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Chapter 1

Bastila was sleeping in her quarters on board the Endar Spire. It was a well-deserved rest. She and the rest of her strike team have accomplished their mission – Darth Revan was now in their custody. She had to admit that she was proud of herself; she had proved herself to be worthy of the title of the Jedi Knight. But these thoughts quickly escaped her mind as she drifted off into blackness – something she didn't even try to resist.


Bastila was on the bridge of the Formidable again, but now she was alone; she looked around. Her companions were lying dead on the floor – all of them. The young Padawan raised her head and looked in front of her. She felt a small shiver running down her spine, unsure if it was fear or excitement at what she had seen. She guessed that it had to be a mixture of both.

Darth Revan was standing right in front of her, dressed in his armor from head to toes. He was wielding a crimson red lightsaber in one hand and a purple one in his second hand, keeping them parallel to his legs. Bastila channeled the Force to try to read his feelings, but they were as impenetrable as the mask that was hiding his face.

"Bastila," he spoke softly; his voice was too calm for the circumstances they were in. The young Padawan felt her palms sweating; she dried them off against her robes.

"Revan," she countered, trying to make her voice sound as emotionless as his. Observing Revan's lightsabers, Bastila reached out to her belt to grab her own weapon. The cold metal hilt of her blade provided some sort of comfort.

"Why did you betray me?" Revan asked, still speaking with the same calm voice. Behind his mask, his eyes were studying Bastila's movements, wondering if she would ignite her weapon. His hands didn't move an inch, keeping his own lightsabers ready.

Taken by surprise by his sudden question, Bastila stumbled backward, losing confidence. I've betrayed him? She asked herself. He betrayed me!

"You're wrong, Revan," she replied, raising her lightsaber, though she still didn't ignite it. "It is YOU who have betrayed ME. The Dark Side has clouded your mind, but, until now, I didn't know to what extent," she answered, fighting against the anger that was threatening to take control over her. Anger leads to the Dark Side, she repeated in her mind.

"We were friends once," Revan countered peacefully. "Even more than friends. And now, you came to me, attacking me on my ship. How is that not a betrayal?" he asked.

"You've betrayed me first," Bastila argued, pointing her finger accusingly at him. "You have attacked the Republic, even though you have promised to me that you would return after defeating the Mandalorians!" Revan was shaking his head before she even finished speaking.

"So misguided," he commented under his breath, though his words didn't fail to reach Bastila's ears. "But still, you have signed my death sentence," Revan added, surprising Bastila once again.

"What are you talking about?" she asked; her eyebrows rose high on her forehead, almost disappearing behind her hair that wasn't tied up in the pigtails. "We have saved your life! If it wasn't for us, Malak would have killed you!"

"So misguided," he repeated, this time louder. "Do you really believe that the Jedi Council would let me stay alive? Or that the Republic would allow me to survive after everything I've done?"

"You used to be a Jedi," Bastila countered. "The Republic won't have anything to say when the Masters judge you. And the Jedi value all life," she reminded him, causing Revan to chuckle slightly.

"You seem to forget that I was also a part of the Republic Military," Revan responded calmly. "And do you really believe that the Council won't kill me? As you've said, I used to be a Jedi; I am well aware of that line of the Code, but the physical death is not the only possible death there is."

"No matter what lies the Dark Side has polluted your mind with, the Jedi Council would never break the Code," she argued.

"Bastila," Revan spoke her name softly. That one word, combined with the tone he always used when speaking with her, caused the young Padawan's emotions to calm down instantly; she raised her head and looked at him. Please, let there be my Revan beneath all of this, she thought.

As if he was reading her mind, Revan turned off both of his lightsabers and clipped them back to his belt. He lifted his hands to his mask and took it off. Just as it happened after Malak attacked the bridge of the Formidable, Bastila gasped silently, unable to stop that sound from escaping from her lips. He hasn't changed a bit, except for the fact that he looked a little older than she remembered, which was only escalated by a small stubble. However, there was no trace of the darkness' consumption on his face as many claimed there would be. Under all of this, he was still the same Revan that she remembered from the day when he departed with the Republic fleet to join them in the Mandalorian Wars. After almost five years, he was still her Revan.

"Do you see the Dark Side in me?" he asked softly.

"No," she replied quietly.

"Then why have you betrayed me, Bastila?" he asked again. She tried to approach him, but no matter how many steps she took, she wasn't getting any closer to him. And then, he began to fade away.

"I didn't!" she yelled at him, refusing to believe in his accusation. Bastila felt the stinging of tears in the corners of her eyes; she blinked a few times, trying to get rid of them.

"You did," Revan stated simply before disappearing entirely, leaving Bastila alone on the bridge, surrounded only by the corpses of her companions.


Bastila woke up with a scream. The sweat was running down her face, stinging her eyes, and all over her body. It was just a dream, she tried to calm herself down. It was just a dream. But no matter how many times she kept repeating that to herself, she didn't feel any comfort; she had to make sure. Bastila slowly stood up from the bed in her private quarters; despite sleeping for almost twelve hours, she felt as if she hadn't slept for a minute. Her muscles were sore, and her head was pounding terribly. But still, ignoring the protest from her body, she stood up from the bed.

Her companions carried Revan to the medical bay. His three soldiers were left in the prison block since they haven't suffered any serious damage. At least not as serious as their leader. The Dark Lord of the Sith required immediate medical attention if they wanted to bring him to Coruscant alive and get some information out of him. His head was badly damaged after he fell to the floor on the bridge of the Formidable. The Republic needed to use a lot of Kolto to heal his wound, much to the protest of many of the soldiers.

Bastila approached a small mirror that was hanging over the sink, right next to the entrance to her quarters. She looked at the reflection that was looking back at her. Her hair was a mess – the two pigtails that she always made sure to make weren't there anymore, and her strands were falling on her face, slightly blocking her vision. Bastila tried to repair her hair, though her efforts proved to be in vain. After a few minutes of struggling against her hair, she gave up.

The young Padawan poured some water on her hands and splashed it on her face. The cold liquid brought some sort of relief to her, and it helped her get rid of the sleepiness that was still holding her in a firm grasp. Bastila quickly removed her nightgown and put on her usual Jedi robes, throwing her cloak on her shoulders as well. She clipped the silver hilt of her lightsaber to her belt. With that, she stepped out of her quarters.

The ship was peaceful, which was odd for her, considering the recent battle, but the Hyperspace Route to Coruscant has provided them all with over a dozen hours of undisturbed rest. The crew of the Endar Spire was mostly asleep – they had no reason to fear an attack from the Sith – after all, the Empire was shattered at that moment. The sudden shift of power wasn't something that could have been taken lightly. Slowly, Bastila started walking down the corridor towards the medical bay. She was taking hesitant steps, still feeling the tight grip of exhaustion around her.

She passed a few soldiers who were on patrol duty on the ship. They've saluted her, and she replied with a simple nod of her head. Bastila wiped her face with her hand in order to get rid of the remnants of sleep. Her steps were clumsy; her feet were scraping against the floor as she was making her way towards the medical bay. It wasn't that far from her quarters, but the distance seemed to be endless.

She has finally reached the entrance that led into the medical bay. After stepping through it, Bastila was overwhelmed by a variety of sounds. The doctors were shouting, and the medical equipment that was keeping Revan alive was beeping loudly. Something was wrong, and it didn't take her long to realize that.

The medics were running around the bed the Dark Lord was lying in. Slowly, the words started making their way into Bastila's mind. 'His life…', 'Dying…', 'Weak pulse…', 'Bring the…' was all she heard among the yells. None of the doctors was paying any attention to her; they were too busy with their only patient. And then, these words started making some sort of sense in her mind. Revan was dying – that's all she managed to understand before her instincts kicked in, and she made her way towards his bed. He was deadly pale, much more than he used to be on the bridge of the Formidable. This time it was due to the large blood loss, which caused him to be dying slowly. Bastila pressed the palm of her hand to his forehead – it was cold. She quickly removed her hand from his face.

"Go away, child!" one of the doctors screamed at her, forgetting who he was speaking to. He pushed her away from the bed. Reluctantly, Bastila obeyed the command and raised her head to look at the cardiogram that was standing right next to the mattress that Revan was occupying. From what little knowledge about the medicine she had, she could understand that his heartbeat was weak, and it was fading away.

She didn't know why, but something in her mind told her that she had to try and save him, even though she had no training in the arts of healing. She pushed back the medic and positioned herself right next to Revan's bed. Bastila took his cold hand into her palms, pressing it against her chest. Using the Force, Bastila entered Revan's mind; then, the blackness has surrounded her.


She wasn't asleep – of that, she was certain. Bastila found herself in a black room with absolutely no sound or light. She took a hesitant step forward – nothing. She took another step – again, nothing has happened. Bastila started walking cautiously ahead, and suddenly, she hit something.

She thought it was a wall, but when her eyes finally adjusted to the darkness around her, she was able to make out a shape – a human shape. With time, more details started coming to her. This man, she assumed from his posture, was wearing armor. That was all she was able to make out in the dark. Bastila raised her head and looked upward, and her heart stopped beating for a few seconds.

She saw him without his mask. Even in the darkness that surrounded them, she could make out the details of his face. It seemed to shine in the empty room. Bastila smiled hesitantly upon seeing him, though he didn't return the smile. His expression was emotionless, and he seemed not to notice her because his eyes weren't looking in her direction.

"Revan," she spoke to him quietly. At that, he turned his attention to her, though he didn't say anything; he was just looking at her. His green eyes were shining brightly in the dark room they were in.

"We meet again, Bastila," he suddenly said softly, finally acknowledging her presence. Her smile widened when she heard his words, taking pleasure in hearing his voice once again. His expression, however, still remained emotionless. "I'm dying, my dear," he whispered to her, catching her off guard. She was aware of that, of course; that's why she entered his mind in the first place, but hearing it directly from him was something different entirely. "That's why you're here," he added, and once again, Bastila felt as if he was reading her mind. Her smile faded away slowly from her face. She didn't know what to do or say at that moment – she just wanted to hug him, but it seemed impossible. She kept standing there while Revan started backing away slowly. When he was a few steps away from her, Bastila shook her head, getting rid of the trance that she was in, and tried to walk towards him. But, just as in her dream, she couldn't get any closer to him, and, once again, he started fading away. "Why have you betrayed me?" Revan asked.

At that point, Bastila was completely free of the trans she was previously in. Even if she wanted to say something, her voice has failed her, and nothing came out of her mouth. Instead, she did the only thing she could come up with – she reached out to him through the Force, trying to pull him back towards her. And, at some point, it has worked.


Bastila opened her eyes reluctantly. A white light of the medical lamp caused her to close them immediately, though. She tried to blink a few times in order to try to get used to the brightness that was surrounding her, in opposite to the darkness she was previously in. However, her efforts turned out to be in vain. The light was just impossible to get used to, and so she kept her eyes shut.

"She's awake," someone next to her said. Bastila felt herself being pulled upwards, and something metallic was pressed against her mouth. She parted her lips and felt cool water running down her throat. She coughed at first, taken by surprise by the sudden presence of a liquid in her mouth, but after a few seconds, she drank everything that was given to her willingly. Until that moment, she wasn't quite aware of just how much her body desired water.

"Wh… What happened?" Bastila muttered. At that point, she felt that she could trust her eyes and opened them slowly. This time, the light wasn't nearly as blinding as it used to be previously. But still, she couldn't make out any details of her surroundings.

"I had hoped that you could have enlightened us," a voice she recognized as Vrook's answered her. Bastila looked in the direction she thought it came from. He was standing right next to the bed that she was occupying, with the two doctors on both of his sides. "I have come here because I have suddenly felt you being surrounded by the Dark Side. Then, I've walked in and found you unconscious at Revan's bed. So, once again, tell me what has happened, my Padawan," Vrook ordered, scrutinizing her with his eyes. Unwillingly, Bastila shivered under the intensity of his gaze.

"I've come here to check in on him," she admitted hesitantly, carefully choosing her next words. She scanned the medical bay in order to find Revan's unconscious body. He was still lying on the bed on the other side of the room. "I've realized that he was dying, and I… I did the only thing that I could come up with," she revealed to her master.

"Which is?" Vrook asked, urging her to continue.

"I've entered his mind," she replied quietly, looking down at her feet.

"You did what?!" Vrook exclaimed, clearly enraged. Bastila sighed nervously.

"I've entered his mind," she repeated, this time louder. Vrook breathed in deeply as if he was trying to calm himself down. The two doctors looked at each other nervously, silently agreeing that it would be wise if they didn't intermeddle into the Jedi business. They both have suddenly realized that they had something much more important to do at that moment.

"You've entered his mind, or did he enter yours?" Vrook asked, looking her straight in the eyes.

"I have entered his mind," Bastila repeated confidently for the third time.

"And why did you do that?" Vrook asked seriously; his face wasn't expressing any emotions, except for shock and anger.

"Because I've wanted to help him," she replied honestly. Vrook sighed heavily after hearing her words.

"And what happened next?" he asked; his arms were crossed on his chest.

"At first, nothing," Bastila started explaining. "I didn't see or hear anything until… until Revan appeared in front of me." Vrook leaned forward, still scrutinizing her with his eyes.

"And?" he urged her to continue after seeing that she wasn't willing to say anything more. "What happened next? Did he do anything? Did he say something?" he continued bombarding her with questions.

"He said that he was dying," Bastila revealed to her master. And that I have betrayed him, she added in her mind, though she didn't say it out loud. She felt the intensity of her master's gaze on herself, and she wasn't willing to share that piece of information with him.

"Did he say anything else?" Vrook asked, demanding an honest answer as if he was reading her mind. Bastila shivered slightly, not quite used to that filling.

"No," she lied. She couldn't say if her master bought her lie or not.

"What happened next?" he asked. Bastila stopped herself in the last second possible from sighing with relief. Vrook believed her. She knew that it was wrong to lie to her master, but there were some things that were better to be left untold, such as her past relationship with the Dark Lord, though she wasn't sure if Vrook was unaware of it.

"He started fading away," Bastila replied, recalling her second encounter with Revan in the depths of his mind. "I've wanted to stop him, and I did the only thing that came up to my mind."

"Which is?"

"I've reached out to him through the Force," she said. She quickly noticed Vrook's face going deadly pale. "I've caught him and tried to pull him towards me. That's all I remember."

"And did it work?" Vrook queried, even though he already knew the answer to his question. After all, the medics have confirmed that Revan's condition has stabilized itself suddenly.

"Yes," Bastila replied, confirming what he suspected. He sighed heavily again, running his hand through his grey hair; he rubbed his eyes. He clearly understood what Bastila had done based on what she told him. "What is it, master?" she asked after noticing Vrook's odd reaction. The Jedi Master blinked a few times, forcing his lips to form a small smile, almost unnoticeable.

"Nothing," he replied, though Bastila didn't buy it. Apparently, something was wrong, and she knew it. "You've just used the Force to stop Revan from becoming one with It. To say it in simpler words, you've just saved his life. Now, excuse me, but I have to be present at the meeting with the Jedi Council," he said and left the medical bay quickly, leaving confused Bastila behind.

As soon as the Jedi Master left the room, the two medics came up to Bastila's bed to check her condition. After a few minutes, they've allowed the young Padawan to leave the medical bay. She thanked them with a nod of her head and stood up from her bed, heading towards the exit. She passed by Revan's unconscious body on her way out of the medical bay. Bastila looked at the Dark Lord of the Sith for the last time. She blinked a few times, surprised by what she had seen – it seemed as if Revan was smirking. Or, at least, it looked like that, but it could have only been the result of the light in that room as well. She didn't have a chance to examine his features more, as her legs led her out from the medical bay. She began walking back towards her private quarters, thinking about everything that has happened in such a short time.

Revan – the most hated person in the entire Republic – was lying in bed in the medical bay onboard the Republic cruiser, being attended to by the doctors. He was receiving the same medical help that any soldier would, even though he was directly responsible for all they have suffered over the past year.

But I don't hate him, she realized suddenly. Bastila stopped in her tracks. Was it true? For the past year, she was trying to force herself to hate him. During the nights, when no one could neither see nor hear her, she reasoned with her reflection in the mirror, trying to convince it that she hated Revan. But she couldn't, no matter how hard she tried. She was only lying to herself, and she was fully aware of that. Her heart was disobeying her mind, and she would often find herself thinking about the Dark Lord of the Sith. She used to recall the man without that mantle, reminiscing their younger years, when the friendship between her and Revan slowly developed into something more, despite the Council's teachings about love. She knew perfectly well that it was forbidden, just as the majority of the emotions, but it still didn't stop them. They used to sneak out of the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine and spend hours on the grassy plains, especially during summer. They've watched sunsets together many times while resting on a hill that was located a safe distance away from the Academy. One memory from those days was particularly worthy of remembering.


It was Revan's last day as the Padawan. The next day, he was supposed to pass his Jedi Trials on Coruscant. Bastila was very proud of him - of course, she was. After all, no one before him has ever faced the Trials at the age of twenty! That evening, they were celebrating. Alek and Meetra were already knighted, but they both were five years older than Revan. They still joined their friends, though. After an impressive feast that was served in the Enclave, Bastila and Revan sneaked out into the plains of Dantooine. They've quickly found their favorite spot on the hill from which they've had a perfect view of the setting sun. Revan was sitting slightly behind her. They were staring at the sky, and they were simply enjoying each other's company.

"You're leaving tomorrow," Bastila more stated than asked. She turned her head around to look at him. He only nodded in response. His expression, though, was almost sad. He wasn't smiling, and his eyes didn't have the usual flicker of happiness in them anymore. "What is it?" she asked. She didn't understand him. He should have been happy, shouldn't he? Finally, Revan looked at her.

"I am happy," he replied as if he knew what she was thinking. "I really am, but…" he trailed off, running his hand through his hair. It didn't fail to escape Bastila's attention how careful he was not to destroy his perfect hairstyle, though. She was aware that it wasn't easy for him to keep his hair pulled backward, and yet, he never gave up. She started studying his expression, searching for any clues on what was going on inside his head. The sunlight has caused his pupils to lessen extremely to the point where almost only his irises were visible. She often caught herself staring into his eyes, but at that moment, they seemed to be even more enchanting than ever. Dozens of shades of emerald green were sparkling in them, illuminated by the sunlight. Revan squinted, trying to block the light. Bastila missed the moment in which he directed his gaze at her. Those incredible eyes were staring directly at her.

"But?" she tried to encourage him to continue. Bastila ignored the tingling sensation in her stomach, waiting for Revan to reply. He didn't say anything, though.

His next action has caught her completely off guard. Revan leaned towards her, closing the distance between them. The time seemed to slow down, and yet, everything was happening so quickly that Bastila was afraid that it would be over before she managed to do anything. The moment their lips touched, the tingling sensation in Bastila's stomach erupted again with full strength. She was completely stunned by Revan's actions. Her eyes were wide opened as he continued kissing her lightly. After a few seconds, though, the realization of what was happening hit her with full strength, and Bastila allowed herself to relax and enjoy the moment while it lasted. She answered the kiss eagerly by leaning against him and wrapping her arms around his neck, bringing him even closer to her if that was even possible. She moved her hands upward, burying her fingers in his black hair – something she often dreamt of doing. They were soft, incredibly soft, just as his lips.

She didn't know just for how long they've been kissing until she felt a gentle pressure against her lips. Revan was asking for permission, and she replied eagerly to it by opening her mouth and allowing his tongue to make its way forward. Revan began exploring the insides of her mouth; she tasted him with her own tongue, and, once again, she felt the same tingling sensation deep in her belly. She could most certainly get used to this. She gasped silently into his mouth when she felt him biting her lower lip softly. Bastila felt Revan's arms sneaking up her back. He started stroking her hair that, unusually, was left free. They've stayed like that for hours. Or maybe a few minutes? Or even a few seconds? She didn't know, and she couldn't care less about it. The only thing that mattered to her was to remain close to him. Forever. None of them wanted to ruin that moment.

Unfortunately, they were forced to part their lips as their lungs demanded oxygen. They didn't break their physical contact, though. They were still touching each other with their foreheads and their hands, gasping for air. Bastila was sure that her stomach has already erupted with millions of butterflies. Their eyes remained closed, but their lips were opened in a perfect reflection of themselves. They were grinning madly, forgetting about the entire Galaxy around them in that single moment.


Bastila leaned against the wall in her quarters. She was crying, and she didn't even bother to fight against the tears that were running down her face. The painful memories have flooded her mind. The vision of their first and, at the same time, last kiss, were still fresh in her mind. She could even taste Revan on her mouth if she focused enough. She licked her lower lip, recalling the pleasant sensation. She slid down the wall, sitting on the floor. She buried her face in the palms of her hands. And then, she felt somebody's presence on the edge of her mind.


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