Blog Two: Route This

My family and I went on holiday once. My mother decided she wanted a break, and found some brochures to help us decide. The one pamphlet we all gushed over was the one for Quest Island in the Sevii's: it promised white sandy beaches, cloudless skies and cocktails by the pool – we were sold.

It took three days to get there. We had to taxi down to Pallet, catch the ferry, stop off at Cinnabar, got held up for a day, ferried to Knot Island, then took nearly another full day to get there. It was long, tiring, stressful; we needed a holiday more than ever, and were so pleased to finally get there.

And it rained. Endlessly.

The skies were grey the whole week we were there. The beaches turned brown and soggy. Tentacool got washed into the pool. My parents spent a few thousand dollars on that trip, and all we did was make use of the hotels minimal facilities.

Why am I telling you this? Well, in the weeks leading up to Registration Day, the league bombards you with ads: hip, cool kids with Charmanders fighting trainers on the side of the road; a pretty girl with a Squirtle locked in battle with Misty; the two eventually squaring off in explosion fuelled fights at the Pokémon League. They make it look as epic as possible to entice you into signing up. I am so pleased that I never brought into the hype, because after two days on the road, I'd be pretty disappointed if that was what my idea of travelling was.

Things have been fairly slow so far. Mostly I have just been getting used to living in a tent on the side of the road. It's a very different way of living compared to having a nice bed in a nice house, but it's growing on me – a bit.

Though I am not expecting any explosions or car chases like you see in those journey dramas on TV, I will admit I was perhaps expecting to have more luck so far. My two days so far have not quite hit the highs of my first day.

Firstly, I caught a new Pokémon. I'm very pleased to have a Mankey on my team alongside Paige. I decided to name him Darwin, cause, ya know, brains beat brawn and all that. I am still getting used to having a second Pokémon to train; he is more aggressive and eager to defeat opponents than Paige is. Hopefully the influence of a kick ass bitch like myself will keep him in line soon enough!

Secondly, I had my first battle, against none other than Chloe fricking Carmichael. She was filming her little show, and I dropped by to wish her well and – god, I can't even type that without cringing. What actually happened was that I got dragged along to the Trainer House by her co-stars (Damian and Lachlan – let's just say, I know which of them has a better chance of winning), and there I proceeded to kick her perfectly crafted behind.

You would think that a show about Pokémon trainers would cast someone who knew not to challenge an experienced Flying type with a Grass type you got five minutes before the battle, because that's what Carmichael did. We wiped the floor with her within minutes, it was glorious! You should have seen the look on their producers face – I'm pretty sure Red and Giovanni wouldn't have looked at each other as filthily as she did to me.

I walked out of the building feeling like I'd just sniffed something white and powdery behind the bike shed. But I'd only inhaled the sweet smell of victory: it may not be my official first step (that's reserved for Brock), but I couldn't help being pleased that I had defeated Chloe and proved my point so early in this game. The rest of Kanto should be a breeze!

Some things weren't so great. I ran into my high pitched, pasty little plague of a neighbour Mitchell. He's just left on his journey as well, and I kind of ditched him before he latched himself onto me like a disease (Don't worry, gentle readers: he won't read this. I don't think he knows how to turn lights on let alone a computer).

Then there was leaving home. It was quick but painful, liking ripping of a band aid. Except this was a band aid that had been attached to you for 13 years, a part of you for so long you don't know who you are without it (that actually happened to a girl at my school; let's just say it wasn't a pretty sight). It was emotional as I waved goodbye to my parents and little brother, but it is a necessary sacrifice, and they encouraged me to go. As I walked away, I had to wonder if I would ever see them again, if the pain would ever go away.

It did half an hour later, when the pain in my heart was replaced by the pain in my legs.

Consider this my first travel tip to any aspiring trainer: walking along a twisting, turning, sloping route isn't as fun as you may believe.

After two days, I'm shattered. I've been marching towards Pewter City, hunting through the tall grass for wild Pokémon to add to my team. I came close to catching a Rattata on multiple occasions, yet all I have to show for my efforts are blisters upon blisters and several cuts from some rather spiky hedges I passed. Most of them have just fled, or I've gone in too strong and knocked them out. I actually got so annoyed I simply yelled at one Rattata to get in the PokeBall. It instead peed on my tent and ran off.

My team building isn't going great, but I've at least been able to test Paige and Darwin. The three of us have had some impressive battles – well, as impressive as newbie trainer battles can be. They longest fight was probably two minutes, and I'm simply facing a bunch of little boys with Caterpie, shorts hitched up so high once can't help but wonder about the future of Kanto's population.

None of the battles have given me the same glorious feeling crushing Chloe did. I am so tired, my knees and back ache so much, but I am also itching to get back out there and keep fighting. As I prepare to venture into the tall and daunting Viridian Forest, I am keeping an eye out for a good battle. I may not be expecting fireworks quite so soon, but a girl needs a challenge. If I'm going to conquer Kanto, I need something a bit more substantial than a Weedle to battle.

Well, it's getting late and I need to go find some miracle cure for blisters on the internet. Farewell for now!

Alaska A.