Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.

Warnings: Violence/Gore, mentions/attempt of suicide and character deaths


"Someone, please shoot me!" I shouted as loud as I could.

Life had taken a sharp turn downhill. From seven in the morning until dinner, the Cullen sisters dressed me up in anything they could dream of. And I could stand that, that was nothing. But then came the makeup, the mani-pedis, the hairstyles they'd see online and just needed to see on me. Involuntary group sewing sessions had become a recent thing in my slow descent into hell. It was Alice's solution to me not liking anything they dressed me in. For the most part, though, I was a doll for both her and Alice to play with whenever they wanted. And, boy, had they played and played and played. For eight days.

How could I make it more clear how much I hated being their plaything?

Carlisle had been real anal-retentive about me resting and not walking at all. He insisted on my rest even when I told him over and over again that I was fine. I wasn't some human who took months to fix. One day, I got so frustrated over arguing with Carlisle about how soon I should be allowed up that I tried to phase. It was to prove a point, one that would've made all his arguments moot. Well, that happened to be the same day I got shot with my first tranquilizer. To be fair, he warned me three times before he dosed me up, but he still felt awful about it. It left a weird taste in my mouth and caused dreams so disorienting that I woke up just to vomit.

And I still preferred the tranq gun over what Alice and Rosalie did to me every day. I even preferred fighting newborns.

"Stop with the dramatics, Leah. If you keep acting so childish, I'll put you in a tutu tomorrow." Rosalie tutted at me and then proceeded to yank on my hair. She was braiding it, she would've said, but I knew she was actually playing the long game in an elaborate play to scalp me.

"Stop pulling so hard!" I snapped at her and tried to bat away her hands. I put no real strength into the hits, so I doubted it felt like more than butterfly kisses to her fingers.

She hummed one sweet note and then pulled away. "Finished." She didn't bother showing me the style. In the beginning, she had, but she'd hated my lackluster reactions so much that I won and she stopped. "Look in the mirror. Try and tell me you're not beautiful."

I looked straight into my reflection at Rosalie's vanity. "I'm not beautiful."

"And I thought Bella was stubborn." She sighed folding one arm over her stomach as she pressed the fingers on her free hand up to her lips. She was assessing her work, impressed with it. "You know why I went for more of a minimalist look today?"

Eager to get her play-time over with, I asked, "Why?"

"I noticed your eyelashes. They're already perfect. Your skin's also perfect, too. Is that a shapeshifter thing? The mongrel also has nice skin and so do Seth and your little alpha."

"I wouldn't know because I couldn't possibly care less." She huffed at my answer, looking as offended as could be. I couldn't have cared less about that either. "Can I take my hair down now?"

"Sure. There's another style I wanted to try anyway."

"Ugh!" I let my head fall forward onto the vanity with a loud thunk. "Can't you go bother Seth for today?"

She made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. "It's not as fun with him. He's happy to sit around and let me put makeup on him—he's gorgeous in fall colors, by the way."

The mental image of Seth in a dress with full makeup was a bit disturbing. "Better him than me."

"There's that sense of loyalty all dogs have," she teased. She picked my hand and stuffed a makeup wipe into it. I sat up fast and scrubbed my face off hard enough with the wipe that I got all flushed. "Such an overreaction."

"Bite me." She actually looked surprised and I snorted at the priceless look on her face.

She recovered pretty fast. "You know, you're a lot less mean when Alice does this to you."

"Alice doesn't do it to torture me."

"That's hardly fair," she remarked, a dazzling grin on her face.

I worked on unraveling the braid until she took over for me. Her nimble fingers got rid of the detailed plaiting that had taken her a few minutes to do. Minutes were pockets of forever to a vampire. She took her time in giving me makeovers on purpose to piss me off.

I looked up at her and said, "I'm walking by myself to the bathroom."

"Go ahead." She waved me off and watched as I hobbled to her freshly sterilized bathroom.

I sat down on the toilet with care, my pelvis still tender. I didn't sleep well lately, so I didn't heal well either. My pelvis must have set wrong and Carlisle fixed it before I woke up because black bruises were all over my hips. I was sure if I put Carlisle's fingers to them, they'd be a perfect match.

Rosalie sighed and music started playing through her room. White noise was always helpful for me, in any situation. She knew that by now because whether I wanted to admit it or not, she had—in some capacity—been taking care of me all week.

God, what had my life become?

Vampire stink didn't bother me anymore and vampires, themselves, had become my allies. My nurses. My comrades. My imprint. In the strangest turn of events, I respected the Cullens. It took me a while to accept that, but I had nothing but time to sit around and ponder life. And in between the bathroom pondering sessions, I spent every waking second with at least one vampire by my side.

A lot had changed since the battle with the newborns in that grassy clearing.

Jacob had been with Bella every day since the battle and hadn't phased once to let anyone know what was going on. It was starting to worry Sam, but no one was as concerned as Billy. I knew that because Billy had actually called me the other day to wish me a swift recovery. Also, to urge me to go get Jacob and bring him back home. But I was just happy Billy had called me at all. It seemed so impossible. Sam had told me everyone was starting to miss me back at home more than they hated me, but I hadn't believed him. He'd also mentioned how the pack had changed, becoming more stressed-out than ever. It seemed to be getting to them, Jacob's silence. They'd always ask Sam to ask me if I knew anything new. And I guessed I got why. Now that I was tied to Edward, I was also intrinsically tied to the messy love triangle, too.

Edward hadn't been back since the day of the battle either, though…. I had a sinking suspicion he was in the same place as Jacob. Most of the time, I was waiting for him to show up. I was on edge all the time, every distant noise making me freeze until I knew it wasn't him. Even when Sam and Emily visited, we spent our time together in silence. Sam listened with me while Emily graded her students' papers and things like that. Then, there was Seth who stuck around like a barnacle I couldn't scrape off of my side. He came so often that he'd started blending in with the Cullens like background decoration. And unless Alice or Rosalie forced me out of lurking in Edward's room, I would never leave. I would forget the world and curl up in the thick comforter on his bed and wait.

There were rare times in my distended, disorienting days at the Cullen house when I'd stay out at the back. I'd post up on the wrap-around porch that perched me on the edge of nature. But, even then, I would read the books from Edward's collection out there. In his room, I listened to his music, trying to figure out the chaotic order he'd put it in. And I was always listening.

"Ow," I whispered as I stood up from the toilet lid. I walked over to the sink and splashed cold water on my face, hoping for some relief. I couldn't seem to be anywhere but on edge all the time.

A perpetual discomfort followed me through everyday and into the nights. I couldn't even think of sleeping unless I crashed on Edward's bed, but even then it wasn't a guarantee that I'd blink out. Restless couldn't even come close to how I felt. My life had become this awkward and odd thing that didn't even feel like mine at all. It wasn't enjoyable, there was no light, no sweetness. I was stuck being uneasy and hopeless I waited for all those things to come back—for him to come back. But it wasn't painful. Not anymore.

So, now I'd begun to worry that I'd lost the authentic bond and I could only feel the rough aftershocks of the real deal. I found myself trying to picture him in my head to make sure I still loved him, but it never looked right. His skin would be too reflective, the line of his jaw would be too sharp. I could never get how his eyes would go from clear-cut gemstone to melted golden honey in a second. So, I added dread and panic to the long list of negative effects I experienced from not seeing Edward for over a week.

"You should live in a bathroom, you seem to love them so much. I'll never understand what your obsession is all about. What's so great about a room with a toilet?" Rosalie was in rare form that day. I was pretty sure I knew why.

"Well, you're not in them. If you ask me, that's pretty freakin' great." She tittered at my instant insult and I heard her run downstairs. Emmett was happy to receive her and let her sit in his lap.

"It should be illegal to look that cool! The Rock is on another level!" Emmett bellowed from downstairs. He had this way of being able to get excited about anything. He was also the only one I hadn't minded carrying me around, he made it more of a game and not an embarrassment.

"Pay more attention to me," Rosalie whined in that special voice she only ever used for Emmett. It always snatched his focus away from everything else.

"He can't! Doom is on, Rose!" Seth exclaimed and I heard his fist-bump with Emmett. I could recognize it by sound now because they fist-bumped so often.

Seth was the reason for Rosalie's vicious mood. She'd gotten used to my smell, but not his, and he'd made it a habit to constantly be around. He'd slept over last night, too, so the whole house had been invaded with his scent.

"Leah! Esme's cooking tonight! What do you wanna eat?" Seth called from where he was sitting on the couch as I was hobbling out of Rosalie and Emmett's bedroom.

I stood at the top of the stairs to reply, "Number one, you don't have to yell for me to hear you, genius. Number two, I already told you I don't care. You're the picky eater."

"Oh, right. Can you cook that meatloaf tonight, Esme? Oh, and can you make me some steak?"

"Of course, honey." Esme ran to the kitchen and got to work. I rolled my eyes as familiar clanging started and hobbled downstairs.

Out of everyone here—even Emmett—Esme got the biggest kick out of Seth setting up camp at the Cullen residence. She couldn't baby any of her adopted kids since they would complain about it, so Seth was Godsend. Emmett was a close second to Esme and scared the hell out of me by roughhousing with Seth all the time. They did this thing where they pretended to be pro wrestlers that I hated almost as much as Rosalie.

Saint Esme asked as she was grilling, "Would you like me to cut it up for you, Seth?"

I pointed at Seth from the bottom of the stairs where he was sitting on the couch. "If you say yes again, I'm sending you home."

He scowled at me before he said, "No, it's alright, Esme. I can do it myself."

"And please, for the love of God, Esme, stop peeling his apples. He fought a skilled newborn all by himself, he can eat an apple with the skin on it." It was ridiculous when the babying had started. I didn't even know what it was now, but it had to stop.

Esme peeked out from the kitchen's entryway as I hobbled past the hallway to smile at me. "He's so cute, I don't mind doing it for him."

"I thought you wanted to be a wolf someday, Pup. Don't let Esme fool you back into a state of infancy," Emmett teased with a broad grin on his face. He liked to tease Seth and Rosalie liked to annoy me.

They were such a charming couple.

"You'll have to start calling me Wolf soon. Quil taught me some tricks last night and I can definitely beat you now," Seth taunted. He loved wrestling with Emmett, he thought it was a bunch of fun. Meanwhile, I would cringe whenever he so much as stubbed his toe.

The battle had made me even more protective over Seth, but it had also changed him in a lot of ways. He guarded his shoulder too much and was hesitant to go in for the kill in sparring with Emmett. Then there were the nights when he stayed over at the house. It would kill me every time he slept over because he'd have a nightmare. He would never mention it the next day but I knew it was always about the battle, about me. Emmett took care of him after a nightmare, a fact I could never appreciate enough, but I was done being the cripple. I'd take care of Seth myself.

I walked over to the couch and held up a hand when Seth made a move to get up so I could have his spot. "I'm good. But, hey, how was school today?"

"Not great." He deflated and caught Rosalie and Emmett's attention. "Lana's flirting with me all the time now and I can't get her to stop."

"Wow. I get the imprint thing, Pup, but c'mon. Have some fun! Get some action with the most popular girl at school!" Emmett clapped Seth on the back and let out a loud laugh.

I crossed my arms. "Don't listen to him. He's a bad influence—he's a vampire. Don't shame your ancestors, Seth." I only seemed to make Emmett laugh harder. Seth ended up laughing with him.

The Cullens had been amazing and accommodating as I recovered, more than I would ever admit out loud. Rosalie was being sweet in her own way by putting up with my scent all day without complaint. Alice only dressed me up because it was what made her feel better and she wanted me to feel better, too. Jasper was always using his power to lessen my pains and aches. Esme was sweeter than raw sugar cane, I could find no flaw in that woman. Carlisle was stern, but never actually mean or cruel toward me. They were all very thoughtful and helpful in their own ways. It wasn't them that made it so horrible. It was Edw—

"Actually, you're homesick. Edward's the closest you have to home, so you think it's him you miss—and you do. Technically. But, it's not only him you miss," Jasper commented from the couch where he was reading a novel as thick as a football. He didn't even look up at me as he ordered, "Go visit home. You'll feel a lot better."

"You're a lot braver to voice your opinion when Alice isn't around," Rosalie accused, grinning when Jasper shot her a pointed glare.

Esme said from the kitchen, "Jasper's right, Rose. Leah can walk well enough now to where she should be allowed to go see her friends and spend time with them."

"Really?" My spirits shot up in a heartbeat as it became a real possibility to go home. Jasper was onto something.

"Of course, honey. Carlisle tends to be overprotective of the people he cares about. You can't let that stop you all the time. I certainly don't." She flipped the steak, its delicious smell swirling through the air. "But I would get going before Carlisle gets back, if I were you."

Rosalie chimed, "Ask for forgiveness, not permission."

"But call me hourly, so we know you're ok," Esme added with a concerned note to her sweet voice.

Esme really was Carlisle's better half. "I promise I'll call," I responded, pleased as could be. Eight was the magic number, after all. Not three. I'd gotten shot down pretty hard when I'd tried to leave on day three of recovery. "Seth, you comin'?"

"Aw, but Esme's making me a steak," he said and pouted up at me. He usually jumped to follow me around. I was glad that the annoying phase had finally ended. "Can you wait until it's done and I can take it with us? I don't want you going out alone." Never mind.

"No, I'm not waiting. I'll see you when I get back."

Seth started to get up then. "Ok, I'll eat it when we get back."

"Bear-Master, will you allow The Pup to leave without having a proper match?" I asked, shooting Emmett a pleading look when Seth had to take his eyes off of me to glance back at him.

Lucky for me, he got the message loud and clear. "I will not! Now, get outside so we don't destroy Esme's antiques!"

Seth's mouth pulled into a boyish grin that gave away all his excitement. He couldn't resist the challenge. "Ah, fine! Leah, I'll catch up!"

"Ok, dork. See ya." He shot over and gave me a hug that made me groan in protest. He gave me a peck on the cheek before sprinting after Emmett into the backyard.

Rosalie glowered as she watched the two of them start wrestling around out in the grass. "Thanks a lot, Leah. It's so nice being ignored by my husband so he can pretend to be a pro wrestler in the backyard with a fourteen-year-old."

I ignored her sarcasm and smiled as I said, "You're very welcome." She just scoffed and started channel-surfing. I turned to the other blonde in the room, knowing he was listening even if he looked busy reading his book. "Jasper, you're my favorite Cullen. Thank you."

Jasper shot me a wry smile and waved goodbye before I turned and dashed for the door. I barely remembered to grab my keys as I went. Sam had brought my car over a few days ago and that was the same day Rosalie spent all night fixing it up for me. She'd claimed that she couldn't stand the sight of it and props to her for saving me hundreds of dollars in repairs. My van actually looked like a van again instead of something you'd see as a movie prop for a disaster scene.

It felt so good to hear the familiar click of my car doors unlocking. I peeled out of their driveway in record time and hightailed it out of there. I only slowed down when I remembered what was waiting for me back home. My mom hadn't visited yet and that was a warning if I'd ever seen one. If I showed up on her doorstep, she'd execute me, medieval style.

The next best place I could think of going other than home was Emily's, but then that ran the risk running into the pack. I doubted they were as sympathetic toward me as Sam had tried to paint them. None of them had visited.

When it became clear that I had nowhere else to go, I drove to La Push beach. No one was there, so I decided that it was the perfect time to try and relax. I planted myself in the sand and tried not to think about Edward. I failed fifteen times in three minutes.

It was a relief when Emily found me on the beach. Claire was with her and she ran over the second she saw me. I picked her up because there was no way I was going to deny her when she reached up and listened to her talk. She had so much to tell me about school and her doll and Quil. She talked a lot about Quil and how much she loved him and how funny he was. I got jealous.

I wished Edward was two.

Claire sat in my lap while we all had a picnic at the beach, enjoying the outdoors. In the middle of Emily talking about Sam and Jared's arguments, Claire got distracted. She spotted a seashell she thought was pretty and ran off to go get it. Emily held a hand over her eyes as a makeshift visor against the sun, peering after the little princess. Claire had her hair in pigtails that day since I guessed her parents were trying to kill the world with how adorable she was.

"Don't go into the water and stay where I can see you, please!" Emily called after her before turning to me. The sun shined in a way that cast odd shadows along her scars, making them seem even deeper than they were. "So, tell me what it is."

"What?" I asked squinting against the sunlight. The clouds had cleared away out of nowhere. I wondered if Edward was in a place where he was safe and shielded from the unexpectedly sunny day.

"Oh, please, Leah. I've known you all my life and I know all your faces. You were moping until you saw us." She smiled and put a hand on my leg as she handed me another sandwich. "Wait, don't tell me. Let me guess."

I took a bite of the egg salad sandwich and grumbled, "Sure."

"It's Edward, isn't it?"

I sighed and looked out at the water, wishing I could swim away with the tide. "It's everything, Em. It's Edward, it's me, it's the pack. I don't even know what I'm doing on Quileute land. I'm not sure I belong here anymore."

"Stop that. You're still ours, no matter how much time you spend around them." She wrapped her arm around me and I let my head fall onto her shoulder.

Emily was the one person who could kind of understand the bad situation with me and Edward. It made it easier to talk to her about it. "I hate feeling this way, I hate being out of control. This is all so stupid and complicated and I can't even do anything about it. That's the worst part, the uselessness. I only hurt him, make his life hell." I pressed my lips together hard, biting down on them. I had to wait for the guilt to ease up on me so I could speak again. "We've only spoken a few times and it's not like any of our talks have gone well, but I...miss him. I wish I didn't miss someone else's boyfriend, but I do."

"So, we're talking about Edward then?"

I nodded, puffing out a deep breath. "He hated my guts, but after the whole dying incident, he can at least say he doesn't want me dead. Not because he cares about me, but because he cares about himself."

"That's not true. He cares."

I sat up, the frustration I'd been boxing away for days peeking out through the cracks. "How would you know? You can't know. It's hell on earth trying to connect with him. I never know what to say to him, Emily. Nothing that seems like it's the right thing is the right thing, it just makes him grimace—ugh, I hate that grimace! What the hell am I supposed to say to him that'll make him stop doing that?"

Emily patted my side in a comforting gesture and I let the sound of the waves washing up against the shore calm me. She only spoke when I glanced up at her. "I was in Edward's position once, sort of, so I may be able to give legitimate advice to your rhetorical questions." She was calm, deadly so. Emily never wavered when I came to her for help or advice, she was always there for me.

I loved her for that. "Ok, lay it on me."

"It's hard having to be the one who's going to break someone you love's heart, but the decision is always clear. There's never any real doubt about where we belong in the world, or who we belong with. Whatever ties you to us, ties us right back to you guys. It's the most amazing thing. It's this inescapable truth that we've found a piece of ourselves that we never even knew we were searching for." She eyed the sandwich in my hand that was practically untouched. It was hard to eat, I was so sad about Edward. Imprinting made me such a wimp. "Give it time, he'll come around."

"That's it? That's your advice? Wait for the unchanging, immortal vampire?" Carlisle had told me all about how vampires never changed and how if they did, they changed forever.

If I'd changed Edward, all I'd done was give him a greater capacity to hate people.

"Well, I also gave you a bit of insight into what he's feeling, but sure, let's ignore that," she said with a bit of a pout. She held her hand to my cheek before putting choppy strands of my hair back behind my ear. "Ok, cuz. If he asks for space, give it to him, but never be too far because he'll call you back. Until he asks for that space, be there, every day, by his side. Even if he won't admit it yet, it's what he wants. Whenever it gets awkward, don't let it be."

"How do I not 'let it be'?" I asked, using exaggerated air quotes.

She scratched her arm and flicked a glance at Claire when she squealed. "When Sam and I were still friends, every time I would get a little scared or feel bad about you, he'd crack a joke. It would always be the cheesiest thing I've ever heard and it'd always make me laugh or smile. Find something Edward likes and bring it up in silences. You have to use your imprint's likes and hobbies as your sword and shield in a case like this." Emily had always found Dad jokes hilarious in a completely un-ironic way. I'd forgotten about that little quirk.

"Ok, I can do that." It sounded simple enough to me, especially since I'd been snooping around Edward's things like it was my job. I had some idea of his interests. "But what about Bella? He always trashes me to make it clear how he's so in love with her. It sucks."

"It's self-defense. Let him know he doesn't need to feel like he has to choose—"

"But what if she makes him?" What if he chose her?

Emily put her hand over mine from where I was squishing the poor, uneaten sandwich in my lap. "She won't."

"How can you be so certain? It's what I'd do in her position."

She smiled again, but it lacked any actual cheer. "She knows about me and Sam. She knows how I chose him even though I love you like you're my own sister. She won't make him choose."

"By the way, why did you choose Sam?"

"What d'you mean? He imprinted and I love him, too. It's natural," she explained like I didn't already know.

I pulled my hand out from hers and said, "Imprinting doesn't mean you have to fall in love." Emily smiled again, but it was different. I felt like I was seven again and the adults were about to tell me I'd understand when I was a grown-up. "Em, I'm serious. If it's always romantic, what about Quil and Claire?"

"The person who's been imprinted on can't help but love their shapeshifter with everything they have. Claire doesn't think about those kinds of things, she's two—almost three. She loves Quil like she loves her mom or her dad because that's the deepest love she knows, Leah. Familial love. I doubt it'll change when she grows up because familial love is now the bedrock of their relationship."

I guessed that made sense. But was that really true? If you imprinted on an adult, it always turned romantic? "That can't be true for everyone."

"The imprint is pulled toward them, loving the shapeshifter is easier than breathing. And once the imprint loves them back, which they're bound to, it's only a matter of time."

"Until what?"

"Until you return the everything of themselves that they give you with the everything of yourself. Unconditional love is irresistible and once you love back, the bond only deepens. Claire and Quil went from best friends to bonafide family. Sam and I went from friends to falling in love to wanting to spend the rest of our lives with each other. I love Sam and having his love is a privilege I don't deserve." She started wringing her hands and she avoided my gaze. "If anything I've said makes you wanna hate me again—"

"Emily, that's done. I'm never hating you again." I dropped the stupid sandwich so I could take her hands in mine. "You're my sister, mistakenly born into the next family over."

Her eyes grew shiny, catching the light of the sun, and the smile she gave me trembled a bit. "I don't ever wanna lose you again, so next time scream at me when you're mad, ok? Be angry at me and then get it over with so we can be best friends again."

"Got it, I'll definitely do that. It actually sounds fun." She snickered and then sniffed, blinking away the extra shine in her eyes. And she just had to hug me again because she was a touchy-feely person.

I was patting her back when she mentioned, "I also used to grimace whenever I saw Sam. And whenever I cared about him and it came through, I'd bring you up to try and nullify it."

I pulled back fast. "Seriously?" Emily smiled at my reaction, looking pleased with herself.

"See? I told you I sorta knew. When I first started cooking for Sam, he got all excited. That scared me, so I said I was only doing it because it annoyed me when his stomach growled. I told him it didn't mean anything, but it did. It always does."

My last interaction with Edward started to look very different. "Would you also worry about him?"

"Always. I'd tell him to make sure no one could catch him phasing and then try to belittle my concern. I'd say it was for his mom's sake or yours, that neither of you needed to bear the weight of that knowledge." She had a knowing gleam in her eye. She'd hit the nail on the head and she knew it. "That's the first step. The next step can come fast or slow depending on how much time you spend with each other."

"And what's the next step?" Suddenly, Emily was the wisest woman in the world and her every word was pure gold.

She tapped her chin as she thought about it, remembering her own experience. "For me and Sam, it was timid, flighty friendship. But Sam says you and Edward are different than we were. Just from the way he reacted when you were hurt, Sam said he could tell you two have an extremely powerful connection."

"But after the friendship step did you two become family or fall in—?"

"He hurt me before we could get to the next step. Usually, when one or the other's life is threatened in an imprint bond, it speeds things along. Your imprint is tough to be holding out the way he is." Her gaze turned sympathetic and she patted my arm again. "Hang in there because it can all change really fast. I mean, even right up to when Sam lost control, I was still insulting him. Remember? I said—"

"He was just like his father. Oh my God, that's right." My imprint was…normal?

Edward grimacing and struggling for all his worth? Normal. Edward saying every hurtful thing he could think of to get me to go away? Normal. Edward seeming like he might care one second and then like he hated my guts the next? Normal! It was all normal, but I hadn't connected the dots because—

"I've been talking to a bunch of stupid vampires about imprinting instead of actual imprints!" I flopped down onto my back and Emily laughed. She rubbed my stomach and gave it a pat before I propped myself up on my elbows. "I love you now. Forever."

"Oh! Happy to help!" She laughed again and I had to laugh with her. She'd always had this funny, hiccupy laughter that was super contagious. I needed a laugh after the week I'd had. I wrapped my arms around Emily, locking her into a tight hug as a reward for being the best.

We went on to talk about more normal things as we watched over Claire. She hated her boss but still ended up inviting her to the wedding because she was a pushover. But she got three whole weeks off for her honeymoon because of it, so she wasn't too upset. I talked about what it was like getting all the leftover traces of venom out of my blood since it had time to spread far. It was like tiny flames in my veins were being put out with every blood transplant. And when we were thinking of other things to talk about, we watched Claire play and run away from the tide as it rushed in.

Seeing how cute she was, I had to ask, "Do you think you and Sam are gonna have kids?"

"Definitely—and lots of 'em. One time, he joked that he wanted to have three per arm so that when he lifted them up and spun, he could be a human swing ride. We joked about that one for a while, but I do think we'll have at least four kids." She had a huge smile on her face at the thought of her future. I hated that I'd ever robbed her of that joy. "What about you? How many kids do you want?"

Her question was a stab to the heart. It took me a moment to realize she was being serious and not cruel. I was so used to the pack's cruelty about it. "Emily, I can't have kids."

"What—why in the world do you think that?" She looked genuinely rattled by the old news and I realized no one in the pack had told her. I mean, I didn't know why they would've, but I'd always assumed Sam told her everything.

"My period stopped when I started phasing. And aren't warm places the place where sperm goes to die or something?"

She shook her head. "No, they thrive in warm and wet places. Y'know, because they're made to endure the journey to the uterus." She sat up and I let go of her so she could face me. "Y'know, I think you probably have a very friendly womb because you've always been way nicer than you let on."

"That was a weird sentence," I grumbled.

"Wasn't it? It sounded so much better in my head." She laughed and I joined in easily. "Well, you never know. With your bond a bit weaker, you may be able to find people attractive again. Imagine if you're the first shapeshifter to fall in love with someone other than their imprint. You'd be even more special than you already are. And if you get married, you don't know, you could get pregnant."

"Maybe." To be fair, I hadn't tried yet. I wasn't sure what would happen if I did.

Emily smiled at me, a secretive gleam in her eyes. "What do you think yours and Edward's children would look like?"

"Emily, don't." She raised her eyebrows but didn't carry on. "Why are you so supportive of me anyway? You know he's a cold one."

"It's easy," she claimed and looked like she meant it. "I'm just happy you're back in my life. It's the same with Sam, he missed you as his best friend. We'll put up with just about anything to keep you in our lives this time."

"Claire!"

Claire looked up from where she was making a rudimentary sand castle and all of her lit up. "Qwil!" And there Quil was, scooping her up into his bulky arms in seconds. I did my best not to hate him for getting to be with his imprint, failing for a few seconds before Emily pinched my arm.

"Look more friendly," she whispered to me before standing up and dusting herself off. He hadn't seen me yet, too focused on his imprint to see anyone else. "Hey, Quil. How was the dentist?"

"Fine. But now it's an awesome day because I get to spend it with Claire-bear!" He turned to look at Emily while Claire was still giggling, going all bug-eyed when he saw me. "Leah!" He ran over and pulled me up into an awkward side-hug. "Whoa, I owe Embry twenty bucks. He called it that you'd be here today. I thought it'd take you the full two weeks, but you're a total sucker for punishment!"

"Glad everyone was making money off of my pain," I commented in a snide tone, pushing out of the physical contact. I only got all touchy-feely with Emily because she'd made it a habit a long time ago. Same with Seth.

"Aw, don't be like that, Lee. Everyone actually missed you—even Paul. We all know he's a sucker for a good fight and you always gave it as good as you got." Claire hugged him tight as he stood there, grinning at me like a lunatic. Quil continued, "It's honestly so great to see you. Emily's pretty and all, but your face is like a cleanser for having to stare Jared's ugly mug all day."

I crossed my arms. "You haven't asked me once about how I'm doing."

"I know you're alright since you're here. Anyway, Paul kept saying stupid things and we would wait for you to jump on him before remembering you were gone. He's been on a roll since you left and even Jared's annoyed with him. Seth is mopey a lot now because of it. So, yesterday I went to Jake's to ask him to give Paul a real beatdown and set him straight." My heart leaped in my chest and my arms fell back to my sides. "What? Did I say something weird?"

"No, no. Just tell me what Jake said."

Quil sighed over top of Claire singing a soft song of nonsense under breath as she worked to climb him. His hand hovered protectively behind her in case she fell or lost her balance. "He wasn't there. Billy said he's been going to Bella's early every morning and staying late every night. But I did learn something."

"What?" I couldn't have asked faster.

"He's leaving."

Immediately, I was irritated. He was leaving? That was so ambiguous—that could've meant anything! Was he leaving forever? Was he taking Bella? Would Edward be going with them? It just gave me a million more questions that no one had any answers for.

"Qwil! Be my howse! I wanna pway howsey!" Claire demanded from his shoulders.

"You got it, sunshine! Look, Leah, I'll talk to ya later—but you should go see the others. We all miss you and Jake." With that, Quil galloped off, whinnying as Claire squealed in glee.

Emily chuckled, watching them go. "Well, that officially takes me out of the equation of Claire's day. Hey, wanna come back to mine? I'll cook you your favorite meal and we can watch a slasher movie, or see what new horror film is out in theaters and go see it."

"Yes, all of the above. Anything to distract me from my life right now." I ran a hand through my hair, noting the dull throb of my ribs. It wasn't as bad as I'd expected it to be for missing my afternoon dose of meds.

We gathered up everything from the picnic and I rode with Emily back to hers. Hanging out with her was always fun, but it was even more fun than usual that day. She would remember things she'd done while we were still in a rut with our relationship and get all excited to tell me. Emily had tried to help Kim learn to make blueberry pancakes since she was sick of having to cook for everyone. It was an experience that she referred to as, "The Blueberry Debacle".

Though I could laugh along and enjoy her stories, most of me was still devoted to thinking about Edward. I didn't know what would happen between us, but I had a tiny glimmer of hope. Regardless of Emily's claim about loving deeply and blah-blah-blah—I didn't care. I didn't want anything beyond friendship with Edward and I wouldn't hurt him by even thinking about more.

Our plan to go to the theatre fell through after she fed me and I got drowsy for the first time all week. Emily was cool about it, though, saying she didn't want to go out anyway. She even drew a bath for me since my midsection was all swollen and irritated.

"I guess Carlisle was right, you're not all the way healed yet," Emily said, frowning at the scar on my chest. Her frown deepened at the sight of my many, many bruises. "He really did a number on you."

"Yep," I agreed as I took off my socks.

"But he also saved you, so I'm forever indebted to him." She watched me sink into the bubbles and I gave her a smile before I closed my eyes. "Would you be pissed if I left the house for a bit? I need to talk to Allison about being a little too hands-on with the wedding planning process. I had to cancel an order for five neon yellow bridesmaid dresses yesterday."

"What? You mean you don't love neon yellow bridesmaid dresses?" I asked in mock shock, making her smile.

"Not really, no," she whispered, bringing her hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose. Her phone started ringing then and she let out a long, guttural groan. "Speak of the devil! I should be so lucky to have someone as mild-tempered as Esme be my mother-in-law, even with the whole cold one detail." She got up from the edge of the tub and went for the door.

I sighed and said, "See ya."

"Yeah. Call if you need me and I've already made up the guest room for you. Stay over as long as you want." With that, she closed the door. And she answered her phone. "Allison, I'm not changing my mind. No…no… What? No!" And then the front door closed. She'd be talking with Sam's mom for a while if I knew either of them at all.

I slumped down, my chin dipping into the hot water she'd filled with bath salts and soothing herbs. Hopeful for better things for the first time in a while, I was able to relax. I slept so hard that I didn't even dream.

When I woke back up, the bubbles were all gone and the water was cool. I climbed out and found that the scar across my chest had vanished. The rest of my bruises were gone, too. As I'd thought, it had been as simple as sleeping so my body could heal. Dr. Cullen was wrong, after all.

Sometimes, it was that simple, Carlisle. I couldn't wait to rub it in his face later back home.

Wait, no, not home. His home—not my home. My home was on Quileute land with Seth and my mom. And now I was sure I needed to visit home. Ideally, before I accidentally called Esme "Mom" or something and things got weird.

I borrowed some of Emily's clothes since we were about the same size and slipped out to run to my mom's. It had gotten colder since I was last out and the sun had started setting. It was well into its last blaze of glory; the golden hour beamed over everything, casting it in gold. I thought of pleasant things and Edward's eyes on my way home.

My stomach quivered when I saw my mom's car was actually parked in the driveway. She wasn't working. I stopped in my place, debating on running before she could see me. I didn't make a decision in time. The front door was thrown open and my Mom stepped out onto the porch, her arms crossed, eyes red with exhaustion. My breath got stuck in my throat. The word "abort" flashed in red behind my eyelids every time I blinked.

"My prodigal daughter's returned," she said, speaking first since I was busy trying not to crap my pants. How could she be more terrifying than raging newborns? "Welcome home."

"Did Sam tell you what happened?" I was hoping he hadn't. Maybe dying would earn me a free pass.

"As a matter of fact, he did. I had to hear from Sam that my only daughter was dying in a cold one's house." Her nostrils flared and I knew she was ready to rip into me as she'd never done before. I couldn't even blame her, I would be the same exact way in her position. "Why? Why wouldn't you come home?"

I straightened my spine, gathering up the courage to say what I wanted. "I didn't think I was welcome home. You were awful to me the last time I saw you—and I didn't have a choice anyway. I couldn't speak." She continued her chilling stare. "I saw Dad when I died."

"What?" She whispered her question, uncrossing her arms.

"I didn't really see him. I heard him. He told me to go home. So, I'm sorry for taking so long."

She ran off the porch and almost tackled me in a hug, squeezing me surprisingly tight for being purely human. I made sure not to hug her back as tightly as I wanted, not willing to risk fracturing one of her ribs.

All was forgiven.

It was always so funny to me how she could be so irate and then still love me as much as she did. I always thought it wasn't a mom-thing, like how having eyes in the back of your head was, but it wasn't. It was a unique Clearwater trait to be able to hug the person you also wanted to kill.

"I got over being angry the hour I left for work, Leah," she said after a while, her voice thick the way it always was when she was trying not to cry. "I was scared for the rest of the time. I let my fear talk me out of calling because I didn't want to hear they were hurting you. There wouldn't have been anything I could do to stop it. And when I heard what happened to you at the battle, I—" Her voice cut out and she tightened her hold on me. "I was ashamed. Much too ashamed to call."

"Don't ever be ashamed." I pulled back just enough to where I could meet her eyes. She needed to see that I meant what I was about to say. "I admire and respect you the most out of any other woman in the world."

Mom stroked my hair out of my face and then pulled me into another hug. We never hugged. Not even when Sam dumped me. Not even when Dad died. So, this hug meant a hell of a lot more than anything either of us could've said.

"Please, don't wait so long to come to me next time. Ok?"

"Ok."

We went inside and she cooked me more food I gladly ate. I even stole Seth's cookies that Lana had made him and dropped off earlier that day in hopes of seeing him. Of all people, my little brother was getting the reputation of being a lady-killer at school. As for our mom's drama, she was competing for a promotion with a guy who she couldn't stand. It was fun to see her rant and rave about it. It was good to be home.

At some point, I got a niggling feeling like I was supposed to be doing something. Actually, it felt like I'd forgotten to do something. Since I couldn't figure out what it was, I figured it wasn't important. I brushed off the feeling to listen to my mom explain how she was going to crush her competitor for the promotion.

Had I mentioned that it was good to be home?

"Sleep here tonight," Mom said sometime after sunset. She'd caught me staring out the window, debating how much longer I should stay.

I was about to reject her offer until I realized I didn't have a reason to. I wasn't sure why I'd had the impulse to say no at all. Why wouldn't I stay home for one night?

"Leah Clearwater! You owe me a fight!"

Oh, that was right. The pack. More specifically, Paul Lahote. Paul Lahote was the reason.

Mom looked miffed by Paul's shouted taunts and ready to say something, but I waved her off. I could handle Paul all by myself. So, I stepped outside, letting the screen door swing shut behind me as I stood on the compact porch. I crossed my arms tight of my chest, keeping my stance just in case he decided to do something crazy. He got bolder when it was dark and it was that colorful time right between day and night.

What was it called again? Whatever, it didn't matter.

"I don't owe you anything, idiot. And speaking of idiocy, I heard you were giving Seth a hard time from Quil."

Paul stood tall in his grey shorts. They were his special winner shorts. He'd worn them one time before taking Sam off guard and getting him on the ground. "So what if I was teasing your dorky brother, traitor? What are you gonna do about it?"

"I'm gonna beat you senseless." A tremor ran through me, harsher than I remembered after a little more than a week of not feeling it. "Twice, since Jake isn't here to do it himself and I'm feeling a sense of camaraderie today."

Paul threw off his shirt and my mom sighed, coming outside instead of watching from the window. She walked off the porch with me but stepped way over to the side to observe the fight. She knew the only person who could actually stop us was Sam and even he probably couldn't at this point.

Paul really had it coming to him this time.

Another tremor rocked me, heating me up to the point to where steam was rising off of me in the cold air. My breath came out in puffs of pure white. Paul started growling, the sound low and reverberating in my chest as he blurred he was quaking so hard.

"You sure you wanna do this, Clearwater?" He asked, his voice deeper from all his growling. "Won't your little owies slow you down?"

"Keep talkin', Lahote. It just pisses me off more."

A moment passed and then we broke into a sprint, charging for each other. The wind whizzed past my ears and I let out a roar that came from deep within my chest. Paul's growling made my ears ring. His eyes were rabid, hungry, but I was starving for a fight. He raised a fist and I got ready to throw up a knee into his side when he swung, leaving himself vulnerable. But something stopped us from colliding.

A flash of white.


A/N: Hm, I wonder what the flash of white is. Who knows? Anyway, Leah's going through a lot of changes, not all of them great. It's a real transitional period for everyone. Perhaps next chapter will show even more change.

As always, thank you so, so much for the comments! The reception for my last chapter was insane and I am so grateful for the compliments. Posting my writing is harrowing for me, especially since I'm so shy, so I'm really, honestly thankful for each and every comment. Sorry for any mistakes! Thank you for the favorites and the follows. Thank you for the support!