42. Home
Ponyboy was half asleep as I led him back to the house, Darry on his other side, every one of us watching him like a bunch of hawks. My little brother had dark circles under his eyes that were practically purple, and his eyes wouldn't hardly stay open. There were more differences too…his face looked almost hollow, his cheeks sharp and hungry looking, that scar making me worry at how close it was to his eye. He was so thin…his jeans hung off of him, and his shirt was way too big…the sleeves went all the way to his knuckles but I didn't dare pull them up. He wouldn't want me to. Not yet. We'd talk about that later…his back too. But not yet. Now, he needed rest. I caught Darry giving him worried looks too, but he just led the way back to our house.
Rita had pulled Two-Bit aside as we'd been on our way out of the park, whispering something I couldn't hear, and he'd nodded, talking to her real quiet before waving as she'd broken away from the rest of us.
"Where's she going?" Steve had wondered, and I'd glanced back from where I'd had my arm around Pony. My little brother had been nodding off, but he'd woken up for that, turning to Two-Bit who had grinned easily at us.
"She's staying at my place tonight. My mom's in bed, but Susie should be up. They ought to be fine but they both have the house number if they need it."
When we finally got inside, Darry threw an arm around Pony, squeezing him carefully. "Why don't you go ahead and go to bed, kiddo?" he asked, and Pony started to shake his head and argue, but he yawned before he could get the words out and I chuckled.
"Go ahead, Pone. We can all catch up in the morning." I hated saying it…I wanted Pony to tell me everything now. But he was too tired to even stand upon his own, and he looked awful to tell the truth.
"Yeah, alright." Ponyboy yawned again, letting Darry throw an arm around him and lead him to the bedroom we shared. He was in there for a few minutes, and we all stood around like we were stuck or something. It was awful to have Pony out of my sight, which was ridiculous…he was just in the other room. But still…I wanted to go in there with him. Put my arms around him and hold him until I could believe he was really home.
When Darry came back out of the room, he shut the door behind him real soft. "He been eating at all, Johnny?" he asked, sounding almost defeated, and I flinched. So he'd noticed too.
"About as much as he's been sleeping," Johnny admitted, and Two-Bit patted his shoulder.
"He'll be alright now," our friend reassured us all. But he was looking at the bedroom door with serious, worried eyes, his jaw tight.
"It ain't even over yet," Darry reminded all of us softly, running his hands through his hair. "I still don't have custody."
"You don't think they'll take him away again, do you?" Johnny asked, looking scared, and my stomach jumped up into my throat. No. No way in hell. They weren't taking him! Not again!
"The cop said he was gonna do everything he could to make sure that didn't happen but…it's possible," Darry admitted, sitting down hard in his recliner. We all followed suit, me fighting the urge to go to Ponyboy's side. He needed rest awful bad. I'd join him in a minute.
"You saw him Dar," I murmured, hoping Ponyboy was sound enough asleep that he wouldn't hear. "I don't know if he'll be able to cope if they take him again. Hell, he's barely coping now." I left the other part, that I wouldn't be able to cope either, unsaid.
My brother nodded while Steve patted me on the back.
"Hey, the kid's gonna be just fine. They arrested that asshole and they're gonna arrest the social worker too," my buddy told me.
"But if the State comes back and says Darry still ain't his guardian…"
"Officer Charlton's gonna get me a meeting with the State…he'll be there too," Darry reminded me, obviously putting a lot of work into looking hopeful. "There should be a hearing soon…"
"And in the meantime?"
He shrugged. "Officer Charlton knows that Ponyboy's with us. If they were going to take him away…wouldn't they have already done it?" He sighed when I didn't answer. "I'm gonna call in the morning. It's too late right now."
"Do you think he needs a doctor or something?" I asked then, my voice small. "I mean…after everything that happened and…you know…with how thin he is?"
Darry dropped his head into his hands, looking overwhelmed for a minute, but it was Dally who answered. "The kid's okay. Just needs to eat more. Worry about making sure he gets to stay for now," he told Darry.
My brother grinned at him a little, nodding and looking grateful. "Yeah…sounds good." It was almost one in the morning and his eyes were drooping. "I think I'm gonna go to bed, guys. You staying?" he asked, looking around at our friends.
"I'm gonna head home tonight," Steve told us. "Soda, I'll pick you up for work tomorrow?" he confirmed, and I nodded. I didn't want to go to work, but I doubted my boss was gonna give me a day off.
"Same here." Dally stood too, glancing down at Johnny who jumped to his feet.
"Yeah. I'd better get home too."
"You sure, Johnny?" I asked, realizing we hadn't thanked him. Darry was so tired he looked like he was about to fall down, and my mind was on Ponyboy, but still, I wanted to make sure he'd be okay.
"Yeah. I figure I might as well. I might come by tomorrow if that's okay, though."
Darry nodded, standing and reaching out to Johnny, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Sure it's alright, kiddo." He ruffled his hair. "I can't thank you enough, Johnnycakes," he told our friend quietly, and Johnny grinned, looking different than before. Less scared.
"Wasn't nothing. It was kind of fun, actually."
Darry snorted, pulling him in a one-sided hug. "Be careful going home, alright? And come back if you need to."
"Sure, Darry."
Dally threw an arm around Johnny, leading him out the door, and it was only us and Two-Bit.
"Mind if I stay? Rita might be sleeping in my bed."
"Hope you changed the sheets recently," I quipped, and Darry laughed on his way to his room.
Two-Bit rolled his eyes but grinned. "She'll be fine. Susie changed all the beds yesterday, thank you very much." I laughed, pulling myself to my feet, but Two-Bit stopped me, speaking quietly enough that even Darry wouldn't hear. "He looks pretty rough, huh?"
I swallowed hard, nodding, all humor forgotten. "Yeah…"
"Glory…it ain't right. He'd just a kid." Two-Bit sighed, forcing a smile. "He'll be okay, though. You know? He's one of the toughest kids I know."
I thought back to the scene in the park…how I hadn't even recognized the blond kid holding a gun to Richard's forehead. "Where the hell did he get a gun, that's what I wanna know."
Two shrugged. "I don't know…Dal maybe? I thought he was gonna do it, though."
For a moment, I had too, and that thought made my blood run cold. If Dally hadn't stopped him…would he have?
He caught my look and lay back on the couch, trying to smile. "Go to bed, man. He's gonna be fine."
I nodded, waving and calling out a goodnight, then slipped into the bedroom I'd had to myself for almost a year now. Glory I was glad to share it again.
Pony was curled up on his side on the very edge of the bed, his arms crossed over his chest, knees almost touching his elbows. The blanket was haphazardly thrown over him, like he'd been too tired to even try and get it over him, and I uncovered him, straightening it out and then covering him up properly. He was tense, even in sleep, and I crawled into bed next to him, laying on my pillow and staring at his back in the dark. His hair was so light it almost seemed to glow in the dark. I fought the urge to reach out and touch him…I didn't want to startle him or wake him up. He was as tall as me now, but he was still so small. Glory…how had he gotten so small?
Closing my eyes, I tried to fall asleep on my own side of the bed, and I was almost there when he started shaking, a soft noise waking me up. Sitting up on my elbow, I stared at him, trying to figure out what was going on. He wasn't screaming…those nightmares always woke the whole house. Instead, he was whimpering into his pillow, tears dripping down his face as he curled up even tighter.
"Hey…Pony?" I asked, putting a hand on his shoulder slowly so he wouldn't get scared. "Ponyboy?"
He kept crying, hiding his face in his pillow, but he was still asleep. I clenched my jaw…he was scared to make noise. I remembered what Mark and Tyler had told us…how the man had taken it out on Pony when he'd woken him up at night. Squeezing his shoulder, I scooted closer, my forehead against his head. "Honey, wake up," I urged, shaking him. "Come on, Pony. It's alright. Wake up."
He muttered beside me and I shook him until his whole body went stiff and he jerked away, sitting up, eyes wide as he stared at the wall right in front of him. He was gasping, looking around like he didn't know where he was, and I sat up too even though I was so tired I didn't know if I could keep my eyes open much longer.
"Ponyboy? Hey…what's wrong?"
"Soda?" he asked, his voice so young and scared that I was almost immediately wide awake.
"Yeah, honey. It's me. You're home," I assured him, putting an arm around his shoulders. "They arrested Richard and a bunch of his buddies…you're safe, okay?"
He was still crying, but he nodded, and I pulled him back down on the bed, both of us laying down on the pillows. He curled up against me, his head under my chin, and I rubbed his back.
"It's okay," I assured him. "I'm right here, Pony. Darry's in his room. Two-Bit's on the couch. Ain't nothing gonna happen to you here."
He nodded against my chest, and after a few minutes, he was asleep again. I followed suit after another few minutes, sure he was gonna sleep better now. And he did.
I woke up to an empty bed when my alarm went off and my heart stopped. Had I dreamed it? Was he still gone? Glory it hurt so bad for a second my eyes watered. Then I made myself stop. It hadn't been a dream. The bed beside me was still warm.
I jumped up, throwing the covers back, and headed into the kitchen. It was empty. The living room too, except for Two-Bit who was still asleep. Then I looked at the porch and my breath escaped in a sigh of relief. He was leaning against the porch railing, his back to me, the sun rising and shining on his blond hair. My chest got real tight and I wiped at my eyes, heading out to the porch. I tried to be quiet when I opened the door but he jumped a little, and when he first whipped around, he was scared. I hated it. In that moment, I could have found Richard and that gun and finished him.
"Hey, kiddo." I joined him, leaning my elbows on the porch rail, our shoulders touching, and he relaxed a little. "Couldn't sleep?"
"Just woke up a few minutes ago. Longest I've slept in a while."
"Want a cigarette? I think Two-Bit has a pack in his pocket. Bet I could lift you one."
He shook his head, eyes going dull. His eyes went down to his arms, which were resting on the porch rail, the long sleeves almost covering his hands.
"I can't," he admitted softly, jaw getting real tight, and I felt my stomach flip over.
"Yeah?" I asked, reaching out and touching his shoulder.
He just shook his head. "Not anymore," he snorted, not looking amused at all. "One thing about Richard…his methods were effective." He swallowed hard, jaw tight, and I reached out, pulling him into my arms. He was stiff for a second before he relaxed, sniffing softly and resting his head on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry," I whispered. "Glory…I'm sorry."
He just shook his head, pulling away and looking tired again. "Don't matter…it was a bad habit anyway." He didn't want to talk about it anymore, and I ruffled his hair. I knew he wouldn't want to answer my next question, but I had to ask it.
"Can I see?"
He just looked at me, startled, and I kept my hand on his shoulder. I was certain he would say no. Heck, maybe I wanted him to say no. He nodded, though, slowly, then reached down with shaking hands and grasped the edge of his sleeve.
"You don't have to if you don't wanna," I tried to assure him, not sure if I was ready to see. If I could handle it.
He didn't acknowledge me, just pulled back one sleeve, then the other, revealing long haphazard rows of round scars that ran from his wrist to his elbow. None of them were fresh…he'd been away from Richard for too long, and I figured they didn't hurt, but I was still extra careful when I reached out and ran a finger lightly over one of them, flinching as I did so. There were so many…more than I could count at a glance.
The screen door opened then, but instead of jerking away, Pony just stood still, shaky like some kind of wild animal, but he let us get close. It showed how much he trusted us, I guess, and I was grateful, but it still hurt to see him so scared. Darry approached slowly, and I glanced up at Ponyboy's face, feeling my heart drop. His eyes were dull again, far away and unfocused. He didn't even glance at our brother when Darry took one of his arms, his thumb rubbing carefully back and forth around a scar on his wrist. Darry whispered a curse, then looked up at Pony, cupping the back of his neck. "Kiddo? Hey, Pony?" He spoke urgently, looking kind of scared, dropping his arm. "Ponyboy!"
Our brother seemed to jerk awake then, meeting our eyes with his wide, surprised ones. "Huh?"
"You okay?" Darry asked, and I dropped my hand from his arms too.
"Yeah." Pony yanked the sleeves back down and Darry let him, forcing a neutral look onto his face.
"I'm gonna make breakfast, alright?" he asked, putting his hand on Pony's shoulder, squeezing.
"I can do it." Pony was trying; I'd give him that. "I was up first."
"Nah, kiddo. I've got it. Are eggs okay?"
Our brother gave in, nodding. "Sure, Dar."
"Alright." He gave me a look, then headed back inside, leaving me and Pony on the porch.
"You gotta work today?" Ponyboy asked, and I nodded.
"Yeah, kiddo. Until four. Darry's off though." I remembered the cop and the State, debated about telling him, then decided it would be a bad idea not to. "He's gonna try and get a meeting with the State…I think he might be meeting with that cop too." He was silent, staring straight ahead. "It's gonna be fine, Pone."
"What if they don't let me stay?" he asked, his voice too small.
I put an arm around his shoulders, squeezing hard, and he leaned against me. I wanted to tell him that they weren't gonna take him away. I wanted to tell him that I wouldn't let them. But I didn't know that. I couldn't promise him that. And what if they put him with someone bad again? I shook my head, squeezing again. "Darry is going to do everything he can to make sure that doesn't happen. So am I. If you wanna run away again, though, you're taking me with you." He snorted but I shook my head, shaking him a little. "I mean it, kiddo. I can't do this again." I leaned my cheek on his blond hair. "Whatever happens, you can't give up, okay Pony?" He hummed in agreement, but he didn't sound convinced. "You look like you're starving to death, honey. How are you feeling?"
He started to lie but I gave him a look. Sighing, he shrugged. "Tired. Just…real tired." He didn't say anything else, so I just sat down on the bench, pulling him down to join me. Leaning his head on my shoulder, we sat together, watching the sun come up, my hand rubbing up and down his arm. "I missed you so much, Soda," he murmured.
"Glory, I missed you too." I put both my arms around him again, wondering how I was gonna focus on work, knowing he was finally back home. "Where were you?" I asked suddenly, realizing I still didn't know. There was so much I wanted to talk with him about. We had a lot of catching up to do. But getting the full story out of him was going to be awful hard, I could already tell.
"With a buddy of Dally's in New York."
I made myself smile, sitting up and grinning at him. "New York, huh…how was that?"
"Uh…loud. Busy."
"Yeah? Anybody bug ya?"
"A group of guys jumped us a couple of times." He shrugged, ignoring my incredulous look. He hadn't mentioned that on the phone. "James and some other guys took care of it, though."
"They hurt you?" I demanded. He shrugged again. "C'mon, kiddo. Talk to me."
"They got Johnny worse than me," he told me, although I wasn't sure if I believed him. I'd have to ask Johnny. "It wasn't all bad," he admitted, grinning just a little. "James was usually pretty nice, and work wasn't bad. Our boss, Mr. Williams, was real nice. Paid us even when we had to take time off. And his daughter was nice too."
"His daughter, huh?" I asked, grinning for real and laughing when his ears got red, his head ducking down. "How nice?"
"Quit," he muttered, nudging me.
"C'mon! I wanna hear about her! What was her name?"
"Sue."
"Yeah? Was she pretty?"
"Yeah. She was real pretty." He tried to meet my eyes and failed, and I didn't know if it was because he was embarrassed or…something else. I ignored that, punching his shoulder. He laughed, rubbing the spot where I'd hit him.
"Maybe we can all take a road trip…go see her. Huh?"
He laughed again, less amused now.
"We could never afford it. Bus tickets are expensive."
"We'll save up," I waved him off. "Besides, I wanna meet this James guy…thank him for letting you and Johnny crash with him."
"That'd be fun," he gave in with a small smile, obviously indulging me. We both knew it was a pretty far-fetched dream, but it was a fun one at least.
Darry called us in for breakfast and I jumped up, holding out a hand and pulling my little brother up. I was already dreading work…he'd be with Darry, and Darry would look after him, but I wanted to be at home with him. I wanted him to talk to me about what he'd been through…I wanted him to feel safe again.
He followed me into the kitchen, Two-Bit at the table and waiting for his breakfast. Pony grinned at him, looking exhausted as he dropped into a chair. I sat beside him, patting him on the back as Darry put a plate of eggs in front of him.
"How you feeling, kiddo?" Two asked as Darry sat down with his own plate.
"I'm alright," Pony told him, picking up his fork and picking at his food.
"You sure?" he asked, quiet, and Pony nodded.
"Yeah."
"I'm gonna call Officer Charlton today," Darry told us in between bites, his eyes on Ponyboy who still hadn't taken a bite despite all his playing with his eggs. Pony must have seen me watching him because he finally brought the fork to his mouth, chewing slowly and swallowing. He took a drink of the milk then, watching Darry. "He might come over...you think you could talk to him?"
Ponyboy hesitated, his eyes seeking mine like was was looking for something, then he nodded.
"Sure," he muttered.
"You don't have to," Darry assured him. "If you ain't up to it…that's fine. We can always put it off for a few days."
"Is he gonna make me leave?" Ponyboy asked, staring at his plate listlessly.
Darry just looked at him for a minute, his eyes darting to mine, worried. "I don't know, honey," he admitted, reaching out and putting a hand on our brother's arm. "But Officer Charlton promised to help us. He's gonna try to make sure no one takes you. Or…if you gotta go, it won't be for long."
Pony visibly flinched at that, and Two-Bit brought a hand up and ruffled Ponyboy's hair.
"It's gonna be fine, Pony," he assured him. "That cop's gonna get all this straightened out. Besides, they arrested that guy and his wife…the social worker too. You'll get a new one and everything…that guy ain't gonna get anywhere near you again."
Pony nodded, forcing a grin and shaking Two-Bit's hand off. He took a few bites of his eggs, all of us eating in silence until Steve started honking his horn outside. I sighed, dropping my plate in the sink and stopped by Pony's chair, ruffling his hair and throwing an arm around him.
"I'll be home later, kiddo," I told him quietly, hugging him tight and praying that he'd still be here when I got home…that no one would take him away from us. "Love you," I murmured, then headed out to ride with Steve to work.
"How's the kid?" he asked as I slammed the door.
"He's gonna be okay," I told him, trying to grin, already counting the minutes until I could get back to him.
