14. Communication
The phone was ringing. Glory, it couldn't be past five am, I thought, feeling like my limbs were weighted down with lead as I tried to remember what day it was. But I had to answer the phone. With everything going on, just sleeping through it wasn't an option, even if I had work in a few hours. Thursday. It was Thursday. I felt like I'd just gotten off a roof, and in a few hours, I'd be back on one. Still, we needed the money more than ever, and besides, the phone was still ringing. It could be news about my brother, I told myself. So I managed to drag myself upright, then into the living room as quickly as I could, picking up on what must have been the tenth ring. Whoever it was, they really wanted to reach me. Or Sodapop...but Sodapop was still asleep, and Steve was groaning on the couch, begging me to make it stop as he rolled over, pulling the blanket over his head.
He'd been staying over more and more lately. The night before he'd shown up with a bloody nose so I'd told him to stay as long as he wanted.
"Hello?" I all but groaned, knowing I shouldn't answer the phone like that. Once, Ponyboy had answered the phone like that when I'd called the house, and I'd snapped at him. I'd bitten his head off. Not too long after the funeral...heck, maybe two months. Over the last nine months, it was as if my brain had decided to relive every single time I'd yelled at him...every time we'd fought or hadn't gotten along. Every time I'd said the phrase 'use your head.' I'd been his guardian, and all I'd ever done was yell at him. Of course, he'd been mouthy plenty of times, but he was a fourteen-year-old kid who'd just lost both of his parents and suddenly had to answer to his big brother. I'd do better. I swore I would, as soon as I got him back.
That thought was shoved from my brain, however, when the voice on the phone spoke up.
"Darry?"
The thought that it could be my little brother hadn't even occurred to me. It had been so long...so long since I'd talked to him. That day. It had been the day they'd taken him away. When was the last time we'd had a real conversation that hadn't ended in one of us yelling...usually me? I had no idea. Immediately my throat was closing. The words of the boys from that foster home came back….everything that man had done to my baby brother. Everything I hadn't been able to protect him from.
"Ponyboy?" I choked on his name but it came out anyway. "Pony? Little buddy, is that you?" I asked, and on the other side of the room, Steve pushed back the blankets, sitting up and staring at me in the dark, suddenly wide awake.
"Yeah. Darry...I'm sorry." His voice was weak...barely there. It had been so long...his voice was deeper. Despite how quiet it was, I could tell. He was older. Almost a year older than the last time I'd seen him...held him. It wasn't just the depth of his voice that was different though...he sounded different . Just those four words...he sounded afraid. Like someone who was used to being afraid. Like Johnny. Glory, he sounded just like Johnny, who had gone missing. Dally didn't seem concerned though, assuring us Johnny was fine, and I hoped he had been sent by Dally to wherever Pony was. That thought was actually comforting. Pony would need someone to look out for him, and those two had always taken care of each other.
Ponyboy was on the phone. My eyes were hot...I couldn't start crying. Not now. Not when I'd finally been given the chance to talk to him. "Don't be sorry, kiddo. You don't have to be sorry…"
"I miss you. I love you, Darry." He said the words like he'd been holding them in for too long. He probably had. Nine months.
"I love you too...I miss you so much, honey." I was whispering, dropping into my recliner, my eyes shut as I focused on his voice. I wanted him to keep talking. I just wanted to hear him talk. "Are you okay?"
"I…Dal told you…" he stammered, grasping for his words. I could picture it...I knew exactly what he looked like when he was grasping for words, trying to find something to say. Or maybe I didn't...what if he looked different? He would have scars on his arms. Cigarette burns and bruises. What else had that man done to my little brother?
"Yeah, Dally told us," I interrupted. "You know Mark and Tyler? The other boys in that house?"
"Sure," he said, apparently trying to catch up with my train of thought.
"They came over...told Soda and me everything."
He was silent.
I wanted to ask him why...why hadn't he told us? Why hadn't he talked to Soda on the phone that last time...told him how bad it really was? But I knew why. "I'm so sorry, Pony," I whispered, knowing Steve could hear...could see me crying like a baby as I talked to my little brother. I couldn't have cared less. "I'm sorry I let this happen. I'm sorry I couldn't stop this." It had been my one job...after our parents had died, it had been my most important job. Take care of my brothers...especially Ponyboy. The youngest...the baby. Sure, there had been times when he'd driven me crazy, and I'd wondered how Mom and Dad could have put up with him...and then I'd hit him. Then I'd realized how bad our relationship had gotten. And then they'd taken him away from me before I could fix it.
"You didn't know," he whispered, sounding like he was crying too. What I wouldn't give to be able to reach out and hug him. To tell him that it was going to be okay. But I couldn't make those words come. "I didn't want you to know."
"Glory, Pony," I choked out, shaking my head. He was silent on the other line, and I reigned in my temper. I wasn't mad at him...but holy hell did I hate that man. Never before had I wanted to kill someone with my bare hands before, not even the socs that had jumped my brothers, but I think I would enjoy seeing him die. He hadn't wanted me to know. Why? Because he knew I couldn't do anything? Or because he'd been afraid I would do something?
Or, worst of all, because he'd been afraid I wouldn't?
"I'm sorry," he apologized again in that same, dead tone.
"No...Pony…" I didn't know what to say. It had been so long...heck, one of the last real conversations we'd had had ended in me hitting him. I still had nightmares about that. "Are you okay now?" I asked, taking a deep breath. He seemed as willing to move on to a new topic as I was. It was a stupid question...he wasn't okay...well, he hadn't been. But maybe he was better now.
"Yeah...now...I think I'm far enough away." He took a long, shuddering breath and my own breath caught a little. He was on the run, hiding from a man that wanted to kill him. To kill my baby brother. "I didn't think I was going to get away," he admitted, and I heard the tears in his voice. "They caught me...after they killed her. I barely got away...I ran for so long."
"It's gonna be alright, honey. I promise." I had no way to know that, but I would uphold that promise if it killed me. I'd make it okay...that was my job. The most important one I had.
"They killed her, Dar."
"I know." One hand was in a fist so tight it was making my muscles cramp, but at least I hadn't hit anything. Who knew what my little brother had seen them do to that poor girl. "I know, Pony. I'm so sorry." He'd lived with her. Maybe they'd been friends. He'd tried to look out for her, according to those guys. He'd watched them kill, and who knew what else, his foster sister out behind a bar.
"There was nothing I could do. There were so many of them…" He was crying now, and it broke my heart.
"Of course you couldn't. There wasn't a thing you could have done. You're lucky you got away," I reminded him, hoping he didn't feel guilty about this...that he didn't have to live with that too. "Pony…"
"I thought they were going to kill me, Darry," he sobbed. "I thought I'd never see you guys again. I'm sorry I didn't come to you. I'm so sorry...I should have told you...but you couldn't do anything. Not against him."
"Pony, we're gonna take care of this, okay? Don't worry. You just sit tight. Are you okay there?" I didn't ask where 'there' was...where my little brother was. Dally had probably told him not to tell, and besides, if I knew, I might go get him. "Do you need anything?"
"No." He sniffed, apparently trying to pull himself together. "No, I'm alright."
"If you need anything, kiddo...you just let me know, okay? You can call anytime. For anything. Anything you need, I'll find a way to take care of it." I didn't know how. But I would figure it out. Anything. I had a lot to make up for.
"I miss you guys so much," he murmured. "I'm so sorry, Darry."
"You gotta stop apologizing, kiddo," I chastised him gently. Opening my eyes for the first time, I saw Steve, his elbows on his knees, hands clasped as he listened solemnly. I didn't bother asking him to go away. "None of this is your fault."
"I shouldn't have run that night."
"I shouldn't have hit you," I reminded him, shaking my head as though he could see. "I'm the one who should be sorry."
"I shouldn't have been home so late." I smiled a bit, recognizing that tone. He was being stubborn. I thought of our mom and dad and chuckled a little. He certainly got it honest. Every one of us was stubborn as mules. He seemed to relax a little on the other end of the line, even laughing a little when I did.
"How about we decide what was who's fault when you get home, kiddo? We can talk about it then."
"Yeah, okay. Sounds good…"
"We're gonna fix this, Pony. You gotta believe me. We're gonna get it straightened out...make sure it's safe for you to come back."
"You don't know this guy, Darry," he was back to whispering again, like he was scared that asshole would somehow hear him.
"Richard Norton." I said the name like I would a curse. "I know who he is, kiddo. And I'm gonna make sure he pays for what he did."
"Darry, don't!" He sounded panicked now. "Listen, he killed Lianne. They...they took her out behind that bar…" He trailed off, his breath coming in gasps, and I cut him off.
"Look, we aren't gonna do anything reckless. I promise. You don't have to worry. We've got the whole gang, and Tim's gang...we're going to be careful. I know this guy is no joke."
"They'd already dug the hole," he whispered, and I closed my eyes, wishing more than anything that he was here and not there . I wanted him to be in that room with me so I could put my arms around him. It had been so long.
"Pony…" I didn't even know what to say, and apparently, he didn't want to have this conversation any more than I did, as he immediately switched topics.
"Dally… he gave you the cards?"
I felt myself smile, my eyes closing again as I leaned back in my recliner. They were both on the refrigerator...two portraits, one of me, and one of Steve and Soda on lined notebook paper. They were so well done it was almost uncanny, and I'd find myself looking at them just about every day.
"Yeah, he did. They were great, kiddo. Thank you," I told him softly, wanting to hug him again. "When you get home, we'll celebrate all of our birthdays, okay? Hell, we'll have a party."
"Okay." He sniffed a little, and I wondered again where he was. I knew better than to ask though. Dally had most likely told him to keep his mouth shut. He always did listen to Dally. Not to mention, I was scared that if I knew where he was, I'd go after him, and who knew if that Richard Norton could follow me to him. Or maybe even the cops, and they'd send him right back to that asshole. No one was gonna hurt my brother. Never again. I thought of the cigarette burns and the beatings...that time was over. I opened my eyes again, finding myself face to face with Steve who was still watching me from the couch. I yawned, fighting it, hoping he wasn't offended...or think I wanted to get off the phone.
But he heard.
"Shit Dar! I forgot the time difference. It's four am there…"
"Don't swear, Ponyboy," I chastised automatically, the habit kicking back in, and he gave a half-incredulous laugh.
"Sorry," he muttered, sounding like Johnny again. I didn't want my little brother to sound like that...like he ever had any reason at all to fear me. He continued before I could say anything about that. "I just meant...don't you have work?"
I hesitated, but he'd know if I lied. "Yeah, but it's okay, kiddo. It doesn't matter. I'm just so glad you called, Ponyboy. I've missed you so much...I've been trying...with the state."
"I know...Soda told me. Dally too." He paused. "I should let you go, Dar."
I knew he was right, but I didn't want to let him go. "No...no, Ponyboy...wait." I was grasping for straws, but before I could say anything, there was a voice in the background, shouting I couldn't understand. "Pony?" I asked, my hackles raising. No one better be shouting at my brother...not now.
"Yeah...sorry, Dar. I'm on a payphone." He chuckled a little and I relaxed. "Apparently people use these things at six am in...here." He caught himself...he'd been about to tell me. I swallowed hard, thinking about my little brother somewhere, alone, calling me on a payphone. "You should go back to bed. You got work."
"I ain't sleepy anymore, kiddo," I told him truthfully.
"I'll call again," he told me quietly, a smile in his voice. "You'll fall off a roof if you don't get some sleep."
I chuckled with him, even though there was no way I could get back to sleep now. "You're probably right." I didn't want to let him go. "Next time, I'll wake up Sodapop too."
"Next time, I'll try to call earlier….or later. I just...I couldn't sleep…"
"Nightmares?" I asked softly, feeling another pang of regret. I couldn't help him from here. Couldn't sit with him while he tried to go back to sleep.
"Yeah. I just...I've wanted to call you, especially since I got here. I was always afraid to call the house...I was afraid they'd trace the number to me somehow."
"I know, kiddo. That was smart." I hesitated, but I needed to know. "Where's this payphone?"
"Right down the street from where I'm staying."
"With a friend of Dally's?"
I heard a smirk in his voice when he answered. "Yeah...a friend of his."
I didn't bother asking. With Dally, you could never tell what kind of friend's he'd have. I just hoped whoever it was wasn't screwing with my brother...as long as they left him alone, they could be in the Mafia for all I cared. "This friend treat you alright?" I asked.
He hesitated, but he was being truthful when he answered. "Yeah, he's...he's fine. I can see why he's friends with Dally."
I snorted a little. "It's not for long, kiddo. I promise, as soon as I can, I'm gonna get you home."
"I'm alright, Darry. I"m okay here." He was trying to reassure me , and I laughed a little, wiping at my eyes. "I guess I'll let you go."
"Let me talk to him."
I jumped a little...somehow Steve's presence had slipped my mind.
"What?" I asked, eyebrows raising.
"What?" Pony asked me.
Steve held out a hand, expectant.
"No...um….Steve...he wants to talk to you."
"What!" This time Pony sounded incredulous, but I just laughed.
"He misses you." Steve rolled his eyes as I started to hand him the phone. "I love you, kiddo. Call back soon, okay?"
"I will, Darry. I promise."
"Alright, little buddy. Here's Steve." It almost physically hurt to hand over that phone. It was like handing over my little brother again...like letting someone take him away. But this was Steve, and Ponyboy was far away...but not for long. I had to get him back.
Steve took the phone, tucking it against his ear, and grinned a little. "Hey kid." He paused, rolling his eyes and laughing a little. "Yeah, you woke me up." He snorted at Pony's response to that. "You little shit." I put a hand over my mouth, shaking my head and smiling at their constant bickering. But suddenly Steve was serious. "Don't you worry about that Ponyboy, you hear? We're gonna take...don't get mouthy, kid. Shut up and listen. We're gonna take care of this and get you home." A longer pause and Steve closed his eyes for a second, shaking his head. "Kid, you ain't gotta worry about that, savvy? We ain't gonna let anything happen, not to any of us." A shorter pause and Steve was smiling again. "Yeah, yeah, I dig just fine kid. Go back to sleep. Stop wandering the streets at four in the damn morning. I'll see you around." There was a pause. "Yeah, I will." He squeezed the phone, a little, smiling for a second. "You too, kid. Bye." Handing me the phone, he grabbed the blanket and dropped back onto the sofa.
"So...you miss him?" I couldn't resist asking.
"Shut up and go to sleep, Superman. Some of us have work in a few hours." I closed my eyes then, my head dropping into my hands. "He's fine, Darry."
"He ain't fine. He's miles away, God knows where…well, Dally knows where," I muttered.
"He's staying with a friend of Dal's. You know Dally wouldn't send the kid to live with anyone that would hurt him...him and Johnny are about the only people Dal cares about. Besides, we both know Johnny's with him. Those two look after each other. We're gonna take care of this and then we're gonna get the kid home. Both of them."
I nodded, closing my eyes and laying back in the recliner.
Seven am came early, and Soda's voice pulled me from a half sleep. "Dar? What are you doing in here?" he asked, and when I forced my eyes open, he held out an egg sandwich with bacon.
"Thanks," I mumbled, rubbing my eyes and taking the plate. "Pony called."
He froze on his way back to the kitchen, turning to stare at me. "What?" he almost snapped. I couldn't really blame him. When I'd found out that Sodapop had talked to him, all three times, I'd been pretty upset too.
"I'm sorry...I should have woken you up. It was four am and…"
"What did he say? Is he okay?" Soda cut me off, breakfast forgotten.
"Yeah, I think so. Just told me he was staying with a friend of Dally's." Of course, he'd said more than that, but it had been the first conversation we'd had in so long...and it had hurt. But it was so good to hear from him. Glory, I loved my little brother so much. I missed him, but I knew he was alive. That was all that really mattered. When I'd thought he was dead...that he'd been killed and I hadn't been there to protect him...well, I'd never felt pain like that. He was okay. He was...as safe as he could be, considering. "I'll wake you up next time, I swear," I assured Soda. "He said he'd call again."
Soda sat down on the sofa and nodded, staring down at the floor. "Did he say where he was calling from?"
"A payphone close to where he's staying."
"Is Dal's friend treating him okay?"
"He said the guy was fine...said he understood why Dal was friends with him." I told him, making him chuckle.
Ponyboy hadn't asked anything about things here...not really. I was kind of glad. Despite my attempts to talk to our social worker, either our old one or the new one, I had no more information or idea what to do than I'd had before. Mark and Tyler weren't gonna talk. I wasn't going to bother bugging the other girl, Rita. From what Mark and Tyler had said, she didn't have much to do with anyone else in the house. The woman was in on it with him...either she hit the kids too or she just didn't care that her husband did. I didn't know how to fix this. But I was gonna figure it out. I figured I'd need Dally's help though. He hadn't been around too much...he'd been sticking close to Buck's and I hated it there. Then again, if he didn't come out soon, I'd have to go find him.
I'd told Ponyboy not to step foot near that place. Sodapop had told him too, so as far as I knew, he'd really listened. Pony wasn't really into country music or drugs, which was really the only things that went on down there, apart from the gambling and fighting. At least, he better not be into drugs. Country music I could live with, but I doubted it. Still, I was glad he'd gone to Dallas. He'd saved my little brother's life, and I'd punched him in the face. I couldn't really feel too bad about that though. He'd known that Pony was in trouble months ago, and he hadn't told us. Still, he'd looked out for him and I owed him.
I managed to get myself dressed and forced myself to stay awake as I scarfed down the sandwich Soda had made me. I was planning on going to the social worker's office again after work, but I was starting to doubt that it would do me any good.
I reached into my pocket for my wallet then, pulling out the card Officer Charlton had given me. It was a stretch, but we did need a cop. He was the only one I knew. Besides, he'd actually seemed upset about my little brother. Replacing the card in my pocket, I wondered if it would be worth a shot. The social worker wasn't going to help us, and no matter how much I wanted to hunt that man down, killing him wouldn't solve the problem. The fuzz would know it was us anyway, and I couldn't help Pony from jail. No, we needed someone who would believe us...who would make sure it was safe for him to come home.
If I could just get custody, we'd protect him from Richard Norton and all his pals. Tim would help, I knew that for sure, and so would Dally. But what we really needed was for the cops to find out who'd killed Lianne, and that would put Richard away for good, probably his friends too. But how were we supposed to get them to believe us without giving away Ponyboy. Surely they'd need to talk to him.
I put all of it out of my mind. For now, I had to focus on work, no matter how my thoughts kept wandering to my baby brother. He'd been right...I really would fall off a roof if I didn't keep my mind on my work and start getting more sleep. Grabbing my keys, I headed out to the truck, Soda and Steve close behind as Steve told him about his brief conversation with Ponyboy.
It was going to be a long day.
