A/N: And here I was thinking I wouldn't be able to update today... mwehehe :3 Anyway, another longer one here

In stark contrast to how I fell asleep, I was cold when I awoke. Groggy and disoriented, sweating and breathless from a dream I couldn't remember, which may have been for the best based on my rapid heart rate. I grabbed at my stomach for Itachi's hand to pull him closer but all I felt was the fabric of my own shirt. I realized then that I didn't feel him against my back either.

Squinting my eyes open, it took several moments for them to adjust and recognize that I was no longer in Itachi's bed, but rather on the couch I had slept on every other night. I had either dreamt up the whole thing, walked out there in my sleep or Itachi had moved me. My stomach knotted as I pined over the most likely scenario.

My eyes ached dully, likely from the lack of sleep, and I replayed the previous night's events over and over in my head. Everything was perfect, there was no way Itachi would have just dumped me on the couch without warning in the middle of the night... right?

Itachi was a private person, maybe he realized that if I wasn't out there in the morning, people would go looking for me. Yes, maybe he was trying to spare me from the embarrassment of having to explain why they'd find me curled up in his clothes, in his bed, in his arms. That was it, that was definitely it.

You need to talk to him, like now.

But that would be needy and clingy and probably twelve other undesirable adjectives I wasn't thinking of, and I was far too in my head about how I was supposed to act around him now that we had slept together. Things were supposed to be different, right?...right?

Okay, fine, but at LEAST chew your nails.

That I could do. The only thing keeping me sane throughout the morning was the fact that I had another memory seal-breaking session with Itachi and Kisame coming up. I had been dreading it with how taxing it was on my body, but now it was my chance to see Itachi and hopefully quell the pit that comprised the entirety of my abdomen. I let my hand rest atop it and recalled once more, the events of last night.

The hours between when I woke up and when we were scheduled to meet crawled by. I hoped Itachi would make an appearance before then, but as time went by, the likelihood of that seemed to diminish. I passed on breakfast, not trusting my ability to keep food down with how anxious I had become.

"Hey kiddo, you ready?" Kisame asked, sauntering into the common room. I leapt off the couch before he even finished the question. "Wow, aren't you enthusiastic this morning," he commented with some amusement.

"Yeah, I um... I guess I'm just excited to get it over with, heh… heh," I lied, scratching my head and smiling. I followed him into a mostly empty chamber down a maze of halls.

Um… what.

My heart sank. Itachi wasn't there. Kakuzu was.

"Kakuzu's filling in for Itachi," Kisame noted casually.

"Is... Itachi okay?" I asked hesitantly, not sure how much I was letting on to my disappointment or that fact that anything had happened between us.

"Itachi? Please, he's always fine. Just said he was busy, asked for a stand-in," Kisame offered with a shrug. I tried with all my effort not to let the growing anxiety register on my face but despite my efforts, I could feel my mouth pulling into a taut line.

He asked for a stand in because he was busy? Oh this did not bode well.

"You know the drill, go ahead and sit down between us. Might be a little longer this time with Kakuzu being an elderly man and all, so settle in," Kisame said, shooting Kakuzu a joking grin. Kakuzu narrowed his eyes at him but didn't retort. He may have worn a smirk under his mask but I couldn't tell for sure.

Kisame wasn't kidding though, it really did take longer. Around hour three my stomach was protesting loudly in addition to the waves of headache and nausea hitting me which I was familiar with from the other times. I felt like a fish out of water, all wet and sweaty and struggling to breathe. Kisame and Kakuzu looked to be deeply concentrating, both rigid and strained, especially as we rounded to the finish.

In the end, the whole thing lasted about five agonizing hours, during which I had nothing to do but sweat profusely and pine over Itachi. It was the worst torture I'd ever endured, and mind you, I had been stabbed in the leg once upon a time. The final "pop" that always came with the seal breaking felt louder this time, brighter and somehow hot. I felt sick to my stomach as it burned through me.

"Alley Oop," Kisame said gruffly as he heaved me up to my feet.

"Oh, thanks Kisame," I said, wincing as I felt that familiar soreness run through my whole body, a lovely little after-effect of the process. "Thanks Kakuzu…" I added, realizing I had taken up his entire morning too. He stared back at me in response. It wasn't a glare so I took it as a win.

"You alright?" Kisame asked, his hand remaining on my shoulder to make sure I stayed upright.

"I can bring you back to the common room," He offered, already moving to take me into his arms. I stopped him.

"That's alright, I have to go to the bathroom anyway. I'm okay, really," I assured with a weak smile. Only I wasn't intending on going to the bathroom.

I stood outside Itachi's door with my hand poised to knock for a long time. I couldn't seem to muster the courage. I was afraid that, as terrible as my current state of unknowing was, perhaps knowing would prove to be even worse. I reminded myself again that last night was literally perfect. I was in my head about it. Things were fine.

It turned out I wouldn't need to work up the courage to knock, the door opened on it's own. Not wide, but a crack, Itachi's dark irises staring down at me from beyond it.

"Yes?" he asked in a way that made me flinch.

"I… can I come in?" I asked, finding my eyes instinctively sinking to the floor along with my stomach and every other organ in my body. The way he was looking at me reminded me of the first time I saw him. Like he didn't know me from a hill of beans.

"I'm... busy," he said coldly, also looking away. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I swallowed down the lump in my throat and wiped the sweat from my forehead that was still there from my session. I couldn't afford to just leave, I was going to implode if I didn't talk to him.

"Itachi, please," I pleaded, and as those words came out of my mouth, I could only think of how different they sounded compared to when I'd said them last night. I winced at the thought. His eyes flickered over my form, but it wasn't appraising in the way that he was checking up on me like normal. No, it was as a predator does it's prey. He stepped away without a word, opening the door enough for me to enter. I did so with a terrible feeling in my gut.

"So?" he questioned, not letting the silence settle.

My tongue moved around in my mouth uncomfortably, realizing it had suddenly gone dry. It took me a moment to find my voice. "I'm confused…"

"I can tell," he answered quickly without much emotion. There was a certain biting cold to his words that made me want to shrink in on myself.

"You weren't there today," I stated, but it was really a question.

"Correct. So far I don't understand your confusion. Like I said, I am busy. I trust Kisame and Kakuzu did just fine." He replied.

I could no longer resist the urge to shrink, my shoulders curling in and hands grabbing at my elbows. My chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself as I tried to process what was happening. I struggled to stay solidly on my feet, unbalanced from the body aches already but Itachi's sudden dismissiveness towards me was far more dizzying. My tongue clicked as I went to speak, the words coming a moment later.

"It's just that… well, last night-" I began. He cut me off abruptly.

"Last night was a mistake." He was stern and unwavering and when he saw me gaping at a loss for words, he took the opportunity to continue on. "It won't happen again, I can promise you that. We need not continue to interact outside of professional necessity."

My heart clenched horrendously in my chest, the tightness of it feeling like actual, physical pain and my hand instinctively clutched at it. I felt like I was about to topple over, my other hand shooting out behind me to hold myself up against the door.

"What is it now? Did I not explain it well enough to abate your confusion?" he asked, his eyes unchanging from how they looked the first moment he opened the door.

I stared at the bed behind him. I had been in it, beneath him, just last night not even twelve hours ago. Could that Itachi and the person in front of me really be the same? My face felt like pins and needles, a numbness spreading across it with an unbearable heat as my thoughts began to spiral into dangerous territory.

"I-I don't understand… s-so you don't want me talking to you any… anymore?" I couldn't keep the tremble out of my voice any more than I could from my hands. Soon my entire body would be shaking.

"Correct. To put it more simply, if that helps, I don't want you." He said flatly.

I wanted to wretch, I nearly did. My face went red as I thought about the position I was in last night, the things we had done, how he had seen me, and now this is what I had become to him overnight. "I don't… I-I don't understand," I said with a strained choking noise. "Are you... m-mad at me?... What did I d-do?"

He seemed to grow frustrated which was the first actual emotion I had seen from him. Like he couldn't believe I was making him explain further.

"Mad at you? I am not anything at you. I don't know how to make this any simpler, Izumi."

I stared up at him horrified. I couldn't believe this was the same Itachi from last night who peppered me with affection and held me through my pain. Now he didn't seem to mind being the source of it. I clutched harder at my chest as my breathing came out in shallow bursts. The anguish flaring and overtaking me, I couldn't put it into words. I stammered out a few different syllables as if trying to start a plethora of various sentences but none of them came to fruition.

"If that's all, you can leave." Itachi eventually said.

"O-okay…" I choked out, turning slowly and unsteadily to the door. His hand slammed against it as I began to open it. I flinched, freezing in place with my hand on the door handle. I could feel him lean into me from behind, the heat of his breath falling upon the back of my neck as he spoke.

"I'm s…" he started to say something before cutting himself off with a frustrated growl of a sigh, settling on something else a second later. "Do not come back here. That is the final rule. Do you understand?" His voice was barely above a whisper yet somehow strained.

My eyes were wide and staring straight ahead at the woodgrain of the door with laser focus despite the tears flowing from them. I nodded my head jerkily and mechanically. He removed his weight from the door and it opened enough for me to slip out, my heart breaking into a thousand pieces as I did so.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to wail and howl and shriek until my vocal chords gave out. How could I have been so stupid and naive? To think I had been falling for a man that I knew killed his entire family. What did I think would happen? Did I think there was somehow a misunderstanding and he was secretly good? He got what he wanted from me, of course this would be the result.

I absolutely hated myself.

It's okay, Izumi… he had both of us fooled.

I knew things were bad when my alter was supportive.

I only made it a few steps down the hallway, hyperventilating uncontrollably, before leaning against the wall and sliding down it, crumbling into a mess of arms and legs grabbing at myself. Heaving sobs racked my body in contradiction to the far-too-fast breathing that tore from me. I tried desperately to pull myself together, to just breathe in and out like a normal person, but the numbness in my face had replicated itself in my hands as well and the descent down the spiral was quick and merciless.

And so the mystery was soIved. The ledge I had leapt off last night, Itachi and I plunging into its depths together… that was no longer the case. Looking around I would see that I was alone, and once I had finally reached that darkness to find out what lay beyond, I discovered it was an endless expanse of just that. Darkness.

Get up, girl. Don't let them see you like this.

Fair. I pushed myself to my feet in a quick movement, thinking maybe I could at least find a less-trafficked hallway or broom closet to sob my heart out in. Standing was a bad idea. A bout of vertigo struck me back to the ground where I stayed, struggling with my hiccuping, overwrought breathing.

I didn't know how long I'd been there for but I was past the point of embarrassment and only happy to see Kakuzu come down the hall. I wasn't sure I could deal with someone like Deidara, he'd be worried and have a million questions, none of which I'd be interested in entertaining. Kakuzu was ideal because while he wouldn't care to hear about it, he would likely, though begrudgingly, help me.

"What's with you being in a constant state of distress…" he muttered, voice gruff as ever as he came upon me.

Perfect.

"I'm not feeling well…" I answered, technically truthfully, looking up at him with swollen, heavy eyelids. I extended my arms up and as I'd hoped, but also to my surprise, he yanked me up by my wrists and hefted me into his arms.

"You're a pain in the ass," he grumbled.

"I know… I'm sorry," I mumbled, turning into him. He may not have been my person of choice to seek comfort from necessarily, but I was desperate to dull the ache that expanded in my chest. He didn't stop me from pulling myself up against him, arms looping around his shoulders and neck, my forehead resting in the crook of his collar. I sniffled as my eyes welted once more at just the thought of Itachi's cutting words, but I managed to hold it at bay and not degrade further into a blubbering mess.

"What's all this about?" he eventually asked impatiently. And here I was thinking he'd never ask.

"I'm just… tired," my voice cracked as I spoke barely audibly into his collar.

He sighed heavily. "I'm too old for this shit." I heard him mutter, but that's all he said before he continued on, trudging at a slow pace down the meandering hallways and, I suspect, taking a few long detours, hefting me once more to readjust me closer to him. I sniffled again, preparing for my free ride to be over soon as I was well aware that taking the long way to let me calm down a bit was the extent of Kakuzu's generosity. I was certain he was taking me out to the common room where I would be under the scrutiny of whoever was out there, if anyone, and I was absolutely in no mood for it.

"Do I smell bad or something?" Kakuzu asked, assumedly in reference to my incessant sniffling. I stifled an exhausted, abrupt snort, stunned into a short burst of laughter by Kakuzu's very uncharacteristic attempt at humor.

"Did... you just... make a joke?" I grumbled in awe.

"Absolutely not." He said flatly. "Smell a man enough times and he'll begin to wonder."

I laughed lightly, tiredly. "I'll keep that in mind…" I had no wit left in me but I appreciated the ounce of humor he'd provided all the same.

"We're almost there. I trust you have your affairs in order."

And by affairs I'm sure he meant sniffles.

"Yes," I answered quietly, letting myself fall away from him so I was draped in his arms like a ragdoll. I wiped at my eyes and cheeks with the backs of my hands and looked up to Kakuzu. He glanced down with a stoic expression.

"Thank you..." I said quietly. He grunted in affirmation before bringing me out into the common room and slumping me onto the couch. The room was thankfully empty otherwise. Without another word, he left. I promptly wrapped myself in blankets, willing myself to fall asleep once more. Anything was better than being awake at that point.

Wrong again.

The nightmare started the same way it always does, with the baby, with Aki. But this time it went further, the newly broken seal pulling the curtain back a bit more, just another glimpse beyond.

But I didn't want to see. I tried to cover my eyes but it was just so bright.

It was from the fire.

Roaring, destructive fire. The smell of it on flesh was beyond putrid and the sounds it drew from grown men were nothing short of absolute agony. That's why they were all screaming, all those voices coming out of that baby. Because of the burning. The searing pain. They were alive when it happened, not even lucky enough to pass out from the smoke first.

Staring into the glowing, incendiary yellows and oranges, I squinted. There was something in the flames, in the distance. No, not in them. In front of them. They were merely a backdrop for this one, lone figure, merely a shadow. But a part of me knew it was something much more terrible.

The figure called out to me and I began to shake uncontrollably. But it was an odd sort of feeling, not like my body was shivering but like it was being shaken. My name again, louder this time, by someone familiar.

I startled awake with a bizarre sort of strangled cry that my ears only caught the end of. Opening my eyes revealed to me that it was Kisame's deep, gruff voice shouting my name, coupled with his hands gripping and jostling me about.

"Ki… Kisame?" I felt delirious as I clutched at him, trying to gather my bearings. It took me a moment but I realized I was there, in the common room, and not in a field full of people being burned alive. I had to admit, there was a certain relief that came with that. "Geez Kisame," I sighed, letting myself lean into him.

"God kid, I couldn't tell if you were getting murdered or plowed in whatever dream you were having."

"Kisame!" I hissed at his crudeness, pushing him away. He laughed.

"What? It was hard enough to wake you up, practically gave you shaken baby syndrome for fuck's sake. Everything okay in there?" he asked, rapping his fingers against my skull.

I only grunted and swatted his hand away before rubbing my eyes with a wince. I wondered if I should talk to him about Itachi. Kisame was his wingman after all. It would be the right thing to do, letting him know he was out of job and all.

"Hey, I know that I'm hilarious and all but I'm also being serious. You alright?" He tilted his head down to meet my eyeline.

"Yeah, I'm… well, no… not really," I admitted, not even enough mental capacity to lie, "but... can we talk about it later?"

"Sure, kid. You just let me know," he said hesitantly. "Hey if I leave you alone in here you're not gonna start screaming again, are you? It's super inconvenient since my room is the closest, you know."

Curse you, Kisame. I'm over here trying to be upset, you know. Quit it with your snark.

"I'll certainly try my best not to. So sorry to have disturbed you, Kisame-sama." I said with a smirk. He returned a toothy grin of his own before retiring once again to his room.

I quietly grabbed a book. Laying on my side, partially curled in a ball, I flipped through the pages with a dull stare painted on my face. I read the words on the pages but I thought of Itachi.

There were many snapshots of him I would forever hold in my memory from that night, whether or not that was a good thing, but there was one in particular that played on a repetitive, flickering reel in my head. It was there in that comfortably quiet, steaming shower with the water hitting my back. Itachi had just broken from the kind of kiss that makes you lose track of time, lingering there against my lips to plant one more, then another, still one more. His fingertips buried in my messy, wet hair, thumbs gently angling my jaw up to meet him. We were no longer kissing to ramp up to something more, this was the something more. And it felt beautiful and perfect and like it could come all crashing down at any moment for some reason and maybe that's why we were so intent on never letting it end.

It took too many tries to break away from that kiss, but simultaneously there could have never been enough. The way he looked down at me, still with my face held delicately there in his hands, I couldn't believe my knees didn't give out. But I stayed standing, and he was the one dropping to his knees. I could do nothing but watch him as his hands slid down my sides, coming to rest lightly on each hip, squeezing gently, his forehead hitting against my belly button. He stayed there like that, both of us did, just letting the water wash over us for a long time. There was something painfully sorrowful about it and I couldn't understand why. I brought my hands to his hair, smoothing down and over it repeatedly with the whisper of his name on my lips. He stirred from whatever stasis held him there, just slightly, just enough to angle his head up and press a kiss into my belly, low and centered on my waistline. His lips felt like they might burn through the skin and I felt a flood of melancholy wash over me as well.

"It's okay," was all I whispered. I wasn't even sure what was wrong, or what was okay. But I wanted him to believe that it was. That it would be. I was so wrong.

Several people milled in and out of the common area over the course of the afternoon, none of them being Itachi, and I grew tired of the questions and stares and whispers.

Hidan would be the next person to put me up on the stand. He swaggered in slowly with a yawn, shirtless as always, picking at his fingernails as he plopped down at the far end of the couch by my feet. I moved them just in time to avoid my ankles being squashed. He casually grabbed them and dragged them back to rest on his lap once he settled in.

"Oh sorry, I heard you were trying to become one with the couch. Almost didn't see you there." He feigned obliviousness.

"Hidan…" I scolded half-heartedly with a scowl.

"Izumi," he mocked me with a disgruntled look which slowly transformed into a smirk. I rolled my eyes like he was an annoyance but the feeling of his hands resting atop my ankles was admittedly a small comfort.

"Alright, alright, so who do I need to beat up?" He questioned half-jokingly but stared at me in waiting for an answer quite seriously.

"I just don't feel good after the memory thing," I sighed, tired of lying.

"Seems a lot fucking worse than last time," he speculated suspiciously. He really was more observant than he got credit for. At least, he was when it came to me anyway… I realized for the first time.

Odd.

I shrugged. "Maybe each one gets worse," I suggested.

"Pfft, if that's true then based on this," he loosely gestured to me, "the last one is gonna turn you into a pile of fucking jello."

"That doesn't sound so bad," I said thoughtfully. "Being jello could be fun. I wouldn't need to worry about anything at least. Plus I'd be tasty."

"Nah, you'd be the worst kind. You'd be lime jello." He said, absent-mindedly pulling the hems of my pant legs up to examine my ankles. They were still a little bruised and were one of the areas that didn't receive initial treatment since they weren't usually visible.

"I would not be lime…" I grumbled at him.

"You're literally turning green already." He raised my leg up to show me my yellowish-greenish ankle. "Fuck,this is worse than I thought, you'd be lemon-lime." He grimaced dramatically.

"Oh and I suppose you'd be a better flavor?" I challenged with a raised brow.

"Tch, obviously. I'd be cherry." He said with confidence and that charming grin of his.

"Why, because you're always covered in blood?"

"You know Izumi, I don't care what people say, you're not as dumb as you look." He said with mock sincerity. I threw my book at him which he seemed to enjoy since he let it hit him with a smile, the glutton for toture.

"You're the idiot here, talking to me about what kind of jello we'd be…" I chided.

"Hey now, this is what we call a fucking intellectual conversation." He tutted while standing to leave, my feet finding their way back to the empty cushion. I didn't like it. Even if I feigned annoyance, I liked talking about jello with Hidan. For all the issues I had with him over the course of my time with the Akastuki, I had to admit he had grown on me and he was the only thing taking my mind off other things.

"Where are you going?" I asked without really thinking, immediately scolding myself inwardly for sounding so clingy.

Haven't you learned your lesson?

"Why, you gonna miss me?" He asked, cocking his head with a smirk. And there it was, exactly what I was afraid of.

"It was just a question…" I mumbled, quickly averting my gaze.

Hidan leaned in, his hands stuffed casually into his pockets. "That's not a 'no'," he said with a wink. "And seeing as you're partially fucking fused to the couch at this point, I guess I don't need to tell you not to go anywhere, but I'll be right back."

He paused before he turned to leave, picking up the book I had thrown, opening it haphazardly to the middle. "Here, you were reading this, right?" he said, tossing it on top of my face, the inner spine hugging my nose and forehead.

"Hidan!" I rebuked, muffled by the pages. By the time I snatched it off my face he was already heading off down the hallway, whistling innocently.

I originally thought I wanted to be left alone but I realized then that I just wanted to be distracted, so I was thankful that Hidan didn't take long to come back. I watched him approach from the shadows of the hallway as he nonchalantly tossed about a small, familiar container. He lobbed it over his shoulder, deftly catching it behind him with his other hand before bringing it back around to open it. It was filled with a yellow oil, the same kind he had applied to my neck. It was weird to think that wasn't even a week ago.

"Show off." I rolled my eyes with a small smile. He flashed a grin in response as he returned to the same spot on the couch, my feet moving and repositioning themselves on his thighs once more. He quickly took to yanking my pant bottoms up to my knees.

"Ya know…" he began, dipping his fingers into the viscous oil, "most people have to pay for something like this." His fingers moved thoroughly across my skin, a glossy sheen covering every spot they touched. His hands worked over my right ankle slowly and firmly, though not enough to hurt. In fact, it felt far from painful. I had to work at keeping my mouth shut so as to not embarrass myself with any small noises of relief begging to escape me. Even if they weren't sexual, I knew he would make it that way.

"So, should I be flattered that I'm not most people... or should I be preparing to give you what little coin I have to my name?" I asked evenly, trying not to let on how he was affecting me.

He glanced up at me with a wry smirk before returning his attention to my limbs. "Who said I get paid in coin?" he asked, giving my ankle a particularly deep squeeze, his thumb pressing in and pushing along my achilles tendon and up my calf muscle.

And that's what did it. That's what drew one of those embarrassing little noises out of me that I was so trying to avoid. It was barely a whisper, a fleeting, sharp exhale of relief, coupled with an involuntary fluttering of my eyelids closing for the briefest of moments. When I opened them again, they immediately sought out Hidan to make sure he hadn't noticed. Much to my dismay, I was met with his very intense gaze, the corners of his lips upturned in such a way that led me to believe I had given him exactly what he was trying for.

"Feel good?" He asked, tilting his head and clearly already knowing the answer based on his cocky expression. His hands worked expertly up my calf, kneading and squeezing, gliding along my skin easily, slick from the oil, and he did so without taking his eyes from mine.

"Yes," I breathed out, immediately wincing at how I sounded. His smile only grew. Had Itachi not pulled a 180 on me, I would have been stopping Hidan right about now… but I had no reason to now, not if it was the only thing pulling me back from the brink.

"You catching a cold or something? Sounds like you're losing your voice." He asked in a genuine tone but the look on his face made it all too clear that he knew very well that I was not catching a freaking cold.

I shook my head, opting out of saying anything more.

"You want me to stop?" He asked, his thumbs rubbing slow, deep circles into the muscle of my calf before coming to a halt, awaiting my answer.

"No," I whined with a slight groan as he stopped. His eyes seemed to darken as he took in my response, the arrogant amusement on his face fading and shifting to a more serious, hungrier expression. His lips parted just slightly, tongue pressed against the back of his teeth, as he watched me intently.

His hands travelled smoothly up and over my knee, fingers snaking their way under the rolled-up pant legs and squeezing firmly around the tops of my thighs. I fought hard against the soft sigh in my throat but I couldn't stop my eyes from closing with a flutter, my brows knitting together as a heat washed over my face.

I was thankful Hidan's hands felt so different from Itachi's. Even with my eyes closed they could never be mistaken as the same. Itachi had a certain gentle grace about him. Even when he was dominating me, he was controlled, concise. Hidan was rough and chaotic, unapologetically so. While I still couldn't seem to take my mind completely away from Itachi, even now under the hands of Hidan, I couldn't bear to be reminded of my misstep more than necessary.

When I was able to open my eyes I found that Hidan was gazing at me with an expression that made me think he was enjoying this more than I was. Brows together in concentration, he raised them and pushed his chin forward in an encouraging way as his hands traveled further up towards the middle of my thighs before squeezing again, slightly harder this time.

"Hidan," I gasped in shock at the tremor it sent ricocheting through my legs. They would continue to quiver for the next few seconds against my will, I was finding out that they liked to do that...

My face ignited once more and swaths of blanket spilled out from between my fingers as I subconsciously gripped them tightly. I thought of Itachi's rules somewhere in the back of my head. Hidan's teeth found his lip and bit down hard as he watched me with expanding pupils. I suddenly became all too aware of our location in the common room.

"Hidan," I breathed again, swallowing hard before following up quickly, "I need tostop." I took a deep breath in an attempt to override the pace it was trying to come out in. I was pretty sure people got massages every day and managed to not dissolve into absolute jello. The jello-related irony was not lost on me.

Hah.

Hidan and his voracious gaze held onto me for a moment, unwavering, as if needing time to process this request. He blinked once, then again, the control over his expression seemed to slowly come back as he teeth released their hold on his swollen bottom lip. He looked back down to my legs with a slow nod and his hands withdrew from their position on my thighs, though not with any haste and not without grazing along the entire length before ending up at my ankles again. His usual cocky smile found its way back on his face as he rubbed them casually like he had at the very beginning.

"So... what badge does that get me in the Izumi fanclub?" He asked. I choked on a laugh, not expecting the question.

"Okayest leg rub," I replied as coolly as I could, still recovering.

"Okayest?" he scoffed. "Let me take you to another room and I'll show you how okay it can be. Legs are nothing, I give a really fucking good back rub, ya know." He offered in a challenging way.

"I don't have bruises there," I retorted quickly, thankful to have facts on my side.

"You don't have bruises on your thighs either but I didn't hear you complaining." He called me out before adding, "And if we're saying fucking bruise location is what gets the go-ahead, then I guess that means I can get those ones on your hips next?" He nonchalantly flicked the hem of my shirt up a few inches, exposing the obvious finger-spaced bluish purple spots marking my pale skin just above the top of my pants.

I immediately hated the facts.

"No." I said, decidedly blunt.

"You know you make me crazy, right?" He asked in a low timbre, dragging his nails up my shins and subsequently sending a shiver down my spine.

"You were already crazy," I retorted in a huff as I grabbed my book and pretended to be interested in it.

"Oi, where the fuck did these ones come from? These weren't there before." Hidan was suddenly grabbing my forearm. I dropped the book as his hand yanked my wrist toward him, he scrutinized it with narrowed eyes before looking back to me for an explanation. I hadn't realized Itachi left any marks but there they were and I knew undoubtedly it had been from last night.

"You keeping a running list of my injuries now?" I asked defensively.

"You working on creative ways to avoid answering questions now?" He retorted, unblinking.

"Hidan," Itachi's voice cut through the air, instantly reducing me to a frozen, timid, shrinking version of myself. Speak of the Devil.

"What?" Hidan whined, unphased and unabashed by Itachi's sudden presence. He didn't bother moving my legs off him, instead his one hand continued to rest across my ankles, his other still had my forearm firmly captured. And there I was, looking like a hot mess with a tangle of hair, red, puffy eyes, my shirt flipped up to my navel, and covered in bruises and oil.

"Pain would like to see you in his office. New assignments." He said plainly. He glanced at me for only a moment, his eyes moving across my form quickly, stopping briefly on my injuries, the spots on my wrists in particular.

"Fucking hell…" Hidan cursed before turning to me. "We'll fucking talk about this later," he waggled my wrist, giving me a pointed look, before letting it free. I quickly pulled it back against me while tugging my shirt down. Hidan's absence left just Itachi and me. I wanted nothing more than to be able to turn into a turtle and recess into my shell.

I expected him to just leave, after all he's the one that told me to stop talking to him, so it surprised me when he suddenly approached. I had a thousand questions but they all sounded so desperate and I honestly didn't think I could bear his answers. I opted to keep them in my head, remaining frozen as he loomed over me. I took note of his eyeline narrowing in on my wrist and I shrunk into the couch as much as possible but there was no point.

His hand easily pulled mine up, my sleeve loose enough to shift down my arm when held upright. Itachi stared with an indiscernible, perturbed expression which quickly devolved into outright resentment. His brows angled severely before blinking his eyes shut with frustration, letting out a pained sigh.

"Pathetic," he muttered, pushing my hand away from him. I pulled it back into me and held it there against my chest which tightened horribly as I watched him walk away. Then came the tears again. Back to square one.

I needed to talk to Kisame.

His room was always the easiest to find because, as he said, it was the closest to the common room. Not only that, but I had painted a cute, little blue fish with legs on it one particularly boring day, and he miraculously allowed it to stay. I stared at the fish as I raised my hand to knock.

"Hey kiddo, was wondering when you'd be by." He said, opening the door. It was unnerving how all these guys could sense me coming. "You look like hell," he added.

"Really? That's so weird because I feel great." I said with a weak smile and an eyeroll. He chuckled and stepped aside for me to come in. It wasn't at all what I planned on, but once I got in there and looked up at Kisame and his big, stupid, blue, grinning face, I practically launched myself into him. He let out a surprised little grunt before landing on another chuckle, his hands heavy on top of my head and shoulders.

"Oh boy… so what'd he do?" Kisame asked with a sigh, ruffling my hair and giving me a little squeeze. I pulled back lazily and unmussed my hair in a rather grumbly fashion.

Straight to the point then.

I didn't know where to start or how much I should divulge. He took note of my internal struggle, mouth open but no words forming, and promptly plucked me up to plop me on his oversized bed.

"You looked like you were using half your brainpower just to stand upright, don't want you hurting yourself," he teased, grabbing himself a chair and flipping it around, sitting on it backwards with his arms folded over the back of it, chin resting atop those. Waiting ever so patiently.

Men really do love gossip.

I let out an exhausted huff. "I know you said he'd try to push me away but it was… not what I expected. It was a lot… worse?"

"Ah, so he's already started on his bullshit," he said in understanding. A frustrated eye roll.

"Yeah... but I really don't think it's an act, Kisame. He was like… like a different person," I said, choosing to remain vague still.

"Alright well give me the hot goss, the dirt, the deets. What'd he say?" He pressed, scooting his chair forward and leaning in even more.

"Well, he pretty much told me to leave him alone…" I tried not to sound as defeated as I was. "...to not talk to him again... outside of a professional capacity."

"Is that all?" He snorted like it was nothing.

Well… minus the unimportant detail that we slept together.

"Basically." I held myself by the arm, biting the inside of my cheek.

"Here's the thing. Itachi is… I'll say unique. Relentlessly tortured to point that it's honestly fucking annoying. He'll take every opportunity to shut down unless you don't give him the option." Kisame delved into a long-winded explanation and psychiatric evaluation of Itachi Uchiha.

I shook my head. "I don't think you understand. He was… mean."

"Heh… kid, you don't know what 'mean' is. No offense."

I snorted at his condescension.

Hi. Was literally tortured here, in case you forgot.

"Look, all I'm saying is that I know the guy and, without getting too mushy, he's different with you, I mean fuck, a lot of these guys are, but nevermind them. He's different with you. Trust me, if you march in there and don't take no for an answer, it's not the one you'll get. He'll fold."

I was pleased to understand the poker reference.

I heaved out a hopeless sigh of monstrous proportions, bringing my hands up to rub my eyes. "I think you give me too much credit."

"And I think you give yourself too little."

"Well that's because I'm a useless little pipsqueak… and he's Itachi Uchiha." I reminded, just to give him some perspective.

"And yet, I'm pretty sure you're the only person on this earth that might be able to bring that man to his knees."

It struck a chord. There was no way he could understand the depth and context of that comment. I recalled that moment in the shower once more, as I had already done repeatedly throughout the day. Itachi, on his knees, pressing a kiss into the heat of my pelvis, as if it could truly heal any damage he'd done. Somewhere between repentant and worshipping. I flushed at the thought and forced myself back to reality.

"Let's pretend you're not wrong…" I began.

"I hate pretending, can we just say I'm actually not wrong?" Kisame interrupted.

"No. We're pretending," I scolded.

He waited for me to continue with a scowl and I tried not to let my amusement creep in. We were talking serious business.

"Anyway," I began again, folded arms and a stern look cast in his direction, "pretending you're not wrong... what am I supposed to say to him?" I finally asked.

He grunted out a short burst of a laugh. "You're asking the wrong guy. You're the wordsmith here, remember? Witty mouth or something like that? Oh hey, why don't you try one of those hugs, that was… kind of nice… I guess," He said, scratching his head and looking down, a somewhat darker shade of blue tinting his cheeks. It was adorable.

"When was the last time you got a hug, Kisame? Besides just now, of course." I asked, having no right to tease him considering my recent foray into hugging territory but doing it anyway.

Again, he was laughing in a way that led me to interpret it as never.

"Well, glad I could end your dry spell then," I teased.

"Dry spell? Who said anything about a dry spell? In fact, just the other-"

He was now talking about something else. Definitely not hugging. I quickly interrupted him.

"Thank you, Kisame-sama, for your time and wisdom, as always." I tipped an imaginary hat at him. He promptly plucked said hat from my hands and put it on his head smugly so I couldn't reach.

"I'll get that back when you least expect it," I warned as I opened the door to leave, despite not being quite ready to leave the warm, comfortableness of Kisame's room. Not when I had nothing but uncertainty waiting for me outside it.

"So, you gonna talk to him?" he asked as I passed under the door frame, my fingers clinging to the inside of it subconsciously. His countenance was unusually humorless.

I nodded. "I think so… soon anyway. Maybe in the morning."

"Good." He ruffled my hair once more and put the hat back on me, tying imaginary straps beneath my chin. I couldn't help but snort, nodding in thanks. It would save me the trouble of stealing it back later.

At least I had a plan, a bit more confidence than before, and an invisible hat no less.

All very important things.

A/N: I'M SORRY Y'ALL but at the same time… let the drama BEGIN :3 *dodges rotten fruit*