was about to start the process until one of the other mages stopped him. "Have you forgotten that she needs the swallow potion first? She's a different case in this matter."

"Apologies."

He had given her the potion by a cup. Liquid fell down the sides of her mouth as she gulped the substance that tasted like hog shit.

"Are you sure? This potion only works for the mutated," the blonde questioned.

"Trust me. Once you are done with the first dose, administer the mutagens and give her another swallow as the substance goes into her system."

"I shall."

The other mage put a hand on the blonde's shoulder before leaving them.

Nolani coughed as the mage started the mutagens. Her veins began to turn purple as they bulged through her skin. The pain began to wreck through her like lightning. It felt like they were taking a hammer and breaking her bones one by one. She let out a cry for help only to be muffled with another dose of the healing potion. The pain began to ease only for a second and then start up again more violently. Throughout the course of a couple of hours, more and more was given to her. She noticed that she had been hooked onto the I.V. bag longer than the boys. It was like this swallow potion was healing the damage done to her body by the mutagens and then being broken again. Slowly, it turned the damage into something tougher almost as if her body was rebuilding itself very slowly. The process was slow and painful. Never again will she complain about pain.

Maybe this is what they meant by not knowing again. Girls probably didn't make it through this process which is why her's is slower with healing, unlike the boys. Their bodies took in the full thing while she takes it little by little followed by an overdose of healing potions. She badly wanted to break her way out of these restraints, shove the potions in the mage's pretty blonde hair, and rip the I.V. out of herself. Her hands balled into fists as she attempted to get free but it was no use. She wasn't strong enough. These restraints were enforced by something.

When they did free her, she was weakened to the point of being unable to walk. They simply threw her into the same jail cell she was in earlier. Idalia was in the back of the room with a foaming mouth, pale face, and blood seeping from her eye sockets. She was dying and it was these mages' fault.

She laid on the ground, chin looking up and hands by her sides. Her shirt was filled with her own bodily fluids at this point. Each time they were taken out of this cell, their bodies were clean of year. But now, she was full of that and other fluids.

Where are the boys? Jad? Aiden? Frantically, with little strength, she looked around until she spotted them on the ground sleeping with painful moans. Jad's head was facing the ceiling but he was breathing. Aiden was facing her and she saw his chest rise and fall through the movement of his back going up and down. Relief washed over her before she passed out dreaming of the past. This time she saw this life's mother.

Moaning and banging sounds were heard as she tried to sleep on the couch. She could still hear them even when she tried to cover her ears with the raggy pillow. Hours later, the man came out with a malicious smirk on his face as he proper coins on the kitchen table. He glanced at her with a sympathetic look. "I feel bad for ya kiddo, but I guess that life's for ya."

Then he left.

Over time, she got used to it and found a way to sleep.

During the first few years of her life, she had been plagued by nightmares of her own death and how lonely the void her soul rested in felt. She mentally wrapped her arms around herself and shook. Her tough exterior felt melted at this point and anything she feared was sunken into the front of her mind. She used to be afraid of spiders but got over that fear by squishing one. Then she was afraid of dying, then conquered that by killing. She used to be plagued by the fear of her first life's mother's death. She dreaded the day she would have to be left alone with her father.

Though, that kind of pain was no longer there. Now it was surviving through these trials. Nolani just wanted to stuff herself in a nice warm bed, but life's a bitch.

There was a point where her body began to go into a seizure-like state and convulse. Her thoughts of wanting to live purged through her like a snowplow and then she woke up. It didn't seem right for her to still be alive after everything. Somehow she was sat up against the wall as she recalled waking up before this to a random mage's face lined out by his candle-lit lamp. She let out a cold breath. Days passed by her quickly, but she struggled to keep track.

At some point, some mage came in here to rehearse incantations and released a weird-smelling incense. In a way, she felt schizophrenic. Sometimes her mind would imagine things that weren't there, her emotions would mix, and nothing felt real anymore.

Right now she was seeing her true mother's ghost. Her features were lined out like she was a drawing of black and white. Those cancerous hands reached out to touch her cheeks. Her gentle eyes smiled at her along with her thin lips. If she truly was going crazy, she heard her voice too. It said: "Wake up, sweetheart."

Through the red veins of her paled brown eyes, they cracked wide open as yellow seeped through the brown coloring.

Then every pain in her body ceased. Her strength returned slowly. Another hour passed before she recovered some strength to walk over to the door. First, she looked around and saw that her boys were gone. Panic surged through her system as she ran to the door, knocking on it frantically. "Where are they?!" She bellowed out, loudly.

The door swung open, knocking her to the ground. That stupid blonde mage stood above her gazing at her with studying blue eyes. When he found the glow of yellow through her eyes, his eyes widened. "Come, child."

"Where are they?!" Nolani said, standing up, but the mage ignored her as he walked away.

She followed him out of the laboratory and into a bathroom with a wooden bath barrel. He pointed to the towels already set out for her. "Wash up and I'll have someone bring some clothing for you."

Nolani blinked as the door shut. She undressed and didn't think twice about going into the tub. There was already hot water drawn for her. It coated her skin comfortably, but she really wished that there was running water available. This new world was too old-fashioned for her. The door opened to reveal a female mage entering with clothing her size. Laying on the ground was a white shirt that she put on after getting out and drying off. Then there were black trousers with a belt that she tucked the white long sleeve into. The black combat boots her size fit her feet quite well as she tucked her pants into them for extra warmth. She was sure the only heat source they had in this building was fireplaces.

The female mage waited outside the door and led her out of the underground building, she saw the caravans parked in a long line. The night air hit her but didn't seem to bother her as much as it used to. Weird. Nolani searched around the caravans to find her boys, she was hoping they were alive. After five minutes, they saw them eating with three familiar witchers who looked at her as if she was a ghost.

"Well, I'll be damned," Brehan said in disbelief.

"Agreed," the elf joined eyebrows raised. "I guess I'll stay true to my word."

"Aha! I fucking knew I picked the right gal!" Treyse laughed.

Aiden and Jad who were dressed in similar outfits starred with wide eyes. A breadstick fell from Aiden's mouth as Jad walked over to her and glomped her into a bear hug. "I'm happy your alive."

"Me too," Nolani wrapped her arms around his neck as he swung her around.

"I saved you a stick," Aiden drawled out with a full mouth as he walked to the two.

He held out a breadstick. Nolani laughed, a few stray tears coming from her eyes knowing that she survived and so did her brothers.

Nolani saw a bottle of beer in Brehan's hand so she walked to him who was sitting on the edge of the caravan. "Can I have some?"

"What the fuck? Ain't you a bit young to be drinkin' beer?"

"Aren't you a bit old to be drinking? You might get liver disease."

"The fuck is that?"

"Nevermind, can I have some?"

He laughed, handing her the mug. She downed it almost too easily bringing a shocked glance to his face. Treyse laughed and the elf snorted silently to himself.

"Congratulations, child. I shall stay true to my word and take you under my wing."

"Eh?"

"You heard me," the elf noted. "I will not repeat myself."

"What about my man-bitches?"

Another spew of laughter from the other two witchers. Aiden choked on his food and Jad cocked an eyebrow.

"They will train with the other boys. You and I will set off at dawn tomorrow."

"Ahh, okay. Is there any more beer?"

Jad ran a palm down his face. "Please, do not become an addict."

"No promises."

Yeah, she is eight, but she just went through hell so she deserves something to ease her tattered mind.