I'd forgotten what it was like to be on the road with the sun beating down on my back. It was kind of nice. Okay, it was really nice.

Burns so gooood.

Though it was well into summer at that point and the black cloak was a major bummer. Hidan tried to convince me to be like him and just wear no shirt under it, but luckily Kakuzu shut him up before I had to engage in that conversation.

"Alright, we're leaving. Izumi, get on," Kakuzu said, indicating I should climb onto his back as he crouched down.

Hidan stepped in between us. "Whoa whoa whoa, the fuck are you doing, Gramps? I'm carrying her," he declared, arms folded as he glared at his partner.

Kakuzu stood and faced Hidan with a shadowy, scary expression. "We'll rotate," he said sternly.

I just kind of stood there watching. Kakuzu had never insisted on carrying me before, in fact he usually seemed to quite like that Hidan was all too happy to do it himself.

"Since when do you want to lug her around, anyway?!"

What do they think you are, a freaking suitcase?

"Since I spent two fucking months piecing her back together, you imbecile. If I leave her to you the whole time, you'll probably find a way to break her again."

No. Apparently a porcelain doll.

This sent Hidan into a fuming rage. "You stupid piece of shit, you know I'm not gonna fucking do that!" Hidan hollered, stepping into his partner's face. Despite Hidan being shorter than Kakuzu, he squared up to him just fine, chest puffing and jaw pushed forward.

Kakuzu only glared. Their silent standoff lasted a few more moments before Hidan finally broke it, scoffing.

"Tch, fine, but I get first fucking dibs," he countered, backing down and sauntering over to me.

Kakuzu growled deep in his throat. I'm not even sure if he realized they were fighting over who got to carry me first… surely if he had, he would immediately pretend not to care.

I decided to step in.

"Alright, alright gentleman. I know I'm just so super fun to carry. My proposed solution is that you guys simply slice me two and you each get to carry half. Yeah?" I put it out there with a shrug, tugging Hidan's scythe down and leveling it at the center of my forehead.

Kakuzu glared at me and snorted at my idiocy. "Fine, Hidan. Just hurry up and take her."

As I suspected. All l had to do was be annoying.

Hidan grinned and caught me by surprise when he scooped me up so that I draped between his arms, pulling me against his chest. I'd only been expecting to be his little turtle shell like usual.

"You want to carry me like this? Won't your arms get tired?" I asked, immediately looping my hands to clasp behind his neck.

"Does it hurt like this? Am I against any of your scars too badly?" he asked back.

I shook my head quickly, "No, no, nothing like that."

"Well then don't you fucking worry about me, baby girl. I just want to be able to see that pretty fucking face of yours, that's all," he said, winking at me with one of his toothy smiles.

Acceptable.

Had I the ability to morph from solid to liquid by sweetness alone, I would have splashed right onto the ground. Instead, my face went pink and I couldn't help but return the smile. Not quite the same effect, but Hidan seemed to think it was cute enough as he brought me up to steal a kiss.

"Ugh, is this what it's going to be like now?" Kakuzu grumbled, apparently disgusted by our affection as we trudged on.

I was going to apologize but was immediately muted by Hidan's boisterous laugh. "Nah dude, don't worry, we're not even using tongue yet. It's gonna get a lot worse soon."

"Hidan!" I scolded, thinking he was actually going to assure Kakuzu otherwise at first. In hindsight, that was a silly mistake to make. "No, it's not, Kakuzu," I said, looking up at Hidan with a scrunchy face.

He gazed up at the clouds, whistling and feigning innocence.

Honestly though, despite Kakuzu's general grumpiness and everyone's mysterious apprehension about this Inaho Village, the trip there went pretty smoothly. The boys played nice when it came time to trade me off between them and I'd never actually gotten to ride on Kakuzu's back before.

Him being even taller than Hidan, I felt like a freaking giant. He let me ramble on about some of the various dreams I'd had, though I made sure not to bring up certain details like Hidan's detailed anatomy being painted across my wall. Surprisingly, he seemed to find it amusing that he had an ever-growing mustache in one of them though.

I begged him to never make such a thing a reality and he refused to agree, much to my chagrin.

"Kakuzu, please. I swear I'll never ask you for another thing in this life."

Kakuzu snorted at the thought alone. He knew as well as I did, that was not true.

"You look so handsome clean-shaven, or just this cute stubble," I insisted, pulling his cowl down and rubbing my palms across his scratchy cheeks to solidify my point.

"Knock it off before I throw you off," he demanded, jerking away from me.

"You wouldn't… I just might break if you do, and what an inconvenience that would be, no? Probably expensive too."

I couldn't see his face, but based on the growling noise that ground out of him, I was sure he was glowering at me, pissed that I was using this little tidbit of knowledge against him now.

The joke was on me though. He angled his head back to shoot me a look, face frightening close to mine. I practically freaking vaulted myself off him in sheer terror and Hidan scrambled to catch me.

"Whoa! What the fuck!?" Hidan yelled, gripping me against him.

I had never seen Kakuzu look so freaking smug before. He'd sent a mass of those creepy little tendrils to peek out from above his top lip like some sort of eldritch perversion of a mustache, expanding and undulating.

Two words that should never be associated with mustaches.

I would never unsee it. It was my eternal nightmare.

I'd never heard him laugh so loud. Hidan lost his beans over it too, cackling madly in my ear, much to my dismay. Oh, they thought it was a real freaking hoot.

"Kakuzu! Put those things away!" I shrieked, pleading, covering my eyes and peeking out through my fingers.

Hidan interjected, "Nah dude, I think it makes you look distinguished. You should keep it. You can offer mustache rides."

"Hidan! Don't encourage him!" I shouted, smacking his chest which he pretended to be injured by, the dope.

"I think I'll keep it," Kakuzu agreed.

I balked and refused to ride on Kakuzu's back for a while after that. Hidan took me onto his and for a good hour or so, shouted different facial hair requests at Kakuzu and shockingly, Kakuzu played along.

The two were actually getting along kind of famously… the best I'd ever seen, anyway. I would have found a lot more enjoyment in watching them together if they weren't bonding over such a creepy thing. Kakuzu's long, tendrilled wizard beard was pure nightmare fuel. And don't even get me started on the mutton chops...

Luckily we only had to make camp one night, Kakuzu said if we got up early and stayed on schedule, we'd get to the village before nightfall.

"How are you holding up, sweetheart?" Hidan asked as he began unfurling both our sleeping bags next to each other.

"I'm okay, a little tired," I said with a yawn. "Which feels kind of messed up, considering you guys carried me around all day."

"Hey, you be fucking nice to yourself, okay?" he scolded. "You were under the sun all damn day and you had to look at Kakuzu's ugly fucking mug more than you're used to. It must have been exhausting."

I snorted. He was so rude... but after those mustache antics, I didn't feel all that bad about laughing.

"It was a little rough on the eyes, maybe that's why they're so tired..." I pondered aloud.

Hidan grinned, crawling over to me across the two sleeping bags he just merged together to make one big one.

"Luckily for you, sweetheart, I'm pretty easy on the eyes. How's that for some fucking balance?"

Yes. Yes, he really is.

Even though I was perfectly comfortable around Hidan and quite used to his advances by that point... the visual of him approaching me like that, the way the muscles of his shoulders moved as he stalked over to me on all fours like a predator…

My heart skipped, beating abruptly fast. I definitely felt like prey.

He was quickly upon me, hands grounded on each side of me, chest puffing, touching my own, mouth moving against mine. My fingers curled into the grass to hold me in place as he hummed contently into my mouth the moment I let him in.

The low growl of a predator very much suited him.

The helpless keening noise slipping out of me only fueled him more.

"Hidan…" Kakuzu's warning voice gave him pause as he entered into the clearing with an armful of wood. Hidan gave it another lingering second before smirking against me and pulling away.

"Don't tell me you want one too," Hidan said, giving his partner a sideways glance.

Kakuzu stomped over and threw some logs on the fire, stopping just a moment to kick Hidan with a swift foot to his side. I reeled back, wanting to avoid the violence that I was very close to.

I winced as Hidan was launched away from me, sent rolling and tumbling a few times before his back hit a tree with an audible crack, leading me to believe there was more than a good amount of force behind the blow...

"I will fucking separate you two if you can't keep it in your pants, Hidan."

"Hey! It's in my fucking pants, dude," Hidan said, coughing up a little blood and pushing himself up to his knees angrily, wiping at his mouth with a sloppy fist and glaring at his partner.

Kakuzu returned the glare at Hidan's pants specifically, cocking an eyebrow in irritation.

"Barely."

I also looked. Hidan was… excited.

Somehow, against all odds, the man managed to maintain his erection even through internal bleeding and practically breaking his back. 'Freak of nature' didn't even begin to cover it, but as far as I was concerned, he was my freak of nature.

I was exceedingly embarrassed as the two argued about making sure Hidan didn't plan on having sex with me next to Kakuzu that night, as if I didn't have a say in it. Talk about freaking awkward.

"Can we not?" I chimed in, thick disgust in my tone.

Kakuzu regarded me silently and seemed to approve of my revulsion.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I scurried over to Hidan, taking his face in my hands and wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth with the hem of my shirt.

"You didn't need to hurt him like that…" I complained, giving Kakuzu a stern look.

And they had been getting along so well...

"He's fine."

I scoffed, shaking my head. Though their incessant mutual abuse of each other was nothing new, I didn't have to like it.

Hidan, still on his knees as I stood before him, tilted his head back to give me a better look at his face. He was striking as ever in the firelight. His magenta eyes glinting alongside the flickering flames, skin warm and tinted with hues of orange, a smear of blood I'd missed.

"Mm, yeah, Kakuzu is a fucking bastard, kick his ass for me, baby."

Kakuzu chuffed in a way that made me think he found that pretty darn amusing. Hidan grinned even wider. He always just wanted to get a laugh, it didn't matter how or from whom.

"What kind of role reversal is this?" I asked, pursing my lips at Hidan. As much as I wanted to protect Hidan, it wasn't really in my wheelhouse.

"Come on, sweetheart. It really hurt. Defend my honor, baby," he whined with undertones of amusement.

"Yes, Izumi, come kick my ass," Kakuzu said with a snort, impaling a few fish onto wooden spears and sticking them into the ground beside the fire.

I lazily regarded Kakuzu with a yawn. "Maybe tomorrow, Kakuzu. I'm pretty wiped."

He scoffed. The thought was indeed absurd.

The night wound down from there. Kakuzu looked to the sky and noted a storm was making its way in and hoped to beat it to the village tomorrow. We all chatted a bit, even Kakuzu, as we waited for the fish to cook.

"Hey Kakuzu?" I asked sleepily as he handed me my fish. I felt too tired to even eat it.

"What?"

"I have a question about something Hidan said earlier."

"Wait for him to come back then. He's only taking a leak."

"Yeah, but I can't always trust him to give me an honest answer," I whined, looking up at him pleadingly.

Kakuzu glanced over at me, taking a large bite from the blackened trout. With a heavy sigh, he seemed to acknowledge my point as valid, as much as he did not want to.

"Fine. What is it?" he asked blandly, chewing loudly as he crunched into the bones.

"What's a mustache ride?"

I never did get my answer. Kakuzu was too busy choking.

"Go the fuck to bed, Izumi. Don't ask me shit like that," he eventually managed to get out.

"Stuff like what? I don't even know what it is!" I whined.

"Don't know what what is?" Hidan asked as if on cue, swaggering into the clearing from the treelines, retying his waist belt.

"Kakuzu won't tell me what a mustache ride is," I complained.

Hidan also choked, but on a laugh, and one that didn't end for a very long time. The longer it went on, the more Kakuzu's glare deepended, warning Hidan not to answer the way he likely suspected he would.

"Oh, baby girl," Hidan breathed, getting the last remnants of his laugh out as he came around behind me, resting his chin on my shoulders and arms wrapping around my waist. "I promise I will show you sometime."

"Hidan…" Kakuzu warned.

"What? She wants to know!" Hidan defended with a laugh.

"Don't you ever fucking grow a mustache. If I see even the hint of one I'll fucking rip it off. Now go to bed, both of you."

"Geez, alright, Mom. And fuck off, I'd look good in a mustache."

Hidan looked good in a lot of things, but I was not on that page.

Team Kakuzu on this one.

Not that I wanted Kakuzu to have one either. In fact, I tried to imagine if any of the Akatsuki could pull off a mustache and eventually came to the conclusion that no one could, like, in the world.

These were the thoughts I had as I crawled into my bedroll, and between the heat of the fire in front of me and Hidan behind, I found myself lulling to sleep with a half-eaten fish in hand. I vaguely heard Hidan chuckling quietly as he plucked it from my fingers. I curled into him, humming at the feeling of his lips pressed to my forehead.

He whispered in my ear, "goodnight, sweetheart," draping a heavy arm over me and pulling me against him so that I was the little spoon. He knew that was my favorite. Very safe, quite warm.

I grunted something back. It was supposed to be 'goodnight'. It was close enough.

When we got to the village the next day, both Hidan and Kakuzu were very weird about it. I had been curious and wanted to see the sights, explore a little. Perhaps, just maybe, that had something to do with everyone's initial reactions upon hearing I was coming to this particular village.

I wanted to know why. What about it made it so forbidden?

It seemed normal enough based on the few streets we rushed through to get to an inn located very close to the entrance of the village. I was barely able to see anything on the way, both Hidan and Kakuzu in a rare moment of agreement, urging that we just quickly get to the room.

"We made it before sundown," Kakuzu remarked to Hidan kind of quietly, like that was a very good thing.

"What happens after sundown?" I asked, rolling out my sleeping mat and staring up at the two.

"Nothing," Kakuzu said curtly, "it's just best not to travel at night, especially with a storm rolling in."

I eyed him suspiciously. I'd buy it if they hadn't been so freaking sketchy about bringing me along in the first place.

After finishing setting up my area, I took to the window and saw we had chosen a room that happened to have a view of absolute horse crap, butted right up to the building next to us. I scowled, more curious than ever.

It wasn't long after settling in that the sun finally touched ground and both of the guys made a motion to ready their things like they were heading out.

"You're both leaving?" I asked, surprised and unable to hide the disappointment from neither my voice or my face.

Hidan crouched down to meet my eye level, finger-combing through my hair and tucking it behind my ear as I sat on the tatami.

"Yeah, sorry sweetheart, you've got your books to keep you busy, right? I left water on the table. Oh and here, take this," he handed me a pouch of his money after taking some out for himself and stuffing it into his pocket, "you order whatever the fuck you want for dinner, alright? We'll be back really late tonight so don't stay up waiting."

There was something about his expression that made me sad but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Where are you guys going?" I asked.

"Just some shitty business we have to take care of, that's all," Hidan assured, planting a kiss on my forehead. I grabbed his wrists to keep him there.

"But what if I need you guys, where do I find you?" I asked, getting increasingly worried about being alone, not with everything that had happened lately. This question in particular seemed to put a rather pained, defeated look on Hidan's face.

He let out an unsure sigh, looking between me and Kakuzu. "Man, maybe I just shouldn't fucking go this time," he said to his partner who shook his head sternly.

"You always go, it's good for you. It's good for this," he said somewhat cryptically, tapping his temple. "It's safer for… certain people… if you do," he followed up, discreetly side-eyeing me.

But not that discreetly. What the heck is that all about?

I furrowed my brow, straining to piece together what he was trying to get at. Hidan looked disgruntled, his mouth set in a fixed line, like he wanted to argue but knew that Kakuzu was right. I just wanted to know what he was right about...

Kakuzu looked at me directly, "Izumi, you will be fine. Just stay in the room and don't do anything stupid. We will be back later."

Hidan planted one more kiss on my forehead, then stole another from my lips. He departed with an overly apologetic look that left me worrying. The room felt so empty once they'd left.

I tried to keep myself distracted. I had ordered dinner like Hidan said, and while it was exceptionally tasty, I would have very much preferred to eat dirt if it meant I'd have some company.

I found that more than ever, I hated the silence of a vacant room. I wanted to hear the shuffle of money as Kakuzu counted it, the noise of Hidan's shoes tapping out whatever song was stuck in his head.

It was too quiet, even with the rain. I hoped the guys had made it wherever they were going before the weather got really bad. It was starting to come down pretty hard and rumbles of thunder could be heard rolling in from the distance.

Reading my booking was a restless activity as the hour grew later, odd noises from down the streets began filtering in through the cracked window. It was a raucous, lively noise. People yelling and laughing, shouting obscenities and all sorts of things.

It seemed way too busy for nighttime, especially during a thunderstorm, and I was growing so ungodly curious about the nature of the village I found myself in.

With all the rain, I got the seedling of an idea in my head that if I were to go exploring just a little, I could blend right in if I wore my big, hooded poncho. It was floppy and black and made of a material that allowed the rain to wick right off it, and best of all, it basically covered my entire body and face.

Well, the later the night went on, the worse the storm got and the harder it became to focus on my book. That seedling had begun to form a nice, hearty sprout.

What could it hurt?

A lot. It could hurt a lot.

My alter was trying to get me in trouble like always. Wandering about in a strange town in my pathetically weak state would have been a very dumb decision. I couldn't get too far on foot before my legs gave out, throw in the terrible weather mucking up the roads and that distance got even shorter.

I stared back at my book, steeling my resolve to abandon such curiosities in favor of glaring at the same page I'd been on for the last ten minutes.

But it was then that everything went stark white for a flash, a shuddering crack of lightning mixed with thunder shaking the room. The lights flickered before dousing completely. Everything fell into complete darkness, myself included.

I practically jumped out of my skin from the noise before descending into a more drawn-out version of gripping anxiety. Suddenly I felt like the air had been replaced by gloom itself, none of it seemed to stick in my lungs no matter how much I breathed in.

"Hidan…?" I whispered, stupidly, I might add.

I knew he wasn't there to hear me, wouldn't come rushing to my rescue. Logically, I knew that, but the logical part of my brain was not the one driving at the moment.

"Hi… Hidan? K-Kakuzu?" I whimpered, sounding pathetic even to my own ears.

My breath was shallow and shaking. I reached out and around, patting desperately at the blankets surrounding me to remind myself that I was there in the room, not back in that endless abyss.

It wasn't really helping though, my heart had begun palpitating in a way that left me wondering how long it would be able to maintain such a chaotic rhythm before it gave out entirely.

"Hidan… help me, please," I said, beginning a repetition of it, more as a mantra to calm me down than an actual request, obviously.

My hand landed on my poncho. I gripped it and pulled it to my chest.

Let's go?

I knew I shouldn't leave… it would be foolish. Kakuzu would be furious. Probably Hidan, too.

But at least… I wouldn't be alone… and it wouldn't be dark.

Let's go.

I rushed through the darkened hallways, frantically feeling my way out, bumping into several people on the way. I got a couple weird looks as I tore from the building in a huff, bursting through the doors and leaning against the exterior wall with a heavy breath.

I spent the first five minutes just breathing deeply to collect myself beneath the dripping overhang outside of the entrance. I had the thought that maybe I could just wait there for the guys or the power to come back on.

With enough natural light from the storm and moon, as well as some gas lamps around, it was plenty bright to keep my anxieties at bay.

But now that I'd made it outside, my curiosity was insatiable.

The village was relatively small but boy was it busy. I couldn't believe the active nightlife the place had as I hit the muddy streets, especially during a storm. My head was on a swivel as I explored further into town, it seemed to get even louder as I did so.

While I didn't exactly know where I was going, I at least kept a mental track of how to get back. Looking about, there was one street in particular, just off the main drag, that drew me in.

The lights emitted from it were loud and colorful and beckoning. They teased at every inquisitive bone in my body. I was like a fly impossibly drawn to the beauty of a bug zapper. It was just too pretty, I just had to see, nevermind that it might kill me.

It shiny. Go see.

No one paid me any mind as I trudged my way over there, they all seemed to be plenty occupied with their own desires.

There were barkers shouting at people enthusiastically, urging them to check out whatever seedy establishment they stood in front of, and yeah, seedy was the perfect word. A lot of these loud, greasy men would have a woman or two behind them, either beneath the overhang or through the large 'storefront' windows, scantily clad and posing provocatively, giggling, throwing imaginary ropes at potential clients and flirtatiously drawing them in.

Part of me was disgusted and felt horrible for the women, especially the ones outside as even I was cold being fully clothed, but another part of me was just in awe of it all. I had no idea places like this even existed.

An entire street blaring with a mingling of music, lined in flashing neon lights and signs, women dancing and luring men to them like sirens, an overabundance of food and alcohol and, despite the weather, business seemed to be booming.

Something like rain, even this freezing, rumbling downpour, would not stop the type of people that came here from getting what they wanted.

I was starting to understand why Kakuzu and Hidan were acting so strangely about me going there, especially after my previous experience with seedy types. I didn't see why they couldn't just tell me though. It wasn't like it was their fault they had to do business in a place like this.

The smell of smoke filled the air so thickly that it could be tasted. In fact, there was a general haze to the entire street from all the people laughing and falling all over themselves, cigars and cigarettes in hand, typically a drink in the other.

I cautiously made my way further into what felt like the belly of the beast, taking in quite the risque and face-reddening sights. To be honest, I had no idea breasts came in so many unique varieties.

At one point I felt a hand grab my arm and I whirled around, tearing away instinctively.

"You looking for work, sweetheart?" A man asked me. He had a large, stretching smile with short, yellowed teeth. "Got an opening for your type. We can cover up these scars easy." His fingers glanced along the one on my cheek and I flinched back. "How old are you, fourteen, fifteen?"

"N-no," I stuttered out, gripping my elbows. I hated that he called me sweetheart. It sounded infinitely better coming out of Hidan's mouth.

I also hated that he thought I was so young, mostly because it disturbed me beyond belief that he thought it was okay to try to poach me at all if he really thought that, but also… did I really look that much like a child?

"Just pleasure then? No problem, sweetheart, we have some guys inside that could treat a pretty little lady like you just right," he offered, slimy as ever.

I just shook my head, speechless and wanting to get away from him.

"Ah, you're into ladies then? My girls would be happy to help," He said, smile growing.

I practically tripped over myself trying to put some distance between us, muttering a 'no, thank you'.

Why the heck are you using manners on him?

Someone needed to have them.

Okay, so I could definitely see why Kakuzu told me to stay put. The place seemed like it could be kind of dangerous for a young woman, and for anyone, really.

I gripped my poncho tightly against me as a blustering wind tore down the street, threatening to unveil me. It nearly did, tearing the hood back for a split second, allowing for a spattering of freezing wetness to drip onto my face and down my collar before I secured it back in place.

The cold had already reached my bones, even through the cloak, that was just icing on the cake.

I should have gone back. Logically, I knew this. My teeth were nearly chattering and I had seen enough new sights for one night, but I was still just a fly buzzing around, and the biggest, brightest bug zapper lay just ahead.

Must… see… so… shiny...

One particularly large and impressive establishment seemed to dominate the upcoming intersection in both volume and flashiness. The structure itself actually seemed rather rickety with it's white, chipping paint flaking off to reveal the dark deteriorating wood beneath. It was flanked on all sides by a massive wrap around porch which was flooded with people.

I stared up at the enormous, flashing neon sign, vibrant shades of blue and purple, it hung above the entrance reading "Nightshade Lounge", another smaller neon pink sign on the side of the building just said "girls girls girls" and yet another in red said "need a ride?".

And there were many girls indeed, though 'women' would be a much more appropriate term. As I slowly approached the establishment, I couldn't help but study them enviously. The grand porch was littered with them, women of all varieties and aesthetics, but they all had one thing in common.

They were all infinitely more attractive than me. I couldn't possibly compete with them. They were all done up and curvaceous and beautiful.

Even the way they carried themselves was like silk. I was just some scratchy old t-shirt with holes in it. I felt like a stick figure or some underdeveloped child next to them. A girl, certainly not a woman. A scarred and disfigured girl at that.

I suddenly felt overwhelmingly self-conscious at the thought that if Hidan travelled down this street… what would he think of women like this? Would he be reminded that they exist? Would he compare me against them in his head and realize what an idiot he'd been to be 'attracted' to me?

My teeth abused my lip at these thoughts that continued to roil in the depths of my unforgiving little walnut brain.

I had reached the front of the place, the wind continuing to whip and whirl against my cloak, I continued to clutch it shut. Staring with a heavy heart at the women who adorned the railings, leaning and dangling over them, breasts pushed out as they waved at other passerbys, I decided it was probably time to head back.

But I couldn't. I couldn't move. A sheen of silver caught my attention.

I came to an abrupt halt. The people around pushed and jostled me about in annoyance at my sudden stop. I paid them no mind, completely fixated on the man sitting on the steps, right before me, maybe only ten feet from me.

There he was, under the flickering neon lights, wrapped in a billow of smoke. Hidan was sitting beneath the overhang on the steps of the lavish, yet run down looking building. The bright neon lights backlit him, leaving his face in just shadow with soft, glowing edges. His elbows rested on wide-set knees, a cigarette in one hand pulling away from his lips as he took a long drag.

I had never seen him smoke before. He looked pretty seasoned at it though, the way he held it, inhaled. It almost bothered me how good he made it look.

He was focused blankly ahead of him, taking another drag. For a second I thought he was looking at me, but he remained motionless, staring distantly like his mind was somewhere else entirely.

My heart tightened at the sight of him. I couldn't tell what I wanted to do more, run into his arms or run away.

This didn't seem like some 'shitty business' as he'd called it… though it looked like maybe… he had just finished some business. Despite the temperature, his cloak was nowhere to be seen, his impeccable torso on display for viewing and yes, it was certainly being viewed.

I watched the way some of the women looked at him and felt a sharp pang in my heart, something so awful and unfamiliar.

That's jealousy, hun.

He ran a hand through his disheveled hair. I wondered if it was disheveled from him doing that too much, or something else.

My chest clenched at the thought... that he would leave me alone so he could be here with some strangers. Maybe it was just… just a stress reliever after what he'd been through lately, meeting a need I couldn't fulfill due to my still fragile state and his… rough tendencies.

Or maybe he couldn't get past the way I looked now. I was different from before. Maybe my scars revolted him like Kakuzu's stitches. Maybe he took one look at literally any of the ladies here and suddenly remembered what a woman was supposed to look like.

Me not being enough was a trend throughout my life, but this one stung particularly bad.

I clenched my fists and held my breath in an attempt to prevent any tears as I watched him. It wasn't just painful because of all the disgustingly vivid images my brain was conconcting, imagining what he'd been up to, it was also the look on his face.

It was lost, miles away. Torn and brooding, the heel of his palm coming up to rub at his temple after another drag from the cigarette. He winced his eyes shut for a moment as he expelled the smoke from his nostrils. They went back to an absent stare when he reopened them.

His face wasn't entirely blank though, it was almost… defeated? Anguished? It was so hard to pin, but I'd never seen him so melancholy. I almost went to him in spite of my own worries, overwhelmed with the urge to wrap my arms around him and kiss him all over his handsome face and tell him that, whatever it was, it was okay.

But I guess I wasn't the only one with that urge.

I watched, my heart contracting even more, as one particularly stunning woman sauntered over to Hidan, heels clacking, placing a rubbing hand on his shoulder and crouching behind him to wrap her arms around him from behind. She had a wistful smile on as she whispered something in his ear.

He mildly acknowledged her but I couldn't tell what he said, I only caught the slight shake of his head and the small waving gesture of his free hand. She continued to rub her hands across his chest, her fingertips grazing and scratching up his pectorals slowly.

She was an exquisite woman with a heavy chest that spilled out of her corset top and rested against his back as she reached around him. Her hair was perfectly tousled, a vibrant ochre that curled and kinked charmingly to frame her heart-shaped face.

He looked straight ahead still, eyes downcast, ignoring her but not telling her to stop by any means. Taking another drag, he seemed to sigh on the expulsion.

"Hidan…" I breathed out, feeling sick to my stomach, yet clutching at my heart subconsciously.

I was thankful it was dark and downpouring, otherwise I would have been plainly spotted. The only lights were from the many colorful neon signs which cast an odd glow across everything, reflecting brightly off all the puddles and sheens of water, slick on people's skin and clothes.

Hidan and the woman rubbing her lithe fingers down his broad chest were bathed in a red light that poured out hazily from the venue door open behind them. Even from the distance I was at, I could see her perfectly manicured nails were digging tracks into him as she moved over his muscles.

Seemed like she knew what he liked.

Hm.

Hidan looked to be in stasis as he stared ahead, mechanically smoking the cigarette dangling between his fingers. He made no move to stop the woman, in fact he didn't even seem to notice her as he fixated on seemingly nothing at all with great intensity. It was like he was trying really hard to listen to a distant conversation .

Her lips suddenly wrapped around his neck from behind and I felt my stomach twist in on itself.

Who the hell was I kidding? That was the type of woman he wanted, the type he was used to. Not some frail stick, covered in ugly marks and scar tissue. Nails chewed down to the nub. A mop of hair currently slick against me, even under the hood from the rain that seemed to come in sideways, making me look like a drowned rat.

I bit my lip to try to hide my immediate souring expression, not that anyone could even see it.

I'd made a terrible mistake. This was his territory and I should have never encroached on it. This was not anything I ever wanted to see.

I mean honestly, what did I expect to happen? Did I even have any right to be hurt or jealous? We were never "officially" together in any capacity. Maybe we'd been on our way to it, but then I fell into a coma for over two months, during which Hidan cared for me restlessly, subjecting himself to torture and experimentation just so Kakuzu could safely practice medical ninjutsu on me.

I know it was crushing for him. An oppressive, unknowingness of whether or not I would die at any given point, if it would all be in vain. I could sense his dread and anxiety even through my dreams in the depth of my sleep, it was palpable and I knew only a sliver of how he'd actually been affected.

If he wanted to write me off in favor of something like this, something detached and easy… how could I deny him that? After all the pain he put himself through for me?

Despite coming to this logical conclusion, it still hurt to see. I couldn't even slow the spread of the horrible feeling as it consumed me.

Wrapping my arms around my shoulders, I shook my head like it would jostle this image from my memory. Another powerful gust came ripping down the narrow street and without me clasping it shut at the neck, my cloak rippled and flung about, the hood whipping backwards.

Uh oh.

The world suddenly came to a grinding halt. I eked out a small noise unintentionally as I tried to grab my hood back in place, but it was too late.

That's all it took.

Hidan had lost the vacant stare in the split-second my hood fell back, instantly honing in on me with widening eyes. The woman was still attached to his neck, I'm not sure if he knew this.

He'd been mid-drag on the cigarette. His mouth fell open and the smoke just seemed to leak out of him while he expelled a queasy noise from the back of his throat as he stared at me intensely. He seemed to be in absolute, disgusted disbelief of seeing me there where I certainly should not have been.

I couldn't bite back my pained expression anymore. It must have been an ugly one because Hidan's face went completely slack and forlorn upon seeing it.

"What… are you doing here?" he asked, hauntingly incredulous. It was such a strange demeanor on him.

"I-I'm sorry. I just, the power went out… it was d-dark, and… I got scared, and... I-I missed you, and… I can... um… see you're busy." My voice sounded like I'd been turned into a freaking mouse. "I-I shouldn't have come… I'm sorry, I-I'll go." I wasn't even sure if he could hear me with how diminutive I sounded.

I gripped myself harder and turned to leave. His brows knitted painfully, his head lolling back and tilting on his shoulder.

"Sweetheart, no…no, no, no..." he croaked out a string of barely audible refutations as panic began to set in.

He looked at me with the full realization that I'd been there long enough to see plenty I shouldn't have, especially considering it was still happening. He definitely didn't realize.

"I-I have to go," I rushed out, hyper-fixated on the mouth sucking on his neck and not really wanting to continue watching.

Hidan released a breathless "fuck" with a tight close of his eyes, tipping his head back as he processed the most likely outcome of me seeing him like this.

A/N: O_O

Oh man. Stay tuned for... things.

Seriously though, mustaches are a mistake on 90% of people.

I posted a drawing of Kakuzu testing out some different facial hair looks on my tumblr (fireflylitsky) Wish would let me insert images into the story like AO3 does!