Fucking Gravity

Chapter 6

"Why are we here?" I sigh, looking around the laughing teenagers. The party seems so much louder than usual- immediate- distracting. It's part of why I'd come on days Kim isn't there to squirl me away from the outside world.

"Girl, I have heard that you've been to these things many times, but you never want to come with me," Kim moans slumping over my shoulders.

"I only come to these things because I have nowhere better to go," I shrug her off.

"My poor, antisocial, Bright-eyes," she laments, glomping onto me again as soon as I've removed her.

"You were just as antisocial as I was until you got a boyfriend," I roll my eyes at her dramatics. She ignores me, of course.

"Come on, I didn't get to experience a drunk Fay for very long last time." She drags me over to the keg. After hesitating, I accept the offered beer. I won't be going home tonight anyway. He'll never know.

"So, you have spies now?" I venture as we wander away from the table and closer to the dark surf. Kim raises a confused eyebrow. "You heard I've been coming to these? Who's mentioned seeing me to you?"

Kim drops her gaze to her cup. "They know that you're my friend. They notice you." The 'they' is obvious, and she's avoiding my eyes like she does when she's either lying or dancing around the truth.

"You mean Leah," I say.

"No, all of them actually."

"Because of Leah," I amend. That's when they started staring- when I caught Leah's notice.

"Mostly," Kim reluctantly agrees. She plucks the empty cup I've drained from my hands and starts back toward the bonfire. I wait there, standing in the damp sand, and stare out over the water. After partnering for chemistry and having dinner at her house, it was back to usual at school. She's still keeping her distance like I asked, even if I do still catch her frequently casting soulful glances my way.

Kim returns, and I actually startle as she presses a new cup against my arm. I pause as I catch a whiff of the much stronger smelling drink.

"Someone brought the good stuff," she smirks, raising her own cup to her mouth. "This should get the job done quicker." I stare. I've never seen Kim drink alcohol before. Maybe this isn't such a good idea, being here, drinking around her, being around her drinking around me. I like who we are around each other without our minds being inebriated and inhibited.

"I don't think I want to drink," I admit, trying to pass my cup back over to her.

"So, you'll drink alone, but you won't drink with me? That's really fucking sad, Bright-eyes," Kim shakes her head slowly.

"I'm not- I don't…" I sigh, raising the cup to my lips to just chug the thing, but Kim's hand snaps out to snag my wrist.

"Fuck, Fay, don't do that," she curses, prying the drink from my hand. "Don't drink if you don't want to."

"I just…" I wring my now empty hands, staring at the two (almost full) cups in my best friend's grip. "I like who I am with you, already."

"As opposed to you not liking who you are when you're alone?" she asks, and I blink. Then I cringing.

Kim catches sight of my expression and swears again. "Fuck." She dumps both cups into the ocean and stacks them one inside the other before snagging my wrist and dragging me out of the beach. She drops them in the giant trash bag hanging from the alcohol table.

It's a fast pace she sets, tugging me insistently onward, and the pace doesn't slow until the sand disappears and dark homes crop up on either side of the street.

"What's going on, Fay?" she asks when the noise on the beach fades out to an eerie ringing silence except for the scraping tread of shoes over concrete.

"Nothing," I tug my jacket closer to my body, effectively slipping from her grip. "It's not like I hate myself or anything." I don't think I do, at least. I just hate my situation.

"No, seriously," she snags my arm, putting pressure on a fresh bruise from where my father gripped too tight last night as he shook me. The hold successfully draws me around to face her and finally to a stop. Her brow is pinched and her lips drawn into the thinnest of lines. "You've been… I don't know. Something's not right."

It never has been. I've been entirely dependent on her, and now that she's not there every single day, I don't know what to do with myself. It's not fair to Kim that I need her so damn much, but I do. I feel like I'm being chiseled away faster than I can slap some new clay on top and attempt putting myself back together again.

"I guess I'm used to having you all to myself. I don't know how to share," I finally say.

She lets go of my bruise and loops her arm through mine. "You can always make other friends, too?" She suggests. "Or maybe make friends with mine?"

It's not the first time she's offered it, but it's the first time that I consider it. I could stay out of the house longer- have more alibis. At some point, he'll get tired of checking every person I want to spend time with, though that occurrence will no doubt be paired with exasperated yelling and his fists.

It would be worth it. Maybe. If it doesn't completely backfire. He might just decide that I'm better off isolated at home (even if he has complained, once, that I'm an unfriendly, unpopular, unsocialized shit).

Kim sees my uncertainty and latches on with both hands. "Next week, there is a bonfire up on the cliffs. It's not really like the ones on the beach- it's more secluded. Anyway, there will be a ton of food and some of the elders will be there to retell the old legends. You can actually get to know Jared and some of the others. We'd be out really late, though, so you'll have to spend the night."

"Okay," I agree quickly. Maybe I can wrangle the entire weekend into another sleepover, even if I have to be an awkward third wheel during the day.

Kim grins widely in victory and squeezes my arm.

….

It's well after dark when we set off up the path to the cliffs. I've never been to this part of the res at this time of night, and it's almost unrecognizable. Jared leads the way just ahead of me, guiding the way without even a flashlight and gripping Kim's hand in a supportive hold.

Kim glances back as I trip over another rock, and Jared's hand shoots out to catch me before I can faceplant. Once I'm steady, he quickly retreats his hand with a nervous expression. His skin is concerningly warm. No wonder he hardly wears clothes outside of school.

"Please don't fall off this cliff while when I'm supposed to be the one getting you to the spot."

"I'll be sure to fall off the cliff only once we get there, so you'll be let off the hook," I grumble.

"Much appreciated," he says, and I dejectedly have to smear my hand across my face to literally wipe off the smile that starts to form on it.

"So did you guys make this the most difficult place to get to on purpose?" I ask casually, staring over the ledge of the cliff. The rock drops off into a sudden void of darkness, and it's absolutely terrifying. I can hear the ocean crashing against the rocks below, but I can't see it.

"It discourages party crashers," Jared informs, reaching out to automatically steady me as I once again tilt unsteadily to one side.

"And invited guests," I point out. I think I see a flash of teeth in the dark.

Eventually, the path flattens out and expands into a wide-open space. A strong, crackling fire, lights up a stony expanse of cliff-top sheltered by trees on one side and open air dropping off on the other.

The wind is much stronger up here, carrying with it the strong smell of sea salt and nearly pushing the flames of the fire horizontal to the earth. It's much brighter up here, and several people are already milling about. There are three foldout tables that I haven't the slightest idea how they made it up here, loaded down with more food than any one person could possibly cook in a day.

Along with the Specials, there are a few council members here along with Rachel Black and Sam's fiancé Emily. My eyes linger on the gruesome scars lining her face before I drag them away.

I start to feel awkward, because it's beginning to look like a 'girlfriend' thing (and I can't imagine in who's made up world in which I'm in attendance as the girlfriend as), but then I catch sight of the child.

She can't be older than three and it's likely past her bedtime, but she's giggling and making efforts to dodge past one of the large boys. Quil Ataera Jr. grabs at her with the biggest and most affectionate smile I've ever seen, strategically keeping her well away from the cliff edge. He interacts with her like there is nothing else he'd rather be doing than babysitting the child.

I didn't know that Quil had a sister. So, maybe this is more of something that anyone close to the Specials can come to (and there just aren't very many people who are). Which just introduces the question of why they'd allow me to come. Is it really just because I'm friends with Kim?

Seth spots me across the fire and raises his hand in greeting. It catches the attention of several others, including Leah, and they glance over. Leah stands suddenly from her log, wavers, and then slowly sinks back down. She decides to wave, and I slowly return it, unsettled.

"Oh, good," Kim says, "they haven't started eating yet. We might actually get some food."

"You better go get your plate before they open it up for everyone, babe," Jared says, reluctantly letting go of her hand. A soft smile lingers on his lips, and it looks real.

"Come on, Fay," she drags me over to the table where Emily hovers.

"You're just in time," the older woman smiles brightly, and it's weird because only one side of her face lifts. "I don't know how much longer I can hold the boys off."

"You're a goddess, Emily," Kim sighs, pulling various things onto her plate. "If you're going to want anything later, grab it now. Once the others get a chance at it, there'll be nothing left," she informs me, pushing a plate into my hands.

"Really?" I say doubtfully. This setup should be enough for triple the number in attendance.

"You'll see," she smirks.

After we have our plates, I follow Kim over to the fire where the majority of people linger.

"What's up, Fay?" Embry asks, nodding to me in a friendly way. He also used to come to my father's shop- usually with Jacob.

"Hi," I say uncomfortably. This is the group of people I've been avoiding for nearly two years. How does Kim expect me to get to know these people?

"All right, come and get it!" a call comes from the food table, and a loud whoop goes out. The group we're standing near suddenly surges forward, and I flinch out of the way of the almost frantic scramble.

"Oh! Wait!" Quil gasps, the picture of despair. "Here, hold this for me!" He dumps the toddler into Kim's arms, and she just laughs as she has to juggle her plate around enough to get a grasp of the child. Even with her passed off, Quil still seems reluctant to leave until he contents himself with a kiss to her head and darts toward the swarm around the food. "Guys, wait, no fair!"

The little girl laughs as Kim bounces her on her hip, and I take her plate to make it easier for her and balance them on my lap as we sit down on one of the logs.

"Fay, this is little Claire," Kim tells me in a light baby-tone, as if talking to the child herself. "Emily's niece."

"Emily?" I say surprised.

My friend catches my unasked question easily. "Quil babysits her a lot. He's more doting than a big brother."

"I can see that," I can't help smiling slightly. It's sweet. I didn't expect that from anyone in this group.

The Specials come back to the fire slowly, each carrying at least two overflowing plates. The logs fill up as they each claim a portion- Jared takes one side of Kim, and then Quil wiggles in between me and my friend to steal my placement. He doesn't seem to notice me anymore, though, because all of his attention is split between his food and the toddler cradled in Kim's arms.

Soon, the only spot left is directly next to me.

I'm not entirely surprised when I glance up and find Leah loitering a few feet away, eyes sweeping over the taken benches. Her eyes linger longingly on the very obvious space beside me, and she turns apologetic eyes to me.

I tilt my head invitingly, trying to get across that it's okay. She fills the space sheepishly.

"Hi," she mumbles, setting all her plates down at her feet except for one, which she cradles nervously.

"Hey," I say, biting my lip.


A/N: Please review!

~Silver~