#025 – Pikachu
The Legendary Super Mascot
The sales figures for this quarter were looking good as gold for The Pokémon Company. Merchandise was flying off the shelves in every important country and the latest pair of games, though lazily thrown together, were selling millions of copies as usual. As Pikachu walked with a confident swagger to the break room, Audino showed him sales figures on a clipboard and gave her congratulations.
"Mr. Pikachu, your hard work always pays off, just look here!"
"Well, it ain't easy bein' the cutest mouse around with billions of fans waiting for your autograph, AND keepin' this place propped up near single-handed. But well, I always try, darlin'." Pikachu winked at Audino with an air of pure smugness. Pikachu's words turned Audino's heart to pudding. She retreated back to her office.
Pikachu found a cake in the break room, a gift for him and only him. He was ready to cut away a piece when a snivelling sneasel burst into the room.
"Pikachu, bad news!"
"Eh, what's yer problemo?"
"That guy's showed up again. The one they call 'The Mouse'." Sneasel whimpered. Pikachu stomped right over to Sneasel and prodded his nose.
"Who? WHO? I'm 'The Mouse', nobody else! Get outta my sight!"
Sneasel scurried away, fearing that he may have just lost his job.
"Ah guess the cake'll have to wait." Pikachu snarled. "It's time to greet the visitor."
Pikachu marched out to the front gate of The Pokémon Company's headquarters. Beyond the gate, an old enemy leaned against a black SUV, his arms folded. His trademark perfectly-circular ears quivered when they sensed Pikachu approaching. He snapped his fingers, and a bunch of storm troopers clambered out of the SUV and formed a line behind their boss.
"Mickey, long time no see eh? And here I was, thinking you had gone the way of the dinosaurs." Pikachu's cheeks began to spark.
"Hu-huh! We're only getting started. I'll be taking you're market share too, little rat!" Mickey Mouse ordered the storm troopers to open fire. They shot at Pikachu, all missing despite being like, a few feet away. Pikachu blasted lightning straight through the heart of every storm trooper. They fell to the ground around Mickey, who squeaked angrily to the heavens. Mickey's gloved hands grew twenty times their original size and he encased Pikachu within them. His arms stretched as he slammed his hands into the ground and surrounding vehicles, hoping to deal a serious blow to his adversary. Pikachu tried to use Thunder Shock. Mickey Chuckled.
"Haw haw! Electric attacks won't work on THESE gloves!" Mickey pointlessly announced as he launched Pikachu into a skyscraper. Pikachu used Volt Tackle to shoot straight through to the other side, leaving behind four floor's worth of health and safety issues. Now that he was royally pissed off, Pikachu summoned a bolt of lightning from the heavens, which delivered a surfboard to him as he soared through the urban sprawl at low altitude. He mounted the surfboard and struck a badass pose, which caused a mighty wave to rise from the burst fire hydrants below. Pikachu surfed back to Mickey, whose body had grown till his hands were back in proportion. Mickey used his Copyright Enforcement Breath, which made Pikachu fat again. It also killed off Danger Mouse. Pikachu was now too heavy for the surfboard, so he fell into the water. This was still advantageous for him, not only because everybody prefers fat Pikachu, but also the water was up to Mickey's legs. Pikachu used Thunder Shock again. The shock went up and down Mickey's body, dealing a critical hit and reducing his size to normal. Mickey was not ready to admit defeat, so he opened up a portal to space and chucked Pikachu through it.
Now that the rivals were beyond the planet's atmosphere, they were able to use their Godly Mascot transformations. Mickey became The Sorcerer's Apprentice 3000F, and Pikachu became Super Monster 3F. Mickey used his wand to summon ten more wands, and used those wands to summon two hundred more wands. The wands all zipped around, firing deadly spells at Pikachu from all angles. Pikachu had some sort of ultra-good instinctive ability, so he was able to dodge all the spells. Two of the spells fell away and killed Tom and Jerry in their sleep. When Mickey realised that his technique wasn't working, he glued all of his wands together to make a singular, mighty wand. Mickey charged up his Supernova spell at 211x speed, but that was not quick enough, for Pikachu had done a Big Sneeze. The wand broke apart and disintegrated. Mickey roared.
"It's over, Mickey. Este es el Fin." Pikachu proclaimed. He rubbed his shiny, muscular shoulder onto Mickey and sent him into re-entry. Mickey cursed Pikachu, Nintendo, Gamefreak and The Pokémon Company as he turned into a glistening meteor.
Pikachu had no easy way of getting back to his office, so he went to Deoxys' space house for a visit. However, Deoxys was still out bowling, so Pikachu had to wait on the front porch.
