The best and worst part about falling into a sleep so deep that you forget you've ever been awake is that nothing brings you out of it. Not any amount of noise or jostling, emotion or obligation, nothing. What that means for dreams though, is that they don't end when it gets too scary.
You don't wake up. You just keep watching.
The fire. The screams. The baby. They'd all gone on for an impossible, indeterminable amount of time and all I could do after a while was turn away from them, crouched on the ground with my hands over my ears.
Seeing that it was merely a dream however, my hands weren't corporeal, neither were my ears for that matter, so I heard it all quite clearly regardless.
In my seemingly infinite stay in that nightmare of a place, pun intended, I will admit that I was at least forced to really think about it. Where I was, what was happening, these nightmares in general.
What did they mean?
They were something I had always run from, hid from. But why?
Why should I?
It was my past. It had already happened, whether I knew about it or not, and I was going to find out about it one way or another. Pain needed me to.
My life literally depended on it.
So why should I let it bully me into a corner and make me watch with my eyelids forcibly peeled back when I could just open them myself and do it on my own terms?
I thought to push beyond where I'd been before. I wasn't sure it was a good decision per se, but it was the one I went with nevertheless. In all fairness, this could be said about most of my decisions.
So I would attempt to take control of this lucid dreaming situation and actually explore the hellscape I found myself in.
There was a figure in the distance, in front of the flames and I wondered if I was supposed to go to them. See their face.
I ran towards them for a long time, too long to not have gotten any closer, and yet, that seemed to be the case.I kept running, kept trying, but to my dismay, they somehow grew even smaller in the distance.
Ugh. If that's not what I was supposed to be doing then what?
I stood there, looking around me at a loss, the ground aflame in areas and littered with bodies. Having spent a decent amount of time in such a setting at that point, I had actually numbed to the visual of it a bit.
Hooray exposure therapy.
There was one corpse in particular though that gave me pause. She looked so serene, cheek to the ground, a thin trail of scarlet streaking from the corner of her lips and pooling in a neat little puddle in the dirt.
Despite the blood, her lips seemed to almost form a smile. Wavy, wild hair dusted darkly across her lashes. Her open eyes seemed to lock with mine but I told myself it was just a coincidence, I only happened to be standing in front of her.
I had stopped on this woman in particular because it was me.
I couldn't wrap my little lizard brain around how? How could it be me if this was some weird distortion of a memory? I wasn't in the future… was I?
Not really sure what to do next, I laid beside her with my own cheek flush to the ground, staring back into her vacant, unblinking eyes. I brushed the bangs out of her face. I had thought it was me at a glance, but this woman was different.
Older. Prettier, even through the dirt and gore adorning her delicate features.
"Who are you?" I whispered.
I stared at her and the longer I did, the more she seemed to smile. I couldn't tell if it was in my head or not. Was her smile actually growing or had I just imagined it? But it still remained sweet somehow, like she might burst into a soft laugh at any moment.
You can imagine my surprise when she did just that.
I startled backwards with a gasp, moving to scramble away with my heart pitching against my ribs.
"No, honey. Please don't look away… Please don't forget me," she pleaded, strangely sad but again with a laugh, like I was being a silly child.
The laugh, while soft, was somehow so much louder than it needed to be and it echoed for far too long. It hurt my head terribly, to the point that I needed to cringe my eyes shut.
I felt like I was somehow letting her down but when I opened them, she was still there, smiling back at me, wistful and morose. I felt compelled to stay, laying back down as I had been. She mirrored my previous gesture and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.
I nearly crumbled beneath her touch as I felt it all hit me at once.
"M….Mom?" I asked weakly, a tremor wobbling the word.
Her smile grew so large, with such relief. Like she'd been so afraid I would never remember and all that fear washed away from her in one blustering sweep.
She was stunning, even decorated with streaks of rouge, and I longed to be in her arms.
There was no biting back tears, I ugly cried as the realization really seeped into me.
This was my only memory of her and I couldn't even really call it that. But she was just so beautiful, I wanted to keep looking at her smile to make up for all the years I should have seen it.
"Oh little bean, you always wore your emotions on your sleeve," she said with a tilted head, that soft smile, continuing to card through my hair.
She was perfect and she called me little bean. I suddenly realized where I had gotten some of my speech patterns from and I broke down even more until I was nothing but atoms.
How could someone do this to her... to everyone?
"Mom I… I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I lived and you... you-"
"Shhh, none of that is important. This is what's important." She said, her eyes gentle and nurturing, but still with some urgency behind them.
I stared, perplexed, as she pushed a swaddled little package towards me. A baby. I was certain there had not been a baby in her arms before but there it was now, so who was I to argue?
We were working off dream rules and I was fairly certain that meant anything goes.
He was wrapped tightly, she pushed him further towards me and I immediately snatched him up.
"You guys need to take care of each other, alright?" she said.
"Aki?" I asked with a crackling voice.
She nodded warmly with a smile, she was beaming at the sight of me holding this child.
"M-my brother?" I ventured to guess.
Another nod. Another smile.
I nodded back voraciously, coming to tears again. "Y-yeah, of course."
"He's so small, he's an even littler bean than you. He needs your help, honey." Her words became so quiet.
They hit me in a strange way. He was with that Orochimaru. He probably did need my help, even beyond this ethereal construct I was trapped in at the moment.
Everything started to blur and fade. I was desperate to keep talking to her, I had so many questions but one was blaring in my mind much louder than the rest.
If Aki was my brother and Orochimaru's son… did that mean the same for me? Was I his daughter?
I called out for her but the curtain was already closing. I cried out louder but was met with only silence, not even an echo.
Then it was darkness. Darkness until I awoke once more after what had felt like ages.
"Well, if it isn't sleeping beauty. Have a good nap, sweetheart?" Hidan's voice was the first thing I heard as I began to stir and I was delighted to not be alone.
Groggy and out of it, I rubbed my eyes and blinked them open.
He was sitting in a chair against the opposite wall, leaning back in it at a precarious angle, his necklace in hand with a bead pinched between two fingers.
No shirt, of course.
I surveyed the room with knitted brows, taking a moment to recall that it was mine. It was odd and unfamiliar still.
"Hidan… how long was I out?" I asked, pushing myself to sit and wiping a hearty spit stain from my cheek. Even without seeing or touching it, I could tell my hair was looking like some out-of-this-world abstract art.
"Mmm only a couple days." He said thoughtfully.
"A couple days?!" I hissed, nice and loud.
Hey, your voice is back. Neat.
"Mhmm, couple more and you would have missed your own birthday," Hidan said casually, tipping back in the chair even further, probably to show off his abs.
Intentionally or not, they were certainly being shown off.
Geez Izumi, thirsty much?
I mean… I was. I looked at the nightstand for some water but there was just a lamp. Couldn't drink that. I scowled.
"My birthday…" I stared at Hidan a bit perplexed. "How would you know that?"
Frankly I had nearly forgotten myself. It was never really anything we celebrated growing up so I had never come to expect anything out of it.
"I'm a psychic. I can read thoughts and shit," he said nonchalantly.
"Oh, really? What am I thinking then?" I asked, a smile crawling onto my face.
He smirked. Hidan loved to play games and this was certainly a game to him. Though some would also say that I was also a game to him…
He regarded me pensively, even going so far as to stand up and slowly swagger over, head tilting this way and that as he studied me. Hidan's posture was always very hip-forward for lack of a better term.
I wasn't sure if it was his natural stance or something he played at on purpose because of the way it presented his torso in a rather appealing way, all extended and somewhat leaning back, especially when he folded his arms over his chest.
He folded his arms over his chest.
I was beginning to wonder if he really was psychic. That would be terrible news for me. He didn't need to hear me thinking about how nice he looked, he already thought about that enough for the both of us.
I snapped my attention back to reality when he took my hand in his, pretending to trace lines in my palm like he knew what any of them meant, not to mention it had nothing to do with mind-reading even if he did.
"Hmmm you're thinking... about how devilishly good-looking I am," he said with a smirk.
It was a total Hidan answer. No way could he have actually picked up on that.
"Try again, Prince Charming," I said with a playful roll of my eyes, praying his ultra-Izumi insight wasn't high enough to know he'd actually been somewhat right.
"Prince Charming"? You trying to flirt or something?
It was only because he said the sleeping beauty thing… leave me alone.
"Alright fine… you're thinking about how dry your throat is…" He said, and as I was about to give him a bingo, he continued on, "... and how I'm a tall drink of water."
I snorted out a laugh. "Do all of your predictions end with me thinking about how attractive you are?"
"I don't know, should they? Would you say that'd be accurate?" he pressed with a grin and a bite of his lip, pulling my hand up and placing it flat against his stomach.
"Hidan…" I scolded, trying to play it cool.
My God, he was forward.
His skin was very smooth and his abs very… nice.
I imagined what we must look like if anyone were to see us at that moment. A greek god being caressed and worshipped by some sort of muppet with dried drool on her face and a mop of hair sticking up haphazardly as if recently suffering an electrocution.
"Izumi…" he mocked back, holding my hand there. I didn't try to pull away.
Why wasn't I trying to pull away?
That hand is in good care right now, I see no reason to disturb it.
"You're ridiculous," I said, feeling the heat rising in my face.
"That's not a 'no'." It was practically his catch phrase at that point.
He moved his hand down with mine in tow, forcing my fingers to traipse down each defined, curving ridge of his muscles, fingertips sinking in as they dipped across this navel.
I tore my hand back before we got very far.
"No then," I amended in a huff, yanking my hand back.
I had just woken up after a two-day hibernation, why the heck was he trying to get me all riled up?
He's always trying to get you all riled up.
True. I thought maybe he'd allow me a break from it, seeing as how my current state could only be described as "pungent chaos".
"May I ask what you're doing in my room?" I folded my arms so he couldn't steal my hands again.
"Feels nice to say that, huh? Your room."
"Mmm, and it'll feel even nicer to kick you out," I teased.
He raised his brows at me, bottom lip pushing out with a nod. I could practically see the words "challenge accepted" flashing over his head in neon lights.
"Well, if you must fucking know, I was bringing you a chair," he said as if it were so obvious, gesturing to the chair he'd been sitting in.
"What do I need a chair for?"
"So I have somewhere to fucking sit. Geez, fucking selfish much? Oh, unless you wanted me in the bed with you. That's cool too."
I deadpanned.
"Hidan, that is not why you were in here."
"Alright, fine. You got me. I was coming in here to see how you got your hair to do this really cool thing that it's doing. How on God's fucked up earth is this even happening right now?" He asked in astonishment, reaching out to touch it as if to verify it wasn't an illusion.
"Hidan!" I snorted out an exceptionally loud laugh. "I'm being serious!"
"So am I! It's really fucking sexy, just look at this. Gravity defying. Goddamn." he said, feigning awe as he attempted to run some fingers through it unsuccessfully.
"Nah…" he said quietly, idly playing with just one lock of the wild mane sticking up from my forehead.
"Maybe I just wanted to be the first person to hear that damn pig snort of yours. Kinda cute, you know. Not to mention these are my handy work." He lightly patted the tops of my knees through the blanket.
"Wanna take 'em for a spin?" Hidan asked with a raised brow.
"Hidan…" I said, blushing.
The genuine smile he had, which was actually quite handsome on him, morphed into a sly grin as his tongue peeked out between his teeth.
"I was talking about just getting up and walking a few steps. What were you thinking of, sweetheart?"
Oh my god. You can't just assume everything he says is sexual you freaking nasty.
I couldn't find an in-between. I'd been criticized for not realizing the sexual nature of his comments before and now I was over-compensating assuming all of them were.
Apparently I needed a guide for Hidan as well.
As well…? That's some wishful thinking there, my dear.
I caught myself. It was valid, all signs pointed to me not needing one for Itachi anymore… God, couldn't I go five minutes without thinking of him?
Hidan tended to do pretty well to distract me from those thoughts but it looked like nothing worked 100%...
"Nothing! Yes, let's walk!" I shouted like a maniac, jolting back to reality and flipping the blankets off me. That's when I first noticed I was wearing Deidara's clothes yet again. Hidan explained that Kakuzu had redone my bandages at one point and they decided Deidara's clothes would fit best because, and I quote, "he's practically a chick himself."
I just shook my head and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.
So far so good.
"You got it?" Hidan asked, standing to my side and taking my hand as I pushed off the bed.
My my… what a gentleman.
I was caught off guard by this and found myself staring down at my hand in his as I stood. His was just so large. Calloused and rough from wielding that weapon of his, but still somehow soft in a way.
It had only been two days but I felt oddly weak. It reminded me of when the seals were broken but not quite as intense. Probably just a side-effect of chakra over-expenditure. Still, my knees felt fine and I walked around the room without any assistance.
"How's it feel?" Hidan asked.
"Good," I said, bouncing a bit in place.
"Yeah it does…" Hidan said, his voice suddenly low as he stared at me intently, eyes fixated on my chest.
Alright, that one was sexual.
"You can't even see anything, my chest is wrapped, you biscuit brain," I chided with an eyeroll.
"Oh come on, like you're the only one with a good imagination."
My attempt at keeping a straight face was unsuccessful and my smile only made his grow wider with the apparent victory.
"Speaking of chests… why don't you walk over to that one," Hidan suggested as he sat down in the chair, watching me. He gestured to the chest at the foot of my bed. "Go on."
"Okay…?"
The chest was not far away. It was a small room. I walked over to it in about two seconds and looked at him.
"Well, I made it, if you can believe it."
"Prouda you. Now open it."
He had a little smirk on his face that made me a bit worried about what he was up to. I half expected snakes or a spray of blood or something horrific to come flying out at me when I opened the thing. But that's not what happened.
No, what I found wasn't at all what I expected.
There had been a dress back in the shop I went to with Hidan and Kakuzu. It was pretty, I recalled admiring the soft blue stitching on the otherwise white dress. But now there it was, sitting neatly folded in the chest at the end of my bed.
The only item in there. The first thing given to me to store in my new room.
"Happy early birthday, sweetheart," Hidan said quietly from the chair.
He'd been calling me that for a long time.
Sweetheart.
It started out sarcastically, like it was an insult somehow, some condescending thing. But this one hit differently. Over time, the "sweethearts" took on a different tone and I wasn't sure of the exact moment the definition had changed for him, but it did somewhere along the way.
Maybe it was the way he said it, but I felt strangely warm at this one in particular.
I looked back at him completely bemused. He was sitting in there, manspreading like it was his job, elbows on his knees, terrible hunched posture just watching me with the most endearing look on his face.
My eyes returned to the dress and I picked it up, unfurling it to confirm yes, it was indeed the same dress I was thinking of. The fabric was soft and shimmery as I kneaded it between my fingers, even in the dull light of my lone lamp.
"Hidan…" I breathed out, completely taken aback by the gesture. I couldn't stop smiling.
"If you really needed to know…" Hidan began, his voice lulling into this deep timbre, "this face that you're making right now... absolute batshit hair and all. That's why I'm here in your room."
I felt my face preheat and quickly come to temp.
Ding.
I didn't even know how to react to this somewhat serious, charming Hidan.
I was at a loss for words. I knew thanks were in order of course, but it didn't really feel like just a simple thank you could be enough. Like words alone wouldn't really get across how much I appreciated him. Er, the gift I mean.
Oh my. Are we about to get steamy? Because you should really brush your teeth first.
No, not like that...
"Hidan I… I don't know what to say," I said, staring down at the dress in my hands as I slowly stepped toward him.
"Hmm, you could try 'Thank you, Hidan. You're the best, Hidan. How on earth did you get so fucking sexy, Hidan?'" He grinned, tipping back in the chair again with his fingers laced behind his head.
The show off. The chair slipped for a second but he quickly caught the balance and continued to rock back on the flimsy legs with a cocky grin.
"Would you stop that?" I tutted. He leaned back more.
"Stop what?" he feigned ignorance.
"You're incorrigible."
"Hm, no. That word has too many syllables, not sure what you're talking about." Tipping further. Biting his lip.
"The chair, Hidan. You're going to break it." I said with a hand on my hip.
"Aw, and here I was thinking you were worried about me."
"Well I know you can't break."
At this, he grinned. He took great pride in being an indestructible force.
"Yeah, but I'd let you try anyway," he said. The devil.
"You know, I'm trying to thank you here," I said, mildly impatient, mildly amused.
"Well geez, you're not trying very fucking hard, been sitting here the whole time."
Hidan grinned, attempting to get my goat. And he got it.
It was like my goat was just standing there in a field, grazing on dandelions or some other delicious weeds, minding its own business and then Hidan comes along and snatches it without any resistance. Not even a bleat.
Bye goat. Thanks for nothing.
My eye twitched and I quickly decided I would make him stop tipping the stupid chair.
It clanked against the floor noisily as all four legs were suddenly connected with it again, my butt plopping hard in his lap.
My brain, my absolute walnut of a brain, flashed back to Itachi for the briefest of moments as my legs dangled and kicked over the side of Hidan just as they had with Itachi during poker.
Stop that.
"Well this is one way to thank me," Hidan said, bringing me back to this plane of existence, his voice low and face very close to mine.
I felt awkward and nervous under his stare so I quickly brought my head to rest against his shoulder, my arms wrapping around him.
"Thank you, Hidan... You're not the worst, Hidan... How on earth did you get so freaking thoughtful, Hidan?" I said, pulling myself against him a bit tighter.
There was an odd fluttery feeling in my belly as his arms did not hesitate to reciprocate, pulling me against him entirely so there wasn't a molecule of air left between us.
Hidan was truly massive compared to me and I could feel the raw power of his forearms and biceps as they flexed against my back in the squeeze. Wearing Deidara's crop top meant his skin pressing against mine in areas and I swallowed hard at the feeling of his fingers dimpling into my waist.
To my horror, he inhaled deeply which had me freezing up for a moment.
Oh my God. Now is NOT the time for him to smell you.
But somehow he didn't seem to mind.
"I feel like you went off script. I fed you the lines and everything and you still fucked it up," he grumbled into my hair and I could hear the smile in his voice.
"It's called improvisation."
"Mm, you and these big words today. I like that sexy brain of yours even more than the hair. Makes me wanna eat it."
He proceeded to feign eating the top of my skull.
With enough useless squirming and giggling on my end he ultimately decided against devouring it, citing the reason as being it was too big and would spoil his appetite.
"Is that why Kisame calls you zombie boy?" I asked.
"Who's to say? I eat more than just brains, you know…" he tapered off.
"You're absurd," I said, flushing, knowing it was some sort of come-on from his tone alone.
"Hey, what happened to 'thoughtful'?"
"I feel like that's what I should be asking you."
Neither one of us seemed to want to be the first person to break our hold on each other so we just kind of stayed like that.
Me speaking to his shoulder and him to the top of my head.
Considering my hair, I would say I was getting the better deal.
"Hidan?"
"Hm?"
"Thank you, really… I love it." I said, daring to let out a content sigh as I looked at the dress from over his shoulder, still clutching it in my hands.
"Don't mention it. Not like I paid for it anyway."
I loosened my hold and pulled back slowly to look at him with increasingly angled eyes.
"What do you mean you didn't pay for it… like, as in, you stole it...?"
He shrugged. "Does it matter? Still the same dress you loved like two seconds ago."
"Yes, it matters. I don't want to wear stolen goods."
"Well in that case, I heard Deidara steals all his shit."
"Hidan," I scolded, finally tearing away and pushing to my feet, shoving the dress into his chest.
"You can keep it."
"Ehhh I don't think it'll fit me. Thanks though." He tried to hand it back. I stepped away and crossed my arms.
"Fucking really?" he asked, annoyed and shooting me an incredulous look like I was being the difficult one.
"Yes, really. Thank you for thinking of me… but also, you know… you shouldn't be stealing and I don't want to condone that." I sounded a bit holier than thou but I felt like it was reasonable enough.
"Fine," he said, standing up.
"Fine," I agreed.
"It'll just be in my room then. I'll hold on to it just in case… ya know, for when I finally lose all that weight." He mused and I tried very hard not to let my amusement peek through.
He must have noticed it because he continued being absurd.
"Oh I know, this will be my goal dress. Plus maybe Deidara would want to borrow it. You can too if you want, you know where it'll be."
"I have no use for this information seeing as how I won't be wearing it," I said with some haughtiness.
"Sure," he agreed, a smile underlying his calm facade.
Clearly he was internally betting against me already.
At that point I was plenty ready to head out and see everyone else. For whatever reason, I let Hidan convince me that I didn't need to straighten up my appearance first. He was impatient and apparently my room was boring.
I got the impression he'd been in there a while before I woke up based on the abundance of empty food wrappers in the corner.
He acted as my escort to the common room, swaggering ahead of me and complaining about my pace. Maybe not the best escort but you get what you pay for and he was free. I actively ignored his whining. I may have felt a little off-kilter but I was thankful that he was mostly there for show and I didn't actually need help.
Kisame nearly tipped the entire table over when he jumped up upon seeing me.
"It's alive!" he boomed, sweeping me up into a hug that left my legs dangling a good distance off the floor. I giggled relentlessly as he spun us in a circle.
I had never gotten the cool, spinny hug treatment as a kid so I was going to enjoy it as if I were one, gosh darnit.
"Awesome hair, Iz, you have got to teach me your ways," he said, setting me down and messing it up even more.
"Told you," Hidan chimed in from the couch. "Everyone's gonna want it."
Before I could even give them a sideways look I was being lifted again from behind and spun in another circle.
"Did I miss a memo? Are handshakes and hugs out, is this a new greeting or something?" I shouted through laughs as I was whirled around by I didn't even know who.
"Memo came out yesterday, yeah?" Deidara said, whizzing to a halt, setting me down and turning me to face him. "But if you're oldschool, I can respect that."
He pulled me into him for a more traditional hug, murmuring into my ear, "nice to see you vertical again, Izumi."
I didn't even have time to question if that was somehow sexual.
"I'm missing the hugs again. Why am I always missing the hugs?" I heard Sasori mildly complaining from behind us.
I pulled out of Deidara's grip, though not of my own free will. It was odd, like something was controlling my movements.
I must have looked mighty confused, I was mighty confused, as everyone couldn't stop snickering at me flouncing up to Sasori to give him a huge, over-exaggerated hug complete with not one, not two, but seven awkward pats on the back.
"Wow, Izumi. You've really been working on these," Sasori said, sounding impressed. He had a sly grin on his face as I pulled back enough to see it.
"I'm a puppet right now, aren't I?" I deadpanned.
"And so smart, too," he said, his grin growing. I attempted a searing, chastising look, but who was I kidding, I was happy to see him and admittedly, that was a little funny.
"My apologies but I thought you could use the help after last time," he said.
I gave him a narrow-eyed, pursed-lip look but couldn't say much as he was entirely correct.
"You're rude." I eventually settled on as he allowed me to pull away.
"I really am, you should probably do something about it." A smile lit his otherwise expressionless face and a moment later I found myself slapping him across it.
"Sasori!" I gasped in reaction, totally shocked by my sudden, uncontrollable violent outburst.
"Wow, Izumi. And you said I am the rude one," he tutted with a disappointed look, rubbing his cheek with feigned hurt.
"You made me do that!" I cried. With everyone else cackling at the apparently hilarious scenario, I was having a hard time keeping it together myself.
"Hm. No. That doesn't sound like something I would do. I am a very serious person. You should really work on that temper of yours though..." He released the chakra strings with a small, knowing grin.
"I am glad you seem to be feeling well," he followed up on a genuine note and I pulled him in for a real hug.
"It's good to be back," I murmured.
"Sooo are we gonna talk about this hair?" Deidara butt in from behind, pulling me back and spinning me around to get a good look.
"Not you too..." I groaned, rubbing my eyes. "Fine. Here's the secret. Sleep for two days straight. I think there is likely a bit of drool involved but it truly is that easy."
"Sounds time consuming," Kisame said, displeased with this answer.
I nodded. "Beauty has its price, Kisame," I said with a shrug.
"Hey, speaking of beauty. Hidan, are you playing dress up or something, what's with that, yeah?" Deidara asked, pointing at the dress he had crumpled in his hand.
"Oh, this old thing? I got it for Izumi's birthday but she didn't want it. You interested? I think you guys share a size," he said, laying it over his body which was sprawled out across the couch. It really put into perspective just how big his frame was. The dress looked like something a doll might wear compared to him.
It also provided a very unique visual.
I could tell based on expressions that I wasn't the only one imagining him in it. Sasori in particular looked like he'd just smelled something rotten.
Deidara completely ignored most of Hidan's comment and focused on "Izumi's birthday".
"Birthday? Wait, how the hell would you know that, yeah?" Deidara asked.
A GOOD QUESTION.
"Snagged a peak at her file," Hidan said casually. I gawked at him.
Why was it that when I asked, he couldn't just tell me the apparently very simple truth?! He glanced at me slyly and shrugged.
"Shit," Deidara hissed, "so it's today?! Oh man, I didn't know, I didn't get you anyth-"
"No, no, no!" I corrected quickly, waving my hands and shaking my head. It was cute that he seemed so worried about missing it though.
"It's in a couple days, and it's not a big deal. I don't need anything. Really."
Deidara frowned at this. Kisame frowned at this. Everyone frowned at this.
"Izumi, for a smart girl you're really quite dumb," Sasori tutted.
"Ouch, happy birthday to me I guess," I grumbled.
He smiled softly. "You know we need to do something. What do you want?"
"How about a day without injury? That's probably asking too much though..." I mused
"Yeah, geez, pick something reasonable, Iz." Kisame chided. I scrunched my nose at him.
"Fine. How about a..." I didn't even know what I wanted. I stared at Kisame trying to rack my brain. "... a fish."
"Done." Kisame said.
"A flying fish," I amended with a raised brow.
"Easy."
"A giant flying fish," I pressed.
"Sure."
"You're just saying 'yes' no matter what," I stated the obvious.
"No way. Look at me. I have connections." He said in his cool-guy voice. It was missing the sunglasses though.
I continued to add stipulations until we ended up with a giant, blue polka-dotted, flying fish with a saddle for riding, and yes, a matching pair of triangular-lensed sunglasses.
Kisame assured me this was well within reason. I very much wanted to see him try.
"But just in case it doesn't come in on time…" Deidara said, giving Kisame a pointed look, "maybe pick something a bit more local too, yeah? Something us non-fish people without connections can manage?"
"Fine," I conceded with a pout.
At this point only the fish will do.
"Some new books, maybe...? Is that too much?" I asked hesitantly. Kisame laughed.
"Yeah Izumi, I think books are out of the question. They're just so expensive and hard to find." He said, rolling his eyes.
I didn't appreciate his sarcasm. Not one bit.
"Well I don't know! I've just been through the ones here a few times, even the one in latin. You wouldn't believe the twist ending," I said, followed up with a disbelieving whistle.
"Isn't that just a book on horticulture?" Sasori asked suspiciously.
"Um, I don't want to give spoilers and I don't think I need this type of toxicity in my life," I retorted. He met me with a small smile.
"There's that bookstore over in Jomae Village. It's close, half a day's travel." Kakuzu grumbled from the other room.
He had apparently been just inside the kitchen. I peeked my head in to see him at the table reading the paper, though my smile faltered as I noticed Itachi across from him.
These two would just sit in here silently the whole time.
Just be normal.
What the heck did that even mean? ...I would attempt it though.
"Kakuzu, are you trying to get out of a hug by hiding in here?" I asked quite sternly.
"I'm not hiding." His brows were heavy set and creasing in the middle. It didn't take much to annoy Kakuzu but I was feeling like I could keep going a bit.
"So you do want a hug, then?"
"That's not what I said."
"It's alright, you don't have to say it," I said, walking up and giving him one from behind. With him sitting we were actually around the same height so it made it easier for me to wrap myself around the grumpy, old shinobi's broad shoulders.
"I heard you re-did my bandages while I was out." I said, my chin resting casually on his shoulder. "I appreciate you."
"Were you hoping for a staph infection instead?" He said, brushing off my thanks.
"I've never had one before, are they fun?"
"No."
"Then I suppose 'no' for me as well," I said thoughtfully as I released him and took to fumbling around with his cowl. He tried to shrug me off but I didn't get the sense he was trying too too hard.
"What the hell are you doing now?" He growled.
"Your hair," I said innocently, setting the cowl in a small, neat fold on the table beside him. He sighed deeply in annoyance as my fingers went deftly to work, combing through his tangled hair and separating it into three sections at the base of his neck.
Kakuzu grumbled but ultimately remained still and seated, continuing to read the paper. We'd been through this before and I was sure he knew at that point it was for his own good.
I could feel Itachi's eyes on me as I did this and I pretended to look at something just past him to sneak a peek.
It almost came as a shock to me when his gaze wasn't filled with ire or vexation, but rather a curiosity, like he was witnessing something impressively unusual. Not dissimilar to how one might watch a lion tamer bringing a monstrous beast to calm.
He continued to watch from the corner of his eye as I ran the braid down Kakuzu's back with a hum.
"So you were saying something about books, Kakuzu?" I asked.
"Oh yeah, that one in Jomae, Izumi would love it," Kisame said with an approving nod, popping in from the other room along with the others.
"Dibs taking her," Deidara piped up.
"Couldn't we… all go?" I asked, chewing my lip. I wasn't sure if that was a reasonable request but it sounded like it could be a fun group trip.
That's a very sneaky way of making sure Itachi is invited…
No. Itachi had no interest in me and I had no interest in getting my heart stomped again. That's right, not a single part of me still wanted to just be near him.
Definitely not.
Okay let's try this one… that's a very sneaky way of making sure Hidan is invited…
Ugh. My brain was impossible.
Deidara seemed grumpy about sharing the limelight but overall people seemed to like the idea of one last hurrah before a lot of them got tied up with some missions that sounded pretty time-consuming.
Kisame assured me he would schmooze Pain to get it approved. And so it was written, official, on the books, and a bunch of other words and phrases that meant we were definitely going to Jomae village for my birthday.
I couldn't stop smiling at the thought.
People eventually began filtering out of the communal area to go train. On his way out, Itachi paused, my heart beat doing the same as his eyes fell down on me.
"I'm… It's good that you're well again," he said quietly with that sullen, charcoal gaze. It flickered to the side briefly like he was second guessing starting a dialogue at all. This was the nicest he'd been to me since the incident without a doubt, and I scolded my heart for instantly fluttering in it's cage.
Stupid girl. He's just being polite. I'm sure you recall it's his default.
My mouth decided before my brain had any input to just speak and ease the tension.
"Thanks, you too." I blurted out.
My face burned.
"You TOO"? WHY?
His head cocked just slightly, an airy look of questioning present in his features.
"I-I mean your eye! I hope your eye is okay!" I quickly followed up as I recalled it had been bleeding and actually an unresolved point of contention between us as he never quite answered to it.
"Ah… so you remember that," he said with a light sigh, "Just a little overuse, I am fine," he assured. The corners of his mouth were just the slightest bit upturned, though in a melancholic way.
"Overuse?" I asked, quirking my head.
"Yes, I… wasn't fond of the subordinate. I'm afraid I went a little overboard. But as I said, all is well. You should be more concerned with yourself."
It was difficult to talk to him without being able to touch him. It was far easier to resist that urge when I felt like he was yelling at me. But in that moment it almost felt like he cared again, same as the Itachi from before.
I thought after getting my heart broken that perhaps I would stop feeling this undeniable force yanking me towards him.
No shot. Reach out and touch that man.
I wanted to do nothing else. He wore an expression that made me want to kiss it away. It had worked before… so why not again?
Because he doesn't want you, remember?
I was getting some seriously mixed signals from both Itachi and my own internal dialogue. Okay, fine, mostly my inner dialogue...
Fine. Go touch Hidan.
Ugh. There was that too. I was in way over my head.
There had been that brief period of time when just the thought of Itachi's touch quite literally repelled me, but only because I knew it would feel too good. And that wasn't fair when I knew it only felt that way for me. But that seemed to crumble the second I pulled even the smallest, albeit crestfallen smile out of him once more.
I allowed my fingers to wring each other out, it was all I could do to just keep them occupied.
"I'm alright now, I think. A little sore, but okay…"
A bit of a delayed response but I was pleased to put one together at all.
"But um, Itachi, I just… I wanted to apologize… for not telling you about the blood. I know I should have done it sooner, I didn't realize things would... happen the way they did. I'm not trying to get you in trouble." I rubbed my arm and looked at the floor.
Glancing back up, the ghost of what barely passed as a smile to begin with had dissolved altogether and I hated it.
"No..." he said, pausing.
I desperately hoped there was more to that sentence. I breathed in relief when he picked up again.
"...I was being… unfair. I hope we can continue to work together without it being… strained. I will be better."
Right. You're just work associates now…
He seemed especially awkward, perhaps because we weren't alone, even though Kakuzu was on the other end of the room and appeared to be actively ignoring us as he read the paper and absently fiddled with the fringe of his braid.
I just stared up at him not knowing what to say. He was being careful with his words in such a way that made it obvious he was struggling.
Why, though?
Because he was feigning niceties and he was awful at lying? Had Kisame put him up to this? Maybe Pain did. He had mentioned needing to be able to work together.
Ever the professional.
Itachi's face was placid of course but the cracks showed a roiling undulation beneath. I had the urge to hug him too, him being the only person I'd seen that day that I hadn't. I resisted though.
He was making an effort to make things not weird between us and I would meet him with the same, no more, no less.
"A-alright," was all I managed to get out.
He nodded and passed by me, leaving just Kakuzu and me left. He looked very dapper in his braid.
"Didn't like the dress?" He eventually asked, not even looking up from the paper. He, like Kisame, was a coffee drinker, and he took a sip.
"What? No, of course I did. But I'm not trying to encourage theft, you know." I said with an eye roll.
"...Theft?"
"Yes. You know, when you take something without paying for it?" I explained, knowing full well that Kakuzu already understood the definition. I just didn't know what he was getting at.
"Watch it," he grumbled, denouncing my sarcasm.
"Sorry…" I said quietly with a peaking smile.
He was digging through his cloak. A moment later his hand clapped against the table and when he removed it, there was a small piece of paper beneath. A receipt for one dress. Not a cheap one either.
"He said he didn't pay for it," I said, confused as I analyzed the slip.
"He didn't," Kakuzu said, leaving me to draw the conclusion that he had.
"Aww Kaku-"
"Shut up." He ordered quickly as soon as I began to fawn over him.
"You're such a secret softie," I hummed, hanging off his shoulders once more. "Thank you."
"And you're about to see how secretly soft your voice box is when I remove it," he threatened callously before licking his finger and turning the page.
Nice. Points for creativity.
"See? A couple months ago you would have threatened to outright kill me." I pointed out. "Not to mention you might have actually done it. Progress," I said with a smile, giving a final squeeze and breaking off.
And to think only a short while ago I was such an inexperienced hugger. It had quickly become one of my favorite things, much to Kakuzu's chagrin.
He seemed to live through it just fine.
"It was Hidan's idea, I only paid for it," he said in a delayed attempt to dismiss my scandalous accussasion, but I knew what money meant to him which still made it quite the gesture.
"Okay fine. You're cold and heartless." I placated him.
He grunted in response.
I took the rest of that afternoon and evening to rest up so I would be ready for what needed to happen the next day. It would require all my energy.
The following morning had me in full on chores mode.
The guys were basically children and no one had bothered to clean up after themselves during my time "away", and I wanted to be perfectly prepared for this birthday outing.
That meant coming back to a nice clean house and having everyone's laundry all set before we left. During my thrilling mission to collect everyone's laundry, I was relieved to find Hidan was not in his room. The dress lay neatly folded atop his dresser, as if calling out to me.
Try me. Try meeee.
Maybe I had been a little harsh… even if he had stolen it, which he didn't, at least he was thinking of me? That was a slippery slope I decided to stop contemplating.
So you want him to be thinking of you, eh?
I blushed at the thought and shook my head, dismissing it. I snatched up the dress and moved to the door, shutting it quickly. As long as he didn't come in within the next minute or so, I could throw it on.
I figured I should at least see if it fit, right?
It was kind of exciting. I had never owned anything pretty in my life. It was always over-sized hand-me-downs growing up and even with the Akatsuki, it was plain clothes and cloaks.
I fumbled out of Deidara's clothes and any wrappings and began to pull on the dress as quickly as possible. That's when I heard that dreaded noise—the toilet flush. Hidan was in here, he was just in the bathroom.
Oh god. If he didn't wash his hands, he'd be in the room in mere seconds, and I didn't put it past him to not wash his hands.
Please be more hygienic than we give you credit for, Hidan.
Suddenly the dress became some sort of impossible freaking puzzle to solve.
"Shouldn't this be easier?" I hissed under my breath as I took stock of things, the dress only halfway on at that point. It didn't seem right.
The straps, why were there 4? I could have sworn there were only 2 on the hanger. And what was this, a second thinner dress sewn into the main dress? And why on freaking earth was it all bunched up?! The buttons weren't really buttons either, turns out they were clasps. And wasn't there a drawstring somewhere?
Oh dear lord.
The door clicked open and Hidan was there, stopped in his tracks staring with his mouth slightly ajar at the disaster before him.
Of note, he did not wash his hands.
A/N:
Hello lovelies 3 early update because I planned on two chapters this Sunday, so I thought why not spread them out since this one is mostly just transitional, very dialogue heavy.
I have got to say... I am enjoying seeing some of your very interesting requests and predictions XD I love it.
At this point Izumi is clearly not over Itachi but also realizing Hidan might actually have genuine feelings for her... and maybe she has some for him. It's all very confusing for the poor girl. We will see how she fares soon... :3
