David Foxfire Presents:

Touhou Lost Word: Cherries Wild

Episode 3

A serialization of the events and storyline depicted in Touhou Lost Word, by Team Shanghai Alice, Good Smile Company, and NextNinja

Caution! Spoilers Ahead: The storyline follows along with the game, in some places word for word, with some embellishments involved. If you don't wish to have the game spoiled, do not proceed any further.

This is a fan-work, and as such is relegated under the Fair Use Laws of the United States Copyright Code as well as the policies set by Team Shanghai Alice. Because of this, this document is available free of charge. All commercial use of this story is strictly prohibited.

While David has took as many steps as possible to keep this series as unoffensive and acceptable by general audiences, it is impossible to account for everyone. Especially when you consider that one of the characters here, even though she's not written as a Mary Sue, isan Original Character who is in a classic Isekai scenario. That alone causes people to get triggered. Therefore, it can be assumed that this work may be an effective tool in offending the easily offended, so if you're one of them, do us all a favor and use the Back button on your browser now without reading anything beyond this point. Thank you and God Bless.

All Touhou related material is © Team Shanghai Alice

All material related to Touhou Lost Word is © Team Shanghai Alice, Good Smile Company, and NextNinja.

All Dungeons & Dragons material and references, including settings, are © Wizards of the Coast. The Fifth Edition rules are used.

The Amber Merichello character and the Penumaria setting, with all characters, locations, and items therein, are © David "David Foxfire" Gonterman.

Special Thanks go to:

Eagleeye2809 (feedback)
Phantom Gardener (Advice)
RobertAkio (feedback)

Anyone who shows their support or assistance or even as much as says a good word to this project may have their name listed here. Anyone who even offers corrections to spelling and grammatical errors, suggestions for improvements, and critiques that do not go toxic will also be listed here, as I show proper credits.

Edition Log

Edition 1: Dated 27 Aug 2021: Initial Release
Edition 2: Dated 12 Sep 2021: Replaced some Japanese terms: 'Ouji-sama' to 'Oujou-sama,' and 'Onii-sama' to 'Onee-sama.'
Edition 3: Dated 21 Sep 2221: Made a correction in the Indicia
Edition 4: Dated 31 Jan 2022: Made more corrections and streamlined Amber's using Spell Cards.

Recap

When we last left our heroes of Touhou, they have just realized that this new incident that deals with what is being called Seal Crystals is becoming the first ever inter-dimensional incident; not with the Outside World, thankfully, but with other realms like Gensokyo, in nature if not by style.

The main duo of Incident Resolvers, the Hakurei Shrine Maiden Hakurei Reimu, and the Ordinary Magician Marisa Kirisame, are accompanied by a Magician from one such Alternate Gensokyo, Amber Merichello. Amber hails from a realm known as Penumaria, a variant of Gensokyo that runs on Dungeons & Dragons rules. But once they have her in the Hakurei Shrine, she shares the not-very-well-kept secret that she wasn't born there, but in the Midwest United States in the Outside world. Amber told Reimu and Marisa that she was Isekai'd to Penumaria where she became a Magician, and it was not until she has found a Seal Crystal herself that she even know Gensokyo existed anywhere outside of a video game.

While the three were together in the Hakurei Shrine, they made a discovery while trying to safeguard a Seal Crystal from exploding: When Reimu performed a Shinto sealing ritual on the crystals, the Seals broke, and out came spell cards that Amber could use! Amber can get more Spell Cards with each Seal Crystal, and it is possible that Amber Merichello could be capable of casting every possible spell card in the history of the Touhou Project!

One question answered, but two more rose in its place, and so Reimu took Amber through the Usual Suspects Crawl, where she visits all the culprits of all the previous incidents in Gensokyo, starting with the Scarlet Devil Mansion!

Chapter 3

Day 1 Late Afternoon
Kourindou

Situated between the Forest of Magic and the Human Village is this odd little curio shop. Odd not just in its location, or the owner of the shop, but also its inventory. The owner is one Rinnosuke Morichika, a gentleman with white hair, glasses and a black and blue kimono type outfit with a bold red bag strapped in front of him. Amber couldn't help but like him, especially when he offered to exchange the coins she had with them. Reimu knew that would happen sooner or later, and if they need to hit the Human Village en route to the Scarlet Devil Mansion, well, she's got time. Remilia can get annoyed all she wants about her moseying for all the Hakurei Shrine Maiden cares.

Besides, she wants a second opinion on these Seal Crystals, and Rinnosuke's the best guy for that.

"The world I'm from, we get people from many other worlds in what is collectively known as 'The Realms,' and as such we get a lot of different currency," Amber told him as he held up what he rightfully identified as a Gold Dragon from Waterdeep. "By now we just said, oh the hells with it, and just say that if it has the similar weight and metal, it's legal tender."

"Such a fascinating world you came from, Miss Merichello," Rinnosuke mused. "And this coin," he whistles. "So, this is a platinum coin. It's a platinum dragon from Khorvaire if I'm not mistaken. And this one, heh, if I didn't have my ability, I would not recognize this character. Strahd von Zarcovish?"

"Wait til you hear his tale."

"And this silver piece came from The Free City of Greyhawk…and…that's odd. It says, 'One Gold Piece,' but it's made completely of steel."

"That's Krynn for ya."

"Don't rip her off too much, Kourin," Reimu said. "She's going to need the yen."

"Of course, of course," Rinnosuke (a.k.a. 'Kourin') said as he proceeded to plant a bag stuffed with what would eventually be 25,000 yen in assorted coins. "Fortunately, Amber-san, I just had a shipment of things from the Outside World, so I'll have plenty of coin to exchange with. This should get you on your feet here in Gensokyo, young lady."

"Much appreciate it, good sir," Amber replied. "I found these sheets of paper and a mechanical pencil or two, I'd need them for some note-taking. What would you ask for…"

"Just a 100 yen," Rinnosuke said, more focused on the blue crystal he held up for Reimu. "As for this pretty little thing…Yukari was right about these being Seal Crystals, that's what they're usually called."

Reimu decided to stop by this shop to get a second opinion from Rinnosuke. His ability to find the true name and purpose of just about anything he picked up in his hand proved useful on quite a few instances. At first Reimu rolled her eyes over something so obvious, but then she noticed what he later said. "You said 'usually,' as in people have seen this before."

Rinnosuke nodded. "Yes, from what I'm able to gather, various other worlds have seen something like this in one fashion or another, and for different purposes to, but often it pops over to reveal something that should be collectible. Like that gatcha machine Amber is looking at."

It was actually a cabinet of six such items that Amber thought at first was gumball machines or machines that dispense hi-bouncing balls. But then she saw the many clear plastic balls with the cheap plastic trinkets in them. "I've never seen them like this before," she mused to herself. "Ulp, I hope that's not too loud."

"Young lady, you should come to a place known as Tokyo and just wander around," Rinnosuke said. You won't be able to, if you excuse the expression, swing a dead cat around without hitting one."

Reimu remained on topic. "The gap youkai said that these things might operate different for different people. Yukari made them explode, Amber here gets spell cards, who know what they'd do to anyone else."

"You can already assume that someone has already had plans for these cubes, Reimu, in spite of what Yukari wants you to do to them" Rinnosuke said.

Amber returned to the pair. "Mr. Morichika…"

Rinnosuke gave Amber the warmest of smiles. "Just call me Kourin, all my friend does, and you don't need to be formal."

Amber returned the smile. "Very well then, Kourin. You said that these Seal Crystals have been in other realms. This is the first time I've ever heard of them. But could anyone else here in Gensokyo as much as heard of these things before or is that too much to ask."

Rinnosuke hummed, scratching his chin. "If there's anyone, she could be Hieda no Akyuu. There's nothing that passed her memory ever since there ever was a Gensokyo."

Suzunaan, The Human Village

"Oh, I would just love it if you got that kimono you saw, Amber-san," the young preteen girl in a flowing and opulent kimono of her own, with a matching flower-pin in her purple hair to boot. "Every now and then someone comes here from the Outside World worried about offending us by getting one, but they end up looking like a local within a month. We have this joke, you don't cultural appropriate Gensokyo, Gensokyo culturally appropriates you."

Reimu took the opportunity to pay this girl a visit to show Amber the Human Village. The two just checked out the main street on the route to the Suzunaan book rental place ("I'll give them the good word to get you a rental card, Amber. Most of the books won't cost you, but some of the newer and bigger ones have a rental fee.") They checked out a noodle place which Amber just relished—and found out that they have a cart that travels toward some places—and did a little window shopping, where the kimono caught her eye.

"Well, I just didn't want to look like a tourist, Lady Akyuu," Amber told her with a smile. "Give me a couple weeks, I'll pick up the lingo too." She finished the form for a library card and turned it to a child just as young, with red twin tail-hair with bells, wearing a checkered kimono with an apron that had the 'Suzunaan' logo on it. But that didn't raise Amber's eyebrow as much as what she brought to the table. "I didn't know they had Dungeons & Dragons here, Miss Motoori."

"Just found it two months ago, Amber-san," Kosuzu Motoori said as she plopped a stack of several books. (From top to bottom: Player's Handbook, Monster Manual, Dungeon Master's Guide, Curse of Strahd, Storm King's Thunder, Xanathar's Guide to Everything, Tasha's Cauldron of Everything, Waterdeep: Dragon Heist, and Tomb of Annihilation.) "When I heard that you could do Vancian Magic, my mind just went to these books."

Amber just stared at the books and shrugged. "I never was a D&D gamer."

Kosuzu tilted her head towards Hieda no Akyuu "Hieda-chan's the Dungeon Master of the D&D group here."

"Keeps my writing skills sharp, and I find myself making my own setting based on Gensokyo." Hieda gave a cute smile. "It provides a lot of material to work with."

Amber chuckled. "Guess people want to try their hands at Youkai Exterminating without risking their lives."

"Yeah," Akyuu said as she picked up the Seal Crystal. She closed her eyes for a few moments to reach back into her memory, then opened them. "I don't know if you're interested in reincarnation, Amber-san."

"It does happen in my world, it's a rare bird that remembers their past lives."

Hieda chuckled. "I can remember all eight of my previous lives."

Amber whistled.

"And the fourth incarnation has seen something like these Seal Crystals. You say you can get spell cards from them?"

"That they do," Amber said with a nod. "I'll be needing some more to get a decent defense deck going."

Kosuzu's eyes lit up. "You can do danmaku, Amber-san?" She gasped with delight when Amber opened up the pocket on her chronicle and pulled out her cards. "Ooooo, pretty…whoa…Fantasy Seal and Master Spark?"

"That's what I got out of them; they work too. Makes me wonder how many of these cards I can get."

Kosuzu just stood there, eyes wide. "There might be…every spell card…in them. If you could get them all…The battles you'd be in…"

"They'd still be rather weak though," Reimu said. "She'll need a way to level them up or get stronger cards."

"And I still have a need to get them to the Hakurei Shrine," Amber added, "So Reimu here can crack them open safely."

"Hold that thought," Kosuzu said as she ducked into a lane of bookshelves.

"I can think of several instances where there was a major incident involving a Gatcha mechanic much like the one here," Akyuu said while rummaging could be heard. "One in Gensokyo's past, before Reimu's time, and another in a pocket dimension resembling a game board. I didn't get the name…something something cannon something." She just shrugged at the end.

"Every now and then, Amber, I end up into an incident involving some real wacked out stuff," Reimu added. "Wacked out by Gensokyo standards. My personal favorite was a group of fighting arenas with that plumber and a giant fire-breathing kappa. I kinda liked the armored bounty hunter. There's also that blue hedgehog that was pretty much a pain in the arse. But that long white-haired guy with tight leather pants and that ridiculously long sword isn't someone I'd want to cross paths with anytime soon…"

Kosuzu returned with a large Moleskine-style book—complete with elastic band and felt bookmarks—and planted it on the ground. "It took me a while to remember where it's at, I'll vouch for Hieda on the previous incident like these Seal Crystals. It includes notes on how to safely open them using arcane magic."

"Something I might be into, Kosuzu-san," Amber said as she agreed to rent the book. "Where'd you find them."

"Actually," Kosuzu paused, "I have more than one copy. Last night, I saw Sakuya-san show up asking for one of these copies."

"Sakuya?" Reimu said, "The Vampire's Maid?"

Kosuzu nodded. "And you're headed to the Scarlet Devil Mansion after this, right?"

Chapter 4

Day 1: Early Evening
Scarlet Devil Mansion

What Amber is seeing before her is a stark contrast to the Human Village. Just a stone's throw away from there—and a misty lake where she had to dodge an idiotic ice fairy—stood a European Mansion surrounded by a wall with a gate. It had immense Gothic vibes with almost all the windows tinted red. A clock tower rising above it only added to the ambiance. It reminded Amber of a place she knew back in Penumaria, a castle that used to be a home of a vampire lord. An angelic figure now calls that castle home. "So, this is the Scarlet Devil Mansion." Amber gulped. "Great name. I gotta hand it to Lady Remilia Scarlet."

She then looked down at the figure in front of the gates and let out a cackle. "And then we have this little piece of heaven."

Standing in front of the gate to the Scarlet Devil mansion stood a long red-haired girl in the Chinese Revolutionary dress, hands on her hips, feet apart, she would've resembled someone who would've just spring out to just kick some ass if it weren't for her closed eyes, the snot bubble coming out of her nose, and some light snoring.

"For the life of me, Amber, I can't quite figure out how Hong Meiling could ever sleep so soundly while standing straight up," Reimu mused.

In response to that, Amber held out her right hand. "Normally I'd just go 'break out the Magic Markers.' But since we're just visiting her for my first time…"

She then concentrated, drawing in a bit of mana, and with a flick of her wrist, she shaped it into a spectral hand. Reimu just looked at it with awe. "What on earth is that!"

"We call it a Mage Hand. Very great at getting at those hard-to-reach places, and to do this and not get combo'd by a sleeping kung fu fighter." Amber then held her arm in front of her and willed this spectral hand toward the gatekeeper in a pointing gesture.

"Last time I checked, Meiling's a Tai Chi master."

"That would be my second guess," Amber said as the Mage Hand stopped in front of Hong Meiling, hovered a bit, and as gently as you please pop the snot bubble.

Hong Meiling woke with a start…and a full sight of dismembered ghost hand.

The Scarlet Devil won't be needing her alarm clock tonight. "GAAAAAAAAH! WHAT IN THE NAME OF CONFUCIUS IS THAT THING?!"

She then went into a flurry of kicks and punches that turned her into a blur trying to hit that spectral hand, which just dodged them all while wagging a finger. It then flew back to Amber's hand. So when Meiling followed it she found the source of that 'thing' standing next to a very bemused Hakurei Shrine Maiden, she was surprised to see a purple colored variant of Marisa with that spectral hand on her palm, doing a mix of a giggle and a cackle!

"That was you?!" Meiling said. "I've never seen anything like that! What sort of spirit magic made that ghost hand?"

"Oh this?" Amber just shrugged. "It was the first spell I've ever learned, and it's a simple one, in fact. Really good for getting at those hard-to-reach places. Wait til you see the other spells I can do."

"Whoa," Meiling just looked at Amber with wide eyes. "I've never seen a wu like you in ages!" She turned to Reimu. "Whom may I ask?"

"Oh, chill, China," Reimu said as Amber did a curtsy. "This is Amber Merichello, a Magician from an alternate Gensokyo. She came here to investigate those blue cubes that are popping up everywhere." She then turned to Amber. "Hong Meiling, the gatekeeper of the Scarlet Devil Mansion."

Meiling returned the curtsy with 'hand over fist' bow often seen in martial art movies. "Blue Cubes?" She put a finger to her chin. "Now that you think about it, the Mistress did find something that looked like blue cubes, but I…"

"That's why I'm here, doing the Usual Suspects walk," Reimu started to head past the gate. "I just want to hear what she knows about…"

Meiling leaped in front of Reimu. "Oh no you don't, Hakurei Miko! You're not coming in here! You aren't invited."

"Oh come on, Meiling," Reimu said in protest. "She's practically expecting me. There's an incident happening and when it happens I always go along the usual suspects to rule them…"

"The mistress didn't tell me you were coming, Reimu," Meiling countered. "My honor as a gatekeeper is at stake."

"I doubt you'd heard her over the sound of your snoring," Amber quipped.

That got her into a full on panic. "Gyaaaaa! Don't say that! I'd get in trouble! Everything you show up the mansion gets wrecked, Hakurei Reimu! And Sakuya always makes me clean everything up."

Reimu had her hands to her hips. "That only happened one time, Meiling. And that was because your mistress was spitting out Red Mist all over the sky. All the environmentalists in the Human Village would've barged right in here with the torches and pitch..."

"It's okay, Meiling."

That came from a rather childish voice from above. Amber followed the sound up to a little girl hovering in the air on what looked like two arms on her back with multicolored crystals dangling underneath. For the life of her, she couldn't imagine how this blonde little girl in a red dress and mob cap could as much as lift off the ground with them. She gave Amber a very curious look as she was sipping a red liquid from a clear plastic pouch through a tube. Red Liquid that looked too much like blood. Her left arm had a bracelet with some flashing lights on them.

"Onee-sama's expecting both of them," the floating girl said. "And that purple witch there can pop your snot bubble anytime, it was silly."

"O-of course, Imouto-sama," Meiling said as she reluctantly opened the gate. "You two may pass. Please don't destroy the mansion, Reimu-sama."

"Destroying things is my job," the blonde girl said with a giggle before turning to Amber. "You must be this Amber Merichello Patchy told me about," she said as she floated down. "A purple Marisa with a cute starry hat, that's how she described you."

Amber gave the strangely-winged girl a warm smile. "I was wondering where that sneeze I had an hour ago came from. Tee hee hee hahahahaaaaa." That started as a giggle, then progressed into a good laugh, and eventually a full on cackle.

Reimu just rolled her eyes while the child clapped her approval over Amber's laugh. "We're here to see your older sister."

"Oh, I was about to tell Meling to let you in." She turned toward Amber and gave her a curtsy. "I'm Flandre Scarlet, I'm the sister of Remilia Scarlet, the mistress of this mansion."

Amber returned the curtsy. "Amber Merichello, apprentice Witch of Penumaria, at your service."

Flandre clapped her hands "You've actually were taught some manners. I was told you're not one of those Otaku."

"I do what I can," Amber replied as she let Flandre lead her through the gate. "I take it you've run into them as well?"

"Wait til you see what we do to them!"

"By the way, I didn't know you do blood donations here in Gensokyo."

At first Flandre wondered why she said that, but then she remembered what she had on her hand. "Oh, this! Yeah, we have a blood lab, and we have blood donations as part of the budget. I for one like it, it keeps the blood from spilling and making a mess. Onee-sama doesn't like it though, not dignified she says."

Amber shrugged. "It has it's pros and cons."

To which Flandre nodded. "I like the fruit juice pouch vibe."

Flan led Amber and Reimu through a fragrant flower garden. Beautiful flowers and fragrant mints and plenty of Tea and Herb plants. Amber recognized some of them as plants she herself often grows back home. There were what Amber first was glowing butterflies, but as she passed one, she found out that it was a fairy with gossamer wings and a maid's uniform. "You shouldn't get too close, Amber. Some of these plants are Mandrakes. You pull them out and they make an ear-piercing scream."

"Noted," Amber said.

"By the way, Flan," Reimu added. "How's the damper bracelet going?"

Flan held up her arm with the bracelet. At this close, Amber can see a display screen, it looked so much like a picture that can change that she almost forgot what a monitor is. It had the time (7:43 PM) a readout of her vitals. It didn't surprise Amber at all to see that Flandre has a heart rate of 60 beats per second and a blood pressure reading of 100 over 65. In her world, even though they're regarded undead, a Vampire's heart still beats. Albeit very slowly. And front and center is the words: Ultimate Destroyer Safety Lock: Engaged. "It's working great. Even though I'm doing good in controlling my powers, everyone says that it'll be a good thing if I had something that can hold my powers back when I lose it, so that I, heh-heh, don't make the whole mansion go 'bye bye.' So Onee-sama had one of her tech-savvy servants fix me up with this."

"It's her ability to destroy anything at will," Reimu added. "I still don't know everything about it, but she's able to draw in what she calls that item's 'eye,' into her hand so that when she squeezes it…"

"Kaboom!" Flandre said with a giggle. "What can I say, I like explosions."

"That bracelet puts enough resistance on that pull so that she can't draw it to her. Remilia can turn it on and off by remote, whatever that means. I don't understand all of it, but as long as her powers don't go out of control, that's all right with me."

"You said that a servant here made it," Amber replied. "I doubt a fairy would do that, I've yet to find a fairy so tech savvy."

Flandre shook her head as she walked up to the front doorway of the mansion. "Nope, we have humans to do it." In front of the main door was one such human. He was in a butler uniform, with a vested shirt and slacks, properly shined leather shoes, hair slicked back, and he had on an eye mask covering his whole forehead and nose. It made discerning his expression hard to do. For all Amber knew that smile he had when he saw visitors was a contented one.

At first, it raised a red flag in Amber, but when she nodded to the masked man, he nodded back. "Welcome to the Scarlet Devil Mansion, Lady Amber Merichello, Hakurei Miko. Our mistress is expecting you." His voice was natural enough as he bowed before opening the door.

"Let me guess," Amber whispered to Reimu. "Used to be one of those otaku guys?"

Reimu nodded. "Remi and Flan don't drink enough blood to kill, so the ones that aren't completely eaten end up being turned into servants."

"I could think of worse fates," Amber muttered as the big doors opened, revealing a posh front hall with a sweeping double staircase, a dark red wallpaper motif with felt-lined benches and sidewalls. A chandelier hung off the ceiling with glowing motes of light within them. Some are lights, while some are fairies that were hanging around them.

"Check your broom, miss?"

Amber flinched a bit when the butler walked up to her, asking if he could take her broom and put it in a waiting coat closet. He didn't as much as make a sound. She handed it to him, knowing that she can call it up to her hand at any time. She also noticed that he had on the same uniform, complete with the eye masks, and his shoes didn't even make a sound as he walked away.

"It's about time a certain rodent miko showed up," said a very refined and soft-spoken feminine voice as footsteps—the only footsteps inside the whole mansion save for Amber's and Reimu's—approached them. Revealing herself, as she stepped out of the darkness, as a tall and slender maid in a short-skirted blue dress and ribbons over her ankles, silver hair with twin braids that fall in front of her shoulders, and a frilly hair ribbon. Also to be noted is the strap over her right thigh revealing a half dozen daggers. "And for once you're actually presentable. I take it you didn't have to take out a half dozen hundred fairies, including their queen, and that idiot Cirno, and not to mention our gatekeeper on the way here?"

Reimu turned to glare at the figure walking in from the shadows. "Always with the attitude toward me, Sakuya Izayoi?"

"My attitude?" Sakuya said as she frowned at Reimu, "You're the one who usually barges in here uninvited acting all uncouth and barbaric while leaving a trail of carnage in your wake." That made Reimu growl a bit. "Just because it's your job to resolve incidents and exterminate youkai doesn't mean you have to go in a rampage like you've drunk so much of Suika's sake that you can't see straight." Sakuya let out a chuckle before turning to Reimu's friend. That's when she smiled. "You're Amber Merichello, am I right."

"Pleasure, Miss Sakuya Izayoi." Amber replied with another curtsy.

A glint of approval appeared in Sakuya's eyes. "Patchouli told me everything about you. Allow me to properly welcome you to Gensokyo, and the Scarlet Devil Mansion. I do hope that the shrine maiden isn't giving you too much trouble."

Amber turned to a rather dour Reimu and shrugged. "We're on good terms. We're teaming up to deal with these Seal Crystals."

"Yes, yes, Patchouli has called them that already." She turned around to walk into the shadows again. "Come with me, Amber. My mistress would want to discuss business with you."

"Of…Of course," Amber replied as she followed Sakuya, then for a moment after that, Sakuya's footsteps because the lack of windows plunged the hallway into total darkness.

"Oh, my apologies," Sakuya said as she reappeared in front of Amber with a candle-holder. "I keep forgetting that not all of us can see in the dark. There isn't much sunshine coming in here, for obvious reasons."

Amber pulled out a stick of wax with a tip of what looked like glowing moss to Sakuya's eyes. "I've been around vampires before, Miss Sakuya. I learned enough of them to know they won't be harmed by the light cantrip." Amber pinched the moss part of the stick and muttered something, causing the moss to glow bright like a candle of her own.

Flan's eyes lit up. "Woooooaaaahhh. What a neat trick!"

"Oujou-sama told me that you know magic from your world," Sakuya said. "That really comes in handy."

"It's something anyone can learn with even a little connection to what we call the Weave. Remind me to tell you more about my world."

"I'd like to know too, Amber," Flandre said. "Oh, and you're right, that little magic light isn't hurting me. It'll take direct sunshine to do that. Patchy said something about the…what's the word…ultra violent…"

"That's 'Ultraviolet,' Imouto-sama," Sakuya said, correcting her.

"Ultraviolet, thanks Sakuya. It's the ultra...violet…" she nodded in approval over getting the word right. "...light coming from the sun that can hurt us. Some of our butlers here installed something called solar cells that can power light bulbs and charge up some devices." Flan shrugged. "Can't destroy the sun, we might as well put it to some use."

Amber rubbed her head as she nods. She's doing what she could to follow along with the conservation, but while she still heard of ultraviolet light in Penumaria, she hasn't heard anything about Solar Energy in ages. Not since she ended up under Nalladrie's wing.

"Her older sister discovered that they can go out in daytime," Sakuya said. "We just need to keep them covered from bright sunlight, so we keep a parasol over her. We also have plenty of sunscreen."

"SPF of over two thousand." Flan added. "Trust me, it's required."

They've reached another set of double doors which a butler and a maid were standing by. Both were human, both had that eye masks on, and both merely bowed and curtseyed as they opened the door for them. It was here where Amber noticed that they were even wearing white gloves. They're moves were so smooth they looked like they were drilled, and they kept quiet and respectful.

"Just as I'm glad that these humans proved themselves useful," Sakuya said with a sigh. "Once they've been properly trained by Oujou-sama and myself, we have a standard uniform for them to wear. The eyemasks serve two purposes. It gives them darkvision so that they can move around the mansion in darkness without stumbling everywhere, and it gives them a bit of anonymity." She tilted her head to Remilia. "You know Oujou-sama by now, Reimu, she doesn't want them to take any of her spotlight. It's also why they wear gloves and their shoes are padded so that they don't make any noise. They stay in the background where they belong."

Reimu had to snort at that. "That's the Scarlet Devil for ya, Amber. If there's an Incident or one of those galas she hosts here, she wants to be front and center, the brat." That got a piercing glare from Sakuya. "But I'm still concerned over what she's doing to them. Sure, they were once Otaku, but that doesn't mean that they had to have her stare into their eyes to the point where they're so entranced that they're mere drones."

Amber turned to Reimu. "If they were here that long, I doubt that's the case, Reimu. My Grandmother knows a lot about hypnosis. It only works for a short time before it wears off. It would take a long time keeping them under, usually by drugs—or have a willing subject—for it to stick with any permanence."

"I'm afraid she's right, Reimu."

That voice echoed throughout the darkened chamber, a voice with a combination of child-like innocence with centuries of mischief, haughtiness, and even arrogance that Amber didn't know could combine as well as it could. Amber noticed a spotlight in the darkness and found the throne. Sitting on the throne, in a soft pink dress with matching mob cap, was what could easily be mistaken as a child, still in the stage of one's life where half-years are still a thing, with bright blue hair. The throne was designed for a full grown and quite large adult, so she just had her legs dangle on front and she had a hand steadying wide on one armrest, her back propped up with dark red pillows. Then her eyes opened to reveal glowing red pools with an air of malevolence or mischief, and a pair of bat wings coming out of her back. She had a crystal goblet in her hand, complete with reddish fingernails that was an eighth of an inch longer than they should be. The goblet had some reddish liquid in it. The same kind of liquid Flandre was sucking out of that pouch.

Blood no doubt. Even though Amber couldn't smell it. The smell of cocoa butter, coconut and jasmine overwhelmed the scent of crimson in her nose.

"And I find what you said to be quite a welcome change from other visitors, Lady Amber. Mesmerism could seem to be a can-do-anything-to-anyone technique to the uninitiated. It pleases me to see that you, my dear, are quite initiated. Lights."

Amber expected a switch to flip a bit too loud causing a hum of lights turning on at the same time and to get momentarily blinded by the transition to pitch black to brighter than noontime. Instead, the lights were subtle, a nice fade in to reveal a stately and royal throne hall, the throne standing on a dias. Drapes were pulled back as well, revealing a nice rose-themed stained glass window thick enough to show the light outside, but not let it in. As Remilia sat on her throne with no less than three butlers and two maids waiting on her.

"That's my Onee-sama," Flandre muttered. "She knows how to make an entrance."

Remilia Scarlet let out a soft giggle as she looking right at the awestruck otherworldly magician. "For the record, I do charm them, or what I call bedevil them. At first. They look into my eyes and fall under my spell." She made her eyes glow a bright red to illustrate. "Even if it is just to calm them down and get into friendly terms with me. I can easily influence them with my charisma, but as you said I can't enthrall them, can't turn them into butlers and maids, in this manner. That's where manipulating their fates come in." She raised the goblet. "I pretty much give them a better life. I bend their fate so that they were destined to be a servant in the Scarlet Devil Mansion, that they were born for the role, that everything they ever done, learned, and experienced, lead them to my feet." She then showed an expression of utter surprise. "And then there are the ones who submit to me before I could even do a thing to them, even just up and offering me their necks! Especially Otaku girls, who just give into that fantasy of being charmed and then fed on by a vampire." She rolled her eyes. "Some people."

"What do you expect, Oujou-sama?" Flan said in a snappish tone. "You had to set aside a whole wing of the mansion dedicated to their devotion to you. Our charm ability just set it in stone. If I didn't learn from them what a fan club is, people would think you've started a cult."

"Even in my world, Lady Remilia, there's no accounting for what some freaks would be into," Amber said. "And that's a term I don't usually use."

"Tell me about it. I do what I can to weed out the hentais. I'd simply give them a merciful end to their miserable lives and leave the rest for Sakuya and Meiling." She turned back to the goblet and sighed. "But that doesn't stop people who come to me and allow me to completely enslave or even feed on them right on the spot." She then quaffed the contents of the goblet in one gulp. There was a reddish drop on her lips, but she got that with a finger before it stained her dress. She then looked at the goblet and sighed. "What is a man, Lady Merichello, but a miserable little pile of secrets." She lifted the empty goblet as if to toss it, but then paused. Her haughty demeanor and maleficent presence faded into a rather sheepish grin and a blush. "…er…I'd throw this, but Sakuya would kill me." That produced some snickers and chuckles a couple butlers, including the one who had a platter for the emptied glass. "And I hope you'd dispose of that pouch, Flan. Just because you don't mind being seen sucking on one of those like a fruit juice pouch doesn't mean you should be a litterbug."

"Yeah yeah," Remilia said as she pitched the pouch and tube into a wastebasket held by Sakuya, then Amber blinked. During the blink she head something that would resemble a flash of light if it could be heard instead of seen, a combination of a whoosh and a chooon. When she opened her eyes, the maid was by Remilia taking the platter from the butler.

Remilia stood up on her throne, looking right at Amber with a tilted head. She noticed her smile and nod, but there wasn't any other hint of recognition over the line she gave. With that Midwest American accent of hers, surely, she would've seen the Castlevania series of games. Either she has been in this Penumaria so much that she has truly forsaken the Outside World, or she stuck strictly to bullet hell shooters when she was there, or both. No matter. "Let's get down to why we are all here, shall we? You two are going through the," she made quote marks with her fingers, "usual suspects…over these Seal Crystals."

"Of course, Remi," Reimu said. "These crystals do have something inside them. And I can flat out guess Patchy's looking into them on their own?"

Remilia nodded. "She's went through her expansive library looking for anything about it, but she learned that Suzunaan has the book she needs. So I sent Sakuya to rent it out."

Amber showed her copy. "They have more than one copy. Oh, before you ask, I have a spell that helps me translate Japanese."

"I wouldn't be surprised, Amber," Remilia said leaning forward. "From what I've heard you're quite skilled in the arcane arts. And it's a long time I've seen a Vancian caster. I'm just glad that someone taught you that, as well as some elegance. You can't imagine how much I have to drill into these guys." She tilted her head toward the masked butlers. "Even though I have to bedevil them to do it."

"I'm just glad that Gensokyo has a working Weave. That's what we call the natural flow of arcane energy we call 'Mana' what we draw on for our spells." Amber brought the conversation back on topic. "This book said that there were several times where something like these Seal Crystals appeared before and provided an arcane way of safely opening them."

Sakuya nodded. "And it can be safe to assume that the Hakurei Miko can also do that."

"She did," Amber said as she opened the pocket in her Chronicle book, "and when she did, they opened up to release these."

Amber made sure the spell card she pulled out was Remilia's: Divine Spear 'Spear the Gungnir."

Remilia's eyes went wide, the bravado and haughtiness she had before got replaced with child-like curiosity. "Is that what I think it is?"

Sakuya was just as surprised, even if she was more refined about it. "Is that a spell card, Amber?"

Amber nodded. "And from what I'm guessing, I can get more where this came from by cracking over more Seal Crystals. I can use it too…er, just to let you know, I won't be throwing it. I just want to summon it so I can show it to Remilia."

Remilia and Sakuya looked at each other, but then they both turned to Amber. Amber gave her a nod, Sakuya made sure nobody saw her hand reach for her knife strapped to her hip. Just in case.

Amber raised the card up. "Spell Card!" The card started to glow. "Shinsou: 'Supia Za Gunguniru'."

The spell card flared out in a bright multi-colored flame, which streaked out sideways in opposite directions, until it formed a spear in Amber's hand.

Remilia looked like Santa Claus left her a bunch of presents at Christmas. "Wooooah! You recreated my spell card?! Sugoiiiiiiiii! Let me get a closer look!"

She leapt up from the throne and let her leathery bat-like wings stretch out to their full length, a couple beats with an accompanying whoosh with each flap and she glided down to in front of her.

Remilia only got up to Amber's waist so she knelt down to her level. "You like it? I was worried you would be upset about me having my own Gungnir."

"Oh, that's all right, Amber," she said with eyes of wide-open delight as she looked over the whole thing. If sincerity is the highest form of flattery, you, my dear, just flattered me beyond what I thought was possible. That's Octarine, isn't it?"

Amber looked down to see the many colors mixing around. Blue and Green and Orange and Purple and Pink. All swirling around but not combining in the shimmering glow. "Yeah it is," she said. "I'm surprised you can see them."

"Oh," Remilia pshaw'd, "when you're a vampire lady of my caliber you'd be able to see a lot of things. Let me compare it to the original." She held her hand up and out of her wrist and palm was something that resembled a mix of blood and fire. Like with Amber's spell card, it too streaked out sideways in both directions until the blood fire formed a spear.

"Wow, look at that, a perfect match instead of the color," Amber said.

"What other Spell Cards can you cast?" Remilia asked.

"Only a few. I need to crack open more Seal Crystals, that's why I got the other copy…"

"AHEM!" During all this time, Reimu was standing there with her hands crossed and tapping her foot. "Can we please dispense with the mutual admiration party? What does Patchy intend to do with these Seal Crystals?"

Remilia blinked a couple times, then dismissed her spear. Amber did the same with hers, returning it to a spell card form and sliding it back in the book pocket. "That book has a storage pouch? It does come in handy. Ahem." Remi cleared her throat. "On the topic of the Seal Crystals: We at the Scarlet Devil Mansion have reached the same conclusion as you have, Reimu. They can be too dangerous. A couple of them already exploded on us, leaving being rubble in some parts of the house and some rather dour moments for my poor long-suffering Sakuya." The maid just rolled her eyes as Reimu walked around Reimu and Amber, her bat wings floating behind her, her haughtiness returning. "Even when I try to view the fate of these things, something's keeping me from seeing it. It's like I'm getting static. We decided to take it upon ourselves to collect and dispose of them, and that book Sakuya borrowed might hold the key in doing do." She noticed Reimu exasperated expression, and she made a pose like she's going to do that oh-ho-ho-ho laugh. "Just because we came to the same conclusion doesn't mean we're on the same page, my dear. I decided that the Scarlet Devil Mansion should be the one disposing of them…minus the ones Amber releases for cards, that is."

"What?" Reimu was in shock. "Did you just agree that those things are dangerous? I'm the one who's supposed to protect all Gensokyo, Scarlet Devil Mansion included. This isn't the sort of thing I can…"

"Wait up, Reimu," Amber said as she held Reimu's shoulder. "I smell an opportunity."

"But Amber, didn't Yukari told us to get all the crystals over to…"

"We're not that gap youkai's shikigamis. Besides, we're still don't know everything about these crystals. The more brains working on them the better."

"I don't think they'd be willing to share what they find, Reimu. We're dealing with Remilia Scarlet here. Her tendency to go from insufferably haughty to insufferably childish can be a pain."

Amber gave her a wink. "I think I know of a way. Play along for a bit." Amber then got back down to her knees to get to Remilia's eye level. "Lady Remilia, has Patchouli ever talked to you about my desire to study in your mansion's library, for the change that a book she has could help me out?"

Remilia smiled at Amber's token of consideration, getting down so that they can talk like normal people. "As a matter of fact, she has. But if you don't mind, I'd like to get to know you more before I decide."

Amber gave Remilia a warm smile. "Do you think I'm up to your standards. You did say that I have some level of elegance in your eyes."

Remilia nodded. "Why yes, you have, even though you're still rough on the edges." She put her hands on her hips and leaned forward toward Amber. "Did I sense through reading your fate that you can be stubborn when you have to."

Amber just snorted. "It depends on whatever or not someone's being a jerk or an idiot, two things you're not, I'll tell ya."

Reimu just groaned.

Remilia chuckled. "Of course I'm neither. I wouldn't be the mistress of this mansion otherwise, heh heh heh. You mind if I ask you something? Do you have any Maid experience?"

"As a matter of fact, I do, Lady Remilia. It's not uncommon for young nobles to go to other noble families to gain work and life experiences in my home world, and even though I'm not a noble on any official record, my Grammie does know nobles, and so she did the same to me. I've been a hedge mage slash maid to a couple kingdoms in my time. Perhaps I should tell you more about them sometime over tea."

"You might get the opportunity to do so, Amber. I'm considering offering you a job here in exchange of being allowed into Patchy's library." Remilia moved up to Amber and reached for her hand. "While I don't wish to do to you like I do to an Otaku, your fate is in an important place and I won't muck with it, but perhaps…a part-time position with us? We could always need more competent help, and I've already checked your fate and I know you have more important things to deal with—namely these seal crystals, of course—but…maybe we can come to terms. You become one of our maids, and we let you into Patchy's Library. What'da'ya say?"

Amber glanced over at Reimu who was just shook her head, like Amber was about to do something that might get her killed. Amber just winked, "Trust me on this," and then returned to Remilia. "As long as it's a part-time position, I don't see why I can't refuse you."

"Yippee," Flandre said as she clapped her hands. "You can show us more of your magic, and maybe tell us some stories of your world. And if you can get some more spell cards, more the better! Maybe you'll get one of mine. Tee hee hee."

"Very well, Amber," Remilia said with a nod. "I'll make sure that you'll have a proper uniform, one that is noticeable too. Can you stand up for a second so that Sakuya can get her measurements."

When Amber stood up, she heard that whoosh-chooon again. It pinged her head for a bit. For a split second, Amber felt a breeze buffet her around her waist, legs, arms, and back. It happened all at once and she didn't even get a chance to react before the maid appeared by Remilia with a notepad. "Done. I have plenty of cloth the same color as her dress so your maid uniform will be matching, Amber."

Amber just blinked. How did she do...

"Perfect," Remilia said. "Now, even with Sakuya's perchance of stopping time—that's what you just experienced, by the way—it'll take a while for your uniform to be ready. I'll let you know when everything ready within a day or so. Until then, why don't you…"

At this point a series of bells made out a little ditty, causing Remilia to go "Ugh. An alarm." A few seconds later a message is heard over some Address System. "May I have your Attention Please? We have a Code Black and White in the library."

Sakuya looked dejected, "Not again."

Remilia just giggled. "I was wondering where that rat was, since she's not with you, Reimu."

Reimu just sighed. "Let me guess, a Code Black and White is?"

It was Flandre who took it seriously. "I can't be-lieve that girl! I keep telling her that all she needs to do is ask to use the library, but she still does the burglary bit!" She took off on her impossible-to-be-real crystal-dangling wings of hers and flew out of the throne room. "Kirisame Marisa no Baaaakaaaaaaa!"

"I don't know what surprises me less," Reimu muttered, "Marisa being a klepto with books, or that it happens so often here you have a term for it." She then floated up to go after Remilia.

Remilia sighed as she beat her wings to go up. "We better catch up with my sister before she causes any more damage than what's already done."

Another audible flash. Whoosh-chooon. Amber knew she heard it before, but what.

"Of course, Oujou-sama. Your broom, Amber-san," Sakuya said as she appeared to Amber's right, placing her flying broom right in her hand. "Follow me to the library. I doubt you know where it is, and I tend to expand space in the mansion when it's needed."

"I'll follow you two," Amber said as she saw the Vampire and her Maid take off after the others.

"I've seen that frown before, Sakuya," Remilia whispered. "She's got a set?"

"D-Cups, Oujou-sama."

"Don't hate her because she's got boobs," Remilia shrugged. She knew enough not to talk much about breast sizes in front of someone who can stop time, sling daggers, and…ahem…look, the writer would like to mention it, but Sakuya would kill him.

]]]============[[[

The Forest of Magic, Penumaria
The Witch of the Woods Cottage

She sits in a large wicker chair with a back taller than hers. She was in a long flowing gown of dark purple fabric with an apron and slip-on shoes. Her hands were gnarled with constant spell-casting gestures, calloused by splashes of hit brews, and nicked by the occasional cut. At first, they shook when she reached out for her tea in an arthritic spasm.

"Oh, bitchnuggets!" she said in a voice that broke because of all the times she had to chant, incant, and intone at full lung. "I got out of the wrong side of the bed today." She clenched that hand in a fist for a second, and Yukari could see some Octarine flow surge over the blood vessels that can be seen under old skin. When she relaxed her hand, they were steady as it picked up the teacup. "You have a lot of thanks from this old woman for the tea, you wily nine-tails, and you have excellent taste in shikigami." That last part was because the other hand was scritching the head of a little girl in a red dress and a mob cap, with black ears and two tails. She managed to get at that sweet spot behind her ear which produced a purr so loud it provided the ambiance.

"I'm surprised that you haven't told her about Gensokyo being real, Grandmother Naladrie." Said the tall blonde woman in a white dress with a blue-purple tabard. She was hiding pointy ears in a mob cap with all those amulets—supposedly to keep it in place—but nobody can do a thing about the nine tails floating behind her.

"She didn't ask, dearie, and I'm surprised that she hadn't asked me once since I took her under my wing," she old woman said, and she was old. A face full of wrinkles and stretched over skin, a nose that was a bit too long, ears that had a point, and silvery wiry hair that she didn't even bother brushing and just let it cascade where it wanted to do. Besides, she can hide the worst of it under her wide-brimmed pointy hat. "To her Gensokyo was just a world in those video games she liked so much. If she ever wondered out loud whatever or not Gensokyo is real, I would've have you three come on over so she can meet you…and she'll no doubt take a dive in your nine tails, Ran. Word of warning, my apprentice never met a fox she wouldn't want to pet."

A tilt of her head revealed the point of an elven ear piercing out of her head. Elves don't normally age with such lack of grace, in fact, they normally keep their youth all the way to Transcendence, the natural end stage of an elf's life. But a magical accident can age an elf to a near hag-like appearance, which is what happened to Nalladrie of the Emerald Isle, or Nalladrie Emerisle, or to the locals, just Grandmother Nalladrie. The ornery old witch who lived on the outskirts of Oakroot who is known for being as old as the trees with crotchety attitude to match, balanced with a heart of gold.

"Oh, yerf!" Ran muttered, with produced a cackle from Nalladrie and a laugh from her master. Yukari Yakumo was sitting across Nalladrie at the table. Between them, lying on the table surrounded by the tea spread, was one of Yukari's gaps, of which she viewed Amber as she streaked through the hallways of the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

"And didn't I tell her so many times not to fly on that thing inside a building?" Nalladrie barked out.

"Don't be so hard on your Shikigami, Nalladrie," Yukari said. "It was an emergency. Or at least to the Scarlet Devil Mansion, though I'd have to say…Marisa going 'I Borrow Ze' in Patchy's library? Just another day in Gensokyo."

Nalladrie snorted. "At least my girl has the common decency of asking for a library card first, which she will from this Patchouli Knowledge. I made sure I raised my girl right. I want her to be right and proper when she takes my place as Witch of the Woods."

"I'm sure she'll do fine, Nalladrie. She's got a lot of potential, and she's getting along with just about everyone so far."

"I expected her to go for that part-time maid to earn that library card though. She was a maid twice before, both to celestials here, Amaunator Izayoi and Adelaide Riverty. Some say that she's stubborn when it comes to authority figures, but she comes around once they gained her respect, and apparently this Reimu has already been cleared by my apprentice. I just hope Amber don't do anything foolish and lets Remilia chomp down on her?"

Ran started to remind Nalladrie. "Both Scarlet sisters are very light drinkers, Nalladrie. Both of them can take a shoulder and Amber would…"

"Amber won't be the one in danger then. The Witch of the Woods, and for that matter her Apprentice, has too much Mana in their blood. Every Vampire she run across only sniffed at Amber's neck and just noped away. Tee hee hee, the look on Strahd Von Zarovich's face when he tried it, I wish I had one of those cameras."

Both the fox and the cat groaned as Yukari giggled.

"Once she warmed up to either of them, Amaunator first, then Adelaide, she grew to enjoy the role. Celestials always treat their servants well, and over time she even developed a crush on both of them. I expect her to be that way to Remilia as well. She's got wings after all. It's gotta be the wings."

"Oh be careful, Amber," Chen mewed, "you might get a knock on the door from…"

That got her a firm squeeze on her shoulder and a scolding tone from Nalladrie. "Remilia Scarlet's five hundred years old, you! She's almost as old as I am."

"It surprises me how close the Witch of the Woods her is to the Hakurei Shrine Maiden," Yukari said as she made the gap to pan over to the Flying Reimu. "The abilities and responsibilities are quite similar. There is even a similarity between Shinto and Wicca. It can be possible that Amber could incorporate some Miko into her."

"It's part of the reason why I wanted her to go questing when she's still a young'un. I can easily dump knowledge into her head and taught her just about everything I knew—and some people actually claimed that she's unteachable, BAH!—but there are some lessons she can only learn through experience. But I can't think of any better way to have her learn some of those lessons than partnering with the legendary Hakurei Shrine Maiden."

]]]============[[[

Day 1: Early Evening
Scarlet Devil Mansion
Patchouli's Library

"Spell Card! Nichifu 'Roiyaru Furea'!"

Patchouli Knowledge whipped out her spell card the instant she got within line of sight of Marisa. The pajama-clad magician sensed the presence of the 'Black and White Rat' the instant Marisa snuck through a couple open doors into the mansion. And sneaking around is easy when you can slink in the shadows in that black witch's dress she wears. And what she lacks in endurance—you can thank her chronic case of asthma for that; she made sure she took a hit from her inhaler the moment she sensed Marisa—she makes up for in versatile firepower. Having learned magic from the Orient, her spells work alongside what are known from the Wu Xing philosophy as 'The Five Phases:' Fire, Water, Wood, Metal, and Earth. This devotion to this philosophy over the century of her life has granted Patchy a wide assortment of elemental attacks to choose from.

Not to mention making sure the fire don't touch the books in her library. Some are priceless. Some are powerful. She knows of some scrolls down in a vault that was taken from the Library of Alexandra before it was burnt to the ground. There's a tome in chains locked in a chest locked in a vault and locked in a room, with a single spell inside that caused a lot of ruckus when it was stuck inside the head of a wizard. Threatened to destroy a rather rare world that happened to be flat, resting on the backs of four elephants who in turn stands on a giant turtle. How it got in the Scarlet Devil Mansion is anybody's guess.

But nobody needed to guess what came out of Patchy's spell card. A circular sigil appeared to corral a cone made of pure light (no ultraviolet waves in this light, thank goodness) and narrowed it enough to pack quite a punch, which she hoped would connect with that Book Thieving Ordinary Magician.

"Ha! I knew you were there!" Marisa replied as she turned her broom to one side, sliding around a corner in a well practice drift move. "I thought you were still at that tea party, but I know that inhaler anywhere."

Patchouli leapt out of the perch she stood on, gliding through the alley between bookshelves with a grace inherent in the Asian-styled magic she wields. If one of those masked butlers or maids were around seeing it, he would've looked up for a wire. "Did you think I was still at the tea party? That ended ages ago."

"Oh, right. I just wanted to talk to you, Patchouli! I'm glad you're here, I'm here to do some research on those blue cubes." Marisa gave her a wink and a smile. It could disarm any guy she might be stealing from, be it a book or their heart.

But it wasn't flying with Patchouli Knowledge. "You can't fool me, Marisa!"

"Fine fine. I'll give up on three books then. I'll just take two. Here, Koakuma take this!" Marisa threw out the top book of the pile she had under her arm with a decent rotation that streaked toward the winged dark red-haired girl streaking toward her. The 'Little Devil"—she didn't tell anyone her true name—had a second pair of wings on her head, and she was wearing a secretary dress. A Black vest and a red tie over a white blouse with a black skirt, pantyhose, and pumps. The book smacked her spine first on her forehead, dropping her out of the sky and crashing into a pile of books she was about to put back in its place.

"Are you incapable of feeling a single ounce of remorse? We have enough problems with these Seal Crystals! We don't have time for you!"

"Mar-is-a-Ki-ri-sa-me!" Reimu shouted out as she flew into the library above the bridges of the second floor. The second of three stories, filled of shelves so high each of them required a ladder, all of them stuffed end to end with books.

Amber had to whistle at the sight of that library she wanted to get into herself when she stopped at the doorway. Sakuya had to tap her shoulder to break the spell that library put her in.

"Gomen ne, Amber-san," Sakuya said as Meiling rounded a corner and toward the two, "but I must ask for your assistance a bit earlier than I wanted to. This is the only major way in or out, and by now Oujou-sama has triggered locks on most the doors and windows. Guard this place with China and keep everyone inside. If you see a black and white rat flying your way, kick her back into play."

"Got it," Amber said as she stood next to Meiling.

Then Sakuya vanished to the tone of that whoosh-chooon and reappeared by Reimu. That's when some memory synapses in Amber Merichello connected to each other.

'Dammit, Amber,' she muttered, scolding herself, 'did you just forget that Sakuya Izayoi's a clock stopper? It's just like...'

Amber's memories streaked back to a Barony of Chronicla, and she was in a maid's uniform that ensured that she stood straight with her hands in front of her apron. She was still looking around while the others just looked down in a proper pose. The master of Castle Chronicla is letting her get away with Murder, as far as nobles go. But she couldn't help but check him out. A tall and handsome man with a chiseled chin, a black business suit, well-kept silver hair that's on point, silver eyes that can gaze into her soul and send fireworks in her head, and those wings…oh, those soft, warm, billowy, black, raven-like angel wings. Small wonder Lord Amaunator Izayoi has a lot of maids. What woman wouldn't want to feel those wings around your shoulders? Even she didn't know what a crush truly was until she was squirming before Amaunator like a schoolgirl in front of the senior Quarterback. Fortunately, Amaunator has standards when it comes to consent. "Come back in four years," he told her.

In this memory, Amaunator was staring down some idiot nobleman spewing crap about something she couldn't remember, something something lost honor something something and then…whoosh-chooonthe jerk started to bleed out of his mouth and crumpled to the ground. Nobody saw anyone as much as flinch or twitch, it didn't register in anyone's brain. It wasn't even announced. Bastard was spouting shit and then he was on the floor with four broken ribs! The only sign Amber would have over what happened was Amaunator favoring his right fist and giving her a "I know, right?" glance.

That was when she figured out what that ping was about. That whoosh-chooon combined sound was when Amaunator stopped time.

It's the same sound Sakuya made.

"No way," Amber said to herself as she snapped back to reality. "Those two can't be related, right?"

"That no-good book thief's always has a way to sneak her way into here," Meiling said as she took a standing pose ready to attack. "We've found twelve ways she got in here to date and I know there are two dozen more we haven't thought of. I'm sure she did the same thing to just about any other bookstore. But once she's funneled over here, we can get her."

"And I have a special card just for the occasion right there." Amber said as she showed Meiling the card she pulled out of her Chronicle Book.

Meiling's eyes went wide when she saw the card she held. "Amber, how did you get that…" Then she smiled wide. "No, no no, I think that particular card would be very appropriate here."

"Reimu-san, cease fire," Sakuya said as she held the Hakurei Miko's shoulder. "We've got this."

"What do you mean you got this, Sakuya?" Reimu asked, and to answer the maid pointed to four locations below them.

One such location was right in a blind corner Marisa was about to take, she rounded a bookshelf and almost ran right into Flandre! "Hiiiiiii Marisaaaaaa!"

"Gyaaaaaa," Marisa screamed. "Flan!"

"I'm gonna catch yaaaaa!" Flandre said as she started to fly toward her.

Marisa went backwards on her broom, found an intersection to turn around and bolted through another allyway and her way out was cut off by a second Flandre. "Let's play, Marisa!"

"Oh, no," Marisa said, "not Four of a Kind!" And then she bolted to another hallway…

…and ran into a third Flandre. "It's not fun if you run away, Marisa-chaaaaaan!"

"Oh, no, not now, Flan!" Marisa said now panicking as she spun around and tried to hide behind one bookshelf, looking for an opening to escape.

"Psssst...don't look now, Marisa…." Marisa recognized the whisper of the fourth Flan. "But I'm right behind you!" That Flan leapt up to hug her, laughing like a maniac with eyes to match.

Marisa went the only direction she knew she had: Straight up. She bolted above the bookshelves in the atrium and toward the main door.

"She's coming Amber!" All four Flandre's sang in a chorus.

"Gangway gangway, I'm coming through-ze!" Marisa said as she spread toward the door and toward Amber. "Get outta the…"

Amber flashed a spell card with a very familiar image of a giant beam of light.

Marisa looked as if she was about to stare down someone who just told her that she's already dead. "Nani?"

]]]============[[[

Earlier
Hakurei Shrine

"As the Youkai in Gensokyo increased throughout the years, Amber, culminating in the arrival of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, it became more and more difficult in dealing with youkai. There was an ever-increasing chance of someone getting seriously hurt. Some youkais can't be defeated without causing catastrophic damage and loss of innocent lives. And of course, some of them would actually succeed in killing me."

"And when you go," Amber replied, "So does the Hakurei Barrier."

"Hai," Reimu nodded, "and that would be even worse. I realized that a way to resolve conflicts and incidents without taking things too far was needed. And I wasn't alone in this, because one day Remilia Scarlet…of all people…came to me to negotiate an alternative." The Hakurei Miko gave a smirk. "Sure, she's got her moments—the Red Mist Incident happened about a month after we set the rules in stone—but when she needs to get serious over things, Remi can really get her head on straight. The two of us created the Spell Card Battle Rules, which became how we do things here in Gensokyo. It became the means of settling our differences in a non-lethal combat scenario. ZUN watched our Spell Card battles and it became the inspiration of all those bullet hell shooters you played as a kid."

"Looks like it's something I need to learn myself while I'm here."

"You're doing that with all those spell cards you're picking up. You already found out you don't need to draw in that much of this Mana you speak of to cast them, which is good. You'll notice that your defense cards have a shield that can withstand a certain amount of damage. Once you whittle the shield down to the point where you can tag the defender once—you only need to get 'im with one bullet—you've beaten that card and they need to go to the next in the deck."

"Do they just stick to one side, Attacker and Defender, or do they alternate?"

"That depends. Originally, I'm attacking and the youkai's defending. I can use shots—most of them come from my ofuda talismans, and I have a set number of times I can use a Spell Card as a bomb, when I get in trouble. You can have more than one Attack Spell Card for this bomb; it's the number of times you can bomb that's important. If you bomb when you're not supposed to, you're disqualified. The defender has the Defense Deck with all their Defense Spell Cards, preferably with a Last Word card at the bottom, declared. You can have some spell cards that are not official spell cards, just simpler danmaku to put between actual spell cards; I'll show you how to make one. I'm supposed to take down the whole deck of the defender's Spell Cards one by one. If I do that, I win. The youkai I'm attacking must keep up the current spell card, they can move around if they must, and attempt to tag me a certain number of times, usually seven. Think of it as lives. If I run out of lives, they win."

"Is there any other formats?"

"There are. A second format for Spell Card Battles was created by a troublesome little deity named Eiki Shiki. Don't piss her off or she'll talk your ear off. She helped design a variant of Spell Card Battles that resembles a Boxing or Martial Art match. She even created a governing body, the GDCF—Gensokyo Danmaku Combat Federation—created by who is usually the referee in these matches. The GDCF sets up the Arena rules, such as a set number of rounds where we do alternate, an arena, judges for a decision, what cards are allowed or banned, and so on."

"That's something I might need to take with me back home," Amber mused. "We get a lot of conflicts in Penumaria, and more often than not they get bloody."

"Plenty of wars?"

"Yeah, and while the celestials there have something like a Geneva Convention, not everyone follows it. Someone takes it too far too often. I've seen it happen; it isn't pretty. To have a way to resolve conflicts and incidents without bloodshed, or at least, without killing…"

"Looks like you'd be doing a doubled honor, Amber-kun," Reimu smiled. "Since you'll be collecting these Spell Cards and studying them to create this Touhou Arts you told me about…Nice name for it."

"I knew you'd appreciate it. I wonder if ZUN would think the same thing?"

"Next time he's here you can ask him. And you're right, you should take Spell Card Battles to your world as an alternative to war. Perhaps you, me, and Remilia should put the up-to-date rules in a book somewhere."

"Another thing on my to-do list, Reimu-kun. I…hope you don't mind me getting chatty with the Scarlet Devil for a bit…since she's the other one who designed it."

"Just watch your neck and don't stare into her eyes."

"Right, now then," Amber whipped out the 'Love Sign: Master Spark' card. "Let's see how little mana I need to fire off this." She held it up. "Spell Card!" It glowed.

]]]============[[[

Current time, Day 1 Evening
Scarlet Devil Mansion Library

"Spell Card!"

The spell card flashes and summons her own dwarven-made Hakkero to Amber's hand, aimed at Marisa. The look on her face was of someone who just knew she screwed up. Even though, she had to shake her head the way a toon makes when she's about to be knocked into orbit and could only say, 'nonononononopleaseno.'

"Oh no, you didn't," Remilia mused with a wicked smile.

"Is she going to hit Marisa with the…" That was all Reimu could say.

Amber just smiled and did small nod that says, 'oh yes, sister.' "Koifu 'Masutaa Supaaku'!"

Everyone on the floor of the library just looked up in utter shock as a blast of white light shot in through the door and engulfed Marisa. By now Amber knew how to cast a Spell Card do that it didn't hurt the Ordinary Magician slash Book Thief, but it did throw her backward, broom and all, to crash into a large pile of books. Everyone just went 'WHOAAAAAAAAH!'

Flandre was the first to find her voice. "Was that a Master Spark?" The others followed suit in random order. "Did someone hit Marisa with a Master Spark?!" "That was the Master Spark, was it?!" It finished with Remilia flying up to Amber. "Did that Master Spark come from you?!" Remilia was beyond surprised and gleeful. "I wish I had a camera so I can take a picture of Marisa's face the moment she knew she was gonna get it!" Remilia then let out an 'ooooooooo-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!' that echoed throughout the entire library in a textbook aristocratic haughty fashion. It was almost like she practiced at it, and she probably did during the 500 years of her life. Had to. She still looks like a ten-year-old.

Even Marisa didn't know if she could moan or laugh, nonetheless she did showed anger. "Am-ber-Mer-i-chel-lo! I knew you'd pull off that stunt. Hitting me with my own spell card? Just what I expect from a little spell card thie—OOF!"

"You have no right to complain, Marisa," Patchouli said as she placed a slippered foot on Marisa's back. Personally, I find it kind ironic and a whole lot of karmic to see someone use their own Master Spark on you, after all the books you borrowed from my library!" She then turned to Amber as she was floating down to the others. "To quote you, Amber Merichello; at first, I was curious, now you have my attention. How were you able to use spell cards?"

"She got them from the Seal Crystals, Patchy," Remilia said.

"Really?" Patchouli scratched her chin. "They're fascinating little objects, are they not? I look at them and I could seem them containing the wisdom of the universe inside them." She shrugged. "Or packs for one of those card games, either or."

Remilia made a thoughtful pose with a finger to her chin. "Reimu hinted that it might release something else if someone else cracked them open…and not have them explode, of course. Is that's why you asked Sakuya to fetch you that book?"

"If Koakuma didn't know what Suzunaan had such a book, I wouldn't have asked Sakuya to fetch it. She said there was a second copy, did you get it, Amber?"

"As a matter of fact I did," Amber said as she patted her bag strapped to her right hip. "I didn't want to always depend on Reimu to unseal them all. And there are times when I try to emulate a divine ritual with my arcane style."

"Considering what I'm sensing in you, Amber, I wouldn't be surprised." Patchouli said as she got up close to Amber again, face to face, eyes looking right at hers. "I wonder what other cards you might get from them. And also that book you keep them in…"

Amber had to gulp and blush, with Patchouli being so close to her. Remilia had to check her shut-in librarian friend, "Patchy, personal space, remember?"

"Oh, no you don't, Marisa!" Sakuya said as she held the black and white witch girl at the point of a dagger before she could sneak away. "Game over, you rat. You've lost. It's Batsu time."

Marisa gulped.

"You know the drill by now, Marisa," Remilia all but sang as she spoke. "You've got caught, and now you gotta be punished. You're going to have to be my kid sister's playmate for the next twelve hours."

That got the four Flandres giggling, each of them rubbing her hands with a wicked smile.

And Amber had to say it: "That don't sound too bad."

Remilia gave Amber a sly grin. "She will also, Amber, during this whole time, be stuck in this. Sakuya?"

There was another blink where Sakuya stopped time. Amber didn't notice anything different. She was seeing Sakuya at the time. Whatever she did, she went back the same spot and held the same pose as before. Amber wondered what change Sakuya made until she turned toward Marisa.

Marisa was no longer in her usual black and white witch outfit. She got stripped down to the brief and bra and then stuffed into a solid pink skintight bodysuit—she was even stripped of her broom and Mini-Hakkero—which covered her entire body neck to toe in that solid pink color. Her entire face was covered with the wide-eyed smiling face a pink cartoon mouse girl, complete with a snout, a black plum shaped nose, and bright blue eyes that Marisa can see out but nobody can see in. The eyes can blink, and the mouth can move a bit, but that was it. Marisa was completely enclosed and hidden behind this bright smiling cartoon mouse. Only her hair was visible and even then, a hair ribbon with two big pink circular ears and a huge red and white polka-dotted bow was strapped on top. She was also dressed in a red and white polka-dotted dress with frilly drawers and puffy sleeves too large and exaggerated, with a black bodice molded to her chest and breasts. A built-in corset held her chest tight. Her feet had on huge black high heeled shoes, so large she had to walk with her feet apart in a cartoony gait and forget about running. Her hands were stuffed in white four-fingered gloves so padded and big that she couldn't bend the fingers that far, resembling mittens more than fingers. And when she tried to move, in fact if she tried to move in the slightest, she found herself surrounded by the ringing of jingle bells.

Marisa looked like she walked right out of some kiddie amusement park! Even her voice was altered into a squeaky falsetto. "SQUEEEEK! oh no, remilia. not again. not the mousie mouse costume again!"

"Yes again, Marisa Mousie!" Remilia teased, "That's right. You're Marisa Mousie now, my sis's favorite toy!" She then lifted the magician turned mouse on the chin. "And I've already locked the costume so that you won't be taking it off."

"don't you dare laugh, amber!" Marisa squeaked in her cartoon mouse voice as she was being surrounded by four Flandres who was clapping in approval. "Marisa Mousie! Marisa Mousie!"

Amber did her best not to. "I have hahaha no intention to…fffffft…I have no right tahaha talk crap. Someone get her hahaha outta here before I bust a gut!"

But then Marisa tried to get up, and with her hands spread out in their gloves and her feet in shoes 20 sizes too large, she ended up flailing and stumbling and squealing before she could get to a standing base…only to fall on her rump filling the room with those jingle bells. And something in her mask let out a 'HONK!' as she collapsed.

"Flan Pile!" All four Flandres sang in unison as they leaped over and pounced on Marisa Mousie, nearly smothering her in a group hug.

"Go have some fun with her for a while, Flan," Patchouli said. "But I want her to clean up this mess she caused in my library. And she is not to be taken out of that suit until she puts them all back."

"but i didn't make this—EEEEEEE!" Marisa the Mouse found herself grabbed on both arms and legs, each Flandre grabbing a leg, and she was being carried away to the chant of "Batsu! Batsu! Batsu! Batsu! Batsu!"

"You should be glad I'm not making you march through the Human Village and into your home in the Forest of Magic to get my books you stole, and to walk back the same way." Patchouli waited until the high-pitched voices were faded away before she sighed. "Yada yada dazeeeeee!"

"Heh heh, oh brudder," Amber had to hold her head to keep her from laughing her rear off, and all the others were doing the same. "I had something like that when my friends come over back home. I found a skimpy and embarrassing outfit from a seedier part of a major city. It's similar to one of those bunny girl costumes. I set it out and we girls play some sort of game. Card game, board game, test of nerve. The loser has to strip, put the outfit on, and wear it for the whole weekend, even during errands." She looked toward the hallway where Marisa the Mouse was dragged away. "How long have you had that costume; may I ask?"

"Three months back," Sakuya said. "We had to get it redesigned. It used to have black fur, only have that polka dotted dress and yellow shoes. But Oujou-sama didn't want to be bothered by copyright lawyers."

Remilia had to nod. "Yeah, I'm supposed to have the rep as the most frightening and deadly creature in all of Gensokyo, but there are lines I just won't cross."

Reimu just slapped Amber on the shoulder trying to stop laughing. "We have things like this happening all the time, Amber. Welcome to Gensokyo; I hope you survive the experience."

"Wait til you see what goes on between the Buddhists and the Taoists," Patchouli coughed. "One moment." She reached for her inhaler.

"I might have a tea that can help you with that Miss Patchy," Amber said as Patchouli took a puff.

There was a puff and a big inhale from Patchouli, a couple more coughs, and then she resumed. "Considering what you and Remi might've been talking about, I might be trying it out. We've…talked about you becoming a maid for a more…ahem…ethical means into this library."

"It's a part time deal, Patchy," Remilia said. "Sakuya's getting her a uniform to boot."

"And I'll be sure to treat the books a lot better than Marisa does," Amber replied.

"Please do. You of all people would understand my desire for knowledge, Amber-san. I would value what these Seal Crystals can offer as much as this library, if I can release the seals the right way."

"I hope you'd be more careful, Patchy,' Reimu replied. "They'd explode if you don't do it right."

"I know. That's why I moved the four I have to a cleared off space in the study. Come this way."

Patchouli pulled a set of keys out of a pocket in her pajamas and unlocks a door to a spiraling staircase to the observatory. She lets Amber, Sakuya, and Remilia in, but she was about to slam the door on Reimu.

"It it deals with these Seal Crystals," Amber asked her, "then I'd like to keep Reimu in the loop as much as I can. The way I do things, the more brains on this, the better."

Patchouli had to sigh. "She better not touch anything. The Hakurei Miko's caused enough trouble for one day!"

]]]============[[[

Patchouli's observatory was in a tower accessible only by a spiraling staircase, which can be traversed by floating straight up, which was what just about everyone did including Amber on her broom. At the top was a circular dome with a glass top and curtains which Sakuya pulled down to reveal the starry night sky. There was a giant telescope as well as an orrery, some tables with scientific items, various tables with sketches and schematics, and wall to wall bookshelves, only here it's filled with notebooks, some bound, some spiral, some are just pads or even loose-leaf sheets of paper bound by a clip. Not to mention the occasional binder or two. "You've took notes on everything in your research, Patchy?" Amber said with a nod. "I do it too."

"I have Koakuma know where everything is. You might think of her as a walking card catalog. Or rather, a flying card catalog."

"I've been with Patchouli-sama all throughout her life," Koakuma said. "I've been sorting her books so often that I memorized them all."

The approached a circular table in the center of the room where the four cubes are placed.

Both Patchouli and Amber opened their copies of the book. "This is written in Outside World Japanese, Amber," Patchouli said. "Are you sure you're able to read…"

Amber reached into her bag hanging off her right and pulled out a vial of a combination of black and white powder. She took out a pinch and sprinkled it onto the book. "I got a spell that can let me read any written language. And in case you're wondering how I can speak to you…" Amber reached into her hair and pulled out her ear, that had a pierced earring on it that sparkled. "With these, I can pick up any language I hear within a few hours. And since one of the languages in Penumaria is close enough to the language spoken here, I picked it up almost instantly." Amber's not going to tell anyone save Reimu that she learned Japanese before she even heard of Penumaria.

Remilia's childlike curiosity over Amber returned. "You sure have a lot of tricks."

"I'm a witch, Remilia, what do ya expect? Okay, it says here that the devices must be in a protective barrier so that if it explodes the blast would be mediated. Any magic circle meant to contain otherworldly beings would suffice. I think I have something like that." And with that, she reached into that bag to her right pulled out a storage tube that was considerably longer than the height of the bag.

"A bag of holding?" Remilia asked.

"The things Amber could pull out of them," Reimu mused.

"I have one as well," Patchouli said as she pulled out a side of her robe to reveal the bag.

Reimu had to blink. "You had one of them all this time?"

"Found one before they brought the Mansion here."

"You didn't tell anyone that you had that?"

"Nobody asked."

Amber pulled out a cap to the tube and pulled out a blue felt cloth, which had such a magic circle printed on it when she rolled it on the table. "I use this to contain fairies that'd taken their proverbial mean pills that day. I put them in the circle and activate it; they can't get out until they decide to behave."

"Something we can use on Cirno," Sakuya commented as she placed the cubes down.

"Now then, we need something to stick on the cubes, a protective charm. Reimu's ofuda could do the trick …"

Reimu would've reached in her skirt but…

"Here you go," Patchouli said, accompanied by the thud of a thick stack of used ofuda half a foot tall landing on the table most certainly did. The sheer height made Amber's eyes go wide.

"I can't believe that you collected all the ofuda I threw at you, Patchy," Reimu muttered.

"We did say you cause a lot of trouble here, did we?" Patchouli countered.

Amber just started peeling off the paper charms from the stack. "Let's see if there's any of them can still stick to things."

Amber needed to try three dozen of them to find enough of those paper charms with enough adhesive backing to stick to the cubes.

Amber then stood up and pressed her fingers on the borders of the magic circle. She closed her eyes and concentrated. "The trick in my style of magic is that you don't need to pull that much mana. In fact, if you pull too much the effect's unpredictable and sometimes gets you burned a bit." The circle started to glow. "Think if it like a huge lake made by a dam, and you're at the lower side of that dam and you want to draw water from the lake. Sure, you could open the floodgate but…then you'll be nearly drowning in fast moving water."

Remilia's sudden shaking was nearly audible.

"You get the idea, Oujou-sama. If the acid burn doesn't get you, the drowning will. You have to imagine you pulling the mana through a straw, and only take in enough to do the job. Heeeere we go…" Amber then proceeded to mutter an incantation that Patchouli tried to follow as she kept a step back.

The glow moved from the circle and into the ofuda who separated and dissolved around the cubes, and then the cubes broke to their pieces, much to the awe and delight of Remilia and the surprise and wonder of everyone else. The pieces spun around and created a blinding flash and when it faded, four more spell cards were resting on the table.

"Looks like I got a double," Amber said as she pulled out her Spirit Sign 'Fantasy Seal' (Easy) card and placed it over the one that popped out of one of the cars. "The other ones are new."

"You're not kidding about these cards can come from anywhere," Sakuya said with a slight smile that might have been a smirk. "Two of these cards come from me: Illusion Sign 'Killing Doll,' and Silver Sign 'Silver Bound.' Normally I'd be a bit perturbed, but since you're going to be a subordinate of me…" Both of those cards shown daggers, one in a circle while another ricocheting all over. (Respectively in order.)

"Oh great," Amber moaned. "Something tells me my training's going to be rough."

Sakuya just giggled.

"The Silver Bound card's not like the others," Patchouli said pointing to the word on top of the card: Normal.

"I knew that had something to do with the card's rarity…probably it's power as well. I can add that to my Defense Deck, along with this one. Flowery Soul 'Swallowtail Butterfly.' I'm getting a large enough deck to work with, at least for starters."

"That's Yuyuko SaigyOujou-sama's spell card," Reimu said. "I'd bet she'd like to see it. We're going to see her next on our Usual Suspect's walk.

"That's usually the case," Remilia said. "And now that the sun has properly set, I might even join you. I just need to make sure I got enough sunscreen on me." She took Sakuya's hand, but then paused to look over her shoulder at Amber.

"That's what you've been smelling, Amber-kun. It has an SPF in the four digits and is hooked to a sprayer. Sakuya makes sure I have it all over me." She tilted her head. "After all, I can't be too sure that the sun had set over where Yuyuko is. Let's not take too long, Sakuya."

"Of course, Oujou-sama." Sakuya said as she lead her away.

]]]============[[[

Meanwhile, in an underground chamber made to be a playroom, Flandre was cranking a giant jack-in-a-box, complete with a 'Pop goes the Weasel,' tune on a comb and drum music box, when the song reached the right point before the 'pop' part, the top flew open and—BOIIIIIING!—Marisa Mousie sprang out with a loud "SQUEEEEK!" as she bobbed up and down on the string, which held a marionette cross that had Marisa tied wrist, ankle, and back on strings, the jingle bells she produced accompanied the box's music. And Marisa's high pitched cries.

Flandre laughed and clapped as she saw the costumed rodent frail about, only to fly up there and stuff the mouse back in.

"aw come on, flan. how many times are you gonna do this?"

"As long as I feel like it," Flandre said as she started cranking again.

"no, stop it, it's driving me insane!"

Donk donk-donk donk-donk-dink-donk-donk!

"That's no big loss." Flandre's eyes were crazed. "Besides, sanity's overrated anyway."

BOIIIIIING! "SQUEEEEK!" Donk donk-donk donk donk! Jingle Jingle Jingle "eeeeeeeeeee"

Liner Notes:

A note on some of the terms you're not familiar with, or at least out of place in a Touhou Story. The majority of the story is told from Amber's perspective. (Meaning, there's a lot more going on than what she experienced, and word about her is being spread, as Amber herself would realize in Episode 4.) Amber's been in Penumaria so much that her mindset is in the perspective of the D&D style world. And Nalladrie was right, Amber didn't even think of asking her whatever or not Gensokyo was real. She'd be marking out like all of Chicago did when CM Punk became All Elite if that were the case. But in all other respects, she's been in Penumaria so much that she's forgotten a good chunk of what goes on in Gaia (her name for the Outside World.) Except for Touhou, Amber has lost all familiarity with Outside World technology. Because of this, there are some parts of her perspective—which most of this story takes place in—which will be out in left field to some readers. It's why I keep these liner notes at the end of these episodes, and why there will be a Microsoft OneNote Book at the end of this section.

Coinage. Most D&D worlds have a decimal system when it comes to coins: 10 Coppers make a Silver, 10 Silvers a Gold Piece, and 10 Gold Pieces a Platinum. Pennies, Dimes, Dollars, and Tenspots. What these coins look like and what they're named are different for each setting and even in parts of a particular setting. An example of that being a Gold Dragon and a Gold Lion, both of which appear in Toril (The Forgotten Realms) and both count as one Gold Piece.

It is a common convention in a D&D world to accept coins from any part of the setting, or in some cases different settings, on a one on one basis provided that the relative size and weight of a coin is similar. Penumaria is not only a gateway realm to The Realms (the combined multiverse of every D&D campaign settings that exist) but it's also a patchwork setting consisting pieces of all these settings. That is why Amber had so many different kinds of coins.

To help keeping the coins in Penumaria valid coin, there is an inter-national treaty that forms an agreement over what coin from what setting is valued how much. That's why the all-steel 'Gold Piece' Amber got from Krynn (Dragonlance) is considered a Gold Piece even though it isn't made of gold.

However, this may be a problem with Gensokyo, who runs only on the Japanese Yen. Fortunately there was a handy money changer in the form of Korin. The other place is the Hieda Bank in the Human Village

Tiefling. You might catch Amber calling Koakuma a 'tiefling' instead of a devil. This might cause some question marks in the Little Devil and possibly a wonder whatever or not she should be offended, but Amber would easily explain the matter.

In D&D Tieflings are a peoplekind (My way of saying 'humanoid' because there's more than just humans in this creature type) race of beings that resembles traditional devils, reddish or metallic skin, horns on the head (in the case of Koakuma, wings) a prehensile tail with a tip, and a usual devilish demeanor. Tieflings came about in any D&D world when someone from long time ago formed a pact with an arch-devil. Due to an aftereffect of such a pact, either they were transformed into the form of a devil themselves, or their children were burn in such a likeness. It's different in Penumaria in that there is no outer realms where fiends come from, but more than one angel from Gaia is known to come here to be a temporary trickster spirit and mischief maker while they're there. While they spread out their mayhem, they assume the classic devil form as a disguise.

Come on, folks. Do you really think that Lucifer would ever be caught dead with red skin, horns, bat wings, and a pointed tail?

The Tieflings in Penumaria are descendants of these pseudo-devils, and that's where Amber gets the thought of calling the 'Little Devil' a tiefling. Fortunately it's not regarded as derogatory, and Amber will gladly explain the matter.

And here's one that isn't from Amber's Point of View: Batsu. Or to be more specific, Batsu Games. That's when someone goes through something silly, embarrassing, or even downright humiliating, because they lost a bet. Or in the case of Marisa Kirisame, getting caught stealing books from the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It's a common element in Japanese comedy, and it was made famous in one of the Japanese shows I loved to watch, Gaki no Tsukai. (Seriously, go do a Video Search on that series, they're a hoot. They're really (in)famous for the No-Laughing New Years Eve specials.) Being locked in that amusement park mouse costume and made to be Flandre Scarlet's plaything is one such Batsu. Amber's use of a Bunny Girl suit back home also qualifies. Who knows what Reimu puts the ones she bests in these Spell Card Battles? Or rather, what happens to Reimu if she loses.

OneNote Bible

Whenever I make a story, I keep copious notes and often go overboard on the world building. Even with an existing setting, I often add so much on it that it could make its own mini-setting on itself. It's my tendency to do some very bad things to the Forgotten Realms is why I created Penumaria in the first place. (I wouldn't be surprised if Chris Perkins comes up to me and goes, 'I'm still watching you, motherfucker.') I wanted to do three things to all of my notes: One is to keep them well-organized in a single place. Then have it be a space to expand on the story. This OneNote Book will have some bonus scenes to this episode, and expect more as we go, and there is even a glimpse inside that Chronicle of Amber's as the stories, the deck of cards, and her notes progresses. And of course, you would be able to see what's going on in my sick and twisted mind.

For this purpose, I find Microsoft OneNote a godsend. I can count on one hand the number of redeeming qualities that Microsoft has, but OneNote is on the top of that very short list. It is an excellent note-keeping program that allows for organizing your note in a binder like format, allows for collaboration, and allows for an implementation of the 'Four Dimension Spreadsheet' format. I can also publish these books online on one drive.

And such is the case with this OneNote Bible which I compiled all the notes (and including a reproduction of the Chronicle book) together in one place. It will be updated with each episode. You can access them now at this URL (because of security matters, the url is masked:)

1drv dot ms[slash] u [slash] s!AjNYReLtj6OInR4_WHvAq_ifEVYy

You do not need to download OneNote to view it, although it is recommended.

Preview of next Episode

Alice returns with her own research in Seal Gems. Would she be able to improve her dolls with them or just uproot her house? And if they only knew what Yuyuko wanted to do with them they'd be bolting their way to stop the ghost princess.

"Yuyuko-sama, eat a Snickers. You're not sane when you're hungry."

"B-b-b-but Youmu-san…I'm always hungry!"