A/N: I wrote two chapters in my absence! I was losing my drive again but, inspirationreturned with a vengeance the last few days.
Still no idea how long this fic will be but, I certainlywon't be rushing it.
Read and review!
Chapter 10
My stomach is in knots and I find that I can't stop shivering. Whether that's from the expected and perpetual chill from the clinical environment or from nerves, I have yet to tell. Maybe it was more accurate to call it a mix of both.
At least I'm not here alone. Viktor wasn't here the last time I was in this place, writhing from the pain of another lost pregnancy, and so demanded he accompany me today for my first trimester check-up. Much like my very first pregnancy, I experienced a great deal of nausea. No matter the time of day, no matter what I ate, it was difficult to keep anything down. The result was having to stay overnight once, to be hooked up to IV. Much to Viktor's panic. It was a deja vu neither of us wished to go through again. The result was my doctor having to restrict my diet to foods I usually rather avoided to keep my weight where it needed to be for the skate season.
Carbs. That essentially threw my modified-keto diet out the window. At least I could still eat protein. Well...some of them. Elevated mercury levels from the amount of seafood I ingested on a regular basis made it so that I was banned from sushi until end of pregnancy.
Once more I shivered under the thin cover of the hospital gown while Dr. Khaykis moved the gel-covered device around my abdomen. She gave me a sympathetic smile only briefly before looking back to the monitor.
"Well, I have good news for you both," she said, turning the monitor a bit so both myself and Viktor could see it comfortably. "The baby seems healthy thus far. Only a bit smaller than average but, again, no real cause for concern just yet."
Viktor let's out a breath in barely concealed relief. "So all is well, yes?"
Dr. Khaykis keeps the device on one spot so that we can enjoy the site of the growing fetus before pulling it away and gently wiping the goo off my still relatively flat stomach. Not enough to show yet. If anything I only look perpetually bloated.
"I'm afraid we're not totally out of the clear. I need to see more weight being put on, by both mother and child," she says now looking directly at me. "How is the nausea, Yuuri?"
"Better," I answer. "I'm not throwing up as much anymore since taking the anti-emetics."
"But still not completely gone?"
There's a pause, and feeling like I've failed an exam I shake my head.
Dr. Khaykis pats my hand with her cold, gloved one before pulling away to reach for my file. It's quiet while she skims over the more recent updates, nodding to herself while adding some new notes of her own. "I'm afraid you're still a high-risk pregnancy until we can at least get more weight put on you and by extension, the fetus. I recommend bedrest as well. You may do some walking, but high impact physical activity is ill-advised for the time being. Okay?"
I don't answer, causing both she and my husband to look expectantly up at me. Apparently I take too long, because Viktor decides to answer for me with final word.
"Not to worry, Doctor," Viktor answers. "We will formally pull Yuuri from this year's skate season-
"No!" I interject. Too loudly for such a quiet setting. Sitting up, I look at Viktor now. "You can't decide that for me, that's not fair."
The doctor says nothing, as it's not her place to. Awkwardly in the middle of our dispute. But Viktor's position on the matter doesn't budge. His classic stern expression is in place. By now I've been with him long enough to know when something is futile. Once he's put his foot down, that was simply the end of discussion.
"Lyubov," he starts, "when we agreed to try again, for this last time, you seemed ready to do whatever it takes to make this possible. To have a successful pregnancy. This is as much for you as it is for me. Do you still want a viable pregnancy as desperately now as you wanted twelve weeks ago?"
Rhetorical question. It's hard not to feel chastened when Viktor gets serious like this. And of course, he's using his status to pull rank here. Not something that happens very often. So I already know that in this case, the battle is lost where argument is concerned. Because he is right. I do want this as badly now as I did before. If anything, seeing the baby, small as it was, on the screen bolstered the desire to see how it might look as an infant right here in my arms. Alive and breathing. Finally.
"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm being stupid," I mumble.
Viktor shakes his head, merely rising up to kiss the top of my own. "No, love. Not stupid. Just passionate. I know how much skating means to you. I promise once this is over-if you'd like-we can resume your career again. Just focus on this first, yes?"
"Okay."
Dr. Khaykis shuts the file and stands up. Likely ready to run out of there. "I've set up another appointment for next month. Of course, you know to reach me in between now and that time if anything is amiss or you have any questions. Remember your dietary restrictions and supplemental pills. Otherwise, you needn't do anything else besides rest."
~*~*~
"Ha! Now you know how I felt all those years ago when Yakov made me give up competing. And you all thought I was being dramatic!"
Yurio is draped over his couch, curled up under a very colorful quilt. No daughter today. Otabek's taken her out for a daddy-daughter day, apparently. A rare day of freedom for the blonde. I'm curled up on the other end of the couch with ice-cream in hand. The television is on, though we're only vaguely paying attention to the action film playing.
"No, no, you definitely were being dramatic. But I guess I am now, too, huh," I say between swallows. "I'm convinced its the hormones. I swear, it's like everything makes me either really happy or really sad."
Yurio chuckles and performs a catlike stretch before curling up again. "Welcome to the hormonal club. Stay a while. We have snacks."
The snort I give is so incredibly unattractive that I'm glad no one else is around to witness it. "The other day I was watching this historical Chinese drama. And the opening scene had this little boy playing a flute. Immediately, I started crying."
"You're so weird. But also, I cried seeing a stray cat when I was pregnant. I think weird just becomes the new normal."
"Hm."
And then its comfortable silence between us again. A normality where we're concerned. It was one thing to do nothing by one's self. Doing nothing, together, was different. Yurio didn't skate as much competitively anymore, and with me now officially withdrawn via public statement on my social media, I had far more free time than I ever remember having before. The result was much Facetiming, or one of us going to the other's house. It kept me from going mad with boredom.
"Huh?" I say when I realize I missed whatever question Yurio asked.
He scowls and flicks my forehead, which I slap him away for. "I said, have you thought of names yet?"
My lips turn down. "I don't even know if it's a girl or a boy."
"So you're going to wait until it pops out to have a list ready?"
Oh. Well. Put like that.
"I want a girl," I admit out loud. "Her name would be Viktoria."
Yurio makes a face of one puking. "Ugh, god you're besotted. It's disgusting."
"You were a crying mess at your own wedding," I remind him. I even had the wedding video as evidence still sitting in its DVD case back home. Yuri was a tough guy to everyone except Otabek and their daughter.
He goes to flick my forehead again, but I dodge before he succeeds. "Yeah, well, shut up."
Charmer.
I do him the mercy of turning the question back to me. "But if it's a boy, I'd pass Viktor's name to him."
"You're not very creative are you?"
My turn to thwack Yurio on the thigh. "I like the idea of passing the legacy of Viktor down to our kids. In the end though, Viktor might have other names in mind. And well, since he has final say in the end.."
"Hn."
Alphas had legal right to name the offspring, though Otabek passed the right over to Yurio. But Viktor is slightly more traditional, so I don't doubt him evoking his right to name any kids we might have. It wouldn't bother me either way. As long as the baby arrived safely, Viktor could name it Banana and I still would love it fiercely.
My hands drop to my stomach and rub worriedly. Wordlessly, Yuri pats my arm in silent support.
Stay safe and healthy in there. My eyes are focused on my very tiny bump. We need you. Please.
