A/N: This is the first time I'm actually sticking to such a strict posting schedule. The weekly deadlines are giving me the necessary anxiety to make sure I write or plan for a chapter nearly everyday xD. I had this chapter completed TWO WEEKS AGO. Enjoy!


Chapter 5

"I will not allow it."

I stop in the middle of packing my suitcase the following morning to spin around and glare at him. Unlike me, Viktor looks calm and collected, simply leaning against the doorframe of the guest room with arms crossed, one ankle over the other. God, I envy his lazy confidence.

"What do you mean, 'you won't allow it?'" I repeat, dropping a T-shirt unfolded onto the bed.

"Exactly what I said. You cannot go to Japan. Not right now, anyway."

My hands ball up. "What the hell, Viktor? I already bought the ticket. Even if you enforced the bond-mark over me I'd still disobey. I need this. And clearly...so do you." I mutter the last bit, gesturing to his general groin area.

Viktor doesn't look pleased about that bit, a little pained if anything. "When we have problems, we cannot just run away to another country. We need to talk, and unfortunately, I haven't been doing my part in that department."

I scoff and cross my arms, looking away. "Obviously."

Viktor still doesn't enter into the room. I wasn't blasting pheromones anymore, but I still hadn't given the permission necessary for him to come near me. It was obvious I'd stress nested in the room overnight. Entering such a nest unbidden was very unwise. So, I make a little gesture indicating he could do so; and he sighs in relief when he walks in but still chooses to take a seat a respectful distance away.

"Your next heat is due soon, Yuuri. I can smell it."

Oh. Oh.

Marked or not, it wasn't smart or pleasant for an omega in heat to be alone. Even worse for one to be outside one's nest. Not when an omega in heat became a beacon of 'please bend me over and screw me!' The haze of a heat overrode all common sense, a thing all omegas hated but had to endure. It was a near miss for Yurio when he literally sought for anyone to knot in him, though thankfully it had been Otabek and not some abusive Alpha taking advantage.

The thing about heats is that we barely remembered anything about them for the week we endure it. All we know of it, is what observing betas tell us from studies, and participating Alphas shared from their own experiences. The scent could drive an unsuspecting Alpha to commit a rape he or she never meant to.

Too many used it as a shoddy excuse to do just that.

"I could take suppressors," I mutter. Those were highly effective in keeping heats minimal, or nonexistent altogether. The only downside is they tended to make some omegas incredibly sick. Unfortunately, I was part of that group.

Viktor's head shot up. "Absolutely not."

I throw my hands up in the air, dropping down onto the bed. "What do you want, Vitya? You don't want to touch me, but you don't want me to take suppressors. What is the difference if I suffer a heat alone while locked up in Japan, versus alone and locked up here in Russia?"

"Because I won't let you suffer the heat alone-"

My eyes narrow. "Pity sex? You've got to be kidding me."

"Yuuri, allow me to speak, please. Preferably without your snippy remarks."

Warning duly noted. There's a growl to his words, and I try hard not to bare my neck in obvious submission. Clearly, I'd tripped a nerve in his immense patience. With a sigh, I clamp my mouth shut and stare a hole in the ground.

He takes the opportunity to continue speaking. "I'm...terrified," he says softer, the tone and the choice of words making my eyes jerk up into his general direction. "I'm terrified of failure if we try again. I...began to wonder if the failure was coming from my end. After all, impotence isn't entirely out of the realm of possibility."

Oh... my God. My heart sinks to the depths of my belly. I want to throw up for my selfishness. But I don't interrupt, letting him continue getting whatever he needs to, off his chest.

"Yuuri, I do not tell you these things because it is unfit for an Alpha to be unsure of themselves. And you were so consumed by self-hate for the miscarriage that I did not want to add to your insecurities with my own." Viktor does a little fidget in my peripheral, and I can tell the admission is absolutely killing him. But he has to say it for the two of us to hear. For me to hear.

He continues. "I've been going to see our counselor about my...issue below the belt. So before you ask, yes, we got myself tested. Everything is biologically sound and I am not impotent. It is really all in my head, and I am working on fixing that problem."

I stand up and cross the space of the room to kneel in front of him. He looks down at me, and in silent truce I tilt my head back to expose my neck. A full display of submission in my attempt to wave the olive branch. To ask for forgiveness.

He understands, and he nods. "I'm sorry, too," he whispers, leaning forward not to re-mark me, but to instead place a soft kiss on the bondmark. "I will do better, lyubov moya. I promise. I just...need time. And your heat will probably be just as much for you as it is for me."

Ah, now this makes more sense. The proximity of pheromones would boost his sex drive. Possibly all the way up to a rut. There would be no question in his ability to preform, because he would finally get outside of his own self-damning thoughts enough to, literally, rise to the occasion and please his mate.

I nod and wrap my arms around his neck, and he drops his head to my shoulder. "I wish you would have told me sooner, zolotse. But I'm happy you told me now. I won't push the issue anymore...I can wait for my heat. I'm so sorry I called you a cheater. I never meant it."

"Ssh. So...you won't go to Japan?" he mumbles into my shirt. I don't miss the almost pleading nature of his request, and I know then that if I pressed the issue he wouldn't bar me from going back to my mother country.

"I won't go to Japan," I reassure, meaning it. I spent enough heats alone in my youth, and didn't want to start now.


Mari is a little sad I've cancelled the trip back to Hasetsu, but I don't backtrack and I don't go into detail about the stress of the last few months where my marriage was concerned. Instead, giving the half-truth that my heat was impending and that we were trying for pregnancy again. It doesn't require further explanation about my decision to remain in St. Petersburg. After all, the best time for one to get pregnant was during heat. Not that it's impossible to get pregnant any other time, but chances went way up during an omega heat.

I'm sprawled into a split on the livingroom floor of Otabek and Yuri's new condominium when I end the call, their daughter having too much fun braiding my hair for me to have the heart to get up and sit properly. Viktor and Otabek are out, choosing to have some Alpha-Alpha outing with a few other circle of friends.

"So, are you going actually tell me what's been going or are you going to feed me the same bullsh—ah—I mean crap story you just told your sister?" Yuri mutters, consciously tailoring his words so as not to swear in front of his kid. Apparently, their daughter swore at daycare and Otabek less than impressed with the news.

I turn my head a bit to catch a glimpse of Yuri's socked feet, but Vasilisa makes a grunt of disapproval and moves my head back into its original position. Bossy like her birth father for sure. "Um, well...you know Viktor doesn't like when I talk about our personal stuff," I mutter into the ground.

I hear a rude sound from his general direction. "Neither does Otabek, but since when have we ever applied the rules where you and I are concerned? Dura, tell me. I haven't been at the rink in a couple weeks but Mila talks. She said you and Viktor fight a lot on the ice, and that never happened before. So spill the beans."

Oh no, people are talking? About us? Did Viktor know? Feeling terrible, I groan and shut my eyes. "I don't think it's appropriate information for a three-year-old to take back to daycare."

I've yet to move, only able to hear the sound of Yuri getting up and moving to another part of the living area and shuffling through some stuff, before coming back and taking his seat again. "Lissa, let's give Uncle Yuuritchka a break, yes? Shall we watch some Vinni Pukh?"

It takes a moment, but then I feel her little hands release its tight grip on my hair. "Okay papa," she relents, shuffling over to Yuri. I'm finally able to sit up and cross my legs Indian style, my back against the recliner. Thus allowing me to glimpse the intimate moment where Yuri lifts his daughter to his lap and puts the headphones on his head first to check to volume of the Russian version of Winnie the Pooh on the tablet, before placing them on Vasilisa's head. He's tender, going so far as to kiss the top of her head and smooth down her black curls before giving me his attention again.

He sees my constricted expression and opens his mouth to say something. But before he can say the usual lines of encouragement that I'd one day have my chance, I blurt out, "We haven't had sex in two months."

Yuri's mouth hangs open, blue eyes wide and searching my neck for the obviously missing bond mark to confirm what I'd just said. Self consciously I pull up the collar of my sweater.

"But that's insanity, you two are like fucking rabbits!" Yuri finally exclaims, free to curse now that his kid's ears are protected by noise-cancellation headphones. "All you two did was eat, sleep and drink orgasms as a three course meal; in any stairway, shower or locker room!"

My ears burn red at the memory of Yuri walking in on me in a very compromising position in what we thought was a deserted stairwell and Viktor fell into rut. "I know. The desire is still on my end, and my doctor said I could have sex again. And even try for another pregnancy if we wanted to. And, oh God, Yuri I wanted to. I couldn't figure out for the life of me why Viktor just wouldn't touch me. He...rejected me, or ignored advances altogether."

Yuri doesn't give me a look of pity, which we both know I don't want. He does give me a look of vicarious anger. And understanding. "He does know that going much longer can break a bond, yes?"

I wave a hand. "No, no. I mean yes, he does. But, we've solved the problem, I think. Maybe. Possibly." I pause and scrunch my nose. "This is coming out not so good."

"Obviously, piggy. Try again."

With a chuckle, I do indeed go back to the very beginning and rehash the story from the two weeks following Viktor's arrival home, to the various rejections, all the way up to the bath fight and the resolution of why I couldn't go to Japan anymore. Occasionally I have to pause for when Vasilisa needs a bathroom break, requests juice, or has an issue with the tablet. By the time I finish, Yuri's look of anger dissipates into his usual scowl. Which I suppose means he isn't mad anymore.

"Duraks," he says. "The both of you. This could have been resolved a lot sooner than it was if you both took the goddamn time to sit down and talk. What is wrong with you two? It's been five years, what can't be fixed with open communication?"

Yuri may be younger than me, but sometimes his nuggets of wisdom make me forget his age. I guess he never really did have the chance to really act his age, forced to grow up and match his peers too early. A blessing and a curse.

He continues. "Alphas...too caught up in their fragile Alphalinity. And omegas too damn afraid to be assertive. The whole thing is a stupid mess. I guess you two can't really be blamed for your nature." He looks down at his giggling daughter, worryingly stroking her arm. I know what he's thinking. We had this talk before. He hopes and prays to anyone listening she never presents as either side. To skate through life as a beta with the freedom of choice. Not that I can blame him. His view of Alphas and omegas were twisted into ugly versions of themselves during his formative years. A complex subject made black and white when it was really more nuanced and grey than that. I suppose for that reason I don't have the same strong opinions on presentations.

I don't get into my views on the matter, since that's not the focus right now. "Well, my heat is coming soon-ish. So I guess we'll have to wait until then."

"And if it turns out he can't get it up? What then? Suppressants?"

The suggestion makes me flinch. Admittedly I hadn't thought of the possibility of Viktor not being able to perform in the middle of my heat. I hated suppressants with a burning passion. "I...didn't think that far. But I guess so."

And even as the words come out of my mouth, they burn my tongue like acid. Please, God, I think to myself. Please, I just need a break for once!


A/N: So many emotions. I'm putting my couple through so much T.T If you want to know what happened to Yuri P. to cause his negative opinions of A/B/O, feel free to go back and read his and Otabek's story in "Your Forever." :D

Shameless self promotion!