Chapter Forty

Bella

I shouldn't have worried about my party, not with Esme in charge of the arrangements but I was still relieved when we ended up in the Presidential Suite of a very expensive hotel in Boulder.

It was huge, plenty of room for us to spread out and room service appeared with a huge buffet style platter and four bottles of champagne.

"I'm not going to drink all that!"

"I know but it would have looked a little suspicious if I'd just ordered sodas. This is a bachelorette party after all. We'll take what you don't drink back to the ranch. You can open one after the ceremony. I happen to know that everyone, with the possible exception of Peter, will be toasting the happy couple. Now, Bella. Relax!"

Rose had rented some movies and we sat together chatting and laughing as the first one started. The last thing I expected to see was A Dog's purpose but she explained that this was Emmett's choice.

"I asked everyone to choose a movie for you, Bella. And I'll apologize in advance for Peter's. I have no idea what it is. He handed it to me in a plain case and there's nothing printed on the disc."

I could only imagine what he'd dug up, probably something triple X-rated and sure to shock. Hopefully, it would be the last one we viewed or if the gods were smiling down on me we might run out of time.

Feeling a little uncomfortable to be at my bachelorette party along with Jasper's first wife I tensed when she stood up and smiled holding up a glass of champagne.

"A toast to the bride. I understand this could be a little awkward and I'd like to put Bella at ease. You have captured the soul of a very special man, Bella. Look after him and he'll never let you down."

I smiled, she was right, her words had put me at ease, and I took a sip of my champagne wrinkling my nose as the bubbles tickled.

"Thank you, Alice."

Rosalie who had been sitting cross-legged on the floor suddenly produced a pack of cards which she proceeded to shuffle expertly.

"Who's ready for a game of truth or dare?"

I wasn't at all sure that I was but everyone else shouted their agreement so I was outnumbered.

"Right. Rules of the game. If you prefer not to answer the question the person next to you gets to choose a dare card for you. No one is allowed to skip more than one truth question back to back and at the end of the game we will go out on the town as a group and all dares must be completed within one hour. Everyone got it?"

I thought I'd throw in a rule of my own to even up the playing field because I was sure that my companions would be far more willing to answer embarrassing questions than I would.

"OK, but…as it's my party I get to choose a dare card for each one of you so no one gets away scot-free. Agreed?"

The ease with which they all agreed told me that not one of them would mind making a fool of themselves in public. I just wished I had half the self-confidence of my companions.

Of course, being the object of the party I was given the first go.

Rose picked out a card and turned it over, "Bella, what is your weirdest habit?"

"Oh, that's easy. Falling for vampires."

Even Sasha found that one amusing although as I said it I could have bitten my tongue seeing her watching me.

"Alice, have you ever gone a whole day without wearing underwear?"

Alice beamed, "Do you usually wear any?"

There was uproar and finally, she grinned, "Yes. When I was in the asylum. But don't worry people, I'm wearing some now. See."

She pulled up her top to reveal a very sheer and sexy black bra. Something I could never have gotten away with.

"Esme, what is the wildest thing you've ever done?"

Esme thought about that for a minute then smiled, "Run naked through a pride of lions in Kenya."

Everyone stared at her in amazement.

"What? Do you think I'm an old lady or something? Besides, it was a dare."

"Who dared you?"

Her eyes opened wide, "Carlisle, of course! I would never strip off in front of any other man."

My conception of Carlisle was undergoing a sharp change after hearing that!

"Charlotte, who was your strangest crush?"

"Crush? That would have to be while I was still human. When we went into town to the feedstore I used to hang around outside hoping to see the guy who moved the sacks of stuff around. He was way older than me and had eyes that crossed but every time I saw him my heart would thump like crazy. I used to fantasize that he would notice me, even talk to me but he never did. I even remember his name, nobby Norman."

I burst out laughing, "Nobby Norman? Why was he called that?"

Charlotte looked a little embarrassed, "I asked my eldest sister that one day and she said it was because he chased after all the townswomen and got a lot of them on account of his legendary member. It was supposed to be eight inches long."

"So you never got to find out for yourself?"

"No, Sasha, I did not. I was only fourteen at the time."

I almost missed Rosalie's question, I was still thinking about Nobby Norman!

Esme held the card up, "Right, Rose. Your turn. What is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?"

Rose pondered, then giggled, "That would have to be Emmett walking in on me astride Edward who was naked at the time."

That one caused silence in the room as she had known that it would.

"I don't wish to appear rude or anything but why were you astride my husband?"

We all broke out laughing at Sasha's delicately put query.

"It's not like it sounds. I was in the garage finishing a repair on his Porsche when Edward sauntered in from the garden. He'd been on my back to get the repair finished for almost two weeks and he made some stupid flippant comment about a monkey being able to work faster. I hit him so hard he flew through the air and as he fell to the floor his shorts caught on the vice and ripped off. I landed on his chest ready to whack him again when Emmett walked in."

"Oh, Rose. I wish I'd seen that. It must have been a hoot!"

Neither Edward nor Emmett thought so, unfortunately, Alice."

My life seemed so staid and boring listening to all these stories and I wondered if any of them were actually true or if they had all been made up for my benefit.

Sasha was the last to get a question, "What is the main thing that attracts you to someone?"

"Mmm, that would have to be their butt. I have a thing about tight little butts."

Again the room was filled with mirth, she hadn't even needed to think. Now that had to be a truthful answer. I must remember to look at Edward's ass next time I met him to see what all the fuss was about. I was sure I was blushing but no one seemed to notice.

The second round I learned that Esme had bumped into a stranger's car and left without saying anything, that Alice's best kiss was from Garrett at a Christmas party, if Charlotte were a man for an hour she'd like to try pee standing up and Rosalie's worst fear would be waking up to find Emmett had changed sex! Sasha declined to answer her question of the last lie she had told as I did my guilty pleasures, and everyone ended up with a dare.

We left the hotel in high spirits and made our way to a bar nearby. It was pretty crowded but we found a table close to a group of college students and ordered a round of drinks which would be slipped to a bedraggled plant just behind us. It looked as if it required AA intervention already so I doubted the alcohol would be too much of a shock to its system.

"Go on then Alice. You first."

Alice got up and walked gracefully up to a guy who was seated at the bar, his bald head gleaming in the lights.

She bent close and whispered in his ear then as he nodded she kissed him on the head grinning over at us as she did so.

"That's not fair. She isn't supposed to ask permission first." pointed out Charlotte.

"Never mind we'll just issue her an extra dare. Now, I think it's my turn."

Esme had picked out her target, a group of men watching a football game and joined them. Within seconds she had their attention insisting she have their autographs. When they tried to point out that she was mistaken she became even more insistent that she knew she'd seen them on TV the night before dancing. Eventually, they all agreed to sign their names on her thigh with a pen she carried with her. I noticed more than one shaking hand and a fair amount of ogling as they did so. If only I had her courage!

We moved on and Sasha persuaded a young cop to stop his motorbike long enough for a selfie with her. I'm sure he was more than willing! He would gladly have had photos taken with all of us but he got a call and had to leave.

Charlotte photobombed a couple's romantic selfie making cupid-like motions in the background and then asked them to take a photo of her. I think the girl would have told her where to go but the guy just smiled.

"Sure. Where's your camera?"

"Can we use yours?"

"Well, I guess so but you won't have a copy that way."

"That's OK. I know you'll keep it and if we meet again you can show it to me."

"We probably won't meet again. My girlfriend and I are only here on vacation."

"That's fine. I don't live here either but maybe we'll bump into each other again."

He frowned not getting her logic.

"Maybe you could give me your phone number and I'll send you a copy?"

"Oh, I don't have a cell phone."

"An e-mail address?"

"Nope."

"Facebook account? Twitter? Whatsapp?"

"No. Please, can I take a selfie? That's all I want to do."

I was close to peeing myself seeing the girlfriend's annoyance and his utter confusion.

In the end, the girlfriend snatched the phone and snapped a photo of Charlotte.

"There. Done. See?"

Charlotte backed away her arms out in front of her.

"No. What's that? Who is that?"

They frowned, "It's you."

"Me?" Charlotte stared at the photo then laughed, "That's not me. I've got long ears and big teeth. I'm a rabbit. See?"

She hopped away leaving the couple to stare after her in disbelief.

Rosalie was perfect as she climbed up on stage in a bar and proceeded to pole dance despite there being no pole, only a wooden beam, to the cheers and catcalls of the assembled guys. If I'd tried something like that I would probably have broken my neck and certainly lost every shred of dignity but she pulled it off like a pro.

Finally, there was only mine left and I knew they were saving my dare for maximum embarrassment value.

Sure enough, as we walked through a crowded mall Alice and Sasha began singing 'You're the one that I want' at which point I had to dance to the song. I have never been so embarrassed in my life but the alcohol dulled my senses enough that I managed it only to find they repeated the action in the next bar and the diner we stopped at afterwards. Why did I get the only multi dare out of all of them? It was rigged!

We did insist that Alice take another dare that involved her persuading a stranger that she was a Russian aristocrat and kiss her hand.

I had my doubts when Rosalie pointed to the guy who was to be her mark. He was dressed in torn jeans and a grubby tee shirt with a heavy metal band name stenciled on the back and was busking outside a subway station.

It took her a little while but I think in the end he worked out that the only way he was going to get rid of this foreign pest, lovely as she was, would be to do as she asked. I was surprised at the graceful way he stood up and bowed over her hand then sank back down and continued his guitar playing as if nothing had happened. Were the guys having as much fun as us? I just hoped Peter hadn't dared Jasper to a lap dance or something similar. I would not like that one bit. Luckily I hadn't been forced into any awkward encounters with persons of the opposite sex.

I'd probably had too much to drink. I found myself giggling a lot and the sidewalk had become extremely uneven but I made my way back to the hotel with the help of my friends and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The following morning I awoke to find the others giggling over something at the table. I had a headache and vowed never to touch champagne again, not ever. Then I remembered downing several cocktails in the bars we visited. What the heck had been in them? Thank Goodness I wasn't getting married today. I would have looked like Frankenstein's mother staggering down the aisle.

I showered and dressed, trying to avoid my reflection in the mirror, then joined my friends who all looked as if they had recently stepped off the front cover of any expensive fashion magazine.

Breakfast was waiting for me. Pancakes with maple syrup and strawberries and a pitcher of orange juice.

"How are you feeling, Bella? You look a little tired."

"I'm fine, Esme. Or at least I will be when I've had some of that juice."

I gulped down two beakers of juice before starting on the pancakes.

"What were you looking at?"

"Oh, that? Just a photo album. We took some pictures last night so you'd have a keepsake. Sasha and Rosalie put it together while you were sleeping."

I was touched, it was such a lovely gesture.

"Can I see?"

"Finish your breakfast first, Bella. You look like you need the energy. Don't forget it's pamper day today. All you have to do is to sit back, relax and let us take care of you while you watch the DVDs the guys sent for you."

I was still a little nervous about what Peter had sent but Sasha smiled so sweetly I thought whatever it was I could get through it. Please nothing called Hooker Brides or Nightmare on Elm Street.

When I finished eating I joined the others and picked up the photo album, a beautiful leather-bound album with Bella's Secrets embossed on the front. My secrets? Had I forgotten some of the things I did last night? Surely not, I wasn't that wasted.

I opened the album and began flipping through the pages, my eyes widening and my mouth dropping open as I did so.

"These aren't what happened last night. I didn't kiss the guy with the bald head or have a selfie with the cute cop."

I turned to the next page and gasped, "And I certainly never got that group of guys to sign their autographs on my thigh."

Alice giggled, "The pictures don't lie, Bella."

"Well, these do. I distinctly remember Esme baring her thigh."

Esme stared at me, eyes wide with innocence, "Me?"

She looked so shocked and innocent that at first, I wondered if I had misremembered the night before but then I saw the twinkle in Charlotte's eye.

"Yes. You, Esme."

"Poor Bella. How will you ever explain all this to the guys? Jasper especially."

I slammed the album shut. "I won't because he's never going to see them."

"Too late," sang Alice, "I sent another copy express delivery to the ranch. They should have it by now."

I groaned and sat heavily on the couch still holding the album.

"You should see the back page. It's my favorite, Alice."

"Mine too, Rosalie."

I flipped to the back page which showed me pole dancing, the same pole dancing that Rose had performed last night. Not only that but I had several dollar bills poking out of my cleavage. Now I knew the photos had been tampered with and felt a little easier. I could cope with being teased but not with thinking I was so drunk I hadn't known what I was doing! I'd get my own back, in time. I was determined on that.