A/N: Guys...I am so so SOOOO sorry this took so long. This chapter was tricky and emotional and I had to get a LOT of input on whether I was going the right way with it or not. Writing in Karina's POV this time around was tough. Not gonna lie. There were several days I sat down, wrote three sentences, and then stared at my document waiting for it to write itself. But I'm hoping a lag like that doesn't happen again. I know it's hard for people following a fic to have to wait for updates, especially when they take that long. Love to you all! And thank you to Kristina, Rebekah, and Mary for all of your input, inspiration, ideas and love. You guys are amazing and I love you all so much!

Chapter Nine

In the cavernous garage of the auto shop, the thunder was nearly as loud as it had been outside, the rain pelting against the tin roof and roaring through the silence. Uncomfortably damp and feeling the chill from the rain starting to seep into her, Karina followed Johnny through the shop towards the back where tools and metal gave way to something more domesticated - couches around a television set, a battered coffee table strewn with automotive magazines and an untitled book lying open and face down beside a can of pop. She could make out a small kitchen to the left, what looked to be a slightly larger gym ot the right and a small hallway to the left of the gym where three doors - two open and one closed - crowded the walls.

Karina clasped her hands in front of her, gripping them together so tightly that she could feel the circulation ebbing away from the tips of her fingers.

Her mind was spinning out of control, emotions she'd never dealt with before overwhelming her. Her confidence from earlier was quickly fading. From the moment Johnny's mouth had brushed hers, something had woken up and surged forward. Something that terrified and excited her. She wanted to reach out and grab him, kiss him again and press her body to his warmth, with startling ferocity. She clasped her hands together more tightly to keep herself from doing just that and kept a safe distance behind him, trying all the while to sort through the confusion.

Lightning flooded the room, causing the lights to flicker and the resounding boom of thunder had her crying out, unintentionally moving closer to Johnny.

Regardless of the confusion, there was one certainty that remained.

Johnny was safe.

"Sounds like it's just gettin' worse out there," he murmured, shrugging out of his leather jacket and tossing it over the arm of the couch. "You want somethin' to drink? Ain't go much. Water mostly."

Karina shook her head. Her gaze stayed fixed on his jacket.

"Hey-."

Johnny's hand closed around hers and she looked up, immediately lost in his warm gaze. "You alright?"

"I don't know," she admitted with an attempt at a smile.

"What's goin' on?"

She lifted a shoulder, trying to look nonchalant. Failing entirely, she knew.

Johnny gave her hand a gentle tug and started leading her out of the living room, towards one of the open doors in the hallway. The room he brought her into was very clearly his. A large bed buried in comfortable looking blankets was tucked in the corner, a dresser sitting against the wall across from it. A nightstand sat beside the bed, the cord of a pair of earbuds dangling off the side. The room was small, leaving little room for moving around but it was cozy - curtains drawn over the one window, band posters cluttering up one wall, a low table and small television sitting in a corner with a gaming console on the floor beside it. Her discomfort eased some and she felt some of the tension slide from her shoulders.

"I'll find a towel for ya. I can throw your shirt in the dryer for a bit, if you want?" he offered.

"That'd be nice. Thanks."

He nodded, then disappeared around the corner. Karina pulled off her sweater, shivering when the cold air hit her bare arms. The tank she wore was still remotely dry and hugged her form, trapping some of the heat from her body but not enough to keep her warm. She looked at her sweater for a moment, then used it like a towel to scrub some of the wetness from her hair.

It didn't do much more than make a tangled mess.

Johnny returned with a towel in his hand, stumbling to a stop when he saw her. His gaze raked over her body and she felt her cheeks warm instantly. The chaos that had ebbed momentarily, came crashing back and she lifted her shirt, trying to hide herself.

"I know. I look different," she muttered, her voice pitiful and edged with a faint bitterness.

"Not in a bad way," Johnny quickly reassured her. His hands were on hers then, gently prying her sweater from her hands. "I'm gonna go toss this in the dryer and then we're going to talk, alright?"

She nodded. There wasn't much else she could do. And talking suddenly appealed to her. The emotions, the constant noise jumbling up her mind was becoming nearly unbearable.

She went to his bed, flopping down on it with a frustrated sigh. She grabbed one thin blanket about to slip off the bed and pulled it up over her shoulders. Immediately Johnny's scent was around her - male, a hint of dark spice, comforting. She twisted a fist around the blanket, holding it to her face and breathing in deeply. It calmed her.

Johnny came back in with a towel, offering her a smile and joining her on the bed. He handed her the towel but gave her space, which seemed ridiculous to her. A half an hour ago she'd had a leg over his, her arms around his neck, her mouth moving over his.

Ridiculous...but she appreciated it. She could think a little more clearly without him so close.

"What are you thinking, Karina?"

She looked up at him, captured by the warmth of his deep golden eyes. Everything tumbled out of her.

"Too many things. My head is just...filled with all this confusing stuff that I don't understand. And it scares me," she finished in a near whisper. Johnny inched closer. She reached out, taking his hand.

"I was really limited to specific things like heartache, understanding, insane bursts of short lived euphoria. I was always holding her back, trying to show her love and compassion. Everything else was way out of my league. I could stand back and observe but feeling any of it...that wasn't who I was. Now that I can feel all of it...it's really confusing. It's so strange to be able to feel everything. And I have no idea what to do with it all. Besides get a headache. And maybe...kiss you more."

Johnny grinned. "Can't really argue with that. Wouldn't that make things worse, though?"

"Not..um...not while it's happening." She could feel heat flaming her cheeks and huffed a frustrated sigh. "Okay...I'm really not good at this."

"I think you're better than you think you are."

"You're just saying that because you like me."

"You're right." He eliminated the space between them, reaching up and catching her chin between his fingertips. "I do like you. But that's not why I said it. When I started out with Moon, he had me playin' the piano. I hadn't done it since I was a kid and even then it was pretty basic. Ms. Crawley started givin' me lessons." He shook his head, smiling a little. "It was...embarassin' how bad I was. And she didn't hold punches either. I was bad and she agreed. Took me forever, days and weeks of feelin' so uncomfortable that I about walked out...but things finally started to click. I know that's not the best comparison-."

"It works," Karina reassured him with a smile.

His fingers drifted over her cheek, tucking a strand of damp hair away from her face. "Things'll start to click, Karina. Might take a while...but they will."

"Any idea how to speed the process along?" she asked, only half joking. The idea of getting to a place where her own emotions didn't confuse the hell out of her anymore certainly held a large amount of appeal.

"Maybe. What kinda things do you remember likin'?"

"I'm not really sure I...liked anything. Or was able to like anything. It was stuff she liked that brought her joy. Like dancing. Oh, and haunted houses, reading, sitting out in the middle of nowhere with a cup of coffee and just enjoying the silence, horseback riding-."

She stopped at the slightly horrified look on Johnny's face and couldn't help laughing. "Okay...so where I used to be...animals were animals. They didn't talk, or walk. They weren't active members in society. They were just...there. As pets, mostly."

"That's...yeah, I can't really wrap my head around that one," he mumbled.

"Horseback riding is probably out of the picture then, huh?"

The horrified look intensified and she laughed again, relieved that doing so came so easily. "I was kidding! Calm down. Jeez, if you think that's bad, I probably shouldn't tell you about how we would ea-."

"Stop!" he yelped, covering her mouth with his hand. "Just stop."

She did, but she was still smiling. Teasing felt so much better than mulling over everything that just confused her. He moved his hand, his fingers drifting over her cheekbone and her heart tripped.

"Gimme some time and I'll figure out a way to get...most of that...to happen," he vowed softly.

"Thank you" Karina whispered. "I want to tell you that you really don't need to do any of this…"

"But?" he prompted when she fell silent.

"But I know you would say 'I know' and do it anyway. And I'm just-." She drew a staggering breath, caught off guard by the sudden sting of tears and grasp his hand. "I'm glad I'm not facing this alone anymore."

She leaned up, intending only to give him a quick kiss of gratitude but instead, his arm came around her waist and he slowly deepened the kiss. His warmth drew her in and she wrapped her arms loosely around his neck, sliding her fingers through his hair and silently marveling over the silky texture of it.

Lust prowled restlessly, eager to gain control but there was something in the way he kissed her, a sweet innocence, that seemed to keep it in check. There was something more to the way he held her, the silent promise of safety, that lust couldn't touch.

His hand slipped away from her face to her shoulder and the blanket wrapped around her slid away, leaving her skin bare to his touch. In that one simple act, in the sudden feel of his rough fingertips over her shoulder, lust found an escape and screamed its way free before she could even understand what was happening. And as before, it was easy - giving herself up to the one thing that dominated every other emotion. It required no thought, just acting.

She twisted her body to fit herself more closely to him, moaned softly and deepened the kiss further, craving him in a way that was almost terrifying in its ferocity.

Johnny's fingers traced over her collarbone, to the strap of her tank top which had fallen aside slightly. She thought he would pull it down, maybe tear the clothing away entirely and leave nothing between them. Instead, his hand left her skin and he grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around her again before he pulled back, breathing heavily.

"What is it?" she asked, self conscious without the distraction of his mouth. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No!" He grasped her shoulders, kissing her quickly. He rested his forehead against hers and shook his head. "No, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why did you stop? Don't you want to-?"

This time he nodded, swallowing hard. "I do. But I'm not that kinda guy. I'm not gonna take advantage of you like that."

"Like that…" she repeated, her brows furrowing. "I don't understand."

He took her face between his hands. "I'm not gonna ignore what you're goin' through just to sleep with you. I'm not like that. I like you too much to do somethin' like that. Did you think-?"

He let the sentence hang. There was enough there, just under the surface, for her to understand that what little she knew of lust and what she'd witnessed may not have been entirely...accurate. Her stomach dropped as she was struck with a horrifying realization.

All she knew was what it looked like to be taken advantage of. She was used to watching someone get taken advantage of. Used to watching her get used up, to watching her give in without a fight. It never occurred to Karia that what happened between a man and a woman maybe wasn't supposed to be like that.

"We should get you somethin' to drink," Johnny suggested, watching her carefully. "You look like you're about to be sick."

Karina could only manage a nod because that's exactly how she felt. Her stomach turned and she forcefully pushed away images of what she could remember intimacy looking like.

No...not intimacy.

Intimacy was something passionate - full of trust and meaning. Something comforting.

Whatever she'd experienced before...that harshness and cruelty - that was something entirely different.

She held on tightly to Johnny's hand as he helped her up and lead her to a small kitchen separated from the living room by a counter. He took a bottle of water from the fridge, handed it to her, then went to the couch and let her sit first before sitting down next to her.

Karina twisted the top off the bottle and took a small sip, the cool rush of fluid easing the sick feeling from her throat. After a few more sips, she capped the bottle and set it aside. With a sigh, she dropped her head back against the couch. "I am really...really starting to hate the roller coaster feel of all of this. Amnesia actually doesn't sound too bad right about now."

Johnny gave her a sympathetic look. "I can't even begin to imagine. You gonna be alright?"

"Maybe. I just…" She turned her head to regard him skeptically. "Are you sure you want to help me through all of this?"

His took her hand. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'm not about to give up on ya just 'cuz you're learnin' how to be a person."

The way he said it brought a smile to her face. "Even if every time we kiss I get carried away too fast and throw myself at you?"

He thought about it for a minute. "Well, I guess we'll just have to keep workin' on that. I mean, if we gotta spend more time kissin' so I can help you learn how to control all the emotional stuff, I guess that's what I have to do."

Karina huffed a tiny laugh and leaned against him, snuggling into his side and wrapping her arm loosely around him. She could feel lust prowling again, anxious for release, and she fought it back, understanding a little bit better now how a simple touch under the right circumstances could provoke it. Understanding even better that a decent man who respected the woman he was with wouldn't seize the opportunity and have her flat on her back. A decent man would drape an arm over her shoulders, prop his feet up on the coffee table and turn on the television to check the weather.

The thunder rolled in continuous waves that were noticeable now that the hormones were starting to ebb. On the television, the weather switched to the local news, a running marquee along the bottom keeping the general public up to date on the subsiding threat of the storm. Johnny turned the volume down before tossing the remote on the coffee table. He shifted to the side, allowing her a chance to lay more fully against him. He laced his fingers through hers and started running his thumb lazily over her knuckles. Pleasure and relaxation furled through her like fog sliding off a lake.

In the stillness, she could take the opportunity to look back on the past several hours and try rationalizing everything that had happened. Not that there would be a whole lot of rationalizing. Johnny had explained it so perfectly - she was learning how to be a person. As simple as the statement was, the implication implied confusion. She knew she couldn't run from facing everything anymore. She had to face it, to go through the maelstrom of emotions she was now responsible for, and figure out how exactly she was supposed to use them, all the while wishing it was much easier than it probably would be.

With a small, frustrated sigh, she snuggled closer to Johnny and shut the questioning voices down. She'd had enough of them for one day.

After a while, the sound of rain drumming relentlessly against the roof slowed.

"Nana's not gonna get mad at you for comin' home late again, is she?" Johnny asked.

Karina shrugged, not really knowing whether or not Nana was even aware that she'd been home as late as she had the night before. "I don't know. She didn't say anything about last night. I should probably get home, though."

Johnny hummed his agreement but made no move to get up. He lifted her hand and studied it with a bemused smile, turning it one way, and then another.

Karina watched him without speaking until she felt a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "What?"

"Nothin'. I just…"

"Just what?" she asked, sitting up.

"You're just so different. Not in a bad way," he added quickly. "Interesting."

"Interesting," she repeated, her brows furrowing and that smile tugging even harder.

"Mhmm." He lifted his gaze from her hands to her face. His eyes were a warm shade of brown, flecks of amber turning them a deep honey color that she found herself captured by again. "Extremely interesting." His hand released hers, moved to her face and traced the curve of her chin. "Incredible."

Her breath caught when his thumb brushed her bottom lip.

"Think I can pull this off without startin' anything?"

"Maybe," she replied breathlessly. "Possibly."

"What happened last time that…" he stopped and nodded a bit, hinting at the last time they'd kissed without saying anything more.

"Your hand," she managed to explain, leaning closer to him. "On my skin. That seemed to do it."

"Well, we can't have that."

And suddenly he was up, leaving her and disappearing down the hallway. Karina blinked and frowned. "I...um...okay-."

He returned, her sweater in hand and she laughed a little, standing and taking it from him with a quiet "thank you."

"Might help," he offered as an explanation.

She pulled it on over her head, humming softly as she was suddenly cocooned in warmth. It was a delicious feeling, wearing clothes right out of the dryer. She savored it, lifting her hands to her face and inhaling the lingering scent of the dryer clinging to the fabric.

"New experience?" Johnny asked with a grin.

She nodded, hunching her shoulders in an attempt to absorb more of the heat. "This is amazing. Nana has people to do the laundry so it's always folded or hung up in the closet. I might have to start doing my own laundry."

Johnny's hands went to her hips and he pulled her close, one arm going around her waist. "There you go again," he murmured. "Bein' all interesting."

She dropped her hands, laying them against his chest. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Nah."

He closed what little distance there was between them, his mouth finding hers as one hand lifted between them and held her hands where they were. Karina remained very still, having little faith in her ability to hold back. But that tenderness from earlier was there, that quiet security that refused to let a baser lust control the moment. Karina melted against him with a sigh, trusting him.

He pulled away slowly, leaving her with two brief kisses and dragged in a ragged breath.

"Hey, look at that. We pulled it off."

Smiling, Karina buried her face against his chest, releasing a pleased hum when he hugged her tightly. She wanted to stay like that for the rest of the night, but with the storm passing over, there was a good chance Nana would be worried about her and wondering where she was.

"Gotta get you home, don't I?"

Karina nodded. "Yeah."

Though they both knew it had to happen, Johnny didn't seem to eager to get her there. He walked her slowly to the truck, helped her in and drove below the speed limit across town. At Nana's he walked with her to the door, holding her hand even after they'd stopped on the back stoop under the glow of the single light overhead.

"So," he started, turning to her.

Karina stepped into his arms. She didn't want to leave him, to go inside and lay alone in bed wishing she was still with him. His hand swept over her hair, his mouth pressed against her temple and she closed her eyes against the hot sting of tears.

This is why she wanted to get rid of you...you're a wreck.

"Karina-," Johnny said softly, moving away enough so that he could see her. She tried to hide her face, but he was having none of that. He caught her chin and tilted her head up. "What is it?"

She drew in an unsteady breath, swiping at the tears on her cheek with the back of her hand. "I want to go upstairs, go to bed and just...wake up feeling so much better about all of this. I wish it was that easy. I've been outrunning all of this from the moment I woke up in the hospital, trying to hide what happened to me from everyone. Even myself. And now I can't...it all caught up to me and there's nowhere else to run. What if I go upstairs and...and wake up and the light is out again? Or what if it isn't even enough?"

Johnny pulled her back to him, rubbing a comforting hand up and down her back. She wanted to be comforted, wanted to feel the peace he always gave her that was suddenly eluding her. Instead, she felt miserable and terrified to let him leave.

"Hang on just a sec, okay?" Johnny said, letting her go. "I'll be right back."

He took off down the walk and went to his truck, turning it off then started back to her, dropping his keys in his jacket pocket.

"What are you doing?" Karina asked once he was close enough to hear her without her raising her voice.

"After everything you've been through, I'm not leaving you alone tonight. It wouldn't be right."

"What? Johnny-."

"This is the part where you tell me I don't have to and I say I know and do it anyway," he said with a wink, taking her hand and grabbing the door handle. He opened it before she could say anything more, peering around the heavy wood and then leading her inside. "Your room's upstairs?" he whispered.

Karina nodded. "This way," she said, moving in front of him. She wasn't going to argue with him. She didn't want to in the slightest.

They crept through the silent house together and managed to make it up to her room without anyone seeing them. Karina knew some of the staff wandered the halls in the evening. She'd heard their muted footsteps pass her door on nights when she was having trouble sleeping.

Once they were in her room, she locked the door. The lamp was on, bathing the meticulously made bed in light. Her clothing that she had left on the chair in a heap was gone, probably carried off by the same person who had made her bed. Unlike Johnny's room, hers was so large that it felt almost unwelcome compared to his. It was too clean, too put together.

"Nice place," Johnny murmured as he looked around in slight awe.

"I guess. I think your room was a lot more comfortable." She went to the wardrobe, pulling out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt she deemed safe enough to wear around him. "I'm going to go change quick. I'll be right back."

He acknowledged her words with a brief nod, still looking around and she slipped into the adjoining bathroom, swapping her clothes for the shorts and t-shirt before checking her reflection. It was the first time she'd gotten a good look at herself after what had happened at the theater and she instantly regretted it. She looked about as wreck-like as she felt, her hair hanging in lifeless waves around a too-pale face where eyes red from crying stared despondently back at her.

"Officially at a loss here for what he sees in me," she muttered, leaning forward and pressing her fingertips against her cheeks. "I miss makeup so much right now."

She ran a brush through her hair, intent on at least taming the tangled mess. Anything beyond that, she gave up on with a disgusted sigh, making a face at her reflection before leaving the bathroom.

Johnny was standing at the window, staring out at the empty street below. When she closed the door, the small click of the latch breaking the silence, he looked to her. Karina felt heat creep into her cheeks as his gaze swept over her.

Maybe I would have been better off with a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt, she thought, pulling nervously at the hem of her shorts.

"I ahh...set my phone to go off pretty early," he said. "Maybe I can get outta here without anyone noticin' right at sun up."

"You'd probably be better off going right out the front door," Karina said as she walked to the bed and started pulling the sheets free, well aware of his gaze following her. "Most of the staff that's up that early sticks to the kitchen until Nana gets up. And that's not usually until around eight."

She climbed into the bed and watched Johnny shrug out of his jacket, tossing it on the wing-back chair by the window. He kicked his shoes off next, then joined her in bed fully clothed.

"Probably should have asked if you'd actually want me to stay, huh?" he said after they'd sat in silence for several minutes. "Do you?"

Karina leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I do. I don't think I'd be able to sleep otherwise. And I know that sounds kind of selfish and insecure but...you make me feel really safe and I don't want that feeling to go away."

"And you like me just a bit," he tacked on with a grin in his voice.

Karina looked up at him, placing a hand against the side of his face. "I like you a lot. And not just because you make me feel safe."

"I like you a lot too," he murmured, resting his forehead against hers.

Karina kissed him once, a simple, lingering peck that was innocent enough not to provoke something more. Johnny's hand cupped her face, his thumb tracing lazily over her cheekbone. "Get some sleep. I'll wake ya up before I leave in the morning."

She nodded. Now that she was in bed, exhaustion was tugging at her. Karina yawned and laid down, smiling when Johnny's arm came around her and pulled her up against him. She took his hand, slid her fingers through his. "Goodnight, Johnny."

"Night Karina. Sleep well."

With him right there, holding her tight, she knew she would be able to do just that.