Dipping beneath a heavy gust of frigid wind that threatened to throw his momentum and balance off, Levi activated his gear's engine to avoid being crushed between enormous fingers that grabbed frantically at any movement in their vicinity, tearing apart whatever they could catch and hauled it towards a menacing cave of razor-sharp teeth. Levi shifted his body as his ODM gear coughed from the lack of fuel. He lost altitude and began dropping, his fall growing less and less controlled on account of the strong tucks and tears of the freezing north wind, pushing him down towards the giant paws huddled together expertly, ready to catch its meal.

Blades prepared, Levi slashed through fingers thick as tree trunks the moment they began closing in on him. The titan's roars were ear-shatteringly loud while it swatted furiously at the minuscule man. As Levi distracted the titan with his aerial acrobatics, letting the wires and momentum of his body lead him and the titan into a dizzying tango, two other scouts came up behind the giant and drilled their sabers through its nape. Feeling the chilly air behind him shift into a skin-scalding heat from the deteriorating titan, Levi returned to the chaotic battle before him, letting his gear carry him past the gory mess left behind, forcing the need to wipe his face, hands, and blades to the back of his mind.

He could go crazy once he got back home. He could clean his gear and wash his clothes and shower in blistering hot water and let the layers of dirt melt off his skin. Nothing made him feel cleaner than the sunburn-like tenderness left on his skin after a scalding shower.

But, that was still a long way from now, assuming he survived the expedition at all.

Trying to navigate through all the trigger-happy brats on their first mission, hooks grazing inches off of comrades' limbs and blades flailing like the flapping of headless chickens' wings, made him feel like he was surrounded by blind toddlers learning to walk while strapped to machine guns. At this rate, it seemed just as likely to be struck down by friendly fire as by a Titan.

He'd already explained all of this to the brats, so why the hell weren't they concentrating harder? If they went on like this, someone could get seriously injured.

Avoiding another stray clasp, he barely managed to change his direction in time to lock onto the Titan in his aim. Luckily, the latch caught, and he was able to get an okay footing on the beast's arm, all though, a little lower than he had hoped. He wasted no time before hurling himself closer to its neck, freeing his hooks before embedding them into the skin between the monster's shoulder and neck. Levi had never been one to enjoy killing, so he made quick work of cutting through its nape before swinging off to the next one.

Despite the chaotic labyrinth of hormones, stray reelers, and sharp blades, the battle was nothing out of the ordinary for the more seasoned scouts. The sticky remains of titan goo and the empty spaces left in the lines from the fallen never changed.

The gunk was still disgusting and there would still be friends and family waiting anxiously inside the gates, about to get the worst news of their lives.

Just another day in the fucking Survey Corps.

However, if there was ever an opportunity to save just one mother from getting the heartbreak of a lifetime, he would seize that chance without a moment's hesitation, which was why he shifted mid-air, ignoring the sharp hook that grazed his cheek and left a burning sensation trailing down his jaw to save a particularly overconfident zit-faced idiot that was about to become a titan grub.

Fucking Bayer. Levi had already told Erwin that the brat was bad news.

Levi darted out his right clip to attach to a tree about fifty feet away, wheeling it back in to get to the apparently suicidal teen quickly. As he curved his body, willing the spindle to move in the direction he wanted, the teenager looked over his shoulder.

A slight frown glazed over Bayer's face as he noticed one of his superiors coming to his rescue, about a moment before he noticed the massive columns of teeth rapidly approaching.

As they all had seen way too many times on this mission, the kid unhooked his wires from whatever random surface they had been connected to long before having a plan where to aim next. Realizing this, he spread his arms out and unleashed them again as soon as they had wheeled back into the hilt in a fit of panic.

A sharp piece of metal whizzed right past Levi, grabbing onto the branch of one of the trunks close to his own anchor point. Before he could properly brace himself, he'd swung way past it, and eventually, as Levi begrudgingly had foreseen only moments before, their cords crossed. The combination of forces made both scouts jerk back and spin, entangling their coils while effectively pulling Bayer out of the titan's way. Eventually, they hung there, face to face and stuck, dangling uselessly in a knot between two trees.

'Not how I had planned it, but, eh...' Levi shrugged inwardly before the beast shifted direction and tossed its giant body towards them, showing athleticism rarely observed amongst the clumsy hulks.

'Okay, you pig-faced bastard, new plan, then.'

"Bayer!" Levi roared, hoping he recalled the young soldier's name correctly as he started rocking them back and forth on their braided lines. The strawberry blonde teenager peered dazedly over at him. "The moment I sever my ropes, I need you to hurl yourself into the woods and grab onto whatever you can. Then you'll stay there until you've fixed your gear. Got it?"

The teen's eyes widened in terror and he jerked wildly in a futile attempt of getting loose, panic taking over his body moments before Levi impatiently cut the lines with his swords, immediately dropping towards the ground.

Fuck.

Bayer's frantic spasms had thrown off their course. Levi had tried to force their momentum so he would be able to reduce his fall by lodging his blades into one of the trees but instead, he was flung harshly against the tree trunk way sooner than he had anticipated, feeling his chest cave in with a sickening crack from the rough impact.

'Maybe the snow will cushion the fall, at least,'' he thought in a rare bout of optimism, moments before he smashed through a thick branch hip first, sending him spinning wildly. The collision was shortly followed by the back of his head slamming into something hard, tossing him forward, and changing his direction.

Finally, the ground came closer, but the stars in his vision made him strangely unsure if he was looking up or down before the deep blanket of ice crystals welcomed him with the most violent and chilling hug he'd ever been enveloped in.

Ouch.

Soon enough, the glittering white around him turned a menacing black.

He had no idea how long it had been when he first woke up. His eyes opened slowly, his vision blurring in and out of focus as he tried to make sense of where he was. His whole body felt stiff and burned from the freezing moisture seeping into his clothes. He tried to lift his head but immediately laid it back down when a heavy ache exploded in the back of his skull, radiating pain down his back, shooting through his body. A low groan forced its way out of his throat. White dots waltzed in front of his eyes, and if he stared up into the dark, gray skies, it made him feel like he was about to throw up. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. His midsection spasmed as the air shallowly made its way into his lungs, but he pushed past it, inhaling the frigid air greedily. He was already lightheaded enough without being deprived of oxygen as well.

The snow-covered trees looked black underneath their heavy cloaks of glitter, giving a serene appearance to the aftermath of Chaos. It weighed the branches down, making some of them bow down before Levi, some nearly touching the ground. The storm had let up somewhat, but he knew from the tiny icy particles the wind whipped across his face that it would be back soon.

Gritting his teeth, Levi braced himself onto his elbows in the deep, powdery snow. He closed his eyes and willed away a sudden bout of nausea rising in his gut and the dim scenery spun crazily in his vision. His arms were already shaking with fatigue. Levi repositioned himself a little bit so that he was able to prop his back against the tree he was lying next to. Likely the one that so graciously broken his fall two or three times before he hit the ground.

Now, without having to deal with the tedious task of holding himself up. Levi could get a better look at himself.

Levi tugged off his gloves and raised his arms to get a look at his fingers. Involuntarily, he made a pathetic whining noise as his pulsating hands met the biting air. They were a pinkish-red color, and moving them was like navigating through quicksand. They throbbed as if sprained. Tentatively, he moved his hands to massage his stinging cheeks, which were damp and rubbery to the touch. The only part of him that felt warm was underneath the slow stream of hot crimson that ran down the left side of his face, trailing from a deep gash that he traced to his forehead.

'I need to get back before my fingers freeze the fuck off,' he thought sluggishly.

Forcing his numb fingers back into the gloves, he moved to pull his legs out of the thin cover of drizzle that had gathered on his clothing while he was unconscious. That was when a new problem arose.

His knee was bent in a terribly awkward position and his pant leg was drenched in hot, trickling crimson.

Levi didn't need to have any kind of medical knowledge to see that something was broken. Small specks of blood splattered underneath the twisted limb, and despite everything in his mind and body pleading him to leave it alone, he still patted down his pant leg until his hand rested upon something hard poking out of his leg, leaving a slight tear in his pant leg.

Taking a deep breath, Levi rolled up the fabric until a deep, nearly black hole appeared a little above his knee. In the midst of bloodied, torn muscles and tendons, a sharp piece of bone poked out. A surge of dread ran along his spine, his stomach coiling in another uncomfortable attack of sickness.

Letting out a low growl, Levi punched the ground. His entire body was aching to a point where he could hardly feel the severity of his mauled leg. He needed to come up with a plan to get back to the others. If he kept lying around feeling sorry for himself, he'd be buried alive once the storm fully set in, if the blood loss and the intense chill didn't kill him first.

A few years ago, he might have decided to stay put and let himself freeze to death.

However, as much as he always had had people to protect, now, the number of people depending on him had become innumerable. He might not have the will to keep living for himself (he never had- what worth did his life have over the life of his family and friends?) , but somehow, at some point, the hope and survival of an entire nation had been placed on his shoulders. The weight of it still tempted him to close his eyes and let nature take its course.

But he couldn't. There were so many people depending on him. His life wasn't for him to give up. It belonged to the people, to Erwin, the corpse, anyone that was not Levi.

Letting out a shrilling sigh, a heaviness surrounded him that he couldn't remember having felt since he left the underground; a kind of exhaustion and life-wariness produced from living in filth, lethargy, and sickness. A life of starvation and impoverishment, without natural sunlight, clean water, or clean air.

Maybe he should get a few minutes of shuteye before he began moving. As little sleep he was used to running on, he had hardly had more than a nap since leaving the Walls. It was at times like this he really had to pay for his poor sleeping habits; times where he got himself messed up and in a state of emergency and needed to stay sharp and on guard.

Or maybe it was his insomnia that caused him to end up in these shitty circumstances in the first place.

Eventually deciding to take accountability for his own poor customs, he gritted his teeth together and tore his back away from the trunk that supported his body. Immediately, his battered limbs violently protested the movement, and his back seized, unceremoniously flopping him back into the snow. Letting out a few carefully chosen expletives, he buried his elbows back into the ground and lifted himself back up.

First thing first, he needed to do something about his leg. Levi knew the adrenaline was wearing off quickly, and he had a feeling that once he could actually feel the full intensity of the nasty break, he would want to be done with splinting the leg and tie the tourniquet.

A sizeable puddle of blood had accumulated beneath him and he needed to stop the flow to prevent the unpleasant side effects of blood loss. The limb had to be immobilized with a splint as well. The cravat he still wore under the heavy military-issued winter gear would need to suffice as a tourniquet and he could use some low-hanging branches to create a splint.

He pulled out the knife he could never seem to kick the habit of holding in his boot, forcing his eyes to stay open. He felt lightheaded and was dangerously close to fainting from the pain that kept washing over him in loops. But, passing out was a non-option once he tied the tourniquet. If let on too long, it would kill his leg. It would take about two hours, three if he was lucky. After that, his blood would become toxic, and- shit, he just hoped that someone would find him before his two-hour timer ran out.

Having his leg amputated would mean the end of his military career- what would happen to him if he was kicked out of the scouts? Would he even be allowed to stay on the surface? Going back there… It made his stomach twist just thinking about it. Being incapacitated in the Underground was pretty much as dangerous as being incapacitated beyond the walls. Both scenarios would inevitably lead to a gruesome and violent death.

People and Titans really weren't that different at their core. They would prey on the weak; the young, the old, the frail, the injured, and the sick. Everyone wants to expend as little energy as possible to nourish their needs.

With senseless, quivering fingers, Levi rifled through his breast pocket and pulled out that gaudy pocket watch Erwin and Hanji had gotten him for his last birthday. It was probably the most expensive thing he owned. Part of him hated it for that reason, all though he still brought it with him every mission like a good luck charm from his closest friends (also, it was nice to know what time it was- a luxury he had never known before he joined the Survey Corps). He ran his thumb over the precise, intricate details of its frigid metal cover and flicked it open.

He set the watch in the crimson-colored snow beside himself. Then, with a flick of his wrist, the blade of his knife was freed from its sheath, and he returned his attention to where his blood-soaked pants leg was bunched above his mangled knee. As carefully as he could, he sawed through the wet fabric high up his thigh, the dark hem of his briefs peaking past the new jagged edge of his pants. Weakly, Levi tucked the piece of serrated cloth aside.

Ice clung to his fair leg hair while blood poured from his thigh and ran down the length of his shin, melting the snow beneath him. Even though Levi felt like he had nothing left in his body to give, he knew he needed to work faster. He tried to tie his cravat onto his thigh. His hands were clumsy with the cold, and the way the whiteness of his bone stood out against the color of the snow and the pool of red all around him made his stomach sicker, made his mind more muddled. Sighing, Levi's shoulders shivered when his fingers were finally able to secure the knot just a few inches above his knee.

Fuck, he was already so exhausted, and that - he didn't really want to admit right about now - scared the shit out of him.

With the cravat secured, Levi picked up his pocket watch, and, knife in hand, hovered above his mutilated leg for a moment before lowering the tip of the blade onto his skin. Taking a deep breath, he finally stuck the sharp nip into a patch of intact skin. He cut the current time into his thigh just above the silk; this was the best way he could think of in his hazy state to remember when he placed the tourniquet and the only way to convey how long it had been on if someone else were to find him unconscious (providing he was still alive, of course).

The pocket watch snapped shut, and he shoved it back into his breast pocket, patting its place just above his heart for good measure.

For a moment, he watched the dribbles of blood running down his thigh, trying to ignore the agonizing cold he felt against the bare skin that scraped against the crystalization of the ground beneath him. For a moment, the steady droplets, creating crimson paths against his celluloid skin and oozing into dizzying sparkles seemed to lull him into hypnosis, pulling him deeper towards the realms beyond apprehension, something exceeding himself that was calling him deeper, farther into the abyss.

Images of his comrades flickered through his mind. Some that had come and gone, some that were still there. Mostly those who weren't. Like Isabel and Furlan. He missed them so much. Furlan's intelligent wit, how he always had a brilliant comeback that would make even Levi chuckle in his sourest of moods. And Isabel, sweet innocent Isabel, who had such a naïve and bright outlook on the world that nearly made Levi believe in it, and held an atmosphere that could brighten up the darkest of places. A ray of sunshine in a place that had never seen the sun.

They both had such a promising future. They would have done so much good with their lives- much more than Levi ever could. And yet, he was the one who was still here…

He was jarred back to reality when a crow soared off a branch above, sending chunks of crumbling snow collapsing onto his head. Lumps crept beneath his cloak, melting against his skin, and running cooly down his back.

Levi tucked his cloak closer, all through a part of him appreciated the cold shock from above. His consciousness was steadily slipping, and the shock had woken him up a little.

The icy droplets of melted snow running down his back gave him an idea. If it was a good idea or not, he didn't have the brain capacity to decide at the moment, he just knew he had to keep awake if he wanted to survive.

A weak hand grabbed a fist-full of snow and shoved it into his shirt. The flakes melted against his skin and water dripped down his abdomen. He cringed at the burning sensation but kept shoving snow into his shirt. It was cold right now, which was what was intended, but hopefully, the wool would keep its warmth even when wet. That was why they wore itchy woolen underwear in the first place, wasn't it?

Satisfied that he couldn't possibly shove more snow down his clothing without ensuring losing his life to hypothermia, he began looking for some sturdy-looking, low-hanging branches to cut down and make into a splint. Peering around, he spotted a slender but strong limb a few feet above him. His hands hovered above his ODM gear for a moment, until he remembered that he had to sever his ropes so that the Bayer, that shitty brat didn't get eaten back there.

Levi cursed under his breath, letting his grip falter around the releasers. After a moment of consideration, he decided on the young pine tree that was located a small distance behind him. It didn't look as tough as the one above head, but trying to get up there without his gear and with a bum leg would take a lot of energy that he frankly didn't have.

Gritting his teeth, he forced his sore form to scoot towards it, scampering his butt along the ground by the use of his arms and one working leg. After a series of strenuous pushes, the snow having poured into every available pocket of his clothing, he was finally close enough to cut the tree at its stem.

He made quick work of the wood, cutting it into two somewhat equal sticks the length of the entirety of his leg, thigh to ankle. In an ideal situation, he would try to plug and bandage the wound first, but his first aid kit was in his saddlebag, so he neither had bandages or his suture kit (not that there was any point in knitting his skin together over the bone poking out in his thigh anyway).

Pausing as he was hit with a dizzy fit caused by a wave of pain radiating from his leg wound, he let his head fall back into the snow. Taking a moment to just breathe through the contractions of agony, he gave himself a moment to long for the stars, that he once shared the awe and amazement for, for the first time with his two best friends. They were gone now, and he might be too, soon. For a long time, all he wanted was to be with them again.

His thoughts drifted to the people who would lose him if he were to die. How would they react when they finally had to come to terms with the fact that he wasn't coming back? The higher-ups would be greatly inconvenienced, which almost made it worth it. Giving them a last fuck you from the grave. Levi could almost picture Shadis ripping out the few strands of hair still clinging to his skull as he begged for Erwin to take the brunt of the force and announce his death to the public.

And Erwin would hurt, but he wouldn't show it. He would hide behind that detached mask he always wore, announcing the news to the people inside the Walls with a stoic expression. Then, once back in his chambers, he would drink himself to oblivion and draw even further into himself.

Mike would probably be too busy keeping Erwin on his feet to react much at all, and Hange…

Fuck, Hange… Levi didn't want to do that to her.

He couldn't . Wouldn't . This wasn't him. Since when was he the kind to give up? Hangi would probably do whatever it took to figure out how to raise people from the dead only to kill him all over again herself if he did something as stupid as giving up (then she would raise him- kill him- raise him and so on until she was finally satisfied that he knew how much he had fucked up).

A small smile tugged at his lips. For only a moment, the hail whipping at his face felt welcomed as it cooled down the searing heat that found his cheeks when he thought of her, and then, a familiar bout of shame settled in his chest as he realized that he had just contemplated dying instead of fighting. He needed to stop the bleeding and splint his leg, and get going. Tentatively, he scooted back against the thick tree stem he had rested against before for extra support.

With nothing more to prepare, Levi sat back up and took a deep breath, winching when sharpness in his ribs robbed him of it. The knife he had previously retrieved from his boot slipped beneath the cravat against his thigh. Its frigidity stung against his skin. Edged closer to the tree, he pushed his back harder against its rough trunk, and, with gritted teeth, twisted the tourniquet into place as fast as he could.

The cravat cut into his flesh, tighter with every twist until Levi shrieked with the pain. His whole leg was on fire with agony that worsened until he felt it in his fingertips and only five of his toes because there was no more blood going through his leg. Blackness threatened the edges of his vision as he cried, so he slammed his back against the tree, desperately trying to find a way to stay conscious until he could finish tying the tourniquet or he would finish bleeding out while unconscious. But he couldn't. Through tunnel vision, he watched his numb fingers fumble with the knife and with the cravat before he slumped into the cold snow, dead to the world.