TW: Attempt of suicide and mentions of past suicides.

You lose my number...

I can't trust you...

We're weaker together...

These statements were ringing in sam's head since the first time they were said. Sam just couldn't get them out f his head. Yes, okay he made a mistake, a Big mistake but this time the people that he loved couldn't forgive him. He stepped into the bathroom and sobbed his eyes out. He thought to end his life but Lucifer already had brought him back enough times.He stepped in the tub and started filling it with water as he sank deep in the bathtub. He just wanted the pain to end.

Dean opened the motel room and saw that it was empty. He heard water noise coming from the bathroom and sighed in releaf that Sam was in the bathroom and nowhere else but he just had this terrible feeling in his gut that something wasn't right. He listened as the voice of water didn't stop and decided to knock for Sam.

"Hey, Sam, I wanna take a bath also. Come out now" he said, trying not to sound like he was worried but tried not to show any anger.

Nothing. Not a sound came from inside.

"Hey, Sam, c'mon man, we have a hunt, come out now" he said

Still nothing.

Now, Dean admitted that he was starting to worry a little. He banged at the door "Hey, Sam, be decent, I'm coming in" he said and opened the door, which to his surprise, wasn't locked. He thanked and went in the bathroom and what he saw scared the hell out of him. Sam was slumped lifelessly in the bathtub, not breathing. "SAMMM!!!" he shouted and leaped towards the bathtub.

He got his brother out of the bathtub and called Castiel. The angel was there in an instant. "He's gone, Dean" Cas said and Dean couldn't believe what he was listening. "Nonononononono. Sam would never commit this" . He knew what this meant. His brother wouldn't commit suicide. "No, Sam come back to me, little brother" he said and started crying at his brother's lifeless chest. Suddenly the chest heaved and a gasping noise came.

Dean looked up to see that Sam was spilling the extra water out of his lungs and Castiel was patting his back. Dean looked at Castiel and asked by raising his eyebrow if he did it. Castiel simply shook his head no. "Hey, Sam, take it easy dude. Breathe through it little brother" he said and started comforting his brother. After a few minutes, Sam finally calmed down and he collapsed in Dean's arms and Dean took his brother in the room and laid him on one of the beds.

Dean was very happy that Sam was miraculously back from the dead but he didn't know who had done it. Who would save his brother's life without anything in return? That was the biggest question he had in his mind. "It was Lucifer" a voice came and Dean and Castiel turned around to see Sam, leaning against a wooden pillar. "How'd you ..." Dean started but was cutoff "I know that you were thinking this Dean. I'm not that stupid" Sam said and came and sat beside his brother on the sofa, maintaining a little distance between them. "Lucifer?" Dean asked, gulping. "Yeah" Sam said, flatly. "I'm guessing this wasn't the first time?" Dean asked. "No" Sam said, his tone showing no emotions at all. "How many..??" Dean asked. "I don't know. I lost count" he said and made a move to get up but Dean stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"Sam, talk to me, man" he said, lovingly. "There's nothing to talk about Dean. You've got yourself a depressed little brother whose goal is to end his life and NOT come back from the dead. You wanna know how I became suicidal? It's because of you and everyone else" Sam said, glaring at Castiel and Cas couldn't help but feel a little guilt as well. Sam leaved no room for further discussion. He turned and left the room. Dean was guilty as hell that Sam was suicidal and that he had to thank the devil, of all people, for keeping his brother Alive. Sam had quietly went to bed, sobs coming from the bed and Dean could hear them loud and clear and he felt guilty as hell, for being the cause of his brother's cries.

Author's note: Hey guys, Chapter 1 of this series. Hope you guys enjoy reading