33. Blackout
The week passed in a blur of work and sleep so quick that it felt like I blinked and it was Sunday. We went to work every night, Pony getting better and better. At first, I'd worried a lot. Every time he was up for too long, or after walking to and from the store, he'd start looking real pale and shaky, and I'd tell him to sit down. Sometimes he'd listen to me. Other times he'd try to push through, sweating and leaning on the shelves at the store. The first day was the worst. He'd gotten tired just walking to the grocery store, and Mr. Willaims had seen it immediately. Still, he'd let Pony work.
I knew Pony was getting sick of being cooped up inside. He was better than Soda at sitting still all the time, and at school, he'd get so wrapped up in writing an essay or reading that I'd have to nudge him sometimes when it was time to leave the library and go to our next class. But he'd been on that couch for days and I could tell it was getting to him, so I didn't say anything when Pony insisted on getting up and going to work with me on Monday afternoon. That morning, we mostly just read our books, him tearing through the rest of the one he'd been reading, then starting on one of the mystery novels I'd grabbed. He had been getting jumpy…his foot tapping and his fingers drumming on his leg. He'd get up and walk to the kitchen, getting a glass of water, then staring out the window until he'd come back and sit on the couch with me again, reading for a few minutes at a time.
"Hey guys."
I jumped a little, scratching my neck and pulling my collar away from my neck. It was awful hot out, but Pony still wore long sleeves…I figured he was hot, but he didn't move to pull them up. I hadn't seen his arms except when he was sick and unconscious, and then I'd tried not to look too close. He sure didn't want me to. Same with his back. I doubted he'd ever show anyone on his own. Maybe Sodapop if he asked. Or Darry. I guess at this point he'd do just about anything for his brothers.
Around us on the sidewalk, a few ladies in dresses fanning themselves with paper funeral fans slipped by, and Pony and I stepped to the side on the steps where Sue leaned against the door. The church was pretty, with a huge steeple and big doors. She had her arms crossed and was smiling at us, Marcus at her side. We'd seen him almost every day that week with a couple of his buddies at the store, but apart from the occasional 'hey' I hadn't really heard him talk. They were both dressed real nice, him in a tie, and her in a long yellow dress with hair ribbons to match. I felt kind of shabby in my jeans and t-shirt, albeit the nicest one I owned. Pony was the same in clean clothes, but we were easily the worst dressed of anyone around.
"Hi Sue. Marcus," Ponyboy greeted, holding out a hand for Marcus. The big guy took it, nodding to both of us.
"Wasn't sure you'd actually come back, Mike," she said, smiling at him. Marcus lifted an eyebrow but didn't comment. "Glad you're feeling better."
She'd said just about the same thing at the store on Monday, but his ears got kind of red, just the same. His blond hair covered a lot of it, but I could still tell. From the way Marcus looked at him, I figured he could too. She'd sought him out a few times at work, and I'd glance over and find them talking real quietly together, Pony usually blushing and Sue grinning at him.
"Yeah…" he stammered a little. "Just…thought we'd come by…"
"We used to go to church back home sometimes," I put in, stepping in and rescuing him. "He told me about this place…figured we'd give it a try. We had to stop going back home when our buddies made a scene."
"Made a scene?" she asked, looking kind of concerned as she glanced around.
"One of 'em dropped a hymnal while the preacher was talking," I explained, and she laughed.
"Marcus did that once. His momma took him into the bathroom and spanked him right there in church."
I bit back the laugh but Pony didn't quite manage it, and Marcus sighed beside her, giving her a look that she ignored.
"Michael. Patrick." Mr. Williams came from inside the church, wide-eyed as he tried to hide his surprise. "Good morning, boys." He held out a hand to shake and we both did.
"Good morning, Mr. Williams," we chorused like a couple of second graders, but he didn't laugh, just tried not to look puzzled. It didn't really work.
"Why don't you guys sit with us?" Sue asked, smiling up at her dad. "We can introduce you to everyone…oh, and Reverend Marshall!" she called, waving her hand at a tall man in a fancy suit walking up the stairs.
The guy shook hands with Mr. Williams then turned to us. "Hello there," the older guy greeted us, looking…well, not upset, but confused.
"Reverend, this is Patrick and his brother, Michael. They're my new stock boys…Michael came a few weeks ago when he first moved here."
"Nice to meet you sir," Pony greeted him, hands shoved in his pockets as he gave an uncomfortable smile, glancing back at me. I nodded to the reverend. I'd never met the one at the church where we'd used to go…he certainly hadn't gone out of his way to introduce himself like this one.
"I believe I do remember you coming in a few weeks ago, Michael. You looked as though you had walked into the wrong church."
The reverend was smiling but my friend went red, slouching even more. "Yeah…I mean…I didn't know…"
The revered chuckled. "Well, you're both welcome. Now if you'll excuse me…" We nodded and I shot Sue a look. She just smiled, showing teeth.
"Next week, we're having dinner after the service. You guys ought to come."
We both glanced at Mr. Williams, but he nodded, seeming to relax a little, even though he was still looking around. Back home, there were only about four Black kids in our school, and there were a few more around the neighborhood. They were never at the bars or anything though, not where Dally or Tim hung out anyway…those were the only ones I'd been to. I wondered if they were worried we were gonna start something…or if we just didn't belong there.
Either way, we followed our boss and Sue to the pew and sat down, Pony on the end by the wall, then me, then Marcus, then Sue and her father. We were quiet during the singing, both of us just listening, and when the reverend started talking, Pony stared at the ground, but I know he was listening. The reverend talked about some New Testament stuff…loving your brother and all that. It was nice…he talked for a long time, and then when he was done, they sang again and it was all over. It seemed shorter than the church we'd been to back home.
I'd kind of missed church, honestly, since Pony wouldn't go anymore after Two-Bit and Steve had made a scene. I knew Two-Bit felt kind of bad about that…Sodapop too. Still, there was nothing they could have done to make it any better, so they just left it alone. I don't know if Darry even knew about it. He hadn't been with us that day, and as far as I knew, never asked if Pony still went.
Pony and I stood as soon as the service was over, waiting for the family we were sitting with to stand and let us pass. Pony stared at his feet, looking uncomfortable, and I took a step toward him, nudging him a little with my arm. At the front, a lady was playing the piano real soft, but we could barely hear it over the dull roar of voices, people greeting each other and shaking hands. I caught snippets of conversation; stuff about dinner plans and people asking about kids and grandparents and school. Then I caught the eye of a guy who gave me an odd, almost angry look, then grabbed at the reverend as he walked back. "Reverend, a word please."
The man pulled the preacher aside just as the Williams family stood up, Mr. Williams ushering his daughter out into the aisle. Sue was turned to a family behind us, talking over the pew to a girl about our age who kept glancing at me but wouldn't make eye contact.
The reverend and the guy were just across the aisle from us as we edged forward, and I couldn't help but hear. A glance back at Pony's face told me he could hear too.
"Good morning, Mr. Anthony." The guy the preacher was talking to was shorter than Mr. Williams by a full head with gray hair that barely covered the top of his head. His clothes were loads better than ours though, and he kept giving me sideways glances. Sue took a few steps forward, but it was a traffic jam in the main aisle with ladies stopping and talking to each other. The girl she was talking to about school was edging forward too, and I figured by the way she stared at Ponyboy for a second that she wanted to ask about us.
"Are you honestly going to allow those…boys to come in here…" He lowered his voice for the last part, and I glanced over at Ponyboy who had obviously heard. The other three had too because Marcus was staring at the ground, not meeting our eyes, and Mr. Williams and Sue were both staring at the preacher and the man. The girl Sue had been talking to turned kind of red, suddenly real interested in something on the other side of the church. After a second, Sue crossed her arms, looking mad, but Mr. Williams put a cautioning hand on her arm.
Pony stared down at the floor, his ears turning real red, and I put an arm around his shoulders. "Come on, man. Let's go."
He nodded, jaw tight, but the pastor raised his voice, sounding angry as we tried to slide past the Williams family. I figured if we couldn't get out that way, Ponyboy would resort to climbing over pews, he looked so uncomfortable. Hell, he looked like he was ready to start tunneling out.
"You don't have to…" Sue started, but I cut her off, my voice as hard as Dally's had ever been.
"Nah, the guy's right. We ought to go."
"You haven't done anything wrong!" she cried, drawing a couple more stares, and Pony looked about ready to drop through the floor. I gave her a look, grabbing Pony's arm and about to push our way through when the pastor's voice got real loud.
"What would you like me to do, Mr. Anthony?" the Reverend asked, his voice booming like he was preaching still. Around us, the conversations had all stopped.
"Don't they have their own church they can go to?"
"You're asking me to kick two young men out of the church because…?" he trailed off, apparently not willing to even suggest it was because we were two white boys in a Black church that had probably seen it's fair share of white boys causing trouble. I didn't blame the guy much, except I hated how miserable Pony looked. I hated that he would feel bad about wanting to go to church.
"You know how the kids around here are, Reverend. They're here to start trouble."
Well…guess I'd been right. That didn't make me feel any better about it, though, especially because Pony had wanted to come and now he probably felt like he'd done something wrong. I felt a dull anger growing at that man…Ponyboy didn't deserve this, not after everything else.
"Hey, you don't want us here, we'll leave!" I called, pulling on Pony and glaring at the man who pointed a finger at us as he murmured something else. Marcus moved back, and Mr. Williams did too, letting us step around them finally. The other members of the church all got out of the way too, but the pastor spoke up again.
"They work for Mr. Williams." The reverend spoke reasonably, but his voice was steel.
"They're probably going to start trouble for him too."
"I will not ask two boys to leave the church because of their color, Mr. Anthony!" It got real quiet then, and everyone in the building was staring at us. "I'm ashamed that you would even ask it of me." He sounded kind of like a greaser, then, mad and scary, but when he turned and came over to us, he was all mild and friendly again.
"Are you boys heading home?" the Reverend asked, talking loud enough that everyone could hear…especially since they were all still really quiet. He was smiling like nothing had happened. The guy who'd been complaining about us was storming down the aisle toward the front door. A few people watched him go and then turned back at us, apparently ready to watch their pastor talk to us. Didn't they have TV or something?
"Yeah...yes sir," Pony corrected himself, ears still red, hands shoved in his pockets. He was slouched and kind of fierce looking, but I knew that was how he looked when he was scared. "We'd better get going."
The Reverend nodded. "Alright. I hope to see you next week. Michael." He held out a hand that Pony shook after a second of hesitation, and then the reverend did the same for me. I shook his hand, trying to grin. "You boys be careful."
We nodded and he turned to another family. I could feel the people in the church watching us leave and felt myself breathe again as we stepped outside into the bright sunlight.
"Who's caused them trouble?" I wondered as we walked down the street toward the apartment.
"Sue told me that sometimes guys went to that church and set off fireworks and stuff. And the fuzz don't do nothing about it."
"'Cause it's a Black church?" I asked.
He nodded. "Yeah, I think so."
I grimaced as I opened the door to the apartment, coming up short when I found three guys in the living room. James and Terry were there, along with a guy I didn't know. They were all sitting on the floor, a deck of cards spread out between them, each of them with a few cards in their hands. James lifted an eyebrow at us, then jerked his head at us, gesturing for us to come in.
"Hey, kids. This is Ed." James pointed at the third guy.
"You two go to church or something?" the guy joked.
I just lifted an eyebrow and Pony nodded.
Ed snorted. "Weird kids…"
"Ponyboy, you met Ed when he kicked you out of the apartment," James reminded him. "Ed, this is Johnny."
"Oh right…sorry about that," Ed muttered, playing a card. "You two wanna play? You know how to play poker?"
"Yeah, we know how," I told them, and they put all their cards back in the desk, Terry shuffling. I'd met him several times while Ponyboy was sick, and he seemed decent. He'd brought soup for Pony to eat. Ed, on the other hand, I'd never seen before, but apparently, Ponyboy had. They'd moved over to give us room to sit down, and Pony sat beside Terry while I sat beside James. Terry dealt us in and we spent the next few hours playing poker, losing money we didn't have. No one seemed to be keeping track though, so it was fine.
Ponyboy called his brothers the next morning, pretty early, I guess catching them before they went to work. I slept in, just barely hearing his soft voice as he talked to someone on the phone. I thought about asking to talk to them…it had been good to hear from the guys. I missed our friends, but Pony hadn't seen his family in ages…he'd been alone for so long. Instead, I stayed where I was, curled up on the floor in a nest of blankets. I missed having a bed or a couch to sleep on, but I wasn't about to take Pony's spot. He'd offered more than once, now that he was feeling better, but I still wasn't about to take him up on it. He barely slept as it was…I heard him tossing and turning, and some nights he'd cry in his sleep, muttering and making noise until he'd wake up with a gasp, whimpering in his pillow.
I never said anything about it. He hadn't reacted well when I'd said something about his arms, and I knew he couldn't stand to talk about it. I guess I knew why…he was ashamed. Ashamed and scared of people finding out. I was always the same when people had asked about my bruises…or when they'd notice how I'd about jump at my own shadow. Pony was good about never saying anything to me about it. The guys were pretty good too, although sometimes Two-Bit would scare me and then feel bad about it.
Things were just about back to normal at the store. Pony did all of the bottom shelves and I did anything that required a ladder. That way, we could pretty much split everything up. Ponyboy had offered to climb up on the ladder, but I was worried about him falling off, so I told him he could do the mopping. He'd just grinned, agreeing pretty fast. I think he was a little worried too.
Before we knew it, the weekend was over and it was Monday evening, the store about to close. Marcus hadn't shown up to walk Sue home…most nights he did, but not always. Mr. Williams was in the back doing paperwork or something. There were only about three people left in the store, two older women and a girl that Sue was chatting with at the register. She was the same girl Sue had been talking to at church, and every once in a while I'd feel her eyes on us. Pony glanced at me, confused, a few times, and I just shrugged.
I looked around the store from where I stood on the ladder, glad there weren't many people left. Usually, the store cleared out early and Sue would go home right as the store closed, then Mr. Williams a little while later, leaving Pony and me to close up. Once, when Ponyboy had been sick, an old lady hadn't wanted to leave, and Mr. Williams had stayed open a few minutes late to let her check out. He'd been irritated but told me that as long as people were buying things, he could stay in business. I guess he was right, but I think he'd rather people buy things when he was actually open. It was just him and Sue at his house, I think, and he didn't like her walking home alone at night.
He reminded me of Mr. Curtis a lot…and Darry too. Sure, Pony had always tagged along with Sodapop and Darry for as long as I could remember, but part of it was their parents, too. I'd heard Mr. and Mrs. Curtis telling Darry to keep an eye on Pony since we'd first met, and once or twice, Mr. Curtis had asked Two-Bit too, since he was the oldest. Two had almost always been happy to look out for him, hanging around and keeping an eye out. When Soda or Darry couldn't give Pony a ride home from school, Two-Bit or Dally would walk with him or give him a lift home, me usually tagging along.
The door to the shop slammed against the wall, jerking me out of my thoughts. In the doorway was a white guy with hair so red it was almost orange, followed by two greasy looking hoods. Other than me and Pony, I'd never seen another white person in the store. I don't know if it was the part of town, or if people just knew somehow, but it was like there was a sign on the door or something.
Either way, these didn't look like the kinds of guys who did their grocery shopping around here…or at all. I glanced down at Pony who was looking up at me, leaning against the shelf he was restocking, his face drawn and worried. The guys gave us a once over, me on a ladder and Pony crouching down, putting cans on the bottom shelf. Sue stopped her conversation with her friend, and both girls turned to stare at the guy, exchanging glances and then standing real tall and facing the guys like they were ready to rumble or something.
Ponyboy stood upright real slow, putting the can back on the shelf and looking pretty tough as he shoved his hands in his pockets. I climbed down from the ladder, jumping when I reached the next to last rung and landing beside him. Pony was taller than me by quite a bit now…I figured he was about Soda's height, but he was slouching, so I propped my elbow on his shoulder. The red-head grinned at me and Pony, apparently unimpressed, then the three hoods ambled toward the shelves. One of them broke off from the group, heading over toward Sue at the front. The red-head and his friend nodded at us like we were friends or something, then passed us by, examining the shelves we'd just restocked. Pony had his eye on Sue who was standing real straight at the counter.
"Can I help you?" she asked, her voice firm and clear. I glanced back at the other two and caught the second hood putting a candy bar in his pocket.
"Hey man, you gotta pay for that," I told him, hoping I sounded like Dallas...tough like I was ready to fight over it. Back home, Dally and Two-Bit had stolen things all the time…heck, I had too, once or twice. But I worked here, and Mr. Williams didn't deserve to have things stolen from his store. Beside me, Pony glanced back, glaring at the two, but keeping his focus on Sue. The two older ladies who had been shopping hurried toward the exit, both of them leaving their shopping baskets on the shelves and not even sparing a look at the hoods in the store.
The guy with the candy bar in his pocket looked me up and down, snorting. "Yeah? Who's gonna make me?"
I stepped forward, about to inform him that I was, when Pony stiffened beside me.
"Now…where are you running off to, sweetheart?" The hood at the counter asked Sue, and I realized he'd grabbed her arm. "We just got here."
Pony strolled right up to him and put a hand on his shoulder like it was Steve or Two-Bit instead of some New York hood who'd probably stab him as soon as look at him. "Let her go," he told the guy, his voice so mean and cold I wondered if he was imitating Dally too.
The guy turned to face my friend, towering over him and grinning. "What did you say?" he asked, his tone real nice and casual, but Pony still had a grip on his arm. At least the guy had let go of Sue. Suddenly the guys behind me were heading up to the front of the store to join in on the action. I blocked them, figuring this was going to hurt, but I couldn't let them all gang up on Pony either.
"Go on, Sue," Pony ordered, jerking his head at the storeroom door and letting go of the guy who he'd had a hold of. "Go."
She grabbed her friend's arm, both of them racing to the back, and the guy reached into his pocket. I started to yell a warning, but someone was coming at me and I turned, ducking the fist that came flying at my face. I brought up my own fists, striking the red-head in the nose as hard as I could, then stepping up and kneeing the other one. The red-head got me on the cheek then, knocking me back, and the other one shoved me back against the shelves.
I was on the ground before I knew it, my hands up as I tried to protect my face. They were grabbing at my hands but I kept kicking and punching. They only got a few good hits in, and I managed to get back on my feet somehow, trying to get a look at Pony, but they were blocking him. The redhead's friend tackled me then, and I just barely managed to keep my head from cracking against the floor, doing my best to shove him off of me. The redhead gave me a kick in the side that felt like a jolt had gone through me, but I didn't think anything was broken. Then suddenly, the guy sitting on me was gone.
I opened my eyes, my stomach flying up to my throat. In the doorway to the back room, Mr. Williams was standing still, his jaw tight and a baseball bat limp in his hand, Sue and her friend peeking out from behind him. By the front counter, one hood was laying face down, mouth open, and what looked like a tooth was sitting beside him in a little red puddle. Beside him was a busted bottle of coca-cola and glass and a puddle of soda was on the ground around him.
Another hood was curled up beside me, cupping himself and gasping as he rocked back and forth, blood spattered all over his face. And a few feet away, Ponyboy was sitting on the redhead's chest, his fist pulling back and slamming into the guy's face over and over.
It only took a second for me to realize what was happening and I jumped up, grabbing Ponyboy's fist before he could hit the guy again. He was already missing a tooth from what I could tell, his mouth open, eyes closed. Beside them on the floor was a can of green beans that I figured Pony had used to hit him on the head. Pony didn't fight me when I caught his fist, just spun around, wide-eyed, then his whole body seemed to slump as he stared back down at the hood. There were four drops of blood on his cheek, bright red against his pale face.
"Come on, man…get up. Get off him," I urged, pulling him up and away from the guy. His hands were covered in blood, the knuckles split open. He would have a black eye, and I figured I would too. His mouth was dripping blood, and he was panting like he'd just run a race. Scariest of all, though, were his eyes. Wide open and unseeing, he stared at me, following dully when I led him away. Mr. Williams stared between us and the guys on the floor, then came into the store fully, letting the door shut behind him.
"They were gonna hurt Sue…he thought they were gonna hurt her. And two of 'em had me. They were trying to steal stuff..." I tried to explain, tugging my friend along. Mr. Williams nodded real slow, his eyes still on Ponyboy. "I'm sorry. We'll clean it up. Get them out of here…we'll take care of it."
"Michael?" Mr. Williams asked, close enough to reach out now, but Pony was just staring at the floor. I shook him, and when he looked up at me, his eyes were wet, and his hands started shaking as he glanced down at them.
"They were gonna hurt her…like they did Li. I couldn't…"
I gripped his shoulders then, hoping he wouldn't start spilling his guts in front of Mr. Williams.
"Give us a minute," I practically begged, pulling Pony away and back to the very back of the store where we leaned against the wall. He followed me dumbly, then slid down until he was sitting. After a second, I joined him on the floor. "Pony?" I murmured. I'd never seen my friend like that…I never wanted to again. He would have killed that hood, I was sure of it.
"They were gonna hurt her. I couldn't let them hurt her. Or you…they were hurting you and…"
"It's fine. Pony, it's fine. They're still alive. You didn't kill 'em or nothing," I tried to make my voice light, but he didn't smile. Glancing up when I heard footsteps, I found Mr. Williams standing at the end of the aisle and staring at my friend.
"They were gonna hurt her…like they hurt Lianne," he repeated. I swore under my breath, but I couldn't make him stop. "They hurt her…they had her behind the bar and they were going to hurt Sue…"
I threw my arms around him then, tight like Soda would. Of course he wasn't over it. He'd watched them. He was only fifteen and he'd watched a group of men kill a girl. And that probably wasn't all he'd seen. Then they'd nearly killed him. That wasn't something you just got over. He'd had that look in his eyes like I sometimes saw from the guys who came back from the war…vacant and scared and not all there.
"They were gonna hurt you and…and…" he trailed off, shaking in my arms, and I squeezed him hard.
Mr. Williams came over slowly, tentative, and sat on the floor beside us, kneeling down. "Patrick…I think you need to tell me what just happened." He gestured toward my friend who was still shaking against my shoulder…I guess those guys had brought all those memories back. He'd been doing pretty good so far, so I couldn't blame him. I made up a story fast, keeping some of it true and my voice low.
"There was a girl that lived with the foster family he got put with," I told our boss, hoping the news of what had happened back in Tulsa hadn't made it up to New York. "He and that girl were walking to school and they got attacked by a bunch of men…they killed the girl. He just barely got away...but he saw the whole thing." Mr. Williams stared at Ponyboy's back for a long time, looking horrified and a little scared. "He didn't want to let them hurt Sue. He wouldn't have killed them or nothing."
That wasn't true. He absolutely would have killed them. I'd seen that look in Dally's eyes before when he was beating on a soc before a cop or Darry pulled him off. I could tell Mr. Williams didn't quite believe me, but he nodded.
"Get him home. You two can come in at four tomorrow and make up the hours if he's feeling alright. We'll take care of things here. You two ought not be around when the cops come…I'll just tell them that two neighborhood boys did this and took off." He glanced back, and I followed his gaze and found Sue looking real pale, staring at Ponyboy as he cried into my shoulder. "Sue, get the mop from the back. Tell Tessa to stay until we're done here…I'll call her parents." He turned back to us. "Go on, get home. Both of you."
I nodded, jumping to my feet and grabbing Pony and pulling him up.
"I didn't mean to…" Pony muttered.
"Yeah I know," I assured him, watching Sue throw one more glance over her shoulder then hurry to the back. "Let's get home."
"What about work?" he asked, bewildered. Apparently, he hadn't heard any of our conversation, which worried me, but we needed to get back to the apartment soon before the fuzz showed up.
"We're done with work. It's time to go," I told him.
"I didn't mean to…"
"You didn't kill them, Pony, just beat the crap out of 'em," I assured him quietly. "You ain't in any trouble. We just better get home before the cops get here."
He nodded, apparently accepting that even though it was still light out, and followed me silently back to James's place.
