16. Choices
I'd gone back and forth all week. Officer Charlton might be able to help us. I knew that. It was also a risk I was afraid to take. What if he didn't believe me? What if he thought I was hiding Ponyboy and I was arrested or something...what would happen to Sodapop? Or what if this somehow led them to find Ponyboy and they took him back to that house and then Rick killed him before I could stop him? I couldn't bear that thought. No way that man was getting anywhere near my little brother ever again. I thought again of what he'd done…about cigarette burns and how he'd starved the kids in that house and beatings and the fact that my little brother hadn't been safe since stepping foot in that house.
Pony hadn't called again, and it was killing me. Soda too. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to get him to talk more about that foster home and find out if he was okay. Then again, I knew he wasn't. But I still needed to hear him talking. I wanted to know if he was okay on money and if he'd found a way to earn some, wherever he was. I hated the thought of him getting a job so young…of having to work just so he'd have enough to eat. I hated that he might not get back in time to go to school. Had he finished last semester? I wasn't sure…I hadn't asked. I hadn't asked him much of anything...I hadn't had the chance. At the time, I'd just been desperate to know if he was okay.
I had called our old social worker over and over for the last few months, but never was able to reach her. The only number I had was for our new lady, and I figured it was useless to call her. I didn't understand why we'd gotten a new social worker. The other lady had been nice enough and we'd been careful to follow all of the rules…that is, until Pony got caught up in all this crap. They'd nearly killed him and he'd been the one punished for it! Maybe that was why we'd gotten a new social worker. Or maybe she'd retired…without telling us, which seemed unlikely as she'd told us everything else going on in her life, from the accomplishments of her grandson to the work she was having done to her house.
I hated remembering that night. I hated remembering that this was all my fault. My parents had left me with one real job: take care of my brothers. Sodapop, the reckless, funny one that talked constantly and loved Pony over anyone else and would do anything to protect him, and Ponyboy, the quiet one. That was how I'd always thought of him. Quiet. Always with his head in a book...not a bad fighter, and real smart, but his head was always in the clouds and that was dangerous, so he needed more looking after. Not to mention that he was so small...even for his age, he seemed so small.
And I'd hit him. I was a good head taller than him, and outweighed him by more than fifty pounds, and I'd hit him so hard I'd knocked him against the door. Because he'd smarted off...because my fourteen-year-old little brother had been upset and he'd snapped at me for yelling at our other brother and instead of acting like the adult that I was and his guardian, I'd hit him.
Why hadn't I gone after him? It was the question that went over and over in my mind, from the time I got up to the minute I fell asleep. Sure, he'd been upset and I'd been upset too, but he was my fourteen-year-old little brother and he'd run out of the house at 2 in the morning. I shouldn't have let that happen. I should have followed him…tried to explain myself. Apologize.
Our parents had drilled it into my head so many times. 'Darry, watch your brothers. Darry, look out for your brothers. Especially Ponyboy. Always, 'especially Ponyboy.' He's different. He's quieter. He's always got his head in the clouds and his nose in a book. Which was something I'd gotten on him about. A lot...especially after our parents had died. But I'd worried so much...all the time. Money and our friends and my jobs and my little brothers.
I'd been hard on him. Probably too hard on him. I knew that. Soda had sure told me often enough, but I hadn't meant to be. I just wanted him to pay attention! Glory, it wasn't like I'd ever raised kids before, much less two teenagers who'd just lost their parents, especially when I'd lost mine too. I wondered if Pony was the same. Did he still go to the movies? He'd usually bum money off Soda to go when he lived at home, or I'd give him some, or one of the guys. He'd asked before if he could get a part time job, but I'd said absolutely not. No way my baby brother was working part time at fourteen. Bad enough Sodapop had to work so we could pay the bills. After he'd asked that, I'd stopped bugging him about him asking me for money to do stuff and had just given it to him whenever I could. Better that than him trying to get a job, or getting in trouble when Dally convinced him to sneak in.
Had there been anyone to give him money for the movies at that foster home? I doubted it since they hadn't even fed him. I wanted to throw something just thinking about that. The worst part was, he'd gone to a social worker! I can't imagine how bad it must have been for him to get up the courage to take a bus across town and talk to a stranger about someone hurting him. And then she'd driven him back to that place. I hated that man, and if he ever showed his face around me, I'd kill him myself. That was an idea. Get Ponyboy, have him show me where that house was, draw the guy out, and then I could kill him. Easy. Pony would never tell. I'd make sure there were no witnesses. Maybe I'd kill his wife too. She'd let it happen…hell, for all I knew, she'd hurt my brother too.
The phone rang, and I grabbed it before the second ring. I'd just gotten off work and had dropped into the recliner, glad to have the house to myself for a little while. "Hello?" Even I could hear the desperation in my voice, but I didn't care. If it was Ponyboy…
"Hey, Darry. It's Tim." I tried not to sigh in disappointment, but Tim gave a half chuckle. "Expecting someone else?"
"Kind of, yeah…" I admitted, giving in and sighing. "What's up, man?"
"Just wanted to let you know we've been watching the house your brother was living in. They got cops coming and going all the time, and I'm guessing they're friends of Richard's. There's some old hoods too…tough looking guys, but we can take 'em."
"You know cops got guns, right?" I asked, smiling wryly.
"We can find guns, too, man."
"No way, Tim." I was shaking my head, even though he couldn't see it. "I ain't asking you to kill someone for me."
"You didn't ask. Besides, I ain't doing it for you. I like Ponyboy. He's a good kid. Besides, he palled around with my little brother, kept him out of trouble sometimes...other times he got him into more trouble." He laughed a little. "Remember that time I caught 'em playing chicken with a lit cigarette?"
I laughed ruefully, shaking my head and wishing I wasn't about to start crying. I'd wanted to skin Pony myself, but I hadn't told Mom or Dad...I'd told him I wouldn't as long as he promised not to do it again. "Yeah, I remember. He had a bruise on his forehead we had to lie to our parents about from when you knocked their heads together."
"Yeah? Bet he never did it again."
"I don't think so." I thought about what those guys had told me…about the cigarette burns. He hadn't done it again, but someone had done it to him. "Do me a favor and don't do anything yet. We're talking to Pony…trying to figure something out."
"How's the kid doing?"
I hesitated. "He…I don't really know." Pony hadn't told me much about himself…hadn't told me much of anything, really. I wondered if that was because he had been pressed for time or because he hadn't wanted to talk about anything. We had so much to talk about. The boys home. The foster home. Lianne. He'd been through so much since the last time I'd seen him.
"Johnny Cade's with him, right?" Tim checked.
"Dal won't admit it, but yeah, I think so."
"Then he'll be fine. He's got a buddy to watch his back, and he's far enough away to be safe from that guy. Besides, you know how Dal looks after those two. He wouldn't send him to stay with someone that wouldn't do the same."
"Yeah, you're right." I ran a hand through my hair. I wasn't sure about that, but I had to think he was okay. I had to. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to function.
"I know I am." I snorted. "We'll keep watching that house, don't worry about that."
"You see the other kids that live there?"
"Yeah. They come and go. The two guys are onto us, I think. Caught two of my guys walking around the block and asked them if they were looking for the kid. They ain't gonna talk, though. We saw the girl too. According to my guys, she don't pay no attention to them, so we ain't worried about her talking."
I hadn't thought too much about the girl. Rita, I think the boys said her name was. That man hurt her worse than he'd hurt Pony…my brother had lived in a house with a rapist. And even though Mark and Tyler had been sure that Richard hadn't done anything like that to my brother…how would they know? He'd said that Pony hadn't slept at the house sometimes. Who knew where Pony had been? Where had my brother been sleeping, if not at the house?
I didn't blame him for trying to find somewhere else to sleep, or for avoiding that house, but what if…no. I didn't want to think about that. It was selfish, but I wanted to think that my little brother had escaped that. I didn't know how to deal with something like that…how to get him through that. I would. I'd figure it out, but glory, it would be hard.
The door was thrown open then, the screen slamming shut, and Sodapop froze in his tracks when he saw me on the phone. Two-Bit ran into him from behind, giving him a look and pushing him a little, then froze too when he saw me on the phone. I shook my head, the hopeful, desperate look on Soda's face breaking my heart. "Tim," I mouthed, and my brother deflated, nodding a little and going straight to his room. Two-Bit sighed, watching him go and dropping onto the sofa. "Alright. Thanks, Tim. Let me know if you see anything."
"Will do. See you around, Darrel." And with that, he hung up, leaving me alone with Two-Bit.
"Ran into Soda on my way over. Him and Steve gave me a ride…Steve went home. Said he had stuff to do." Two shrugged. "Tim got any news?"
"Nothing new. They're keeping an eye on that house. Saw the girl and the other two guys. Offered to take care of him for us, but I ain't gonna ask him to do that."
"Don't see why not," Two-Bit mumbled. I shook my head.
"I ain't letting Tim kill someone for me, Two-Bit. No way. What if it got back to me somehow? I'd never see Pony again unless he came to visit me in prison."
My friend sighed. "Yeah, I guess." He glanced at the bedroom door. "Maybe the kid will call again and Soda can talk to him. That might help."
"I want to get him home," I told him, shaking my head. "He belongs here. With us."
"It ain't safe here. Besides, according to the State, he's still supposed to be with his foster family. If he shows up again, they'll send him right back to those people and that man will kill him for real. We gotta prove that guy killed the little girl first, or at least that he's abusing those kids."
"And we can't risk Pony talking to anyone…" I sighed, dropping my head in my hands. "I miss him," I admitted. "Glory, I miss him so much."
"I know." He leaned in. "I miss him, too. We all do. But we'll get him back. He's safe, you know? Dally made sure he was safe. Now Johnny's with him too."
I nodded. I knew Johnny was with him…even if Dally wouldn't admit it. The day Dally had told us everything, our friend had taken off, apologizing like he thought Pony being taken away was his fault. I'd tried to tell him that wasn't true, but he'd been in a hurry to get out of there, and now I knew why. We hadn't seen him since. The next day, Two-Bit and Steve had mentioned he wasn't around anywhere. Worried, Soda and I had walked around the neighborhood, checking the park and the lot, but he wasn't around. He hadn't showed up the next day either, but Dal hadn't been worried. As far as I knew, his parents hadn't said anything. It figured they wouldn't care.
Finally, I'd approached Dal, asking if he had any idea where Johnny was, but he'd just shrugged and told me he was sure our friend was fine. It had come to me then; the only reason Dally wouldn't be worried about Johnny disappearing was if he knew where he was, and Johnny had been awful upset about my brother.
"He's with Pony." It hadn't been a question, but Dally had just shrugged. "Dal?"
"Johnny's fine. Don't worry about him."
I'd given up, then. Dal didn't talk when he didn't want to. Pony had confirmed it, and I felt better now that my little brother wasn't alone. Ponyboy was fifteen…he sounded terrified as it was, and I worried about him being alone with whoever Dal had him living with. I was sure Dally wouldn't send my brother to live with anyone who would hurt him, but wherever Ponyboy was, he was alone after being almost killed by the same man who had abused him for months. I wanted to be with him. I wanted him home with us where I would know for sure that he was safe. But for now, Johnny was with him and I'd have to hope that those two would take care of each other…and that Pony would call again.
It had always seemed to work the other way around...Ponyboy had always seemed to take care of Johnny, speaking up for him when he was too shy and hanging around when he was upset. In rumbles, those two would always team up, since they were both small, and I hoped that Pony was letting Johnny look out for him.
"I think you ought to call that police officer."
Two-Bit's quiet suggestion pulled me out of my thoughts, his elbows on his knees as he leaned in..
"And tell him what? That I know Ponyboy is alive?"
"No. That you think that guy was hurting him. At least then they might start looking into him…maybe get those other kids to talk."
He wasn't wrong. I'd gone back and forth about calling that police officer, especially after I hadn't been able to reach our old social worker, and I'd given up calling the new one. "What if he doesn't believe me?"
"He seemed like a good guy. It can't hurt to try. Besides, you won't be telling him anything about Pony."
Soda came out of the bedroom, nodding briefly to me, then heading into the kitchen where I heard him open the fridge. "Come here for a sec, kiddo!" I called, and he joined us in the living room, running a hand through his hair. "You alright?"
"Yeah. What's going on?" he asked, dropping onto the sofa.
I didn't push it. Instead, I decided to ask his opinion. "Two thinks I ought to call that cop…Officer Charlton, and tell him that Richard's abusing the kids they take in."
Sodapop nodded slowly, glancing over at Two. "If they decide he's a threat to those kids, they might put him in jail, then it might be safer for Pony to come home," he reasoned. It was what we'd discussed before, but actually starting the process…risking that guy and his friends really going after Pony and the rest of us…I didn't know if I was ready to risk it.
"Yeah, that's what I'm hoping. What do you think?" He was Pony's big brother too…he'd be eighteen in less than a year. I figured he ought to have some input, especially since this was my fault.
He looked at me for a long time, then glanced over at Two-Bit who sat quietly, watching us both. "I think you ought to call the cop. At least get him to look into that guy. Even if we can't get Pony back right away…those guys and that girl…they shouldn't have to live with someone like that."
I reached out, dropping a hand on his knee. "We're gonna get him back, Sodapop."
He managed a sad smile, nodding a little like he believed me, even if I worried he didn't. Not really. Leaning back, I grabbed the phone, pulling out the cop's business card from my pocket and dialing the number.
