CHAPTER TEN
And then there was you
When Brooke came home that afternoon, she wasn't sharing her classmates' euphoria about being in vacation for a week; she was exhausted. She wished she could say that it was due to a week spent focusing too hard at school, and on learning how to do everything with only one arm, but that would have been a lie.
Her earlier conversation with Lucas had been the last straw, leaving her with an emptiness that she knew she was solely responsible for. After all, she had decided not to listen to him, because she had been ─and still was─ too afraid to hear what he would say to her if she were to ask him too many questions. She could only blame herself for her current situation, but emptiness was still far better than getting her heart trampled on. She knew she was being a coward, by refusing to hear him out, but she did not care about that.
She went straight to her bedroom and got back to her drawings. Her sketchbook, that would usually last for a month or so, had been filled within a week. She may be feeling empty and lost, but she had never been this inspired before, probably because sketching turned out to be an effective distraction from all the negative thoughts that had been invading her lately.
Brooke had been sitting at her desk for about two hours, drawing and humming, when her mother softly knocked on her door.
"Do you need a ride for tonight?" Victoria asked, her head poking through the doorframe.
Brooke looked over her shoulder and turned her seat towards the door. "A ride for what?"
"For tonight's game."
She suddenly became nervous: she had yet to tell her mother about her heat-of-the-moment resignation. "I don't need one," she said evasively, before spinning back to her desk.
She took her pencil and continued sketching the dress that she had been working on for half an hour. Although she did try her best to focus on that, she could not help but notice that she had not heard the door shutting close yet, which could only mean one thing.
"Then who's taking you there?" Victoria, who indeed hadn't moved an inch, asked. "Peyton?"
She scoffed, her eyes fixed on the pencil she was holding. "No."
The door was still not getting closed; instead, it creaked open, and she heard footsteps approaching her and stopping somewhere behind her, by her bed. "Who, then?" her mother asked, and Brooke noticed the concern in her voice. "Don't tell me you're going there on foot."
"No, I'm not." She hesitated, then added: "I'm not going."
"What?" Victoria asked in surprise. "Why not?"
With much reluctance, Brooke turned on her seat once more to face her mother. "I quit," she said with a shrug that she hoped would be casual.
Victoria stayed silent for several seconds, gawking at her. Eventually, she managed to break out of her trance. "You did what?" she asked while sitting down on the bed, pushing aside some of the sketches lying there. She didn't sound angry, but rather… utterly confused.
"I quit," she repeated quietly.
"Why did you do that?"
"You really want me to cheer with my sling on?" she asked back, motioning with her head to the said splint.
Her mother furrowed her brow. "When did that happen?"
"On Monday." Brooke gazed down at her lap, knowing very well what her mother was thinking right now.
"But why did you quit? You'll get your arm back in a couple of weeks."
"No, I won't. The doctor said that I'd need another three weeks of physical therapy before my shoulder gets back to normal." Her mother still had a dubious look, which prompted her to add: "And the championship ends in a month."
"I don't get it." Victoria did not look like she was about to back off any time soon. "You love cheerleading."
She held back a sigh. "Yeah, but I can't do that anymore. Plus, that means I don't have to run into─" She snapped her mouth shut before saying too much, but from the look on her mother's face, she knew it was too late.
"I see," Victoria mused, narrowing her eyes at her. "So that's why you quit."
"No!" she retorted a tad too sharply. "No, that's just a bonus… I quit because of my shoulder."
She was not proud of lying to her mother's face, but she knew that if she were to tell her the truth, then Victoria would ask her about Peyton and Lucas. She did not want to explain what had happened, since she knew her mother would tell her that she was overreacting─ but only because she didn't know about everything that had happened to Brooke ever since she had caught the rabbit's tail. If she did, then she would surely understand Brooke's behavior.
Probably.
Possibly.
"I see," Victoria repeated in a murmur. She was clearly not buying any of it. "Why don't you go to your father's then?"
Her mouth fell open. "To L.A?" Where did that come from?
"And why not? You'll get some rest and, as a bonus," she said, squinting at her as she stressed the last word, "you won't run into anyone you don't want to see."
"B─ But," she stammered, "I can't just go there on a whim─"
"He's repeatedly invited you to come over. I'm sure he'll be pleased to see you."
"How do you know that?" Brooke asked, raising an eyebrow.
"We still talk, you know. It's usually about papers he needs me to sign, but we talked about you when I told him about your accident."
Brooke held back another sigh and avoided her mother's inquisitive gaze. "I can't go," she said in a firm voice. Again, she was lying, but she couldn't quite tell her about her chances of passing out and travelling to the future at any moment. "Haley and I are working together this week."
"Really?" She couldn't blame her mother for doubting her: that sounded too convenient. "On what?"
"We have to write a paper on poetry. You know I suck at poetry" ─that wasn't a lie─ "so Haley said she'd help me during spring break." That, however, was a blatant one.
"I see," Victoria said, and Brooke knew from the shift in her voice that she was admitting defeat for now. She glanced at the drawings scattered next to her on the bed. "Are these all new?" she asked, taking one in her hands.
Brooke went back to her current sketch. "Yeah."
"Aren't you gonna sew them?"
Her pencil started scratching the paper. "I will, yeah. You know I always try to."
"But you usually do that right after you're done drawing them."
Brooke spun on her chair once more and raised her eyebrows at her mother. "With one arm?!" she asked in disbelief.
"Did you even try?"
"How am I supposed to do that? With my feet?"
"Why not?" For the first time in what seemed like ages, Brooke burst out laughing, making her mother smile back at her. After a few seconds, she realized that her mother was being completely serious. "I'm sure you can work your way around it. Why don't you google it?"
"Erm… Okay," she eventually said, failing to hide her skepticism, "I'll try."
This seemed to satisfy her mother, who stood up and walked to the door. Before she left the room, she turned one more time to her daughter. "You know, that's not like you at all," she said pensively.
"What is?"
"Quitting."
Brooke knew that her mother wasn't only referencing her sewing; she was also pointing out her inability to face Peyton or Lucas. But that was where she was wrong─ maybe her maternal side made her amplify Brooke's good traits. In all truth, she had never been comfortable with the idea of being vulnerable to anyone but a handful of people─ among them, Peyton and Nathan ─and the deeper her feelings, the more vulnerable she felt. For now, she wasn't ready to talk to anyone about this, not even to herself; she would rather keep ignoring the inner voice that kept sneering at how she was burying her head in the sand.
During the weekend, she noticed very quickly that Lucas had really gotten her message: he didn't try to get in touch with her, not even once. He stopped calling and texting altogether; Brooke was relieved, or at least, a part of her was. For some reason, instead of lifting her spirits, that only seemed to darken her mood. She was… frustrated, which was ridiculous, she knew it was. She had specifically asked him to give her some space, and he was only respecting her wishes. What was wrong with her? She refused to speak to him, yet she was getting depressed from his silence… It wasn't the first time she was having contradictory thoughts on this, she noted to herself, remembering the piece of fabric stuck under her pillow, the one thing that had helped her get any sleep these past days.
She tried ignoring her very schizophrenic and confusing thoughts by diving into sewing. She did as her mother had said and found a series of tutorial videos explaining how to sew with an incapacitated arm. It took several hours of practice, but by the end of the weekend, she had managed to get the hang of it. She tried several techniques and eventually put her sewing machine on the floor: by doing so, she could use her left foot to hold the fabric in place; although it obviously took her much longer than regular sewing, it did work. Cutting the fabric also became possible after a trip to her attic, where she found an old wooden board and a round cutter.
"See?" her mother told her with a lopsided smile, after Brooke had come down to the kitchen to show her the skirt prototype she had just finished. "I told you that you could do it."
"You were right," she admitted with a grin, admiring her work and handing it to her mother. She walked around the kitchen island while her mother was busy detailing the skirt, and peeked at the pot cooking over the stove. "What's for dinner tonight?"
"Chicken." Brooke turned to look at her mother, intrigued by her distant tone. Victoria leaned against the table, raised her head to meet her eyes and said, "Something came for you in the mail."
"For me?" Brooke repeated, bemused. "Today?" Since when did they get mail on Sundays?
"It wasn't in the mail. It was on the doorstep."
Brooke followed Victoria's gaze to the table and walked towards it. There was a bunch of torn-up empty envelopes and flyers, and next to it, a brown colored envelope that seemed to carry a stack of paper. Taped on top of it was a regular sized white envelope with her name written on it.
She recognized Lucas' handwriting at once and cursed at herself for the flutter she felt. She hesitated but eventually opened the smaller envelope: it contained a short handwritten note.
Brooke,
I know you asked for time on your own, but I think I can still help you to figure some things out. You'll find in here everything you need to know, everything that I want to say to you.
I miss you,
Lucas
Her heartbeat sped up as she kept staring at the brown envelope; she frowned and, with a sidelong glance, saw that her mother was standing next to the stove, apparently captivated by her chicken. Her hands were slightly shaking when they opened the envelope and pulled out the first centimeters of what happened to be the first page of a new chapter.
She started reading the first lines, but stopped before she had even reached the second paragraph.
Had he seriously just given her thirty pages about his relationship with Peyton? What was she supposed to do now? Read this? How was that supposed to make her feel any better?
Everything that you need to know, he had written. Why would she even need to know all this?
Her frown deepened and she closed her eyes, leaning against the table. She may not understand what was scaring her so much, but she did know that she did not want to read this.
She put the chapter back in the envelope and dropped it on the stack of ripped envelopes.
"You're not taking it?" Victoria asked her just as she was about to leave the kitchen, empty-handed.
Brooke turned around to see that, even though her mother was stirring the cooking pot, she was also staring at the envelope. "No," she answered, shaking her head.
"So… Does that mean I can throw it away?"
"Whatever," she grumbled, leaving the kitchen. She immediately felt a pang of remorse and pondered on going back to save the envelope from the recycling bin, but shook her head and decided otherwise. It was better this way.
It had to be.
She went back to her sewing, and was still going at it when Haley dropped by the next day. Brooke had texted her, asking her if she could show up a couple of times in the week to make sure that her mother would see them working together, and when she had admitted to her why, Haley had told her that it was actually a good idea. She came by with two copies of the book Mr Foreman had asked them to read.
"Why did you bring two?" Brooke asked her, lifting her right foot from the sewing pedal.
Haley sat cross-legged on the bed and took out a notebook and a pencil from her bag. "There's one for you."
"Hold on, you really want us to work on this?" Brooke asked, raising an eyebrow.
Haley gave her a nod. "We only have a few days to write this paper, so we might as well get to it right away." She blinked at her and bent over the edge of the bed to take a better look at her. "Are you sewing with your foot?"
"Yeah," she said with a chuckle. "I could actually do it all with my right hand, but it's much faster to use my foot as a left hand."
"Isn't you back gonna hurt?" Haley asked her with a slight frown.
"Don't worry about that, Mom," Brooke said mockingly.
Haley rolled her eyes and seemed to remember something. "Speaking of, check out your book."
Brooke tilted her head, intrigued by the sudden hint of excitement in her friend's voice. She reached out for her copy of the book and noticed something sticking out of the first pages. Her eyes grew wide with surprise when she saw that it was a picture of an ultra-sound. "No way!" she cried, her eyes darting back and forth between Haley and the picture. "Is that…"
"You tell me," she answered with a laugh. "You're the one who keeps seeing him in the future."
Brooke narrowed her eyes and pretended to carefully study the first official photograph of Jamie. "Yup, that's definitely his nose." She grinned at Haley and handed back the picture. "When did you get this?"
"This morning," she answered as she was admiring the picture with a fond smile. "You should have seen Nathan, he was so stressed about this."
"Why?" Brooke asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, he doesn't know about anything you told me, so he's more worried than me about… Everything, really."
"Makes sense." Brooke couldn't help feeling guilty, despite knowing that she couldn't just run around town telling everyone about her travels. Mouth knew because she had needed someone to confide in. Haley knew because Brooke hadn't thought of any other way to prevent her friend from becoming a single mother slash Texan bartender. But Nathan? There was no immediate reason for him to know, and they all agreed that for now, keeping this a secret from him, or anyone else, was their best option. "How did it go?"
Her friend's lips stretched into a broad grin. "Great. But, um, unfortunately," she said with a giggle, "we still can't tell from the ultrasound if it's a girl or a boy."
They both laughed and, soon after, Brooke went back to her sewing, while Haley laid on her side and started reading Rumi's book. They both stayed silent for a while; the only sound in the room was the sewing machine's whirring, until Brooke did start to get back pain and had to take a break.
She stretched her neck to see that Haley hadn't moved an inch and looked absorbed in her reading.
"It's that good, huh?"
Haley startled. "Well, yeah, it's just so beautifully written. I get what Foreman said by connecting with this, I mean… Listen to this." She cleared her throat and read aloud:
The best of love has many trials.
A real lover doesn't flee love's tests.
But, when love reaches deep in the soul,
to surrender your life becomes the foreplay.
Brooke groaned, rolling her eyes. "Don't tell me they're all about love?"
"Not all of them, no… But I'd say half of them are, yeah."
"There is no way I'm picking one out," she grumbled.
Haley gave her an encouraging smile. "Come on, I'm sure you'll find one that…" her voice trailed off, and she seemed hesitant to go on. "Actually, I might have found one for you, but I don't think you'll like it."
"Hit me," she said warily.
Haley flipped a few pages until she found the text she had been looking for:
Anger and lust make a man squint;
they cloud the spirit so it strays from the truth.
When self-interest appears, virtue hides:
a hundred veils rise between the heart and the eye.
"I don't get it," Brooke said with a slight frown. "Lust?"
Haley scratched her chin with the soft end of her pencil. "Er, yeah, I guess that part doesn't fit… But the rest of it does!"
"So, you're saying that Rumi thinks I should put my anger aside and stop ignoring Peyton?"
"His words, not mine," she said with an innocent shrug.
"Well, Rumi obviously didn't know Peyton," Brooke mumbled before turning back to the skirt she was sewing.
"What about Luke, then?"
She kept staring at the fabric. "Still angry with him too." Her foot pushed on the pedal: the whirring resonated once again. She heard Haley sigh, but her friend was kind enough not to say anything back. Instead, she went back to her reading.
She knew Haley was becoming uncomfortable on her bed, because she kept switching positions every five minutes. With a quick glance over her shoulder, she noticed that Haley hadn't dared to use her pillows.
Brooke told her that she could make herself at home; when the bed stopped squeaking, she figured that Haley had finally found a comfortable position.
"Brooke?"
"Yeah?" she asked absent-mindedly, focused on her work.
"The reason you don't want to speak to Luke, it's because you're, um, angry at him, right?"
Why was she asking about this again? "Yeah," she mumbled with an annoyed frown, not looking up from her machine.
"Then what is this doing under your pillows?"
She looked up and froze when she saw what Haley was holding out. Her feet slipped from the pedal and the fabric, ruining the last stitches she had made, but she didn't care about that: she was staring at Lucas' grey hoodie.
She felt her face burning up and stuttered: "I─It's not what you think."
Haley looked both relieved and amused by her reaction. "It's not Lucas'?"
"I mean, it is, yeah, but─"
"So, you don't want to talk to him, but you keep his clothes in your bed."
Brooke's mouth opened, but no sound came out of it. She gazed down at the floor and gave out a sigh. "You can't tell him," she managed to mutter despite her embarrassment.
There was a pause before Haley answered, "I won't."
Brooke looked up at her in surprise; Haley really looked like she meant it. "I know it doesn't make any sense to you. It doesn't make any to me either. I just… I couldn't sleep last week, after my accident, because I was… I don't know, insecure, I guess. But it gets better with this," she said, picking up the hoodie from her bed. "It's pathetic, I know. I can't even change my phone's screensaver."
Haley slid off the bed to sit next to her. "You're not mad at him at all, are you?" she asked tentatively.
"A bit," she admitted with a shrug. "I mean he didn't tell me about Peyton, but… I can't really blame him for that, it was a long time ago."
"Then why won't you listen to him?"
She clenched her fist on the hoodie and averted her eyes. "I don't know… I feel like everything's connected, and I don't like it at all because it's…" After a moment of hesitation, her voice lowered: "It's scary."
"What do you mean, everything?"
"You know," she said as she looked up at her, "the travels. The fact that Peyton isn't in my future life─"
"We don't know that for sure," Haley pointed out, though her frown betrayed her hesitation.
"We do know that. Future Lucas didn't want to talk about her… Actually, no," she corrected, shaking her head, "he said he had already told me, and he didn't want to do it again. That can only mean bad news, right?" Haley's mouth turned into a worried frown, and she nodded. "So there's that. And there's a reason why I can travel, and I'm pretty sure it has something to do with Peyton, and it has to be so that she can be in my life again. But I don't know that for sure, and all I know is that Future Lucas is hiding stuff from me, but only because my future-self asked him to, which doesn't make any sense, and now I learn that my Lucas and my Peyton are also hiding stuff from me! Everyone's lying about everything, and I can't understand shit about anything at all!" She heaved a deep breath, feeling somewhat relieved after her rant.
Haley took some time to process everything Brooke had just said. "You think that's why you can travel? To keep Peyton in your life?"
"It has to be, right?"
"Okay, let's say it is," Haley said pensively. "Why wouldn't she be in your life?"
"I─I don't know." She frowned then mechanically rubbed her left shoulder. "But if Future Lucas is so unwilling to tell me about it, then…" She sighed: the lump was growing back in her throat. "Then maybe it has something to do with him."
Haley hesitated before asking: "Do you think she's in love with him?"
"No," she said firmly. "No, that's pretty much the only thing I know for sure. She's not in love with him." She paused to let that last sentence sink in. She knew, now, what had been scaring her so much and why this whole thing had made her this uncomfortable. "She's not, but…"
Haley's eyes grew wide. "But you think that he's─ No, no way," she said, vigorously shaking her head at that idea, "Brooke, he's crazy about you. Trust me, I know that."
"You didn't know about Peyton and him," she pointed out, her voice quavering.
"But that's only because she asked him not to tell anyone! Not because he has feelings for her!"
"Did you ask him?" Haley was taken aback by that question. "Did you?"
"Well, er, no, but…" Her friend looked like she didn't know what to say, until her face suddenly lit up. "Get on your feet," she commanded as she jumped up and pulled on Brooke's functioning arm.
"W─What?" she asked, not moving an inch. "Why?"
"There's something I have to show you. Come on," Haley insisted, pulling harder until Brooke gave in and followed her.
Haley drove her to a well-known spot in Tree Hill; as soon as Brooke recognized the road to the Café, she begged her to stop the car.
"Why are you taking me there?" she yelled at her in horror.
Haley didn't even flinch. "Don't worry, Luke's not there."
She threw her a dubious look. "And how do you know that for sure?"
"Because I know his schedule, alright? He's not working today."
"He could still be hanging out─"
"He's not there," she repeated. "He's only leaving his room to go for a run." She parked her car, switched off the engine, and turned to Brooke. "I swear you won't see him. We'll go through the back door," she said as she pointed at the window to her right.
Brooke reluctantly followed her gaze and saw that she had indeed stopped the car behind the Café. "What about Karen? I can't run into her either."
"Deb's in the kitchen today."
She scowled at her friend. "You've got this all figured out, huh?"
Haley was right; they didn't run into anyone but Deb, who was too busy to chat with them. Wasting no time, Haley grabbed her arm, dragged her to the staircase and only loosened her iron grip when they reached the rooftop.
Brooke looked around, wondering what Haley wanted to show her; as far as she could tell, nothing was different here. She felt a chill wind hitting her face and tightened her scarf around her.
"What are we doing here?"
"Just take a seat somewhere," Haley said without looking at her.
She sighed and sat cross-legged on the nearest deckchair, while Haley was walking around the bricked wall to a spot Brooke remembered checking out about a month and a half before. She knew she had been right when Haley came to sit beside her, holding a grey rectangular box.
"Why do you want to show me your predictions?" Brooke asked her with a raised eyebrow.
Haley's head jerked up in surprise. "Wh─ You know about them?"
"Yeah," she said with a shrug, "Lucas told me."
"What?!" Haley shouted, making her flinch. "When did he do that?"
"Er… Right after everyone found out about your pregnancy. But why is that a bad thing?"
"Because we have a pact! We can't tell anyone unless─"
"But you're telling me right now, and you didn't ask him first, did you?"
"No, but─" Her traits softened, and she lowered her head. "You're right," she admitted sheepishly.
Brooke chuckled at her reaction. "So why do you want to show me your predictions?"
"Not mine," Haley said eagerly, meeting her eyes. She put the box between them, opened it, and took out a small piece of paper for Brooke to read.
This year, I will be with Brooke.
Brooke silently stared at the paper in her hands before putting it down. "I've already seen this."
"Well, then you must know that─"
"I don't," she cut her off with a frown. "For all we know he wrote this on a whim and─"
Haley snorted. "A whim? Are you serious? It wasn't a whim, he's spent months crushing on you!"
"Yeah, well, I'm not the only one he's crushed on before, right?" she retorted, gazing down at the opened box. "Actually, I'm pretty sure all these other papers are about Peyton."
Haley shifted uncomfortably. "Er, no, not all of them, but─ Brooke!" she shouted when she saw the brunette reaching out for the box and rummaging through it. Brooke quickly recognized those with Haley's handwriting and tossed them aside, so that only Lucas' predictions were left in her hands. "Brooke, I don't think you should─"
"This year," Brooke read aloud, her hands slightly shaking, "I will forget about Peyton." She went on to the next paper. "This year, I will be with Peyton," she said, her voice lowering with each word. She opened the next one. "This year, I will tell Peyton that I…" her voice choked.
Haley slowly took the paper from her and read the rest of the sentence. "That I love her," she said in a soft voice. "Brooke, that doesn't mean anything. He wrote this back in 2016… We were just starting high school."
"It does mean something," she insisted, her voice still quavering. "It means it wasn't just a crush he had on her, he was in love with her. Skills said so himself, he said he was heartbroken after she rejected him. And then he waited for months before he even spoke to me, that's how much he was hurt."
"But that was a long time ago!" Haley retorted, and Brooke could hear panic spreading in her voice. "He loves you, he told you he─"
She shook her head. "No, he didn't."
Haley blinked at her in confusion. "But you said that─"
"It was Future Lucas, not this one," she said, grabbing the paper Haley was holding and waving it at her.
"Brooke, this is ridiculous, you really think that he still has feelings for Peyton? After all this time?"
"And why not?" she said, tears pricking her eyes.
"It doesn't make any sense."
"You know what doesn't? That he would be madly in love with Peyton and then get over her with someone who's not just her best friend, but also her complete opposite." She avoided Haley's surprised gaze and murmured: "That doesn't make any sense." Great, now she was crying again─ she wished she could say it was due to the wind hitting her face, but who was she kidding?
"But you've been to the future. You know how he acts around you now, and how he will. Do you seriously think that he would stay with you for so many years, that he would propose to you, if he didn't really love you?"
Part of her agreed with Haley, but she couldn't help thinking that it was all too good to be true.
"What if…" she murmured, unsure of her words. She sniffled and said, "What if the only reason he loves me is because… Because he doesn't have a choice."
"What do you mean?" Haley asked, puzzled.
"Well, you know, because Peyton is out of our lives. What if…" She frowned, wondering where all these thoughts were coming from. "What if he ends up regretting it?" Maybe that was it: the reason why she could travel. It did have something to do with Peyton. But then, didn't that mean that in order to fix things, she would have to─
"I shouldn't have brought you here," Haley said with a sigh, dragging her from her thoughts. She looked guilt-ridden. "It was a terrible idea."
"No," she said, shaking her head. She put the papers back in the box and closed it. "It helped me get a clear picture. At least now I know what's been bothering me."
"But─"
"Can we please go back to my house, now?" she asked, wiping the tears that had rolled down her cheeks.
Haley was about to say something, but eventually sighed and said, "Sure."
Her sewing rhythm intensified after she came home that afternoon, and when she wasn't sewing, she was sketching, which only seemed to worry her friends even more. Haley stopped by again the next day, with Nathan this time; they stayed for dinner after Victoria had invited them to. They all noticed how Brooke was being unusually quiet but didn't point it out, and instead tried to take her mind off things. Nathan mostly talked about his first days at Keith's body shop and gave them an update on her car: it would be back to normal in about ten days.
She spent the next two days locked up with her sewing machine; according to Mouth, by then she could open up a store.
"A very small store, then," Brooke said with a chuckle. She looked up and saw that Haley was still writing her English paper at her desk. She turned to Mouth, who was sitting on the floor next to her and cutting pieces of fabric, following the dotted lines that she had drawn on them.
"Fine, maybe not a store," he said with a quick glance at her. "But it's a good start. How many clothes does it take to make a clothing line?"
"Erm…" She looked around them to count the numerous clothes scattered in the room. "I'd say about this much, yeah."
She heard Haley chuckling from her seat, her back turned to them, and then shifted to Mouth to see that he looked absolutely serious. "There you go."
"It's not that simple," she told him with a quiet laugh. "I don't think this can be called a business yet."
"What are you talking about?" he asked, lifting his scissors to make a point. "You already have people working off the books for you." The two girls laughed again. "All we need is a name for your brand and bam, you're an entrepreneur."
"A name, huh?" Brooke mused as she examined the fabric Mouth had just cut for her.
"How about… Brooke's Secret?" She raised an eyebrow at him but before she could say anything, they both startled when they heard Haley's laugh. "Come on, it's not that bad!" he cried in defense. "It's funny, because your mother's name is Victoria and─"
"Yeah," Brooke said, patting his shoulder with a chuckle, "we got it. But it's a big no."
Haley spun on her chair to face them. "How about Tree Hill Threads?"
"Tree Hill Threads…" Brooke repeated. "It's better," she said, laughing when Mouth gave her an offended look, "but it's a bit of a mouthful."
"B. Davis Clothing?" he suggested with a hopeful tone.
"I don't know… I don't think I'd like to name it after me. Makes me sound like a narcissist."
"Then it's a perfect name!" he exclaimed, immediately shielding his face with his arms. She swatted his chest, making them both laugh. "Fine, fine," he said with another laugh, "a brand without your name it is."
"Why did you start sewing?" Haley asked her, her chin resting on the chair.
"I don't know," she said with a shrug. "I've always liked fashion. And then I started drawing a few years ago. I was terrible at it," she said with a chuckle, remembering the first sketches she had made and that her mother was keeping somewhere safe, making sure that Brooke wouldn't be able to burn them. "But then I kept practicing and I got better. I started sewing last year, but I don't think I've ever made this many clothes in such a short time," she noted with a hint of sadness in her voice. "Nothing like a clothing line to mend a broken heart, huh."
She lowered her gaze to the fabric and felt Mouth's hand on her back. "Brooke," Haley said with a pleading voice, making her face her, "I'm sure that if you just go and talk to Luke then─"
She shook her head. "No thanks. I think for now I'll just stick to clothes over…" The words got stuck in her throat, surprising them all.
Haley was the first to react. "What is it?" she asked with a worried face.
"That actually sounds good," Brooke mused.
"What are you talking about?"
"Clothes over─"
She startled when she heard a phone ringing. She frowned, wondering whose phone that was; she couldn't recognize the ringtone. "Is it yours?" she asked Mouth, before standing up to scan the room, searching for the source of that noise.
"Is what mine?" he asked back, more and more puzzled by each word she was saying.
She lifted the blankets but there was nothing there. "The phone," she said, wondering where it was.
"What phone?" Haley asked her, her eyebrows raised.
Brooke spun around to face her. "What do you mean what phone? The one that's…" her voice trailed off and she stared at them both, realizing that they had no idea what she was talking about. "You can't hear it." They couldn't, yet Brooke could hear it loud and clear. And that could only mean one thing. She sat back on the floor and leaned against the edge of the bed. "I'm travelling."
Her friends both gasped at the same time; Haley rushed to kneel next to her and clenched her shoulder. "Right now?"
"Yeah, right now," she said, frowning at the tingle that had just appeared in her fingers and toes. She groaned when she heard the usual buzzing sound; it seemed like it was getting louder and louder with each travel, because it was now blasting her eardrums.
"Oh my god," Haley squealed in excitement. "I can't believe it's happening right in front of us!"
"Can we film this?" Mouth asked eagerly.
"I, er…" She groaned again: the sound was becoming unbearable. She wanted to tell them that a five-minute footage of her sleeping probably wouldn't be very interesting, but before she could utter a single word, she felt an urge to close her eyes.
When she opened them, her head was resting against her arms, on a smooth but hard surface. Something that felt like wood. She straightened her back and saw that she had indeed been leaning against a wooden desk. Her right hand was holding a pencil, and her left was─
Her left hand! She could move it! She rolled her shoulder several times, giggling like a child when she noticed that it didn't hurt at all. It felt so nice not to wear that sling anymore!
She looked over her shoulder when she noticed that the phone was still ringing, but before she could stand up, it stopped. She shifted back to her desk: it was filled with sketches of clothes. Some looked really great to her, yet for some reason they were crossed out with a red felt pen. Her eyes travelled north, to the wall she was facing, and she saw with amazement that there was a huge corkboard hanging there, with what looked like a hundred of different papers pinned to it. There were also many fabric samples, what looked like invitations to various fashion shows, and several timetables. Above it all, was a single paper, the size of a small notebook page, with three words written in capital letters:
CLOTHES
OVER
BROS
She frowned at the handwriting: it was extremely familiar, but she couldn't quite say why… She shook her head, and her lips stretched into a smile when she read again the name that she had just thought of a few minutes before. She stopped daydreaming when she heard a clunking noise next to her: hail was hitting the window to her right and when she peered through it, she realized that she was in the Brooklyn apartment.
Her heart sank: if she was right, then she would probably run into Lucas─ no, Future Lucas. She wasn't sure what she would say to him… What if she asked him about Peyton, what would he say then? Did she even want to know?
She was wondering if it weren't best for her to just wait in this room until her travel would end, when she heard a sudden knock on the door.
"Brooke!" a male voice called from behind her, making her jump. "It's for you."
Wait, that wasn't Lucas, that was… "Nathan?" she cried in surprise, spinning on her chair.
Nathan was standing three meters from her, holding out a phone in his hand. He had a buzzcut that almost made her laugh; she couldn't remember the last time she had seen him with such short hair. Other than that, he looked pretty much the same as the last time she had seen him, back in 2027. He was wearing a light-colored t-shirt and a pair of shorts, which made her assume that despite the chaotic weather outside, it was probably summer.
He looked puzzled by her reaction. "Who else did you think I was?" At a loss for words, she simply shrugged at him and motioned to get up. "It's for you, it's─" He gasped when he saw her stagger; before she could fall, she managed to grab the desk and, a second later, felt Nathan's arm circling her waist and steadying her. "She'll call you back," he hurriedly said before hanging up. "Are you okay?" he asked her with a worried frown.
"Erm, yeah," she said, closing her eyes and massaging her temples. "I just feel a little dizzy."
"Didn't you say the doctor told you to get some rest?" he asked, his voice hardening. She heard him put the phone on the desk and take a step back. "Why are you still working?"
"Er, I was just sketching a little," she improvised. She didn't feel so dizzy anymore, so she opened her eyes and met Nathan's. "Thanks," she told him a with a smile that quickly vanished. She frowned: something was wrong. She wasn't dizzy anymore, but her balance was still off.
She looked down at her feet, and her heart stopped when she noticed that she couldn't see them.
She couldn't see her feet, because they were hidden by her belly. Her huge, pregnant-woman belly.
She shrieked, startling Nathan who tightened his grip around her, panic running through his eyes. "What's wrong? Brooke, what's wrong?!"
"I─ I'm─ No, no, no, I can't be," she stammered. Her left hand reached out for her abdomen, but she managed to stop it at the last second: she was way too scared to touch it. She shuddered and soon enough, had trouble breathing.
"Calm down." Nathan clasped her shoulders and gently pulled her down, making her sit on the floor.
"I can't be, I can't be, I can't be," she kept repeating. She knew her weird behavior would alert Nathan, but she couldn't help it. She had never felt this terrified in her life. And the worst part was that now that she was aware of her… situation, she could actually feel something moving in her belly. "Oh god," she whimpered, feeling sick all of a sudden. She pressed a hand against her mouth and shut her eyes tight.
"Brooke, calm down," Nathan said in a reassuring tone. "You're fine, alright? Just try to focus on my voice, nothing else." He was right, she was fine. She wasn't pregnant at all, only her future self was. She would simply have to go through this for a short while, and then she would ─hopefully, very soon─ go back to her own time, her very non-pregnant time. "Come on, breathe. Feeling better?"
She let out a sigh and looked up at him. "I think so," she croaked.
"Alright, let's get you to the couch," he said, grabbing her hand.
He walked her to the living room, one arm hovering over her waist, probably in case she would have another attack, and told her to sit down and not move a muscle until he was back.
She watched as he rushed out of the room, in the direction, if she recalled correctly, of the kitchen, then glanced around her; she couldn't exactly tell what was different, but she knew the decoration had slightly changed since the last time she had been in this room. Then again, if her memory was right, that had been in 2024─ no, 2025. She shuffled to the other end of the couch, where there was enough room for her to stretch out her legs.
Before she could even think of a decent explanation to give to Nathan, she heard him come back and saw that he was holding a glass of water.
"There you go," he told her, sitting down next to her. "Feeling better?"
How could she be? Her breast hurt, her legs weighed tons and she was sweating like crazy. "Yes," she managed to say.
"Drink," he told her with a frown when all she did was nervously stare at the glass he had handed her.
She brought it to her lips; then, and only then, did she notice the shining object around her ring finger. She spat out the water, startling Nathan, and after a coughing fit, managed to clear her throat and say, "Sorry, it, er, it tastes funny." She ignored his dubious face and gulped down the drink before putting it down on the coffee table, all the while staring at the golden wedding band adorning her left hand.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Nathan asked her with a suspicious squint. "You're still acting weird, what happened? Is it the baby?"
"N─ No, there's nothing wrong with, er, him." There was no way she could say the word 'baby' aloud.
"Him?" Nathan repeated, his eyebrows furrowing. "But last night, you said…" He paused, and for a moment that seemed to last forever, kept silently studying her face. "Just now, in your study, it was almost like you were shocked about─ Holy shit!" he shouted with wide eyes. "Y─ You're, you're─" He pounced on her, making her flinch, and locked her into a tight hug.
"Um, Nate?" she called with a nervous chuckle. "You're the one acting weird now."
He pulled back, still holding her tightly by the shoulders. "You're Brooke!"
"I know that."
"No, I mean, you're the Brooke from high school, right? You just travelled here, didn't you?!"
Her mouth fell open and she stood gaping at him; she must have looked funny because he laughed at her. "You… You know?" she muttered in disbelief.
"Of course I know," he said, rolling his eyes at her. Brooke really needed to take a break: first the pregnancy, then the wedding ring, and now this? Did everyone in her life know about her travels? What was next, she was going to work with the NASA to teach them about time-travel? "I finally get to talk to you!" Nathan said, interrupting her thoughts. From the thrill in his voice, Brooke knew that she wouldn't get her break any time soon.
"But, um…" she hesitated. "We've already talked. Not for long, but─"
"Yeah, I know, I ran into you twice, but I only got to know about it afterwards. Wow," he said with a grin, "so this is it, huh…"
"What year is this?"
"2028. August 2028." His brow slightly furrowed, and he tilted his head. "Did you know that you would be pregnant?" She shook her head. "Wow… I get why you panicked. So, erm, where do you come from?"
She knew that by 'where', he really had meant 'when'. "April 2nd." She saw that he was trying to remember that time and added: "Haley's twelve weeks pregnant."
"Oh, right," he said with a nostalgic smile. He leaned on his side and scratched his head. "It always amazed me, you know. How you could travel like this."
"It's not amazing." She paused, then added with a frown, "It's mostly annoying."
"Really?"
She crossed her arms against her chest, but as soon as she noticed that it made them rest against her belly, she dropped them back to her sides. "I mean, sure, I get to know a lot of stuff but… There's also a lot that I don't know."
"I still wish I could do that," he said with a shrug.
"No, you don't. You don't get to choose when you leave or what year you land in."
"Yeah, you told me about that. I mean, not you but…"
"Future me, I get it."
"It's too bad you can't pick your destination." His eyes lingered on the bay window to their right. "I know exactly where I'd go," he said with a frown, his light-hearted mood suddenly gone.
"And where is that?" she asked, intrigued by the switch in his whole demeanor.
He turned to her and after blinking twice, seemed to get a grip on himself. "Erm, nowhere really, I don't know why I─"
She nudged him, "Come on, you have to tell me now."
He let out a nervous laugh and avoided her stare. "I would go to, erm…" He looked thoughtful for a moment, and suddenly his face lit up and he said, "2011."
She gave him a puzzled look. "Why?"
"Remember that basketball camp Dan sent me to? I was the smallest of my group, and I spent the whole month losing games and being bullied."
"I do remember," Brooke said with a fond smile. "You wrote us a letter, asking us to break you out of there. But why would you go to that time?"
"Because now, I would be able to kick their ass."
They both laughed at that. "You couldn't, though," she mused after a while.
"What? Why not? I would be much stronger than─"
She shook her head. "No, I mean you can't pick 2011."
"And why not?" he asked, feigning offense.
"Because I can only travel into the future."
He blinked. "Er, right," he said with a nervous chuckle, "I forgot about that."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "You forgot that I could only travel in the future? How do you forget something like that?"
"We, er, we don't really talk about it much," he said with a shrug. "Anyway, um," he cleared his throat, "I should call Luke, right? He went with Haley and Jamie to get some─"
"Don't."
"Don't what?"
Her voice lowered, "Don't call him. Please."
"Why?" he asked back, puzzled by her reaction. "What's wrong? Wait…" he said with a thoughtful frown. "When did you say you were from again?"
"April 2nd."
"April…" he repeated in a murmur. "I remember! Isn't that when you guys…" his voice faded as he seemed to remember something else. He hesitated before asking: "Are you still not talking to Peyton?"
Brooke immediately looked away. "I'm not talking about that."
"Why not? You'll go back to your time in a short while, and I won't be able to badger you with that again." She gave him a sidelong glance; he was right, but still, that didn't mean that─ "What are you waiting for, Brooke?"
She hesitated, then answered: "Nothing. I just don't want to talk to her. And anyway… Isn't it why she's out of my life now? Because of that whole thing with Lucas?"
"What are you─" He didn't finish his sentence; instead, he sighed and rolled his eyes. "Just go and talk to her, Brooke."
"Why?" she retorted angrily. "Because the universe is telling me that I should? Well, screw that, that doesn't mean I want to! She lied to me."
"She didn't."
She glared at him. "She did."
"She didn't tell you about a part of her life," he said in a calm voice.
"A part that involves my boyfriend!"
That seemed to tick him off. "But that's exactly what you're doing to her."
"Excuse me?"
"Well, yeah," he said, suddenly doubtful, "have you told her about your travels?"
"I… No," she admitted, "but that's not the same at all. It doesn't concern her."
"It doesn't concern her?" he repeated with a scoff. "Come on, you just said that you think this is a way for the universe to tell you to make peace with her! And…" He hesitated once again, but eventually made up his mind and said, "She's not the only one you've done that to." When he noticed her puzzled expression, he added: "It's April, which means you still haven't told me, right?"
"Correct," she admitted. She was starting to see where he was going with this. "But I have my reasons for─"
"And did you ever stop to think that maybe Peyton also has her own reasons? You can't blame her for doing something that you've been doing yourself for months now." He sighed and added: "I mean, you knew about Jamie before Haley even got pregnant, right?"
"Right," she admitted sheepishly.
"And you didn't tell us."
"But Mouth said that I shouldn't say anything or else─"
He squeezed her shoulder. "Hey, it's okay, I know about that," he told her with a soft smile. "I'm not mad at you at all… I mean, Haley and Jamie are the best thing that ever happened to me. But come on, you didn't tell me I was gonna be a father. A father, Brooke!"
"Looks to me like you're doing a great job," she mumbled, looking down at her hands.
He chuckled. "But it doesn't change the fact that you didn't warn me. You didn't warn us. So you can't blame Peyton for doing the same about something that doesn't even─" His eyes widened and he quickly said, "That probably doesn't even involve you."
"Probably, huh?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
He winced. "I said too much, didn't I? You told me that I can't blabber and─"
"It's alright," Brooke told him with a faint smile, "I don't think you said too much… When did you get this wise anyway?"
"It took a while," he said with a laugh. His amusement quickly faded, and he said, "But seriously, don't waste anymore time."
She cocked her head to the side. "What do you mean?"
"It's…" He paused and looked like he was, once again, pondering on what to say next. "Having Jamie made me realize how it all goes too fast. I swear, yesterday he was still a baby I could hold in my arms." A fleeting smile appeared on his lips. "So don't waste time being too stubborn, you'll regret it."
He stayed silent, giving her time to process everything he had just told her. It didn't take her long to reach a conclusion. Nathan was right: she couldn't keep blaming Peyton for doing something that she had been doing on a daily basis since September. She had to swallow her pride and hear her out. "I can't believe you're right," she admitted with a pout.
"Does that mean you'll go talk to her?" he asked, his face lighting up. When she gave him a nod, he pumped his fist in the air, making her laugh. She had a strong sense of déjà-vu and quickly recalled seeing Jamie doing the exact same pose as he was sitting on his father's shoulders. "What is it?" he asked her, intrigued by her response.
"Nothing," she said with a chuckle. "Jamie really is your son."
He snorted. "And you doubted that?"
"Well, he kinda looks exactly like Luke so─" She saw him grab the nearest cushion and ducked just in time to avoid getting hit in the face. She sat back, giggling, and noticed that he was holding back a laugh. "I'm guessing that's not the first time you heard that."
"Nope. I mean, now I don't hear it much, but a few years ago when we moved back to Tree Hill, every single person we ran into kept saying how he was the spitting image of Luke."
"That's because they didn't grow up with you," Brooke said, nudging him. "He looks like him, yeah, but he acts exactly like you did," she said with a smile. "Except he's a lot smarter."
She was expecting him to launch another cushion in her direction, but instead he simply laughed and said, "Yup, that's definitely true." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "But if Jamie looks like Luke, then maybe the next one will look like Taylor. That would be fun to watch," he said with a grin, probably imagining Haley's reaction.
"The next one? Is Haley─"
"No," he answered quickly. "I'm always on the road, so now is not a great time to have another kid, but… We talk about it."
As if on cue, she heard Haley's voice saying something about lying her down. Since Haley wasn't in the room with them, she knew that she was about to travel back. "I'm leaving."
Nathan looked disappointed to hear that. "Can't you stay a little longer?"
She chuckled. "What part of 'can't control any of it' don't you get?"
"Yeah, I know, but… It was nice talking to you. And seeing you freak out," he said with a smirk.
"I agree. About the talking part," she added with a quick glance at her hands that were now tingling. "Thank you," she said, flinching when she heard the loud buzzing noise. It was deafening, and Brooke would not have been able to make out what Nathan was saying if he hadn't pulled her into a hug.
"Anytime," he told her, his arms locked around her shoulders. She hugged him back, resting her head against his chest, fighting the drowsiness that was threatening to overtake her. He sighed and murmured in her ear: "Take care of yourself, Brooke."
She noticed the hint of sadness in his voice, but was unable to ask him about it as her body went limp.
Her eyes fluttered open to see Mouth and Haley's faces hovering over hers. She blinked and realized that she was lying down on the floor, with a pillow under her head. Her hand mechanically went to her stomach, and she sighed in relief when she felt that it was flat. She also groaned when she noticed that her left hand was back to being useless.
"How are you feeling?" Mouth asked her warily, putting a hand on her shoulder when she sat up.
"Good. I need some paper and─" Before she could finish her sentence, Haley dropped exactly what she needed in her lap. Brooke looked up at her and chuckled at her friend's eager look. "Alright, just give me a moment to write it all down." She secured the notebook on her lap and started writing. Mouth moved back to the wall and patiently waited for her to finish writing, but Haley didn't seem to have the same patience: she stayed on Brooke's left side, her neck stuck out to see what she was writing.
"Hey," she chirped when Brooke was writing about the corkboard, "that's the name you came up with, right? Clothes over─"
"Shh!" Brooke hissed.
"What are you talking about?" Mouth asked her.
Before Haley could answer him, Brooke glared at them both, silently telling them to let her focus. They both gave her an apologetic look and she went back to writing. However, after a minute or so, she noticed out of the corner of her eye that Haley stood up and moved to her desk. She heard her rip off a page from a notebook and write something on it. She came back to sit with them and handed the page to Mouth. Her interest piqued, Brooke momentarily stopped writing and looked up to see that Mouth was holding up the very same notebook page that Brooke had seen pinned on that corkboard; now she knew why the handwriting had seemed so familiar… it was Haley's.
It took her a good twenty minutes to write everything down. As soon as she was done, her friends practically ripped it from her hands and started reading.
"Wow, so you really have a fashion brand and…" Haley paused, blinking in confusion. "That paper you're talking about, isn't that…"
"Yeah," Brooke said, taking the paper that was lying at Mouth's feet. "It's this one." She examined it closely; part of her still couldn't believe that all of this would come true one day. It all seemed too good to be true.
"Nathan!" Haley cried with excitement. "You saw him?"
"Um, yeah, I did and─"
"You're pregnant?!" her friends both yelled at the same time, making her flinch. Haley and Mouth shared a worried look. "Are you okay?" Mouth eventually asked her. "That must have been a shock."
"If you keep reading, you'll see that I almost fainted. It was just so… weird." She turned to Haley and asked, "Do your legs feel like they have doubled in size?"
"Tripled, even," she said with a chuckle.
"And do your boobs hurt like hell too?"
"Constantly!" Haley looked thrilled that someone had gone through the same experience as her, even for just a moment. "I've had to shop for new bras because─"
"Um, girls," Mouth cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable, "can we move on to something else?"
They both laughed at his embarrassment and agreed that they would discuss this another time, preferably in his absence. They went on and kept reading until they reached the end of Brooke's entry.
"I can't believe Nathan knows," Mouth said in a murmur. "When is that gonna happen?"
Brooke shrugged. "No idea."
Mouth and Haley talked at the same time, their voices overlapping: "Don't you think it's weird that he said he'd go to the─" "So did he really convince you to─" They both stopped talking and looked at each other; Mouth, with a small smile, invited Haley to ask her question first. "Did he really convince you to talk to Peyton?" Haley asked her in wonder.
"I know, I can't believe it either," she said with a chuckle. "I guess you're really a good influence on him. And, er, speaking of that… Could you give me a ride to her house?"
They both looked surprised at her request; Haley quickly agreed. They were so relieved to see that Brooke was finally being reasonable ─they didn't exactly tell her that, but she could tell from their expressions that it was what they were thinking─ that they forgot about what Mouth had wanted to say.
Since Mouth was riding home, Haley finally got the chance to tell Brooke about all her pregnancy symptoms that had been bothering her, including her recent need to get a new size of bra. After a few minutes, she pulled over right in front of Peyton's house. Brooke thanked her for the ride and climbed out of the car; she watched as Haley drove away and turned to the familiar porch.
Peyton was standing there, her back turned to her; she was watering her plants and speaking on the phone. Brooke hesitated, and after remembering what Future Nathan had told her, slowly walked up the porch steps.
"I know, Dad," Peyton said with a slight annoyance. "You keep telling me the same thing every time." She moved to her right and watered her begonias. They hadn't flowered yet; it would take another couple of months. "I swear I'll get it checked out before summer, but honestly, it's running just fine and─" She turned around and froze when she saw Brooke leaning against a column. "Er, Dad, I'll call you back," she murmured in a dazed voice before hanging up. She put down her watering can and sat on the handrail.
They silently stared at each other. "Is your Dad still badgering you about your car?" Brooke asked awkwardly.
Peyton blinked at her. "Yeah," she muttered with a frown. "What are you doing here?"
"I can go if─"
"No! That's not what I, um… I just, I didn't think you'd come so soon."
Brooke held back a smile; she really did know her. "I didn't think either, but someone made me see that I was being too stubborn." She came closer to Peyton and sat on the bench. "I can't stay mad at you forever, especially since… Well, there's gotta be a reason why you didn't tell me about Lucas, right?" Peyton nodded. "So, er… What happened?"
Peyton crossed her arms against her chest. "How much do you know? Didn't Nathan tell you about us?"
"Yeah, last week… He said that you guys started seeing each other that summer I went to Spain. How do you know we talked? I thought you weren't speaking to him?"
"I went to see him two days ago," she said with a shrug. "I figured I couldn't keep being angry at him for my own mistakes." Nathan hadn't told her about that, even though they had had dinner together that day; it wasn't that surprising though, he was not the type to pick a side. "I don't even know where to start," Peyton admitted in a low voice. She frowned and sent her a worried glance. "That summer was right after Ellie…" she said with a strangled voice, her hand mechanically going to her wrist. Brooke was surprised to see that she was wearing Ellie's memento again; it had been a while since she had last seen it. Peyton followed her gaze and immediately stopped fiddling with her bracelet. "I know, it's been a while," she said, glancing up at Brooke. "This whole thing got me to think about her again, and… Anyway, that summer, I was, um… Lonely," she admitted reluctantly. "And sad. And angry." She sighed, shaking her head. "I was so angry at… everything, I guess, and everyone. I didn't understand why I'd get to know my mother and then lose her after a few months. It wasn't fair."
"Still isn't," Brooke said quietly.
"When you left for your vacation, I, um… I started going to parties. Like, every night."
"That doesn't sound like you."
"I know." She shifted on her foot. "I wasn't really myself… That's how I ran into Lucas. And, er…" She lowered her eyes to the ground. "I knew he was into me back then, and I just… I just needed to feel less lonely. To feel something else. So, we started seeing each other." She stayed silent for a moment, looking unsure of what to say next. "And then I met some college guys who, er… gave me some stuff to help me take my mind off things. Help probably isn't the right word, though."
"Some stuff? What stuff?" she asked, puzzled.
Peyton gave her a knowing look, but when Brooke still didn't know what she was talking about, she sighed and murmured: "Pills."
"Pills?" she repeated, still confused as to what she was implying. And then it dawned on her. "You mean drugs?!" she cried, wide-eyed. "W─ What?! You used drugs?!"
"Only a couple of times, and…" Peyton averted her eyes. "I felt terrible about it every time. But it was the only thing that seemed to help me not to think about Ellie. Sex and alcohol weren't working."
Brooke stayed speechless for a moment. "B─ But I don't get it," she stuttered, "you kept telling me that you were fine." She remembered texting and calling her best friend several times a week to make sure that she was okay.
"I didn't want to ruin your trip," Peyton said with a shrug.
"Who knew you were tripping too," she blurted, immediately regretting her words when she saw the pained look on her friend's face. "Sorry, that was…" She sighed and shook her head. "I just wish I had known back then." She furrowed her brow and shifted her gaze. She should have known. She knew her best after all, and she remembered thinking to herself back then that it was surprising that Peyton was doing fine all of a sudden, but in a way, it had been convenient for her to believe that, because it had relieved her of all her worry and allowed her to enjoy her vacation. "You weren't fine at all," she muttered, her voice filled with sadness.
"Okay, see?" Peyton said, gesturing at her. "That's why I didn't tell you."
"But I should have─"
"No," she said sharply. She walked to the bench and sat next to her. "You're not my sitter, Brooke. I did this all on my own."
"What happened then?" Brooke asked cautiously.
"About a week before you came back, Lucas told Nathan about our, um, arrangement. So, Nate came to talk to me and, well, he saw that I wasn't doing well at all. We talked for a while, and he made me see that I was just using Lucas," she admitted with a sigh. "He said I couldn't keep doing this to him. Or to myself." She paused, then chuckled, surprising Brooke. "I guess it was a wake-up call when he, out of everyone, told me that I was being insensitive to Lucas' feelings." Brooke's lips curled up; Peyton was right, that was Nathan she was talking about, or at least his before-Haley version. "He was completely right, though," Peyton said with a frown. "I told him we should stop seeing each other. And then we all went to Nate's party, you were there too, remember?"
"Yeah," Brooke said with a nod. "It was a couple of days after I came home. That's, er… That's when you rejected him, right?" she asked, an image of a drunk Lucas flashing in her mind.
"He came to see me that night, told me that he─" She froze and threw her a cautious look.
"It's okay," Brooke said with a sigh. "You can say it."
"He told me that he loved me and that he wanted to go out with me." Brooke felt a pang but did her best not to let it show on her face. She seemed to have managed to do so when Peyton kept speaking, "I said I didn't see him like that. And then after a few days, I went back to see him."
Brooke lifted her eyebrows. "Why?"
"To apologize to him. And also to ask him not to tell anyone about what had happened. Nathan had already agreed to it." She paused and stared at her hands. "I was really ashamed. And then when you started going out with him, I asked him again not to tell you, because… Well, I told him it was because it wouldn't do you any good, but that was just part of it. I also wanted to put this all behind me, I didn't want to think about it again." Peyton's voice started quavering. "I know that was selfish but─"
Brooke pulled her into a hug; after a moment of surprise, Peyton hugged her back. "I'm sorry I didn't help with all that," Brooke murmured with a sigh. "I should have listened to you sooner."
"And I should have told you sooner."
She pulled back with a frown. "No, you didn't have to. I had no right to─"
Peyton rolled her eyes. "How about we just both agree that we should put this all behind us now?"
"Sounds good," she said with a chuckle. "And, er… I should probably go back to cheerleading, too. I mean, if the squad wants me to."
"If we want you to?" Peyton repeated with a scoff. "You should have seen us during the last game… Actually, no, I think it's better that you didn't, because otherwise you would have spent the entire night yelling at us."
"You were that bad, huh?" Brooke asked in amusement.
She shrugged. "It's like we stopped being coordinated the minute you quit." She glanced at her sling and asked, "How's your shoulder?"
"I still have to keep this for ten days," she said, counting the days to freedom. "But it didn't stop me from sewing a whole collection," she stated with a grin.
"For real?"
"Yeah. I got help from Haley and Mouth, and my mom too, I guess, but I'm doing all the sewing by myself. Wanna see it?"
"Sure," she told her with a broad grin. "But, wait, don't you want to go talk to Lucas first?"
Her face fell. "Why would I do that?"
Peyton blinked in confusion. "Well, now that we're good, I thought you would─"
"I'm not gonna do that," she said, jumping on her feet.
"But you…" Peyton paused and seemed to wonder if it was worth it to argue now, when they had just made up. "Alright, straight to your house it is, then," she said with a shrug.
Peyton told her that she had been accepted for the internship in L.A., which meant that she would spend the entire summer there. They made plans to meet there, when Brooke would go see her father; it would not be a problem then, because she knew that she would stop travelling by then.
Her best friend didn't mention Lucas again, but Brooke could tell that it was constantly on her lips. They did joke about the fact that Peyton had been the one to, as Brooke had put it, deflower her boyfriend, but that was all they spoke about. Brooke still did not feel ready to go there.
Was he still her boyfriend? He definitely was, since she hadn't once told him anything about breaking up. She didn't want to.
He was also more than just her boyfriend: he would one day be her fiancé, then her husband, and then…
Well, all that was only going to happen if she decided not to change anything. Wasn't that why she could travel? To change the future? To make sure that the people she loved most were happy?
But that was the thing: he did seem happy in the future. He seemed happy with her, be it in 2020 or in 2027. What was that supposed to mean, then? Could he be happier with someone else? With the girl he had been in love with, and with whom he had never really had a chance? Was that why Peyton was out of her life in the future? Because Lucas had never really gotten over his feelings for her and things got awkward between them? She kept thinking back to the many predictions he had written about her, to Skills saying that he was heartbroken, to Nathan making sure that he wasn't going to get screwed over again.
Was she just overthinking all this?
She knew it all tied up to Peyton, it had to… But Peyton didn't love him, she never had. However, she hadn't really been herself when she had been with Lucas, so maybe that was it. Maybe the universe was just telling her that she should give those two a chance.
Brooke wasn't that selfless, though; she didn't want to let go of what she had, of what she would have. There was a reason why she felt at ease when sleeping with Lucas' hoodie, or why she couldn't bring herself to change her phone screensaver.
Peyton stayed over that night; Victoria didn't make any comment, but she did look pleasantly surprised to see her. The next day, when she woke up, Brooke was confused to see that she was alone in her bed; it was still very early, and they had fallen asleep after chatting all night.
She walked down the stairs and slowed down before reaching the last steps: she could hear voices coming from the kitchen, including a male one. She frowned, wondered who that could be, and silently made her way to the kitchen. She slightly pushed the door open, just enough to see that her mother was having breakfast with Peyton and Nathan.
What was Nathan doing here?
"That's not gonna work," she heard Peyton say in a murmur. "Have you met her?"
"We can still try," Nathan retorted, chewing on some cereals.
"Does he even know about your─ Hey, Brooke!" Peyton said when she noticed her listening in on them. They all turned to her and ushered her to sit with them.
Brooke complied, staring at Nathan in confusion. "What are you doing here?" she asked him while her mother stood up to get something from the kitchen island.
"I thought I could pay you a visit," he said with a shrug, grabbing the cereal box and pouring some more in his bowl. "I heard you guys made up, so I figured we could celebrate."
"With breakfast?" she asked back.
"Well, Haley's working at the Café this morning, so I was free."
Victoria came back to the table and handed her a plate of pancakes and a cup of tea. "Thanks, Mom." She glanced at her mug. "Should we make a toast, then?"
"Sure," Peyton said with a lopsided grin. "To dead mothers haunting us."
"To sitting on the fence," Nathan added. "And to my kid's first ultrasound."
Brooke raised her mug. "To being too stubborn for your own good."
They each grabbed their drinks very solemnly; Victoria laughed at the sight of Brooke's cup of tea, Nathan's mug and Peyton' glass of orange clinking together.
They all took a sip of their drinks and shared the same amused look. Brooke frowned when she smelled coffee and with a quick glance, noticed that her mother wasn't drinking anything.
"You're having coffee?" she cried at Nathan. She turned to her mother with an offended look, "How come he gets to drink coffee?!"
"I'm not his mother," Victoria said matter-of-factly. "You have a problem with that, you can take it to Deb." Brooke glared at Nathan when she heard him snicker from behind his cup, and turned back to her mother when she heard her say, "Keith texted me yesterday about your car."
"Is it ready?"
"I don't think so," her mother said with a slight frown. "He wants to discuss something about it."
"When did he ask you to come?" Nathan asked her with sudden interest.
"As soon as possible. But I can't go there until next week."
"What? How come?" Brooke asked, raising an eyebrow.
Victoria shrugged. "I have somewhere to be," she said evasively. "But you could go for me."
Brooke gazed down at her plate and took a bite of pancake. "I don't know. It's on the other side of town, and─"
"I can take you there," Nathan chimed in.
"But how do I get back here? It would take hours until your shift ends."
"I'm not working today, but I, er, I forgot something there and I need to get it back. So, since I'm going, you might as well come with me." He cleared his throat and threw a meaningful glance at Peyton.
"Yeah," Peyton said, turning to her, "two birds with one stone."
Brooke could feel their stares piercing through her head. "If you say so, I guess I can─"
"Great!" Nathan exclaimed with a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. "Now finish your breakfast so we can go!"
She knew they were up to something, but since it was almost comical to watch, she decided to play along, at least until she had climbed in Nathan's car and he had started driving.
"So what's the plan?" she asked him once they were out of her neighborhood.
"I'll go get my stuff from my locker and you can go talk to Keith about─"
"No," she cut him off, squinting at him, "what's the real plan?"
He gulped and nervously gripped the wheel. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Fine, but I warn you, if Lucas is there, I'm not going in," she said sternly.
"He's not… I mean, he is working there today, but─"
"So what, he asked you to bring me there?" she asked with a frown. That didn't sound like him at all.
"No," he sighed, confirming her thoughts. "He doesn't know, alright? We just thought that maybe if you were to run into him then… I don't know, you'd at least talk to him."
She stared at the road. "Fine. You can get your stuff, but I'll stay in the car."
"But what about Keith?"
"What about him?"
"He wants to talk about your car!"
"Wait, that wasn't made up? Then what about my mother saying that she had somewhere to be?" she asked with air quotes on the last three words.
"That's also what she told us. That's how we" ─he noticed her dubious look and chuckled─ "fine, that's how I got the idea to, er…"
"Drag me there."
He gave her a sheepish look. "Yeah."
"I don't get it. It's been almost two weeks, and you never tried to make me talk to your brother because you know how I'd react. So why are you doing this now?"
He sighed and shrugged. "I don't know, I thought maybe since you made up with Peyton, you'd be more open to talk to him. And I'm kinda tired of seeing you two moping around."
"I─ I'm not moping around."
He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right."
"Did you tell him that?" she asked quietly. "That I'm moping around?"
"No, I didn't tell him anything."
She held back a sigh and looked down at her lap. "I'm sorry," she muttered gloomily.
He sent her a puzzled look. "What for?"
"You know… Making you sit on the fence," she said, quoting his earlier words.
"Hey, you know that was a joke, right? You don't have to apologize for that."
"Okay," she said with relief. "I should thank you then."
"For what?" he asked, sounding even more confused.
"For being an awesome friend," she said in a serious tone that seemed to surprise him.
"What did I do to deserve that? Didn't you just say that I was dragging you against your will?"
"You deserve it," she told him with a grin that quickly vanished, "but I'm not speaking to Lucas."
Last time she had been to Keith's shop, Brooke had gone through the back. This time, however, Nathan made her go through the clients' entrance and after telling her that he would be in the locker room, vanished behind a door to the right. Brooke looked around her; the room was small, and there was only one other door that she guessed would lead to Keith's office.
She walked to the counter and waited for the secretary to hang up the phone. Brooke frowned, trying to remember her name; she could have sworn that Lucas had told her what it was, but the only times he had talked about her, he had mostly underlined her nosiness.
While she was talking over the phone, Brooke detailed her appearance: she was around her sixties, with grey curly hair that reminded her of a broccoli head, and red cat-eye glasses that had slipped on her nose. She was chewing something and doodling on a notebook.
After a couple of minutes, she finally hung up and looked up at her, offering her the brightest of smiles.
"Hello pumpkin, what can I do for you?"
Pumpkin? "Is, er, is Keith around? I mean," she quickly added when she saw a reprimanding look crossing her face, "Mr. Scott."
"And who's asking?"
"Brooke Davis. He texted my mother about my car."
"Davis, huh," she mumbled, flipping the pages of what looked like a schedule. "I don't see your name anywhere here."
"I don't have an appointment. Keith─ I mean, Mr. Scott told her to stop by whenever she could. She couldn't come, so I'm here instead."
"Davis," she mumbled again thoughtfully. "Where did I hear that name?"
"It's a common name," Brooke said, holding back a sigh. "So could you please tell him that I'm here?"
"Davis… Brooke Da─ Oh!" she cried, her eyes growing wide with thrill. "I know! You're little Lukie's─"
"Brooke?" a male voice called.
They both looked up to see that Keith had just come out of his office and was staring at them in disbelief.
"Hi Keith," she said awkwardly. "My mother said you wanted to talk about my car."
"Right," he said, blinking at her. "Come on, let's get in my office." He waved at her to follow him. Before she walked in, she noticed the annoyed glance he sent to his secretary.
He closed the door behind them; Brooke had already been here once, in September. Since the opposite door, leading to the workshop, was ajar, she could hear the bustling coming from its other side: it was a funny mix of music, laughter, clinking and grunting. The window's blinds were up, and Brooke ventured a gaze toward it; with relief, she noticed that she couldn't see Lucas there.
"I'm sorry, Susan can be a pain sometimes," Keith told her with a groan. "She blocks the clients I want to see, but when it's someone I want to avoid, suddenly it's an open house." Susan, right, now she remembered it. "She didn't, um, tell you anything weird about, er, anyone?" Brooke wondered what that question even meant, but eventually shook her head. "Good," he said with relief. He motioned her to take a seat and sat behind his desk. "I was expecting your mother, not you."
"She couldn't make it," she said with a shrug.
"How did you get here?"
"Nathan dropped me off. He's hanging out in the changing room."
There was a moment of awkward silence. "How are you doing? We, er, haven't seen you in a while."
"Fine, thanks," she mumbled.
Thankfully, he caught on her embarrassment and swiftly moved the discussion to her car. "So, the reason I wanted to see your mother was because there's been a mistake in our initial diagnosis."
"What do you mean? It can't be repaired?"
"It can, but we're gonna have to change more parts than what we had planned at first." He opened a drawer and pulled out a sheet, putting it down on his desk between them. "This is the new quote. I need your mother to sign this before we can finish our work."
Brooke leaned forward and saw a bunch of complicated words and numbers lined up. She stood up, took out her phone and lined it above the sheet before going to her camera app.
"What are you doing?" Keith asked her, his eyes locked on her phone.
"Sending a picture to my mom. That way if she gives the green light, you can start working right away and─"
He chuckled and glanced up at her. "That can't do, I need her signature."
"I can forge it," she said casually. "With her authorization, of course."
"Of course," he said with a crooked smile. "Still, I really need her own signature. Don't worry, we can't even start working now because it will take a few days to get all the parts."
"I see," she said in disappointment, putting her phone on the desk. She noticed that he kept staring at it and looked at its black screen.
"So, er, how's your vacation going?" he asked her in a nervous voice.
Why was he going back to that? She knew he had sensed her discomfort just two minutes ago, so why… "Good."
His eyes kept darting from the window to her phone. Brooke wondered what he was up to, until she heard a familiar voice yelling something in the workshop; so, Lucas really was there.
"Have you seen the wedding pictures?" Keith asked, jolting from his chair and approaching the corkboard hanging to the right wall. She imitated him and saw a picture of Lucas, Karen and him that had been taken during the reception. Her eyes lingered on Lucas and on his warm, contagious smile; she noticed that Keith was looking in her direction and quickly shifted her eyes, painfully aware of the blush creeping on her cheeks.
They both startled when they heard an angry outburst coming from the entrance. Keith gave her a quick glance and told her to wait for him before dashing out. Although he closed the door as he left, she could still hear a male voice shouting some unintelligible words, first at Susan, and then, she guessed when she heard another male voice, at Keith. She frowned, wondering who that could be, and before she could open the door to find out, she heard the male voices coming closer and closer to her. She quickly jumped back, almost leaning against the door leading to the workshop and saw the door fling open and Dan Scott rushing into the room, quickly followed by Keith.
"Where is he? I want to see him!" Dan cried, his face distorted with anger. His eyes stopped on Brooke, and after a second of confusion during which he probably wondered what she was doing here, he narrowed his eyes at her. "Where is Nathan?" he asked her dryly.
"He's not here," she managed to say, sending an alarmed look to Keith.
"See? I told you," Keith told his brother, clasping his arm.
Dan gave him a dirty look. "Do you think I'm stupid? His car is on your parking!"
"He's gone," Brooke said, getting his attention back. "He, uh, had an errand to run." She didn't know what he wanted with his son, but she could tell that he wasn't going to be very nice to him. She frowned, wondering if Nathan could hear his father's outburst from the locker room… Probably not, because he would have otherwise already come to check on them.
"How convenient," Dan taking a step in her direction. He stopped in his tracks when Keith's grip tightened around his arm.
Keith ignored his brother's scowl; he kept his cool, but Brooke heard his voice harden when he said: "Leave her alone."
"You don't get to order me around," Dan told him, jerking his arm free. He turned back to Brooke, "And you, aren't you supposed to be his friend?"
"You mean Nathan? I'm pretty sure I am, yeah," she answered cautiously.
"And you didn't tell him anything when he knocked up that girl?!"
So that was what this was all about. She did remember Nathan telling her that his father still didn't know about his impending fatherhood… Until now. "That's between Haley and him."
Her answer didn't please him. He walked a few more steps toward her and glanced at the door behind her. Brooke immediately knew what he was thinking about and stepped back, pushing the door closed with her foot. "I can't let you go there," she told him with what hoped would be a steady voice.
"Excuse me?" he asked, his face red with anger.
She knew Nathan wasn't there, so theoretically, there was no issue in Dan walking into the workshop. Theoretically… because someone else was behind that door, someone who hated being around Dan. Her eyes darted to the picture she had been staring at and shifted back to the angry man in front of her. "In case you haven't noticed, I have an appointment with Keith," she snapped at him, her right hand resting on her hip. "And I would very much appreciate it if you would let us get back to that, and let the people here do their work."
Dan blinked at her and almost every trace of rage seemed to vanish from his face, leaving him flabbergasted. "Tell Nathan to pick up his phone," he grumbled before storming off.
Keith watched his brother leave and after they both heard the front door slamming shut, he turned to Brooke and broke into a grin. "Thank you for your help."
Her arm dropped to her side as she eyed the door warily, expecting Dan to storm back in at any moment. "Don't mention it. Does he, er… Does he know about your wedding?"
"Oh, yeah," he said with a chuckle that puzzled her. "I got a nasty phone call from him the next day."
"How do you think he knows? About Nathan and Haley, I mean."
"It's a small town," Keith said with a shrug. "Probably heard him from someone, who heard it from someone… But really, I'm impressed. You were guarding that door with your life, even though, you know, Nathan is not even there right now."
She blushed once more, and cursed at herself for doing so. "I just didn't want him to interrupt your workers," she mumbled, turning to the desk. She grabbed the sheet addressed to her mother. "I just need to get this signed, right?"
"Right," Keith said, his lips curled up as he was holding back a smile. "Come by anytime," he told her as she left the room, waving him goodbye.
Nathan had been listening to music in the next room and was surprised when she asked him if he had heard any loud noise while he was waiting for her.
"What are you talking about?" he asked her, turning his car engine on.
"Nothing," she said with a faint smile.
"Did something happen? Is that why you're all red?"
"I'm not red," she mumbled, her eyes shifting to the side.
"So… Does that mean you saw my brother?"
"No," she answered firmly.
Her house was empty when Nathan dropped her off; her mother had left her a note stating that she would be gone for the rest of the day, without giving her any details on what she was doing. Brooke frowned at that and put the note back on the fridge, wondering what was up with her mother. A boyfriend, maybe?
She shook her head and went upstairs to her bedroom. She slumped on her bed and stared at the ceiling for a while, feeling lost and insecure.
She knew how she felt about Lucas, but there was still this loud voice in her head saying, what if, what if… What if the only reason he was with her was because he couldn't get Peyton? What if he ended up regretting it his whole life? What if that was why she could travel?
What was that line that Haley had read to her some days ago? Ah, right. A real lover doesn't flee love's tests.
She sighed and moved to sit at her desk, grabbing the book that had been sitting there, untouched for days. She had less than three days to write her paper; she needed to get to it now.
She spent several hours, flipping the pages of Rumi's book, reading poem after poem. Haley had been right, more than half of those were about love, which didn't make it any easier for Brooke. Foreman had told them to find the ones they connected with, but so far, she wasn't connecting with any of─
Her eyes stopped on a poem titled 'The dog of ego'.
O heart, stay with the pain,
no groaning; endure longing without complaint.
Stamp your foot upon your own desires.
Train the dog of ego. Let this be your sacrifice.
Her eyes lingered on the third line. Her own desires.
What about them? If she were to ask Future Lucas about Peyton, and he did confirm her frights, then what would happen to her? She would be the one getting heartbroken. She wasn't sure she was ready for that. But at the same time, she hated the idea of him being miserable for the rest of his life… Well, maybe not miserable, but at least not as happy as he could be.
Stamp your foot upon your own desires.
She wasn't sure she was strong enough to do that. But then she remembered how earlier, she had instinctively made sure that Dan wouldn't run into Lucas. She hadn't cared how scary he was, she wouldn't have let him go through that door for anything in the world.
Her fingers moved mechanically, turning more pages, until they stopped on a page she hadn't read before. Her heart sank when she read the lines written there; it was everything she was afraid to do. She took a pen, her notebook, and started writing. She knew what she had to do.
She was resolute in her newfound decision to talk to Lucas, but before she could do that, she wanted─ no, she needed to talk to his future self. That was the least she could do for him. Because once the future was changed, then he would be gone. Their life together would vanish.
Unfortunately, as she had told Future Nathan, she couldn't control her travels. She had to patiently wait for the next one to come, and if Future Lucas wasn't there, she would have to find a way to get in touch with him. Write him a letter, maybe. It would make it easier for Brooke, as she wouldn't have to face him. Yes, actually, that did sound like a good plan. Cowardly, sure, but so much easier on her.
"Brooke?"
She turned her head to the left: Peyton was leaning against the next locker, eying her with worry. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," she said, closing her locker.
"You don't look fine," Peyton noted with a frown. "You're really pale."
She couldn't possibly tell her that she hadn't slept a notch all weekend. "I'm─" She fell quiet when she saw Lucas opening his locker a few feet from them. Nathan was talking to him and noticed her looking in their direction; she immediately turned away and swung her bag on her shoulder. "We're gonna be late."
They rushed to their classroom and were soon followed by Nathan and Lucas. Just like the day before, when they had come back from spring break, Lucas looked… different. He wasn't brooding like he had been the week before their vacation. He wasn't exactly light-hearted either; he was somewhere in between. His performance in basketball practice, the day before, had even gained him some praise from Whitey. Brooke wondered why his mood had suddenly changed. Could it be that… That he was done with her?
She felt a pang of emotion at that depressing thought, but then remembered her resolve. If he really was done with her, then it would only make the situation simpler for her.
The day went by slowly, as she kept thinking about his sudden change of demeanor. She didn't ask Haley about it at lunch, because she didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, but she couldn't help thinking that if Lucas really had moved on, then Haley would have definitely told her about it. Or maybe he hadn't told Haley; after all, he had never told her about Peyton.
She didn't run into him again until 5th period. Foreman made them sit down, and after asking them how their vacation had gone and if they had all written their papers on Rumi, he told them that he would gladly hear some of them.
The wave of protests he received seemed to entertain him. When a classmate pointed out to him that they were only supposed to write a paper, that he had never told them about reciting anything, Foreman retorted that he didn't think it would be that hard for eighteen-year-olds to read a few lines.
Foreman was a good-natured teacher, but he sometimes forgot what it was to have the mind of a teenager. He didn't seem to realize how awkward it would be for them to read out love poems and explain to the entire class why they had picked this one, or that one.
Although most of her classmates were in a state of panic, Brooke stayed unfazed. It wasn't the first time their teacher made some of them read their papers in front of the whole class, and she knew how he proceeded: he always picked the ones he knew were going to be well-written. Which meant that he would ask either Lucas, or Haley, or─
"Brooke? Would you care to read us what you think of Rumi's work?"
She froze. "Me?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "But, um, I'm sure it would be more interesting to─"
"Are you shrinking away?" he asked her with a chuckle. "That's not like you. Didn't you ask me how you would be able to connect with something that was written centuries ago? Well, I'm dying to know if you managed to do that."
Damn his good memory. Actually, no, damn her big mouth. Couldn't she have shut up for once?
She looked around her; all her classmates were turned toward her, waiting for her to speak, and that included Lucas. She shared a look with Haley, who gave her a faint, encouraging smile.
She took her paper in her hand. "Goodbyes are─"
"Stand up, Brooke, we can't hear you."
She did her best not to scowl at her teacher, but she did send a death stare to the few classmates around her who snickered when she slowly got up from her seat. She cleared her throat and read: "Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes." Her voice strangled on the last words, and she clenched her fist, slightly crumpling her paper.
It was one thing to pour out her heart on paper, but to read it in front of everyone, including the one person she had had in mind when writing this? She wasn't sure she could do this.
Well, she could, but she knew she would probably cry, and she didn't want to do that in front of them. In front of him.
"Brooke?" their teacher called worriedly. His enthusiasm had been brought down a notch. "Are you okay?"
She kept staring at the paper in her hand and nodded. She cleared her throat once more and started from the top: "Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes." She paused, taking a moment to stop her voice from quavering. She failed, though, as her voice trembled slightly when she kept reading. "Because for those who love with heart and soul," ─the lump was back in her throat─ "there is no such thing as…" She frowned, feeling something cold against the left side of her face, "Separation."
She still had a dozen lines to read, but she wasn't sure she could read them all. Not only because of her intense need to cry right now, but also because of the tingle that had just appeared in her feet and hands.
Shit, not now. It could not happen now.
She yelped when a loud ringing blasted her ears. She dropped her paper on the ground and immediately pressed her hand against her right ear, frustrated that she couldn't do the same with the left one. She shut her eyes tight, leaning forward as she started being dizzy.
She heard shuffling around her, then felt a hand clasping her waist and someone approaching her closely.
Lucas' voice rang in the ear she couldn't cover. "Brooke, what's wrong?"
Before she could say anything to him, her body went limp.
She wasn't standing anymore, she was lying down on the floor; for a minute there, she thought she had simply passed out, but the silence around her made her realize that she hadn't fainted at all.
She opened her eyes; her face was pressing against a tiled floor that she could see from up close. She sat up and looked around, quickly realizing that she was in a bathroom. When she stood up and saw the products sitting around the left sink, she knew that she was in her bathroom. Just not the one in Tree Hill. She stared at her reflection in the mirror and sighed in relief; she didn't think she could handle being pregnant twice in a row. She was wearing a simple, green-colored summer dress. Her hair was down to her shoulders and looked lighter than usual. She didn't look much older than she was now, and apart from her face being a bit thinner, she almost looked the same.
When she left that room and walked into a familiar corridor, she knew where she had landed. In fact, she had been there very recently. She went to the living room where Future Nathan had made her sit, then walked to the kitchen; no one was there. Maybe she was on her own, for once.
She needed to find her phone. She retraced her steps and startled when she heard noise coming from the end of the hallway; that door, if she remembered this right, led to her bedroom. She quietly made her way to it and pushed the door open.
Lucas was standing by the edge of the bed, one hand on his hip, the other scratching his head, and he was looking down at something. After walking in the room, she saw that it was a large suitcase. He pressed his elbow on top of it and struggled with the zipper, and when it only moved for a few inches, he let out a groan of frustration. He climbed on the bed, sat on the suitcase, his back still turned to her, and despite his numerous tries, failed to move the zipper. It wasn't surprising: there were so many clothes in there, that some looked like they were trying to escape from the luggage.
She cleared her throat, making him flinch. He spun around, still sitting on the suitcase, and for a moment there, she giggled at the view and managed to forget the painful resolution she had made about him.
"I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to make a choice."
His words, although she knew he was only talking about the contents of the suitcase, reminded her of what she needed to do.
She took a step back and crossed her arms against her chest. She was scared, and sad, and… Was that it? Was this the last time that she would see him, see them, like that? Once she went back to her own time, she would have to talk to Lucas and tell him that─
"Wow," she heard him say in a worried voice, "what's wrong?" He hurriedly jumped on the floor, stumbled for a few steps and reached her side. His hands pressed on her shoulders, making her look at him.
"We need to talk," she croaked.
"Er, okay," he answered, dismayed. He took her hand and led her to the bed, inviting her to sit with him. She let go of his hand and crossed her legs, unable to say a single word. "You know, it's not that bad. You'll just need to leave behind a couple of dresses, but I'm sure that─" He fell silent when he saw that her sullen face wasn't getting any better. "Sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood."
"I know."
"What's wrong?"
"I, um… I just traveled." He looked intrigued but stayed silent, inviting her to keep talking. "And I…" She avoided his stare and focused on his hands instead. One of them was brushing against her knee. "I'm gonna break up with you," she mumbled. She frowned, realizing that saying these words out loud did not sound natural at all.
His hands twitched and his body stiffened; she looked up at him and felt her heart sink when she saw the look on his face. This was not going to be easy. "Wh─ What?" he stuttered.
"I mean not now, but when I go back to─"
"Yeah, I got it," he cut her off impatiently. "What do you mean you're gonna break up? Why would you even… What happened? When are you from?"
She focused on his last question; that one was easy. "April 7th. We're back to school after spring break."
He frowned, trying to remember that time. "What day is it?"
"Tuesday. I was, er… I was reading my English paper."
His eyes widened. "The one on Rumi." He paused, then squinted, scratching his head with a thoughtful expression on his face. "But I don't get it… I remember that day clearly, and you never…" He shook his head. "That's not supposed to happen! You never broke up with me!"
"I know," she said with a quiet sigh. She was struggling to look him in the eye. "But I'm still gonna do it."
"But why?" he asked, unnerved. "You… You don't want to be with me?"
Her eyes swiftly met his, and her mouth turned into a frown. She clenched her fists, digging her nails into her skin, and tried fighting back her tears. She knew she had failed when her vision started blurring. "I do," she admitted in a murmur, "but… I think I shouldn't."
His shoulders relaxed a bit and he tilted his head to the side, "What do you mean, you shouldn't?"
"It's just that…" The words got stuck in her throat. Once she would say it, it would be too late to take it back, right?
"Brooke," he said, lifting her chin with a finger, "talk to me."
"Well, there has to be a reason why I can travel, right?"
"Um, yeah, but─"
"And I know, I just know that it's about Peyton." He stiffened at that. So, she was right. "I've thought about this for days now, and no matter how hard I do, there's only one explanation that comes up." The only reason why she could stop being in touch with Peyton, while everyone else was still part of her life, was sitting right in front of her.
"What does breaking up with me have to do with that?"
"Well… That way, you'll be free."
He was still dazed. "Free to do what?"
"To be with her," she croaked.
"With who?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Peyton?!"
Either he was really good at faking surprise, or he was truly dumbfounded by what she was saying. Could it be that… that she had gotten it all wrong? But no, then how could she explain that Peyton was─
"I don't get it… How do you go from Peyton being out of your life, to having to break up with me?"
"Well, yeah, isn't that why she's not in our lives? Because y─you regret how things ended with her, and, um…" Her voice lowered when she noticed a switch in his eyes. "And that's why I can travel. To change it. So that you can, er…" She didn't finish her sentence, because Lucas was now starting to look angry. "Um, Luke?"
He closed his eyes, pinching the space between his eyebrows. "So that's why you stopped speaking to me back then?"
"Y─ You didn't know?"
His eyes snapped open, startling her. "That it was because of your travels? No," he said with an accusing stare, "I guess someone never told me the whole truth. Until now." He let out a long sigh, his body trembling as he chuckled. "Seriously, if I had known back then…" He rolled his eyes and shook his head at her. "Brooke, that is the dumbest thing you've ever said."
Her mouth fell open. "I─ I'm not─"
"That's not why Peyton is not in our lives, alright?"
She blinked at him in confusion. "It… It's not?"
"No, it's not." But then, what else could it be? "You already found out why," he said, reading her thoughts, "but I guess that hasn't happened to you yet."
She didn't get it. She had thought about this through and through. She had been so sure of herself.
All that didn't matter, though. Even if she couldn't understand what was going on with Peyton, she knew for a fact that the boy in front of her was telling her the truth. Which meant that…
"So…" she murmured, looking down at her trembling hands. "You're saying that I've been wrong this whole time? That I don't have to…"
She felt a quiver run through her body when he touched her hand. "Break up with me?" he asked softly. "No, you don't have to do that. Not unless you want to."
She glanced up at him, a warm feeling appearing in her chest when she saw that he didn't look cautious, or scared, but rather… confident. "I don't want to," she choked up.
He laughed and kissed her forehead. "I know that, Pretty girl." His arms went around her waist and brought her to his chest. She finally managed to relax in his arms and put her head on his shoulder.
"You're right," she said hesitantly.
"About what?" he mumbled against her hair.
"I feel really dumb right now."
How could she have been this wrong? She still didn't understand what that implied about Peyton and her future, but for now, she decided that it wouldn't matter. She had never felt this relieved in her life.
"So, you were ready to end things because you thought that would make me happier?" He chuckled and said, "I don't know if I should kiss you or yell at you right now."
She blushed, pulled back and stared at him. "But it did make sense to me. It really did. But I guess that's because…" She hesitated. There was a reason why she had convinced herself that she had figured out the truth. "Because I feel insecure. Kinda. And I think I let that cloud my judgement."
He tilted his head. "Insecure about what?"
"About all this. The travelling craziness, the future, the present, and… You know, when I heard that you had been with Peyton, I─"
"Stop," he interrupted her softly. "You don't have to tell me."
She frowned. "But I─"
He smiled at her. "No, I mean that I already know what you're gonna say. This part I actually know, you've told me a long time ago. I'm not the one you should tell this to right now."
She sighed and averted her gaze. "I'm not sure I can do that," she murmured.
He gently knocked her forehead with his. "It doesn't matter what year we're in, Brooke. You can always talk to me. Got it?"
Her cheeks took a deep crimson color. "Got it." She moved her head back and threw a curious glance at the suitcase. "So, erm," she said, clearing her throat, "where are we going?"
He followed her gaze and threw a glance over his shoulder. "Paris."
"Oh!" she cried in amazement. "I'd love to go there!"
He grinned. "You will." He stood up and opened the suitcase. "But only if we can solve this problem."
She got on her knees and peered into the suitcase. "Isn't this all my stuff?"
"Not all of it, no. I'd say 10% of this is mine," he said with a smirk. "See the problem now?" He rummaged through it and dug out several pairs of shoes that obviously belonged to her. "Do you really need four different pairs?"
"That's like travel 101," she retorted, rolling her eyes. "A pair of flat sandals for casual days, a pair of sneakers in case there's a lot of walking to do, a pair of heels because you better be planning to take me out for dinner," ─she smiled when he laughed at that─ "and an extra pair of shoes in case one of them gets damaged." Her eyes stopped on what had been crumpled below her shoes. "And what do we have here? I'm guessing that's not mine," she said, taking the three novels in her hands. "Do you really need three different books?" she asked, mimicking his earlier tone.
"Fine," he said with a sly look, "how about you pick three pairs of shoes and I take two books?"
She giggled and handed him the books. "Deal."
He sighed and looked torn at the idea of letting one behind him. While he was busy picking out a book, she asked him what day it was.
"August 2nd, 2024," he answered absent-mindedly.
He eventually made his choice and handed her the one he would sacrifice. She scanned the room until her eyes landed on a book shelf on the opposite wall. She jumped off the bed and stood tiptoe to reach the shelf. She was about to put down the book when she noticed the one sitting at the left end, or rather, when she caught a glimpse of the author's name.
"Holy─" she gasped, grabbing that one and letting the other one fall to the floor. "Is that your book?!"
She turned to him and saw that he was blinking at her, his hands still busy with her clothes. "I, er… Yeah."
"Lucas, this is… This is amazing!" She turned it in her hands, but before she could read the title, he jumped on her and snatched it away from her. "Hey! Why can't I see it?!"
He swiftly hid it behind his back, stepping away as she was walking closer to him. "You've already seen enough."
"Oh, come on," Her face lit up, "Is it the one you're writing right now? I mean, in my time?" He hesitated, but eventually smiled and nodded. "You got it published! That's… wow. When does that happen?"
"I can't tell you that." He laughed at her pout. "But I think I can say that it was, um, quite the bumpy ride."
"What do you mean?"
"I got a lot of noes before I got a yes," he said with a shrug. "And I had to rewrite a lot of stuff too." He furrowed his brow. "But you can't ever tell me that. Actually, don't tell anyone, not even Haley or Mouth."
"But they already know you're a writer. It was only a guess so far, but─"
"I mean it, Brooke, don't tell anyone. And don't tell me anything, even if I get mad at you."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Why not?"
"It's just best if I do this all on my own."
"But you will get mad at me?" she asked warily.
He gave her a reassuring smile. "Only for a short while. And then I'll come back to my senses."
"Fine," she sighed and lifted her right hand. "I won't tell anything to anyone, I swear."
She slowly took another step, which made him stiffen and point at her. "Don't come any closer."
"Why not?" she asked innocently. "I just want to congratulate you."
"No," he said, stepping back into the hallway. "You just want to see the book."
She struggled not to laugh. "That's not true. I─" She frowned and looked down at her right hand; someone was squeezing it, yet there was nothing there. Soon enough, the tingle started and she looked up at Lucas. "I'm going back."
"Ha! I'm not falling for that!"
"No really, I'm─ Argh!" she winced when the buzzing overcame her. She heard him rushing towards her and felt his hands around her face.
"What's wrong?"
"It's just…" She struggled to get the words out. "It's getting worse," she said covering her ears with her hands. It was useless, though, because the sound was coming from inside her. She groaned and buried her head in his chest, waiting for the drowsiness to kick in. It didn't take long, and after only a few seconds, she was out.
Her eyes snapped open; she felt lost at first, since she couldn't feel Lucas' hands around her, but then she remembered what had just happened. She turned her head and was surprised to see half of her classmates towering over her.
"Give her some space!" their teacher said, gesturing at her classmates to move back. He was kneeling on her left side and looked pale as a ghost. "How are you doing, Brooke?"
"Good," she said with a faint smile. "Sorry," she said as she sat up, "I didn't mean to scare you."
His brow furrowed and he whispered, "Was it because I made you read─"
"No, absolutely not."
Foreman let out a long sigh and relaxed his shoulders. "Thank god Lucas was there to catch you", he said, motioning to her right with his head. She turned to see that, along with Haley, he was kneeling to her right. When their eyes locked, he let go of her hand and shifted uncomfortably. "Can you stand up?" their teacher asked, catching her attention.
"Sure."
She slowly did, imitated by the three people who were surrounding her and still cautiously watching her─ well, except for Haley, who gave her a knowing look.
Foreman seemed relieved to see her standing straight on her feet. "Now go see the nurse."
"Wh─ No, that's not necessary, I'm─"
"That's not up for discussion, Brooke." He turned to Lucas and told him, "You don't mind taking her to the nurse, right?"
He was fast to answer. "Not at all."
She reluctantly, and under all of her classmates' stares, followed Lucas out of the room. He walked two steps ahead of her, occasionally glancing in her direction to make sure that she was still up and breathing; thankfully, the nurse office was just around the corner.
He knocked on the door and when he got no answer, ventured a peek inside the room. "She's not here," he said with an annoyed frown. "Let's wait inside."
It was a cozy, rectangular room, with a desk and a computer, a couple of chairs to sit on and an examination table at the other end. The last time she had been here was a year ago, when she had sprained her ankle during cheerleading practice. Brooke's eyes fell on the chairs and on the boxes sitting there, then travelled to the table. She sat on the table, while Lucas was leaning against the nearest wall, to her left.
"You can go, you know," she told him in a quiet voice.
"It's okay," he said with a shrug, "I'll wait with you."
He wasn't looking at her. Why wasn't he looking at her? And he seemed different from earlier… He was back to his brooding self.
She didn't know what that meant, but she did know that she had some explaining to do. She had been so relieved to know that she had been wrong, but now she was afraid that she had waited too long to talk to him. What if he didn't want to hear her out? What if he had grown tired of her lunatic behavior?
No, that couldn't be. Her future hadn't changed, she had just seen him living with her in 2024, which meant that he still wanted to be with her.
She had already wasted enough time. She cleared her throat, making him look up at her in surprise. "Um, Luke, there's something I─"
They both startled when the door opened and the nurse walked in. Lucas immediately explained what had happened earlier; the school nurse then asked him to go back to his classroom. He threw a brief, sidelong glance at Brooke, and eventually exited the room.
Although Brooke kept telling her that she was fine, that this kind of thing often happened to her, the nurse didn't let her go for the rest of the period. She did manage to get out of a phone call to her mother, after she lied to the nurse telling her that she had fainted because she hadn't eaten at lunch.
When she was finally free to go, she walked into a corridor full of students. Haley was waiting for her next to the door, carrying both of their bags.
"Thanks," Brooke said as she took hers and swung it on her shoulder. They walked down the corridor, struggling to walk through the crowd.
"Lucas said… He, erm, asked me to look after you."
"I see." She noticed that many of the students walking past them were staring at her. "Do you think the whole school knows that I fainted?"
Haley sighed and linked their arms together. "Probably, yeah."
"Brooke!" a male voice called from behind them. They both spun around and saw Nathan jogging towards them. "Are you okay?" he asked once he was standing in from of them. She shared a look with Haley: yes, everyone did know about her fainting.
"Yeah, don't worry, that was nothing," she told him with a smile.
"Alright, but you have to stop─" He paused when his phone buzzed in his front pocket. He swiftly took it out and turned it off.
"Why aren't you taking it?"
"It's Dan," he said, rolling his eyes. He walked down the corridor with them, sliding an arm around Haley's waist. "He doesn't accept the fact that I told him I was done with him."
Her head jerked up. "What? When did that happen?"
"He called me two days ago."
"And what did he say?"
"You know, the usual crap. Plus some" ─he threw a quick glance to Haley─ "very unpleasant things."
"He said Nathan was making the biggest mistake of his life," Haley murmured with a frown.
Brooke snorted. "So, it's even worse than his usual crap."
"He did say something interesting though. Apparently, he came by the shop when we were there…" He smirked when he saw her stiffen. "He said something about you snapping at him to make sure that he couldn't meet me in the workshop. Except, I wasn't there, right? So why did you snap at him, huh?"
"Shut up," she muttered with a slight blush. "Haley, can we talk without your annoying boyfriend?"
"Sure!" Haley eagerly said, laughing at Nathan's shocked face.
She grabbed Haley's arm and swiftly walked to the nearest girls' room. After making sure that no one was there, she turned to her, but before she could say anything, Haley beat her to it. "When did you travel to?"
"2024," she said with a grin. "I was in the Brooklyn apartment. I, er… I talked to Lucas. Future Lucas."
Haley leaned against the sink and tilted her head to the side. "And?"
"And he kinda made me see that I was probably─ I mean, definitely, wrong about my theory."
"Which one?"
"You know, the one with him, Peyton and the future…"
Haley's mouth fell open. She blinked, then stretched her lips into a broad grin. "Finally. And then what happened?"
She was about to tell her about Lucas' novel but remembered the promise she had made. "Nothing much," she said with a shrug. "We just talked some more and then I came back here."
She knew from Haley's dubious look that she wasn't fooled by her, but her friend didn't comment on that and instead said, "Well, in case you were wondering, Lucas isn't working shifts tonight. If anyone wanted to go talk to him, they could easily find him at his house."
"Noted," Brooke said with a chuckle.
She knew she had waited long enough; when school ended that day, she asked Peyton to drop her off at her house. Her best friend had also heard of her fainting, and worriedly scanned her face when they met by her car. At first, Peyton refused to let her stay on her own, and told her that she would wait with her until Victoria came home, but after Brooke spent the entire ride convincing her that she really was fine, she caved in.
After waving her goodbye, she rushed upstairs, dropped her backpack, quickly fixed her hair, and ran back downstairs. She was about to leave her house when she suddenly remembered a very important detail.
The chapter. The one he had written and left at her doorstep for her to read.
Only she hadn't done that, she had thrown it away.
How dumb and insensitive could she get? He had probably spent hours and hours writing that, and she had gotten rid of it. Not without a second thought, sure, but still, she had gotten rid of it.
If he didn't hate her by now, he was surely about to.
When her mother came home, she was surprised to see Brooke lying on the couch, hugging a cushion, and with an even more sullen face than in the past days.
"Alright, what happened?" she asked, sitting on the coffee table to face her.
"Nothing," Brooke grumbled with a frown.
Victoria sighed, and was about to say something but changed her mind. Instead, she opened her handbag and took out a stack of paper.
"What's that?" Brooke asked, taking the papers in her hand. "Why do you have an application file for the state university?" Had her mother forgotten that she had been accepted to NYU?
"It's not for you," Victoria said nervously. "It's for me."
Brooke slowly sat up and stared at her mother, stunned by her news. "For you? You're going back to school?"
"It's only a short business course, but… Yeah, essentially, I would be going back to school. There was an open house last week and, well, I've been thinking about this ever since the wedding."
"Really?"
"I enjoyed planning everything," she said, her face lighting up. "I think I could keep doing this. I mean, for a living. You'll be gone in a few months, which means your father won't have to pay for your pension anymore. I need an income."
Brooke furrowed her brow. "I hadn't thought about that… How long have you been thinking about this?"
"A while," her mother shrugged.
She folded her knees on the couch and gave her back the papers. "I had no idea that was bothering you."
"I wouldn't say it bothered me, but…" Victoria came to sit next to her. "Let's just say that when it comes to keeping your problems to yourself, you probably got that from me."
They both chuckled. "I guess, yeah…" She looked up at her mother and let out a sigh. "Okay, do you remember that envelope you found at the door?"
"Yes."
"It was from Lucas."
"I had guessed that much."
"And it's, um… He hasn't told anyone about this, just me, but he's been writing a book. Like, a real one. And I've been reading his chapters one by one."
"So… That was another chapter?"
"Yeah," Brooke said sullenly. "But I was too proud to read it back then and now, it's too late."
Victoria tilted her head. "What do you mean, it's too late?"
"Because I told you that you could throw it away, remember?"
"I know you said that, but…" She stood up, walked behind the couch and opened the cabinet where she usually kept her letters. She turned back to her, holding out the brown envelope they had been talking about. "I thought I could keep it, just in case you─ Brooke!" Brooke jumped up, ignored her mother's reprimanding look, climbed over the couch and snatched the envelope from her. "Your shoulder, Brooke, can't you be a little─"
"You've kept it!" she shouted, pulling her mother into a tight hug. "You're the best, Mom!"
"Alright, alright," Victoria said with a chuckle, "but will you please be careful about your shoulder?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever," she said, staring at the envelope as she pulled back. "I, er…"
"Well, since you probably have some reading to do, I'll go fill in my form."
"Thanks, Mom," she told her with a grin as she left her alone.
Brooke sat back on the couch and took out the chapter. She started reading it, but once again, stopped before she had reached the end of the first paragraph.
Not that she didn't want to read it, no, but she knew that whatever was written there was exactly what Lucas wanted to tell her. And since she had decided to go talk to him, she might as well hear it from his mouth.
It took her about twenty minutes to reach his doorstep. She knocked on his door, but when she got no answer, realized that he had probably gone out. She sighed, and sat on the steps, the chapter carefully placed on her lap. The weather was getting warmer, but it was also getting late, and she didn't want to freeze to death.
Thankfully, she didn't have to wait very long; after about half an hour, she saw his car pulling over. He looked deep in thought, and didn't notice her until he was a couple of meters in front of her. He froze when he saw her sitting there, and didn't dare to move until she patted the spot next to her.
"Hi," she said with a shy smile.
He was still stunned to see her there, but eventually broke out of his reverie and frowned. "How long have you been waiting here?"
"Not that long."
"If I knew you were coming, I wouldn't have been to the Café… Wait, is that why Haley kept telling me to go home?"
"Probably, yeah."
"Are you feeling better?" he asked nervously.
She knew he wasn't just asking about her public passing out. "Yeah."
He tilted his head and motioned to her sling. "How long do you have to keep it?"
"Till the end of the week."
They both fell silent, and Brooke held back a smile: she had really missed these simple moments. She shifted to turn to him, making him take a look at her lap. His eyes grew wide with surprise. "Did you read it?"
"No." His face fell, prompting her to add: "I was going to, but I thought I could just hear it from you."
Relief crossed his face "I see. When I didn't get any news from you, I figured you had burnt it away or something."
"Nah," she said with a chuckle, "I just threw it away. My mom got it back for me."
"Then I guess I'm gonna have to thank her? I mean, if…" He fell quiet, looking unsure of what to say next, but she had a hunch on what he wanted to ask her.
"I should have listened to you sooner," she confessed, lowering her gaze, "but I guess I was just too proud to admit that, um, that I'm not really angry that you didn't tell me about Peyton."
He looked like he was at a loss for words. "Y─ You're not?"
"I was, but just for a bit. And then I wasn't."
"Then why didn't you talk to me?"
So far, he didn't look annoyed by what she was telling him. Good. "For a bunch of reasons," she said, thinking of the theory that his future-self had debunked in less than a minute, "but mainly because I'm insecure."
She saw his hand shift, as if he wanted to grab hers, but it stopped before it could touch her. She sent him a quizzical look, but he ignored it. "About what?" he asked her bemusedly. He gave it a thought, and exclaimed, his eyes almost popping out of their sockets, "About Peyton?!"
"Come on", she said, rolling her eyes, "it's not that surprising."
"It is!" he retorted. "Brooke, that happened ages ago."
"Not ages ago. We're in high school, so it's like it was yesterday."
"Then when did we start dating? An hour ago?"
She held back a smile. "You know what I mean." He opened his mouth, but she lifted her hand, "Just let me say this, because it's really hard for me. I… When I heard about you and Peyton, I was angry at first, that you didn't tell me, but then I was… Confused. I didn't know how to feel about that." She clenched her fist and instinctively shifted back. "And then…" She paused, wondering if she could say this out loud to him. "And then I figured that it explained why you took an interest in me." He was about to protest but she shut him up with a pleading look. "I figured that you couldn't get Peyton, so you went for, well, second best. Please," she said with a sigh when he opened his mouth, "just let me say this. I'm… I'm terrified of this, Luke." She shifted her eyes to the ground, her cheeks now burning up. "I'm scared of what we have, and what we wil─ could have, and of the fact that you're the only one who makes me feel this way. That's a lot for me." She frowned. "And I feel like for the past few months, I've actually laid my heart bare for you, and when I heard about you and Peyton, I thought, oh, okay, so I did all that for that result. To get my heart trampled on. And then I kept dwelling on it at night…" She swallowed back her pride, looked up at him, and drew a deep breath. "What if he still wants to be with her. And what if he wants to be with her more than he wants to be with me. What if he doesn't want to be with me at all, but he's just fooling himself to think that he does because he couldn't get the girl that he's in love with, and if she loves him back, then they'll get together and have perfect blonde-haired kids and drive off in the sunset." She stopped rambling and fiddled with her jacket. "Someone helped me get a clear picture though, and I realize that I haven't been fair to you because I didn't tell you about my feelings. So, there they are. You, er," she said when he stayed silent, "you can speak now."
At first, Brooke thought that he was going to stay silent forever, but after a while, he managed to say something. "I'm not in love with Peyton."
"But you were."
"So?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, fine, I get that it can make you uncomfortable, but you've been with other guys before, you've been in─" She blushed and slowly shook her head. "Oh," he blurted, "I see. But, um, still, that was a long time ago. And I didn't really know her back then. We─" He fell quiet and seemed to hesitate on how far he could talk about this.
"It's okay, Peyton told me about your arrangement."
His shoulders relaxed. "We would only meet for sex," he said in a low voice. She could see that he was embarrassed to talk about this, but he continued, "Peyton would basically vanish right after, and we… We barely talked to each other." He sighed and gave her a faint smile. "And then I met you. And I got to know you, and… I should have told you about Peyton, but I didn't, and I can't change that now. But I need you to trust me when I say that you're the only one I want to be with, Brooke."
Her heart fluttered. "But what if─"
"No," he said in a firm voice that startled her. "No more what ifs, alright?" He frowned and suddenly remembered something as he grabbed his backpack and rummaged through it. He took out his copy of Rumi's book and handed it to her. "Take a look at this."
"I have one, you know," she said, taking it in her hand.
He chuckled and shook his head at her. "Look at the pages with the folded corners."
She opened the book to the first marked page and read it silently.
You name is upon my lips,
your image is in my eye,
the memory of you is in my heart.
Where then should I write?
She blushed and felt her heart quickening its pace. "That's what I connected to. And just to be clear, I wrote my paper on you," Lucas said with a teasing voice. "Now go to the second one."
"I think I got it," she said sheepishly.
"Second one."
She flipped the pages until she landed on the second poem he had selected.
The real beloved is that one who is unique,
who is your beginning and you end.
When you find that one,
you'll no longer want anything else.
Her eyes lingered on the last sentence, until he slowly shut the book close, making her look back at him.
"I don't think I could have put it in better words than that," he murmured with a crooked smile. "So," he put away the book, "where do we go now?"
She glanced over her shoulder. "We could get inside."
"No, I mean─"
"I know what you mean," she said with a soft smile. She stood up and walked to his door. "But I'm starting to get cold."
He hurried to his feet and unlocked the door, letting her walk in first. She took off her jacket and turned around; he was staring at her, kicking his shoes off.
"So, um, apart from Peyton, you've never been with one my friends?"
His eyebrows twitched. "No." He grabbed her jacket, walked around the bed, and hung it on the rack next to his own coat.
"Not even with Haley?"
"What?! No, are you─" He spun around; the look of horror on his face vanished when he saw that she was grinning at him. "That's not funny," he said, his lips curling up.
She stifled her laughter. "I was just making sure."
He rolled his eyes and leaned against the closet door, keeping a decent distance from her. He hadn't touched her once since she had gotten here, and she knew that he was only waiting for her green light.
She walked around the bed to face him; he didn't move an inch, but was staring intently at her. His eyes were smiling and kept darting from her eyes to her lips. She cupped his face with her only free hand and tiptoed to give him a soft kiss.
As soon as he felt her lips on his, he moved his hands to the small of her back. Her right hand slid into his hair, tugging it gently, and she tilted her head to deepen their kiss, smiling when she heard him groan.
They were both panting when she pulled back, their foreheads still touching. "I missed you," she whispered, pecking his lips.
He let out a satisfied sigh and moved his head down to her neck, tickling her with his warm breath. She stretched out her neck, giving him more access to her skin, and while he was busy nibbling, she noticed a framed picture on his nightstand, right next to the rabbit lamp.
"That's new," she said with a fond smile.
"Mmh?"
"The, um, the wedding picture."
He looked up and followed her gaze to the picture of them, dancing in the Café, their lips stretched into broad grins. "Yeah," he said, going back to her neck.
"Was that before or after Whitey did the Pulp Fiction dance?"
He laughed against her skin. "Before."
"You framed it," she mused.
"I know."
"But… You weren't mad at me at all?" He pulled back and sent her a quizzical look. "I mean, I ignored you for days."
"I knew you'd be ready to talk," he said with a shrug. "I got worried earlier in class when I heard the poem you picked, but, um… I kept faith."
"How? Why?"
"Haley kept telling me that you just needed some time, and then Keith said two things about the day you came to the shop."
"What things?"
"Something about you guarding a door from Dan. He said it probably had something to do with me, is that true?"
"Well…" She shifted on her foot. "I know how he makes you feel, and I didn't want you to be even more upset because of him, I mean we were already─"
He silenced her with a heated, passionate kiss; she let out a squeak and soon enough, felt her knees weaken. She slid her arm around him, clinging onto his neck, and felt his grip tighten around her.
"Brooke," he whispered, catching his breath, his eyes shut, "I l─"
"I love you," she blurted out.
His eyes grew wide and he took a step back to properly look at her. He chuckled softly and beamed at her. "I love you too."
About an hour later, she was sitting on the bed, her legs stretched out, her back resting against the pillows. She was almost done reading it, and couldn't help thinking that if she had read this the minute she had received it, than this whole ordeal would have been much shorter.
This chapter was, to put it simply, a love letter to… well, love, and indirectly, to herself. It was about Peyton's counterpart in his story, and how he had fallen for her, only to be disappointed, and to end up blaming himself for letting his feelings run amok when he didn't even know her very well. It explained why he had become wary of trusting someone again, until he had met her, but even then, he had wanted to be sure of his feelings and to know her before trying anything with her. At first, he hadn't even thought that she would be into him, but it was too late to stop, because he had already been deeply in love with her.
"Hey, Luke?" she mused, putting the chapter down.
"Mmh?"
He hadn't moved an inch since she had started reading; she looked down to see that his head was still resting against her stomach, and his arms linked around her.
"What's the other thing Keith said to you?"
"Huh?" he asked, puzzled.
"You said Keith said two things to you."
"Oh, right." He propped himself on an elbow and gave her a cheeky grin. "That you still have a picture of us as your screensaver. That was kind of a big hint."
"I see," she mumbled, blushing. "Why didn't you come talk to me, then?"
"Because you said you weren't ready to." She smiled and squirmed down on the bed to be on his eye-level. She was about to kiss him when he said, "Although, I have to say, I don't see why it took you so long. I mean, I get that you were scared, but…"
"Well, um…" She looked away and thought about how much she could say to him. "There's some other stuff that made me confused about all this."
"What other stuff?" he asked, intrigued by her reaction.
"I… I can't say for now," she said with an apologetic look. "Not because I don't want to, but, um… I don't think it's time."
"That's very cryptic. And you said someone helped you get a clear picture, can you say who that is?"
"No," she said sheepishly. "Not yet. But I promise I'll tell you one day." His eyes shifted from her and he seemed lost in his thoughts for a moment. "Luke?"
He stared back at her. "How about your habit of passing out, is that really a low blood pressure thing?"
"I, er… Not really, no," she admitted with a frown. "But I can't─"
"You can't tell me yet, got it," he said, narrowing his eyes on her. "You're full of mysteries, you know that?"
"And that doesn't annoy you?" she asked back.
"No," he answered with a chuckle. "It's just too bad, I really want to thank the one who got through that thick skull of yours," he said, gently bumping her forehead with his.
She gradually managed to forget about the fact that she still didn't know why she could travel, or how that connected to Peyton. She had decided to stop overthinking and just go with the flow. Being with Lucas helped her with that, and for the next ten days, she lived in a sweet bubble of bliss.
Things got even better when she was finally allowed to take her sling off and when her physicist told her that she wouldn't need a lot of therapy to get her shoulder back to normal. It was still a bit sore, but she could use it for most of her everyday activities… and then some other ones.
That Friday evening, they had hurried to her house, knowing that Victoria would be out for the night. But now, Brooke had to kick Lucas out, because she was expecting some company.
"Come on," she said, picking up her underwear from her bedroom floor. "You have to get moving." She heard him grunt and turned around; he was lying on his stomach, stark naked, his head turned away from her. She quickly put on her bra and panties, and walked to the bed, shaking his shoulder. "I mean it, Luke."
He flipped on his back and grabbed her arm. "I don't know," he said, sitting up, "I think I'd rather stay here."
She sighed and picked up her t-shirt. "You can't─ Hey!" she complained when he snatched it from her. He gave her a sly look and threw it behind him; Brooke watched as it landed on the other edge of her bed. Before she could even think of getting it back, he pulled on her wrist and locked her in his arms.
"I don't see why I can't stay."
She rolled her eyes at him. "Because it's movie night."
"So?" he asked, making her straddle him.
"So, it's just Nathan, Peyton and" ─she let out a moan when he nibbled her earlobe─ "and me. Y─ You can't be here."
His mouth went down to her neck, planting wet kisses on her collarbone. "I got invited once."
She closed her eyes, trying not to focus on his fingers running along her skin. "Only because your brother was plotting against us. I mean, for us. What are you doing?" she whined when he started playing with her panties. "Lucas," she groaned, cupping his face with both hands.
Great, now he was giving her the puppy eyes. "So, you don't want me to stay then," he said with a dramatic sigh. She couldn't help but giggle, which made him smile. "Why can't I just stay here? In your room?" He brushed her lips with his thumb. "I'll hide here, you can go watch your movie downstairs and when you're done, just kick them out and come back here."
He caught her lips in a hypnotizing kiss. "That, um," she said in a ragged voice, her eyes still closed, "that's a tempting idea. But it…" She was having trouble thinking straight now, because it almost felt like Lucas had two mouths and four hands. "It goes against the rules of movie night."
"They don't have to know. It will be our secret," he murmured into her ear. She closed her eyes, wondering how she could feel his lips on her back, but quickly brushed it aside.
"That, um…" Her resolve crumbled down completely. "Sounds good," she breathed out.
He flipped her on her back and swiftly removed her bra. His mouth left her neck and started going down, to her stomach, and further down…
And yet she could swear he was also kissing her neck.
Her eyes snapped open. "Lucas."
He froze instantly when he heard the alarm in her voice. He sat up and looked down at her. "What's wrong?"
She patted her neck; yes, she could definitely feel somebody's lips on it. Not just anybody, she could swear it was Lucas kissing her. Except he wasn't, he was staring at her with a worried frown.
"Brooke?" he bent over her, bringing his face closer to hers. "Hey, did I hurt your shoulder?"
"N─ No." The tingle was spreading fast in her limbs. She swiftly sat up, startling him. "I need a─", she flinched when she heard the buzzing in her ears, but kept talking nonetheless, "water."
"Water?" he repeated, raising his eyebrows.
He didn't look like he was about to leave her alone anytime soon. "Yeah, just, er, need some water. Please."
He frowned. "I'll be right back," he said, kissing her temple before dashing off.
The moment he opened the door, her eyelids became heavy and shut tight.
Her eyes fluttered open. She was now lying on the floor. Her back was moving in rhythm with someone's breathing, and she could feel a pair of arms wrapped around her. She glanced over her shoulder and saw that Lucas was sleeping. She looked down and saw that they weren't directly on the floor, but rather on a messy pile of blankets and cushions. She slowly moved his arms, only for him to pull her back to him.
"Stay," he mumbled against her ear.
"I'll be right back," she whispered before wriggling out of his grasp.
She sat up and shivered, but before she could find something to wear, she realized that something was off. There was a bed next to them, but no mattress on it. She scanned the room: there was no furniture, the mattress was lying against a wall, covered by plastic film and there were carboard boxes all over the place. She slowly stood up, walked to the only box that had been opened, and put on the first thing that her hands fell upon─ one of Lucas' t-shirts.
She quietly left the room and made her way to the living room: there she saw the couch, an armchair, and another dozen of boxes; half of them had been opened. She found her phone on the couch and checked the date: July 13th 2023.
It looked like they had just moved in the Brooklyn apartment.
She walked back to the hallway, but instead of going straight to the bedroom, stopped by the first door on her left. If she was right, this was her study.
Bingo. It was hard to recognize without all the furniture and without the huge board, but she knew that was it. The floor was littered with boxes labelled 'Clothes over bros'. She kneeled next to a pile of boxes and opened the nearest one.
It was full of complicated papers and forms she didn't understand. She sighed and moved it away; she was about to snoop into another box when her eyes landed on a much smaller one, the size of a shoe box, and was intrigued that it hadn't been labelled. She crawled to it and ripped the tape off before peeking inside.
She was confused at what she was looking at: it was a bunch of different objects all mixed together. A t-shirt from Tric, one that she had sewn herself during her Christmas vacation; a pile of pictures from her past, all distant memories of her childhood; tickets from concerts she had never been to; drawings she had always seen pinned on Peyton's bedroom walls; a bracelet.
She froze for a moment and mechanically reached out for the jewelry. It was Ellie's bracelet.
She went back to the pictures and realized that they weren't about her childhood─ they were Peyton's. And so were the concert tickets, and the drawings.
What was she doing with all of Peyton's stuff? What was this box doing with her?
Her eyes stopped on the nameless box. She knew why it hadn't been labelled: it didn't belong in any specific room. It was a memory box.
She remembered her mother telling her that their bond was so strong, there was no way they could grow apart. That's not the kind of bond that could ever disappear.
Her mother was right, yet there was no sign of Peyton in her future, nothing further than high school.
She remembered Future Mouth close to tears as she was travelling back to her time, and how he didn't agree with Future Haley on what to say to her. And that terrible, terrible feeling she had whenever she thought of all this.
There was another explanation for Peyton's absence, but it was one she had refused to acknowledge so far.
"There you are," Lucas' groggy voice said from behind her. She heard him come closer to her and sit next to her. He glanced at the box and turned to her, putting a hand on the small of her back. "Are you okay?" he asked softly. She turned to him, her lips quivering, her fists clenched tightly. He sighed. "I miss her too," he whispered in a sad voice.
She wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come no matter how hard she tried to speak, as if someone else was controlling her body. She felt numb.
She hadn't traveled to the future. She had simply fallen asleep. Yes, asleep, she was just having a nightmare.
Just a nightmare.
Just a─
She looked down at her hand and opened it, revealing Ellie's bracelet. It was there, it was real.
She wasn't asleep.
"She's dead," she murmured, staring at Lucas. "She's dead?" She asked, her voice hardening and quavering at the same time. He gave her a panicked look and reached out for her shoulder, but she jerked his hand away. She was shouting now. "She's dead?"
He sighed. "Yes. I'm sorry, I know I didn't─"
"You should have told me right away!" she yelled, pushing him back when he approached her.
"I know," he said with a pained expression, "but I couldn't… I wasn't supposed to."
None of this was making any sense. "How could you not tell me?" she snapped, punching his chest with full force.
"Just wait a─"
"No!" she kept hitting him, but it didn't seem to affect him. He wasn't even trying to stop her. "How could you? How─"
She hadn't even noticed the tingle that had appeared in her hands and feet; she realized she was travelling back when the buzzing rang in her ears. She groaned, struggling to utter a single word; she couldn't leave now, not already… She had to know what had happened to Peyton. She had to ask─
Her eyes snapped open. She jerked up in her bed, gasping for air.
"Brooke," Lucas said, his voice covered by her ragged breathing. "Hey, what's wrong, what─"
She pressed a hand against her mouth, trying in vain to muffle her sobs. When Lucas shifted to her side, she buried her head in his chest. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and there was no stopping them.
"It's okay," she heard him whisper in her ear, stroking her hair. "I'm here. You're okay. Brooke, what happened?"
She didn't answer and instead shut her eyes tight, feeling dizzy.
She was not okay. How could she be? Peyton was…
Peyton was going to die.
No, no way, she was not letting this happen. It didn't matter what it would take, she was going to change the future.
That's it for now. I really hope you enjoyed this one. It didn't think it would be this long but I guess I got inspired...
Thanks again for the reviews. And to those who had guessed the last part about Peyton, congratulations, you were right! Let's see if you can guess the rest of it...
Now, for the less pleasant part: I've received PMs asking, or rather, demanding to have an exact posting date for every chapter, and basically asking me to write faster. I get that I don't post very often, and I'm flattered that you want to read the rest of this story, but guess what, I have a personal life, and a job- one that includes regular night-shifts and emergencies to deal with on an almost daily-basis... And it may not be obvious, but these chapters take hours and hours to write, and then even more hours to re-write and correct. So I can't give exact dates, not because I don't want to, but because I literally can't. Bear with me, there's only a couple of chapters left anyway.
So, that said, I don't know yet when the next one will be up. It will depend on my job schedule, but most probably around end of July-beginning of August.
Thank you again for reading this.
