A/N: This marks half way through Bitter. Oh wow
For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.
1 Peter 2:19-21
As the sun shot through the pulled down curtains, the rays finding a perfect blaze across Nico's eyes, he slowly blinked them open. Once pulled from slumber, Nico rolled over, trying to avoid the light and find sleep one more time. As he turned, he noticed the spot he expected to find his curly haired boyfriend – who would most likely tell him it was time for him to get up anyway – was empty and pushed away, cold to the touch.
With tired and squinted eyes, Nico pushed himself up and off the bed. He looked around the room, still half covered by the blankets he had kicked off mid sleep. The room was seemingly empty of anyone else.
He ran a hand over his face, pulling at his skin until his body caught up with him. It was quiet and empty.
With a heavy sigh, Nico kicked off the covers and flung his legs over the side of his bed. He still had a throbbing pain in his butt, but it was more manageable as long as he didn't put direct pressure on the bruise that painted him black and blue. He pocketed his phone, unbothered to change out of the pajamas he had stolen from Will. He had his own, but Will's were more comfy in his opinion.
When his feet touched the ground, he was met with the cold, wooden flooring, zapping his feet with a sensation he was not awake enough to register anything other than bad. He hobbled around and threw on some socks that were probably from the day before and Will's high school sweater. Their school had the most obnoxious colours and Nico swore to never buy anything, but Will was just crazy enough to be seen in a bright burnt orange.
Slipping it on and heading downstairs, Nico expected to run into Naomi, Will's mother, but as it seems, Nico was the only one in the house. Grabbing a glass of water, Nico leaned back on the counter and took a deep breath. He thought that maybe Naomi had run into town, but Will…
When he heard a cow moo softly in the distance, he set the glass into the sink and headed over to the front door, slipping on his tattered shoes and headed towards the barn.
When he stepped outside, the sweater was a good call. The spring air came with a chill that left a fine layer of dew on the morning grass.
Slipping into the barn, Nico stood off to the side as he watched a relaxed Will speak softly to the cows. He was brushing flies away from their eyes as he pet them. The entire bottom of his boots were covered in old and fresh mud, old clumps being covered by fresh muck. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail, stray pieces falling in his face but he didn't push them away.
Leaning on the barn wall, Nico couldn't help but revel in how at peace Will was being back home. Even if he started to dress more and more like a southern stereotype by the minute, there was something in Will that Nico hadn't seen before, and it was captivating.
After taking a few moments to watch his boyfriend, Nico pushed himself off the wall and make his way over to him. Will glance back and saw him, smiling before turning his attention back to the cow he was fawning over.
"You were gone when I got up," Nico said, just putting it out there.
"I didn't want to wake you. Thought you would want more sleep." Will's voice was like maple, rich and smooth. Nico could listen to him talk all day, especially with his accent. (And being in Texas, it had made it stronger than ever.)
"I appreciate that," Nico hummed as he leaned his head on Will's shoulder. The blond was wearing his jeans that were tattered and stained at the bottom from constant farm work and a camo sweater. Nico made a mental note to throw it out and burn it so Will would never find it again.
Will wrapped his arm around Nico, the other one still pressed to the cow. Nico couldn't remember which one this was so he kept his mouth shut.
There was a far away look in Will's eyes when he looked up. They were lidded and it appeared that Will was in deep thought. He thought about pressing, but somethings he had to learn to let go. Will would tell him in his own time.
…..
Being back home was a weird feeling for Will. He had such fond memories of the farm, of the town he grew up in, and of the people here. But being back, the longer it continued, the more he remembered why he had left in the first place.
That morning when he awoke, it was just before the crack of dawn. He could see the orange hills ablaze with the coming morning just outside the slits in his curtains. Normally he would leave them tied back for the sun's welcoming kiss, but Nico very much disliked the bright and early treatment it gave him so he left them untied.
It was silent. God, was the silence deafening. The whisper of the birds coming to collect the morning worm, signaling to the others around them of the arriving dawn was hushed by the wind rustling the leaves. It was a sound Will had almost forgotten being in the city. It was a sound that reminded him just how lonely and isolated he was, and it never felt more tranquil.
When he fully registered what was around him, he took a deep breath in. Beside him, Nico was sprawled out, the blankets hogged and tousled in every direction – much like his hair. He had the tiniest bit of drool as he shifted in his sleep. He had one hand above his head and the other latched on to Will's shirt. Will couldn't help but smile at how his boyfriend slept. Side by side, he always held on. It was like he was afraid Will would leave him in the night.
He knew no matter how much Nico denied it, he was clingy and a hopeless romantic. Will had known him long enough to understand when "no" meant "yes" and vise versa. As much as he hid it, Nico was an open book to those who took the time to read.
It was relaxing having him here, but it also scared the shit out of Will. Up until yesterday, Will had forgotten all about the dangers of having Nico with him – especially in town. Why he had left, packed up and gone to New York to live with his dad. This wasn't the nicest of towns, and no matter how much he wanted to hate it, no matter how many times he ran away, he would always find himself coming back, slowly waring him down until he yearned for its presence.
As much as it had pained him, it was home. And no matter how lost he felt in life, it was the once constant he could look back on to ground him.
But slowly, like a sudden change of wind, his "home" was finding roots somewhere else.
To lay there, to allow time to pass him without a care for its ever-constant presence, he could be at peace. He could find solitude in the body beside him. The warmth of Nico curled up against him, clinging to him even in the depths of sleep, meant there was hope. In some way.
He didn't want to move, but the stillness of himself and world around him was gnawing at him, scratching from the inside out. It was becoming unbearable, like he was being boiled alive. In a place that brought so much peace, it was himself that was tearing down his walls.
He tried to move Nico gently, knowing how deep of a sleeper he was, but it was pretty much a failure each time he tried. Will wanted to pry his fingers away, but that only would be more of a hassle then it was worth.
With a sigh, Will nudged Nico until he shifted, managing to shift out of his grasp in the tiny window frame he got.
His feet were like feathers as he maneuvered around the room, putting on whatever he could find in the light of the raising dawn. He didn't want to give Nico any reason to wake up so he left the lights off. Fishing for a sweater, he found one he hadn't worn in years. His old camo sweater he used to wear to bush parties back in freshman year. It still smelt vaguely of fire smoke and alcohol. Even after all the years…
Will stumbled around until he found himself outside, taking in the crisp air that still resided from the night before. It hadn't quiet warmed up, the dew fresh and slightly frozen.
He wasn't sure how long he was out in the barn before his mother came in. She was surprised to find Will cleaning up after the cows, only two residing in the shelter of the barn.
"What are you doing up?" she asked, curious as she pressed further in, a bucket in hand.
"I could be asking you the same thing," he said, one hand in pocket as he ran his hand down the side of the cow – Padme.
She laughed. It was musical and light, and sudden Will was six years old again. He was backstage, watching his mother entertain thousands as his father held him, earmuffs deafening the loud music. It sent a ping through his chest, tightening.
"Thought I would get a head start. Shouldn't you be in bed?"
Will shrugged. He wasn't sure how to respond other than, "you're right." But in that moment, he said nothing.
They worked in silence, only nods and one-worded passes between them. It wasn't awkward, but the air was stiff. Even in the same old routine, Will felt older. His past and present were tearing at him from inside at the seams.
"Is everything alright?" Naomi finally spoke, setting the shovel down as she turned to her son.
Will sighed, clenching his jaw tight as he thought everything over.
No.
Yes.
He didn't know.
So, Will shrugged.
"You don't look alright," Naomi said, walking over and wrapping her arm around her son. Even towering over her, he felt small in her arms.
"I don't know," he finally said.
"Is – " she paused, as if she didn't want to continue her thought, but she did, "Is it Nico?"
Will shook his head.
"No," he whispered. But something in the back of his mind wasn't convinced. "I just don't know if coming back was such a great idea."
"How so?"
Will shrugged again.
"Have you messaged Lou? Or Cecil?" she asked, pulling back a bit to look him in the eyes.
Will shook his head.
"No."
"Well, why don't you send them a message and see if they want to hang. I know you wanted to, but I think a push to do so would do you good." Her smiled was warm and welcoming and it did some good to calm him down.
Nodding, he said, "Sure. Yeah – I think that'll be good. A good idea."
She gave his shoulder a soft pat as she sent one more soft smile his way. Even if it was a simple gesture, it was all he needed from her.
"Now," she started, straightening her back, "I'm going to check on their food trolley and see if they need feed. Even with all the fresh grass, they are so picky."
"It's because you baby them, ma."
She waved her hand around.
"I know, I know. But what else am I supposed to do when you're gone?"
"Go on," Will shooed her away, chuckling at her.
When she left from sight, Will went back to Padme. She was just as gorgeous as the day he had left her.
Before he knew it, Nico was coming up beside him. At first, he had thought it was too early for him to be up, by when he glanced behind him, the sun was well high enough to wake the night owl. It didn't help the fact that Will wasn't there when he woke. He felt a little guilty about that one.
After a moment, Will wrapped his arm around him, drawing him closer. Having him at arms reach was like a drug. It numbed his worry, even if they were ever persistent in the back of his mind.
But he was scared. If he let go, if he took his eyes off of him for just a moment, then something bad would happen. He needed nothing to happen to Nico while they were there. It was the biggest risk bringing him to the one place even he didn't feel safe. But he was so blinded by the idea of showing Nico his home, Will forgot all about it.
"Hey," he said, tearing his eyes away from the wall where he had been staring, "let's go into town later. I wanna show you my favourite coffee shop and the school I went to. I'll also message Lou and see if she and Cecil wanna meet up. I need to introduce you two. She has been dying to meet you."
Nico's wide and innocent eyes were enough to melt away any ice that was causing him to freeze. Even through the fear, it was Nico that could bring him back to life. Matching his gaze, he understood why he fell in love. He understood why he was his best friend.
A soft smile pulled at his boyfriend's lips.
"Sure, I would love to."
He leaned down and kissed him. Even if there was no reason other than to have his lips on his, it was enough. To kiss Nico was to understand unconditional love.
"If you two are done," Naomi shouted, causing both boys to pull away in embarrassment, "I think it's time for breakfast."
Will gave his mother a glare, but she simply shrugged at him. A meek nod came from Nico who still had a thing about PDA. Even if it was just Will's mother.
"Get a move on."
"Alright," Will shouted, pulling Nico along with him by his hand. And Nico never once tried to let go.
...
The bitch, the witch, and the fly
Lou
But do you think ill get a felony?
Sadly :(
Lou
FUCK
Today11:48 AM
GUYS
GUYS
Lou
WHAT
DID SOMEONE DIE?
NO
Lou
FUCK
Sorry to get your hopes up
Lou
its fine
Whats up blondie?
So you know how im in Texas rn
Lou
yes you ass hole
didn't fucking tell us till u got here :(
Sorry!
But
I was wondering if…
Lou
don't pull my leg Will
you back in town?
Yeah!
Lou
You piece of shit
Why didn't you say anything?
Here I thought I would have to load Cecil into my truck and drive into the city to see you
Sorry
seriously
Lou
Its fine
but ur on thin fucking ice buddy
how long u stayin?
Maybe till Saturday? Our flights Sunday morning
Lou
our….
?
Nico's with me
Lou
You PIECE OF SHIT WHY DIDN'T U TELL ME UR BOYFRIE D WAS FUCKNG WITH YOU
I NEED TO MEET HIM
OKAY OKAY
HERES THE PLAN
ILL MESSAGE THE SQUAD AND BUSH PARTY IT LIKE OLD TIMES.
Cecils?
Lou
How else?!
Perfect!
I can't wait
Lou
Sick
Cecil
I heard my name
whats up
WAIT
I JUST READ THE CHAT
IM DOWN
Amazing!
Lou
lets do this!
Hows Thursday?
Cecil
Sounds good to me!
Should be fine
I'll let ma know
Lou
TELL YOUR MOM I SAY HI
Will do!
Cecil
Same!
Lou
God
I love your mom
true milf
God
please for all that's good in this world never say that again
Lou
Its true
I see a good women, I say it
plus
there are about 100000 lesbians on twitter that would agree with me
Cecil
True
ALRIGTH BYE I HAVE TO GO NOW
Lou
THURSDAY AT WHORES HOUSE
K
BYE
Will tucked his phone away, shaking his head as he pushed aside a tired sigh as Nico walked over to his side with two coffees.
"Thanks," Will said, smiling and shaking the previous thought from his head. He loved his friends, but god did they not let him live down his parentage.
"What did they say?" Nico asked, noticing Will was off his phone.
"Thursday, it seems," he said, taking his coffee and thanking his boyfriend for going up and grabbing it. "That work for you?"
Nico shrugged casually.
"I don't have any plans for this week so it doesn't bother me much."
Smiling, Will led Nico out of the small café.
"C'mon."
….
Nico was more than happy to follow Will through the tiny town. It was astonishing just how close knit the community seemed to be. Will would point out a small park or parking lot and would have about ten stories involving some random event that occurred there.
Nico listened intently as Will unraveled stories of his time drag racing at 14, almost crashing into a stop sign. How, once, he evaded the cops by turning down a series of back roads. The more he spoke, the more Nico realised that there was an entire side of Will, an entire lifetime that he had lived, that Nico knew next to nothing about. He had heard stories and saw picture evidence, but when Will pointed out a dented stop sign, explaining how a senior crashed into it and still managed to roll his car home by morning, everything melted into place.
It was a little frightening.
Nico swore he knew Will. He swore Will was his best friend and he could read him up and down, but walking down a small side road, the blond decked out in clothes he had only ever seen hanging in his closet or paired with the worst accessories, it was like he was with a man he hardly knew.
Maybe getting to know Will in the place he grew up would change his perspective on him. Or maybe it would let him know every side of him. The week was young and only time could tell him what he was to do.
"That's where I went to school," he pointed out, motioning to a building that looked older than Will's house. There were trailer-like buildings next to the side, a pathway connecting from them to the school.
"Holy shit," Nico muttered. It was much smaller than their school by a long shot. Maybe held three-hundred kids, give or take, that was Nico's guess.
"Oh yeah," Will said, a smile in his voice, "and it looks even worse on in the inside. I used to have to wake up at five-thirty to make sure I caught the bus on time, especially when ma was working on music. I always felt bad when I missed the bus and she had to drive me."
Nico scrunched his brow in thought. Technically, Nico had always lived close enough to his schools that he could walk if he missed his bus. He couldn't imagine what school was like while living so far out into the country. There was no way Will was ever walking if he missed.
When Nico looked up to study his boyfriend, there was something that passed over his face. Nico couldn't quite place what the look entailed, but it was one he wasn't sure if he liked or not.
"Though, as much as I shit on this place," Will continued, taking a deep breath in and out as he glanced over the building that was frozen in time, "it still holds some value in my life that I don't think I'd ever change."
This was a place Will missed. This was a place that held memories that had absolutely nothing to do with Nico. This was a place outside of his reach, and no mater how jealous it made him, he couldn't do anything about it. Nico knew he was selfish when it came to Will, but he didn't realise just how bad it was that he would be mad at a building.
"But it's whatever now," Will shook away, smiling as he grabbed Nico's hand, giving it a squeeze as they continued on.
They passed a church, the one Nico remembered from their first time coming into town. Will explained how his grandma used to take him to mass there every Sunday when he was a child.
"It was the most boring thing ever. I genuinely don't know how people do it."
Nico smiled at that.
"You and me both."
Up and down the tiny streets, Will would point out some houses and stories he knew about the people who lived there. The girl who was homeschooled and tried to kill her cat, the family that always put out full Christmas displays in September, and the house every kid swore was haunted.
The stories came to life as Will went over each of them, bringing in new and exciting moments in time with each passing minute. There were memories Will had obviously forgotten that were coming to the surface. But what got Nico was when Will pointed to a tiny house at the end of the street, neatly trimmed bushes that lined the sidewalk, as the house of the boy he first had a crush on.
The deep longing look that rested easy on the blond's face was enough to make Nico's heart squeeze. It was the same pain he got with each of Will's partners before, and it was the same sickening feel he got when he first thought Will hated him.
"We were really good friends in middle school," Will explained, and despite Nico wanting him to shut up and never mention it again, he nodded, telling him to keep going. "The whole, 'wow, you're my best friend, that's why I'm obsessed with you' type of thing. Like, looking back now, it was so obvious I had a crush on him, but at the time, all it did was make me confused.
"He had actually kissed me. That's how I realised that it wasn't just a really close friendship. I remember thinking, 'oh wow, this boy could be my boyfriend,' which was my first mistake, obviously. But… someone found out and spread it to the whole school."
Will frowned. The memory seemed uncomfortable to him, like it was itching from under his skin.
"He ended up moving away the end of eighth grade. Never saw him again. I think someone said he went to conversation therapy when his parents found out."
Nico felt his breath get caught in his throat. For a split second, he was happy that the kid had moved before anything could happen, but the guilt set in when he realised what that meant.
Thankfully for him, that wasn't ever brought up in his household, but he had heard it mention before in the church circle. Parents who swore they would "fix" their kids if they came out to them. And one night, Nico had gone home and did nothing but google conversion therapy. It scared him. While his mother never mentioned it, it was part of the reason he had hid everything away. Just the thought of going through a piece of that made him want to vomit.
And if Will's first crush had to suffer even a second of what he only wished wasn't true, that was nothing to be happy about.
"I'm sorry," was all Nico said, gripping Will's hand tight. The blond squeezing back tighter in response.
"You have nothing to apologize for. Sadly, that's just how things go here. Part of the reason why I left."
As much as Nico wanted to pry, to get as much information about Will's first crush just to prove he was better, he let it go. The sound of cars echoing through the empty spring streets.
In their adventure, they cut through a small park, a single swing set laid barren. It was old and rusted and looked untouched for years. Nico wondered if it could even support the weight of a child anymore without giving way.
When they came out on the other side, they were met with a loud, screechy voice, saying, "Holy shit, is that Will Solace?"
Their attention was brought to a shorter man at the end of a driveway, covered in mud and grease. He had tattered overalls and a dishevelled toolbelt at his side. Wiping his hands on some smudgy gray cloth, he walked to the end of the driveway and stopped.
"Jesus Christ, it is."
As Nico started to worry, his hand still slipped in Will's, he was caught off guard by a smile growing ear to ear on Will's glowing face.
"Leo? Jesus, dude, that you?"
"My guy!"
Will dragged Nico with him as he went up to the man. He let go of Nico's hand to embrace the man – Leo. There was nothing but absolute joy as they tightly hugged one another, patting at each others back like old friends. Nico tried to rack his mind of a Leo, but no one came to mind.
"I did not expect to see you today," Leo spoke, pulling away. He was quite a bit shorter than Will and probably an inch or two below Nico. His ears pointed at the tips, almost elf like. He had curly, unruly hair and spoke with a slight accent that Nico could only place as Spanish.
"Yeah," Will said, almost breathless, "you could say that again."
"What are you doing in town? Didn't you leave for the big city?"
Will nodded, fixing his hair a bit as they backed away from one another. Leo tossed his cloth, now even more stained with grease, behind him. It landed next to an old Durango that was lifted. The engine was exposed and music blared from inside the garage that was open. It was obvious he was working on the old car before they passed by.
"Yeah, I did. But I'm back visiting my mom for the weekend."
"Ah, you're a city slicker now. Leaving all of us behind, I see."
They both laughed.
Nico wasn't sure what to do so he continued to stand off to the side, watching the two go back and forth. For once, Will didn't look self conscious about seeing someone he knew.
"Don't do me like that," Will laughed.
Leo waved as he started to jog to the radio, turning it down.
"There, that should be better." He went back to where the two were standing and gave Will one more once over. "Wow, it's like seeing a ghost."
"Trust me, you aren't the only one."
"How long you in town for?"
"Just until the end of the week."
"Sheesh, not givin' us anytime to see your beauty. I get it."
Will rolled his eyes, but was smiling.
Leo now looked over at Nico, scanning him up and down.
"Who's the guy?" he asked. There wasn't any malice behind the question like he was expecting, but it still left Nico holding his breath.
"Ah," Will exclaimed, reaching out his hand and grabbing Nico's. "This is my boyfriend, Nico."
Nico raised his other hand in a half-hearted wave, forcing a smile. He wasn't shy, he was just a little awkward around people he really didn't know.
"Dude," Leo started, shaking his head, "he's too good for you."
Will kicked the ground at Leo, earning a high-pitched snicker from him.
"Fuck off."
Leo continued to laugh.
"As long as you aren't no asshole, I couldn't give two shits, my guy. Also look at him. He dresses better than you."
Nico smiled. As much as Leo seemed slightly off-putting with his eyes being slightly too wide at times and his constant need to twitch his fingers like he was playing an invisible piano, he didn't seem like too bad of a guy.
"Okay, you don't have to come for my fashion sense."
"I'll say, he usually dresses better," Nico cut in, "but I have no idea what he's wearing now."
"Don't worry," Leo leaned in and stage-whispered, "one day he'll get the memo that camo has never been in fashion."
"Can you two stop teaming up on me?"
"Never," Nico spoke, smiling as he squeezed Will's hand. The blond sent him a soft smile.
"You still working in your old man's shop?" Will asked, trying to change the subject. It seemingly worked as Leo perked up, forgetting about what was spoke only seconds ago.
"Yeah, he got me hauling parts all day. Working on this one beauty right now in shop. Nineteen-eighty-seven mustang. You should hear her purr."
Will let out a low whistle.
"Original body?"
"Oh, you best believe she's all natural. Everything down to her leather stitching is factory. You won't believe the lengths old people will go to keep their cars looking as good as the day they bought them. 'S so scared the entre thing was going to be covered in rust, but just getting under her was like a heavenly experience."
"What I would give for that."
"Hey, you still got that old Ford kicking around?" Leo asked, crossing his arm.
"Yeah, she's in the garage at the farm."
Nico rolled his eyes.
"She still run?" Leo pressed.
"I doubt it," Nico muttered.
As Will was about snap back in defense like he usually did, Leo laughed.
"You gotta let me come work on her."
"She runs," Will said, more to himself than to anyone.
"I bet she does, but she needs work. What she got going?
"She's running on her original engine."
It was Leo's turn to let out a low whistle.
"Sounds like she's gonna need a tune up. What year?"
Will took in a deep breath as he thought about it.
"Ninety-four if I recall."
Nodding his head, Leo said, "She must be rusted, my guy. She just been sitting in the garage the whole time your gone?"
"Yeah, pretty much. Ma hates her."
"What is it, six-cylinder engine, first year of the four-point-nine I-six model?"
"Sound's about right."
"You have to let me swing by some time and fix her up. I think one of the junk yards has a year up model laying around. Probably can swipe it for nothing and get her running like brand new. Get Naomi her old farm truck back."
Will laughed.
"I think she would enjoy that. And I know for sure she would get a kick out of having you around again."
"Listen man, I love your mom. She makes the best apple pie – have you had his mother's apple pie?"
Nico shook his head. Now he was intrigued.
"Well, you better go back there and beg her to make it. It is the single greatest thing I have ever consumed. Don't tell my Abuela I said that."
"It's actually my grandma's old recipe."
Leo smirked and shook his head.
"If there's one thing old, racist white women can do, it's bake."
"Trust me, the best part of her coming over was the baking."
"Those gingersnaps you brought to school in the third grade? Unforgettable."
"I'll get ma to type up the recipe and send it your way. If you fix up the truck, I doubt she'll have an issue with it."
"I am literally in love with you, my dude." Leo glance over at Nico before adding, "No homo, though." He paused. "Okay, a little homo. But that's besides the point."
"Sure, whatever. Hey, we gotta get going, though."
"Oh, god yeah. I totally just pulled you away from your boyfriend who probably think's I'm fucking insane. All this car talk, he probably think's we're out of our minds. I'll let you guys get to it."
"I'll text you later. I'll let ma know and tell you what she says."
"Please. What I would do for that pie. Anyways," Leo turned to Nico, "he does anything wrong, let me know."
"Leo," Will warned, only a little give wavering in his voice.
"I'm serious. This guy is obviously way out of your league so don't ask me how you pulled him, Will. He messes up, you let me know and I'll treat you right."
Nico couldn't help but laugh. There was something about Will's friends from Texas that started to make sense the more he learned about them. He was more curious than ever to meet Lou and Cecil if this was just one of his casual friends from school.
"Leo, you're not gay."
"So? It's all about the vibes, my guy. And besides, ehh… everything is up for debate."
Rolling his eyes, Will shook his head.
"Alright, before you try and steal Nico from me, we're gonna get going. You free Thursday?"
"Think I'm at the shop, why?"
"Cecil's. We're throwing a small bush party."
"Oh, count me in. I never miss an opportunity to hang in Markowitz's backyard."
"Perfect, I'll let them know you're coming."
Leo held up a peace sign as Will waved.
"I'm serious, Nico. Anytime!"
"Stop hitting on him," Will shouted as they continued down the sidewalk, the blaring music cutting back in as they went out of view.
Nico hadn't seen Will this involved with someone since they came to town. Every public place, there was always something holding him back, but with Leo, it was as if there wasn't a care in the world. He spoke, without hesitation, about Nico being his boyfriend, proudly holding his hand the entire time. Maybe thing's weren't that bad.
"I think Leo would get along really well with Piper and Jason," Nico chimed in.
"You think?"
"Oh yeah. But I do think Hazel wouldn't hesitate to hit him, though."
Laughing, Will agreed.
"We for sure have to introduce them, now."
…
Tuesday night was anything but quiet.
Even with the old farmhouse only holding three occupants, laughter and music rang from all cracks of the walls.
Naomi had thrown together something quick and easy for supper, allowing for Nico and Will to "help" out with the prep. While it was mostly chopping up various vegetables, it managed to become a guessing game of how many actually made it to the meal that weren't eaten or dropped on the floor. Will had even convinced his mother to pick up the things needed for her apple pie, that dish being set on his mind since his run-in with Leo earlier.
"Hey, darlin'," Naomi called out to her son as she sat on the couch, turning to face him.
Will paused in the kitchen, two glasses in hand as he turned to his mother.
"Hmm?"
"Can you do me a favour, dear?"
"What's up?" he asked, bringing the drinks he had gotten for himself and Nico. The dark-haired boy thanked his boyfriend as he took the glass, sipping the sweetened tea.
"I just got a call from Charles' mother, you remember Charles?"
Will pondered for a moment, scanning to figure out why the name rang a bell. When it hit him, he nodded.
"Yeah, his dad was the shop teacher, right?"
Nodding, Naomi took a sip of her wine.
"I completely forgot I had promised to pick up the eggs from her tonight." She set her glass down, it rested almost empty as Will raised a brow. "When she called and I told her you were visiting, my God, boy, I swear she near passed out. Told me you had to stop by before you left."
"You want me to stop by and pick them up for you?"
"I have been drinking," she said with a smirk.
Rolling his eyes, Will sighed.
"Fine," he started, heading over to the kitchen counter where they car keys rested. "She still live in the same place?"
"Yeah, just make sure you look out for the sign before you turn in."
"Got it," he called out, walking back over and kissing Nico on the top of his head before heading over to the door. Slipping on his shoes, he said, "Just so you know, if you wanted to hang with Nico without me here, you could have just asked."
She laughed as she waved him off.
"Be safe. Too many wild animals are out and about."
"I'll try. See you in a bit," Will called as he shut the door behind him.
Nico couldn't help but laugh. He knew Naomi was trying to get Will out and he didn't mind. He had actually been wanting to speak with her one on one. He was so fascinated by her and everything she did, it was only a matter of time before one of them pushed Will away for a moment. He had already been so embarrassed when she pulled out the baby pictures on the first night.
"I love that boy, but by god does he always have to have the last word in some times," she sighed, smiling. She reached for her drink and finished it off. Nico sat on the other end of the couch, sipping his sweet tea.
"Tell me about it," he mumbled back, earning a hardy laugh from the singer. Her voice was so light and musical, it sounded like a sign of good fortune. It also held qualities that Nico noticed from Will's laugh. Naomi's voice truly felt like home.
Naomi got up and headed to the kitchen and stared to pour another glass.
"You want one?" she asked, raising the bottle towards Nico.
He thought for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. "Sure, why not."
"Good choice."
She dug around the cabinets before she pulled out another wine glass. For someone who had enough wealth to live extremely comfortably, she lived very homely. The glass looked nothing special, maybe even older than himself. One thing he admired about Naomi was that she had raised Will to not be dependant on her financial security. He might never have ever worried about money, but he didn't take it for granted either.
As she poured him a glass, she spoke.
"So, Will told me you play a bit?" She nodded over towards the grand piano that rested in the living room.
Nico shifted and took a deep breath in.
"A little? I was forced into piano a bit when I was younger, but I never really stuck to it," he explained.
Naomi nodded as she handed him the glass, settling back down on the couch with all her natural grace. Even in her older age, she was breathtaking. A part of Nico wished he could have seen her in her youth before she had Will. It made sense why his birth was such a big deal in the music scene at the time.
"And guitar?" she asked. She leaned back and took a slow sip before continuing. "Lester was telling me about how you play? That too?"
Nico nodded and nursed his drink a bit.
"I've actually been trying to get back into it. For a while, I really put it off, but about a year ago something made me start to pick it up again. I'm not the best, but slowly I've been getting better."
"What are your plans for when you graduate?"
"What?" Nico snapped to attention. He felt Naomi watching him, looking him over as she leaned back. Everything she did took little to no effort and drilling him about his future was nothing for her.
"Your plans? For once you graduate?"
"Umm," Nico hummed, fiddling with the base of his cup as if it was the most interesting thing in the room. "I really don't know, if I'm being honest."
"Have you applied anywhere for college?"
Shaking his head, he kept his gaze down.
"No, I haven't. Honestly, I don't even know what I would do if I went."
"Do you have any passions?"
Nico bit his lip. Did he have any passions? The harder he thought about it, the more he realised he really didn't know what he liked. He had always thought that in the end his dad would make him do law school. That it wasn't something to consider, it was just expected.
But instead of something demanding to know why he hadn't applied, Naomi was simply asking his passions, and that was something he hadn't really considered.
"I…" As he tried to speak, his words fell flat before they could even pass as thoughts. He really didn't know what he liked. "I don't know."
Naomi didn't press him nor did she turn the conversation away. She simply sat there, giving him the space he needed to think.
It was comforting. He loved his own mother, but there weren't times like this. Nico couldn't figure out if it was because Naomi had such a motherly aura about her or she was just easy to talk to, but Nico's heart hurt. It was something just out of reach, but he was finally getting the attention he had so desperately wanted from his own mom; the way she used to treat him.
"I mean," Nico tried to speak again, having no idea where his thoughts were going. "I guess the plan was Will and I were going to try to go to the same place, but I am nowhere near smart enough to get accepted to Duke and that's where his mind is set."
"Are you wanting to go there?"
Nico looked up and watched her. She held steady and calm, waiting for him to speak.
"What do you mean?"
"Are you wanting to go to Duke?"
Nico shrugged.
"I don't know."
"Are you wanting to go to college?"
"I don't know," he answered again. And it was true, he really had no idea. "I mean, I probably should, you know? But it's expensive so I was planning on working-"
"If money wasn't an issue," she cut in, "would you go?"
Nico had to think about it. He never once thought about college without any restrictions. Nico had always thought of it as needing to know what you wanted so you didn't waste your time, money, and effort, but if those weren't issues? Would he go?
"If money wasn't an issue," he started slowly. Why was that such a hard thing to imagine? "If money wasn't an issue," he repeated, "maybe. I guess it would depend if I found something I would want to study – and if I even got in."
Naomi simply nodded again, slowly working on her drink.
"But for now, I'm just planning on taking a year off." Nico straightened his back and downed a huge gulp of his drink. He had drunk wine plenty of times, but he had never really been a big fan of the flavour. And he always had it with his family. Or that one time with Piper.
"Taking time out to figure out what you want to do is a perfectly valid plan. I told Will he should give himself a little bit more time, but he's dead set on jumping right in after graduation."
"Oh, I am well aware. You should have seen him when we visited the campus this summer. He had his entire life planned out." Nico paused. He wasn't sure how much he could open up to Naomi about his feelings, especially about his relationship with her son. "If I'm going to be honest, I feel a little lost compared to him."
"How so?"
"I love Will, I really do, but he has everything he wants to do figured out. And while that's amazing, I feel completely in the dark about everything. Most times I wake up and I don't even know what I'm doing, but Will…"
Naomi nodded and finished off her drink.
"I understand. Will has always needed things figured out to the last detail. As much as I wish I could blame that on his father, that one is all on me. Sometimes it's scary to think about how much he's like me."
Nico couldn't help but smile. He saw so much of Naomi in Will and vise versa. There was no doubt in his mind that they were mother and son.
"Thank you," Nico spoke, his voice low.
"For what?"
"For… for listening to me." He wanted to nervous laugh, but he was doing everything in his control to keep it together because if he didn't, he was scared he was going to start crying.
"Any time, Nico."
"Seriously." Nico took in a deep breath and let out a shaky breath. "I don't have the best relationship with my parents, so talking with you really helped."
Without another word, Naomi pulled him into a hug. Normally Nico would pull away or tense under the touch, but he held on to her, tight. Scared, that if he let go, he wouldn't be allowed the contact again.
Much like Will, it was warm and inviting. For Nico, Will felt like home, but it was much different from the way Naomi also felt like home. Where Will was late night conversations, late night rants, and muted laughter, scared to get caught, Naomi was a kiss on the head when things got too stressful, a hug when he hurt, and warm, welcoming arms. Naomi was home in the way a house is meant to protect you.
After much time, Nico was the one to pull away. Naomi wiped away a single stray tear that managed to find its way out of Nico's eye.
"C'mon," she started, voice low and gentle, "let's do something fun before we both start crying."
With a wide smile, Nico nodded, following her as he finished off his glass and setting it on the coffee table.
….
When Will returned home, an hour later with his hands full of more than just farm eggs, Nico and Naomi were in the kitchen, laughing.
"What did you two get up to?" he asked, setting down not only the eggs, but several small containers of baked goods and vegetables from the Beckendorfs' garden.
"Your mom showed me your little height chart," Nico said, his ears tinted red. "You were so small as a child. I literally cannot believe it."
Will rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"Really?"
"What?" his mother asked, shrugging. "If you won't let me embarrass you to your boyfriend while you're here, then please let me do it while you're gone."
"Can you not either way?"
"No can do."
Will sighed and made his way over to his boyfriend. Even though he was never worried, it was such a relief that Nico and his mother got along so well. He knew Nico needed her in his life, and it was seemingly working.
"And!" his mother started, setting aside what he could only guess to be her third or fourth glass of wine to the side. "You did not tell me how good of a piano player Nico is."
"Did you play for my mother?"
Nico smiled and looked away.
"It took a lot of convincing, but my god was it worth it."
"Okay, now I'm jealous," Will said, hip checking Nico who matched him back.
"It's embarrassing playing for you," he explained.
"And it isn't for my mom?"
"It wasn't much."
"Don't kid yourself, Nico. It was incredible."
Will watched as Nico's face lit up. He knew his boyfriend couldn't take compliments that well.
"Alright," Naomi stated, "it's getting late and I am exhausted so I'm going to head off to bed. I don't care if you two stay up, just know I'm about to pass out. Good night both of you - and thank you so much darlin' for grabbing those for me."
"No problem, ma," Will said. "I'll put everything away before we head up."
Smiling, Naomi nodded. She went around and gave both boys a kiss on the forehead before retiring to her room for the night.
"You and my mom have a good time?" Will asked as he started to put away the goods.
Nico nodded.
"I really like your mom."
"I'm glad."
They worked in silence, Will humming gently as they put away everything from the day. Nico even ended up doing the few dishes they had dirty from that evening.
While it wasn't exactly sundown yet, the early twilight was already creeping in and casting the farm in shadows.
…..
When Will and Nico finally called it a night, ready for bed and everything, the darkened night creeped into the room. No longer long shadows, but the pale light from the moon dusting the silent fields, feigned with an occasional bellow of a creature lurking in the woods.
Their movements were fluid and ever shy of one another. Will had slipped into the bathroom to brush his teeth after Nico made his exit.
When Nico got back to Will's room, he let in a deep breath, exhaling into the private darkness of the room. He wasn't particularly tired, but his strength was weening. Shrugging off his pants, he slipped into his tattered pajama pants that his mother had sewn up one too many times to admit. They had been his favourite and he refused to let her throw them out.
Shaking off his shirt next, he ran a smooth hand over his chest, scratching at a small itch. It wasn't particularly cold but the chill in the air sent a small wave of goose bumps flush over his skin.
Earlier in the year Nico had tried working out, wanting to feel more comfortable in his own skin, but it still felt alien when he stared in the mirror. The lean muscle that stretched under his skin was toned and made him feel out of place. Like the person staring back at him was someone else.
Will's mirror wasn't enough to see anything besides his upper half, but even in the weary moonlight, it was enough to register himself.
Will was right, he thought. He needed a haircut.
Nico pulled at the tips of his hair that ghosted just below his jaw when the door creaked open.
"Last time I had my hair this long," Nico started, not paying attention to the sound of Will shifting into the room. He heard the tossing of clothing into the hamper. "Bianca, she used to braid it."
"Mhm."
Nico took a deep breath when he felt Will's head on his shoulder, his hair itching his bare skin. The blond's hands wrapped around his midriff, pulling Nico closer to his own exposed chest. The warmth was therapeutic, drawing him into the touch of Will that he could so easily get high off of.
Will had a more muscular frame than him, but he also was naturally bigger than him. To Nico, all of Will's proportions made sense, all the way down to slightly crooked teeth – despite the years of braces.
He rested his head back, letting Will take more of his body weight in his arms. Just the faint sound of Will's breathing echoed his ears, the pounding of his own heart flooding the rest of his senses.
Will pressed his lips the Nico's shoulder, earning a small sigh from his boyfriend. Nico closed his eyes, leaning more and more into Will's touch. He could melt by his stare alone, the feeling of his skin on his own could kill him instantly.
A small hum came from Will as he pressed soft, gentle kisses to the area, nothing more than small pecks. The touch was just light enough to leave Nico on the verge of an itch, but he wanted nothing more than to keep it going.
When Will paused for a moment, Nico opened his eyes and watched as Will met his gaze through lidded eyes. Neither of them spoke but Nico had never felt more exposed. Will's piercing eyes still held the blue of daytime, even in the darkest of nights. His pale hair just casting a shadow on his bone structure. Will could tell him to do anything, and if he was giving him that glance, he couldn't help but say yes.
Will broke away first as he pressed a few more kisses to his shoulder then slowly made his way up Nico's neck. At first, it shocked him, sending a wave up his spine, but soon it melted into pleasure. When Will had reached his jaw, the kisses no longer were meek and gentle.
Nico felt his heart pick up, slowly feeling himself get carried away as Will laid multiple kisses to the underside of his jaw. He moved to the back of Nico's neck, pressing warm lips behind his ear. Unwrapping one of his arms from around him, Will pushed Nico's hair to the side to get better access to more skin. Nico turned his head to help.
When it started to get to the point where Nico needed more, needed Will to touch him more than just his lips to his neck, he turned. When he did, Will paused, letting his hand ghost just barely away from his waist.
"Hi," Will spoke, his voice deep and collected.
Nico ran a hand up Will's chest, feeling each grove with his own fingers. He loved the way Will's muscles moved and shifted under his touch. Will rested his hand back, the surge of heat being a warmly welcomed sensation from its momentary absence.
It was seconds before Will's lips were back to Nico's neck, earning a sigh from Nico's parted lips. Nico gripped Will's side at the touch, leaving a mark from his nails. Instead of pulling back at the sudden pain, Will pulled him closer.
As Will worked his way up Nico's neck once again, he was no longer being gentle, leaving small marks as he went.
Nico's entire body was on fire as he sunk further into Will's touch. He should have been cold but every inch of exposed skin was burning. He needed more.
It was a bit messy, but they managed to back up, the back of Will's knees hitting the bed.
Nico let out a low whine as Will scraped his teeth along his skin. It was enough for Will to pull him closer, dragging him with him as he sunk down on the bed. It wasn't the most comfortable, but they were quick to reposition themselves.
Will leaned against the wall as Nico crawled onto the bed, needing the contact from the blond again.
As he straddled Will's lap, the blond practically clawing at him for touch, the first sign of panic started to set in. Even though the small voice was sending a wave of anxiety through his veins, Will's touch washed it away.
Will traced his fingers along Nico's skin, earning a small noise coming from the back of Nico's throat. Will's touch was toxic and he wanted nothing more than to die by his hands.
"You're so beautiful," Will spoke, his gaze soft. Even though Nico felt exposed, he felt safe in Will's grasp. He didn't know how to respond, so he took Will's hand and brought it to cheek. He leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. Will didn't show any sign of moving. When Nico opened his eyes, Will's gaze was still on him.
Nico brought his hands down, no longer holding Will's to his face, but the blond's hand stayed. Will cupped his jaw, running his thumb over his cheek. It was such a small act, but Nico could stay there forever.
Trailing his hand down, Will ran his thumb over Nico's lips, still holding his face in his hands. He parted his boyfriend's lips, watching him through hooded lids. Even in the shadow of the moonlight, Will knew there was no one else as beautiful, and he made that very obvious.
Leaning forward, he took Nico's lips in his own, holding his side with his hand. Every touch from Will was like the first time, an exhilarating rush coursing through his veins.
At first, the kiss was gentle, but it soon become desperate, both needing more than what was being provided.
Nails scrapped against skin and lips were being bitten. Both boys were holding back, but as each second passed, neither knew how long they could keep to themselves.
Nico was the first to break as he pulled back, to Will's protest.
"Nico," Will spoke, but was quickly shut up when Nico pushed him back. He repositioned himself and his head was now resting on one of the pillows as Nico leaned over him, holding himself up by his own arms.
The blond's hair was sprawled out beneath and Nico couldn't help but see him as nothing but holy.
When Will's hands came up and rested on his hip bone, the second wave of panic started. It was a feeling of excitement the quickly became overpowered by guilt. But he wanted to push past it, to help relieve the pressure that was quickly escalating in his own pants.
Nico leaned down and took Will's lips back into his own, quickly opening his lips and pushing Will's open. The blond was happy to comply, his nails digging into Nico's skin as he pulled him down closer.
Nico took Will by the back of his neck, needing that control as he pulled the blond's head up towards him. Will understood perfectly well, leaning forward himself to meet him. He took Nico by his beck, also, running his hands through his hair as Nico continued to explore every inch of his mouth. When Will pulled gently at Nico's hair, the younger man moaned into his mouth, digging his nails into the blond's skin. Will smirked into the kiss at the noise, doing it again but not as hard. When Nico produced a similar muffled noise, the blond said, "Good boy."
That shot every thought Nico had straight to his crotch, but just as he was about to fully dive into the lust, a third wave of anxiety pinged him. He wanted nothing more than to push it away, to tell himself that there was nothing to worry about.
He pulled away from Will's lips and started to press needy kisses to his neck. He started to suck on a small area just below his jaw, earning a low and gruff moan from the back of the blond's throat.
Will bit his lip, stifling the next wave of noises that threatened to escape from his lips. Nico felt as Will's hands started to move up from his hips, working their way over his chest. With each touch, Nico felt his need to release himself grow. It was nearly unbearable when Will ran his hands across Nico's back, his nails scraping the entire way down.
When Will's fingers started to dip before his waistband, the urge to puke skyrocketed. The twist of pleasure from his crotch moved up into his stomach and made him extremely nauseous. With each second that passed with Will's hands slowly going deeper into his pajama pants, Nico felt the panic grow beyond control.
Pulling back, as if Will's touch was going to burn him, he sat back on his heels, resting on his knees.
At first, Will gave him a very confused look as if he didn't understand what was going on, but he must have seen the panic that was building on Nico's face. Will sat up and repositioned himself, keeping his hands up and well within view of Nico. Slowly, Will brought his hand to the side of Nico's face.
Nico rested into the touch, but not without some hesitancy. It was clear that whatever had occurred, Nico had freaked out and wanted to stop.
When his heartrate started to drop to normal levels and his breathing came to a calm, Nico spoke.
"I'm sorry." His voice was small – scared.
Will smiled. There was a glint in his eye that seemed sad, but his voice as calm and gentle.
"Don't apologize."
"I'm sorry."
"Hey," he spoke again, sitting up completely, "it's okay. I'm sorry, I shouldn't of."
Nico swallowed hard and let out a shaky breath.
He hated this feeling. Every time they got this far, something would come over him and force him to stop. He trusted Will, he knew he wouldn't do him any harm, but still the very touch of the man he loved was enough to send him into a spiral.
Will grabbed the blanket that was disheveled and wrapped it around Nico. It was warm and heavy and it helped center him. Nico's thoughts were starting to focus in again.
"C'mere," Will said, pulling Nico closer.
They sat there, wrapped up in the blankets until the wave of tiredness from the sudden panic overwhelmed him. After a few minutes, Will laid them back down, wrapping his boyfriend up in his arms and blanket.
Nico listened to the rhythm of Will's breathing in contrast to his heartbeat.
Nico replayed the events, mentally kicking himself. He couldn't figure it out. What was holding him back? He wanted this, god, did he want it. But the moment he got close enough for it, he would panic or feel immensely guilty.
And Will would apologize. That's what hurt the most for him. While he appreciated it, Will shouldn't have to deal with his inability to go further. It was a cycle he found himself in: Nico shouldn't blame himself, but at the same time was the only one to blame. He knew if Will was the one to stop, he would do the same, but being the reason hurt almost worse.
What if he couldn't? Would Will leave him? He doubted that, but it was still a nagging fear. What was the reason? Was he different? What was stopping him? He wanted to speak with Will about it, but the possibility of him turning him away because of it was paralyzing.
Nico knew he had to give more credit than he was, but the anxiety was winning out.
It was the feeling of not being enough that seeped into Nico's subconscious as he drifted to sleep, the faint sound of Will's evened breathing lulling him to sleep. His night was dreamless.
A/N: I'm writing and editing this much in advance bc i know for a fact i will not be able to when i usually do it.
As i write this and get to specific scenes, it makes me start to question the direction i want to take this story. i have each chapter planned out from the beginning (which is how i know how long this series will be) but while i have a list of things to check off, it makes me want to change the course of this story. and while its usually small elements, finishing and editing this chapter made me take a step back and rethink if the direction i had originally intended is what works. and While i know i wont be changing it, i think it'll make the final scenes' impact even greater than initially intended.
When I wrote Side Friend, most of it was directionless and i went where i wanted, knowing only the bare bones (if that) of the story, but actually sitting down and planning out this series has been a wild time. reminds me of my love for writing and these characters and just how much work goes into this. its a nice reflection, looking back on my old work especially.
and speaking of old work, i've actually made the decision that I will be rewriting and reworking an old fic of mine
1) republish fully edited and with a more cohesive story
2) publish it under a different name as an actually book
It was a fic i wrote in between side friend in 2016 (sweet jesus) that's story never really left me. and rereading it (yikes it was hard) was a nice reminder of the elements of it i enjoyed. While i don't recommend it (because its rushed and the grammar is atrocious.) its Chiron's School for the Wonderfully Cursed. my least popular fanfic but a story plot i put so much into.
Anyways, that isn't much needed for this already long chapter, but i thought is a nice thing to put out. after Bitter is finished and Sweet is on it's way, i will be working towards a new fic as well, but the story it'll be is still in the air.
Thank you for tuning in, i know its a slow go. but i love hearing from you and if you have any questions, feel free to drop them! I love hearing your thoughts and feelings!
Kitty
