I slept fitfully that night, the revelations and possibilities swarming in my thoughts and keeping me from drifting off for hours on end. When I finally conked out, I found myself in a familiar expansive chamber.
...Familiar?
Linoleum flooring, a microphone screeching with feedback, and a murmur of excitement erupting from amongst the crowd. My mind had barely caught hold of these images and sensations before I felt myself getting thrust into another location.
My vision—if I was even seeing right now—was blurry. A face came into focus, the face of a girl that I should have known by heart, yet all my body and mind could tell me was that I did know her somehow. The scene shifted. I felt slightly nauseated.
A cry of pain, and my mind shows me scraped knees. Mine.
A voice lined with laughter drifted in and out, echoey and unclear. My head throbbed with each beat of laughter the warbly tone of the voice sounded, but I couldn't tear my attention away from it all the same. I wanted it to stay, but eventually, the presence of this voice left, and I was left alone, left behind.
My vision grew dark. My head's throbbing intensified, until the pain was almost unbearable. Whoever you are, come back, I wanted to shout, but nothing came out—
"Futaba! I've been calling you for the past twenty minutes!" Imiki slammed the sliding door open, startling me out of my futon and onto the cold ground. "You'll be late for school at this rate!"
Through my blurry, half-cognizant stare, I could see behind Imiki that the apartment was brighter than it usually was when I got up for school. Within the next split second, I uncoordinatedly sprang to my feet and staggered into the living room with a wrinkled tunic I had probably worn yesterday in hand.
I shoved the shirt on. Something's off.
Upon waking up, I had a splitting headache. I felt like there was something I was forgetting—which, these days, could be from anything to everything—but the sensation was far more urgent this time. The dream felt further and further away with each slow blink.
"You're wearing your shirt backwards," Imiki pointed out exasperatedly. "Seriously, Futaba-chan, how do you survive when I'm not around to baby you? Oh, and while we're on the topic, I've got a mission to attend to this afternoon, alright?"
She continued to speak after that but I very quickly stopped registering, my eyelids drooping as I oriented my tunic so the Nagayuu crest was on my back, as it should have been. God, paranoia was not good for the sleep schedule.
The crisp coldness of the early winter air served to wake me up a little as I rushed to the academy, knapsack hanging off one shoulder.
My cheeks had began to sting from the chilly winds before I made it to the academy. The courtyards were completely silent, which was never a good sign. A ghost town-esque scenario presented itself to me—not a soul roamed the outside of the academy and all was quiet. I swallowed my apprehension as well as my leftover angst and started the walk of shame into the hallways of the academy.
When I arrived at the door to my classroom, I couldn't help but hesitate before sliding it open and stepping in.
As predicted, Hyouroku's imposing figure stood at the front of the room, thunderous voice faltering and coming to a stop when I made my sudden and probably unwelcome entrance. He fixed a chilling glower on me, a couple degrees frostier than usual—it looked like the weather wasn't the only thing cold today.
"Asagiri, care to explain why you think it acceptable to interrupt my lesson ten minutes past the bell?" I could feel the eyes of every student in the room on me, and my face warmed with humiliation.
"I overslept, sensei. I'm sorry." I bowed my head. Something told me not to cross Hyouroku today, so I kept the attitude and post-oversleep grouchiness to a minimum.
Expecting to be dismissed to my seat, I raised my head and made to walk towards the desk where Naruto was already seated. However, Hyouroku's glare was unrelenting, somehow freezing me in place.
"You value a few more minutes of sleep over an education that will make or break your future shinobi career?" he growled, voice dangerously low.
My heart thudded noisily in my chest, the panicked gallop of its beat ringing in my ears as I sputtered, at a loss. I'd never been confronted like this before—at least, not in front of the entire class, and not this severely. Hyouroku didn't like me, and that was no secret, but I was under the impression that he disliked 80% of his students with a lukewarm intensity and I wasn't particularly special in that regard.
It seemed like I was wrong after all. "N-no, sensei," I said, scarcely above a squeak. I hated the way the man's cold fury was making me cower, and I hated the way my hands were trembling at my sides even more, every muscle in my body threatening to turn into goop. Hyouroku didn't deserve my submission.
"I fail to see how someone with your atrocious work ethic and miserable attitude will ever succeed in this field, Asagiri," Hyouroku bites. "In the real world, you don't get second chances. You are so much as a millisecond late and it could cost your team the entire mission. It could cost you your team." Forced to stand and just take his reprimanding, I felt the words sink into me like solid blows. Hyouroku still wasn't done, and barked a final, "If you're not going to take my class seriously, get out of my sight. Otherwise, get to your seat."
It took some effort to unlock my knees and get my legs moving me robotically to my seat. The classroom remained silent the entire time.
As soon as I had settled in next to Naruto, who looked mildly concerned but stayed quiet for once in his student career, Hyouroku resumed his lesson.
I stared ahead, not even daring to take out my notebook or drift off, but my thoughts still wandered. I couldn't help but question what the hell was up with Hyouroku today. Examining him, he appeared to be exhausted and slightly haggard, so maybe a mission gone late—or maybe even a mission gone wrong. Whatever the reason was, it made him decide today was the day he would snap at any poor soul he believed deserved it. Now that the fear had died down some, I was livid. I'd had my fair share of shitty teachers in my (admittedly short-lived) high and middle school experience, but that didn't mean I was okay with this jackass taking out his stress on me. He was definitely out to humiliate me this time, which was something far more malicious than his usual brand of discipline. What made him dislike me so much in the first place? Surely not the fact that I was friends with Naruto? It couldn't be just that, Shikamaru and Chouji were both friends with Naruto and none of the faculty seemed to really take issue with them for it.
On the subject of Naruto…
My eyes drifted over to the blonde next to me briefly, and a spike of shame stabbed at my chest. Here I was mentally bitching about how awfully my teacher had embarrassed me when it wasn't even half of what Naruto went through on a daily basis. Hyouroku might have treated me like garbage, but he treated Naruto like he wasn't even human.
My thoughts continued to bounce about between the bitter, angry resentment I held towards Hyouroku and the utter confusion I had in regards to why he hated me in the first place. I only came to attention briefly when the class breathed a collective sigh of relief halfway to lunch—Hyouroku's class was over and another teacher was on his way.
"Hyouroku-sensei seems to be especially pissy today, 'ttebayo," Naruto remarked to me in the brief period that the classroom was teacher-less. "Sheesh! If he hates kids so much, why did he become a teacher in the first place?"
"Good question, Naruto," I droned, lacking the energy to offer a more thought-provoking response.
Feeling drained from the eventful morning and still slightly teed off, I was at an all-time low for motivation. Even as the next class started, I couldn't keep my eyes on the board. After the red-hot anger I felt towards Hyouroku finally faded into the background, my morning troubles came back to mind.
I had dreamed last night, hadn't I? My dreams were becoming more frequent now. This was definitely a good thing—even if I couldn't remember what those dreams were upon waking, at least the drug...the gallow-weed must have been wearing off.
Something occurred to me as Naruto's head continued to bob up and down with the effort of staying awake. Last time I'd had memory issues, I meditated to access my body in my other life so that I could access those memories freely. Maybe now that the blockage was letting up, I could regain my memories back in one fell swoop and finally get my footing back in this life.
Sending a silent apology to the teacher at the front of the room, a man who was nowhere near as vicious as Hyouroku but also not even half as memorable, I shut my eyes and tried to clear my brain of all the garbage littered about. Stresses, worries, unfounded fears, anxieties. Deep breath in, deep breath out.
In…
Out.
In…
Ouch!
A sudden and intense wave of pain washed over me. My head was hit with sensation of being rammed into a wall over and over and over and over again, or rather than a wall, a door, and that door was not opening, but my head continued slamming into it anyway—
I opened my eyes and all was black.
"Fuck," I mumbled. So I was still blocked from meditating. In fact, I was so blocked, I'd been blocked into literally wiping out cold in class. Hopefully nobody had noticed. Or was concerned.
I didn't even need to turn around to sense the darkly amused glint in Enma's eyes.
An unexpected visit, he drawled. In all my eras of ruling over this job, I have never seen a mortal soul attempt to think so hard that it sends itself into unconsciousness. You never cease to amaze me, mortal.
"Shut up, Enma," I tried to bark back, forgetting the honorific in my irritation, but my tongue felt heavy all of a sudden, my words starting to slur mid-sentence. I felt my thoughts grow weak before they faded away entirely, and then everything was truly black.
I woke up to the sound of general panic.
Feeling a little less groggy than I had this morning, I came to. Surveying my surroundings, I blearily wondered why so many of the seats were vacant when I realized that almost the entire class was gathered at the windows, near where I sat with Naruto. Naruto had scooched over to the window in his chair, staring at something outside with wide, interested eyes.
I scooched closer in my own chair. "What's going on?" I murmured to Naruto, my voice thick with sleep. How long had I been out for?
Naruto didn't even look over his shoulder. "There's a fight!"
Now I was wide awake. "What?" I exclaimed dumbly, pushing Naruto aside to look out the window. I could make out two figures surrounded by a crowd of spectators, and then one figure suddenly pounced on the other, prompting the crowd to gather closer to attempt to break them apart.
"Is that the Hyuuga kid in the year above us?" I overheard a classmate stage-whisper somewhere above us.
"I think the other one's an Uchiha," another one mused incredulously.
All I could see from this angle was the back of a black-haired head, but I'd recognize the back of my best friend's head anywhere. What the hell was Shuu doing in a fight with—I catch a glimpse of long brown hair and vacant white eyes from the face of the boy pinned beneath him—Hyuuga Neji?
My feet carried me of their own volition, noisily pushing my chair back and propelling me down the staircases and halls that would lead me to the courtyard.
When I finally arrived on the scene, it appeared as though the fight had already been broken up. I wasn't the only student there, kids from different years and classes clustered around where the fight had taken place, and I belatedly realized that it must be lunchtime and I had been unconscious for the entire lesson.
The boy Shuu had been fighting may have had bruises on his face marring some features, but from a closer angle, it was impossible to mistake him for anyone but Hyuuga Neji. Dread pooled in my gut as I stared unabashedly. I finally managed to rip my eyes away from him when I caught a glimpse of Shuu with a teacher gripping each arm.
It looked like Shuu got the worst of it, his left eye reddened by what would undoubtedly be a bruise later, and numerous fingertip-sized bruises all over his body.
"Shuu!" I called out, frowning. He met my eyes briefly before one of the teachers placed a hand on his head and turned him away.
"We're going to have a long chat in my office, Shuu-kun," I heard the teacher say before the two disappeared around the corner.
I was left dumbfounded, trying to figure out what could have provoked my best friend this time, what could have pushed him to the point of making a scene.
Today was another day full of questions with no answers, to my endless frustration.
The bell rang, signifying the end of lunch break, and I trudged back to class. I couldn't help but worry for Shuu. I knew how strict the Uchiha clan was about behaviour and outer appearances, but with Shuu being so closely related to the head of the clan, these standards were maintained to an even stricter degree for him.
I just hoped he was going to be alright so I could strangle him myself.
The final bell rang and I was quick to vacate the classroom, muttering a quick goodbye to Naruto, who had already made his way over to Shikamaru and Choji, and ignoring Sasuke's knowing stare.
I scanned the bustling hallway for Shuu, but my own shortness as a first year in a crowd of kids of varying ages worked against me. Just as I began to feel overwhelmed, a familiar face appeared before me. "Hinata-chan!"
Hinata blinked at me in surprise. "F-Futaba-chan!"
Hinata was a sweet girl. Completely honest to a fault, she was a great companion that had never judged me too hard for my lack of tact and whatnot. She wore her heart on her baggy silken sleeves, meaning it was as clear as day to me that Hinata was clearly very troubled by something. "Is something wrong?"
Hinata crumpled, a saddened frown forming on her face. "I-it's my cousin," she started, leaning in minutely to speak in an even more hushed tone. "He...he got into a f-fight with someone..." Realization dawned on my dumb little mind. Of course.
In my peripheral vision, I spotted a very displeased Shuu making his way through the crowd. "Here comes that someone right now," I murmured to myself. "Shuu, over here!"
Hinata followed my line of sight and promptly balked at Shuu, not-so-subtly edging behind me as he approached. As I predicted, the redness surrounding Shuu's eye had now swollen into a nasty bruise, and his elbows and knees were bandaged.
"You look pretty rough," I commented, frowning.
Shuu scoffed with malice, not even noticing the terrified Hyuuga girl peeking over my shoulder. "They said the bruises are part of the lesson I'm supposed to learn from all this or some bullshit like that."
"What happened out there?" I pressed. I couldn't help the protective friend instinct from flaring up briefly before I reassured myself that these things were usually Shuu's fault, but at the same time, Shuu had never gotten into a physical altercation with a classmate before...at least, not to my knowledge. I wasn't a big fan of the company he kept last term, before I had started attending the academy myself, but I hadn't seen Shuu hanging around them since my big blowup at him for picking on Naruto.
He scowled at nothing. "That Hyuuga bastard was acting all full of himself, what else would you expect from someone like him? He's full of shit, you know that?" I felt like I was being spoken at rather than to. I would have to talk to Shuu sometime later when he had cooled down to really get an idea of what happened. "I'm gonna get so much shit for this. The teachers want to see my parents, and the clan, they're gonna…" Shuu trailed off, fuming.
Acutely aware of how Hinata's fingers dug a little deeper into my shoulder as Shuu spoke of her cousin with barbed disdain, I tried to speak levelly, resisting the urge to poke fun at the situation like I would usually. "So you're not gonna be able to walk home with me today, then?"
"Don't count on it," Shuu grumbled. "I gotta hang around until my clan gets here. Who knows if I'll even be allowed outside after that."
I grimaced sympathetically, knowing how severe Uchiha discipline usually was. "Good luck. You're gonna tell me everything that happened later, got it?"
Shuu twitched his head in a gruff nod, and his hand went up to scratch at his jaw instinctively, eliciting a wince. He looked over my shoulder. "They're here. You should go."
Not all that keen on witnessing family drama, I ushered Hinata out of the building with me, trying not to linger too much on how my dumbass of a best friend had messed up this time.
I had another situation to defuse, anyway.
"Hey, Hinata-chan," I said. "Wanna walk with me for a bit?"
The air between us was tense. I could practically hear the questions buzzing about in Hinata's mind, but I was still struggling to come up with a way to break the silence.
It turned out that I didn't have to, for once. "I didn't know you were f-friends with...Shuu-san," came Hinata's quiet voice.
I was silent for a few moments more, my sandal connecting with a pebble in my path and sending it hurtling off somewhere. Did I side with Hinata or Shuu in this situation? It was clear that Hinata would most likely side with her cousin, but while I knew Shuu started the fight, I was fairly certain Neji wasn't blameless in this. He had to have said something to get Shuu all worked up. Shuu wouldn't just up and attack someone out of nowhere. "Yeah...sorry about your cousin. Shuu, he's not a bad person, but he can be pretty stupid."
"M-most people are," Hinata agreed softly.
"Tell me about it." I remembered how many times I caught dirty looks directed at Naruto. I remembered Shuu himself confronting the defenseless boy and shouting cruel things at him.
That's just what Shuu was. A big stupid idiot that doesn't know any better. And it felt like my responsibility to make sure he did get better because I knew he could be. I just hoped the same held true for this new incident.
"Y-you look w-worried…" Hinata broke her personal record for conversations started in one day and spoke up once more. "Shuu-san, he's...i-important to you?"
"En," I confirmed. "He's my best friend, but I can't be there for him all the time because he's in a different class, so I get worried about what's going on around him." It felt good to speak candidly about my deep-seated worries to someone my age; it was hard to make these earnest admissions to Shuu when half of our interactions were us bickering over nothing.
"To h-have someone that important to you...and feel worried all the t-time...I think I understand." I turned to look at Hinata, whose eyes remained focused on her shoes as we walked. Was that a tinge of pink I saw in her cheeks?
Deciding to probe this potential discovery further, I pressed, "You have someone like that, too?"
"Yes," Hinata replied instinctively. Not even a half second had passed before her face flushed a deep red and her eyes had snapped up to mine, frantic. "I-I-I mean! N-not that we're b-best friends l-like you and Shuu-san, I-I just see him s-sometimes, and h-he's usually alone, and I f-feel...sad."
I couldn't help the teasing grin that spread across my face then. "It sounds like somebody has a crush—"
"F-Futaba-chan!" Hinata cried with the loudest voice I'd ever heard come from her. She almost looked indignant. A giggle bubbled out of me at her twisted-up, flushed expression, the situation giving me faint deja vu.
This is just like the girl talk back home, my mind whispered.
"You're so cute, Hinata-chan," I teased. Of course, I knew exactly who she was talking about. Even without the benefit of past life knowledge, few could be oblivious to how Hinata looked at Naruto in passing, which was something I had the privilege of seeing whenever kunoichi classes were dismissed for lunch and I bade goodbye to Hinata before going to eat lunch with said blonde boy.
With a sigh, I granted the poor girl some mercy and changed the subject. "Anyways, aren't report cards coming up soon?"
"Next week," Hinata said, the pink fading in her cheeks. "I-I'm a little nervous…"
"I am too," I grumbled. "One of my teachers hates my guts, I swear. Do you have Hyouroku-sensei?" Hinata shook her head in response, and I sighed. "Lucky you. He got all pissed at me one time during a practice spar because my taijutsu style was different from what we were taught."
Hinata's brows came together slightly as she processed my words. "B-but all clans teach d-different styles of taijutsu."
Huh. "Is that so?"
She nodded. "My clan teaches the Gentle Fist, a-and though I'm not very good at it, the academy teachers don't seem to mind when m-my cousin
uses it in spars...a-at least as far as I know..."
I mulled over this new information, turning it over and over, and lo and behold, a faint niggling sensation told me that I did remember something to this effect from the series. Each clan had its signature moves and a lot of them had signature taijutsu styles. "Maybe my style isn't a recognized clan style and that's why he hates it?" I wondered. "Oh well. Who cares why he hates me, he just does. At least I know who to blame if my report card stinks." I kicked another pebble to quell the anxiety that sprung up as I gave the idea of report cards more thought.
Hinata gnawed on her lip. "Y-yeah…"
"Now you're the one that looks troubled, Hinata-chan," I pointed out.
I almost regretted being so forward when she flinched like an animal that had been struck. "I-I'm just w-worried about m-my grades," she started. I had noticed her stutter tended to act up as she got more worked up about something. In a barely audible voice, she stammered, "I-I don't want to d-disappoint my father again."
The fear of parental disappointment was a constant in every universe, it seemed. I couldn't say I was worried about what Imiki thought about my grades beyond the very real threat of more chores if I absolutely tanked. She seemed like she had bigger fish to fry these days. But I understood the pressure that came with big clan status all too well at this point, what with two of my closest friends being Uchiha and Hyuuga clan children.
Whatever I chose to say might just come across as peasant talk to someone of her status, but I smiled and patted her shoulder regardless. "I'm sure you'll be good as long as you do your best, Hinata-chan." It was all I could do for her at this point. I wasn't a professional motivational speaker by any stretch in either life.
She gave me a weak smile in thanks.
We chatted about unimportant daily grievances for the rest of the time we had before we had to part ways. With an intense gusto, I raved about Shiro's Soups, giving the place a glowing recommendation, and Hinata quietly admitted to me that she had never hung out with a friend outside of school hours before. When our conversation eventually devolved into us bemoaning overprotective and fussy parents (wherein I was doing most of the bemoaning and Hinata was mostly giggling and agreeing mildly), it struck me how normal this all felt.
These moments of normalcy with kids that were supposed to be my age could so easily convince me that this was my life, that I was meant to be Asagiri Futaba. I could forget that I was a glitch in the system with a full set of memories from a different life, some of which entailed the future of the world I was currently living in. I could forget the looming anxieties that came with the reborn-into-a-world-I'm-familiar-with status, and I could just be an everyday girl for a bit.
Who knew how long I'd have the privilege of being a regular girl for?
a lot chapters seem to start with futaba being woken up or waking up in unusual circumstances, huh?
sorry for the lack of updates this summer. i told myself i'd post a lot more during the break, but to tell the truth, i haven't been feeling all that confident in my writing lately and have been going through a sort of funk for what feels like half a year now. things in my real life have been stressful too.
as always, i'm endlessly thankful for all the support i've received on this fic even with the irregular updating schedule, thank you all so much! i can only ask for your continued patience as i put out these chapters as soon as i can…
