At the Loud House, their TV was playing an important commercial.
"Do you believe in ghosts? Join me, Hunter Spector, Spectre Hunter, Leader of the Academy of Really Good Ghost Hunters, or ARGGH!, as I descend into the scariest place in any home: THE BASEMENT! Sunday night at 8:00 PM. Don't miss it, or you'll be left in the dark. ARGGH!"
J.D. was at Lincoln's house and just bursting with excitement.
Lincoln has today circled on his calendar.
"It's finally here!" yelled Lincoln in excitement. "The live season finale of the GREATEST SHOW, EVER!"
"Oh yeah!" yelled J.D. in the same tone of voice. ARGGH!"
"Alright," Lincoln told the viewers, "I know you're probably saying to yourself, 'Lincoln, with 11 sisters, there's no way you're going to get to watch your favorite show.' And you'd be right. Every Sunday at 8, it's the same thing."
A small flashback reveals his sisters fighting over the remote every Sunday.
"I bet it's like going into a lion's den," commented J.D.
Lincoln nodded. "Yep, and tonight, I have a plan." He brought out his Walkie-talkie and called his friend Clyde. "Cadet Lincoln calling Cadet Clyde, do you read me?"
"This is Cadet Clyde," Clydie replied on his Walkie-Talkie. "I read you loud and clear! I'm so excited! We finally get to watch ARGGH together. And by together, I mean you at your house and me at mine, right?"
Lincoln turned to face J.D. and said, "For such a landmark event, we decided that it'd be best for us if we watched it separately. Clyde's got a huge crush on my sister Lori."
"Your oldest sister, Lori?" J.D. asked.
Lincoln sighed slightly. "Yep. It gets awkward."
Clyde is looking dreamily at a drawing of Lori. "Hubba Hubba."
"Clyde?" Lincoln asked. "Clyde? Do you read me?"
"Uh, you better hurry, Lincoln," Clyde replied, snapping out of his daydream. "It's almost 8:00!"
"It's time to put Operation: Distract My Sisters So That I Can Get to the TV First and Watch the Special Live Season Finale of ARGGH and Think of a Shorter Name For This Operation into action," Lincoln explained.
"Whoo! That's a mouthful. How about just Operation: ARGGH Distraction?"
Lincoln smiled. "That's perfect."
"How are we going to pull this off?" asked J.D.
Lincoln then silently hands him two frogs.
"Why do we need frogs?" J.D. asked, confused.
Lincoln just said, "Follow Me."
J.D. was even more confused as he followed him to the twins' room. Once they arrived, the twins Lola and Lana came running out of their room screaming. "Cartoons! Cartoons! Cartoons! Cartoons!"
Lincoln stops them. "Did someone say tea party?"
He then reveals a teapot and a box of cookies behind his back to Lola.
"Eeeee!" squealed Lola. "Thank you, Lincoln!" She took the items and returned to her room.
"Oh, I see how he's doing it," J.D. thinks to himself.
Lana folded her arms in disgust. "Hey, I don't want to be part of some dumb old tea party. I want to watch TV!"
J.D. smirks slightly as he brings something out from behind himself. "Not even if these guys are invited?" He then offers the two frogs to Lana, one of which croaks.
"Eeeee!" squealed Lana. "Thanks, J.D.!" She took the frogs and returned to her room.
After the twins return to their room, Luan comes out of her room.
Lincoln stopped her. "Hey, Luan!"
"Hey Lincoln, I was just heading downstairs to watch some TV," Luan responded.
He gave Luan a video camera. "You might want to grab your camera instead. The twins are at it again."
They could hear Lana and Lola fighting again in their room, and it was getting loud.
"This is totally going to go viral!" Luan said excitedly.
"Thanks, Linc," Luan replied, going into the room.
J.D. just thought of a joke he could tell her. "Hey Luan, why couldn't the 11-year-old get into the Pirate Movie?"
"Why?" asked Luan.
"It was Rated ARR!" J.D. joked and closed one eye as part of the joke, and then a rimshot can be heard.
Luan laughed at the joke as she went into the twins' room. "Good one, J.D.!"
"No offense, Lincoln," J.D. said quickly, hoping the joke was amusing.
Lincoln waved him off. "None was taken, J.D., but that was a good one."
"Thank you," smiled J.D. gratefully.
Laney then emerged from her room, holding a book.
"Oh! Hey Laney!"
"Oh, Lincoln, I was just going to read my book in peace in the living room," Laney explained. "I couldn't concentrate because Lola and Lana are fighting next door."
"No problem," J.D. replied, before snapping his fingers and getting an idea.
He drew some earmuffs from his pocket and placed them on Laney's head.
"Gee, thanks J.D." Laney thanked him.
Laney returned to her room as Lisa and Lily emerged from theirs, and J.D. grabbed Lily from Lisa.
"Hey Lisa, I saved you a trip downstairs and got that stuff you needed," Lincoln explained.
"The lactose, Triticum protein, sodium chloride crystals, sucrose and galus galus ovum," Lisa said, making sure he got the correct items she required.
"The milk, flour, salt, sugar, and eggs?" J.D. asked in confusion as Lincoln held out the ingredients for Lisa to take.
"You say tomato," Lisa continued, "I say Solanum Lycopericum. Thank you." She takes the ingredients and goes back into her room, and Lily follows her as J.D. set her on the ground.
Not a moment later, Lynn came out of her room screaming. "Yeah! Two minutes to game time! Whoo!"
"Hey Lynn, check it out," Lincoln said, holding out a football that started floating. "I filled it with helium for the extreme player who demands more."
Lynn looked at the football for a moment and then yelled, "I demand more!"
Leni came out of her room at that moment. Then Lincoln hands the ball to J.D. to throw since he isn't good at sports.
"Go long!" He threw the ball into Lynn's room. Lynn is struggling to grab the ball.
"Get over here, you!" yelled Lynn, chasing it.
Lincoln finally notices that Leni has exited her room and is on her way to the living room. "Oh, my gosh! Leni!"
Leni started freaking out. "What is there, a spider on me?" She starts frantically rubbing her head, trying to get the so-called spider off. "Get it Off! Get it Off! Get it Off! Get it Off!"
"I have some awesome clothes you can make," J.D. explained. He takes out a piece of paper with fashion designs, unfolds it, and hands it to her. "Here you go, Leni."
"Oh my gosh, these are totes adorbs!" Leni squealed, looking at the designs. "I'll go make them right now."
As Leni returns to her room, Luna comes out of hers holding her guitar. "Hey bros! TV tonight is going to be rockin'!" She then strums her guitar. "Yeah!"
"Rock on, Luna!" J.D. shouted.
Lincoln stops them. "Or you can have your very own flashlight rock show in your bedroom."
He then held out a colorful flashlight, and Luna took it from him excitedly. "That is sweet! Thanks, Linc!"
At that moment, Lori emerges from her room with an annoyed look. "Has anyone seen my phone? I need to live-tweet my show!"
J.D. took her phone out of his pocket and started pressing some buttons. "I've got this," he whispered to Lincoln. He then runs over to Lori and gives her back her phone. "Lori! Here's your phone. I found it in the bathroom and figured you accidentally left it in there."
Lori sighed in relief. "Oh. Thank you, J.D. So, how do you like it here so far?"
"It's awesome, thanks for asking," smiled J.D.
Lori's phone rings, and she answers it. "Hello? Oh, Hi Bobby." She laughed. "No, I didn't text you to call me. But I'm glad you did." She stopped talking for a moment and thanked J.D. "Thanks for finding my phone, J.D."
He waved it off. "No problem, Lori."
They see Lily sleeping in the hallway as Lori returns to her room.
"Aww, she's tired," J.D. smiled. "Watch this, Lincoln."
He then concentrates and uses the Force to pull Lily's blanket over to himself and wrap it around her.
Lincoln was amazed at what he saw. "How did you manage to do that?"
"I have a variety of unique powers," J.D. explained. "I'll put Lily in her crib and come back to meet you in the living room."
"That was fantastic!" Lincoln said, amazed at what he saw as he went downstairs.
J.D. then put Lily to bed, ran downstairs to the living room, hoping he was on time.
"Am I on time?" J.D. asked the person who was sitting on the couch.
"Yes, you are," Lincoln replied.
"I have this feeling we forgot something," said J.D.
"As I previously stated, I may not be the fastest or the strongest, but it pays to have a plan to get all of my sisters out of the way," replied Lincoln.
"You forgot me," stated Lucy, who appeared out of nowhere.
Lincoln and J.D. got scared by her appearance and fell off the couch in response.
Lincoln gasps hard as he gets back on the couch. "Lucy! I always forget about Lucy."
"The story of my life," Lucy sighed.
"Hey Lucy," J.D. greeted. "Do you need some words for your latest poem?"
"Not this time," Lucy replied. "It's the season premiere of my favorite show, "Vampires of Melancholia." How do you like it here in Royal Woods, J.D.?"
"It's awesome, Lucy," J.D. said, smiling. "Thank you for asking."
Lucy replied, "You're welcome."
"This is the episode of ARGGH that everyone is going to be talking about at school tomorrow!" Lincoln explained, and then he started begging. "Please let us watch it. Pretty please with a black cherry on top?"
"A black rose would have been my choice," J.D. said, shrugging.
"Those are my favorite flowers, J.D., but I'm sorry, guys, but you know the rules. I was here," apologized Lucy. Then she says in slow motion, "First."
"NOOOOOO!" Lincoln yelled. He looks at the remote, gets an idea, and licks it. "Ha!"
"Ew!" J.D. screws up his face in disgust.
Lucy then holds up another remote. "That's the old remote that Lily threw in the toilet."
Once Lincoln heard that he started gagging, rubbing his tongue, and spitting out the germs from the remote. He then weeps, and J.D. consoles him.
"Sorry, Lincoln," Lucy apologized. "I can't miss my vampires. Edwin is so cold, tormented, and mysterious. Sigh. If only he wasn't from another century."
"Another century!" Lincoln repeated and then he got an idea and whispered something to J.D. He smiles and winks and gives him the thumbs up to go ahead. "That's okay, Lucy. You watch your show on the big color TV. I'll watch my show on dad's crummy, old black-and-white TV."
Lucy spun around to face him. "Black and White are my favorite colors."
"Yeah, it'll make watching my show a little more spooky!" agreed J.D., going along with Lincoln's idea.
"Spooky is also my favorite color," Lucy added.
"Well, enjoy your vampires," Lincoln responded as he waved her off.
"Wait!" Lucy shouted. "I'll take the old TV."
In Lucy's room, J.D. carried in the old TV and placed it on Lucy's bed.
Lincoln was impressed at his strength."Wow. J.D., you are really strong."
"It isn't all that heavy." J.D. shrugged. "I help my dad a lot around the yard."
"Now to plug it in," Lincoln said.
J.D. notices that the plug is dented, bent, and has exposed electrical wires. "This plug needs to be fixed. But we'll try it, anyway." He plugged it in, and then the power went out. "Oh, Tire Logs!"
The Loud kids came into the room and were murmuring in confusion about why the power was out.
Lori started yelling to get everyone's attention. "All right! All right! Everybody just calm down!"
"Guys!" yelled Leni frantically. "I can't see anything! I think I've gone blind!"
Lori facepalms at her sister's stupidity. "No, you didn't go blind. What the heck happened?"
"J.D. and I were just plugging in the old TV for Lucy, and it must've made the lights go out," responded Lincoln sheepishly.
Lori glared at him. "Of course, it was your fault, Lincoln."
Also, the other sisters started complaining about what their brother did.
Laney tries to reason with them. "Girls, please! I'm sure Lincoln didn't mean to cause a blackout."
"Yeah!" Lincoln agreed. "All I did was plug in some dumb old TV!"
J.D. came to Lincoln's defense. "Yeah, we didn't mean to make the lights go out!"
"Hey! I know the reason the lights went out! Cause they liked each other!" Luan joked and then laughed. J.D. was the only other person who laughed while everyone else sighed. "Get it? Get it?"
"Yeah, good one, Luan," laughed J.D.
"That one was so good it deserved a cookie," stated Lisa, who then gave her an actual cookie.
"Oh, thanks," Luan thanked her and ate the cookie. "So anyway, what did one light bulb say to the other light bulb?" She immediately starts glowing, and everyone gasps in response.
"Whoa," said J.D. in awe at what he saw happen.
"You're glowing," said Lincoln said in awe.
"Oh," Luan said, disappointed. "I already told you that one." She didn't realize that she was actually glowing.
"No, dude," Luna said, shaking her head. "YOU are glowing."
"Yeah," J.D. agreed. "You look like a human light stick."
"Hey, wow!" Luan said excitedly as she finally took notice that she was glowing.
"Everyone back away from Luan," ordered Lori, afraid that it would be contagious as the rest of the siblings stepped back as well. "Lisa, Mom and Dad said you're not allowed to use your siblings as experimental guinea pigs anymore."
"Yeah!" Leni agreed in anger. "Not after what you did to me!"
In a flashback, Leni is experiencing side effects from Lisa's experiment.
Her face is inflamed and covered in blemish-like substances. Leni is looking into a mirror and touching herself. "My face feels funny."
Flashback ends
"Was it some kind of experimental cream created to get rid of acne forever, Lisa?" J.D. asked.
"Affirmative J.D.," Lisa confirmed, nodding. "Classic. All I did was infuse the bioluminescent DNA of the Aequoria Victoria Jellyfish into a cookie. I call them Gloweos. Besides, now we can see."
"How illuminating," joked J.D. as he and Luan laughed. While everyone else sighed at the joke. "Lisa, your experiment worked successfully."
"Indeed," Lisa agreed.
"Okay, everyone huddle around Luan," commanded Lori, and then everyone did as Lori said.
Luan joked, "I always knew I was the light of your life." Luan and J.D. laughed as the rest of her siblings sighed at the joke.
"Okay," Lincoln began, "so how about we get the power back on?"
Lori gave him a look. "Hey. When mom and dad are out, I'm in charge. So first, we need to get a head count to make sure we're all here."
J.D. begins counting everyone and notices that someone is missing. "Everybody's all present and accounted for except for Lucy."
Lucy appeared at that moment and scared Lincoln, making him fall. "That's right."
J.D. helped Lincoln up.
"Can I go flip the circuit breaker before Lucy gives me a heart attack?" Lincoln asked them.
"Again, in charge," Lori empathized. "I'll do it. Where's this circuit breaker thingy?"
"It's usually down in the basement," responded J.D.
Everyone arrived at the basement, and Lori's shadow peered over the basement's darkness.
"Why am I the one who has to do this?" asked Lori in slight fear.
"Because you're in charge!" J.D. and everyone yelled.
"You even said so yourself," added J.D.
Lori sighed. "All right, all right! Come on, Luan. Light the Way."
"That's the brightest idea you've had all day!" Luan joked. Only J.D. and Laun laughed at the joke. Lori then pulls Luan away from her siblings. After doing so, Luan's glow goes away. Then everybody gasps at this.
"Oooh. I thought I was staying in tonight, but I guess I'm going out, " Luan joked again, making herself and J.D. laugh while everyone else sighed.
"No!" Laney yelled in fear, shaking Luan. "Please don't go out! I don't wanna go down there!"
"Lisa, give her another one of those cookies," Lori ordered Lisa. "We won't tell."
Lisa pulled out a clipboard. "Negative. That was the only one. Prototype."
"Aw, Cheese Logs," J.D. said, snapping his fingers disappointed. "I wanted to try one of those."
Lori groaned and heard a wooden creak that scared her. "Just great...There's something in the basement! I'm not going down there!"
"Ooh!" Lynn taunted. "You're scared of the dark!"
"I am not!" Lori protested in denial. "You're the one who's scared."
Lynn glares at her, arms folded. "I'm not afraid of anything."
"Boo!" said Lucy as she came up behind her.
"AAH!" yelled Lynn as she jumped in fright.
While most of the girls begin to argue, the twins begin to tremble in fear." THERE'S A GHOST IN THE BASEMENT!" sobbed the twins, and started hugging each other.
"Guys!" Lincoln shouted. "I'm running out of time! It's really important that I...I...I..."
J.D. notices that the girls are distressed and says, "Lincoln, your sisters are really scared. We have to do something."
Lincoln sighed. "You're right, J.D. I need to fix this. OKAY, QUIET!" The girls immediately stopped arguing. "Come here, you two. It's okay. There's nothing to be afraid of." He hugs the twins to comfort them.
"It's okay, Laney," J.D. reassured her. "I will make sure nothing happens to anyone." Laney immediately hugged him in comfort.
Lincoln goes into protection mode and says, "Your big brother and best friend will protect you. If fact... we will protect all of you! For I am Cadet Lincoln! CADET LINCOLN Highly trained student of the Academy of Really Good Ghost Hunters or A.R.R.G.H.! A.R.R.G.H.!"
J.D. also gets into the act and says, "And I'll protect all of you too, for I am Cadet James! CADET JAMES, Elite Lightsword Specialist of the Academy of Really Good Ghost Hunters or A.R.R.G.H.! A.R.R.G.H.!"
They both immediately took action. J.D. makes his eyes glow green, and Lincoln puts on his night goggles and busts out his Walkie-Talkie.
"Cadet Clyde, this is Cadet Lincoln. Forget the plan. I'm going to need backup."
Clyde comes in a few minutes later and salutes. "Cadet Clyde reporting for duty." He immediately notices Lori and gets aroused. "L-L-L-Lori?" He then starts acting like a Malfunctioning Robot, RED ALERT. RED ALERT. DOES NOT COMPUTE. CIRCUIT OVERLOAD."
J.D. approaches Clyde and snaps his fingers, causing him to snap out of it.
"Thanks, J.D.," thanked Clyde.
"No problem Clyde," J.D. replied. "Is that what you meant by awkward Lincoln?"
"Yep." He then prepared to enter the basement. "I will now descend into the scariest place in the house: the basement. BASEMENT But fear not with my official ARRGH! Branded night vision goggles, I can see in the dark." Lincoln begins to head down but slips down the stairs and loses his walker-talkie. J.D. runs to the door to make sure he's okay.
"Lincoln, are you okay?" he asked.
"The bad news is, my goggles are just a toy and do not really see in the dark! The good news is they cushioned my face from the hard basement floor."
Luan gets an idea and takes out her camera. "Hey, I think my video camera has a night vision setting."
"Sweet!" replied Lincoln as he rushed back up the stairs to take it from her. "It's just like the cameras they use on ARRGH! I'm going in."
J.D. stops him. "No! Let's all go down there, together."
He then takes his lightsaber out of his pocket and ignites it. It has a green blade.
Lisa gasped in astonishment. "Is that a real lightsaber?"
"It sure is," confirmed J.D.
"Cool. Can I touch it?" Lynn asked as she brought her hand closer to the green lightsaber.
J.D. stops her before she can hurt herself. "Don't even think about touching the blade, Lynn. It's a blade of pure energy, capable of slicing through anything like a hot knife through butter. Don't be concerned. I'm very careful with it."
Everyone followed Lincoln to the basement, where he led the way with Luan's camera as his guide.
"You may want to stay close," Lincoln warned everyone. "There's no telling what could be lurking down here in the dark."
"There's nothing funny about this situation," Luan admitted. "Although, I do like dark humor."
"Is someone touching my hand?" Leni wondered.
"You're touching your own hand," Lynn responded, annoyed.
"I've trained for this situation, guys," J.D. explained. "Everything is going to be okay."
Lori was shivering. "I hate basements."
At that moment, an eerie sound comes out of nowhere, scaring everyone.
Lori gasped. "What's that moaning?"
The rest of the girls gasp, and Lincoln, J.D., and Clyde turn to the noise source and see it is just the pipes.
"Don't freak out," Lincoln reassured them. "It's just the pipes settling."
Then they heard another scary sound.
"What's that scratching?" Leni asked.
The girls gasped once again, and J.D. turned to the source of the sound with his lightsaber.
J.D. sighed. "It's alright. It's Cliff the Cat scratching a scratching post."
It turns out it was only Cliff using his scratching post, and he meowed once he saw them. But then everyone smelt a horrid smell.
Lynn was holding her nose. "What is that smell?"
The girls gasped once again; this time, Clyde saw the source of the smell. "It's just Lily with a full diaper."
Luna was holding Lily and was understandably grossed out by her baby sister.
"Poo-poo!" giggled Lily.
"I'll have to change her later," J.D. said, grossed out.
Another ominous noise occurs, surprising everyone, not just the Loud sisters.
"What was that?!" yelled J.D. in surprise.
A mysterious voice from nowhere called out, "J.D., Lincoln, Clyde..."
J.D, Lincoln, and Clyde were terrified and huddled together and screamed. "IT'S THE GHOST, AND IT KNOWS OUR NAMES!"
Everyone immediately started running around the basement screaming, except for Lucy. She was calm and delighted that there was an actual ghost.
Lincoln bravely yells, "I'LL SAVE YOU, SISTERS!" He charges in the ghost's direction. The lights come back on, and it turns out Lincoln is attacking the laundry basket.
Lincoln hasn't noticed the lights have come on and is still attacking. "Hi-yah! Take that evil spirit!"
It also turns out that J.D. found the circuit breaker and turned the lights back on. "That's not a ghost, Lincoln. It's everybody's laundry."
Lincoln emerges from the laundry and sheepishly grins; it also turns out that the sound was coming from his walkie-talkie. It was their friend Liam.
"Lincoln, Clyde, J.D., is everything okay at that house?" Liam asked in a southern accent. "All your lights were out."
Lincoln picked up the walkie-talkie. "Liam? Yeah, we're alright. All the power's back on."
"I still can't see," said Leni, with her eyes closed.
Lisa rolled her eyes. "Open your eyes."
Leni opened her eyes. "IT'S A MIRACLE!"
" The first one to the TV is couch commando," Lori said to everyone.
"I can still get there first!" Lincoln yelled, determined. "Come on, Clyde, J.D.!"
Lincoln dashed to the couch, dragging J.D. and Clyde with him so they could be the first ones there, and he passed all of his sisters on the way. They were the first to arrive, and Lincoln grabbed the remote and turned on the television, only to discover that the show had ended.
"WOW! Wasn't that by far the best episode of ARRGH ever? I'd hate to be you if you missed it!"
Lincoln, Clyde, and J.D. gasped in horror at hearing the announcement.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Lincoln and Clyde.
"Aw, Fish Sticks!" grumbled J.D. "And I didn't even get to see it."
"I can't believe I missed my show," lamented Lincoln.
Lincoln and Clyde began to cry, and Lincoln's sisters saw how unhappy they were and felt sorry for them.
Lori handed them some popcorn. "Sorry you missed your show, guys."
"But you just lived it," Luan pointed out. "Check it out." She plugged her camera into the TV and showed everyone what Lincoln filmed. They all watch and enjoy their little adventure on film, and J.D., Lincoln, and Clyde are happy to have experienced the show instead of just watching it.
"I guess we did live it, didn't we?" said J.D. in awe.
"Yes indeed," responded Lisa.
Lincoln told the viewers, "You know, I may have missed my show. But sometimes, it's not about being there first. Sometimes it's about being there together. All of us."
"You said it," J.D. agreed.
"You forgot me," said Lucy. Lincoln, Clyde, and the girls get startled by her appearance.
"Oh yeah, You too, Lucy," J.D agreed as he checked the time and was startled at how late it was. "Oh, my gosh! Look at the time! Wow, you guys, this has been so exciting! I can already tell we're going to be best friends."
Lincoln smiled. "I think so too."
"It's literally been nice having you here," said Lori.
"You're one Rockin' Dude," said Luna.
J.D. makes a rock-on sign using his fingers. "Rockin'!"
Lynn smiled. "I'll admit. You're alright, J.D."
"Yeah, you are pretty cool," agreed Lucy. "For a mortal man."
"Because I enjoy your company so much, you're welcome to all of my tea parties," Lola explained. "But you better not be late to all of them or I'll..."
Lana pushes Lola to stop her from continuing. "What Lola meant to say was, we look forward to having you here more."
"Affirmative," Lisa nodded. "We could really use another male unit in this household."
"Yeah," agreed Luan. "Anyone who laughs at my jokes is A-OK in my book."
"A.D!." Lily laughed.
"You're really sweet, J.D.," said Leni.
J.D. smiled in gratitude. "Thanks, Leni. I think you girls are all sweet, too."
"Come on, guys," Lincoln said, "Group Hug!"
Everyone came in for a group hug.
J.D. widened his eyes. "Oh, Wow. Well, I gotta go. See you guys tomorrow."
J.D. waved to them as he was going out the door.
"Bye, J.D.," said all the Loud kids, waving goodbye.
He started walking the block home, and he eventually got home. "Yeah. I think I'm really gonna like it here in Michigan."
THE END
Notes: There you have it. Sorry for the long wait on the update. I didn't change much in this chapter. See you next chapter.
