"Baby girl…I didn't break you, did I?" He asked with an amused expression, tugging at the belt and releasing my wrists.
I must have zoned out on him.
Despite being freed, I still just kept my arms where they were, moving wasn't something I felt like doing yet.
"Define 'break'," I murmured.
He grinned and pulled at my shoulder to flip me onto my back. He was leaning over me in an instant.
"Give me this. You're fucking insane," he murmured against my lips before capturing them.
'This' being my mouth apparently. I gladly gave it to him.
A few residual moans escaped me as he deepened the kiss. He devoured them happily.
"Where do you get off calling me insane?" I asked when we eventually broke.
Clearly it was the other way around.
"Hm, probably because you got off on me for over two fucking minutes straight. That's fucking where and that's fucking insa-."
He was speaking but I wanted him to be kissing me again.
It was incentive enough for my body to move once more. I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulled him down against me, relishing the feel of his hot chest against my own bare flesh and his lips against mine.
He hummed approvingly into it, biting my lip and sucking on it as he pulled away.
"No," I breathed out, pulling him back down, "Not yet, please..."
"Mm, so polite…" he said, before appeasing me without a fight. I couldn't get enough, sighing into him with a borderline absurd neediness.
His hands were all over me, grabbing and squeezing my hips, my breasts, my neck. That last one finally made me break the kiss with a gasping breath, his name falling off the end of it.
"Izumi…" he parrotted me as he always did when I scolded him but this time it was heady and breathless.
"Sorry, I… I've just been wanting to kiss you all day," I admitted sheepishly.
"Must be nice. I've been wanting to kiss you for a lot longer than that," he grinned.
I wasn't expecting that from him, I could only smile back and endure the fluttering feeling in my belly.
He had shifted his weight to be largely over me and I could feel his hardness struggling against his pants, poking into my leg.
"Aren't you going to… take care of that?" I asked quietly.
He snorted. "I'm trying to be a fucking gentleman about it for your damn birthday, tonight's about you, but fuck you for making it hard."
"Pun intended?" I asked.
"Oh, pun fully fucking intended, baby." He smirked, biting his lip.
God, he was gorgeous.
"What does being a gentleman have to do with it? I think you've been perfectly generous this evening."
"Mm, is that right?" He asked, coming down to bite my neck playfully.
"Mhmm… I wouldn't mind, you know. If you were… generous to yourself," I said quietly.
He propped himself over me on his elbows, brushing the bangs out of my eyes. I had to admit, it felt quite natural to be under him. It was… nice.
"Generous to myself, huh? And what exactly would that involve?" He asked, clearly trying to get me to say something that would surely sound odd coming out of my mouth.
I deadpanned. "Well, I would imagine your hand, for starters."
This had Hidan snorting out a laugh and I was just pleased to have a front row seat, he had one of those contagious laughs, and, as odd as it sounds, beautiful teeth.
"Careful with that smartass mouth of yours," he said quietly, though still with a coy edge. "Gonna fucking tempt me to put something in it."
I chuffed. "Pfft, oh yeah? Like what?" I asked, thinking that was a pretty vague and silly threat.
He was laughing again. Hard. When he finally settled down, he still looked way too amused.
"Oh, sweetheart..." he said with a residual smirk, shaking his head. Looking at me thoughtfully, he brushed a hand through my hair as he took a deep breath.
"...I am going to ruin you."
It was an odd sentence to be said so lovingly. I wouldn't deny it stirred something in me.
"Mm, I don't even know what to fucking do with you sometimes," he murmured.
"Well, you should be thinking about what you're going to do with yourself," I said teasingly, clearly feeling my oats in my post-orgasmic state, and pushing my thigh up into his erection.
He raised a brow and hummed approvingly. "You're pretty fucking insistent, hm? Starting to feel like I'll offend you if I don't…"
"Oh yes, it would be unforgivable," I agreed, gravely serious.
"Well fuck, I wouldn't want that," he said, feigning concern and rolling onto his back.
I shifted onto my side towards him and didn't even realize I was biting my lip in anticipation as I watched him stroke over the bulge through his pants. He wasted no time in pulling himself out.
I could feel myself getting worked up again at the sight of him sighing and closing his eyes as his hand wrapped around his length.
He was an impressive man.
"Um… Is there… anything I can do to help?" I asked, despite being afraid to.
He was already pumping himself when he looked over at me, halting a bit. I could tell he was at odds with himself before finally answering.
"Don't worry about me, baby girl. I can take care of it. Trust me... I won't be long."
I watched as he closed his eyes again and resumed his previous speed.
"Mm…" he was making these small little groans and biting his lip. It was hard to look away.
"I'm thinking about you, ya know…" he broke the silence, though his eyes were still closed and he didn't lose pace.
"W-what?" I asked quietly.
"Thinking about bending you over this fucking bed, spreading those little legs open…mm the way they shake when you fucking want it..."
He was stroking himself even faster.
"Lining this cock up, rubbing it against your clit first just to tease you. I wouldn't put it in right away. No, sweetheart, I'd wait until you were fucking begging for it."
I found my breath audibly catching in my throat just listening to him. Part of me felt like begging for it right then.
"Forcing this cock into your pink little pussy… God is it fucking tight… ugh, and this cock is a big one, baby girl, I don't know how it's even going to fit… I have a feeling I'm gonna have to make it fucking fit, sweetheart." His voice was low and increasingly breathy as he continued to work himself over.
His brows knitted even more tightly as he imagined it. "Oh, but you'll fucking take me, you'll take all of me, baby. I know you're a good girl."
"Hidan..." I breathed. I felt like I was just an audience member to his inner dialogue. It was a lot more interesting than mine, that's for sure.
"Mm, baby I love when you say my fucking name." He squeezed himself harder and bit his lip.
"Please, let me help…" I pleaded.
He cracked an eye open to look at me. "So fucking polite with the 'please'… you really are a good girl. You sure you want to help, sweetheart?"
"Mhm," I whined.
"Fuck it then, give me your hand," he said, suddenly stopping the hurried frenzy of his right hand.
"Look at this tiny fucking thing," he said, taking my hand into his. His hands were huge comparatively and I'd always thought they were rather nice to look at, as far as hands go.
"Goddamn, I wonder if you'll even be able to touch your fucking fingers together when you grab me..." he mused, clearly not thinking I could. He seemed to like the thought of this.
He was leading my hand over to find out. I found myself breathing heavily, nervous beyond belief, having never touched a man before. Not like this.
"Go ahead, baby girl," he said, letting go of my hand and staring down at himself expectantly.
I glanced at him, uncertain. It was like there was a wall of nervousness freezing me in place.
"Just wrap those little fingers around my cock, sweetheart, that's it. I'll take care of the rest," he assured, eyebrows knitted like the anticipation was physically paining him.
Seeing him like that, seeing that he wanted it so bad, that I had something I could give him to ease the building tension… it was a strangely delightful, powerful feeling.
I swallowed and nodded. After a deep breath, I mustered the courage.
His hips pushed up as soon as my fingers closed around it and I could feel the hot throb of it twitching in my grip.
I let out a small, breathy noise, not just at the feel of him but at the sound hemade. It sounded like it came from his chest, it was such a deep thrum.
"Holy shit, baby," he said, his hand coming to grip atop mine.
Hidan was correct in his assumption that my fingers may not even be able to touch each other.
"Oh fuck, I'm so close already... you got me so fucking hard from playing with that fucking pussy of yours, sweetheart… Couldn't stop imagining my fucking cock buried in it."
I couldn't help but begin to breathe a little more heavily just listening to him. He was vulgar and outright deviant, but he was just so confident in all of it, it sent a wave of heat to tighten between my legs.
"God… the way you came all over my hand baby girl… that was… oh fuck…"
He bit his lip and began stroking faster but also more erratically, my hand still beneath his. I watched in awe as his face moved and contorted, biting lip, furrowing brow.
"Mm, squeeze it tight baby, I'm about to fucking come," he said through his teeth, voice strained.
I squeezed harder.
"Fuck, baby girl… make me come," he gritted out. "Be my good girl, make me come, sweetheart…God… fuck…"
Our pace quickened and his hand squeezed around mine even tighter as the most intoxicating noises came out of him. I watched the muscles in his stomach twitch and contract as the discordant streams of white liquid shot onto them.
A string of cussing mixed with pet names ground out of him as he came and I lost my breath at the sight.
I felt compelled to press my body against his side, using my free hand to comb through his hair. As soon as he realized I had shifted to be against him, his left arm wrapped around to pull me there even tighter.
He took a moment to catch his breath before releasing my hand. He had me keep it around him for a moment though, just to admire the fact that I couldn't fully grip him. He seemed to enjoy that quite a bit.
Just what his ego needed...
He cleaned himself up with his boxers and threw them on the floor before rolling on his side to face me. He bumped his forehead against mine and raked his fingers from the nape of my neck up through my hair, grasping it tightly at the back of my head to hold me in place there.
He breathed in deeply and exhaled, thick with relief. His eyes were closed.
"God… you make everything so quiet…" he murmured.
The way he said it made me think that was a good thing. Hidan said all sorts of odd things to me, but this one had me the most perplexed.
"What do you mean?"
"Hm? Oh... don't worry about it. Fuck, I'm just talking nonsense," he muttered. His grip was getting looser and I could hear the sleep in his voice.
That was quick.
"Hidan?" I asked quietly.
"Hm?"
I was nervous to ask, that nagging fear of rejection eating at me despite the man holding onto me like I was his only source of oxygen.
"A-are you… will you stay?"
"Stay the night? With you? In this tiny, sorry excuse for a damn bed? Hmm, let me think about it, fucking yes."
I smiled and draped my arm around him, lightly caressing and scratching at his back. He made a satisfied, sleepy noise that made me think he liked it. His hand was no longer gripping my hair at all, but rather just laying loosely entangled in my messy locks.
The way he was breathing led me to believe he was either asleep or almost there. I only had a small window to ask one more nagging question.
"Hidan…?"
He grunted.
"You won't leave…?" I felt clingy, but I had to ask.
"Mm mm… fucking stuck with me…" he grumbled.
He was actually adorable when he was sleepy. I inched my body down to lay my head against his chest. His arm seemed to automatically fall down to my back and pull me securely against him.
God, it was like he was made of warmth. I supposed it was too late to put a shirt on.
"Mm… so quiet…" he said, barely intelligible.
I wasn't far behind him, my lids lulling against his radiating heat.
Despite being wrapped around Hidan with his arm protectively draped over me in the real world, these things seemed to offer no protection from the violent sleep that plagued me. I tried desperately to take control and enter a lucid state, but it seemed impossible.
My mom was there again and I'd been so happy to see her at first until I noticed her eyes were missing. Just empty gaping holes staring back at me. She was trying to pass me a handful of bones.
It went on for far too long.
I awoke with a start, jolting upright and clutching at the blankets. My heart rate seemed like it was trying to outdo my quickened breaths.
"Hidan…" I whispered.
There was no answer.
The lantern light had gone out and the room was pitch black. I felt cold.
I pulled the blanket up over my chest and reached out to my sides, catching nothing but air and stillness.
I grabbed at my own body and stomach which felt like it turned to lead and dropped through me. I had hoped to find Hidan's hand holding me against him from behind, but I should have known from my full-body chill that I wouldn't find such a thing.
He wasn't there and he hadn't been for a while.
Deja vu.
I felt the bed all around me. It was a small bed, we had been squished together on it to begin with. I would have known if he were next to me without even feeling.
But some irrational part of me still needed to check. I was patting the blankets frantically on each side of me, my breathing shallowing the more I searched without success.
Just me. No Hidan.
Not again.
It was amazing how quickly the tears came. I clutched at myself, holding on by the shoulders as I rocked for a moment, absorbing my fears playing out in real-time.
"Why this again…What's wrong with me?" I cried quietly to myself, the pit in my stomach feeling like it was growing large enough to suck me in.
I hated the way the strained sob I'd been holding back leaked out of me. I felt so pathetic.
"Hmm… Baby?" Hidan's groggy voice startled me. It sounded like it came from… the floor?
"Hidan?" I squeezed out, my voice tight and shaky.
Before I could tell him not to, the lantern was lit again from his crouched position on the floor. I clutched the blanket against my chest.
He looked up at me, absolutely bewildered.
"The fuck? What's wrong?" Hidan asked, quickly standing over the bed and taking my face in his hands. I let my head fall forward to hide my stupid face. My hands wrapped around his wrists and I let out a shaking, catching sigh of relief.
"Hey, talk to me," he said, partially coated in sleep and confusion.
I let my forehead hit against his torso, breathing in and out sporadically.
"I thought you left…" I said weakly through tears.
"Wh-what? Why the fuck would I do that?" He asked incredulously, pulling my head tight against him, smoothing my hair down. "I fucking told you I'd stay, didn't I?"
"I don't know…" I said. That was a lie.
Hidan was silent for a moment.
"I'm serious, Izumi... Where the fuck is all this coming from? Did you think I was fucking lying?"
I shook my head with a helpless shrug. I didn't want to get into it, I knew I couldn't explain it without bringing up what happened with Itachi and I didn't want to do that.
"You thought I was sick of you already earlier, now you thought I'd leave you in the middle of the night?"
He paused and winced like he'd heard a loud noise, but the room was silent.
When he spoke again, there was a certain twinge of pain in his voice that ate at me. It sounded so foreign coming from him, but at the same time, not at all because hurt on him sounded very much like anger, and I'd certainly heard that before.
I suppose I just wasn't used to it anymore.
"Is that... really what you fucking think of me? Is this the low bar you've set for me in your head?"
His arms fell away from me and he stepped back, staring down at me through a mask of frustration.
I had hurt him. And from the sound of it, badly. I hadn't considered that he'd take my irrational fears on a personal level.
"No... no, it's not that," I assured him, reaching out and trying to pull him back onto the bed.
He didn't come. He winced again and yanked out of my grip, crossing his arms, continuing to regard me.
"No. Not until you fucking tell me what's going on with you. I'm not doing this shit."
Geez, didn't take you long to screw this one up.
I couldn't seem to stop screwing things up. At least I knew what I did this time.
The sternness set in his tone and face made me want to shrink into myself, feeling disgustingly shameful. I had never intended for my own insecurities to come off as a reflection of him.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered through my fingers, my shoulders beginning to shake again. My hands slid up to cover the rest of my face. I could feel the hyper-ventilation starting to set in.
Why are you like this?
I'd made him upset, actually hurt his feelings. It was written all over his face.
Feelings. He had feelings and I knew that.
How could I assume he was immune to this? I had felt bad that people thought of Hidan as just, well, Hidan, this impenetrable fortress, an asshole that didn't feel, but I was guilty too apparently.
He'd been nothing but overwhelmingly sweet and kind to me as of late and he didn't deserve to take on my baggage as his own with no explanation. I felt so horrified with myself and wanted to stop crying.
Wanted to, but couldn't. I wasn't the victim there and I didn't want to pretend to be. I just couldn't stop it.
"God… Izumi… I fucking... I hate seeing you like this. Just tell me what's wrong so I can fucking fix it. What did I fucking do wrong? What do you fucking need from me to prove to you that I'm not just some piece of shit?" He slipped in and out of frustration and pleading tones but ultimately ended at infuriation once more.
I noticed he had dropped the pet names.
"I'll be fucking real with you, Izumi, I don't know what more I can fucking do. Seems like no matter what, I'm just gonna be a fuck up to you. I am to everyone else, and fuck if I care about that, but I thought you were different."
His anger was becoming frenzied and I wondered if he'd even be able to listen if I found the ability to communicate properly.
"Th-that's not it! It's… it's com-... complicated…" I said, crying into my hands, feeling like I couldn't even think under the fire of his words.
My palms were clammy and my fingers numb. Breathing was difficult.
I recognized it as a panic attack, the kind Hidan had originally shown me how to get through. He wasn't helping at the moment, however, nor did I feel particularly entitled to his assistance.
"I'm not a fucking idiot, despite what people think. I'm sure I can keep up if you gave me a fucking chance," Hidan spat.
"It's not you!" I cried.
"Then who, Izumi?! Let me fucking guess, the classic 'it's not you, it's me'?! " Hidan boomed. His mouth was stretched taut into a thin line and his nostrils flared as he waited impatiently for an actual explanation.
I flinched. I wasn't used to this look from him, not anymore, not even close.
"Hidan I'm s-sorry… Please s-stop yelling…I c-can't even think," I pleaded through my tears so quietly and unintelligibly I wasn't even sure if he heard me. I sounded pathetic but I didn't even care anymore, I just needed for him to stop for a second.
"Come on, Izumi. You thought I'd be a piece of shit, is this shitty enough for you?" he yelled.
I choked on a sob, desperate to make him understand but his continued shouting was causing my thoughts to scatter further and further.
"No… I didn't think that, I-I don't think that!" I cried desperately.
His skin had taken on a thin sheen of sweat, very much like how he looked when he'd first shown up. The vein in his forehead bulged.
"Then why the fuck do you keep expecting me to fuck up?! Is it because I'm not him?" He bellowed, seething.
Him?
He rushed into another furious question and I tried to keep track of them in my chaotic head.
"Hm? You know, I'm actually fucking trying here," he laughed without humor, "and I'll still never stack up to that fucking 'nice guy' Uchiha. Is that it?"
So that was it.
So even Hidan could feel insecure.
"He wasn't nice!" I cried, twisting my fingers into the sheets. Hidan paused his barrage to stare at me.
He blinked.
"He was… he was not nice. Okay?" I said, defeated, punctuated with another pitiful sob before trying to continue on.
"It's not that you can't compare… it's that I'm worried you will. I'm worried you..." I breathed in shakily, "...you won't want me once you have me...," I paused to choke down the lump in my throat, "I… I'm so sorry… I never wanted to burden you with this…"
Hidan's voice was low and dangerous. His mask of anger was not dissolving like I'd hoped for.
"Izumi… what'd he fucking do?"
I made a pained noise, struggling to find the words. I had a terrible penchant for bottling things up when I was the only victim of the side effects, but I didn't have that luxury now.
"He just… he just left… in the middle of the night." I threw an arm up in the air just to come slapping back down onto my thigh. I stared at the ceiling, unable to make eye contact with Hidan.
"I stayed over… it was my first t-time…I thought he, I don't k-know… I thought he cared about m-me..."
I was so ungodly uncomfortable talking about it. I had no choice but to power through it, choking back my pain.
"But after… h-he said he didn't want me anymore... a-and I was just so scared that I wasn't… that I wouldn't be good enough for y-you either."
No better way to get a guy than to talk about your last lay, am I right?
"I'm s-sorry, it's really not you, Hidan…I just… I didn't expect it then either, so now I-I… I'm scared all the time… I'm so sorry. You're the last person I want to h-hurt…"
I was breaking down horribly and wiping at my face frantically, my eyes and nose leaking like faucets as I tried to explain through all my shaking and crying and hiccuping.
No way would he want me now, but at least he would know it had nothing to do with him...
I dared to look up at him, eyes all red and glossy.
It was an odd expression he wore, something in between rage and pity. I didn't really want his pity, I just didn't want him to think I thought poorly of him.
"I'm so sorry, Hidan…p-please don't yell at me anymore…" I pleaded again, eyes downcast, gripping my shoulders and shaking my head, in disbelief of how badly I had let that escalate.
Hidan dragged an arm across his forehead as he stared down at me, wiping the sweat and digesting what I'd told him. After a moment, his face suddenly dropped. It was like a veil lifted and the anger that had glazed over his eyes dissipated all at once.
"Oh, fuck… oh, sweetheart… I'm an asshole. I'm a fucking asshole. God, come here, come here," he said, his voice steeped in regretful tones all of a sudden, his brows tying together as he climbed into bed and pulled me onto his lap.
I froze up at first, not having recovered from his explosiveness yet.
"No… no, baby, don't be afraid of me… not me," he sounded appalled by the idea, "I didn't know, baby girl. I didn't fucking know, I'm a fucking asshole," he murmured with his chin atop my head, rocking me.
His comfort was not soft or tender, it was fierce and biting and desperate. My back actually cracked as his arms wrapped and flexed around me. He must have heard it because he loosened a bit.
The tension released from me in a wave as I sighed into the feeling of his hand rubbing up and down my back as he held me there.
I grabbed at his back to keep myself there against him.
"There you go, calm down. I got you. You gotta fucking breathe, okay? Breathe with me, sweetheart."
I could do that. I finally felt like I was settling down as I focused on his chest expanding and decompressing.
"You're not... mad at me anymore?" I asked weakly, reigning in my sniffles.
"God… no, no sweetheart. I didn't mean to fucking yell at you like that, baby. I swear I didn't. It just..." he made a straining noise deep in his throat, "...it just got loud for a second… that wasn't me. I don't want to make you fucking cry, baby girl…" He continued rocking me just slightly.
I nodded my head against him and tried to catch my breath, not fully understanding everything he said but feeling comfort from his words regardless.
"I'm right here. I'm not fucking going anywhere, I promise," he assured into my hair, kissing the top of my head.
"You're not?" I asked, just wanting to hear it one more time.
He stretched out, laying on his side, rearranging me to press against him, caged safely in his arms.
"I just got you. I just fucking got you, baby girl. What kind of stupid fucking asshole gives this up?"
Itachi.
We must have both thought it because the next thing out of Hidan's mouth was undoubtedly about him.
"I'll fucking kill him."
"That's a bit extreme..." I discouraged.
"Have you met me?"
Touché.
"Why don't you settle for polite silence around each other?"
"Izumi, I need to make sure I have this straight..."
Ugh, I hated when he'd summarize my words into his own blunt terms. It always sounded so much worse like that.
"You're telling me Uchiha fucked you, knew you were a fucking virgin, and then just fucking kicked you out?"
I cringed.
"I mean, not exactly..."
"Then what, exactly?"
I groaned at the thought of needing to explain further. He waited impatiently.
"He was kind, that night... He let me fall asleep there, but… I woke up on the couch. He must have moved me. I thought maybe he was just being… shy about it? Didn't want to let on, you know?"
My voice was tight as I recalled the recent memory. Hidan regarded me with a furrowed brow.
"Are… you sure you really want to hear about this?" I asked, thinking how it might be uncomfortable for him.
"You bet your fucking ass I do. All I ever hear about is how great that little prick is. Lay it on me, sweetheart."
Even through my tears I couldn't help but give him a little sideways smile.
"Well then you'll love this," I mumbled. "I was supposed to see him the next morning but he didn't show up. I had to find him and he… it was like he didn't even have time for me. We spoke about it twice and between them he told me that… it didn't mean anything to him and that I wasn't… any good at it."
"He fucking said what?"
"I think that's what he meant, anyway… he said I..."
That lump was back. I swallowed it.
"God, I can't even say it… he said it was a... 'a cute attempt'..." I managed to get out, wiping the tears leaking from the corners of my eyes. It was beyond embarrassing to recall.
Guess Hidan knows what he has to look forward to now.
Hidan made a disgusted noise and squeezed me tighter. "For fuck's sake… no wonder you're so fucking timid."
He looked down at me, grabbing my chin. "Hey. You know that's fucked, right? You could just fucking lay there and I would have the time of my life. I could fuck your corpse and be thrilled."
"Oh my God, Hidan!" I cried with an incredulous, horrified laugh.
"What? It's not like I'd wait for it to get cold or anything," he said, grinning.
"You're unbelievable."
"Relax, I'm just kidding… I'd totally fuck it cold."
"Hidan!"
He amused himself to no end. He amused me to no end too, but I couldn't possibly let him know that. I wasn't sure how he did it, I could go from crying to laughing with him in a matter of seconds.
"Yeah so, to be serious for a second though, as much as it fucking pains me…I won't pretend I'm not chuffed as hell that he fucked up because it's the whole reason I'm the one in your bed grabbing your ass right now."
"You're not grabbing my ass…" I pointed out flatly.
"Mm, good point. I thought you'd never ask."
He grabbed my ass and I attempted to scold him without success.
"Like I was saying… I'm glad the asshole showed his true colors, but... God, I hate how it fucked with your head, sweetheart." He murmured against my forehead before planting a kiss.
"I'm okay, Hidan," I said softly, petting my hands across his chest.
"Shut the fuck up with that, you're not," he blurted out, exasperated.
He went on. "I woke up to you fucking sobbing in the middle of the night because you thought I abandoned you since some prick got it in your head that you're not fucking good enough, when you're actually better than all of us combined. Fuck that. Fuck that guy."
"Hidan…" I whispered, not really sure what to say. It was kind of cute that he felt so protective of me, even if I didn't feel the same anger towards Itachi.
"Hey, look at me," he said, pulling back to grab my chin. "You're not okay, sweetheart. You don't fucking need to be okay. I need you to scrub that shit out of your brain. I'm here, either fucking way."
I almost started crying again from how sweet he was in his own way.
He wasn't done. "And just so you know, after hearing all that, 'polite silence' isn't gonna fucking cut it."
He looked scary angry. It wasn't his usual kind that was bold and shouting and unmistakable. No, this was something else. It was beneath the surface, I could see gears turning.
"Please Hidan, don't do anything. Don't say anything. I don't want there to be any fighting. Itachi and I just got to a place that is kind of... okay. Professional."
"Ugh, your fucking pacifist tendencies are really killing my vibe… fine. I won't kill him, how about that?"
That was the best I was going to get. I sighed. He sighed too.
"You should go back to bed, sweetheart. Got a big day ahead of you." He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.
"Okay… Um, Hidan?"
"Hm?"
"Why were you on the floor?"
He snorted.
"You fucking kicked me off. Like, literally."
"No, no way," I said, incredulous. It had to be one of his tall tales.
"I'm serious. I don't know what you were fighting in your dreams there, sweetheart, but I was getting my fucking ass kicked."
"Oh my God, that's horrible! You should have woken me up!" I cried.
"Nah, didn't wanna do that," he said casually with a sniff.
"You have your own bed, you didn't have to sleep on the floor. You could have just told me." I persisted.
"Nah, didn't wanna leave you."
I kissed him. There was no other option. He was just too much, my heart felt like it was going to burst if I didn't just kiss him.
After several promises that I wouldn't vault him off the bed, we drifted off again. I wasn't entirely sure I should be making such assurances, but I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in his arms, so it was a necessary fib. It had been a long, emotional night.
The nightmares did not return, thank goodness.
Not only that, but Hidan was there when I awoke. He was the opposite of me, large and sprawled out across the too-small bed, whereas I was tucked against his side, small and compact with my cheek on his chest and my leg over his thigh.
Now that I'd rested and fallen out of the heat of the moment, I felt a flash of embarrassment at my topless state. On the other hand though, I couldn't put into words how nice the skin on skin contact felt, his arm and hand were exceptionally warm draped over me, loosely holding me against him.
I tilted my head back to look up at him. His mouth hung ajar, small tranquil breaths passing through his lips. His hair was a little ruffled, it was cute the way the messy locks fell across his forehead.
I took more than a moment to admire him like this. He looked so peaceful which was not a word I would typically use to describe Hidan.
"There something on my face?" he suddenly grumbled, cracking an eye open to look down at me.
I flashed red and let out a quick 'no' with the shake of my head.
"Hm, then what the fuck are you looking at, if you don't mind me asking?" he teased.
"I just… like the way you look," I admitted awkwardly.
He smirked. As if he needed the confidence boost. But it was the truth. I had decided I needed to learn from Hidan and be more up front with my thoughts. Maybe not as up front, but bottling didn't lead to anything good.
"What a coincidence," he said, brushing my cheek with his thumb, "I like the way I look too."
I snorted. I should have seen that one coming.
"You're an ass," I said, though I couldn't conceal my smile.
He grinned. "Practicing your curse words, sweetheart?"
"Just on you," I said.
"Mm, lucky me," he said, squeezing me against him and planting a kiss into my hair.
"Thanks for staying…" I said quietly, pulling myself into him even more.
"You're fucking thanking me for taking you up on the opportunity to wake up to your tits pressed against me? Yeah, um, sure, you're fucking welcome?" he said with a disbelieving laugh.
"I don't think that's how I phrased the offer, Hidan," I scolded.
"What can I say, I like to read between the legs." He winked.
"You mean 'between the 'lines'," I corrected.
"Yeah, yeah, what'd I say?" he retorted knowingly.
I couldn't help but smile and shake my head.
"There's that smile…" he said, brushing my cheek again, this time without the bonus sarcasm.
"Hey Hidan…?" my smile fell a bit as I contemplated the best way to ask this. "...How is this going to work? Like… in front of everyone else?" I asked nervously.
"How do you want it to work?"
Ugh, he can never just give me an answer.
"I just… I want to avoid drama, at least for today. You know?" I said, overly worried I would put him off if I didn't want to be publicly couply yet. I didn't know how any of it worked but I also knew I would get comments and looks and I just wanted today to be easy.
He feigned looking aghast. "Me? Cause drama? Izumi, baby, I am fucking offended."
I sighed and gave him a look that said I was being serious.
"Alright, alright. Fuck, I'm gonna have a hard time keeping my hands off you though. But it's cool, it's cool. We're not 'official', I get it. I'm fucking patient. I can fucking wait."
He sounded so sure of something that was almost definitely not true.
"Patient?" I called him out.
"More patient than you," he refuted. My jaw dropped at the audacity.
Oh, heck no.
"Excuse me?"
He rolled his body over me, propping himself on either side with his elbows. "If I recall correctly, and I fucking do, it was you making all sorts of whiny little impatient noises last night."
My mouth just hung open. I couldn't believe he was using that as an example so brazenly. I couldn't even form a retort, my brain and face had become so overheated.
He was smirking, clearly enjoying my lack of response.
"That's right, looks like you remember it well, baby girl. Must be tough to think of a snappy comeback when you know you were doing all you could to rub your hot little pussy against my fingers last night... but they just were not being kind, were they?" he asked with darkening eyes.
He was messing with me. He knew I couldn't respond to stuff like this. I wanted to prove him wrong.
"No, they really weren't," I said as coolly as I could. He cocked his head, smirk growing. That wasn't what he expected.
"Mm… they were just trying to figure out what you liked, sweetheart. What should they have done differently?" he asked, shifting to one side, his hand snaking down my pants and resting there, gently tapping against me in waiting.
I felt my lids become heavy almost instantly as I took in a hitching breath.
Just then a blaring, ringing noise startled me, and Hidan cursed it to hell. I had heard the noise before, but not often. It was used to round up all of the Akatsuki for meetings and such and it ran through the entire complex.
"Fucking hell… guess that's my cue," Hidan groaned. "We'll have to pick this back up later, baby girl," he said, grabbing me roughly between the legs as his lips powered against mine in a kiss that was supposed to last him all day, and boy could I tell he was trying to make it last.
He finally broke away and got up from the bed. He kicked his boxers underneath it. I mentally noted this, I'd have to remember that when I did laundry. He was very obviously halfway hard through his pants but they didn't seem to bother him as he left, tossing a wink in my direction.
An Aside Featuring "the guys" Kisame, Itachi, Hidan, Kakuzu, Deidara and Sasori
Kisame slowly paced back and forth in front of the men who were lined up before him; Itachi, Sasori, Deidara, Kakuzu, and Hidan. His hands were folded together behind his back, his posture rigid, chest puffed out.
"Alright gentlemen, listen up, I'm gonna need all of you to use what little attention spans you have right now because this is important. Today is the day. Izumi's birthday," Kisame barked.
"Kisame, is all of this really necessary…?" Itachi interjected quietly, gesturing to their odd militaristic setup to go over birthday plans. Perhaps taking offense to the attention span jab. His attention span was probably the best of everyone's. He would dare to call it immaculate.
"Of course it is! Now pay attention, Uchiha."
Itachi glowered at Kisame which was only a few degrees from nonchalant for him. Kisame smirked but snapped back into his spiel.
"Pain has… apprehensively agreed to give us the day off for this occasion. Though, there were a few conditions I needed to agree to in order to push it through to green light…"
Sasori was getting impatient. "Get on with it, Kisame, we don't have all day."
Kakuzu grunted in agreement.
"Hey. I believe I requested attention spans, no?" Kisame chastised, shaking his head. "Anyway, for today, while we travel and while in the village, we will not be the Akatsuki. We will be… tourists."
"The fuck does that even mean?" Hidan sneered, folding his arms.
"Well, what that means in general is being incognito. Tourist apparel is to be worn at all times, no obvious chakra use, no visible weapons, certainly no Akatsuki paraphernalia or branded items showing. I know we just got those cute little red cloud keychains, you keep that shit at home." Kisame paused to eye the group, making sure everyone looked to have an understanding.
His eyes trained on Hidan, specifically. "What that means for you specifically is a whooole nother bag of dicks. No murdering, no random howling with laughter, no rituals, no talking about Jashin, no grabbing your junk-"
"Okay, shit, I fucking get it you old fuck," Hidan cut him off with a hearty roll of his eyes.
Kisame scoffed, "I fucking hope so for Izumi's sake." He began tossing balled up articles of clothing at the men as he went down the line.
"I didn't have time for fashion, I was on a tight schedule and just tried to find things that fit," he said in a way that was likely meant to be apologetic but he didn't seem too sorry.
"The hell?" Deidara questioned, unravelling something that looked like a Hawaiian shirt.
Kisame tried to hide his amusement, though not well.
He finished handing out the clothes. "That's right. We're all gonna be nobodies with poor fashion sense. Considering we all basically only have one outfit that we repeatedly wear, this probably isn't far from the actual truth."
Deidara's grimace did not falter. "Where'd you even find this shit?" he asked sourly.
"Honestly, I don't really know. There was a box labelled 'AU' filled with these old clothes in the storage unit. We just gotta work with what we've got, ladies," Kisame said with a shrug.
"I have to wear a fucking shirt?" Hidan balked. "A fucking…what even is this, a polo?!"
"That's right," Kisame said casually with a sniff, "and you should probably pop the collar to let people know you're a douchebag since your usual ways are banned."
Hidan began spewing threats before Deidara interrupted.
"Why the hell does Uchiha get a nice button-up?!" Deidara fumed as he stood there donning the clearly used, wrinkled red Hawaiian shirt adorned with illustrative palm leaves.
Itachi stood there looking uncomfortable as he buttoned up the shirt and straightened out the sleeves. He did look quite presentable, especially compared to the rest of the crew.
"Listen, guys, we can all get some yukatas or whatever when we get into town, this was all I could get my hands on at such short notice. It was fucking random, alright?" Kisame explained with an exhausted sigh.
Yes, definitely random. Perfectly by chance.
Hidan looked at Itachi and then to Deidara in a rare moment of non-aggression between the two, "Eh, I wouldn't worry about it, Deidara. He still looks like a fucking prick to me."
Deidara snorted out a laugh and glanced over at Itachi who was actively Ignoring Hidan, but anyone looking for the telltale signs of irritation would find them. Clenched jaw, eyes unblinking, focused on his breathing.
Hidan noticed and Hidan enjoyed it. In fact, he wanted more.
He almost pushed it, he had a thousand much more pointed and grating comments he could make. The thought of Itachi having his way with Izumi and then leaving her to shatter was setting his own jaw the clench.
He wanted to fuck with him bad.
But Izumi didn't want drama that day, and anything more to come out of his mouth would absolutely start a shit show. He bit his tongue when it came to Itachi in favor of teasing Kakuzu who stood there looking absurd in an oversized fair isle reindeer and snowflake patterned sweater.
"Shit, Kakuzu. You know, that sweater really brings out your festive eyes." Hidan said, a bit too cheery.
Kakuzu scoffed and itched his arms. "Don't make me fucking kill you in front of Izumi."
Kisame appraised Kakuzu and added his two cents. "Oh I don't know, a little splash of red might be a good accent."
Deidara chimed in, "Probably not great for incognito thou-" He paused abruptly, taking notice of Sasori next to him for the first time since their change of clothes.
"... Sasori, my man… what the fuck do you have on?"
Sasori deadpanned. "Luckily I don't have bodily functions… this seems less than convenient," He said dully, looking down at his floral romper.
"Oh, whoops. That was actually for Izumi," Kisame said with a laugh, scratching his head. "Ah, fuck it. It looks fine on you and she's got that dress."
Sasori sighed deeply.
"What about you? Aren't you gonna look like a dumbass tourist?" Deidara questioned suspiciously.
"Oh yeah, shit I almost forgot," he said, rummaging through a separate bag. Him and Itachi looked like wardrobe twins once he managed to don the outfit, both looking very sharp and sleek.
He put a pair of sunglasses on and shot Deidara with some finger guns.
Hidan's forehead vein was practically bulging out of the skin. "What the fuck, you said it was random! You have that and I have a fucking polo and fucking jorts you dickweed!" He bellowed.
"My guy, looking this good is never random," Kisame said with a grin, totally ignoring the large majority of Hidan's outburst.
Others jumped in and the bickering quickly became a loud cacophony of whiny men ranging from Itachi quietly muttering to himself about how uncomfortable the collar was around his neck to Deidara and Hidan full on howling about their fashion misfortune.
Kisame shouted over everyone, "Settle down children, if you want Izumi to be happy you'll fucking get over it."
And that seemed to be the thing that put everyone in line.
Kisame stared in astonishment. "Holy shit, that actually worked…" he grumbled before clapping his enormous hands once. "Alright, I'll go get the little bugger and we'll head out. Deidara, you have transport lined up, right?"
"Tch, of course I do," he mumbled, annoyed and inspecting what appeared to be a miscellaneous stain on his sleeve.
Kisame disappeared down the hallway leaving the men to compare and contrast their involuntary fashion of the day.
Sasori ended up being quite pleased to find pockets in his romper.
A/N:
Okay, I officially apologize for the Hidan dump. I have no concept of pacing, I just write exactly and literally what I imagine happening which apparently results in 3 full chapters of Izumi x Hidan lmaooo fuck me
BUT
We movin' on. We goin' on a trip. Get your bags packed, y'all.
Thanks for all the love, loves. I love guest reviews because I can't tell if one very devoted person has had a lot to say or a lot of different people have opinions but either way, it's appreciated :3
