In a surprising turn of events, Han was awake before his wife. He looked down to his side to see that Leia was peacefully asleep. He couldn't be more thankful that she was finally getting some actual rest. It had been a long week and Leia had worn herself to the bone without hardly doing anything. Of course, he couldn't blame her; he was as confused and nervous as she was. He'd taken a step back to check on Leia, however, and he knew that he needed to be sturdy for her. Leia had always been strong and faced things head-on with a sense of fierce duty that was unparalleled to any ethic Han had ever seen. No matter what it was that she was facing, Leia kept a cool head about things, fought with her head, and spared her heart- but their current situation was something else and Han could see his wife teetering on the verge of her own breakdown. Whether things were to end well or not, Leia was losing her usual calm. Han just wanted to be able to help her keep a lid on the steaming kettle.

Regardless of what he had to say about it, Leia would deal with things in her own way. So far, she'd been displaying a desire for as much an explanation to their son's return as poor Master Cilghal could muster. That didn't add up to much, unfortunately. Now, she was desperate to be assured and little would put to rest her concerns. Part of Han was thankful for that. Just as much as she, Han wanted to be able to know that his son would make it, that Anakin would fully recover and have defeated death.

The thought made his eyes sting with tears. That day had been the worst in his life. It had been horrible losing a child. When he'd heard Leia screaming from across the apartment, he hadn't known what to think, what to fear. He would never have expected that Leia had something to tell him that could shatter him. That would break them both. Nothing had ever shattered him like that and he'd been so afraid at that time that he wouldn't be able to pull back Leia as she had done for him.

So, of course, he wanted his son back. He wanted to crush Anakin in the biggest hug and tell him how much he loved him and that he had never forgiven himself for the things he'd said to him after Chewbacca's death. He wanted to put it all in the past, make all the wars go away, and have the time to love and cherish his family like he'd never been able to.

But, first, he needed to help his wife. The same fears that he felt plagued her and he hated watching her like this, so scattered and doubtful.

Please stop worrying so much, Princess, he silently begged her for all he was worth. He reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear and Leia- exhausted and out like a lamp- remained sleeping. I'm right here for you to fall back on. I'll hold you up.

She was lying on her stomach, the side of her face pressed against her pillow. Her cheeks were rosy with warmth and the arm she had half hidden underneath Han's pillow was covered in red marks from the olive and gray sheets of their bed. Han smiled, transfixed by her constant beauty, and kissed the tip of her nose. And, for a while, he just watched her, satisfied that she was sleeping so deeply and peacefully.

But then Han adjusted his position on the bed, shifting the mattress, and she woke up. Her eyes fluttered open, then came Han's favorite part- when her eyelids slowly opened to reveal her warm brown irises. Her gaze met his immediately and they both smiled at each other. Leia yawned and stretched out her arms and Han reached to take one of her outstretched hands into his. "Morning, Princess," he greeted softly, leering in closely. He tenderly kissed her awake, peppering her arm, shoulder and neck with the fluid movements of his mouth.

Leia moaned. "Good morning, flyboy."

"How did you sleep?"

"Very well!" She grabbed his face to hold him still. "You know, I think I've gotten so used to your snoring that I can't sleep without it."

"That's why you haven't slept in a week?"

Leia laughed. "Yes, that's all."

"You didn't miss me?"

Managing to keep a straight face, Leia shrugged and told him, "We both know that you're the one who can't survive a night without me."

"Alright. If that's what you think, Princess." Han dove in straight for her lips and Leia's hands quickly found his chest. She pulled him closer, closing the gap between their bodies.

"Someone missed me," Han said between kisses. Leia shook her head at him before occupying his lips once again. She held this one longer, deepening it-

Until she gasped against his mouth and quickly pushed him back. Her hands now planted firmly but somehow gently, she told him, "Amelia's going to wake up soon."

Han didn't sigh but quickly disentangled their legs. "Did you forget what it's like to have a little one around?"

"A little bit," she admitted. But mostly, I'm wondering how we ever managed."

"Sweetheart, I don't know what you're remembering, but I'm not sure that we ever did."

Leia paused halfway through pulling on some pants to give her husband a look. "Han, the twins weren't a year old before I was pregnant again."

Han tilted his head. "That's right . . ."

Now standing across the room by their dresser, Leia sighed as she stepped into a white, gray, and sky blue skirt and hiked the thick band up to her waist. "You must be getting older," she smiled. "If you're already forgetting."

"See, you think you're funny . . ."

"If I'm not, then you should stop smiling."

Han shook his head. "What are you doing, sweetheart?"

Leia paused in the middle of stuffing her arms through the sleeves of a blouse. "What? I'm just getting dressed."

"I can see that, sweetheart. That's why I'm asking. You haven't even showered yet."

Leia looked away. "Oh." She shrugged, pulled her shirt over her head, then went to the closet to grab a bottle of perfume. "Well, I'll skip today."

Han gave her a choked-off laugh as he rose out of bed and crossed the room to stop her. "I'm trying to remember the last time you skipped the sanisteam." Leia didn't remind him that the last time hadn't been that long ago because she'd neglected taking a shower the day before Jaina had left to kill Caedus.

Han took her face into his hands and gingerly kissed the forehead. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing. I just- I need to get back to the medward. Anakin-"

"Will be fine. Cilghal and Tekli are watching over him."

Willingly, Leia fell into his embrace, leaning forward to press herself against Han's body; her head rested comfortably on his chest. "I still can't believe it, Han. I'm afraid that if I'm gone too long, he won't be there when I get back. I have to see him. I have to see that he's still there, otherwise it's all just a dream. And we aren't getting him back. I need him back."

"He's still there, sweetheart."

Leia gently pushed herself out of Han's hold to look up and hold his gaze. Her eyes were shattered and vulnerable as she asked, "How do you know?"

Without sighing, Han stroked her cheek. He took her hand and brought her back to bed. From the nightstand on his side, Han grabbed his commlink and he keyed in a particular frequency. It rang only once before Master Cilghal answered. "Hello, Captain Solo? May I help you?"

Squeezing his wife's hand, Han asked over the comm, "Hi, Cilghal. I apologize if I'm interrupting your time, but I just wanted to check in. How's my son?"

Cilghal gave a sort of sigh of relief- like gentle laughter. "Of course, Han. Anakin is still doing well. In fact, his scans are looking much better and his amphistaff injury is healing well with the bacta treatment. I'm very hopeful."

"He's still alive?"

"Of course."

"Alright. Thank you, Cilghal." Han hung up, directing a reassuring smile Leia's way. "How about that?"

Leia pursed her lips. "I need to see him."

Han smiled. He leaned forward to leave a kiss on Leia's neck. "I always knew you were going to be the greatest mother."

Han's words of praise won the lightest smile on Leia's lips. She brought up a hand to caress Han's face- like a small display of gratitude. "I have to worry about them. It's my job."

"I'm not telling you to stop. I just think that you should let yourself rest for a while."

She shook her head. "I have to worry. I have to know what's going on." She suddenly switched her seating position, scooting closer to Han and sitting on her knees. She rested her hands on his legs while she spoke to him. "This shouldn't be happening and you know it. As amazing as this is, I don't know what to do. I have to know what's going on because my biggest fear is that it isn't real. I am terrified that this is all just a wishful dream and when I wake up, it will all be gone. Han, I am terrified that we'll lose him again."

Han silenced her the most efficient way he knew how: he swept in and kissed her. He made it delicate, softly brushing his lips across hers. Instinctively, Leia's replied in dance and she moaned in relief from her stresses as Han whisked them away. Leia felt light and airy; she floated above the physical world with Han- a place away from all her worries where only Han could take her. And she savored it.

But then he slowly broke away and Leia found herself leaning forward just slightly, silently begging him to come back. Even after all these years, Leia could never get enough. A sad sort of disappointment filled her as she realized that Han was done, but he tipped her chin back up and grabbed her gaze with only a look. "I know, Princess. Trust me, I know."

Those were Han's words and few other words could calm Leia so. At once, she relaxed just enough to regain something of a composure. She folded into Han's embrace, tucking her head under his chin. For him, she tried to push her fears aside, but they persisted. "I lost my baby boy once," she cried. "I can't lose him again."

Han wrapped one arm around her waist, holding her close but gently and comfortably in his arms, close to himself. His other hand stroked her head, combing through her greasy hair. "Sweetheart."

"Yes, dear?"

"You need to take a sanisteam."

Leia pushed away. When she looked back at Han, she had a brow raised high at him. She slapped a hand against his stomach and got up. "I'm going to use the sanisteam."

Han jumped off their bed, slipping his hands around her waist. "Hang on! I'm coming with you."


The part she feared the most was the tangibility.

Tahiri Veila was not a hurricane of emotions or even the distressed river flooding the innocent plains. Rather, she was the bare, weak tree standing along the bank, hoping the sand and silt would be enough to keep her planted firmly. In all honesty, Tahiri didn't know what her silt was, or if she had any. So, she had to rely on herself to stay standing upright.

Leia's words flew through her over and over again, speeds exceeding hundreds of kilometers per minute. She wanted to dismiss it all, wanted to label Leia's claims as delusional, pity the poor woman for her loss, and get on with her day; but it played like a constant mantra, stuck in her head. She'd hardly slept the night before, the same blurred thoughts marching loudly through her head. It shouldn't be possible, she shouldn't even consider it, but the Force itself wouldn't let it go and it refused to let her mind wander anywhere else.

He. Is. Back.

Leia certainly hadn't seemed delusional. Sure, she'd been near delirious with joy, but her aura had seemed greatly conflicted. Her excitement took center stage, but she too seemed so confused, lost, fearful. It was like she truly couldn't decide what to think, what to feel.

Tahiri, slowly easing herself back into a healthy relationship with the Force, had searched Leia's words, feeling her hands across the subtle vibrations, examining their pattern. From what she could tell, Leia hadn't told her a single lie.

He is back.

Tahiri couldn't even be sure if she wanted this to be true. On one hand, of course she did! Anakin. Alive. Back. That was all she'd ever wanted. But- back? Now? After all that had happened? She swallowed, glancing down at her hands. After everything she'd done? But- having Anakin back had been all she'd wanted since he died. And now, it might be here.

The part she feared most was the tangibility. She feared it being real. She feared seeing him, touching him, coming to realize that he was actually there, skin, bones and all. Present. She was afraid of him being alive because she had no idea what to do. How was she supposed to handle it? What if he was different when he woke up? What if things weren't like they used to be? Tahiri had already been struggling with sorting out her and Anakin's relationship before he'd died.

It all had to be too amazing, though it didn't feel like it. This all felt very real, no dream-like state. Tahiri was wide awake while life was unfurling around her.

He is back, Leia had said to her only yesterday. She'd told her in a whisper, standing toe-to-toe with her, her Force aura still chaotically buzzing, setting everything else around her distraught. He is back.

She sighed. The years following Anakin's death had been torturous. Who was she kidding? Her chest had rejected breathing since the moment Anakin had exhaled his last. It had never stopped. The ache had never left. It had been long enough that Tahiri had learned to swim in her pain. She'd lived with it for so long, it had become her life's battle, the one thing she had to fight to stay alive.

She had been so young when Anakin was mercilessly taken from her life. She'd still been a child according to age, but her mind had borne as many scars as Anakin's and their maturity had allowed their childhood friendship to quickly blossom into an actual love. First, when Anakin had returned to Yavin IV during the Vong War, Tahiri, a newly-minted teenager, found herself feeling different things for her best friend that went beyond their lifelong bond. Master Ikrit had once expressed the bond he saw between them- the potential. They were better together, stronger.

Then, Tahiri became familiar with the war raging around them. The tragedy sank its claws into her shoulders, tortured her, reformed her into something she was terrified of being. But Anakin had found her, been there. She wasn't afraid of becoming anyone else with him around. And her feelings for him had evolved from a teenager's crush to something just beneath love.

Anakin had become a constant for her, and an anchor. He was always there, always lifting her up, always feeding her the strength only he could give her. The following months Tahiri and Anakin had greatly spent together and it was during that time that their relationship continued to transform until it was manifested in the form of a mature love. No matter how young they had both been, Tahiri had loved Anakin and he in return her. Tahiri had truly loved Anakin Solo, been in love with him, the real deal, life mate thing. Until Anakin had been taken from her. The truth of the matter, however, was that Tahiri had never stopped loving Anakin.

Tahiri stepped out of her sanisteam, wrapping a towel around herself as she padded out of the refresher and flicked the lights and steam control system off. With the buzzing of the working vents silenced, Tahiri paused, irked by the eerie silence occupying her home. Home. It hardly felt like any kind of home. This was just a place that Master Skywalker was allowing her to live in, mere quarters.

She blew a sigh through her nostrils, annoyed with herself.

Her dresser was sparsely filled; she owned nothing, but Mirax Horn had left a small stack of pants, camisoles, a pair of boots, a tunic and- her old Jedi robe. 'In case you need this anytime soon', the woman had scrawled on a small, ripped flimsi placed atop the clothes pile. Tahiri, understanding Mirax's innocent intentions, had smiled. Now, she put on the outfit given to her and stared at the tan robes, deciding whether she should put them on or not. After a few minutes of deep thought, she'd shaken her head, hidden them away in an empty drawer, and left it at that. To wear the robes of a Jedi would automatically label her as a Jedi. Tahiri was predicting the negative reaction to that. Even if the rest of the Order was perfectly fine with her sudden return, Tahiri knew that she still had yet to atone for her actions against the Order and her family and earn her place in the Order once again. Plus, it would be a dishonor to both her family and the Order to don the apparel of a Jedi so soon. That is something you must still earn again, she reminded herself as she shut the drawer.

Tahiri had nothing on her immediate agenda, so she slipped her lightsaber on a utility belt and walked to the commons area of the Jedi base. When she got there, breakfast was still being served to sleep-deprived pilots and starved Jedi. Tahiri didn't let her gaze wander around the crowd. The sight of old friends' looks trained on her would be too much. Not wanting to stop and ask someone for directions, she let the Force guide her in her search for Master Skywalker. Her instincts took her past the commons and down a short hall to a series of conference rooms. Each door was closed.

Groups of Jedi, Knights and Padawans alike, stood in scattered groups, conversing excitedly until many gazes were drawn to the blonde Jedi. Tahiri allowed her gaze to scroll across a few of the startled groups before she jerked herself back and took a breath.

There approached an older Knight whom Tahiri recognized. Danni Quee- who only looked slightly different, a little older and a little more worn- stepped forward, greeting her warmly as she offered a hug. "Hello, Tahiri. Master Skywalker is a bit preoccupied at the moment," she explained, gesturing behind her to the conference rooms. "Could I help you? Or, did you need him?"

"Are you sure? I could pass him a note later if you'd like-"

"No, it's fine. But thank you, Danni."

"Of course," she nodded, trying to stay assured. "Well, it's good to see you around again. Welcome back, Tahiri."

Tahiri responded softly with the polite 'thank you' and a short nod before she quickly left. Although, she didn't know where to go or what to do. Everyone she felt remotely comfortable around she figured to be busy with all these meetings. Though she didn't think that neither Leia nor Jaina were Masters yet, the Council probably dragged them both into every meeting anyway. And Han- well, Han Solo did what he pleased and probably strutted in following Leia every day. As for the dead friends she'd once had, Tahiri found no comfort in the idea of visiting them. She'd betrayed them, left them.

Tekli's words suddenly echoed in her head. When you are a friend, Tahiri, you are a good one.

Those words only filled her with more guilt. When I am a friend. I have not been a friend often enough. I should never have stopped. I should never have left like I did.

Not wanting to stand in the same spot, allowing people to stare at her, she began to wander, no sense of direction leading her. So she thought. She took several steps forward, a quick turn down one hallway leading to more corridors, less crowds. After a few more steps, she became mutely aware of the fact that she was following something. What, she did not yet know, but something like an even pulse began to guide her feet and send her slowly shuffling around. The walls seemed to blur even at her sluggish pace. Nothing stuck out to her, nothing was noticeable. It all passed by her as she continued on. She wasn't truly aware of anything until she came to a door, opened it and walked in.

The sight of his body broke her hypnotic state.

While she no longer trudged along, Tahiri was now stuck in a dazed, almost lifeless state. She was not aware of her own being, but wholly focused on the familiar figure lying unconscious in the bed. It was at this moment that she realized this was what had been leading her, guiding her, pulling her forward to her calling. The steady thrum of life, breathing, heart beating, chest rising and falling. Anakin. Living.

It had been so long. Oh, so long. So long apart, separated from everything she loved. It had been stolen from her, torn from her arms on Myrkr. But here he was- she checked her instincts, not the monitors- living and breathing. She gasped in relief, her lungs suddenly expanding like she'd never realized they'd collapsed on her. She couldn't breathe easy, but she hadn't before realized that breathing could be so much easier.

Hesitantly, she took a seat at his bedside. While the quiet beeping monitors and scanners certainly assured her, Tahiri took more comfort from her own observations. He didn't look awfully different, just . . . older, caught up with the forgotten years. His face bore a fine layer of stubble; Tahiri wasn't sure if she liked it there or not. His face was bruised and cut up. Maybe, Tahiri considered, he should have looked more different to her than he did, but Tahiri would recognize him anywhere. And his appearance, how she saw him now, only seemed right. This was definitely him- there was no denying it. Anakin was back.

Once she let herself admit that, instinct drove her to longing. As if no time had passed at all since the Myrkr mission, she wanted to kiss him, make up for the one she refused him. Instead, however, she settled for tracing her finger along his lips. She imagined him wearing that ridiculous, stomach-fluttering, lopsided grin of his. She painted that grin where it would interrupt his cheek, then dragged her finger down his chin, along his jaw, tickling against his new beard. She allowed herself a euphoric smile. The beard was something she could definitely get used to.

From there, she let her hand wander, gently grazing across his shoulder, down his arm. She peeled back his thin blankets to see the wound that was detailed on his report. His side was heavily bandaged and wrapped over, hiding a gouged-out amphistaff wound- she already knew. Just like on Myrkr. Except, the outcome this time was to be very different. They were on a civilized planet- well, they had resources. A medcenter, medical resources, Master Cilghal. He would be fine.

He would be fine.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she felt a new presence near and the door to Anakin's room opened to let in Anakin's own sister Jaina Solo. Tahiri didn't jump, but inhaled sharply, surprised. She couldn't find any words, any greeting as Jaina peeked her head in. She couldn't find the words to explain her presence here. Although, Jaina didn't appear to be very surprised by it. Her look remained impassive. She gave a quick wave as she stepped in, glancing around. "Is my mom here?" she asked, her first words.

Tahiri blinked. "Uh, no." She craned her neck. "Is she supposed to be here?"

Jaina shook her head. "I just thought I'd check here first. She's- been spending a lot of time here lately."

Tahiri nodded. "Of course."

"Well, I should go find her." Her eyes followed her brother where he lay, still unconscious, on the medbed as she left. "Bye, Tahiri."

Tahiri nodded again, still dumb stricken. "Bye."

And Jaina left without another word.

Once she recovered from the surprise intrusion, Tahiri's gaze fell back to Anakin. "So," she spoke aloud to him, thrusting a hand through his tousled hair. "You're here again."


AN: So, Anakin still hasn't woken up. I'm surprised nobody's complained yet. Well, thanks, everyone, for reading and please take a minute to feed my starving review box!