Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am only putting my spin on Stephenie Meyer's already created world of the supernatural.
Warnings: Violence/Gore, mentions/attempt of suicide and character deaths
"Before you get really mad—"
"We're far beyond that point." His voice was back to being calm, measured, but not soft.
"I can explain."
He pulled his hand away like I'd try to snatch the vials back from him. "Please, do. Explain. Explain why you were injecting my venom into your veins. Explain why you willingly and slowly killed every cell in your body. You could have died—although that never seems to stop you. I'm struggling to think of anything which would discourage you once you've made up your mind. Death, itself, only serves to provoke you." He spoke so fast that I almost couldn't understand.
"I didn't take those as a suicide attempt, but I'm not surprised you'd think so." He still hadn't let go of the newborn battle, for God's sake.
"Truly? This wasn't about how badly you wish to escape me? Loving me isn't so bitter a pill that you preferred death?" I turned my whole body towards him, pain lancing through me like he'd gutted me right then and there.
"How could you say that to me when you're the one who's been fighting the bond the whole time?" A tremor ran through me that was so rough it shook the couch. "I wanted to imprint. I want you."
"Then, why would you do something like this, Leah?"
I had to take a deep, calming breath before I could respond. "I got scared. I didn't want to risk Aro—"
"Rosalie. Again? Shall I glue her lips together this time?" A bit of relief came when he directed his anger at someone else. "This is not over. Rosalie will be dealt with later. As will Alice."
"What're you gonna do? Guilt trip them to death? Tell them they fall short of the ultimate goddess, Bella Swan?"
His eyes lit up like twin flames. "That was way out of line." He stood up, walking out of the house. I threw off the blanket, almost tripping over it as I followed him out.
He held the door open for me as I stormed outside ahead of him and I jabbed a finger into his chest once we were on the porch. "I'm out of line? You had no business clawing around in my underwear!"
"Believe me, it wasn't exactly a dream come true for me, either," he fired back. "I knew what I smelled and I couldn't let you keep them."
"I just forgot about them, Edward. I was gonna throw them out."
He scoffed. "Sure you were."
"Sorry that I have an actual life that keeps me busy, unlike you. People don't just sit around, listening to 'underrated' indie rock bands and Mozart while reciting sonnets about a freaking rock!" I would never forget that stupid poem he'd read to me.
"Pasilo was ahead of his time. Those with good taste find it rather ironic that modern poetry was shaped by a poem about sculpting. And I knew you didn't like it!"
"Leah?" Seth called from his room, his voice deeper with sleep. He sounded just like Dad.
I shifted into my calm voice as I said, "Go back to sleep, bud. I'll turn down the TV."
"Thanks," he mumbled, laying back down in his bed. Edward and I stayed frozen, so close our chests would graze when both of us breathed. Once Seth's snores started, I stomped down the steps of the porch to get to the awaiting silver car.
He dared to open the car door for me. "Oh, thank you for being chivalrous after rifling through my underwear!"
He slammed the door shut as I moved to get inside. "Open your own door, then."
"Really? Are you sure you're not over a hundred and, in fact, four?"
"Interesting question. It even reminded me of something! I've been meaning to tell you for ages now that I've met two-year-olds with better sensibility than you."
"Nice form, but I'll have to take points off for a lack of authenticity. You hate derivative work, after all." He scoffed at my remark, climbing into his trashy car.
He took off once I was inside. Once we'd reached his definition of a safe distance to talk, he slammed on his brake. I moved to put a hand on the glove compartment to brace myself, but his hand came out of nowhere. It hovered a protective inch above my ribcage. I bumped into his self-made barrier, leaning into it until the g-force let up.
It was a relief when I could finally get out of his car. It smelled awful. "Now you're truly being childish," he accused as I was climbing out of my side of his trashy vehicle.
He got out of his side, too, watching me as I shouted, "Childish is being a century old and still choosing to date a teenager!" He clenched his jaw in reaction to my egging him on, but said nothing. "And I'm mature enough to admit that I regret taking the therapies! I was under a lot of stress and every other hour, I was in a depressive episode, so I made a bad judgment call! And I'm sorry to my mom, to Seth, to Sam, the pack, Emily, Old Quil, Billy, Charlie, my cousins, my coworkers, anyone but you!"
"Anyone but me," he repeated, listening to all my thoughts about him. "And why would you be sorry to me? I was only worried sick over you—terrified that my venom was the thing that might have killed you. In Alice's mind, I saw myself kneeling over your grave and I almost lost it. I had to come here, personally, to see to it that you survived but, alas, my feelings are of the least importance!"
I geared up to insult him, but then I heard what he'd said. His expression had cut out all its anger, leaving behind the fear that always seemed to fuel his fury. I began to imagine how it might've felt for him to discover the vials. The disappointment was so easy to picture, the hurt was a delayed image.
He'd greeted me not with an accusation, but a question. Not as judgmental as I'd assumed. More disbelieving, scared, helpless, in retrospect.
"Ok, let's stop fighting. I'm sorry."
"It's not that easy!" He exclaimed. "You breached my trust, Leah. You went behind my back—you could have died! You came so close!" He covered his eyes with a hand, turning his back to me. "I would have come back and you would have been gone. And I would have had to live forever without ever seeing you again."
The car became a barrier between us, one that was unnecessary and unwanted. I ran over, throwing my arms around him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I won't ever do it again, I promise."
"You should have called me. You should have done anything except for what you did." His words were still harsh, but his voice was honey again.
"I wanted to call." I remembered being by his bed, considering contacting him. I recalled how I convinced myself I shouldn't.
His long, hard arms wrapped me up in a cool embrace. "You should have. Of course, you should have. I wanted to hear from you," he murmured, the words creating a warm blanket over my heart. "I would have answered and this could've been completely avoided. We would have spoken until you believed me when I said the Volturi weren't a threat. They can never force you to stay with them."
I leaned back to meet his eyes, having to reign in the dizzy delight of his face being so close to mine. "Why not? I'm one shapeshifter, what's stopping them?"
"Because you don't belong to them," he spat, his eyes giving a dangerous flash. "You're now a member of my family's coven. That should be sacred enough to them."
Wait, what? "Since when am I part of your coven?"
"Since now. So long as you remain a member, they can't force you into anything. You'll have rights in my world. The most they may do is invite you to join them, but, Leah, they aren't even aware of you. I didn't know about your phasing the last time I met with Aro. You're completely under their radar." He unwrapped one of his arms from me so he could brush my bangs out of my eyes. "You're safe, so stop putting yourself in unnecessary danger—lest you plan to have me lose my mind before the year is out."
I believed him. How could I doubt a single word that he said? He was good and honest. I was the liar. "You have no idea how much I regret what I did."
"I have a vague idea," he whispered, giving my forehead a gentle tap with his finger.
I placed my hand over his chest, the pulse of my fingers beating for his heart. "Then you know I won't ever do something like this again now. You know I'm not lying. I swear to God, Edward."
He clenched his jaw, his free hand coming to rest on the nape of my neck. "I know you mean it now. I need you to mean it later. You have to mean it all the time. This must never happen again. Do you understand?"
"I understand and it won't. I swear." I held eye contact for as long as I could manage before I needed to blink again. When I opened my eyes again, he was calmer, able to breathe instead of the shallow pants he'd been taking just so he could speak. "Are you ok?"
"Only if you are." His hand slid up from my neck, pressing to my cheek. "Are you?"
"I'm so much better now," I whispered, leaning into the chill of his touch.
We stayed like that, frozen in time together until he decided to come alive again. "Are you moving somewhere or are the boxes in your house there for odd decor?"
I snorted, rolling my eyes. "No. It's a long story, but basically no." Now that I thought about it, he'd missed a hell of a lot in my life. "Let me catch you up. Pay attention because I'm gonna go fast."
"As is your typical desire." Around thirty seconds later, he said, "I'm not sure I understand something."
"Ooh, the big vampire brain is confused? What did it?"
He scowled and let me go, pulling away. I missed him the second he was more than two inches away. "This Peter Alarie—he's not related to you?" He asked, taking a step back toward me.
"No. Collin suspects he is, but we're all sure he's not."
"He uses the term 'us' a lot. Peter also seems to be trying to ingratiate himself to you by any means possible." He put on his trademark worried face. "I don't like it."
"That he's sucking up to me?"
"Yes. He's far too fixated on you." Judging by his expression, I'd say he wanted something. "I would like an introduction."
"Now? Before dawn?" I asked, gesturing the blue sky. It was getting bluer as we spoke.
"Sometime today. It's the only way to know for sure what he wants." He smiled then but it was different. Mischievous. "I know I needn't worry about him launching any sneak attacks since you can take spectacular care of yourself in battle."
"Yeah, I could crush him like he's a can of soda."
Edward chuckled, alerting me of how much I'd missed the special sound. "Think about never being able to hear it again the next time you put your life in danger." He picked up my hand from my side, showing me there was still a little dirt wedged underneath a fingernail. "I hope it will make you more careful."
"I shouldn't need that to care about what happens to my life." Emboldened by his touch, I could get my next sentence out. "And I shouldn't have left so soon. I should've waited until the last possible day."
I waited for a wince or the infamous grimace. Nothing came. Nothing except for, "Can we agree to not fight like this again?"
I was happy to confirm, "We can." I removed myself from him, taking sobering steps away.
The smell of morning dew reached my nose since I wasn't so close to Edward anymore. Trees came back into my vision, I could only notice them reflected in his eyes before. The more distance I put between us, the more I remembered why I did leave him. Why I hadn't come back.
Nothing had changed. Not for him. "Now that you've seen how I survived—again—I should get home. I have things to do, I'm a busy woman."
"That you are. Stay with me anyway." The words were so inviting, so tempting. "Besides, if we part now, I'll only spend the rest of the day thinking of you, worrying until I end up coming back."
"You do keep coming back, don't you? This is the second time. Third time'll make it a pattern."
"We wouldn't want that." He started for his side of the car, not even glancing back to see if I was going to get in. It was a no-brainer.
I climbed back into my side where I left my door open. I got so close to closing it before it slammed shut, a tiny gust of wind blowing my bangs into my face.
"Fast, but I'm still faster in my wolf form," I said.
"You wish," he replied. "Put on your seatbelt."
He drove us to an empty parking lot and turned off the car. He didn't feel like driving for hours and hours, I guessed. Couldn't blame him there.
"Not that I wouldn't enjoy the company on the way," he commented as he was exiting his side of the car.
I was about to spring out into the nearby trees when he keeled over. I ended up running to him instead. "What's wrong?" Had he changed his mind? Was he going to throw up because he was literally sick of me already?
My guesses turned out to be about as far from the mark as I could get. He was leaning down to untie his shoes. When he finished, he lifted one of my legs, slipping on the left one of the pair onto my foot. I watched, my throat thick and warm from the fullness in my chest as he tied his shoes onto my feet.
"That should be tight enough," he murmured before standing. "I know you enjoy running barefoot but I would prefer you to be safer today. Please, keep these on for my sake."
I cleared my throat, putting my hands on my hips. "Uh, sure. Yeah. Whatever." What the hell was with him today? I preferred angry Edward, I could understand him. This new Edward was completely unpredictable. I couldn't see the motivation behind his random acts of kindness.
"The motivation is me caring about you and your wellbeing. Let me know if the shoes are too loose for you to run in. In that case, I'll carry you."
I joked, "They're too loose. I can feel it already." To my surprise, he came toward me. I jumped away, my heart doing an identical jump in my chest. "I'm kidding! Jeez!"
"I know." He shot me a proud grin that made him look younger. He always enjoyed it way too much when he managed to fluster me. "Keep up, if you can." He bolted off then and I had to go into a serious sprint to catch up.
We were at his house in no time at all. The catch was that nobody else was.
"They all were all here when I left," he informed me, equally confused as me as we walked into the empty home. "I'm sure wherever Carlisle is, he won't be long. He has work today." He checked his expensive-looking watch.
"Could he be at the mountain lab?"
Edward shrugged, the act too fluid to be human. "Perhaps. It's best to wait for him."
"You're not gonna go check?"
"I will if he takes too long." He turned around from where he'd wandered to his piano. "Until then, we could talk."
I edged farther into the house, everything white now blue in the early hour of the morning. As much as I wanted to enjoy being around him for what it was, I wanted answers more. "Where'd you go for a week?"
He played a bleak, sad sound on his piano. "To visit familiar faces." Another grim chord. He sat down on his bench, right in the impression in its fine leather. "One of them is still very much in mourning. I wanted to respect that."
"Who died?"
"Have you ever heard of the Raindrop Prelude by Chopin?" A cruel smile twisted at the corners of his lips. "It has an interesting backstory."
"You're changing the subject."
"Chopin was on vacation with his lover and her son. There is much speculation about the events which happened. His lover wrote a novel and in it, she described what she claimed is the true story. When she and her son first walked through the door, Chopin was playing and said, 'I knew well that you were dead'."
"Yikes," I said, piecing together that he'd been playing pieces from that. I'd push him for information on who'd died later. He knew I would. "Why'd he think they were dead?"
Something glinted in his eyes before he blinked it away. "Like you, he was a vivid dreamer. Come, I'll play you the personification of his nightmare."
I walked over, crossing my arms as I got ready to spectate. I was willing to stand beside the bench the whole time, but he took ahold of my elbow and pulled me down to sit beside him. He loosened his tie with his left hand, starting to play a pretty tune with his right. His left hand soon joined in, making the song sound full before it took a sorrowful turn. Watching him play in his black suit made him genuinely seem like he was in mourning. His eyes closed, eyebrows drawing together as deeper notes cried out into the blue.
I was completely transfixed. I watched his face more than his fingers as they effortlessly danced across the keys. It held all the emotion of the song, all the dread. When the end came, the quiet after a storm, I felt like I needed to mourn the piece.
"You have something of mine," he reminded me.
With a bit of hesitation, I reached into my pants' pocket, pulling out the stolen page. He took it from me, unfolding it to examine it. It was clear I'd folded and unfolded it a lot in just the past five days.
"I don't draw as often as I used to. When I was younger, I was a lot more romantic, despite the belief that I, myself, would never fall in love. Esme always hoped that I would, even once I'd lost that hope, myself. Of course, then I met Bella. And then…" he trailed off, gently folding the page back. "With her, I would forget my age, forget the world. With you, it's impossible to forget who I am, what I am. But it's also impossible to be ashamed of it." He offered me the page back.
I couldn't resist taking it back. "You shouldn't be ashamed, so, good."
"You know, it should also be impossible we can even have this discussion. Yet, here we are. You look at me and you don't see a monster you long to tear to shreds for honor, for your father." He lifted a hand, brushing his fingertips along the curve of my cheek, their cold fading against the fever of my skin. "You see a man."
"Not just a man," I corrected him in that soft voice I'd gained since meeting him. "A good man."
His eyes glittered, mesmerizing me. The gold inside of them was the only color too vibrant to get washed out by the blue light. "My goal is to be even half the man you see me as." He took his hand off of my face, positioning it over the keys. "You'll love this one."
Surrounded by his sugared scent and languid music, I watched the sunrise. He played through the end of the blue hour, into dawn when golden light filled the room. He beamed when a ray that shot between the trees hit him. The brilliance of his skin threw rainbows, painting the white of his keys with his loveliness.
I rested my head on his shoulder when his beauty became too much, too distracting for me to hear the music. And the song was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard, next to Edward's laughter. I felt like I was floating while I listened.
I missed the piece after hearing its peaceful ending. "That's my new favorite." It felt disrespectful to use my voice so soon after hearing that masterpiece.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it so much."
I looked up at him, peering at his white face through my eyelashes. "Did you think I'd hate it? Especially with the way you play?"
He was a passionate pianist. Even if he started relatively calm, he'd always end up getting super into whatever he was playing. And he could never play one note. As soon as he pressed a key or tapped out a simple melody, he'd have to sit down and finish the song in his head. It was the most endearing thing I'd ever seen.
"Most would find it annoying rather than endearing," he said with a shimmering smile. "Would you like to hear something else or would you rather eat?"
It was still amazing to me how he could hear tiny, fleeting thoughts I'd forget the second I'd move on. "No offense but I'd rather eat." I was starving. Not sure how I didn't notice that before. "Kitchen's still in the same place right?" I asked as I got up.
He grinned in that crooked, vibrant way. "It hasn't been that long."
"Coulda fooled me."
I stretched, remembering I was in sweatpants and a baggy tee. I called them pre-pajamas and I'd put them on sometime after my talk with Seth yesterday. Then I got busy planning and fell asleep—
"You didn't eat dinner, that's why you're so hungry." He stood up, looking ready to chastise me. "I'll get you a fresh pair of clothes later. For now, let's get you some food." He took me by the hand, leading me to the kitchen like I was a little kid.
Esme's scent was pretty fresh in the kitchen, triggering pleasant memories. Back when Edward was still gone "roaming the earth" after Bella had left, I would sit in the kitchen with Esme. She cooked for me and told me lots of stories, nice ones that ended with hugging or a declaration of love. That was how I got to know her and how I came to like her as Esme and not just Edward's mom.
"You never told me that," Edward said, drawing me away from memory lane.
"I don't tell you everything." I turned around from the fridge that was stocked full of fresh food. Esme had been hoping I'd come back.
I cooked in silence, relaxing as I made a simple omelet. Edward leaned against the counter next to the stove. He was as close to me as he could get.
He was clingy today. "I resent that remark." And sensitive. "Leah." He used a chiding tone but his smile ruined it.
I could get used to the new Edward.
When my thoughts would quiet while I was focused on cooking, Edward would get bored. He would do this adorable thing where he'd sing to himself. It was low and fast, so I imagined humans wouldn't know what he was doing. But I did. My favorite was when he would catch himself singing the song that was stuck in my head.
"That's sadistic," he accused with warmth in his eyes.
"Can't experience pleasure without a little pain," I said, putting my omelet on a plate. "But I'll be merciful today and help you out. Best thing for a song stuck in our heads is to not think about it."
He watched me pick a fork from the silverware drawer. "I'll take your word for it."
"That's what I like to hear," I teased, making him smile. "Ok, if you had to pick one, which would be your favorite high school you ever attended?"
He tilted his head to the side, considering all the lifetimes he'd lived. "If we're keep it within America's borders, I would say here. It's small and no one asks a lot of questions. The worst thing I've had to deal with are the imaginings of teenage girls."
"If you were in my high school, I would've hated you with a white-hot passion. You're against everything my teenage rebel persona stood for." He busted out laughing, causing me to laugh with him. "What about me? If I was around when you were going through high school, what would you have thought?"
"You wouldn't have gone to my school, considering the time."
That was depressing, now that I thought about it. "People were still open racists back when you were a teenager."
"I didn't engage in the mindset. I was often belittled for being too polite to people's 'help'." He pushed off from the counter, coming closer to me. "I don't think I would have minded the talk, however, if that was the price of your company."
"Favorite decade?"
He made a face. "I hate that question. I like and dislike every decade for different reasons."
"I thought for sure you were gonna say this one. You know, because of Bella."
"Oh." He looked taken aback. "Yes, you're right. It's this one."
I replied, "I'd say this one, too. My worst year, though, was my senior year in high school."
"Why?"
"Sam phased. Rachel—one of Jake's sisters—left. Emily became distant. Old Quil became more dismissive of me because I knew that he knew what was going on with Sam. People were up in arms about your family returning. It was a bad year, all around." I still missed Rachel. She'd been my best friend throughout high school.
"I see." A brittle smile curved his full lips. "I do remember the boycotting after Carlisle was hired."
"You think that's bad? There was an all-out celebration when you left after breaking up with Bella. Fires were lit, music played, it was great. Back then, I didn't understand yet. I disliked you because my dad did and I trusted his judgment."
"Hatred is raised, not born," he said, watching me our ketchup on the side of my perfect omelet. "Does it feel strange now, thinking back on your resentment of my kind?"
"I never hated your kind. I hated a different kind." I didn't believe people like Caius were the same as Edward. They were different down to a biological level. "But, yeah, it was weird living in your house for a while."
He crossed his arms over his chest, examining me as he said, "You took to it well. Most everyone accepted you as if you'd always been a part of our family."
"Most?"
"Alice has issues." He gazed off, out of a nearby window. He had the side-profile of Adonis. "That's not to say she doesn't like you. It's just that, at times, she misses Bella more."
Pushing past the warning voice in the back of my mind, I asked, "Is that like you?"
He looked back at me, pinning me with gold. "Eat, before it gets too cold."
That was an order I had no problem following. I ate my delicious omelet, sad every time I finished a bite. Edward smiled at the pang of disappointment I got when I finished it off.
"You can always make more." He was still standing like stone, completely comfortable. I had to get used to the bizarre stillness of vampires again. "I never knew you could cook."
"That's because Esme's good at making sure people never have to take care of themselves. She's like the world's most maternal ninja, cooking pancakes before I can even realize that I'm craving pancakes." Now I wanted pancakes.
He blessed me with a crooked grin, tilting his head to the side. "You know what? I'll make you pancakes. I'll cook until you're done eating."
"Best imprint ever."
After I ate like my stomach was a blackhole in disguise, I helped wash up. He'd cooked everything in his fridge and pantry for me, the least I could do was help clean. He smiled when I held my hand out for the dish towel and handed it to me, careful not to touch me.
He'd overthought something again. "I haven't."
"What is it?" I asked, ignoring his defense of himself.
"I'm not overthinking. In fact, I've not thought enough. Most of today has been pure impulse." He started scrubbing the grease off of a skillet he'd cooked bacon in. "I feel guilty."
I put down my bowl and towel so I could touch his arm. "You don't have to be guilty about anything. You've done nothing wrong."
"Haven't I?" The rhetorical question came off as searching. It seemed like he wanted an answer. "You can't give me one, even so. Since you're the reason for the question, you can't also be the answer."
"Well, let me take a shot at it. What's the question?"
"That's not the point," he said, frustration straining the musicality of his voice. He leaned away from me. "I should feel guilty. I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. How is that sane?"
I hesitated to say, "It isn't."
"But it has to be. It has to make sense, to be sane. It's all I have left, it's all that I can cling to. The leftover rationalities of a life so short-lived." He turned away from me. "I should go get your things."
"Edward, wait." But he didn't listen. He ran out, leaving me confused in his kitchen.
I sat on the couch in the living room, trying to understand what had happened. At least this time he hadn't been mad or spiteful. But who knows? Maybe this would turn out to be worse.
While Edward was gone, a different set of footsteps came. Carlisle's. I didn't turn to look as he came inside. I stayed still on the couch, my head in my hands.
It was minutes before his footsteps came to the couch and he sat beside me. His hand slid between my shoulder blades, giving a soft pat. "It's going to be alright."
"It's not."
"It will be." I peeked up at him.
His blonde hair was slicked back today, glossy under the sun. He hadn't fed in a while, so his eyes were a brownish-gold crowning purple crescents. There wasn't any disapproval inside them. All the anger I'd expected wasn't there. His eyes shone with compassion.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't even be here." I felt ashamed, the discomfort of it pricking at my spine.
"If you believe that to be true, why have you come?"
I wished I had some good, valid reason why I'd uprooted my resolution to stay away from Edward like it'd meant nothing. Like I hadn't cried every day over losing him. "Because he asked me to, I guess." I was so pathetic. I couldn't even blame it on imprinting anymore. Not entirely.
"And why do you think that is?"
"Hell if I know, Carlisle. All I know is I'm supposed to be staying away to make less trouble for everyone. But I did a pretty good amount of damage from a distance. Almost died because of it."
"I can only hope it worked to give you a fresher perspective on things. Then, it won't have all been for nothing."
"There's one very important moral I learned. A.L.C. Always listen to Carlisle."
He smiled, stroking a cold hand over my hair. "I hope that's not all. What else did you learn? What can you take away from this experience?"
"I guess I learned I'm not a quitter. I can't give up. I have to keep fighting, keep getting up even when the whole world is pushing my face into the dirt. I'll make my own luck, I'll fight all my battles. I'll keep going because as long as I do, I still have a future ahead of me."
"It saddens me to think you believed you had no future."
"Well, I knew I had a future. It just wasn't one I wanted to live through."
"One without Edward?" He guessed with a sympathetic smile.
"One where Caius and Aro found out about me."
Carlisle nodded, turning stoic in an instant. My heart started fluttering in my throat. I needed to hear what he had to say about it. He was the only one out of all the Cullens who had been a cog in the killing machine that was the Volturi coven.
"I didn't tell you about him because I intend to make sure he never knows about you. Esme was right, as always, and I should have told you from the beginning. So, I suppose we both have tacked on another regret." He clasped his hands together, supporting his weight by bracing his forearms on his legs. "One thing you should know is that Aro adores the exceptional. He would never allow Caius' hatred get in the way of that passion."
"So, the real danger is Aro wanting to keep me."
"Not necessarily. I've suggested to Edward that we claim you as our own—"
"He already said I was a part of your coven now."
His eyebrows inched up his forehead. "Did he? I wasn't aware."
"It happened this morning, so it's a recent thing."
"I see." He paused before continuing, "Then, we really should build you your own room."
I laughed, some of the tension draining out of my shoulders. "Thank you, but I'm still leaving after today."
He put his hand on my back again. "Tell me how you've been faring this morning, Leah. You mentioned almost dying."
"Yeah, that wore me out a little. I slept a lot yesterday. I'm right as rain now, though. And, according to Alice, venom resistant. So, that's a cool perk."
"We'll have to test that to be sure."
I sighed, knowing that'd eat up the rest of my day. "It's a good thing I had a big breakfast after Edward played for me."
"Oh, he played?"
"The raindrop prelude and one that went like this." I hummed the part of the melody that I could remember.
"Ah, that's 'Bénédiction de Dieu dans la solitude'. It means God's blessing in solitude and it's one of Liszt's pieces. You know his etudes and preludes often end in fireworks, one big last finale? Bénédiction de Dieu dans la solitude is one of the few that ends gently and it's known to be one of his best pieces. Edward has been wanting to share that with you for a while now."
I smiled, no choice not to. "Yeah, he's thoughtful that way. He knows I like Liszt's pieces."
"He cares, more than you know."
"Even if he does, it'll all end when Bella gets back. I'm just trying to give him today." This time, it'd be a proper goodbye. I'd say how I feel and we'd both leave with closure. As much as we could get with the bond still attached anyway.
"Is that what you want? You want him to work everything out with Bella and to leave again?"
I didn't want to lie, but the truth was too complicated. "What it comes down to for me is Edward's happiness. I would do anything to make Edward happy. That was why I left before. And it's why I'll leave again. Does that clear things up?"
Carlisle didn't answer. He pulled out his wallet and started shelling out hundred dollar bills. I watched silently, unable think up any comments as he took twelve hundred dollars out of his pocket.
When he held them out to me, I had to ask him, "Why is this happening right now?" And since I'd asked, I took the money and stuffed it in a pocket because, well, who wouldn't?
"Alice told me to leave a message with you, as well as this money." Money that looked like chump change for the Cullens. Would I ever really know how rich they were? "Her message was, 'you've chosen your path'."
The conversation from the cafe came flying back to me. My heart sank. I wouldn't need money if I was with Edward. "Is that the entire message?"
"Yes." Carlisle smiled, his eyes turning it apologetic. "I wish I had more for you. She won't even tell me what this is all about."
"It's ok. I understand, I was just hoping—" I shut up, taking a deep breath to get rid of the impulse to spill everything. Carlisle was too easy to talk to for his own good. "So, should we start testing now?"
He gave an apologetic smile. "I have to be getting to work for now, that's why I gave you the money. Esme's beat me to the punch today, but we'll both return near dinnertime. I hope you'll be ok until then."
"Gotcha." I had work, too. Work that I was ditching to spend borrowed time with Edward.
I was gonna get fired, wasn't I?
"I'll be fine. Have a good day, Dr. Cullen," I said.
"It's already a good day. You're here and you're unharmed." He got up, running up to his room. I heard him change for a couple of seconds before he came down in tan slacks and a blue button-down. "May I ask you something before I leave?"
Why was he asking for my permission? I was in his house, on his couch. "Yeah, anything."
"When was the last time you asked Edward what he wants?"
The first time my brain processed his sentence, it seemed harmless enough. The second time, I registered the disapproval. The third time, I grasped the meaning. He thinks Edward might've changed his mind.
"You have a good day, too, Leah." And then he left. He just left like he didn't bring up a million questions in my head. I had so many questions, so many things to say—
Crap, I hadn't told him about the other night with the phasing and the burning. I could tell him later today, but what the hell was I supposed to do when Edward came back?
Ask him what he wanted, I guessed.
I tooled around Edward's room and all its familiar things while I waited for him to come back. The picture of Bella was gone. I found it face-down in a drawer. His CD arrangement had changed, more Liszt showing up in his collection than before. I put on the track for Un Sospiro, humming to it as I laid in bed, relaxing. It would probably be the last time I ever got the chance to do it.
Unless Edward had changed his mind.
It felt like so many things had changed. Even when Edward and I were at our best before I moved out, it was never this good between us. His tiny freakout earlier felt nuclear to me even though it was tame compared to before. It had felt so big because today was so exceptionally wonderful. So peaceful, and fun, and just everything I'd been dreaming of since I'd imprinted on him. And that was because of Edward. He'd changed.
But it didn't matter now, did it? Carlisle didn't hand me so much cash as a congratulations gift for winning Edward over. It was to help me in getting to wherever Bella and Jacob were. It couldn't possibly have been for anything else.
Screw it then. I'd just enjoy whatever I could get today with no regrets. This was my last day with Edward. I wouldn't waste it.
By the time I heard Edward running back, I was excited for the rest of the day. As I ran downstairs to meet him, it occurred to me that I was acting like a literal dog that couldn't wait to greet its owner. Any sense of wounded pride I felt vanished when he opened the door and revealed his ear-to-ear grin.
"Welcome home," I said, grinning back at him. "I'm gonna take a wild guess that you're feeling better."
"I am. I drove Seth to his program." He handed me my bag of stuff after I pranced over to him. "We arrived late, so I didn't get to meet Peter. His thoughts had a reverb I've never experienced before, but all he thought of were his students. It's unfortunate."
Wait, he drove Seth from La Push to Seattle? I looked at the nearby grandfather clock, my heart skipping a beat. "Just how fast were you speeding?"
"Not at all. I know shortcuts." I set a glare on him. He had a sheepish smile as he murmured, "There was slight speeding. All safe, I promise."
"Safe speeding, never heard of it." He gave a tiny guilty grin before I peeked inside of my bag. No underwear, thank God.
"Will you ever let that go?"
I cackled under my breath, digging around the wedding planning stuff he'd brought. "Someday. Not today." Something soft brushed my fingers and sparked my curiosity. I pulled it out, gasping when I saw what he'd packed me.
"I had to ask Seth if it was his. He assured me this was your bunny," Edward said as I stared into Flopsers' button eyes. I saw him grinning in my peripheral—he'd moved there just so I could see it.
"He's lying. It's Seth's. That's who's it is." His grin broadened. I hugged Flopsers to my chest, smoothing down his ears. "Ok, so it's mine. So what? What're you gonna say about it?"
"Nothing." He let out a pretty chuckle. "I don't have to."
I turned on my heel, marching up to his room to change. "I hate you." His laughter chased me upstairs even as he went for the living room.
I put down my bag and closed his door behind myself, locking it in my anger. Since he was already tinkling away at his piano, I changed without worrying about him seeing too much. When I was done, I put everything in my bag, patting my bunny before putting him away.
Edward laughed at that. "I never knew you had this side to you."
"What side?" I asked as I was jumping over the stairs. I was too impatient to walk down them.
"I'm not sure what to call it, but it's my new favorite," he finished with some thought, a sweet smile on his face. "He's the only one you kept growing up?" I stopped at the couch, not walking the full way over to him.
I had to think about my answer. "People would buy me a bunch of different dolls and things, but yeah. He's the only one I kept."
"Why?"
"In the words of my six-year-old self, 'he's too dapper to give away'. I also liked his feet."
He glanced back at me, still grinning. "They're very fluffy."
"The fluffiest." I strolled over to him, my hands clasped behind my back. "Teach me something?"
He patted the spot next to him on the bench. "Absolutely."
Satisfied with his easy agreement, I plopped down next to him. He guided my hands up to the keys, adjusting my fingers before pressing down with his hands over mine. "That's a chord."
"Fancy."
He laughed, the sound filling the house. "It's simple, actually. The next one is going to be an even simpler chord."
I had to focus on where he was placing my fingers. All these dumb, little keys looked the same. Edward chuckled at the thought.
After I got comfortable with the two chords, he started to play a melody on the right side of the piano. I plucked away at the few keys I knew were safe, proud of myself. Too proud, probably.
"Be proud, you're doing great," he murmured way too close to my ear. My fingers slipped and made a loud, ringing mistake that harmonized with Edward's laughter. "Mistakes are necessary."
"Well, that one was your fault," I said with an offended sniff. "You're too distracting."
"I have to speak to be able to teach you," he reasoned.
I crossed my arms, shaking my head. "Nope. If I'm gonna learn anything, you'll have to put a bag over your head and speak different."
"Different how?" He asked.
"Like this," I said in the gruffest voice I could manage. Laughter bubbled out of him, loud, and gorgeous. "Also, it's a good thing that I'm not amazing at piano." I pushed my whole hand down, the keys making a loud, jumbled sound. "It makes me the perfect piano partner for you."
"Piano partner?" He asked through his laughter
"Uh-huh. Because if I wasn't your piano partner, your playing would be too perfect. Everyone would just immediately suspect that you're a vampire and then they'd know that I'm a wolf because I'm so woodsy."
He hadn't stopped grinning since he'd made me make my mistake. "What's the solution to our predicament?"
"Well, the obvious solution, Edward, is to be piano partners and balance each other out." I put both of my feet down on the pedals and pressed keys wherever I saw fit, even including the smaller, black keys. Through all the chaos and noise, I heard his laughter.
He slid an arm around me. I didn't even think he noticed he did it, touching me had become second-nature to him. "Fantastic idea. I'm glad I'm the one who invited such a brilliant mind into the coven."
"You should be honored."
"Oh, I most certainly am," he said, eyes alight. "Let's play, partner."
I was about to assume my position for my two chords when the worst thing in history happened. My phone rang.
I clogged my brain full of Liszt melodies as I leaped off the bench for my phone. Edward stared at me like I'd grown two heads as I dug through my bag for the pesky thing.
"Be back in a sec," I said, deciding to take the whole bag since I couldn't find my phone in my blind search. "Don't follow me."
"Ok," he whispered, clearly thrown by the change in my mood.
I wanted to apologize, but I couldn't afford to think around him. I booked it out of the house, sprinting away. My phone kept ringing and ringing. I didn't pick it up until I was at the landmark Rosalie had left tied around a tree when she wanted Edward out of her head.
Finding the phone was a lot easier when I could look without having to worry about thought-management. "Where the hell have you been?" I growled as soon as I took her second call.
"I found Bella and the mutt."
Numbness took ahold of me. I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. How could it all be over so fast?
"Hellooo? Is there still a puppy on this phone?"
I could have hung up. I could have pretended I hadn't ever gotten the call and spent my last day with Edward as I'd wanted. "How's Bella? Is she ok?"
"No, she's not ok. She's insane. Everything's insane here, it's unbelievable. We have plenty more than the one huge problem we'd expected for me to find. Can you send your alpha out to us?"
"I can try to get in touch with him, but I doubt he'll answer. He's out of town." The money was in my bag, still inside my sweatpants' pocket. "I'll come. Should I bring anyone with me?" I was assuming she'd say I should bring Edward.
"No. It would incite anger in the family if they knew what was happening." Ok, didn't see that coming. "I would tell you why but the mongrel can hear me. I can't leave them alone, though, because they'll run. The only time I can get away is when they're sleeping and they're not currently."
At least there would be one good thing to come out of this. Jacob had gotten the beatdown of a lifetime before he left. I wouldn't have been surprised if he was a little more humble when I saw him.
"Where am I flying out to?"
"Helsinki, Finland. I'll meet you at the international airport, even if I have to bring them with me. Hurry up. I don't want it to get any worse here." She hung up.
If Rosalie was sure bringing anyone with me was a bad idea, I trusted her. She'd only ever told me the truth, even when it was hard to swallow. And we could get through whatever it was together, I didn't doubt that. The real question was: At what price?
Was there any price I wouldn't pay to make sure Edward got to be happy? To make sure that Billy didn't have to lose his son on top of losing his wife and his best friend? To protect a human girl who's only eighteen from cold ones who'd happily harm her?
My happiness wasn't enough to stand in the way of all that.
I started running, not bothering phasing since I could sprint home fast enough for my liking. I'd never been to Europe, I wasn't sure what to expect from it. It wasn't like I could ask my mom either because then she'd know what I was doing and she'd also never been out of America.
To boldly go where no Clearwater has ever gone. This wasn't how I imagined I'd travel the world. It seemed ridiculous now that I'd ever fantasized about Edward being with me when I did.
When I got home, Embry and Jared were there, ready to intercept me on my porch. That made it easier for me to tell them I was leaving.
"Leah, you have to tell us what the hell is going on," Jared demanded, tailing me as I went inside.
"We smelled weird stuff in the woods. It was this goo that smelled a little like you and we found your blood."
Great. A lot of things weren't able to wait for one freaking day.
"We're sick of you not being around! What if the vampire had come back?"
"We were so worried about you, Leah. You have to tell us what's going on."
"Yeah, tell us what's going on or we'll call—"
"Ok already!" I yelled, turning around once I was in my room. The two of them almost crashed into me. "I had a bad reaction to the therapies and survived it. I'm now at least a little resistant to vampire venom. I was at the Cullens' house because I was spending time with Edward because he was worried about me. I'm leaving now since I found out where Jake and Bella are. I'm not telling you where because I don't want Edward to know. You two are in charge until Sam gets back tomorrow but keep calling him to see if he can come back any sooner."
"You found Jake?" Embry was a talented selective-listener. "Is he ok?"
"I don't know yet." I darted around my room, throwing everything I could think of into my suitcase. "I'll be back soon. If I don't come back and only Rose, Jake and Bella do, write me off as a loss."
My instruction did something to Jared's mind. "No. No, Leah. I won't let this happen. If Sam were here, he wouldn't either. You can't just go and leave us to potentially die out there. It's one thing keeping your secrets, it's another thing letting them kill you! I won't have it!"
"I'm going." I closed my suitcase before turning to face the two. I straightened up, using my full height as I stalked toward Jared. He was only two or so inches taller than me. "Even if I have to go through you to do it." I stopped just in front of him, invading his space.
He gritted his teeth, looking away as he flexed his hands. "Fine."
"Good." I eased back. I didn't want to use intimidation tactics, but I also didn't have the time to talk him through it.
The two were silent as I wrote a note for my mom and Seth and then raced back downstairs. They even helped me put my suitcase in the trunk of my can so I could hop into the driver's seat faster.
Jared came up to the window as I started my engine and I rolled it down. "Sam's gonna be pissed."
"Not if you do a good job while I'm awol. I'm counting on you. I'm counting on the both of you." I looked at Embry who was standing off to the side, including him in the conversation. "I can't think of two people more capable of watching over the pack while the three of us aren't here to help."
Jared's frame relaxed a bit. "Damn straight."
"Hold down the fort as well as I know you guys can. Any slacking will be punished harsher than I'll be when I get back."
I was about to drive away when Jared asked, "Does this mean I'm alpha for the day?"
"Sure. You're acting alpha. Embry's acting second-in-command." My leg bounced with pent-up anxiety as I spoke too slow for my liking. "Hey, and don't let Paul be the person who cooks while Emily and I are gone. The only time I've ever gotten a stomach ache since phasing is from his cooking."
"Done and done," Jared said and stepped away from my van. I peeled out as fast as it would allow.
On my way to the airport, I tried to think of exactly what I was going to say to convince Bella to come back. Edward had said he didn't want me to threaten her, so that left me with trying to persuade her, and I wasn't exactly a poet.
My phone sang and I picked it up fast. "If you keep calling, I'll get there a lot slower."
"I was only wondering what was taking so long," Edward's voice answered.
I almost swerved off the road. I rolled down my window to flip-off the three different cars that honked at me after I'd recovered. "I didn't know it was you." I thought I'd set a different ringtone for Edward when Rosalie insisted I give it to her contact instead.
"If you didn't know it was me, then you're going somewhere else. You're not coming back."
"It'd be weird if I didn't come back. I kinda live here." He was quiet, only the loud hum of my car to listen to. The time for joking and smiling had come and gone. "Look, I'm not into anything dangerous. I promise." I doubted he'd believe me but it was worth saying.
He didn't acknowledge anything I'd said. "Where are you going, Leah?" He asked in a way that made me sure he already knew.
"To see familiar faces. Be back soon." I hung up on him, giving him the Rosalie treatment.
I made my turn into the airport lane for short-term parking. I got my ticket for my two weeks I could leave my car and parked in the first empty spot. Throughout that process, my phone never stopped ringing.
There was no way he could catch me in time. Everywhere around the airport was too populated for him to be able to make use of his speed. I was free to go.
Before I knew it, I was inside the airport with my suitcase, buying a round-way ticket for Finland.
"Here is your boarding pass. You're booked for a round trip to Helsinki back here to Seattle. Your flight's in about an hour at gate D7 and you'll have a layover in London. Your connecting flight there will take you to Finland. You have plenty of time to get to that connecting flight in London, even if this flight arrives there late. Coming back, though, you'll have two different layovers. First, you'll stop at Portugal and don't be concerned if your flight is delayed by a half an hour because you'll still have another wide window to get to your connecting flight which'll lead into your layover in New Jersey. Followin' me so far, hon?"
Holy crap. "Yes."
"Alright, the rest is easy. You get on your connection flight in New Jersey'll take you straight back here to Seattle. You're booked for economy all the way through and you'll only be in the big international airports which are all kinda the same. Very easy to navigate. Memorize your gates while on your flights and you can go get your luggage checked now." The kind woman handed me my passes, done pointing to all the numbers and abbreviated words to help me out. "Next!"
I rolled my suitcase over to have it checked and prepared myself for the level of jet-lag I was going to suffer. The TSA line was easy since I only had my phone on me. I slipped right through, grabbed my shoes, and went to wait at my gate.
After several minutes of nosy strangers staring at me, I had to turn off my incessantly ringing phone. A woman's voice announced a few seconds later that the plane was ready to board passengers. People started lining up, passes out, and carryons in hand. I took my place at the end of the line.
This was the right thing to do. And not only that, this was what Edward wanted. Win-win situation.
A/N: Here it is a little earlier than normal. I hope I delivered alright on the fluff and that you're excited to see what Jacob and Bella have been up to! Next chapter is gonna be a lot for all of you to process lol. Prepare yourselves!
Thank you for all the reviews, they're the only reason I was able to finish writing this chapter. Seriously. I really want to thank you all for the support you've shown through follows and favorites, too. I don't deserve it, but I'm grateful! I'm sorry for any grammar issues and I hope you enjoyed.
