CW: Discussions of death

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

My mouth was dry. Oh God was it dry. Why was it so dry? That and there was a weird, stale taste in my mouth that made me scowl.

The room I was in was odd and unfamiliar, even the smell of it was weirdly sterile. I felt like I was in a daze. It was like looking through a greasy lens that put a dream-like, hazy sheen over everything. Any noise I made seemed to have an echo and I couldn't tell if it actually existed or only in my head.

It felt different from my other dreams though… wait... dreams? Was that... where I'd been? Had I just been dreaming? Was I still dreaming or...?

I felt heavy. Everything about me, my limbs, my eyelids, my tongue. Everything.

The room I found myself in was decorated really... cute? Where the heck was I?

A large, plush rug covered most of the floor and a bookshelf butted up against the opposite wall with ample space and already quite a few books on it. I recognized them as the ones I had picked out from the store.

Was this not a dream? Ugh, I was just so groggy. I had never felt pain in my dreams, not physical pain anyway, but this? This hurt. Everything ached.

It had to be real. And if that was the case… how long had I been asleep for? My body felt as though it'd been out of commission for ages.

I kept staring at the books, my eyes slowly adjusting to the dimly lit room, bringing them into focus. So even after all that, Kisame made sure to get them?

He was a good friend.

String lights hung around a framed cork board with a bunch of polaroid photos pinned to it. On the nightstand beside me was a little marionette mixed in with a bunch of medical tools. From the strings dangled a lion wearing a tiny party hat.

There was a little note from Sasori. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust but I did eventually manage to read it.

"I told you I'd get you something nice to remember me by, didn't I? Sorry, not sorry."

I smiled. Always so snarky. I'd have to thank him later.

Itachi was right though, there were medical texts everywhere in stacks and sprawled out across the floor and on every surface available, with scribbles and notes in the margins and on bookmarks and loose pieces of paper scattered about.

Kakuzu had been very busy indeed. But he wasn't there now. No one was.

I didn't want to be alone. I couldn't stand it. I'd never felt such an aversion to isolation before, but suddenly it felt overwhelming and all-encompassing.

I needed to find someone. Anyone. It felt like I'd been alone for an eternity or two. I needed to see if they'd be able to hear me now, and if I could touch them.

I shifted to get off the bed and frowned, finding myself attached to a bag of liquid hanging nearby. A needle fed a tube into my arm, connecting me to the thing.

I stared at it for a long time, unable to make a decision about it.

Was it friend or foe? Good tube? Bad tube? Everything was just so difficult to process in the fog of my mind, even things that felt like they should be simple or mundane. I felt oddly helpless in my mental capabilities, which were usually all I had going for me, to be frank.

Who's Frank?

Even my alter was confused.

I ripped the tube out, tired of thinking, hissing at the pinching pain it caused.

I wondered about the length of time I'd been "away" when my legs immediately gave out as I pushed myself off the bed to stand, hitting the floor painfully. My entire body pulsed with discomfort as I tried to stand.

My muscles had apparently atrophied. I wasn't prepared for that.

It took considerable effort to pull myself to my feet, but I managed with enough straining and groaning. I found I could walk, just not particularly fast or well, and probably not for long.

I'd have to find someone quickly. I meandered into the bathroom and froze at the sight of myself in the mirror.

A hitching breath.

It was like I was staring at someone else, some other version of me. My hair was a little longer, my cheeks had lost some of their childish roundness, but much more noticeable than that were the vivid tracks cutting through my previously unmarked skin.

My fingers were trembling as I brought them to touch the scars that now ran throughout my skin. I had to see if they felt as real as they looked.

They did.

They were scattered all over. I had two on my face alone, angry and pink, one running through my forehead and cutting into my brow, another streaking down my cheek from below the corner of my eye all the way to my jaw.

Even with all of the salves and concoctions Kakuzu had, they were still very visible, an attestation to their original severity, if I had to hazard a guess.

I cringed at my reflection, my throat producing some sort of disgusted noise as I touched the one on my shoulder, my arm, and another slashing across my chest and up my neck. I imagined there were many more beneath Kakuzu's shirt that hung loosely off my body.

Talk about repulsive.

I needed to stop looking at myself. I couldn't stand that sight.

I shuffled over to the door and it opened with a soft click. Making my way out into the hall shakily, I pressed against the wall to support myself as I travelled down the corridor.

It dawned on me that the floorplan of this place was different and I would have to memorize an entirely new labyrinth. I agonized at the thought.

"Hello?" I croaked before falling into a fit of coughing. Had to dust off the old voicebox it seemed.

Okay, not calling out for anyone. Got it.

Hallways like these challenged me on a good day, let alone in my dazed and confused state. It was my waking nightmare.

Just then, someone popped their head out of a room down the hall.

My heart leapt at first, thrilled at the prospect of having found someone so quickly. Then I realized with a grimace, it was no one I knew. My leaping heart needed to chill the heck out. And it did, immediately plummeting though the stone as I wondered if I was on the wrong floor.

Had I accidentally gone downstairs? Was this the subordinate floor?

The person wore an akatsuki cloak, however… and subordinates didn't get those. What was up with the swirly orange mask though? I just couldn't picture any of the guys choosing to wear such a silly looking thing.

"Neh?" he questioned, staring me down as I did the same to him. In fact, I think I probably looked quite aggressive, my brows furrowed, squinting at him from under them very suspiciously.

I was shocked into stumbling backwards by a sudden outburst on his part.

"Nyaaaaaa! She's awake! She's awaaaaaaake!" He was shouting far too loud and moving far too fast. He bolted out into the hall and began racing in small circles, waving his arms in the air wildly as he continued to yell.

My God. Apparently this is not a drill.

For such a tall figure, he had an oddly childish voice and demeanor.

Suddenly he was running directly at me.

I'll admit… I may have freaked out a little. In my defense though, I was highly confused and I had poor experiences with strangers in Akatsuki base hallways.

It didn't feel good, I knew it was dumb, but I managed to draw out some power to use my abilities.

It was more instinctual than anything to be honest, and I was thankful that the walls were made of stone. As he quickly approached, I shot my hand out and, with a strained grunt, pulled a horizontal column of stone out to extend across the hallway at his chest level.

"WAHHH!" the man screamed as he was promptly clotheslined.

He laid on his back, groaning and fussing something fierce, to the point that I couldn't believe he was actually a member of the Akatsuki. I huffed shallowly, holding myself up against the wall.

Another door opened a little further down. Finally a familiar face. I cracked a smile and almost cried at the sight of Kakuzu's supremely grumpy expression as he shouted down the hall, "What the hell is the problem out here?"

He was glaring at the man laying on the ground so intently that he didn't even notice me at first, but when he did, it only got worse.

"Fucking… Izumi. What the hell are you doing out of bed!?" he boomed, the echo reverberating in the hallway, or maybe just my head. I couldn't be sure, given my state.

Though I was certain his hulking form stomping over to me, stepping over the mystery man and ducking under the stone clothesline pole, was not a hallucination.

He towered over me, fuming. I smiled up at him weakly. I was just so happy to see him, I had little consideration for his ill temper.

"Was that your doing?" he asked, pointing over his shoulder.

"Yes…" I admitted with some remorse. Though it may have just been the hoarseness of my voice from disuse.

He sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"He scared me," I defended.

"He's just an idiot, now get back to your room," he ordered.

He could hear me… he could actually hear me and respond. I smiled up at him so widely it hurt.

I put my arms out expectantly and got another drawn out, perturbed sigh from him. It was simply the prerequisite before doing anything nice for me. Wordlessly, he bent down and gathered me up to carry me on his hip.

The man on the ground watched us, muttering to himself. "Neh…? Kakuzu-san is being so nice to Izumi-chan…"

He jumped up to his feet, calling after us, "Kakuzuuuu-saaan, why don't you ever carry Tobi like that?"

I gaped at his audacity and looked at Kakuzu for his reaction. His eyes were closed tight with irritation, that ever-familiar vein pulsing in his forehead. I had missed that vein.

I reached up and traced along it.

The hand not supporting my bottom shot out behind him, detaching from his arm with the inky black tendrils holding the connection, slamming into Tobi's chest. It grasped at his cloak and yanked him toward us, slamming his face not once, but three times into the sideways stone pillar jutting across the hallway.

Kakuzu's hand released its grip and the body fell limply to the floor with a dithery whine.

That seems about right.

Kakuzu looked at me and smirked at my expression. He may as well have been beaming at me.

"Is he gonna be okay?" I asked quietly.

"I hope not. He's an even bigger pain in the ass than you," he mumbled, giving me side-eye.

I wrapped my arms around Kakuzu's neck and deflated against him with a huge breath of relief I hadn't realized was in me.

"I missed you," I said quietly, allowing my eyes to shut with a press of my forehead into the crook of his neck.

I didn't tell my fingers to do this, I didn't even realize they were doing it at first, but they gripped at him and smoothed over his back, feeling at him repeatedly to make sure he was real in a compulsive fashion.

He didn't say anything, but I felt the weight of his hand against my back, sliding up and cupping the nape of my neck against him, his fingers coiling loosely around it with a light squeeze. We didn't have to walk far, it's not like I'd made it any impressive distance.

Kakuzu tried to lay me back down on the bed but I clung to him. I wasn't ready yet. I liked the feeling of being held too much to let go so soon.

"What the hell are you doing?" he complained, resigning himself to carry me still, just standing there at the edge of the bed with a heft to readjust me.

"Please, not yet, Kakuzu? I'm not ready..." I managed, the waterworks pressing at the edges of my eyes like they were nothing but flimsy, makeshift dams trying to hold back oceans.

"Not ready for what? Lying on a fucking bed? I'm not asking you to do anything," Kakuzu remarked back, annoyed.

Oh, I had irritated him. It was just as I remembered. I absolutely delighted in it.

A weeping, strangled noise ruptured from me as the dams burst open. I couldn't process. It was too real, too good to be true. I could bother him, I could touch him, and he heard me and felt me and got annoyed.

I both heard and felt him sigh deeply beneath me and it made me laugh weakly through my elated tears, using what little strength I had to squeeze him tighter.

He allowed me some time to cry it out, stalwart and still as I shook against him.

After a few moments of calm, he asked me if I was done. "I need to get you hooked back up to the IV. Looks like some idiot ripped it out," he muttered.

"You're not going to just leave after, are you?" I murmured into his shoulder.

"No," he said flatly.

"Okay…" I loosened against him hesitantly and he took the opportunity to peel me off and lay me on the bed. He regarded me with a strange look in his eyes. They weren't steely and hardened like usual, there was something relieved yett hesitant about them.

"Don't fuck with this again," Kakuzu grumbled as he futzed with the tube I'd yanked from my arm.

"I was confused. I still… kind of am. Kakuzu… was I out for long?" I asked, rubbing my face before watching him re-insert a needle into my arm with a wince.

"Sixty three days," he said bluntly.

Wow. He knows down to the day. Someone give this man a prize.

"Oh…" was all I could manage. I'd just lost two months of my life. It was an odd feeling to comprehend. I'm not sure I even did. I'd have to let that sink in.

"Your body was complete shit at healing itself so it took some time to get everything under control. I had to quickly learn how to do so… so I would appreciate it if you stayed the fuck in bed, Izumi."

I was speechless.

Only for a second, of course.

"Kakuzu…" I said softly, looking around at all the strewn books, imagining all the sleepless nights and effort he put into keeping me alive.

I didn't even have to imagine it really. In a peculiar way, in some seemingly distant, yet near part of my mind, I recalled the conversations and page turning that I'd inserted into my dreams over the course of the last two months and realized how much of it was probably rooted in reality.

I very much understood the effort he'd put into saving my life and, out of respect for him, I would never let him know that.

"Shut up," he said quickly, pressing at my stomach just beneath the ribs with a chakra-laden hand to examine my guts, I assumed. The feeling was all too familiar, he would do this all the time while I was sleeping, now I finally understood why.

Oh, how I missed this game. Cue me being sentimental, then Kakuzu pretending to despise it, then I continue anyway. Spoiler alert: Kakuzu doesn't actually despise it.

"Yousaved my life..." I said, trying to keep my beans together.

"It was something I needed to learn anyway. Being immortal, I always intended to get more medical ninjutsu under my belt," he justified coldly, moving his hand down, pressing firmly on my lower abdomen. Judging from his satisfied expression, everything seemed to be in order.

"Oh, so I was just a good little guinea pig," I mused, smiling. I was talking and he was talking back. I couldn't have been happier.

"Yes," he agreed, seemingly thankful I'd allow him to pretend I was of no more import than a rodent to him.

"Well in that case, I'm glad I could help," I said haughtily.

He scoffed and shook his head, finishing up his impromptu physical examination.

"I need to test your cognitive ability to make sure you didn't become even more of a dumbass. I'm going to ask you questions. You're going to answer them."

I liked these instructions. They were easy to follow.

"Yes, doctor," I said, very seriously. He deadpanned.

"What is my name?" he asked.

"Kakuzu," I said with a smile.

Nailed it.

"What's my last name?"

"Psh, easy, it's… uh, it's…" I filed through all the name cabinets of my brain, coming up empty.

Oh god. You really did get dumb.

He seemed to enjoy watching me rack my brain for this information. I slowly narrowed my eyes on him.

"Hey. Wait a minute. I've never known your last name," I accused.

"Correct."

"Oh, don't tell me you got funny while I was out," I tutted.

"Was I not before?" he asked blandly.

I pursed my lips at him. "Is this part of the questionnaire?"

"Yes."

I rolled my eyes, suppressing a smile. "Hilarious."

"Wrong," he spat, writing something aggressively on his clipboard.

"Hey!" I cried, "what are you writing!?"

"That's none of your concern," he said coldly.

"Um, it's all of my concern," I bit back, folding my arms and wincing as I hit against the tube stuck in me.

"Izumi…" Kakuzu growled, jumping up to pull my arm straight and inspect it. After seemingly determining it was fine, he shifted his eyes to glare at me. "Be. Careful."

"I'll try… sorry Kakuzu…" I said, giving him an apologetic look.

He sighed with frustration and resigned himself to saying, "It's… fine," with a heavy hand atop my head.

I had come to understand this as one of the only ways Kakuzu knew to show affection. A hand on a head.

It made me wonder what his childhood was like. Like… was that something his dad did? Was that the only affection he'd ever been shown?

Regardless, I was practically purring beneath the weight of it, closing my eyes and enjoying it while it lasted. I knew he was frugal with such gestures. I was shocked when he extended it, pulling my head against his torso and dropping his other arm to my shoulder to keep me there even more firmly.

"You've been such a pain," he said, gruffly but barely above a whisper.

He would absolutely hate this, but I could hear the effort in his voice, trying to hide everything he'd been going through, likely alone, over the past couple months. It was plain as day. He shouldered so much by himself, never willing to let anyone in.

I was all too happy to curl my arms around him. Slowly though, so as not to scare him away. He was like a stray cat that I wanted to coax into the warmth of a home, but he was just too feral to understand what love even looked like anymore and what was good for him.

It felt like stray kitty Kakuzu was finally coming in, even if just for a moment. I needed to make sure I didn't startle him away with too much of a gesture.

"I know… I'm sorry, Kakuzu. I don't mean to be a pain. Do you think you'll find it in one of your hearts to forgive me?" I asked. I knew he'd need a question tacked on or else he wouldn't know how to respond without any guidance. Then he'd definitely freak out and pull away.

He chuffed at my question and seemed to be mulling it over.

"Maybe in the fish's. Maybe," he said dryly.

I smiled, my cheek pressed into his stomach and my tiny fingers lightly rubbing his back reassuringly.

"You still have Lucky's heart?" I asked with a disbelieving smile.

He grunted an affirmation.

Suddenly he pulled away, practically ripping me off the bed with him. He pushed me back to keep me there.

"Hidan is coming," he said, moving to sit in the chair and taking to writing on his clipboard again. He seemed almost… embarrassed? Oh, he was too cute.

He was a stray again, but I was determined to get him to come inside once more eventually, maybe for a little longer next time.

Perhaps we'll try the old 'here kitty kitty kitty pspspspsps' trick.

I tried to imagine what Kakuzu's reaction to such a thing would be. It was hard to pindown. I'd have to try it out one day in earnest.

One day when he was least expecting it.

Um, that's literally every day. Guarantee the dude is never expecting that.

He must have sensed Hidan's chakra, but only a moment later, even I could tell. His footsteps were not light and he was obviously barrelling down the hall towards my room.

The door burst open. Hidan charged in, skidding to a halt at the sight of me.

He stared at me. I stared at him.

My heart swelled and seized as I waited for a reaction, but nothing was happening. He appeared to be quite literally frozen, breath held and eyes trained deadly still on me. They were blinking, refreshing, seeing if I would still be there from one moment to the next.

I blinked back.

"H-hey you," I said, barely audible with a small smile, the sight of him enough to make me lose my voice.

"Holy fuck, this is real," he said in disbeleif, suddenly finding his ability to move, though his knees sagged for a second.

He strode over fervently, promptly taking my face in his hands, and crushed his lips against mine like a desert-stranded man finding water for the first time.

His hands were soon fisting into my hair to feel that I was there and making sure I couldn't go away again. Heavy inhales and exhales blustered from his nostrils just so he wouldn't need to break our kiss, and I could feel the weight of his worry begin to diffuse with each one.

I was immediately swept up by his fervor, wrapping my fingers around his wrists as I kissed him back. I could actually kiss him back. I could actually feel him. So I did, I let my hands wander and do what some might consider stranger things.

They pawed at his face, feeling the planes of it, his brow ridge, the bridge of his nose, cheeks, jaw, hair, all of it. I just wanted to feel him beneath my fingers. As far as the actual kiss went, he didn't even use tongue, which was very unlike him to be honest, but I understood that it wasn't meant to be sexual.

He simply needed to feel me there, alive against him. And I was no different in what I needed from him.

It was probably for the best anyhow, considering Kakuzu was in the room with us. Though based on how Hidan spoke to me in front of him over the course of my coma, I sensed Kakuzu was already well aware that what we had was a little more than platonic…

Just a little...

I didn't really care at that point anyway. I was just elated to be alive and awake and have this absurdly handsome, sweet man straight up mackin' on me like his immortal life depended on it.

"Hidan, for fuck's sake, be gentle with her. I just got done fixing her," Kakuzu warned, causing Hidan to smirk against my lips.

He finally broke away simply because he was smiling too big and then I was a grinning idiot as well, fueled by him.

"Fucking… Jashin… you're actually here, sweetheart. It doesn't feel fucking real. I thought I'd be waiting forever… and I would have, too," he said, laughing, hitting his forehead against mine and holding me there with a shaky breath.

I closed my eyes, leaning into it. "I know… I'm here, Hidan. I never meant to disappear like that, I'm so sorry," I whispered, my hands finding his bare chest and pressing flush against it.

His skin was such a comfort beneath my fingers. I let them fan across his pectorals, feeling at his collar bone, over the slope of his shoulders and neck. I couldn't stop touching him.

"God, that was the worst torture of my fucking life…" he muttered with another deep breath.

This coming from the man who has repeatedly stabbed himself through the heart.

I moved to pull away, I just wanted to look at him, but he tightened his grip on my hair and released a massive sigh, potent with all things anxious and dreading finally expelling from him after months of metastasizing.

"Not yet, sweetheart. Just… not fucking yet," he said, his voice quiet and uneven. I understood all too well, I had just done something similar to Kakuzu. I would have stayed like that forever if he asked.

He planted another kiss on my lips before moving across my face, kissing my cheeks, my chin, my eyes, eyebrows, forehead, probably some pimples, definitely some scars. You name it, if it was on my face, he was kissing it.

I couldn't help but giggle into it and I could feel his smile against me as I did.

Eventually he loosened his grip in my hair, his hands sweeping down to hold my face. He stared down at me like I'd come back from the dead. Just pure disbelief and elation. He shook his head a little, brows furrowed.

"I am one lucky son of a bitch," he muttered.

I scoffed with a shake of my head. "I'm the lucky one. I should probably be dead. Thank God I had you guys."

Hidan made a disgusted noise at the thought. "Yeah, you have no idea, baby girl. I gotta figure out a damn way to make you immortal, like yesterday."

"Why don't I just do it the same way you did it?" I asked the obvious question, not actually entertaining the idea. Living forever sounded terrifying, even more so than death.

"Fuck no, like I'd put you through that hell," he said like it was so obvious. It was not. I didn't even know how he became immortal, but I was suddenly very curious.

"She could do it how I did it," Kakuzu muttered in the background, half paying attention as he studied one of the many books in front of him.

"And be all fucked up with stitches all over her? Gross, dude. Fuck outta here with that bullshit," Hidan said, looking appalled.

Hidan and Kakuzu began bickering and I tuned them out, spiraling into a depressing thought.

Maybe I didn't have stitches all over me... but I had a lot of scars now. Really freaking big ones. The two didn't seem all that different to me. Did that mean Hidan would think my scars were gross…? I mean, I couldn't blame him. That was my first reaction too.

He sensed the dour shift in my expression with just a glance and immediately dropped the argument, turning to me and taking my face into his hands again. It was like his part-time job at that point.

Izumi face holder.

Some experience required.

"Hey… hey hey hey, what's wrong? Baby girl?" His eyes became frantic as they flitted across my face. I could tell he'd been more than high-strung these last two months, he couldn't handle anything going wrong. That included my mood.

I wouldn't bother him with my silly insecurities.

I shook my head, swallowing. "It's nothing, I think I'm just overwhelmed. It's hard to believe I was gone for that long… you know?"

"I do… I really fucking do," he said, petting my hair and tucking me under his arm. I decompressed into him.

"Thanks for keeping me company, by the way… both of you," I said.

Kakuzu grunted without even looking up. Hidan cocked his head, giving me a confused look.

I laughed, sometimes he looked so cute.

"I could hear you guys sometimes, you know. Bickering and chattering away. It helped… with the loneliness," I said, smiling, thinking back to much of the only company I had while I was trapped inside.

"No fucking way. So that fish fuck was right?" Hidan balked at the thought.

"I don't think I could all the time. But yeah, you visited me a lot. Kakuzu too," I said fondly.

"I had to be in here to fix you," Kakuzu said like he was correcting an error in something I said, as if he had no choice in the matter.

"Ah. Otherwise you would have been nowhere to be seen, is that right?" I asked, snarky as all heck. I knew he was just putting on some tough guy front for whatever reason. It was ingrained in him at that point.

He glared at me.

I squinted at him. "I do hope you realize that in your quest to excuse yourself from being perceived as caring, heaven forbid, you admitted to putting in much more effort than simply visiting since you were in here working to save me?" I said all in one breath.

"Ugh, I'm not dealing with this," Kakuzu groaned, standing to leave.

"Okay fine, I'll just see you later," I said, smiling. "Are the others here? Itachi, Kisame? Dei, Sasori? Would you mind just letting them know I'd like to see them?"

Kakuzu and Hidan exchanged a look.

"Itachi and Kisame are out on a job," Kakuzu said dismissively, opening the door.

"Okay… what about Dei and Sasori?" I asked hopefully.

He made a disgruntled noise before looking at Hidan. "I'll let you tell her."

He shut the door behind him.

I looked at Hidan. "Tell me what?" I asked hesitantly.

"Aw fuck… that fucking asshole leaving it to me… I'm no good at this shit," Hidan muttered to himself, looking down at me with some sort of pitious look.

"Hidan…?" I asked, biting my lip and staring up at him with big, worried eyes. I had a horrible pit in my belly.

"Shit, Izumi… don't look like that, baby girl… not before I even fucking tell you," Hidan said, his brows arching sympathetically as he looked down at me.

"Tell me what, Hidan?" I begged. That look he was giving me meant nothing good.

He looked around helplessly like he might find something that would assist him in that moment. Shockingly, it seemed to work. His eyes grew at the little marionette on the nightstand.

He sat on the edge of the bed, grabbing the lion puppet, examining it. He also looked at the little note Sasori left with it and let out a little laughing scoff.

"The little shit…" he said to himself, turning over the marionette in his hands. I looked at him expectantly.

He cleared his throat. "Sooo, Sasori got this for you back in Jomae," he said, making it walk up my leg before having him sit on my tummy to stare at me. He nodded towards it in some gesture for me to take it from him.

And I did, making him do a little dance.

Hidan breathed out and shifted uncomfortably. "I don't think he knew when he got it for you… that it would be a parting gift but uh… that's uh… that's what it is."

It wasn't often that I saw Hidan so serious and not confident in his words. He wasn't even swearing.

"He… he left the Akatsuki?" I asked, hoping to God he just said 'yes'.

It was clear based on his expression that was not what he wanted me to ask. He wanted me to just get it.

"Sweetheart… he left this fucking world," he said, giving me a pitious look and a tilt of his head, tucking some hair behind my ear.

As the meaning behind what he said fully dawned on me, a horrible, squeaky noise leaked out of my throat. My breath hitched and I dropped the marionette as my hands clapped against my mouth, my head slowly shaking back and forth.

"No… no, that can't be it. He was so strong," I said, not accepting it.

"Yeah… I know," Hidan said, looking like he was hating every minute of this. I didn't imagine he was particularly upset by the news on a personal level, but he certainly didn't like delivering it to me.

I felt like I was on a roller coaster, only moments ago I was delighted to be alive and kissing Hidan. Now I was trying to process that I'd never see Sasori again. I racked my brain for what my last words to him were and what his were to me, as if that were significant somehow.

I clenched my eyes shut, tears pouring, head shaking. Hidan's arms fell around me as he pulled me into a comforting embrace complete with gentle back rubs and soft shushing. I couldn't help but sob into it. It was all far too much.

"Where's Dei?" I managed to ask after some time.

"Should be in his room. He got a bit fucked up too," Hidan said.

"What?! Is he okay?" I asked, pitching forward.

"Hey hey hey, relax, baby girl," Hidan said, his hands pushing me back onto the bed by my shoulders. "He's fine. He's just stuck in bed for a little, just like you."

"Will you take me to see him?" I asked, wiping at my face and trying to calm down.

"Maybe tomorrow. You just woke up, sweetheart. You're fucking killing me here," he said, and I gave him an apologetic look but that didn't stop me from wanting to see Deidara still.

"Please, Hidan. He must be a wreck. I need to see him, it's been so long," I petitioned.

"He's honestly not bad, Izumi. He's a little quiet, but it's actually kind of nice," Hidan said with a shrug.

"Hidan…" I scolded. "Please… I need you to just take me to him. Just for the teensiest eensiest little bit?" Big tears bubbled out from the corners of my eyes as I pleaded, grabbing and squeezing Hidan's hands.

With a hardset frown, he looked down at me and I could already tell he wouldn't be able to say 'no' to me.

He growled and gave me a begrudging, "Fine, but Kakuzu is gonna fucking kill me for this," before undoing my IV properly and scooping me up. I was lowkey impressed at his proficiency with the IV, it seemed like he could have done it with his eyes closed, and I made the connection that he helped out with a lot of my treatment.

There was no answer when Hidan knocked on Deidara's door.

"Welp, guess he's not fucking home," Hidan said, quick to turn on his heel.

"Dei? Are you in there?" I called out as loud as I could, my voice still a little shot.

"Izumi?" He called back from inside, his voice spiking about five octaves higher than usual.

I gave Hidan an 'I-told-you-so' look and he rolled his eyes, pushing the door open with his foot.

Deidara was on the bed. I smiled at him through my residual tears as Hidan ferried me through the doorway.

His face lit up and he choked on his words. "God, you're a sight for sore eyes," Deidara said with a tired grin.

He was laying in bed, propped up to be mostly sitting at an incline against his many pillows. His arms looked terrible. Like they'd been pieced together in some sort of frankensteinian experiment.

"Oh Dei, what happened?!" I asked, my hands flying to cover my gaping mouth as I eyed his discolored and recently sewn on limbs.

"Heh… it's a long story. You got time?" he asked.

A/N: SO... couple of things...

I AM SORRY ABOUT SAS. This storyline follows canon events so far but will be divergent later.

But ya girl is AWAKE at least? Does that count for anything? She can't exactly jump up and do anything exciting so here you go. That's the chapter lol.

Ngl tho, I love exploring Kakuzu learning how to deal with the fact that he has emotions, he is my favorite irritable, awkward lad :3

I hope all of you lovely readers have a great day :3 Thanks so much for all your reviews and support!