Kindred
By Sweetprincipale
Set in early Season Five. When Dracula called Buffy 'kindred'' he was doing a bit more than just saying they had a lot in common. Hungry for knowledge of herself and her power, Buffy didn't realize what kind of connection he had forged with her until he left town, and the damage was done. Hoping to break his hold over her, Buffy requests help from Spike. However, the way you break the hold of one vampire is to let another one possess you more fully. But, it'll only be temporary, right? Simple business, that's all…
Dedicated to: 666, KyanaM, Stuffn'Nonsense, Brokenblackrose, Pgoodrichboggs, Pentastic, SJwheelan, Teatime Turbulence, Susan Marie S. Three March Hares, Omslagspapper, TVD-DELENA1786, and Slayerette 16.
PART VI
"Are you- why did you do that?" They ran now, toward her place, and his was on the way.
"I thought I should. It felt like I should."
"You connected. At least, you said the words. Okay, you don't own me. You're not a vampire. I don't own you, either, stop frettin'. Look, when this is done, I'm gonna say words to the effect of - no, I don't think I'd better say them until the time. Might mess up things. Magic's a bastard, it's always listenin' in."
"When Dracula called me kindred, I repeated it. Like a question. When I said it to you- I meant it. Like - like part of the same- not family. Like togetherness. Okay?"
"Deal, fine. Look, back to what I was saying, I'll take it back when it's time. You might have to as well. I don't know now. You can ask your Watcher. Or we do it just to be on the safe side."
"Let's do that. Overkill on everything."
"My kinda girl." He grinned. She really is.
She whimpered. Oh, not good. "I complicated it."
"A bit."
"I'm sorry. I'll bring the spell tonight. We'll get done, get fixed. That's all that's left."
"No."
"What did I forget?"
"Drinks for two," Spike reminded her. They had reached his cemetery and slowed. He felt edgy, the kill hadn't fixed his craving.
"Oh goody. My least favorite part."
"Maybe he didn't do it right," Spike suggested.
"I don't want to talk about it. It was like a weird dream with bad aftertaste."
"Did you bite him?"
"No!"
"Maybe you'd like that better. Put a little hurt on," he said it casually as if he didn't care whether she used him gently or roughly extracted what she needed.
"I- I don't hurt people."
"Am I people?"
"Yes."
"Ahhh. Slayer's smarter than she looks. Good, Luv. You get it."
"Not all vamps. But you are." He was. He said she lived in both worlds. But so did he. Even more than Angel. He was the only vampire she ever saw out doing things, living, not just existing, not just feeding. The first truce they'd ever made- what was it that he'd said? He liked this world. It had- someplace in England. It had some soccer team. Dog racing. It had his beautiful Drusilla and he would do anything to save her. "I don't know why you're different. But you are."
He considered. "I'll agree with you. Met some who were demon-owned, not the other way around. I'm me. Play by my own soddin' rules," he finished cockily.
"Shoot."
"What now?"
"I should have done that last night. Why didn't you remind me?"
"Remind you to what?"
"Drink! I mean- you. I mean, your blood."
"I was recuperating from multiple brain fryings," he pointed out drily. "It's not going to mess up your life if you visit me a third night in a row to finish breakin' his hold."
"No. No, it's fine. Tonight, l-like you said. Drinks for two. Ooh! We can do the spell on you, too. Then it won't hurt to cut your arm."
"Slayer, I can take a little cut."
"But… I don't want this to hurt you. I really did mean it when I said I appreciated your help."
"Yeah? I'll tell you a secret."
"If it's about your hair color…"
"I don't like the thought of ending up on the business end of Finn's crossbow. But I was dead pleased you asked me. I think I like you, Summers. You've got… qualities."
"Gee, Spike. I'm underwhelmed," she laughed softly, but the smile in her eyes was genuine. "Can you keep a secret?"
Is it that you came when I bit you? No, she doesn't need to tell me that. She knows I felt it. He stifled a little groan of want and his jeans felt suddenly tight. "Are you sure it's something I don't already know?"
"I don't know. I don't think I knew it until- about ten minutes ago? You want me to tell you or not?"
He nodded, lips sealed.
"I think I like you, too."
This time when she went home, undressed and hung the silk scarf gently over the edge of her mirror. She showered again and actually fell asleep.
Blue mist wafted in. It was cold and pulsing. The mist kept talking to her and taking shapes, shadowy outlines of a man.
You know it was a mistake.
You made it, not me.
You don't want to trust him. He wants what I want.
Nagging fear churned and twisted in her stomach.
To bed you. Feed your hunger. Make you crave him. I would have made you a bride. Respected, cherished, loved like no other. The voice sounded pleading. Come back to me. All is forgiven.
Uh, yeah, no. Forgiven all is not. And hello? Loved like no other- except the other bunches of brides you have? No thanks. Anyway, I can't come back to you. I wasn't with you in the first place.
The voice was angry. You will suffer for him. You will suffer and burn and he will take what is his and cast you out.
And what do you do when you get tired of one of the old ball and chains? Does she die? Do you kill her? Do you just release her? Is there even alimony?
Impudent!
Okay, look, as long as you're going to be in my dreams, I want to set some ground rules. You are gonna stick to small, first-year of high school types of words, okay? Not that I'm stupid, but we could have saved everyone a whole lot of time if I had realized-
Buffy sat up with a gasp. Sunlight was streaming in. The clock on her bedside table read- ten. "Mom?"
Nothing. Well, of course, she was at the gallery by now. Riley! Jelly doughnuts and boyfriend any minute. Buffy brushed her hair and looked at her neck. No more bruises. Bite already healing but totally obvious. And the weather outside- a gorgeous, sunny late-August day. Not turtleneck weather. She tore through her closet and into a bright red halter top that exposed her back and shoulders except for two silky spaghetti strings cinching it shut at the bottom of her spine and firmly secured around her neck with a series of glossy buttons up the nape. He wouldn't think anything of this. She wore sexy shirts like this now. This is summery, fun, flirty Buffy. Normal Girl Buffy.
The phone rang and she dove for it. "Hey, Sleepy Head! I talked to your mom an hour ago and she said you were still passed out. You ready for a doughnut date?" Riley's warm voice smiled at her through the phone.
"Jellies are the way to my heart!" she said cheerily. "Are you heading over now?"
"Stopping to get doughnuts, and I'll be right there."
"Perfect. See you soon."
Buffy hung up and immediately dialled another number while sliding into a swishy skirt and strappy summer sandals.
"Hello?" Giles answered on the first ring.
"Everything went fine."
"Thank God. I've been up half the night."
"I'm sorry, I should have called. I'll call tonight. I have questions. I also - I also think I need Willow's help, or your help. It's a spell thing, and I think it actually better be you because Willow can't lie to Riley."
"What's going on? Riley? What spell?"
"He's on his way over and I want - I want to talk to you first. In person? With a spell that hides zits- or you know- two nice little holes in my neck?"
"Can't you wear some sort of garment over it?"
"I did that. I think he'll be suspicious. He was with the scarf. In case he asks to see my neck, I want backup." Spike's life depends on this.
He sighed. "Thankfully, small, localized glamors are not top drawer magic. I'll be able to oblige."
"And I need the absence of feelings spell. Last night went fine, but it took too long."
"Buffy, you can't rush these things," Giles cautioned.
"I have to rush these things! Not only that, but- I don't want Spike to have more headaches. He got at least two last night. Not even his fault."
"Well, as I haven't been to bed, I'm already dressed to go. I'll be there momentarily."
"Hold still."
"Hurry."
"Aphrodite, Branwen, Isis, Artemis, by your art," he placed his hand just above her neck, lined brow further indented, "Freya, Idun, Inanna, Astarte, shape the form to please the heart." He looked at her and then said, "Cover," in a firm voice. He stepped back with a satisfied smile."Miraculous. A perfect second skin. Now, should he touch you there, he'll feel it, so - ah- if you should-"
"We will keep the hanky and panky to a minimum," Buffy a problem, actually. She was hiding things from her boyfriend, and she also fully suspected said boyfriend to be suspicious. Which just proves- something is wrong somewhere. And dragging Giles into this, to the point where he was hiding out with her in her bedroom doing a last minute spell to help the deception. Poor Giles, he'd do anything to help her, lie for her, cover for her, spend half the night worrying about her and drop everything to do a spell, standing exhausted and disheveled in her bedroom, trying to beat the clock before Riley arrived. Had he even set foot in her room before? Maybe once or twice, but now he was in it up to his neck and- "My neck! Giles, I can still see the bite!" She gestured frantically to the mirror in her bedroom.
Giles soothed, "Well, you can see it, but I can't. No one but you can, as it is on you and glamors are meant to conceal things from the outside world, not yourself And- possibly Spike might see it, since he created the mark. I don't know."
"You're a total and complete lifesaver, you know that?"
"You've mentioned it on occasion. Good to be reminded." He tossed her a pleased smile.
"When will it wear off?" Buffy traced the bare flesh that still looked gouged to her eyes.
"It will last for a few hours. I'm afraid that's the extent of my expertise with those things. All right, do up your shirt. What else did you want to ask?" Giles turned as she fumbled with the fabric, giving out one of his "I am uncomfortable but steadfast" coughs as Buffy fastened her halter top.
"Okay, he bit me once. I didn't bite him. Or- you know, blood drinking on my part didn't happen. He and I did say the bonding words."
"Did you? Good." Giles wanted to ask a million questions and felt cheated and rushed. This was the summary of a novella of fascinating, rare, perhaps hitherto unknown events in the world of slayers and vampires! "What words did you-"
"Um. Kindred." And he called me his. My Slayer.
"You repeated it?" His eyebrows slowly elevated.
"Yes."
"You didn't do that with Dracula, did you?"
"Well… I'm not sure. He said I was kindred and I went- 'Kindred?' like I was asking a question. So, just to be safe, we did the same thing. I said it back."
"Good! And frankly, the more you do with Spike, the better. We were trying to reason this out, but this is mystical and has no exact equation to follow. Dracula is incredibly strong and powerful, he defies even the laws of death that the immortals embrace!"
"Oh no. You've gone into big drama speech. This is bad."
"We don't know if a simple two for one exchange will do it. What if two of Spike's bites don't break the prior bond because one of Dracula's is more powerful?"
"And- and do the bites have to happen on separate days?" Buffy asked.
"What?"
"Like, what if Spike bit me two times yesterday in the same session? Does that count as one 'event' or two 'bites'?"
"Oh. Oh, I don't know." Giles frowned. Such words were anathema to Watchers, and he had to say them so very frequently.
"Ugghhh."
"And Anya pointed out that the level of intimacy between the bitten and the one doing the biting is another variable that could skew the balance."
"So, what should I do?"
"How many times did he bite you last night?"
"Once."
"How do you feel?"
"Okay. Better-ish. Oh- also, either I need sleeping pills or Dracula's broadcasting in my dreams."
"What? How?"
"It could be a weird dream, or… when I'm not actively resisting this bond thingy, he can slip right in and leave a message. He told me I should stop fighting it and come back to him. I would be loved and cherished as no other."
"Oh hogwash. He has three wives already!"
"I know! I even asked him about that. I said, where does Wife A go when Wife B comes along? But, it was a dream, so it wasn't like I got any good answers. Just misty blue propaganda. Oh. Yeah, and he told me I would suffer and burn and Spike would 'cast me out'." Buffy made air quotes as she smoothed her outfit and brushed her hair down, adding another layer of protection around her neck.
"Ah. I believe he means Spike will not keep his hold on you. Perhaps he perceives that this is just an arrangement borne of necessity, not a true desire for each other."
"Hey, I never desired Cape Boy."
"No, but he desired you. Hmm. Oh dear."
"Not that."
"Oh dear Lord."
"Giles, stop, that's even worse!"
"What if this doesn't work because Spike doesn't 'desire' you like Dracula did?"
Buffy remembered the spasming, rolling, passionate kissing that had led to him finally achieving a bite, and the sounds of him moaning, the splash and trickle of warm blood on her because he couldn't keep his lips sealed, too much pleasure trying to escape. And how she hadn't been able to keep still either. And how he silently helped her, not saying anything about what she was doing, just putting himself in the right spot to make sure she got what she needed.
"It'll be fine," Buffy said softly.
"But-"
"I think it'll be fine. Trust me. Now, for the Absence of Sensation spell, do I need anything? Herbs or crystals, candles, eyes of- something?"
"Clove buds, plantain weed, and chamomile. It's already been burned, you just need to make the sacred circle using the ashes created. Here they are." He reached into his pocket and produced a sealed packet, "and stand inside the circle as you chant it. Make it big enough for Spike to join you, obviously. And here's a copy of the spell- in English- for you. "
"Buffy? Mr. Giles?"
Buffy gave him a panicked look and hissed, "How does he know?"
"My car is in your driveway," Giles reminded her patiently.
She heard footsteps on the stairs and nervously reached for her throat. Giles tugged her arm away hastily and pressed the slip of paper into her hand. "Oh. Right."
Riley's head appeared around the door, his smile stiffening as he observed a tousled looking Giles stroking at Buffy's arm and handing her something which she hastily tucked further into her palm. " Hey, guys. What's going on?"
"Giles came over to-"
"Give her a stronger herbal component to try with the cleansing ritual. This one takes several nights to complete," Giles looked at her pointedly.
"Um, great. Yeah. Thanks for-"
Riley stepped inside the room. "Why do you need a stronger ritual? Are you worse?"
"No. But- but I had a dream. Dracula was speaking to me in it. I really want him -uh- cleansed from my mind."
"Does that mean he's closer? Are you sure it wasn't just a bad dream?"
Buffy shook her head slowly. "No, I'm not sure. And I don't know about closer. Giles?"
"Anything is possible at this point, sadly." He stood at looked at the couple who seemed tentative around each other. "I'll leave you to your visit."
"Oh, I have more than enough doughnuts. Take a couple?" Riley held out the box.
"Well… jellies?" Giles asked hopefully.
"You two and your jellies. Boston cream is superior," Riley teased.
"I will give you first pick of the jellies for being so helpful and awesome, Watcher-Mine. Oh, and thanks for defending me. Riley told me how you spoke up for me when Anya lost control of her mouth."
Giles gave each of them a puzzled look. "Anya? Oh, about -erm- the feelings Riley was having?"
It was Buffy's turn to give the others a confused glance. "What feelings? All you said was he defended me."
"You said you thought it was Anya. Or Xander. It was late and you were tired, so I didn't want to go into it. No need to go into it now." He gave Giles a searing look.
"I quite agree. Buffy, I'm going to reach out to the Council, see if they have any information on Dracula's current whereabouts. Check in tonight, after your ritual? No matter the time," Giles stated the last words emphatically, squeezing her arm as he left without his pick of pastry.
Buffy nodded to him briefly.
As soon as Giles was out of the room, twin outbursts occurred.
"What was that?" Both of them hissed.
"You totally shut down Giles. What was he going to say? What did Anya say? What feelings?"
Riley didn't give her answers, too busy demanding his own, "What was that look? Why was he in your room, looking at you like that? You call him in the middle of the night?"
Buffy gave him a look that shouted, "Are you stupid?" But she retained civility when speaking, even though her voice was sharp. "That look was the one he gives me when I'm worried, and call when the ritual is done literally means call when it's done so he can know how things are going. You called, too! I didn't call him last night, I didn't call anyone, I didn't want to wake anyone up! But if he asks me to call, I will. He's my Watcher."
"And Watchers outrank boyfriends?"
"Were you this jealous last year, or is this a new thing? Because I have to tell you, not loving it. Not sexy. Not attractive."
"I'm not jealous of him like that. Although, having a guy come into your bedroom to give you magical herbs and -"
"Stop. You're crossing into stupid territory. And actually, I can't remember Giles' ever- oh wait, no he did come see me one time in my room. I was in bed. Angel was here, too." Riley looked mortified. She rolled her eyes."And my mom. I was sick, Riley! I had gotten so sick from fighting with a demon that they didn't think I would make it. They were here because they wanted to help me, trying to give me an antidote. Today, I overslept and was getting ready, so Giles came up when he got here. I asked him to come on up. Because he's my friend. He's family. I sort of get you being jealous of Angel. I don't like that, but I get it. I don't like you being jealous of my friends."
Riley sighed, taking her hand. "Jealous isn't the right word. I feel… like I'm second string. They get called on first. You immediately turn to them for help. I'm- I'm the afterthought."
"That is so not true. When I went to Giles, you were the first one I talked about. I said you would freak. And look, I'm psychic, because here you are, freaking out, and not answering my questions. Why did I need defending last night? What feelings?"
"It wasn't me! They were joking around about this thing, not taking it seriously. Willow even said something about Dracula sounding like a great name for a vacuum attachment, gets hard to clean bloodstains out of the- you're laughing at this?" He shook his head as Buffy snorted.
"Drac would hate that, and I love Willow for mocking the big jerk. Inappropriately timed humor is like a Scooby defense mechanism, Riley. Have you ever watched me patrol?"
"All the time."
"I talk the whole time. I joke. I'm facing death! I have to laugh."
"You have to laugh?" Riley's jaw dropped and hung there. "How can you… you could die! How is that funny?"
"Well… I already had to die when I was sixteen. I got back up," Buffy shrugged uncomfortably. "I'm not going to live a long time. I can let it eat at me. Or I can laugh."
"Or you can find a way to stop it!" Riley took both her hands. "It kills me to hear you say-"
"The truth?" Buffy whispered gently. "I'm fighting as hard as I can to stay alive. I do whatever it takes. Even if you don't like it."
"The least you can do is let me help you, then."
"I will. I thought you did help last night? You were research guy. Which reminds me, why-" No! No, shut up, shut up, shut up! Don't ask why he went to Spike's to ask about Dracula. Then he'll know you went to see Spike this week and we ratchet up the level of bad.
"What?"
"Which reminds me that I haven't even seen Xander or Anya yet to tell them about any of this. I know you guys filled them in. And Tara! See, you're not an afterthought, honey. It's just everybody has different schedules. And when you start as a TA in two weeks, and I have classes, we'll be on campus together all day. But our schedules will probably still be different, huh?"
"Sadly," Riley leaned forward. "Forgive me for freaking out?"
"Forgiven." She kissed him with a small smile. Which led to a longer kiss. Hungrier kiss.
And stopping. "I'm starving," Buffy interrupted the embrace as he reached to caress her shoulder.
"Ooh, let me take care of that for you," Riley nuzzled her ear.
"No, I'm literally hungry. I must be burning so many calories right now. I can hardly hold still."
"Who says we have to hold still?"
There was a playful scuffle, but Buffy ended up stealing the box of doughnuts and fleeing downstairs, giggling. "It's practically lunchtime. You have to fill me on research. I want to see if we can hang with Willow, too. Maybe she could create some spell if Giles and Tara helped her."
Riley followed her down, laughing as she babbled and munched. He loved this happy side of her. No doom and gloom, no gallows humor.
But she… doesn't love me. And I don't think she even knows. She thinks being there is enough. But you can't stand at the door. You gotta be let in.
His eyes widened with a wince. Like vampires into your home. Must be issued the invite. "Hey, Buffy?"
"Mmm? OJ?"
"Sure. Buffy, do you-"
"Do I what?" Buffy turned back to him, bottle now in hand, fridge door closing behind her. His face was apprehensive.
"Do you- think two doughnuts and a glass of juice is a balanced breakfast? How about lunch on campus?" I can't ask. If the answer is no… She loved a demon more than me.
"Best boyfriend ever," Buffy pecked his cheek.
"Yeah. So you tell me," he murmured.
"I know how to do spells, Buffy, I even know how to create some simple ones, b-but I wouldn't even know how to begin to do this. The first law of magic is the exchange. Like- if you want gold coins to pop out of your body, be prepared to give up something incredibly valuable, like your sight. You could be rich and blind."
"What's the going exchange rate for one Transylanvian egomaniac?" Buffy kidded.
Willow and Tara, sitting across from her and Riley at the campus cafeteria, didn't laugh. They exchanged cowed, nervous glances with each other and then looked at their plates.
"Not funny? I thought it was funny," Buffy mumbled.
"It was!" Willow hastened to reassure her. "It's just- we don't know. We were talking about it last night, and it got… tense."
"Riley told me Anya had-"
"I didn't tell you, you guessed," Riley cut her off.
"And you didn't tell me that I guessed wrong," Buffy pointed out. "Sorry for the tense, guys. I think... " Buffy hesitated. Keep Riley away from Spike. Get Spike to finish this "exchange." More lies and diversions. "I think we may have to go the route of our helpful local vampire. But I could give it one more week. Riley- Giles mentioned he would contact his old Watcher buddies in the Council. Do you think there are any guys from the Initiative project who could help you find where Dracula is? Maybe they have some top secret surveillance that they'd be willing to make a little less top secret?"
"Graham might. I'll reach out. A week?"
"I think a week is about all I can take of this," Buffy laughed nervously, piling her hair up on her head, and rising. "Can't sit still."
"You totally seem better than yesterday. Yesterday she almost uprooted a tree," Willow informed Tara in a stage whisper.
"The um- spell. Cleansing ritual. Helped." Buffy said quickly. "But it's obviously starting to wear off." And it was. Oh damn. I'm a junkie. I'm a vampire junkie. No, I'm not, I'm just… there's just one that I wanna see again. Right now. But I can't. Because that would look pathetic, rushing over there and begging to be bitten, and I don't want to feel those things and I don't want to be bitten in the first place and oh, drinking blood- "I think I have to barf!" The reeling carnival in her mind had reached her stomach with high-speed fury. "Sorry, guys. I'm bailing."
"W-want us to help you get home?" Tara offered.
"Doctor's?" Riley suggested.
"Tums?" Willow dug into her purse.
"It's just… the bond, or resisting it, makes you hyper. The ritual helped me get a break, I guess. Then I had a weird Dracu-dream, and I guess he's trying to muscle in on my brain and my body."
"What kind of dream? A Slayer dream?" Willow demanded.
Riley shook his head. Those are things. "Yeah, what happened?"
"He… told me I should come back to him. I would be loved like no other. I told him to get off and I also told him he really needs to work on his word choice if he's going to hang out in my head."
Light laughter erupted from three of the foursome. Riley closed his eyes. "You can talk to him in your dreams? Like have a conversation?" That's not possible. That's insane. This whole thing is insane.
"Well, I tried, but I don't know how much transmits and how much I just 'receive'," Buffy explained with a shrug, nervously rubbing at her neck and shoulders. Her skin prickled all over. Standing still this long was killing her. She had to move again.
Riley apparently felt the same desire to move. He rose from the chair, face tight. "I have to call Graham. Call me tonight?"
"Sure, absolutely." She bussed his cheek and brushed her hand down his arm, ending with a tiny squeeze of his hand.
As Riley walked off, Buffy ran off in the opposite direction, followed by her slower friends. "Can you lower the pace to sidekick speed?" Willow begged. "Ooh, side stitch! Full belly … running. Bad."
"Where are we going?" Tara panted.
"I don't know. I just- I wanna move around. Everything is too hot and too tight. I need a rubber band. Tara?"
Tara slid an elastic band off of her wrist and lent it to Buffy, who put her hair up into a bun. "That's a little better," she sighed, rolling her neck and shoulders, trying to relieve the tension.
"Hey, Buffy? Is your neck- is he able to like- bite you in your sleep? Like- like dream bites or something?" Willow backed away slightly, looking panicked. Tara let out a gasp.
Buffy guiltily grabbed her neck. Her halter top was twisting, revealing one sliver of a fresh bite. "The glamor was supposed to last a few hours. I guess it has been a couple," Buffy looked at her best friend and one of her rapidly becoming best friends. "I don't want to lie to anyone. But I have to."
"You went down to see Angel?" Willow squeaked.
"Shh! No. It's not Dracula, either. I'm trying to break the hold. I'm getting help. If Riley knew, he'd kill the vampire who is helping me, and that's not okay. It's not fair to get killed for an action that might literally save my life, or at least my sanity." He's all about trying to help save the crazies…
Willow and Tara exchanged a look. "Giles knows?" Willow asked.
Buffy nodded slowly.
"But you couldn't tell me?" Willow's voice shrank.
"I don't want you to have to lie for me. You spent all of high school doing that," she took Willow's hand as she resumed pacing, now beside a different tree on the campus. "And Tara… what you're probably thinking of me now." Buffy winced.
"Trying to save Spike's life is noble, I guess. In the circumstances. He can't defend himself and Riley would be mad at him for biting you, but the bite would be to help you, and you asked for help. I'm not really seeing the bad. I wish I didn't see the need to lie, either, but I… I guess I can. Riley's so sweet to you- but he has one very dark spot in his personality."
Buffy tuned out a lot of what Tara had said. "I didn't say Spike!"
"Oh. I assumed. Who is it? Or are you not telling?"
"I'm not telling," Buffy hated this most of all. Willow looked surprised and hurt. "I can't put him in danger. It's not okay. It's… it's going to be over soon, I promise. I will tell you everything. Anything you want to know." Images of her writhing under him flashed into her mind. Almost anything. "Wait, what dark spot?"
Tara stammered and shook her head.
"No, I'm serious. Aside from being jealous, which I kind of get."
Tara looked around nervously. "Possession, Buffy."
"Riley's possessed? Man, Drac gets around."
"No! That's the dark spot. He doesn't even realize it. He knows he loves you. He wants to protect you. He wants… to possess you. Own you. Control what you do and how you do it, because he thinks he knows the best way to keep you safe. And he wants to keep you safe because he loves you. It m-might be from pure motives, I understand that. He's not a bad person," Tara babbled nervously, not looking at Buffy while she spoke.
Buffy didn't respond.
"I'm sorry," Tara whispered.
"Buffy, say something," Willow prompted hesitantly.
"But… he's normal. I'm over the bad boy thing," Buffy sounded distant, confused.
"He's not bad!" Tara reiterated.
"M-maybe that's how normal guys feel about their girlfriends? They want to protect them from monsters who want to murder them and turn them into undead sex slaves?"
"That sounds like my gut-reaction. Murdering and slavery of any kind, right there, yes. Absolutely. Protect me from it. Help me fight the guy doing it. Yep. Yep."
"Buffy? You sound like you're trying to convince yourself."
"If - hypothetically, Tara got bit by Dracula, and let's say… Harmony was around. Harmony hates Dracula. She's willing to bargain for something she wants in exchange for helping you, and you can use a spell to make sure that Harmony will play nice, completely nice… would you let her break the hold?"
"Well, it's not up to just me. One, does Tara want that? And two, if my choices are losing my lover forever or letting her use a pretty unorthodox- not to mention curvy, blonde, and air-headed- cure, I have to pick the cure. I can't live without her. I can't live without her being happy. If she wants the cure, I help her get it, no matter what the cost, as long as no innocent lives were lost. Because Tara would hate that." Willow gave her a look of utter adoration that was returned in spades.
"Baby," Tara cooed, and Buffy had to smile as the conversation derailed into hugging. And then kissing. Serious kissing.
"Whoa! Hey, time out! I'll let you two head home."
"I don't think we understood the question," Willow pried her lips off of Tara's.
"You did. If you really love someone, you'll do anything to help them get better, as long as it's what they want and no one gets hurt. Especially if you only have two options, and one of them is pretty impossible."
"Maybe he's afraid biting will hurt you. I mean, it is how vampires kill people."
"It didn't hurt. Not at all." Buffy regarded them calmly. "Promise not to tell him?"
"We promise," both of them agreed, though they looked uncomfortable.
Buffy walked off, still moving quickly, but the bounce was gone from her step.
"What happened?" Tara murmured.
"I think she just realized that her normal guy who's the good guy- might have something bad inside that she can't deal with. Buffy can deal with a lot. Her first big love wasn't baggage free. In fact, I would give it a heavy nine on the misery-meter. If Angel's not helping her, and Riley doesn't want her to get help, even if it's the best option… oh. That's gotta be a bad feeling."
"I hope Spike cheers her up," Tara whispered.
"It can't be Spike. He can't hurt people."
"I know. She said it didn't hurt."
To be continued...
Author's End Note: Thank you again for those of you who are reading the "Spuffy" novel CrossRealms:Shattered by S.C. Principale. Definitely a closed bedroom door sort of book- just fair warning.
