Knowledge is Power

Disclaimer/Plot/Author's Note: SEE FIRST CHAPTER

Dedication: I'd like to dedicate this story to my many good friends and loyal fans: my recommended reads are Saviour of Magic by Colt01, For Love of Magic by Noodlehammer, Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong, Partially Kissed Hero by Perfect Lionheart, Harry Potter and the Daft Morons and Angry Harry and the Seven by Sinyk, Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin by The Sinister Man, Harry Potter and the Rune Stone Path by Temporal Knight, A Study in Magic and A Study in Magic: The Application by Books of Change, Dark and Light by Pleasedial123 and Harry Potter: My Life Is My Own by Sashian

Key Pairing: Eventual Harmony;

Other Pairings: To be confirmed

Normal Speech

'Thoughts'

/Parseltongue/

Review Answers:

HMRoberts: Either way, I'd say he's helped tickle the sleeping dragon that is Harrison…and we all know what comes next;

'Damn him,' thought Harrison, hanging his head to hide the scowl that formed on his face as he admitted something to himself that he would never have admitted to anyone else.

And he never would…

'He's beaten me!'

Chapter 12: My Life, My Way

Harrison still couldn't believe it.

Snape had beaten him and he'd made it seem so easy, so annoying and so complex a thing that, for the rest of the lesson, Harrison's mind was less-focused on the task at hand and more on the riddle that Snape had dealt him such a crushing blow with. A blow Harrison vowed he wouldn't let fester, no matter what anyone else tried to do to make things worse.

Well…worse for them!

No, he'd find a way to get his revenge on the snarky son of a bitch who clearly thought he could break through Harrison's outer shell and make him remember why the general populace always claimed that knowledge was power.

By the end of the lesson, Gryffindor had lost more than its fair share of points, even more than Harrison had first figured since Weasley was paying less attention than normal and, at one point, because Harrison wasn't completely on-task, Neville accidentally wound up melting their cauldron and needed to be sent to the Hospital Wing.

But Harrison didn't care.

He couldn't care.

He had to find his comfort zone.

And, to do that, he had to get away from the Potions lab.

That was all that mattered.

When the dismissal order came, Harrison was out of there like a bat out of hell, racing for the Grand Staircase in such a crazed, obsessive manner that he could have been described as insane. He had this mad glint in his green eyes that seemed to be omnipresent while his steps moved with such speed and agility that he hardly even seemed to touch the ground.

Even when he reached the portrait that guarded his dormitory, Harrison didn't calm down.

He didn't calm himself as he gave the password, though he had to give it three times because of how he was stumbling over his words.

He didn't calm down when he was in the familiar surroundings of his Common Room, his faithful feline friend, Loki, reacting to the sudden welcome presence of his master as he mewed in greeting, though Harrison didn't seem to hear him.

He didn't even calm down when he stormed into the empty room that he'd long-since decided would be used for training and spell practice.

On the contrary, he slammed the door so hard that Loki was startled while the windows rattled.

In the training room, Harrison paced in frenzied circles and circular patterns, his steps taking him in a direction that, had anyone been able to track said footsteps, they would have found them creating an endless infinity symbol as the young man paced.

"No," muttered Harrison, though he was speaking to no-one in particular as he gasped, "He hasn't…he hasn't beaten me…I don't get beaten…and I don't feel a thing about it. Not fear, not love, not joy, not sorrow…I am…hollow!" (1)

And yet, still he paced, moving in his cycle until, unable to hold it back anymore, Harrison slammed his fist into the brick wall of the training room, his teeth clenched so tightly that they could have shattered with the strain. However, while his teeth didn't shatter, the bones in his hand did, as the fierce snapping, breaking noises that followed the punch indicated, earning a growl of frustrated pain from Harrison as he yelled at the heavens.

He didn't really say anything when he yelled; he just screamed, roaring like one of the lions on the entrance to his dormitory before, unable to hold it back anymore, he sank to the ground, clutching his broken hand while he curled his knees to his chest.

Then, for perhaps the first time in years, Harrison Potter did something he'd never done, no matter how hard things got.

He wept, his warm, but salty tears running down his cheeks while he sobbed and whimpered, both from the pain in his hand, but even more for the bigger pain he felt drilling its way into his perfectly-forged, emotionless, diamond-hard walls of defence that he had built up many years ago in a bid to help him survive against a world that would never accept him for anything more than what they wanted him to be.

The pain he felt drilling into the very core of the last place Harrison ever wanted to admit being hurt.

His heart

Knowledge is Power

When Hermione noticed Harrison was yet to turn up for dinner, the first thing she felt was worry, closely followed by her damned curiosities of old flaring up as she wondered if his absence had anything to do with his hurried departure from Potions earlier that day. Thankfully, Neville had been patched up by Madam Pomfrey, so he was sat in the Great Hall with her, though when she looked to him for any possible explanations, she saw the same confusion and bewilderment on his face as he asked what she was thinking.

"Have you seen Harrison, Hermione?"

"Not since Potions," said Hermione, looking now to the High Table before she frowned as she added, "That's odd; Professor Flitwick's here, but I thought he had a meeting with Harrison about the letter he received at breakfast?"

"Should…should we ask him?" asked Neville, earning a shrug from Hermione before he gulped as he said, "Whether Harrison's here or not, he is Harrison's Head of House, so if there's a problem with him, I guess we should direct it to Professor Flitwick, shouldn't we? I mean, what if he's hurt or he…what if someone's tried to attack him or…"

"Calm down, Mr Longbottom," said Professor Flitwick, his sudden appearance at the Gryffindor Table startling Neville while Hermione swallowed hard as she saw the aforementioned Professor look up and down the table before he asked, "So, he's not here either, then? I admit, I was a little concerned when he didn't come to my office as we'd agreed: have either of you two seen him?"

"Not since Potions," repeated Hermione, but as soon as she said it, Filius' eyes darkened as he looked from her to the High Table.

To his outrage, he saw Severus looking at the situation and, although he'd never admit it, the man looked like the cat that ate the canary.

Looking back to his students, Filius took a breath before he told them, "Tell me what happened in class, Miss Granger…and tell me everything."

Knowledge is Power

When Hermione spoke the password to Harrison's dormitory, a part of her thankful that he'd trusted her and Neville with said password, she was a little concerned by the fact that the Common Room was empty, though she could see the rolled-up letter from Gringotts as well as Harrison's pet cat, Loki.

She could also see Harrison was in attendance since his things had been left near the table while, to her slight concern, Hermione saw the door to the training room was ajar. As she made her way towards the door, Hermione was also aware of Professor Flitwick – whom she guessed had an open invitation since Harrison had said he was welcome – and Neville following her, though when the goblin professor saw the empty room, he suddenly looked worried.

Edging her way towards the door, Hermione gulped as she slowly wrapped her fingers around the hilt of her wand as she prepared to use magic just in case they walked in on a training session gone awry before, knocking on the door, she asked, "Harry…Harrison? Are…are you in there?"

"Go away, Miss Granger," replied Harrison coolly, his tone nothing new to Hermione, though when Professor Flitwick heard him address her as Miss Granger and not as her first name, he was again concerned for his student's wellbeing, especially since Harrison's usually-apathetic tone was more-emotionless than normal.

Dare any of them think it, but the boy sounded dead to the world around him.

Swallowing down her own worries, Hermione tried again, "Harry…Harrison, Professor Flitwick's here with me; you know, you…you missed your meeting with him, so…"

"My apologies, Professor," said Harrison, his voice still sounding as dead as he seemed to be as he went on, "I can reschedule if you wish; now please, leave me alone. I know it's a free period this afternoon, but I'd rather be left to my own devices, thank you very much."

"Mr Potter," Filius piped up, gesturing for Hermione to move aside while he addressed his clearly-troubled young protégé, "Mr Longbottom and Miss Granger told me about this morning's lesson. I don't know what, exactly, caused you to become…whatever it is you've become as a result of it, but, if my theory is correct, I suspect it all started with the question Professor Snape asked you. And, if I am right, I promise you, he will not get another chance to play with your heartstrings again."

"That implies I have a heart with which I have the strings to play, Professor," drawled Harrison darkly before Hermione and Neville moved back as they heard a sound indicating Harrison was moving.

Seconds later, the door opened and, when it did so, Hermione blushed slightly while Neville's eyes widened as they both got a look at Harrison when he wasn't quite so formal with the world around him. He appeared to have shed his Hogwarts robes, in favour of a tight-fitting, dark-blue t-shirt that seemed to fuse to his lean frame like a second skin. This also exposed the slight pallor to his arms and his waistline, especially since he also wore a pair of knee-length shorts and nothing on his feet.

To Hermione's slight concern, Harrison also carried his wand in one hand and, as he stood in the doorway of the training room, he idly toyed with it, as he usually did whenever he wasn't on task or working on any schoolwork, as he juggled it between his fingers while he went on.

"I don't know what you think you've figured out, sir, but I'd appreciate it if you kept it to yourself."

"Harry…"

"Harrison, Miss Granger," argued Harrison, earning a gulp from Hermione.

"What…what did I do?" asked the brunette, earning an empty glare from Harrison as she asked, "We…we were getting on so well, but then…then you stopped and…and you're so cold and formal with me. Why, Harrison? What did I do to deserve this? Whatever it is, I'm sorry."

"You touched me," said Harrison coldly, earning a shocked look from Hermione before he sighed as he explained, "I hate being touched, let alone in such a jokey manner as a punch to the arm. I'm not some little kid who needs to be concerned with such juvenile acts…"

"So, when I did it in retaliation to your guess…" gasped Hermione, before she blushed hard as she gulped, "I…I'm sorry; I didn't…I didn't know…"

"Of course, you didn't," agreed Harrison, moving past her and Filius as he added, "Because you didn't ask."

"More like you never warned us!" exclaimed Neville suddenly, earning more shocked looks from Hermione and Filius, especially since they couldn't remember a time where they'd heard the aforementioned boy sound so confident or strong with his words.

As for Harrison, he just stared blankly at Neville as the boy gestured towards Hermione before he asked, "What is with you, Harrison? Even when you say we've earned your trust, you still keep us at arm's length and leave us in the lurch. How are we supposed to be made aware of anything to do with you if you won't open up, even after everything we've done to try and help you adjust to…to what's happened? For Merlin's sake, you'd have probably even known about the thing Snape said caused my accident and stopped me, but you didn't and do you know why? Because you chose to close yourself off to everything else but whatever the heck's wrong with you after Snape asked you about your Mum!"

Suddenly, Harrison wheeled around, his wand now pressed beneath Neville's chin while his green eyes shone with warning.

Neville, however, didn't even flinch, which was rare for him, as he told Harrison, "As you said earlier, I'm a Herbology prodigy, Harrison, I know what the asphodel plant and wormwood mean in terms of definition and, while they do mean the same thing for the Draught of Living Death, the fact of the matter is Snape could have asked anyone that question, but he asked you and do you know why?"

"To…to…to throw me off my game," whispered Harrison, though his wand hand trembled as he said it, "To…to try and…and…"

"To beat you before you had a chance to be like the guy he hates more than anyone else, alive or dead," said Neville, a note of finality in his words as he told Harrison. "Snape wanted you to know he knew where to hit you and make it last and, look: he succeeded! You're always so confident in your abilities, Harrison, but all it takes is one reminder of a time you never even think about and you fold like a house of cards!"

Suddenly, Harrison's body trembled even more than his wand hand was doing.

At the same time, Hermione's expression softened while her heart grew cold with concern when she saw the edges of Harrison's eyes wrinkling and straining to hold back the tears he wanted to shed.

At the same time, Neville swallowed hard before he went on, "Now I don't know what you're thinking, Harrison: Merlin forbid anyone has been able to figure that out about you, but I do know this. I've known you for all of one week and, already, I've seen you show equality, strength, and both a keen sense of independence and observation that makes you someone nobody can figure out. You also hold yourself atop a very tall mountain, probably even taller than Everest, which others find impossible to scale…and I don't even know why I'm using that euphemism, but I am."

"It certainly fits," said Filius, earning a sideways look from Harrison as he went on, "Like Mr Longbottom, I too know what the riddle meant and why Severus addressed you with it, but unlike you, Harrison, I do not let it linger because, if I did, I'd be admitting defeat when I have no reason to."

"But…but he knew her…" gasped Harrison, his voice edged by a note of pain as he told Filius, "And he…he's letting me know he…he knew her enough to…to care…and beyond the grave…he feels bitter; why? Is…is he bitter I'm alive and…and she isn't? Does he…does he wish I had died and not her? Was…"

Suddenly, Harrison asked a question that did stick with Filius for a long time afterwards, "Does he feel he was somehow responsible for it?"

"We don't know," admitted Filius, his voice edged by a note of sorrow given what Harrison had just said.

At the same time, he saw more signs that reminded him this was a boy he was dealing with, even though Harrison Potter was more-mature than his eleven years suggested most of the time. "All we can do is speculate and decide for ourselves what we do with the truth as we see it. That is what it means to be human, which, coming from someone like me, is a rather ironic thing to say, but it is the truth."

As Harrison's wand continued to tremble, Neville slowly lowered said wand from his chin, though his eyes never left Harrison's as he continued to listen to his Head of House's sound advice.

"However, whatever the truth may be, it is neither a mystery nor a dilemma you need to face alone, Mr Potter. And as for your adamant dislike of being handled physically in any way, even by those you call your friends, I'm afraid I must side with Miss Granger and Mr Longbottom when they say if you do not share these things with them, how can they be sure to avoid it?"

"They're not my friends!" whispered Harrison, turning away from a stunned Neville and a white-faced Hermione as he added, "They're classmates."

"Classmates who've managed to get closer to you than you've let anyone get, even me," said Filius, clenching his fists as he knew his next words might just decide his own fate with Harrison, but it had to be said. "Whether you will admit it or not, you have been friendlier with them than you have anyone else, Harrison: the lessons you offered them, the aid you wanted to give to Mr Longbottom…Neville, to make himself a better wizard. Why, I'm sure the two of them are wondering why you're even being so friendly with a boy you hardly know…I know I have often wondered, but I've chosen to let it go because I see the true meaning of what it means to be in a House when I look at you three."

"Hear, hear," said Neville.

As for Hermione, she gulped before she told him, "We…we are your friends, Harrison; you might not call us that, but we call you it because we trust you to be our friend and someone we can be…ha…"

She let out a soft, but warm laugh as she said the last part before she went on, "Someone we can be kids with. And Professor Flitwick's right too; I have wondered about you and Neville, but I let it go because I thought you were…you were being like the rest of us by being around him…and me."

Harrison remained quiet, but this time, it was Neville who piped up as he explained, "Harrison, whatever might be your reason for believing you don't have or need friends, that's your business and, even if it means being kept at arm's length, we won't pry…will we, Hermione?"

Hermione shook her head while Neville went on, "But don't think you need to be alone to confront the demons of your past; you more than anyone could use those you can rely on to keep your secrets, act as your shield and, if necessary, your sword against the world, especially with how half the school sees you for a celebrity and the other half sees you as a Dead Man Walking for one reason or another. You can't do this alone."

"Why not?" asked Harrison, moving to the table where he seemed to lose himself in observing the patterns in the wood and the condition of the table itself as he muttered, "I have done so far…I tried being a kid, being normal, and all it got me was lies and false aid…so I am better off alone."

For a moment, none of the others knew what they were meant to say; however, as Neville looked to Professor Flitwick, his head snapped to where Hermione was standing as she told Harrison, "If you think that, Harrison, then maybe you should have died ten years ago!"

Neville's eyes widened with horror when he heard this, while Professor Flitwick exclaimed, "Miss Granger: what do you think you're saying?"

"Something she hopes will get me to make a response that shows I'm capable of feeling something," drawled Harrison, looking to Hermione before he told her, "But it won't work, Hermione: I've faced the worst sort of mind games and I'm still standing, which is more than can be said for the guilty parties, so if you want to double-cross me into some kind of emotional trap, you'll have to try much harder than that."

For a moment, Hermione looked shocked that Harrison had seen through her so well.

However, after only a moment, her expression softened as she asked, "That's your opinion, is it?"

"Yes," said Harrison.

"Very well, Mr Potter," replied Hermione, looking now to Neville as she told him, "Come on, Neville: like he said, we've got a whole afternoon to ourselves. Why don't we go and stretch our legs a bit?"

"If you're hoping for a future date where I come running, begging for help, you'll be waiting a long time, Granger!" insisted Harrison, earning a sideways glance from Hermione as she scoffed.

"Maybe, but it'll be worth it if I spend it with my friends," replied the brunette, looking once to Filius as she added, "See you in class, Professor."

Then, without another word, Hermione left, a confused, bewildered Neville following close behind her.

Once the portrait hole closed again, Harrison snorted before he muttered, "Pathetic…does she actually think this play will work?"

"Maybe she believes her friend will decide that for himself," said Filius, earning another scoff from Harrison before the professor asked, "At any rate, since I'm here and you're here, why don't we look at the letter you received this morning?"

"I'm not interested," drawled Harrison, earning a surprised look from Filius that turned into one of disbelief when Harrison fed the letter, seal and all, to the flames, leaving nothing but ashes in his wake as he stared at the flickering flames. "I told you before, Professor, I only care for me, myself and I, not for the demands of anyone else, least of all Gringotts and their desire to know everything about every client that comes through their doors. So, whatever they want, you can tell them I decline their correspondence and will continue to do so until they learn the same lesson everyone else should."

"And what lesson is that, Mr Potter?" asked Filius, earning a final scoff from Harrison as he looked to said teacher before he answered him;

"My life…my choice!"

Wow, talk about a dark, mysterious Chapter 12 and it looks like Harrison's choice to go it alone has left a rift with our heroes, but will it be a rift that can be repaired or is the Golden Trio done before it can be made official?

Also, will there be any repercussions from the goblins in response to Harrison's blatant disrespect towards their summons?

Keep Reading to Find Out

Next Chapter: Harrison walks alone and, worse, the rest of Hogwarts soon catches on, resulting in a confrontation between our hero and a certain prat, but when Harrison decides he's had enough polishing others' egos, it leads him to a rather interesting discovery;

Please Read and Review

AN (1)

So, a weird reference here, but it's a quote - sort of - from the movie Van Helsing and, when I thought of Harrison's inner struggle, this line came to mind; weird? Maybe, but that's the fun of Fan Fiction