When the Stars Fall
Level Up the Akward
He felt numb.
In the numbness he scrubbed at the back of his neck and hands a bit more, attempting to clean under his nails. He heard Demetrius and his mother leave, but then Sam's voice. "Are you okay?"
Sebastian at first didn't answer, then said, "Yes."
Saying yes was a lie of course because he most certainly not fine. "What do you do in a situation when you've overstepped the social boundaries.
The answer of course didn't come right away. Instead, he heard Sam continue to speak, "So?"
"Demetrius said something about making sure you eat something," Sebastian muttered.
"Oh. I think he's trying to say we should have lunch."
"I see." Sebastian swallowed, still trying to figure out what he should say in response to overstepping social boundaries.
"Alright. Ardyce and I will meet you in the kitchen."
"Don't run," was the first thought in his head. Going back and hiding in his room rather than going into the kitchen to have lunch after Demetrius most certainly manipulate things so Sebastian would find himself forced to socialize with others. Eventually, he turned off the faucet and dried his face, sucking in his breath to keep himself calm. Not having the medication which controlled the anxiety attacks sat at the back of his mind, yet he already decided not running was an option.
Sebastian opened the door of the bathroom and headed to the kitchen, his ears straining to hear any sort of conversation going on between Sam and Ardyce, yet neither were speaking to the other by the time he arrived. Sam was bustling around the kitchen, preparing lunch. His cheeks flushed again, remembering what he'd said to Ardyce a few moments ago, down in his room. "Um."
Her head darted up. "Oh. Are..."
"I'm sorry about what I said earlier," he choked out. Sam of course let out a laugh, increasing the discomfort he felt, but if this were a video game Sebastian would say his discomfort just leveled up. Yet, the words came out because somehow his mind at that moment concluded that apologizing was in the fact the best option. He sucked in his breath, frustrated that he'd made a fool of himself.
"It's okay," Ardyce said. "You're certainly not what I expected."
"I get that a lot," Sebastian muttered, looking neither one in the eye. "It's not a big deal really. I'm used to being a disappointment."
"Seb." Sam took a deep breath. "You shouldn't talk like that."
"He's right," Ardyce said. She seemed nice, which simply made Sebastian want to bolt from the room. The fact he felt some form of sexual attraction to her didn't help, but awkward situations weren't her thing.
"Don't..." Sebastian opened his mouth, wanting to tell both of them not to patronize him, saying things just to make him feel better, particularly since most of the time this simply made him feel worse. Except, the words didn't come out.
"Awkward," Sam muttered.
"Sam!" Sebastian's head darted up, meaning to look his friend in the eye, only to find himself looking at Ardyce. This made him glance away. "Um."
"Look, why don't you take a seat, Seb."
Except, he didn't. He couldn't move as he felt uncomfortable.
"I guess..." Ardyce spoke again. "I should ask if you feel comfortable with all of this. I mean, us suddenly having lunch here, particularly since you don't really know me."
"It's okay." Sebastian sighed, finally moving to sit down at the table. "Demetrius insisted."
"Your step-dad. Maru's dad."
"Yes."
"Sam's cooking?"
"Seb's not used to playing host," Sam piped up, which resulted in Sebastian glancing up to glare at his friend.
"Really?"
"Really. I had to go there," Sam laughed. "What do you want to eat? Pretty much anything is on the table." Sam's blue eyes looked him right in the eye. "Well, anything but egg dishes. My best bud here is allergic."
"Sam..." Sebastian grumbled, far from pleased with how Sam prattled away.
"I like seeing your face turn red."
"Anyways..." Sebastian took a deep breath. "You came because of Maru, right? You want to know what happened to her?"
"Don't you?"
"I'd rather have my sister back." Sebastian leaned forward, twisting his fingers into his hair. "Um, so. About what you heard down there."
"Maru was worried about you."
Sebastian's mouth opened then closed, but he thought nothing came out.
"I said Maru was worried about you. Actually," Ardyce took a deep breath. "She had a feeling something was off."
"About me you mean?"
"I guess you could put it that way, but if she had known what you said you wanted to tell her, it would have put her mind at ease, if not allowed her to understand you better."
Sebastian's eyes blinked, but then he looked up at her. He felt confused. "I don't understand. You're speaking as if my, well, all of that isn't a bad thing?"
"Do you see your autism and your mental illness as a bad thing?" Ardyce asked. She attempted to look him in the eye, which made him look away.
"You've not lived through it."
"No. I admit that is true." Ardyce sighed. "Okay. What I'm saying is going over your head..."
"I know that a lot of things go..." The fact she brought it up frustrated him, but sexual attraction or not...
"Let me finish. As I was saying, what I'm trying to say is not coming across, so I'll be blunt about it. You've not left me with a negative impression. The exact opposite really."
"Okay. This is really getting awkward. Can someone please tell me what they want me to make?"
"Just pick something," Ardyce sighed.
"Sandwiches," Sebastian piped up. "What do you mean by the exact opposite? You told me I wasn't what you expected."
"Truth, Maru left me with the impression that something was wrong because she felt something wasn't quite right, but she couldn't quite explain it. Meeting you, I get why. Autism, doesn't that mean you struggle with..."
"Social interactions. That kind of stuff."
"Yes. Well, it was the fact the social interactions were off that had her worried. She felt..."
"Like I didn't want anything to do with her. It's in her letter. The letter the police took."
"Okay. Look. Ardyce needs you to fix her net, then maybe the two of you could get a room?"
Sebastian felt his ears heat up at Sam's suggestion. "I do know what that means, you... you..."
Sam sighed. "Yeah. Yeah. You're not good at coming up with insults, are you? It's obvious that you like her. Though, that said, I thought you liked Abigail, so..."
"I don't like Abigail," Sebastian sighed, not wanting to go into the fact Abigail didn't take no for an answer. "Not in the manner you're suggesting." A thought crossed his mind, but he looked Ardyce in the eye, as computers were something he was quite comfortable with conversation-wise. "Wait? Are you staying in the apartment about the store?"
"Yes. Why?"
"The entire building is tied to the same wi-fi," Sebastian shook his head. "You'd think Abigail would be over here bugging me..."
"Caroline said something about your mother not letting Abigail come over, so maybe that's why?"
"I guess."
"Speaking of your mother. I was actually expecting you to have red hair, but look a lot more like her."
"Yeah. I know I'm the odd one out in this family," Sebastian sighed, looking away as the conversation took a turn away from computers.
"Honestly, I prefer this image of you."
"Honestly, get a room you two."
"Sam!"
