Chapter Forty Nine
Bella
Everything was just perfect, it seemed crazy saying that but it was true. After hours of worry, thinking I might never see Jasper again here I was lying in his arms. Our wedding had been unusual but everything about our relationship was unusual. Thinking back on it, the ceremony meant so much more because it had been spontaneous. The words we spoke in front of our friends, our witnesses, came from the heart. Nothing could ever beat that and it was a memory I would cherish for all time.
He smiled and pushed a strand of hair out of the way so he could look at me.
"A penny for them."
"I was just thinking how perfect my life is. For a while there I thought I'd lost you and I didn't know what I would do without you. Then suddenly you were there and I felt as light as a feather. Promise me that we'll never be parted again."
He smiled and kissed the top of my head, "I promise. You have no idea how precious you are to me. That's why I wanted us to be married. I know it wasn't what you had planned and we can always do it again properly…"
I interrupted, "It was done properly. I wouldn't change a thing. It did make me think though.."
"Oh? About what?"
"I want you to change me."
"I thought that was a given. We have a trip to Norway for our honeymoon and when we get back… If you still feel the same way…"
"No. I mean now. I felt so helpless when you were missing. There was nothing I could do except pace about and worry. I want to be able to look after you. To protect you just like you've always protected me."
He laughed but then saw I was serious.
"You mean it, don't you? You want me to change you now? Bella, I don't think a few weeks will matter. Enjoy your last few months as a human. Don't be in such a hurry to throw it all away."
"I'm serious. We can have a honeymoon while you teach me control. We'll have to be alone for that anyhow, away from the humans. I just don't think I can go on worrying that something might happen and I'll be useless."
He sighed and wrapped me in his arms, "Oh, Bella. I'm so sorry this ruined everything. I don't want to hurry you into becoming a vampire."
"You're not. It's my decision. Please, Jasper. I love you so much. I want to be an equal partner in this marriage."
"You already are but if it's what you want. Maybe I can give the tickets to Esme or Rose."
"Why don't you give them to Alice and Gabriel."
He stared at me in astonishment, "Alice? Why them?"
"Well, I feel sorry for her. She didn't know what Gabriel was doing and she is his wife. They need time to themselves to work out what they're going to do. Besides, I like the idea that they will be on a different continent from us. Maybe they'll do us a favor and decide to stay there."
He sighed, shaking his head, "You never cease to amaze me darlin'. Personally, I'd prefer it if I never saw or spoke to either of them again but you're right. None of this is Alice's fault and Gabriel is just a weak-willed fool who needs to learn some survival skills or Alice is going to find herself a widow before too long."
Silence fell as he held me and I drifted, the feeling of his body against mine reassuring. It would be nice not to feel chilled and have to wrap a blanket around myself after a little while. Once I was a vampire nothing would come between us and that's what I wanted.
Jasper
I wanted Bella to become immortal so there was no chance I would lose her to accident or disease but I hadn't wanted to rush her. Now here she was rushing me. I guess the Norway trip could wait. Peter had found the idea of it hilarious.
"Do you still have any functioning brain cells, Major? Or has battle killed them all off? Do you actually want to take your human bride to one of the coldest fucking places on earth for a honeymoon? She'll die of fucking frostbite within days. Very sexy it'll be with her wrapped up in fucking polar bear fleeces in bed."
"I don't think they have polar bears in Norway, Peter."
He stared at me in disbelief, "No shit! I finally got one over on you? For your information there are. Some place called Svalbard."
I looked at him grinning, "Have you been reading some of those books Charlotte keeps bringing home? I thought you just looked at the pictures."
"Don't change the fucking subject. Or maybe you just can't get it up any more, old man."
I glanced at him but refused to be drawn further into his game.
"Bella wanted to see Norway. End of…"
Peter laughed, "Well, I guess it's better than looking at you for days on end. You just make sure you look after her. She's kinda grown on me and I'd hate to have to beat you to a pulp for losing her."
"I'll try to remember that."
He nodded then became serious, "You know she's gifted I assume?"
"Of course, we discovered that when Edward couldn't hear her thoughts. It used to drive him crazy."
Peter shook his head, "Not that. That was just a party trick. I've been talking to Charlotte. She seems to think Bella is unusual. I pointed out she would have to be if she fell for your sorry ass. Anyhow, both she and Esme suspect Bella has mental abilities."
He explained what had happened with Alice and Gabriel.
"So, it's best you change her now before she blows someone's head off accidentally. At least as a vampire she can learn to control it."
I was intrigued but not surprised. I'd always thought there was something special about Bella Swan. It would be fun to teach her to control both her thirst and her gift if the others were right. All I knew was that I loved her with all my heart and I would both protect and enable her.
The first few weeks were hard but I'd expected that. Bella was unusual in that she learned to hunt and control her thirst pretty quickly but governing her temper took considerably longer. If she became frustrated she would lash out and as I was the only one here I bore the brunt of her anger. At first, it was simply physical which I could cope with easily enough even her mortification when she calmed down and saw the results of her handiwork. Hell, a few more scars would hardly be noticeable as I told her time and time again.
It was her mental abilities I found harder to deal with. The first time I felt it I was knocked to the ground as if a huge metal band had been placed over my forehead and tightened like a vice. The pain was excruciating and it took me a few minutes to learn how to turn it back. The trouble was that I didn't want to hurt Bella, I loved her too much for that.
Eventually, I found a way to dial it down just enough to stop her in her tracks. Bella was so upset when I explained what had happened that she ran from me. She tried to hide but I wasn't about to let her wallow in shame. We talked about it and I tried to explain that she would master it until it became a tool she could use if necessary, not the curse she saw it as.
"I just wish I'd known about it when I found out that Gabriel was behind your disappearance. I would have fried his brain."
As soon as the words were out she regretted them.
"What's happening to me, Jasper? Why would I say such a thing? I don't recognize myself any longer."
"It's your vampire instincts kicking in. Remember, most vampires live to hunt. They feed, kill, then move on and do the same thing over and over. We all have to learn to control our bloodlust, it's just harder for someone like you. Someone who never had a bad thought about anyone."
She smiled at that, "I think you're biased. I've had the odd violent thought I just never gave voice to them. I don't want to be like that. I guess I just didn't understand how hard it was for all of you to learn control. How do you do it? You, Carlisle, Peter, you all make it look so easy."
I laughed, "Easy? No, it wasn't easy at first. It takes time and patience. Sometimes a very long time. You're doing remarkably well for a newborn."
She studied me, "How long did it take for you to teach Maria's newborns to become fighters?"
"That was different. They didn't have to learn much control. Just enough not to kill each other. She wanted their bloodlust so they would fight her enemies for her."
"What if they couldn't learn control?"
"Then they were of no further use to her and she ordered them disposed of."
"Like Charlotte? She told me how you saved her for Peter."
I shrugged, "Charlotte was a special case. Usually, I just killed them."
Again I felt her eyes on me, "That makes you special, Jasper. A vampire who can decide to kill or not to kill. I don't think I could switch it on and off like that."
"I was a soldier, Bella. Used to taking orders. It was no different to my time in the Confederate army. We killed Union soldiers, not each other."
She smiled, "Don't put yourself down. I think you're amazing."
"Just as well or the rest of eternity is going to be somewhat awkward."
Bella's laugh showed me that she was coming to terms with her new life and I would be there to make sure she didn't do anything that would cause her to question her decision to throw in her lot with me.
Bella desperately wanted to see the family but I refused until I was sure she could control herself well enough not to lose her temper with some remark of Peter's. I didn't want to play referee between my wife and my best friend because someone was going to get hurt and that someone was probably me!
It was more than a year before I decided that she was ready and we had a great reunion. The only fly in the ointment was Hugo who wasn't at all sure of his mistress since she had changed. This hurt Bella's feelings but she persevered and eventually, Hugo came around although I suspected he would never be comfortable with her. He always went back to Emmett for reassurance.
Bella shrugged, "it looks like you've got yourself a dog, Emmett. I guess he's just gotten used to you. I've been away too long."
Emmett was delighted although he tried not to show Bella. Instead, he and Peter challenged Bella to a race.
"Last one back gets a dunking in the creek."
I shook my head, they were just like kids and waited with Esme while they raced off.
"She's doing well, Jasper. And you look happy. I'm so glad for both of you. We've missed you."
"Thanks. Any news on Alice?"
"I didn't like to bring that up. She and Gabriel are still together. I know she feels bad about what he did. She's hoping that maybe one day you and Bella can see your way to forgiving him. In the meantime, they bought a place in Norway. We've been to see them once but it was difficult."
I was glad that Alice had found her soulmate but I couldn't forgive Gabriel, not yet and maybe never. As for Bella, it was best to keep her and Gabriel apart or Alice would find herself a very lonely widow!
Bella was elated when they got back. It was pretty obvious that she hadn't lost the race as Peter was dripping wet. It seemed that not only had she beaten them both racing but she'd also won an arm-wrestling competition with Emmett.
"You wanna be careful, Jazz. That woman is dynamite."
Emmett was grinning. I think he enjoyed having someone who could give him true competition. As for Bella, she had never looked more beautiful or desirable. I truly was the luckiest man on the planet.
THE END
