A/N: Still hanging on for the ride in between the horribly long wait times for updates? If you are, then you have my deepest thanks and appreciation. I know it's taking me forever. So, without keeping you stuck in authors notes for too long, my quick thanks to everyone who reviewed, everyone who hit "favorite" or "follow" and a special thanks to Foreverknight for going through this for me before posting. Love you hun!

Chapter Twelve

It took a guard nudging him to bring Johnny out of the mindless void he'd slipped into after watching his father retreat to his cell.

"You okay, son?"

He looked up into the concerned face of the rhino, vaguely recalling that the guys name was Steve. "Fine. M'fine."

"You sure? Need me to call for a ride for you or anything?"

"No. No...that's okay."

Steve didn't look like he believed him but gave him a slow nod regardless. "Alright. Well, we're closin' up here kid. So-."

"Um, right." Johnny stood up. Though the shock, he could hardly make sense of himself moving. Every action he was vaguely aware of and accompanied by the constant sensation of his throat constricting. How he made it back to the shop, he had no idea.

Barry was gone, a small blessing in the wake of everything Johnny had just found out. He moved robotically through the shop and towards the living room, sinking down onto the couch and staring at absolutely nothing.

His mother had been human. And his father had kept a secret that huge for this long. What did that make him? Did that make him part human?

Johnny's eyes started to burn. He swallowed past the lump of emotion closing off his throat. Reaching behind him, he pulled his phone from his back pocket and sent a text message to Barry, letting him know that Johnny was closing up for the day. He stared at his phone for a long, pensive moment before sending a text message to Karina as well.

Something came up. Can't make it today. See you tomorrow.

He hit send, and then he shut his phone off, tossing it carelessly onto the coffee table.

His thoughts moved in chaotic circles, questions following more questions, desperate reaches at a past that he couldn't remember - one that might have held an image of his mother. He leaned over, praising his elbows on his knees and gripping his throbbing head between his hands. He suddenly wanted it all to stop, to feel nothing and be free of all of it. He wanted the thoughts to go away. He wanted silence.

He went to the kitchen. The narrow cupboard beside the fridge held the one thing his father had left behind that remained untouched. A half finished bottle of scotch and another, less empty bottle of whiskey.

Grabbing a clean glass from the strainer in the sink, Johnny twisted the top off the bottle of whiskey and filled the glass halfway.

He'd never had a drink in his life, not even a cursory sip at any cast parties he'd attended over the past year.

Tonight seemed like a damn good time to start.

Karina sat in the middle of her bed, staring down at the phone in her hands. Johnny's text stared back up at her, looking innocent enough but something sat like sour milk in her stomach. Something was wrong. It was a gut reaction the second she read the words. Simplicity of the text aside, her gut was telling her that whatever had "come up" wasn't okay.

She shot back a quick text, asking if everything was alright and set her phone down, chewing on her nail as she waited for a response.

Her phone remained quiet and dark.

He's just busy. Maybe he had to speak with his dad's lawyer or something.

The darker thought whispered from the far recess of her mind - His father had a problem with me.

The thought hurt so deeply and terrified her to a point of near panic. In order to silence it, she knew she had to keep busy.

She briefly thought about going to the theater and throwing herself into work so that she wouldn't worry herself, but then remembered how she'd left the previous day and quickly nixed that idea. If Johnny wasn't there with her, she had no desire to face everyone on her own and try to explain what had happened.

Even if he was there with her, having to articulate her panic attack wasn't high on her list of things she cared to do any time soon.

With anxiety eating away at her, she tucked her phone into her back pocket and went downstairs. The house was relatively quiet, but then again, it always was, sounds being swallowed by the enormity of the rooms. At times like these, it made Karina uncomfortable. She wasn't used to large, quiet places filled with things that were more expensive than anything she could remember owning. She preferred comfortable, low-key spaces. Places like Johnny's.

The cavernous rooms were suddenly too much and she quickly veered toward the back of the house where the garden room was. The French doors were open, allowing in the mid-morning breeze that teased the ends of the sheer curtains and Karina walked through them. The moment the sun hit her face, she felt much less claustrophobic. She moved down the cobbled pathway, arms around her middle, her racing mind slowing bit by bit.

The garden sprawled over half of the backyard and the side yard - a splash of colorful heaven hidden by towering hedges. Where Nana was mostly composed and old fashioned, here she showed a side of her that was more free and outrageous. There were a few rose bushes here and there but hibiscus flowers, Bougainvillea and Anthurium dominated the space. A bridge arched over a pond with a fountain created from large slabs of rock and filled with water lillies. On the other side of the bridge was a gorgeous vine covered pergola, basket chairs hanging from the wooden beams and swaying under the generous shade from queen palm trees that surrounded it.

Karina sank into one of the basket seats, pushing herself back and lifting her feet to allow the natural swinging motion to soothe her. She slumped against the curved side. As much as she didn't want the negative thoughts filling her mind, in the subdued wildness of the garden, she felt a little more safe in letting them take over.

It was entirely possible that the visit had involved more than just Johnny telling his father about her. She knew there was a lot in the works right now like attempts being made to get his father's release date moved up. But the possibility that his father had reacted that badly to the idea of her seemed more...possible. She hated to think that but rationality forced her to and she couldn't deny that his silence made more sense with that outcome.

I wouldn't let anything hurt you. Not if I can help it. His words echoed in her mind and she tried to take comfort in them, tried to cling to them and feel like she hadn't lost him.

"Miss Karina?"

Startled, she sat up and peered around the side of the basket seat. Robert stood on the bridge, holding the phone. "Call for you, ma'am."

"For me?"

"Yes. A Miss Rosita?" He walked to her and handed her the phone. "Can I get you something to drink, miss?"

"No. That's okay. Thanks Robert."

With a bow, he made an exit and Karina lifted the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hi Karina! It's Rosita. I'm sorry to bother you but I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing."

"Oh, um...I'm alright, I guess. A little embarrassed over what happened yesterday."

"Honey, don't be embarrassed about that at all. We all care about you and just wanted to know that you're alright."

The chill from the thoughts that had been plaguing her all morning faded and she felt a warmth slip around her. Beyond Johnny and Nana, she wasn't accustomed to people caring about her. "I am. And for everything you did yesterday, thank you. How did you...know what was happening?" Karina asked, relaxing back in the swing.

"I have a cousin that I'm very close to. When he was younger, he went through something very traumatic and before he got help with it, he would have flashbacks every once and a while, would go into shock. I took a course in first aid and trauma response just so that I could help him when he'd go through an episode so I knew what was happening when I saw you. I'm so sorry for everything you went through."

Karina's eyes started to burn. She sniffed back tears. "Thank you."

"Absolutely. I'm really glad Johnny was able to be there for you, too. I'm a bit of a mama bear when it comes to him, so it's great to see how connected you two are."

"Yeah. He's been...he's been amazing."

"You haven't heard from him at all, have you?"

"No, not since this morning. He sent me a text after he visited his dad saying that something came up and he wouldn't be picking me up today."

"Hm. That's...not really like him." Rosita fell silent for a moment and in that silence, the chill found a way to return and edge out the warmth. "You know, I'm sure he's fine. He's had a lot on his shoulders, building a business from the ground up and getting out of his father's shadow. I just...his phone's going straight to voicemail, he's not picking up the shop phone…"

Karina swallowed hard, suddenly very uncomfortable with everything Rosita was saying. It didn't sound like Johnny suddenly making himself unavailable was normal at all.

"You know what? I'm probably just being overprotective. I'm sure he's fine. And your going to be at the theater tomorrow?"

"I ah...I think so, yes," she answered, though she wasn't certain at all.

"Okay, I'll let Ash know. She was wondering."

We're supposed to get together tomorrow. That's right…

"Take care, Karina. I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Thanks Rosita. I'll see you later."

"Bye, hun."

Karina disconnected the call and set the phone down beside her. She couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that something was off now that she had talked to Rosita. Her perkiness had done nothing to cover the notes of worry in her voice. Karina needed to do something. Not just sit here spinning her thoughts in anxious circles.

Grabbing the phone, she left the serenity of the garden in search of Robert and found him just inside the doorway to the garden room.

"I need a ride," she said, handing him the phone.

"To the theater?"

"No, um...to Johnny's shop. Do you know where that is?"

Robert gave a curt nod. "Yes, ma'am. We're dedicated patrons to his business."

Karina breathed a sigh of relief. "Would you be able to take me there? Please?"

"Of course, Miss Karina."

She ran upstairs to change, trading her shorts for navy blue leggings and pulling on a gray zip-up hoodie over her tank top. She rushed out of her room and caught Nana as she started down the stairs.
"Going somewhere, dear?" the older woman asked, arching a brow.

"I think something happened at the prison. I don't know what but something just doesn't feel right," Karina tried to explain, knowing she sounded crazy. She'd known Johnny a few days. Not hardly enough to understand how his mind worked. But what little she knew paired with how Rosita sounded on the phone left an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach that sat like a jagged rock.

The brow came down. "Go. Call me if you need anything and please, let me know if everything is alright."

"I will."

Robert was waiting outside, the car running, and Karina quickly slid into the backseat. By the time they pulled up in front of the shop which sat still and quiet, it's doors shut and the sign in the window stating that it was closed, Karina's nerves were painfully on edge. She quietly thanked Robert and got out, staring up at the building for a moment and telling herself to be brave, that Johnny wouldn't turn her away.

After knocking, she waited a full minute, listening to the silence before trying the door and finding it unlocked. She went inside, closing the door carefully behind her and trying not to make too much noise.

"Johnny?"

The low hum of the refrigerator answered her. She tapped her fist against the side of her leg, feeling awkward and hesitant. Maybe she was overreacting and nothing was really that wrong. She'd just told herself that something was enough that she believed it and acted on it.

But then there was the other side of it. What if she wasn't overreacting?

She started forward through the darkened shop, past a truck with its hood up, an oily rag hanging over the bumper. The television came into view - on but muted. And then she saw Johnny, slumped against the couch, one arm hanging over the armrest. On the floor under his arm was a glass laying on its side, what remained of its contents polled around it.

"Johnny?" she called out again.

He didn't answer, didn't even move and when she glanced to the table and saw the half empty bottle of liquor, she panicked, rushing to his side and kneeling down in front of him.

"Johnny...hey, wake up." She jostled his leg.

He grunted and opened his eyes. They were bleary and horribly bloodshot. "Karina?"

"Hi," she said softly, taking his hand.

"What'r you doin' here?"

"Checking on you. I was worried. Are you okay?"

He shifted forward and moaned, bracing his elbow on his knee and dropping his forehead into his palm. "I dunno."

"How much have you had to drink?"

Another moan, this one far more pained. "Too damn much. M'head hurts."

Karina glanced back at the bottle, wondering just how full it had been before he had gotten to it. "You're not going to be sick, are you?"

"Already did that."

He started to slump forward and she caught him, struggling with his near dead weight but

determined not to drop him on his face. "Okay, we need to get you into bed. Can you walk?"

"Can try."

Karina placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back, leveling what she hopped was a commanding glare on him. "You fall on me, and we're going to have a problem."

He grinned down on her, his eyes remaining clouded and lost. She wanted to know what had happened to put that look there but knew that making him talk about it now would be a mistake. "You're adorably terrifying," he murmured. "Thanks...for comin' over to check on me."

Even when drunk, his words stirred emotions in her that made her feel weak and overheated. She reached up, tracing his jaw with her fingertips. "You're welcome. Come on." She stood, taking his hands. "You need rest."

For as intoxicated as he was, he did his best to help her and together, they made it to his room without stumbling or falling over. Johnny sat down, shrugged out of his jacket and started trying to get his shirt off, but struggled and Karina stepped in front of him, helping him out of it and tossing it at the foot of his bed. She gritted her teeth against the sudden surge of lust. Now really wasn't the time for such emotions but seeing him in nothing but jeans made it difficult.

She managed not to sigh in relief when Johnny slumped over, burying his face in his pillow with a groan. She pulled the blankets up over him, going to her knees beside the bed. Johnny turned his head to look at her, reaching for her hand and grasping it. Through the agonized gleam in his eyes, she could see a desperation, a need to purge himself of whatever he was holding onto.

"We don't have to talk about this now," she whispered, kissing his hand.

"You'll stay?"

"Of course. We'll talk after you have a chance to sleep it off, okay?"

He nodded and closed his eyes. It took less than a few minutes for his grip to slacken and his breathing to even out. Karina slid her hand away, brushed her fingers indulgently over his brow, then stood and walked back out to the living room. She kept herself busy mopping up the spilled liquor on the floor, straightening up the living room, then taking the bottle of booze and moving to the kitchen to stash it in the cupboard above the stove before doing what few dishes sat beside the sink.

When that was done, she stood in the middle of the living room, looking around and having no idea what to do with herself. Johnny's place was cozy and he kept it relatively clean so there wasn't much left for her to do. Anywhere beyond where she'd already been felt oddly off limits so she returned to his room where she could at least feel comfortable and be there when he woke up.

He was still sleeping soundly, one arm dangling off the bed. Karina toed off her boots, removed her sweatshirt and climbed into bed beside him, wiggling under the covers and snuggling up to his warmth. She wasn't tired and yet, she found herself lulled to sleep by the heat and gave in to the temptation to close her eyes, sliding an arm around his waist.

Her name left him in a hushed whisper and she smiled, shushing him gently before drifting off.

Johnny woke up to two very conflicting feelings - comfort, and a splitting headache. He groaned, pressing his palm to his forehead. If this was what he got for drinking too much his first time around, it was going to be his first and last time ever indulging. There was nothing appealing enough about drinking to make him welcome this level of pain. His throat was dry, he could still taste the fact that he'd been sick which made him feel like he wanted to be sick all over again and the headache was unlike anything he'd been cursed with before.

But then there was the conflicting feeling of comfort that had him confused until he rolled onto his back and realized he wasn't alone.

Karina lay next to him on her back, holding a book open above her. She glanced over at him with a sympathetic grin. "There's a glass of water and some tylenol on the table next to you."

"Thank god," he muttered, levering himself up on one arm and reaching over to grab it. He tossed the pills back and drained the contents of the glass, suddenly very aware of how thirsty he was but his quick movements earned him a sharp stab of pain at the back of his head and he closed his eyes against it, blindly setting the glass aside before shoving his face into his pillow.

"Please tell me I didn't puke in front of you," he said after the throbbing had faded somewhat.

Karina smoothed a hand over his shoulders. "No, I missed out on that."

"Good."

Her fingers combed soothingly through his fur. He lay still under her explorations, fully enjoying every minute of it, even through the hazy ache clinging to the back of his skull. "What time is it?"

"Seven fifty." She shifted beside him, moving closer, one leg pressing against his.

"At night?"

"No...you slept through the night. It's Friday."

He turned his head to look at her. Her smile was so peaceful, her eyes glowing with a sympathetic understanding that had been lacking so much in his life. He saw a hint of it in the way his theater family would look at him sometimes but there was always just enough pity to make him shy away from it, unwilling to accept pity from anyone. That's where his pride seemed to draw the line.

But there was no pity in the way Karina looked at him.

"Thanks...for stayin'."

"You asked me to," she murmured, pillowing her head on her arm, her free hand finding his. "Are you hungry? I can try to find you something."

Just the thought of food made his stomach roll. "No, that's okay. Not really feelin' up to eatin' right now."

"How about coffee? Not speaking from true experience here, but it might help."

"Sure. I'll take some coffee."

She leaned over to give him a quick kiss, then scooted out of the bed. Once she was gone, he awkwardly sat up and leaned against the headboard, closing his eyes against another wave of nausea. He was going to dump every bottle of alcohol in the damn place once he felt better. All he could really manage at the moment, however, was shooting a quick text to Barry to let him know the shop was going to be closed today. He started to set his phone aside when he remembered something his father had said. After a moment's hesitation, he typed out:

Dad told me about my mom yesterday. He said you'd be able to tell me where they stayed.

His thumb hovered over the send icon for several moments before he finally tapped it and set his phone aside. It buzzed as Karina walked back in the room and he forced himself not to pick it up to see what Barry's response had been.

"Here you go." Karina handed him the mug and the scent of the steaming liquid alone worked wonders on the nausea, calming it to a point where he felt that taking a sip wouldn't have him reaching for a bucket.

She climbed back into bed beside him and picked up her book, marking the page before closing it and setting it up on the window ledge above the side of his bed.

"You're not going to have any?" Johnny asked.

She shook her head. "I've been up for a little over an hour already so I've already had a few cups."

It was then that he noticed the coffee cup sitting on the ledge beside her book. He liked the way it looked there - something that was so obviously not his looking so natural on something he'd never considered using as a shelf. Something that was Karina.

She tucked herself up next to him, crossing her stocking feet at the ankle and laying her head on his shoulder. She sat quietly - not asking, not expecting. Why she had felt the need to check on him didn't matter to him at all. He was just glad she was there. He reached for one of her hands, sliding his fingers through hers.

"Feeling better?" she asked after he'd nearly drained the contents of his mug.

"Gettin' there, yeah." He paused for a minute. There was the hesitation again, the fear of opening up to a past he knew nothing about. "My dad...he ah...he told me about my mum yesterday."

Her hand tightened around his, offering that silent, unexpecting support he desperately needed right now. He squeezed hers back because in seconds, she was going to need it as much as he did.

"She was like you."

Her hand jerked, her body went tense and her head came off his shoulder. "Like me?"

"Human."

She twisted to face him, her eyes impossibly wide. "Oh my God-."

Johnny nodded. "When I showed your picture to him, he just lost it. Told me to put it away, to not show anyone. Then said that my mum was just like you."

Much like he did when his father had dropped the bomb on him, Karina struggled for words. He could see the way her mind was racing in her eyes alone. "He found her in some club. The guy who owned it was using her to bring in money, selling her off to the highest bidder every night." She seemed to focus more on him as he spoke. He needed her to focus. It was selfish, but he needed her to be calm so that he could stay calm. So he continued. And once he started, he couldn't seem to stop. He needed it out of his head, needed someone else to hear it.

"My dad got her out and hid her somewhere. I don't know how she got here. He didn't have a lot of time to tell me much. Just told me to ask Barry for the address of the place they stayed. I didn't….I didn't know anything about my mum aside from how she died. Even that wasn't somethin' my dad told me. Barry told me what happened after me and my dad got into it pretty bad one night. Thought me knowin' how she went, how much she meant to my dad would help me understand him a bit more"

"Did it?" Karina asked, her voice soft.

"Kinda. I never knew how long they'd been together before they had me." He set the empty coffee cup aside. "I knew next to nothin'. What Barry gave me was...somethin' I guess. She got sick after she had me and Barry said there wasn't anything that could be done to help her get better. Knowin' what I know now...makes sense that no one was able to do anything. They couldn't bring her anywhere. Barry said that between him and dad, they did everything they could but six days after I was born, she passed and then dad just...stopped talkin' about her. Moved back to the city, got into organized crime. That's the only life I knew up until now."

Karina's fingertips touched his cheek and it was then that he realized he was crying. He drew a staggering breath and she moved closer, her arms going around his neck, her forehead resting against his. He closed his eyes, reveling in the closeness.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

He could only shake his head, finding it impossible to speak past the lump of emotion in his throat. His chest was tight, his eyes burning. He leaned into her support and let go of everything else he was holding back. "All my life, I've felt cut off from my dad. If he woulda just told me...if he woulda just trusted me with all of that...I could have felt like I was connected to him, like I wasn't just an accessory for him to use when it came to pullin' off heists. I wouldn't have felt so damn alone all the time."

The weight pressing down on him slipped away as the last words left him and the tightness in his chest eased, allowing him to breathe again, allowing the sorrow free reign. Karina held him tight, her hands traveling soothing paths over the back of his head, his neck and shoulders. He was grateful to have her there, even if she had seen him at an all time low. He didn't want to be facing any of this on his own.

He felt her breath against his cheek as she whispered her regrets for him. Instinctively, he turned towards it. There was no thinking when his mouth found hers. Blind need reached in and flicked the switch off on rational thought. He needed her - no thought beyond that seemed to matter.

He kissed her slowly, searching for a deeper connection and she turned in his arms, sighing and inviting him in further when he pulled her into his lap.

Caution was an honest attempt on both of their parts, but it was easily overcome by the desperation to be closer, to feel comfort in the darkness of uncertainty and the shadows of both of their pasts. Holding Karina like that, kissing her without thinking anywhere past that kiss, felt so damn good and he was hurting far more than he even realized.

Her arms went around his neck, her legs on either side of his. He pulled her as close as he could, shuddering when she moaned softly, twisting them both until she lay under him.

Karina's hands moved down his chest and stomach, her fingers playing along the waistline of his jeans and he knew he should stop her. He knew he should have backed away. He had no idea what came next or how to handle the situation beyond kissing, something his hormones didn't seem to care about in the least.

They broke away from each other, gasping for air and Karina dropped her head back, exposing her neck. The curve of it enticed him. He leaned in and brushed his nose just below her ear, inhaling her scent. Her reaction wasn't what he expected at all. She gasped, her legs clamping tightly around his waist, her hands going to his shoulders, fingers gripping them tightly. He hesitated only a moment before pressing his mouth against her neck and his pulse leapt as she clung more tightly to him, moaning low in her throat. She took his face between her hands, dragging him back to her waiting lips.

There was going to be a breaking point, a moment of no return that they were going to miss if they didn't stop and as much as he wanted her, he didn't want her like this - not when they were both hurting and confused, picking their way through a mess they didn't create but had to live in.

He managed to pull himself away from her. Her hands slackened, remaining on either side of his face. In her silence, he could feel her acceptance and understanding. He rested his forehead against hers, willing his heart to slow and his breath to steady. It was a boost to his worn ego that she seemed to be doing the same thing.

"I don't understand what you do to me," Karina said in a near whisper, her gaze searching his. "I'm nervous and excited and so many other things I can't define, things that I feel like I should recognize. It's all wrapped up in what I do know. Comfort and warmth. What is this?"

The first word that came to Johnny's mind scared the hell out of him.

Love.

He kissed her once, slow and careful. "I don't know. It's all new to me, too. I've never felt like this about anyone before."

Her fingertips traced lightly over his brow. "We'll figure it out, right?"

"Yeah, course we will." He rolled onto his side and she snuggled against him. "You...ah...you wanna come out to this place with me? Maybe you could find some answers out there too?"

"You would let me go with you?"

"I want you to. I don't...I don't wanna face this alone."

She was quiet for a moment. Then her arm stole around his waist and she pressed her face to his chest, offering that same silent support from before. "Then you won't."