Chapter Eighty One: A Dream of Wars Gone By
The scene opens on a house. One storey, just big enough for the six people that live inside, surrounded by a garden that occasionally threatens to swallow the house whole with its luscious greens and endless flowers. It was the typical tile roof and wooden weatherboard combo, with garishly white paint that shone in the sunlight, or maybe that was just how she remembered it.
And the garden. Its size didn't come simply from the space it occupied; the rainforest's worth of plants and flowers made it appear wilder and more mysterious than a simple suburban lawn had any right to be. Encased by the sort of white picket fence you'd see on TV, flowers crawling up the planks, it was its own private paradise, hidden from the rest of the world. The type of place you could disappear into for hours and never get lost.
It looks like a nice house, not the type that would win awards or appear in magazines, but one that serves its purpose: sheltering people, giving a family room to live comfortably, to sleep and eat and play safely.
At least, that was how Alaska liked to remember it.
The front door banged open, tearing Alaska away from her wistful gazing at the endless garden. A small girl ran into the garden at full pace, screaming hysterically, arms flapping as though trying to fly. A Pidgey trailed in her wake, twittering and squeaking as enthusiastically, soaring into the air and flying about in circles above the screaming girl. There didn't seem to be any point to what they were doing, but there didn't need to be. The girl was young, carefree, oblivious to all that was coming her way. When you're young, there is no need to consider the future, not when it exists in the distance, so out of reach.
"You look so happy."
"I know. I can't even remember the last time I smiled like that. Maybe this was the last time."
"What makes you think that?"
"This is the day I got Paige, I'm pretty sure. I can't remember much about it, just unwrapping the PokeBall and screaming. Wait, that's not true." Alaska sighed, feeling guilty at the mere thought of it. "I remember being disappointed – it was only for a few seconds, but I've been thinking about it a lot recently, that little moment where I nearly said no to her. I don't think anyone ever dreams of their first Pokémon being a little bird, one of thousands that live right next to your house, you know? I wanted something like a… fuck, I can't even remember. Poliwag! That's what it was. Wow, I only just remembered that. Imagine if I had to do all this with a Politoed, just standing there clapping at the robots until they go away."
It was painful to say out loud, the first time she ever had ever shared this with someone else. Latios made no comment, though, simply staying behind her, the mere presence of his being comfort enough, allowing Alaska to speak freely.
"I don't regret getting her now, though. I don't think I would still be here if it wasn't for her, all the support she's given me, which is weird cause she is just a bird and she can't really do a lot but flap, but it's nice that she hasn't, you know, flapped away after everything we've been through." As a tear came to her eyes, Alaska cursed herself for getting worked up over this, but she could not deny that she felt feel awful every time she remembered this day, that thought, never able to escape the guilt that surrounded her.
"I wish I was doing more for her. Paige last evolved weeks ago. I was so afraid of what that weird woman said about me riding her to my doom that I haven't trained her as much as I should have, and now I'm afraid she might have stagnated."
"She will evolve, you do not need to worry. Taking Darwin back in proves you are a good trainer. That is not one of your flaws."
"Gee, thanks," Alaska scoffed. "Well, I'm glad you think I'm handling Darwin, cause I have no idea how that's going to go. I only did it out of guilt, really. I felt so awful to think I put him there I couldn't abandon him again, not after the trauma I caused."
"Trauma you used on the battlefield."
"I know, you don't need to tell me, I feel scummy enough as it is." Alaska sighed, rubbing her eyes as she turned towards Latios. "I don't know the full extent of how he is now; he's mostly just been silent and withdrawn so far. Once his injuries are fully healed it'll be interesting to see how he is, so I've got a few days, hopefully, a fortnight, to think of how I can handle – FUCKING HELL."
Alaska nearly fell to the ground as she covered her eyes: there was no Pokémon waiting behind her, only a blue light that shone like a crack across the back of her memory. It was blinding, and when Alaska opened her eyes the image was burnt into her brain, seeping throughout the rest of the memory to give it an aqua tinge.
"I am sorry." Latios' voice was jarring and distant for a second. It was as though her brain had briefly gone out of tune, but slowly it was coming back into focus, and after a few seconds Alaska could hear her past shrieks once more.
"It's fine, it's not your fault… well, it probably is, actually…"
"You have never set eyes on me, so you cannot visualise me properly. At least, I can only assume that is the problem. I have never been able to step into the dreams of those I bond with before, not like this."
"This isn't really a dream, though, is it? Don't you wake up if you realise you're dreaming?"
"You are right. My sister made reference to the Dream World having changed, but I was not sure what to make of it until now. At any rate, it seems that we have more control of our subconscious selves now, can choose what we dream – or, in this case, reflect on. Is there a reason you wanted to show me this?"
Alaska looked back at the garden. She wasn't sure if it was her memory or how it had really unfolded, but her younger self – wearing a hideous navy blue dress that felt quite Poliwag-esque – and Paige seemed to simply be running in circles. Literally. It was like watching a video on a loop, the two caught in an endless cycle of carefree joy. It was strange to watch, but Alaska imagined might just be how things were back then: pointless, stupid, time slipping by, but carefree and ridiculous, the way youth should be.
"When I wake up tomorrow, I start training, not to help myself but to try and save the world. I just wanted someone to talk to, someone not… as involved in everything. I don't know, I just feel strange. I have fought this for so long, to think that once I wake up I'll be really accepting this, saying goodbye to my life… it's a lot to process.
"It's strange to think about… my life before all this happened." The emotion in her voice was so overwhelming Alaska noticed it herself, and she wiped away her tears, wondering briefly if she was really crying or if it was all imaginary. "Thirteen years spent completely oblivious to what was coming my way, living life as though I would simply grow up normal like everybody else – travel a bit, battle the gyms maybe, settle down and get a job at the end of it. And now…" There was a pause, but Alaska didn't notice, lost as she stared down at the dancing, happy girl.
"Over the last few days, I've wondered what would have happened in they had tracked me down earlier or something. Like, if someone just knocked on my door one morning and said 'Hello there, we need to take your daughter with us. We believe she might have to save the world in a few years' time and we'd like to prepare for that'. I don't know if that would have been better or worse, cutting straight to the point like that…"
"Your life was also going to unfold this way, whether you were aware of it or not. You cannot mourn a future that was never going to be yours. Regardless, you are writing yourself off before you even begin. You have fought valiantly, if unusually, so far. There is nothing to suggest you will not survive, that you will not be able to live the life you dreamed of at the end of this."
Alaska laughed, causing the tears to fall out of place and tumble down her face. She turned and faced the light despite the pain. "Do you think it will be that simple? Do you really think I could just ignore that the whole world is seemingly pre-determined, that we are simply acting out roles in a pre-written story?"
"That is a very black and white take on what you learnt," Latios replied in a deep, quivering tone that made Alaska think he was frowning. "You are not fully bound to one set path, there is no one dictating exactly how you must get from point A to point B." Alaska raised an eyebrow, and Latios sighed. "Alright, yes, people are trying to influence you, but the choices are still yours. You are one of many who has the curse of knowledge, who know the secrets of the world, but you are not controlled by them. There is no prophecy outlining your individual choices or what you do next, whether it be how you face Gideon or what you eat for breakfast tomorrow."
"Are you suggesting if I ask Bertram for waffles instead of pancakes tomorrow morning, the fate of the world might be irrevocably affected?" Alaska let that hang there, and after a moment Latios chuckled, a deep, booming sound that sounded jolly for a few seconds, but as it echoed the more Alaska became aware of the sadness lingering in every beat.
"Ok, so the prophecies do not control every part of my life, but they have given me a path – a vague one, I'll give you that, but still a path – and I am not going to be able to completely ignore it. And if I do survive, what happens with the next prophecy? This doesn't seem to be a job where you only get one apocalypse to deal with: everything I do after winning, should that happen, would simply lead me towards the next disaster."
"Potentially, but what makes you think you would be called?"
"Um, hello – you," Alaska said incredulously, nearly holding back a laugh.
"What about me?"
"Are you forgetting that you are a god? A god that I just happen to be bonded to for whatever reason? I kind of imagine this isn't a one-time-only deal that expires after Gideon gets arrested, am I right?"
Latios didn't say anything for a while, which Alaska was fine with. This was quickly becoming intense, more than it currently was, and she wanted a chance to breathe before they got too deep. For a few seconds or a few hours, she watched herself and Paige running around in the endless loop, hoping to become lost in the past.
"Yes, I am a god, and you and I are cosmically linked now. Is that why you wanted to see me, to confirm you cannot get out of this?
Alaska hadn't realised it until he said it but knew it was true before Latios had finished his sentence. "Look at that girl, look at her and imagine trying to tell her she is destined to be psychically bound to a god, it's mad! After your… peers judged me the other day, I just know that the further I get into this, the more you and I will become one, that it will suddenly become normal that there is this connection between us."
Latios made a noise as though pondering, the sound a judgemental professor might make. "Does that frighten you?"
"Of course."
"Why?"
"It's… that's a lot of power I'd be connected to. I've spent so long focusing on avoiding what's coming I haven't had time to stop and think about what it really means for this to be happening. I don't think – no, I know I don't want that."
"You have nothing to be afraid of, the effects on you would be minimal."
"But you're a god. I didn't start all of this to end up with a fucking god under my control. I started this to prove that you don't need strength to be the best, and this kind of goes against that."
A deep chuckle made the whole image shake, and Alaska turned angrily back to the light.
"What exactly is so funny?"
"The fact you think you still believe that."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Did you not truly leave home to do something groundbreaking? Is this whole journey not an excuse for you to show the world your strength, what you are really worth?"
"What? How dare you, that is not –"
"I can see into your thoughts, Alaska, you cannot lie to me."
The image around them changed instantaneously. Alaska snapped back around to find her house had disappeared and a golden statue now sat in its place. Every time she thought of the Warrior Statue, of Red and Leaf's smug faces frozen in time, Alaska remembered the locals who idolised it, the crowds who swarmed to Viridian, those who treated the journey to it like some great religious pilgrimage, leaving flowers, tributes, tokens scattered at their golden feet as some feeble and undeserved recognition of what they had done.
But in this scene, it was bare. Only one figure stood there: a girl, not as innocent as she had once thought yet more so than what she would become. Fists clenched, face vengeful, this was a girl who clearly thought she had seen it all, that her life had gotten as bad as it could possibly get. She looked at the statue with a face that could have melted it, a glare so heated and withering Alaska was ashamed she had used it mere minutes into her journey, that she had judged a piece of metal with the same disgust she would later reserve solely for the shadowy men out to end her.
"You left home to make a statement, yes, one disguised in your belief of training unremarkable, unexciting Pokémon, but we both know that was not where you wanted to stop. If that was your goal all along, why wait until Chloe Carmichael left?"
"Oh no, don't try and make this about –"
"But it is about her, is it not?" Alaska knew that if she could actually see Latios, he would be smiling as he said this, a triumphant grin as though he had finally unveiled a trap long in the making. She opened her mouth to argue, but the legendary powered past. "Maybe not her specifically, but those she represents. Chloe and her family, your siblings and their education, champions and their allies: those who have it lucky, the easily recoverable from all that have befallen them. When you knew Chloe would be given this one-way ticket to Red's doorstep, you were spurned into action, were you not? The blog, your plan, that simply was built around your desire to leave, to prove that you were at least better than Chloe, the nearest, most visible and most pertinent of your enemies.
"Yet once you got the idea in your head, it became about Red. You wanted to prove him mortal, crush the martyr that had come to dominate your life. He represents everything you hate about the world: the powerful, the mighty, those of mysterious, world-shaping influence, or am I simply exaggerating the same way you did?"
"What are you trying to achieve?" Alaska's voice cracked as her words exploded out in angry, guttural growl, her body clenching up like the shadowy memory behind her.
"Red simply became the final prize as five years of resentment, disappointment, confusion and anger finally reached breaking point. You could defeat Chloe or your siblings, but felling one hurdle once would achieve nothing, not in your mind. Yet take down the biggest hurdle of them, and you must have just proved a point. What point exactly, I am not really sure, but then again, are you?"
"Stop this."
"I feel that this may be where most of your conflict the past few weeks has lain. It is not about having to save the man you think you hate, but rather the fact you want to see him fail. Why get in the way of Buzz and Gideon when you all seek the same end result: destroying an icon, punishing him for what you perceive as a slight against you?
"I don't want him dead! I never wanted him to die, I wanted him to know that he can't take the credit for saving a city he destroyed!"
"Would it not be better for him to die though? Die a champion rather than fail and all he achieved failing with him?"
"WHAT ARE YOU EVEN FUCKING ON ABOUT?"
The memory shattered. Suddenly Alaska was standing on what seemed like a cloud, a swirling lump of pink smoke that surrounded them yet was impervious to their presence. She knew straight away this wasn't a dream or a memory, yet it felt familiar, as though she had been here before. She thought for a second if it Sabrina's gym, but everything was more gaseous, swirling and churning as though waiting to form into something else.
As much as it confused her, Alaska couldn't focus on it. Angry tears descended her face as struggled to find the words to level at Latios, sentences profound and raged enough to convey what she felt. She turned towards him, intrinsically just wanting to yell and swear and protest, random words coming to her lips, desperate to shout them out.
Yet as she opened her mouth, only a sigh escaped. She was tired. Even in her head, Alaska was done with fighting. She had spent the last weeks arguing and debating, and after everything she had been through, Alaska felt broken, unable to carry on pushing back against a system much stronger and better prepared than she. And what if Latios was telling the truth? Could she really argue against him when she couldn't even tell if he what he had said was true or not?
"Just cause you're in my head doesn't mean you get to psychoanalyse me." Alaska slumped down, landing on something resembling a floor, staring wearily at the world. "You're a Psychic type, not a therapist."
Latios made the same noise like he was smirking again, and Alaska wasn't sure whether to be amused or annoyed. "I am not analysing you, I am informing you. I simply see the words in the back of your head. You say you are afraid of taking the final step towards the life laid out for you, that you don't want to forget about your mission. I am simply pointing out that I know what you truly desire, Alaska, and a simple life is not that – at least not after what happened to your city. You tell yourself you do not want the power that comes through bonding with me – which, by the way, is vastly different to your human concept of capturing, but that is an explanation for another tale – but I am merely saying that perhaps it is what you want, you just don't know it."
Alaska shook her head. "I know it's not. Maybe I didn't leave home purely to prove a Pidgey could be a winning starter, who knows – I'm 13, I don't go to school, I don't know about psychology! But I do know I never wanted to be in a position of a leader, either in a way where I end up inspiring joy, fear or both. I wanted to make a statement, I wanted to defeat Red. The last thing I ever wanted was to become him."
There was a pause for either a moment or an eternity, but a more softly spoken Latios eventually replied. "That I think is true. Whether it is your sole reason for fighting now, I am not sure."
"Well, I don't really want to keep going on about it," Alaska sighed. "Maybe we can start talking about you for a change. You may be in my head, but I can see into yours as well. I've heard voices over the past week since Saffron, whispers that I know have nothing to do with me. Every time someone mentions war or Kalos –
The scene changed so violently Alaska nearly screamed. She leapt to her feet as a burning city appeared beneath her, pink smoke giving war to total devastation. A city she didn't recognise was entirely on fire, buildings imploding all at once, skyscrapers and towers collapsing to the streets below. Smoke surrounded her yet in this nightmare memory it could not touch her, leaving Alaska to imagine what horrors lay beneath her.
"- that happens."
There was no response. A silence unlike anything Alaska had experienced filled her mind. Beneath them, buildings burnt, flames tore through streets, people died in packs as hellfire rained around them. But it was in a vacuum, presented without commentary. Alaska had searched for footage from the fall of Kalos after talking to Bertram, but nothing could come close to the real thing. This was what she imagined the Distortion World was like: people in pain, burning, tortured for eternity in a flaming wasteland. Words escaped her. This world was indescribable, simply fire and death, but one thought reverberated around her: whatever had happened to Viridian, this was much worse.
"The last human I was bonded with died here." Alaska had become so transfixed by what she was witnessing she had forgotten about Latios. His voice was distant and mournful, decade-old sadness penetrating every word. "My sister and I were amongst the few of our kind who roamed the earth before the war, so naturally we were first on the scene when we learnt what was happening. It was overwhelming, unlike anything we had ever experienced. In the chaos, trying to process everything, one of the enemy missiles hit me. The pain… when that bond is closed, it is indescribable, and in that pain, I lost it. I attacked blindly, not caring who I was hurting, if I was meant to be protecting them or not. When the other deities were unleashed, they had to control me as much as stopping the army.
"I have bonded with few humans over the centuries, less than my sister has, which has made my connections to those rare few stronger. The pain of that loss was so intense I had to revert inside the Enigma Crystal that birthed me to cope, and for seventeen years I stayed there, stewing on my past, my mistakes, what I would do differently. You wanted to know why you, why we are destined to be together? Perhaps it is because we are both toxic. The rage that burns within me, I can feel it in your soul: Red, Chloe, your family, the world, you have a fire that makes you and me one in the same. I think I need you as much as you need me."
There was nothing left to say. Latios had trailed off near the end, sounding wearier and sadder with each syllable, and Alaska did not want to push him further. Quiet fell between them again, Alaska and this strange crack of light hovering over a nightmare – though that seemed like a perfect summary of her life to date. Words, whispers, bounced around them as Alaska stared at the scene, thinking about why she had called for him tonight, about what had happened and what will. Time passed on and the memory kept replaying, and Alaska looked down thinking of Bertram, thinking about his story and what he had done to survive.
Eventually, the silence overwhelmed her. "How did you even fit inside a rock?"
"It's a… godly thing. You wouldn't understand," Latios answered wearily.
"I bet that's what you tell all the girls." Alaska paused, smirking, but her smile died when it was met with silence. "What is this whole bonding thing, actually? Is it like a ceremony, or…?"
"You will learn in time."
"When? Is that part pre-destined?"
"It is undoubtedly noted somewhere in the cosmic plan of time and space, but I am not aware of any details, it will simply happen when we are both ready. I would have come for you already, but breaking out of the rock before you had properly summoned me, it reopened some of the scars I spent years trying to close. My sister has had to heal me, and I am nearly at full strength. And then –"
"Then the party begins."
"Quite."
Alaska looked back down at the city, the memory looping over and over as they spoke. She wasn't aware she had needed answers, as there was no question she had thought to ask, but seeing this memory, she knew more than ever what she had to do. "I'm ready. Well, I think I am," Alaska said, thin-lipped but determined. "Whatever it takes, training with Janine or bonding with you, if it stops that from happening again, I have to be prepared to do it."
"You are willing to ignore your convictions to save the world?"
"That's the sort of thing a hero has to do, right?" Alaska sighed. "I don't know what happens next, but I know there is literally no backing out of this now."
"There never was any chance of that. You were simply the last one to realise it."
"I know that, stop reminding me," Alaska tutted. "I just meant… I can't change my mind anymore. I've chosen a path, I have to commit to now. I don't want power, but I'll do anything to stop the world from ending, anything that will help me move on after."
"No more trying to live in the past?"
Alaska glanced at Latios and gestured down at the memory. "Clearly, the past isn't really worth living in, is it?"
"That is very true about mine, but yours? Are you ready to leave this behind?" Smoke was replaced by greenery, and Alaska found herself back where they had begun. Sound returned in the form of her youthful shrieks, and she looked back at the happy-go-lucky girl untouched by war and devastation, the girl with only dreams before her, the girl she longed to be once more.
"The past won't save me now, will it?" It was all she could manage, the memory hitting deep. Alaska didn't want to move on, but necessity, prophecy, dictated otherwise, and saying farewell to her past was one part of her next step. She assumed Latios could hear her as he did not interrupt for some time, leaving her to watch the scene play out as though alone with an old movie.
"Daylight approaches. I should leave you to enjoy what remains of your sleep in peace."
"How considerate, I'm sure I'm going to be as fresh as a daisy when I wake up from this." Alaska glanced over her shoulder, unwilling to look away from herself but wanting to say goodbye. "Thank you, though, for this. I didn't realise I needed it."
"Yes you did, otherwise I would not have come, but you are welcome." Latios sounded genuinely proud as he said that, and Alaska couldn't help but smile. "Until we meet properly, Alaska Acevedo."
"Until then." The light suddenly got brighter, which Alaska took as a sign of his leaving. Something occurred to her suddenly, and Alaska smirked at the thought.
"Hey, before you piss off: would it be too naff to ask if this is real or if it's all just happening in my head?" She said, beaming. Latios let out his booming laugh once more, the light quivering as it got brighter still.
"Oh Alaska, we're far beyond the point of pretending this isn't real." Alaska began laughing herself, and as the light washed over her, rapidly engulfing her dream, she turned back towards her old memory one last time. For what felt like hours, she watched her younger self and Paige running wildly around the garden, content, for now.
