A/N: days have been swell for me. How are you all doing? Baby is perfect and healthy but unfortunately growing up too fast for my liking! Thanks for being so supportive and understanding. Happy Holidays!
WARNING: this is a filler chapter, not going to be more than four pages long. RATED M stuff next chapter, which will be out by Monday. Much love to you and yours!
…
Tony took to Tina and Tim swell, needing no prolonged introduction or awkward parental push to get them going. This was only his second time seeing them, but he acted as though they were long lost pals. "He's not so shy anymore, eh?" Angie bumped me softly with her hip, nodding in their direction sprawled out on the living room floor. "That got anything to do with you?" I shrugged noncommittally and continued to dry the dinner dishes. I would never take credit for anything Tony ever did- Alice and her husband were too quick on the trigger to allow anyone else to. "How was your Christmas? And the dinner party? You never said anything wayside."
I rolled my eyes just thinking about it. "Christmas Eve was a blast with Tony." I started off with the only positive answer I could give to her questions, but she didn't let me continue.
"And his dad?" Angie urged.
"No." Was my only reply.
"Well why not?" She looked absolutely miffed at the idea that I wasn't deeply, madly in love with that man by now. "What'd he do this time around?"
"It wasn't what he did… I guess it was what he didn't do." I licked my lips in recollection, but pushed the concern away and focused on the dishes again. "He just wasn't present, you know? His mind was somewhere else all morning and night- and believe me, Tony's dad spared no expense at the gifts he bought. But really, Edward didn't even notice the awestruck look on Tony's face when he opened each gift. What's the point of it?"
Angie stayed quiet for a moment, obviously considering her response. She knew firsthand how touchy the subject was, and I knew she was trying to respect my boundaries as well as look out for my best interests. "Honey… you gotta look at it differently, like from his point of view." I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from snapping at her- she was a good friend with good intentions, but when it came to Edward Cullen no one could see anything from his point of view. "He's a single dad, and a business owner right- that's a tough situation! And didn't you say the mom ran out? Sounds like a lot to juggle to me. Give 'em a break, for Pete's sake."
I huffed nastily but said nothing in return. Sure, it was a lot to deal with- but here I was, putting a stop on my personal life to be with his son and he didn't even have the time to sit with us? "I guess." I let out finally, not wanting her to continue with this line of conversation. "And don't even get me started on the dinner party- it was a disaster, literally."
Angie smirked over at me as she sealed up the last of the leftovers. "You can say that again- Beth was even more of a bitch than she usually is."
"Sweet old Beth?" I mocked her purposely, knowing how much it upset her to hear anything positive said about Beth McLeary, her poisonous mother-in-law. "That bad?"
I followed Angela to the living room where we plopped down together on her worn-out sofa set, having a front row view of the mess the kids were currently making. "Bad don't begin to describe it- first off, Beth doesn't allow shoes in her house anymore but I didn't know that. Mind you, I didn't have time to get a pedicure for the holidays- there was so much to do and not enough time." Her face was all scrunched up in frustration, though I couldn't see why. Angie wasn't a materialist or a high-maintenance kind of girl, never had been and never would be, so why was it such a big whoop this time? "Well, Beth decides she's gonna take a peek at my toes- and guess what she says?"
I sent her a funny look, not really wanting to know what rude remark Beth had for my best friend this time, but I knew Angie wouldn't rest until I heard the entire story. "What?"
"She had the nerve to say 'oh, Angela, looks like someone isn't paying any attention to herself anymore'. Like, really? I gave your son two beautiful children, and you have the nerve to say something so rude? Anyway- that's not where it ends…" I sort of zoned the rest of it out and merely stared at her lips moving back and forth. Was I ready for rude grandmothers and domineering in-laws? If not, would I ever be ready? Especially in Tony's situation… I wasn't actually married into the family or anything, I was just some outsider. Was that what I had to look forward to for the rest of my life, or at least for the rest of Tony's existence in my life?
Angie was in the middle of another one of her rants when it suddenly hit me- she was perhaps the most noble, honest women I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Any question I ever asked her was never dodged or ignored; she just wasn't that kind of gal. I popped the question so abruptly and so suddenly that it took both of us off-guard. "Is it worth it?"
"What do you… what, Bella?" Her squinty little eyes behind her square glasses scrutinized me, so surprised that I would ask an absurd question like that. Usually I coaxed her by teasing and mocking, but I never actually delved into her personal situations. This time, I felt like I had no choice. "Is what worth it?"
"This…" I gestured around us with both of my hands, gathering my legs under me. "Is this worth it, you know- in the end, is all of Beth's bullshit and all the money down the drain and the stress you and Ben go through everyday… is that worth it?" I couldn't think of a clear, concise way to word my question because I hadn't ever planned on asking her something like that. Bella didn't let her guard down or her curiosity out to play…. My dad didn't appreciate that in little girls, and so I sort of blocked it out. But now, I just couldn't help but ask.
"You're asking if all that's worth Tristina and Timothy?" There was almost a chuckle in her voice as she reiterated my mixed up messages.
"Well, yes- and everything else as well." I shifted uneasily at the deepened way she was looking over at me, as if she knew what I really wanted to ask. Do you still enjoy life and love yourself, even after working for and looking after everyone else?, but that would've been rude even to my own ears.
She took a deep breath in and slumped against the couch comically, as though the weight of the world kept her rooted to those very cushions she lounged on. "I suppose, but it depends on the day. Sometimes I wake up loving every minute of the day, and sometimes I wanna lock myself in the bathroom and never come out. But that's real life, Bella- its not all butterflies and ice cream sundaes." I laughed at her lame attempt at humor, a trait I would never tire of from her. "And I get why you are the way you are, your dad didn't take the time to show you how to love someone… I'm not even sure he knows how himself."
The cavity in my chest where a pulsing, lively heart should have been wept silently at her words, which were so brazen but so honest that they rang out through my head a million times over. She was nothing if not honest, and I had expected that. "But, Bella, don't let that stop you. You'll learn! If I can do it anyone can do it, right?" Angie smiled so sincerely, so beautifully, that I couldn't help but smile back. "And to be honest… look, there's 365 days in a year, right?"
I nodded slowly, not sure where she was going with a science question like that. Angie sat up at once, looking like a woman with a message. "Let's say a solid 361 days are filled with frustration from work, the kids crying, screaming, throwing fits, being sick, Ben arguing with me about any little thing, bills piled high, stupid in-laws; but those other four days are sweet smiles, tiny footsteps running through the house, hugs that make pain go away, giggles loud enough to wake the neighbors, Ben peeking his eye open in bed and telling me he loves me for the millionth time, and somehow it feels like the first time he did seven years ago. Bella, those four days are pure bliss."
For the first time in years, or perhaps the first time ever, I was suddenly envious of her hectic, frazzled life. Perhaps with chaos came love, and with difficulty came happiness… perhaps right there with infuriating Edward and my uncertainness with Tony was right where I was suppose to find it.
I could only smile, because none of the various ways I played my response out in my head sounded true enough.
"So yeah, every single fucked up part of my day is worth that."
A/N: that was from the bottom of my heart! Seriously, next chapter will be up by Monday! Hopefully you all stay tuned in, and review!
ALSO- remember to look up "Miss Nae Malfoy" on Facebook and 'like' it. Trying to stay in touch with my readers at all times!
