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Chapter 17

Alcohol and the Fall

"Are you sure you want this? I don't think I have ever seen you drink," Mira says to me, concerned.

"I'm sure, thanks though," I say smiling at the pretty white-haired barmaid.

"Okay then," she says hesitantly, then goes off to take someone else's order.

Once she is gone I gulp the whole jug of alcohol down in a flurry. I get a couple of weird looks glances from onlookers but I ignore them. Besides, everyone in this guild drinks. I am one of the only members who don't partake in this particular habit. Today, though, I just need it!

I have just finished the drink when the sound of female laughter reaches my ears. I look over to the sound even though I already know what I am going to see. I see Lisanna laughing at something Natsu just did or said, and he is smiling back at her, pleased he was able to make her laugh. He shouldn't be smiling like it is such a big accomplishment; everything he does is designed to make people laugh. He is just that big of a stupid oaf. My eyes narrow unconsciously at the sickenly sweet scene.

I immediately call Mira back and order another drink, a stronger one though. This time, thankfully, she doesn't question me and just gives me the drink silently. I gulp this one down too, ignoring the burning it causes at the back of my throat.

I take a quick peak at the two and then look away just as quickly, not wanting to be caught looking. They just look so . . . happy together. I feel a slight pang whenever I see them together. I feel just downright horrible about it because I know exactly what this pang it. I am jealous. I have no right to be jealous though. Lisanna just came back from being 'dead' a month ago. She is such a nice girl, so friendly and pretty. I can see us becoming good friends in the future.

Even though I know I have no right to be jealous, I can't help it. It's not that I don't like Lisanna, it's that she keeps taking Natsu away from me. I mean, he is not ignoring me or anything; we still spend plenty of time together. It's just that we don't spend nearly as much time together as before. I've gotten used to Natsu always being at my side and always being near me. Whether I wanted the company or not he was always there to lather me with plenty of attention. I'm not used to having to share Natsu. I'm finding that I don't like it. No, I don't like it at all.

The alcohol starts kicking in and I can feel myself starting to relax, the stress slowly being carried away by the alcohol. Liking this lightening feeling, I order another drink, which I end up gulping down like I did with the previous two. Thankfully, all the negative feelings fade away. I start to feel drowsy and my eyes droop. Suddenly it's an effort to keep them open.

Mira, noticing this as she had probably been keeping a close watch on me ever since the first drink, tells me, "I think that is enough for tonight. Maybe it is time for you to head home now." All this she says in her normal motherly voice.

I think about it for a second, taking another quick look at the still smiling Natsu and Lisanna, before I nod in agreement. "Alright," I comply.

Getting up is a clumsy affair, the alcohol has definitely taken a heavier tool that I had expected. It takes me a second to regain me balance and bearing. Finally I am stable enough that I can walk without it being too noticeable that I am drunk. Drunk, what a funny conception. I can't believe that I am drunk after only three drinks. This either tells me that I need to drink more and build up my tolerance or I should never touch another glass of alcohol again unless it is only one glass. I guess the morning will decide this one for me.

I stop walking when I hear Mira out from behind me.

"Lucy, wait," she calls out. Then she calls to Natsu, "Hey Natsu, come here for a second please."

Natsu complies without asking a question, coming right to where we're standing, though not before telling Lisanna that he will be right back.

I'm getting more uncomfortable the closer he gets. I have never been drunk in front of Natsu before and I don't want him to notice the state I'm in. I'm not falling over drunk like Cana, but still . . . the very act of being is enough to make me feel shame. Hopefully he and his thick head won't notice.

"What do you want," he asks Mira curiously, though with a hint of impatience in his tone, probably wanting to get back to Lisanna right away.

"Can you take Lucy home please," she asks him. I immediately start protesting knowing what she is going to say. Why does she have to foil all my plans?

Natsu sends her a questioning glance, ignoring me and my protests. Mira answers his unasked question. "She was drinking and I don't know if she can make it back to her apartment by herself," she tells him shooting me concerned looks.

I resent that! I may be a little wobbly but I am perfectly able to get myself home. I've gone through worse than being a little drunk before I came to Fairy Tale and always managed to get myself home at the end of the night. I don't need anyone to take care of me; I'm fine all by myself!

"You're kidding," he says incredulously. "Lucy doesn't drink.' He then proceeds to take a good look at me, which he didn't bother doing before and his eyes widen. I don't know exactly what he is seeing, as I said before I am not falling over drunk, just a little intoxicated. Maybe I am swaying or something? More likely though he is using his unfair advantage of being a dragon slayer and can smell the alcohol on me. Stupid, abnormal dragon boy.

He looks at Lisanna and is about to say something but I beat him to the chase.

"No, Mira, It's okay. I'm fine. I only had a couple of drinks," I say. And it's true, though I may have neglected to mention that they were strong drinks. Woops. "It's not like I am drunk," I say, and I'm not, close, but not quite.

Knowing that Mira would keep pestering Natsu about taking me, and would not give up until I conceded, I turn away from them and walk out of the guild, thankfully not stumbling and betraying my words.

The first thing I notice when I am out the doors is that it is dark and there is not a soul to be seen walking on these streets. As I walk down the lonely, desolated road by myself, I immediately regret my decision to reject Mira's proposal. I knew he would have come with me without an argument or complaint, but I saw the glance he shoot towards Lisanna. He wanted to stay there with her. Who am I to take him away from her? I am not that selfish.

You know how when you are drunk, or in my case really close to being drunk, you don't always make the smartest decisions? Well I decide to jump up onto the ridge of the river, just like how I always do when I walk home. But unlike every time when I walk home, I am almost drunk. It is a known fact that people who have consumed alcohol . . . don't always have the best coordination. But, you know that people who drink alcohol don't often think about that fact when they act, or about the consequences.

It was all okay at first. Sure I stumbled a few times, but I always managed to regain my balance and not fall. Perhaps those stumbles should have warned me, but as I already mentioned, I was almost drunk and not thinking with a clear mind. So I stay on and keep walking along the ledge.

This time when I stumble, I am not able to find my balance again. Luckily I do not fall onto the hard concrete. Not-so-luckily, I fall into the water.

The river is freezing cold. I find this out first when I roughly hit the hard water. I go into a sort of shock at this point, from the sudden confrontation of this cold water.

I sink fast.

I do wnt to swim back up but between the chock and the alcohol, my arms and legs feel as heavy as weights and I can't get them to move no matter how hard I try.

So I just drift down . . .

And down . . .

And down.

Soon I can't hold my breath any longer and bubbles containing oxygen escape my mouth and go up to the surface. If only I could follow those bubbles. As soon as I'm completely out of breath I accidently swallow some water and I start choking. I choke and it is the most terrifying experience of my life. Choking takes away your ability to think rationally and leaves you out of control as pain racks your body. I can't stop more water from rushing in; causing me to choke even more and it becomes a vicious cycle. Soon I will be completely filled up with water.

I start to lose consciousness.

Before I completely drift off to oblivion, I think that this must is what becoming one with the water must feel like, after you get past the choking, it is kind of peaceful. That is the last thought I have before I drift off.

"-cy . . . . Lucy," I vaguely hear in the distance, or at least, that is what it sounds like. I wonder who is calling me.

I hear my name being called a couple of times more. I feel my chest being pressed roughly, over and over again and I think I feel something on my lips. Soon the pressure becomes unbearable and the need to breath makes itself known.

I try to breathe in and immediately start choking on the water still in my lungs. I break out into a huge coughing fit before I am able to breath more evenly again and my breathing returns to normal.

I hear someone say, "Oh, thank Kami!" I try to open up my eyes to see this person. It is hard; my eyelids feel so heavy, as if they are locked in place. It takes a couple of tries but I am eventually able to do it.

It is blurry at first and my eye's sting from the salt water, but when they finally begin to start focusing, all I can see is Natsu's concerned face.

I try to speak, but my throat is all scratchy from choking. I have to swallow a couple of times before I am able to rasp out in a barely audible voice, "Natsu." He manages to hear though thanks to him elevated hearing senses.

He wastes no time pulling me close to him and onto his lap, hugging me desperately to him as if I might slip away. I didn't even know I was freezing cold until I feel the warmth radiating off him, even though he is just as wet as I. I cuddle closer to him and his warmth trying to rid myself of this dreadful cold. My teeth clatter loudly and I am shivering excessively.

"What were you thinking," he asks me angrily. "Why were you drinking? Why did you refuse to have me escort you home? And what in kami's name possessed you to walk on that ledge. Where you even thinking at all?" he yells at me. He wasn't yelling at first, but as he continued talking he progressively got louder and louder until at the end he was yelling his questions at me.

His yelling caused me to feel both shameful and indignant. He has no right to yell at me! "It's none of your business why I was drinking, and obviously if I did anything stupid it's because I was drinking, baka," I say as heatedly as my exhausted body would let me.

"It is my business when you almost get yourself killed," he yells completely enraged.

I flinch back at the force of his anger, speechless. If only I could be mad at him. I can't be mad at him when he is angry at me for me, because I know he is only angry out of worry.

"I'm sorry," I say sincerely, ashamed of my behavior.

"Then tell me what's wrong. Something must have been bothering you to cause you to drink," he asks.

I contemplate not telling him for a second, but the alcohol, the almost drowning, him saving me, the cold, and his caring has left my in a vulnerable state. I find myself wanting to tell him, wanting to be selfish for once.

"It's nothing really . . . I've just been feeling a little bit lonely ever since Lisanna came back. She is a great person and all, but ever since she has been back we haven't been able to spend as much time together. I sort of missed you," I confess with a false nonchalance, trying to make it seem as if it wasn't bothering me as much as it is.

I turn my body away in shame of having admitted something so pitiful, shameless, and jealous sounding. That is not who I am. I am not a jealous person. I don't even have anything to be jealous of! There is no way I am jealous for Natsu. There is no way. We are just friends. There is no way he thinks of me like that, especially with Lisanna back, every man's dream girl. Like I said before though, I am not jealous!

"Is that what this is about? I thought it was something serious," he says laughing.

How dare he!

Still without turning back to face him I respond, "Well sorry that is seems so trivial to you."

"Aw, come on Lucy, I didn't mean it like that," he says, pleadingly to me. "I promise I will spend more time with you."

"Do whatever you want," I say offhandedly, though secretly pleased.

"I'll spend so much time with you. I will never leave your side. You better make sure your apartment is ready to hold two people from now on." He says.

I groan, what I have gotten myself into?

"No, that's okay," I say quickly. "You can just take me home now and then leave," I say, now thinking that maybe all of that free time was a blessing. Oh well, too late.

"Okay Lucy," he says merrily, trying to sound sincere. I roll my eyes at his obviousness.

"I'm not kidding," I say seriously.

"I will be staying with you tonight. I am not leaving my nakama after she almost drowned to death. I have to stay and take care of you," he says, disregarding my demand.

I want to fight him on this, but I can't seem to find the words and make them come out. So I just nod meekly and let him lead the show for once. Quite honestly also, I don't have the strength to argue with him. It is nice to be taken care of once in a while.

I try to stand up, but find myself unable to do so, being too weak from the incident. Noticing this, Natsu gently picks me up and places me on his back. I hug him, trying to bury myself in his warmth and comfort.

When we get there, he grabs my pajamas and goes to the bathroom filling the bath with hot water and puts me in it, fully clothed mind you. I let the water warm me up and somehow manage to dry myself up and get clothed despite my weak state. He comes back in after knocking and carries me to the kitchen, where he made me soup (heated up a can of soup) and waited patiently while I ate it, forcing me to drink plenty of water. After I am done, he carries me to my room and puts me on the bed, tucking me under the covers and then following my under and cuddling with me. For once I put up no resistance and let his comforting presence gently lull me to sleep.

Oh my! The dragon came to the bunnies rescue again. The bunny doesn't know just how close to dying she came. She really had the dragon worried. If anything happened to his bunny, the dragon wouldn't know what to do with himself. The poor bunny was lonely though, missing her dragon. Was that jealousy the dragon heard? I think it is, and the dragon knows it is. The dragon likes this jealous part of her. Now that he knows this useful piece of information, he will definitely keep good on his promise and never leave her alone. Her vulnerable state is really cute, making the dragon wish he could see he vulnerable more often. Maybe he will somehow have to make her vulnerable again? If only the dragon could tell her that she had no reason to be jealous of the kangaroo, he is already in love with her. Well, I guess he is just going to have to spend much more time with her from now on. Oh, how he is looking forward to this!


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