Lincoln is eating cereal while watching a commercial for a new one.
"Are you bored of the same old breakfast?" asked the announcer.
"Yes..." Lincoln mumbled, looking down at his cereal.
"Then try Zombie Bran!" suggested the announcer. "The cereal that turns you into the walking fed!"
A box of Zombie Bran appears on-screen, and the kids in the commercial have turned into zombies after eating it.
"Braaaaan!" moaned a Zombie Girl in a zombie's voice.
"Braaaaan!" moaned a Zombie Boy in a zombie's voice. "BRAAAAAN!"
"Must...have...Zombie Bran!" Lincoln shouted, filled with desire.
J.D. slides down and has someone with him. "Hey Lincoln, I would like you to meet someone. This is my friend Vince. He's new to the neighborhood, and I'm showing him the ropes."
"It's nice to meet you, Lincoln," Vince said. "I've heard a lot about you and your family. My name is Vince Pusateri. I moved here from Missouri."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Vince," Lincoln replied.
"Vince has the same likes as your sisters, and we have so much in common," J.D. explained. "Also, show him what you can do."
"Sure." Vince placed his hand on the floor, blood red Ruby Crystal Clusters grew out of it and created a beautiful crystal formation.
"Vince, that's amazing!" Lincoln cried.
"Vince has crystal powers," J.D. explained. "He can grow any type of mineral crystal with his thoughts or touch. He can grow them on any surface or in the air."
"That's incredible!" remarked Lincoln.
"So what's been going on, Lincoln?" J.D. inquired.
"I just saw this commercial for a new cereal called "Zombie Bran," Lincoln explained. "And it turns you into the Walking Fed!"
"It sounds tasty," J.D. replied, "and you should ask Ms. Rita to get some."
"Yep," Lincoln said. "Let me introduce you to my mom and dad, Vince."
"Okay," Vince replied.
Rita is using a plunger to unclog the sink in the kitchen.
"What on Earth is down here?" Rita wondered.
"Mom, I'd like you to meet Vince," Lincoln offered. "He just moved here."
Rita greeted Vince and said, "It's nice to meet you. I am Rita. Welcome to the neighborhood."
Vince and Rita shake hands. "Thank you, Mrs. Loud. You sure are very pretty."
Rita blushed and said, "Oh, thank you. You can call me Ms. Rita."
"Okay," Vince replied.
"Vince has crystal powers," J.D. explained.
"Yep. Watch." Vince extended his hand and a beautiful trillion-cut Tanzanite gemstone the size of his palm appeared, complete with a blue necklace chain.
"This is for you," Vince said as he handed her the necklace.
"This is beautiful!" cried Rita. "Tanzanite is one of my favorite gems."
"He has incredible power," J.D. added. "I believe he was exposed to cosmetic radiation like I was."
"That's right, J.D.," Vince replied. "I got my powers because of that."
"I was born 7 years after him, but that is truly amazing," J.D. noted.
"That's interesting," Rita commented. "Vince, how did you know that Tanzanite is one of my favorite gems?"
"I have a special ability called Aura Sight," Vince explained. "It allows me to understand what others like and feel through their spiritual aura."
"I've heard about that kind of power, and it's a really powerful metaphysical ability," J.D. added.
"That's fascinating," Rita responded.
"That's so cool," Lincoln exclaimed. "Can we please get Zombie Bran cereal?" he pleaded, "Please please please please please?"
"I'm sorry, sweetie," Rita apologized. "We have a very tight budget, and by the time I get everything on my grocery list, there's no money left over for treats."
The grocery list appears to be rather long.
"Wow, that's a long grocery list," J.D. noted.
"Hmm..." mused Lincoln, and then he had an idea. "What if I could get everything on here and still have enough money leftover for Zombie Bran?"
"That's a fantastic idea, Lincoln," Vince responded.
"I agree," J.D. added.
"You want to do the shopping for me?" Rita asked. "I'm not sure, Lincoln. It's a big responsibility; I'm not sure if you can handle it."
"I can, Mom!" Lincoln assured her. "I promise!"
"Yeah," J.D. agreed. "And think about what you could do with all that time to yourself."
Rita imagines herself at a spa, getting a facial with cucumber slices covering her eyes, a massage, a manicure, and enjoying a smoothie.
"Mmm...Ah, yes..." Rita murmured.
She belches upon sipping her smoothie and sighs with relief; end fantasy.
"Deal," Rita responded. "But just this once, okay?"
Lincoln yelled, "YES!" and then acted like a zombie. "Braaaaan...BRAAAAAN!"
Rita finds the source of the sink clog, which is Luan's multiple handkerchief prop.
"Oh, so that's it!" Rita yelled as she pulled out all the handkerchiefs. "LUAN, NO MORE COMEDY PROPS IN THE SINK!"
Lincoln is checking the shopping supplies. "Reusable bags, calculator, more reusable bags..."
Lori walks in. "Lincoln, I'm going shopping with you! Bobby literally just got a job as a stock boy."
Starfire, Terra, Raven, Argent, Riley, Naruto, Sakura, Fu, Eddy, and his other sisters join in and want to accompany him.
"Oh, guys, there's someone I want you all to meet," J.D. explained. "This is my friend Vince, and he just moved here."
"It's a pleasure to meet you all," Vince added. "Don't tell me. "You must be Lori," he said to her.
"That's right," Lori nodded.
"Lori's the Eldest of the Loud's Siblings, and she has awesome Wind Powers," J.D. explained.
"I've heard about it," Vince admitted.
"Show him, Lori," J.D. requested.
Lori stretched her wings and held mini tornadoes in her hands.
"That's so cool!" exclaimed Vince.
He noticed Carol and was immediately smitten.
"You must be Carol," Vince murmured nervously.
Carol was completely smitten with him.
"That's right," Carol answered, just as nervous. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Vince."
"Same here," Vince replied.
"I can tell Cupid's arrow struck, and you two have feelings," J.D. concluded.
"You're right, J.D.," Vince replied.
"Carol is one of the adopted siblings," J.D. explained.
"I'll tell you what happened when I can," Carol promised.
"That's alright," Vince replied. "You can let me know when you're ready."
"Carol has powers, too, and she got them from Cosmic Radiation," J.D. explained.
"Awesome!" exclaimed Vince. "You must be, Leni," he told her.
"That's right," Leni responded.
"I love your fashion designs," Vince remarked. He takes out a magazine. "I saw them in my favorite fashion magazine, the Fashion Enquirer."
"Thank you," Leni expressed gratitude. "I am totes glad you love them!"
"Thank you," Vince replied. "You must be Luna," he remarked to her.
"That's right, dude," Luna answered.
"I love your songs, and," Vince continued in a British accent, "MICK SWAGGER IS ROCKIN' LOVE!"
"RIGHT ON LOVE!" Luna said with a British accent.
"I made a Christmas song for Luna," J.D. explained. "I got to perform with Mick to make it."
"I've heard about it," Vince confessed. "That was incredible, dude! Your Ember McLain," he blurted to Ember as he gasped.
"That's right," Ember replied.
"Ember was killed in a horrible fire over 40 years ago, and she became a Rock & Roll Ghost," J.D. explained.
"That's what I heard," Vince responded. "I love your song, Remember."
"Thanks a lot, man," Ember replied. "Thanks to J.D., I've been granted a second chance."
"That's fantastic!" exclaimed Vince.
"Luna has Water Powers from The Sirens," J.D. explained.
"That's right. Watch." Luna fires a ball of singing water at a bottle, enveloping it in a ball of water and emitting a divine song.
"That is so cool!" exclaimed Vince. "You must be Gabrielle," he said to Gabrielle.
With a British accent, Gabrielle responded, "That's right."
"I've heard a lot about your adventures and how you went to the Center of the Earth," Vince added.
"That's right," Gabrielle replied. "It was a fantastic adventure."
"I believe it," Vince responded. "That must have been really cool. You must be Luan," he said to her.
"That's right," Luan replied. "I can tell that you've been wanting to MEET me." She then laughed. "Get it?"
J.D., Vince, Starfire, Raven, Terra, Argent, Naruto, Sakura, Fu, Carol, Leni, and Eddy laughed, while everyone else sighed.
"Luan is so hilarious!" Vince laughed.
"Luan is a comedy genius," J.D. added. "She can literally make anyone laugh."
"I believe it," Vince responded. "What do you call a cow with no legs?"
Luan replied, "I don't know. What?"
"Ground Beef!" Vince joked.
They were all laughing.
"Ground Beef!" J.D. laughed. "That was funny!"
"Ground Beef," Raven said, laughing. "That was a good one."
"That one had lots of BEEF," Luan joked, then laughed. "Get it?"
J.D., Vince, Starfire, Raven, Terra, Argent, Carol, Leni, Naruto, Sakura, Fu, Leni, and Eddy laughed while everyone else sighed.
"That was a good one," J.D. laughed.
"Lots of beef," Raven said, laughing. "I just got it."
"Luan always cracks us up," J.D. admitted. "She even has light powers. It gave her a GLOWING PERSONALITY."
Everyone was laughing.
"Good one!" Vince laughed.
"Good one J.D.," Luan said, laughing. "And yes, I have light powers. Watch."
In her hand, Luan formed a Blue Bird of Paradise out of pure blue light. She let it go, and it turned into a message that said, "Welcome Vince."
"That's so awesome!" shouted Vince.
"Thanks," Luan replied.
"You're welcome," Vince said. "You must be Eddy," he said to him.
"That's right," Eddy responded. "Nice to meet you, Vince."
Vince and Eddy shake hands, and Vince is zapped.
"I know what buzzes you," Eddy joked, holding up a joy buzzer.
"That's a classic!" Vince says, laughing.
"Luan and Eddy are boyfriend and girlfriend," J.D. explained. "They are known as the king and queen of comedy."
"Oh, wow," Vince gasped.
"Eddy is one of our friends, and he and Luan have their own birthday party comedy entertainment business called FUNNY BUSINESS," J.D. explained. "It's quite successful."
"That's fantastic," Vince exclaimed. "You must be Lynn," he continued.
"That's right," Lynn responded. "I'm the sports star of the family."
"I do a lot of sports," Vince explained. "I play basketball, baseball, football, and wrestling."
"Sweet!" exclaimed Lynn. "I participate in a variety of sports."
"Lynn has a lot of energy and strength," J.D. added. "She wants to master every sport you can think of. She even has Earth Powers."
"Yep. Watch." Lynn lit the fireplace by sending a wave of lava toward it.
"That is so awesome!" Vince yelled.
"Whoo!" gasped J.D. while sweating. "The heat from that was intense."
"Sorry," Lynn apologized.
"No kidding," Vince answered. "But that was incredible. You must be Shannon," he continued.
"That's right," Shannon confirmed. "I used to be a member of the Black Daffodil Gang."
"Shannon joined the Black Daffodil to take revenge on her parents," J.D. explained. "They were nasty serial killers who lived in the Chicago Projects."
"Oh man," Vince exclaimed. "That's awful. I'm sorry that happened to you."
"It's all right," Shannon said. "It's all water under the bridge."
"We adopted her after we took down the Black Daffodil Gang," J.D. explained.
"And it was the day I got my powers," Lynn added.
"That's cool!" exclaimed Vince. "You must be Linka," he told her.
"That's right," Linka replied. "I'm Lincoln's female counterpart from another universe."
"Linka came from a Flipped Gender Universe, and she had 11 brothers," J.D. explained. "They got into a vicious DEFCON 1 battle and flung her into our dimension."
"That's weird but interesting," Vince commented.
"In dimensional terms, Linka is now my twin sister," Lincoln explained.
"Wow," Vince exclaimed. "I was going to say you two look like identical twins."
"That's really cool, huh?" J.D. replied. "Gabrielle, Lincoln, and Linka all have Lightning Powers. Show him."
Gabrielle, Lincoln, and Linka each have a lightning arch in their hands.
"That is so cool!" exclaimed Vince. "You must be Lucy," he said to the girl.
"That's correct," Lucy responded.
"Lucy is the goth girl of the family," J.D. explained. "She loves vampires, bats, and the darkness." She has her own funeral service called Lucy's Lament. People find her to be spooky. No offense, Lucy."
"None was taken, J.D.," Lucy replied. "I also like poetry."
"I love writing poems as well," Vince admitted. "I'm a bit of a lover of darkness myself."
"That's interesting," Lucy commented.
"I also heard you fought the spirit of an insane priest in Chicago," Vince added.
"That's correct," Lucy replied.
"She killed Reverend Henry Kane's spirit," J.D. explained. "He was a deranged 19th century Satanic Cult Leader who wanted to destroy the world. He was after a young girl named Carol Anne Freeling, and he died intending to destroy the Afterlife."
"That is insane!" cried Vince."
I used my powers of darkness and destroyed him," Lucy explained. "Watch."
Lucy struck a chair with a bolt of black lightning, causing it to explode into sawdust.
"That is awesome!" Vince cheered.
"Lucy has the power to kill spirits, but she told me she only does it if they deserve it," J.D. explained.
"Interesting," Vince commented. "You must be Riley Anderson," he said to Riley.
Riley responded, "Yes, I am."
"We met Riley in Minnesota when we found out she ran away from San Francisco," J.D. explained.
"I've heard about that," Vince admitted.
"Yeah, but that's behind me now," Riley responded. "Also, I have plant powers. Watch."
Riley grew a cherry tree outside in the front yard.
"That is so awesome!" Vince exclaimed.
"Riley got her powers while watching a fight between Laney and a kid we all despised," J.D. explained.
"That's interesting," Vince commented. "You must be, Anastasia," he said to her.
"That's right," Anastasia replied.
"I helped Anastasia during the February Revolution in 1917," Lori added. "We both fought against Grigori Rasputin, destroyed him, and avenged the Tsarhood."
"That's incredible," Vince uttered. "However, that was 100 years ago."
"Yes, it was 100 years ago this year," J.D. confirmed. "But we have our own Simulator that takes us to different places across the fabric of the Space-Time Continuum."
"That's really cool!" exclaimed Vince. "Also, from what I remember, Anastasia Nikolaevna's disappearance was one of the great mysteries of the early 20th century."
"Yes," J.D. confirmed, "it was."
"Awesome!" exclaimed Vince."I am the Grand Duchess and Daughter of Tsar Nicholas II of Russia, and Grigori Rasputin destroyed my family," Anastasia explained.
"That's incredible!" exclaimed Vince. "I've heard about Rasputin. He was said to have started the Soviet Union back in 1920."
"Yes," J.D. confirmed. "He was one of the people who helped start it, and he also helped Russia enter the age of Communism."
"That's wrong on so many levels," Vince added.
"I agree," Lori answered. "So, I adopted Anastasia as my little sister."
"That's quite noble, Lori," Vince commented. "You must be Laney," he told Laney.
"Yes," Laney confirmed.
"It's a pleasure," Vince replied. "I've heard you have amazing plant powers."
"I sure do," Laney replied, before growing a meat-growing bush.
"That is awesome!" Vince cheered.
"A bush that can grow meat?" J.D. marveled. "That's weird, yet cool."
"That's awesome, Laney," Eddy added. "This brings back some memories for me. Back when I lived in Peach Creek, Rolf took my stuff for a fake money tree, and I tried to trick him in the same way with something like this."
"That's just too coincidental, Eddy," Laney noted.
"And I'll bet he didn't fall for it," J.D. added.
"Yep," Eddy agreed.
"It sounds like it," Vince responded. "I also heard you killed a terroristic kid here."
Laney answered, "Yes, I did."
"His name was Chandler Henderson," J.D. explained. "He used to go to Royal Woods Elementary and was a complete lunatic. He bullied Laney a while back, and Laney stood up to him with little encouragement from Varie, and she fought him and won."
"He also told us that he wanted to burn down the whole school and frame J.D. for the crime," Lucy added.
"Yeah," J.D. agreed. "He was a terrorist in the making."
"He also escaped from an insane asylum on the western side of the state, and Laney fought him and killed him," Lincoln recalled.
"Chandler made a deal with the Devil, and he sold his soul for the power to destroy Laney," J.D. explained. "He had this evil amulet, and Laney crushed it and killed him."
"That's horrible!" Vince gasped.
"Yeah," Laney agreed. "But I'm over it now."
Vince apologized to Laney and said, "I'm very sorry that happened to you."
"It's okay, Vince," Laney assured him. "But thank you."
"You're welcome," Vince replied. "You must be the twins, Lana and Lola," he said to them.
"That's right," Lana acknowledged. "I'm Lana, and I'm the family handyman." She gave Vince her business card. "I do toilets, sinks, showers, electrical wiring, and automobiles."
"When it comes to the house's internal and external plumbing, Lana can fix it," J.D. explained. "She is the oldest twin and loves animals."
"Yep," Lana confirmed. "Yo Hops, El Diablo! Come on down here!"
El Diablo arrived, followed by Hops. Hops landed on Lana's hat.
"This is Hops," Lana remarked, introducing her frog.
Vince greeted Hops, saying, "Nice to meet you."
Hops used his tongue to give Vince a high-five.
El Diablo slithered down the stairs, wrapping around Vince and nuzzling his left cheek.
"Aww," Lana cried. "El Diablo likes you."
"I love snakes," Vince confessed. "El Diablo is a nice snake."
"Yep," Lana agreed. "You two go back to my room now, okay?"
They went back to Lana's room.
"Lana also has Ice Powers," J.D. explained.
"Yep," Lana confirmed. "Watch."
Lana shoots a beam of ice lightning, creating an ice sculpture in the shape of Dubai's Burj Khalifa.
Vince: That is so awesome! I love that building, the Burj Khalifa.
"It's the tallest building in the world," J.D. explained. "It is 2800 feet high."
"Yep," Lana agreed. "I also use Magiswords. Check it out."
Lana spins her bracelet and pulls out a Magisword from it.
"CHEESE MAGISWORD!" yelled the announcer.
"What do you think, Vince?" Lana asked.
"That's so awesome!" exclaimed Vince.
"Magiswords are awesome," J.D. added. "There are so many different kinds of Magiswords, each with different shapes and powers."
"Check it out," Lana offered. "Cheddar!"
In her hand, she made a wedge of cheddar cheese.
"Cheddar Cheese," Vince said. "My favorite."
Lana handed it over to Vince.
"Thank you," Vince responded, taking it and eating the cheese. "Delicious. You must be the princess, Lola," he continued, addressing her.
"That's right," Lola answered. "I'm the younger twin. I compete in beauty pageants and host tea parties and photo shoots."
"I can tell," Vince confessed. "From what I've heard, you have a lot of talent."
"Yep," Lola agreed.
"Lola is the Ultimate Beauty Pageant Princess Queen, and she is loaded with skill," J.D. explained. "Lola also has fire powers."
"That's right," Lola agreed. "Watch."
Lola creates a fireball in her hand and shoots it at the fireplace, where it ignites the ashes.
"That's awesome!" exclaimed Vince. "Lana and Lola, the twins of Fire and Ice. That's perfect for you two."
"I was thinking the exact same thing," J.D. admitted.
"We get that a lot around here," Lana explained.
"It's perfect for our personalities," Lola added.
"Just a heads up, Vince: never, ever, ever call Lola U-G-L-Y," J.D. warned. "It's taboo for her. She put a kid in the hospital because of it."
"Oh man," Vince gasped. "I know taboo words."
"Yeah," Lola confirmed. "Thank you for forewarning him, J.D."
"You're welcome, Lola," J.D. replied.
"Thank you for warning me, J.D.," Vince responded. "You must be Lisa the genius," he told her.
"Correct," Lisa replied. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Vince."
"Lisa is the Loud Siblings' scientist," J.D. explained. "She has a Ph.D., a Junior Nobel Prize, and is a great inventor. She is trying to invent awesome ways to further benefit all mankind."
"That's awesome," Vince replied. "Have you invented cold fusion and warp drive?"
"Affirmative," Lisa replied. "Cold fusion was technically the easiest thing for me to invent, and my prototype warp drive engine is still in the works."
"That's cool," Vince commented.
"Lisa also has Technokinetic powers," J.D. added. "With the power of her mind, she can create all kinds of machines."
"Yes, I do," Lisa confirmed. "Care for a demonstration?"
"Sure," Vince replied.
Lisa gathered some scrap metal and fashioned it into a ray gun. "This is a crystal-transmogrifying ray. It can transform any object into any mineral or crystal. Simply set it to that specific mineral and..."
She turned a dial and fired a stool; the stool transformed into one made entirely of pure emerald crystal.
"Success!" shouted Lisa.
"That's so cool!" exclaimed Vince.
"Indeed," Lisa agreed.
"That was awesome," J.D. commented, "and they do say that diamonds are a girl's best friend. Right, Lori?"
"True to that," Lori agreed.
"I believe it," Vince admitted. "And you must be the youngest, Lily," he continued.
"That's right," Lily replied. "I became a 10-year-old because of the Glowing Water of Coventina."
"That's cool," Vince responded.
"Most of the Loud Siblings were given their powers by deities from myths throughout the world," J.D. explained.
"That's interesting," Vince commented.
"Yeah," Lily agreed. "That surprised me as well. Watch."
Lily launched a ball of glowing blue water into a plant pot, where it watered the plant.
"That is so cool!" exclaimed Vince.
"It was a complete surprise for us when Lily became a 10-year-old," J.D. explained.
"Biologically, she's 15 months old."
"That's cool and unusual," Vince added. "I have powers too. Watch."
Vince grew a sapphire crystal cluster from the floor, and it sparkled.
"That is amazing!" cried Lori.
"You have Crystal Powers?" Lynn gasped. "That is sweet!"'
"Vince got his power from Cosmic Radiation as well," J.D. explained. "But he got his powers 22 years ago."
"Yeah," Vince confirmed. "You must be the famous Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze," he told Naruto.
Naruto: That's right. It's a pleasure to meet you.
"Same here," Vince nodded.
"I'm a ninja from the Hidden Leaf Village," Naruto explained. "We have a different fighting style than the ninjas of feudal Japan in the 17th Century."
"Naruto is my adopted little brother," J.D. explained. "He comes from a very dark background, yet in the shinobi lifestyle, the Leaf uses a powerful energy called Chakra, and it's what they use in their techniques. Watch."
J.D. stood in position and formed a sword made of pure lightning that was chirping.
"LIGHTNING STYLE: CHIDORI LONGSWORD!" J.D. yelled. "What do you think?"
"That's awesome!" shouted Vince.
"Me, Linka, and Laney are all shinobi, Vince," Lincoln explained.
"That's cool," Vince commented. "You must be Sakura Haruno," he said to her.
"That's right," Sakura responded. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Vince."
"Same here," Vince remarked. "Your hair is very pretty, and it goes perfectly with your namesake: Cherry Blossom."
"Thank you, Vince," Sakura replied.
"You're welcome," Vince said. "You must be Fu," he said to Fu.
"That's right," Fu replied. "I don't have a last name, but it's a pleasure to meet you, Vince."
Vince replied, "Same here." He noticed Starfire, Raven, Terra, and Argent. "No way! Starfire, Raven, Terra, and Argent! Awesome! You're some of my favorite superheroes!"
"I'm glad we have a fan," Starfire expressed her delight.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Vince," Raven remarked. "That was a funny joke."
"Raven likes our jokes," Luan explained.
Vince said, "I'm willing to believe it."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Vince," Terra remarked. "I can tell we're going to be great friends."
"Same here," Argent added.
"I can tell," Vince acknowledged.
"Anyway," Lincoln continued. "Sorry, guys. I'm a man on a mission, and you'll just get in my way."
"I'll help you shop Lincoln," Laney offered.
"Yeah," Lynn agreed. "Us too!"
The others agree with Lynn, and Lincoln looks over the long list.
"Okay, fine," Lincoln responded, "I guess I could use a little help."
The sisters cheered.
The Louds arrive at Super Mart.
"Alright, Lincoln," Rita began, "here's the list, and here's exactly $500." She excitedly hands him the list and money. "I'll be back in an hour! I'm off to get my first pedicure in 17 years!"
"Bye, Ms. Rita," J.D. added.
Lincoln walks into the store and notices a sign advertising Zombie Bran.
"You will be mine," Lincoln declared as his sisters entered. "Are you ready, guys?"
The manager walks in. "Whoa, whoa! What do you think you're doing, hooligans?"
"We're shopping for our mom, sir," Lincoln answered.
J.D. looks at the manager and notices something familiar about him.
"I've seen this guy before," J.D. thought to himself. "But where?"
Lori noticed Bobby and gasped. "Bobby Boo-Boo Bear!"
Bobby is restocking paper towel rolls. "Babe!"
They hugged each other.
"I don't believe this, he works here now?" Laney questioned.
"I love a man in uniform!" Lori declared.
"It's all right, boss," Bobby replied. "I know them."
"Very reassuring, Boo-Boo Bear," the manager replied angrily as he checked their list. "Huh...eggs, milk...well, okay. Looks legit," he growled threateningly, "but any monkey business and you're all out on your keisters!" He then walked away.
J.D. glared at him.
"Bobby amigo!" J.D. greeted.
"J.D. compadre!" Bobby replied. "What's up, man?"
"We're here to shop for the family," J.D. explained.
"Cool man," Bobby uttered. "Well, I have to get back to work."
"All right," J.D. replied. "Oh! Bobby, this is Vince, my new friend. He just moved here. This is Bobby Santiago, Lori's boyfriend."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Bobby," Vince added.
"It's a pleasure to meet you as well, amigo," Bobby answered. "Welcome to Royal Woods."
"Thank you," Vince replied.
"All right, guys, you heard him!" Lincoln said. "You all have to be on your best behavior! Now, if we each take a section of Mom's list-"
The girls run over him and disappear into different parts of the store.
"I should have known... I'd been played," Lincoln grumbled.
"Don't worry, Lincoln, I'll keep them under control," Laney assured him. "You just complete that list."
"I always know I can count on you, Laney," Lincoln added. Laney chases after her sisters.
The list reads for eggs that are not cracked, milk that's not spoiled, instant noodles, onions, and potatoes.
Lincoln said to himself, "I've got $500; I just need a way to save $4." He came across a dented can of tomato sauce. "Ooh! 10 cents off the dented one! With a few more savings like this, I'll have enough for my Zombie Bran!"
Lynn is speeding on a shopping cart. "YIPPEE-KI-YEE, MARKET SHOPPERS! YAYAYAYAYAYA-WOO!" She runs into him and picks up Lincoln.
"Lynn!" Lincoln yelled. From inside the cart, he looks at Laney. "Laney! I thought you were watching over our sisters!"
"Uhh... minor setback?" Laney grinned nervously.
Lincoln gasps when he notices the manager polishing a chicken rotisserie. "Eject! EJECT! EJECT!"
The manager chases the cart as it wheels by; Lynn has landed in the marshmallow bin.
"Ah, nice!" sighed Lynn. "Ha ha! A soft landing."
Lincoln has landed in the pineapple box.
"Ugh," Lincoln grumbled. "Maybe for you."
A kid with bleach blonde hair, an orange shirt, blue jeans, and a white hat, who looks eerily similar to Lincoln, notices him and laughs at his painful landing.
"Is it my imagination, or does that kid look a lot like Lincoln?" Laney thought to herself.
"What are you laughing at?" J.D. asked the kid.
The kid ran, leaving J.D., Vince, Laney, and Lincoln to continue shopping.
"Maybe it's safer if I just help you with your shopping," Laney suggested. "That way, we can keep our crazy sisters in control."
"Good idea, Laney," Lincoln responded. He realizes he still has a pineapple in his pants and takes it out, producing some severe aftershocks. "YEOWCH!" He throws the pineapple away and goes over the list. "Okay. Where were we? Milk."
In the dairy section, Luan is juggling eggs.
"Step right up, folks, to see some eggs-cellent juggling!" Luan joked and then laughed. "Get it?"
"Good one, Luan," J.D. says, laughing.
"That's something made EGG-citing!" Vince joked.
Luan: (Laughs) Good one. [drops the eggs on a passing customer.] "Whoops! Oh, looks like the yolk's on you! [laughs again]
J.D. said, "Sorry sir," snapping his fingers to fix the eggs.
"Hey, that was cool," said the customer. "Thanks, kid."
"You're welcome," J.D. responded.
"I didn't know you could do stuff like that with just a snap of your fingers," Vince admitted.
"Cosmic radiation gave me omnipotent powers," J.D. explained. "Its effects are completely unpredictable."
Vince replied, "I'm willing to believe it."
"Luan!" Lincoln yelled. "Cut it out!" They noticed the manager going through the inventory. Now Luan is balancing eggs on her head.
"Whoa!" exclaimed Luan. "How's this for a balanced breakfast?" She laughed again.
"That's part of a balanced breakfast," J.D. jokes. "There are no yolks about it."
"Good one," Luan says, laughing.
Lincoln grabs her, and the manager slips on the egg yolks and lands on the pineapple Lincoln discarded.
"YEOWCH!" screamed the manager. "WHO DID THIS?" He looked around. "We have a hooligan in our midst... and they will pay with their lives." He revealed that he had a gun in his pants pocket.
J.D. suddenly remembered who the manager was.
"Oh no," gasped J.D. "This store is in grave danger."
"Why do you say that?" Vince asked.
"That manager right there," J.D. continued. "He's known as the Hooligan Killer. He is wanted by the FBI as one of the country's most notorious serial killers. Not only that, but he's wanted in connection with the murders of 40 people across five states."
"Are you serious, J.D.?" Lincoln asked.
"I certainly am," J.D. replied.
He took out an FBI wanted poster and showed it to Lincoln, Luan, Laney, and Vince.
"His name is Cain Torres, and he's an escaped prisoner from California's San Quentin Prison," J.D. explained. "He was on Death Row after being found guilty of 20 previous murders."
"That's insane!" shouted Lincoln.
"So, we've got an escaped Death Row Inmate in the store?" Luan asked.
"That's right."
They see a man wearing a fedora hat and a trench coat.
"And you are?" J.D. asked.
"My name is Abel Torres, and my brother is Cain Torres."
"Cain and Abel Torres?" J.D. questioned. "It's like something out of the Bible."
"It feels that way, huh?" Vince responded. "Abel, why is your brother killing so many people?"
"Jealousy," Abel explained. "I became a famous author. He wanted to be a chef but failed. So he became a serial killer to make our family suffer."
"That's terrible," Laney remarked. "We have to stop him."
"And we will," J.D. promised. "Vince, you call the police. We'll evacuate the store."
"You got it," Vince responded, taking out his phone.
"Lincoln, go grab everyone and tell them what's going on," J.D. commanded.
"Right," Lincoln agreed.
Abel, Laney, and J.D. march up to a cashier.
"Miss, you have to evacuate the store immediately," J.D. ordered. "We have an escaped Death Row inmate here posing as the manager. Look."
When J.D. showed her the wanted poster, she gasped and sounded the alarm.
"ATTENTION SHOPPERS WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY SITUATION HERE," the clerk on the PA announced. "IMMEDIATELY EVACUATE THE STORE!"
They regrouped.
"All right, everyone," J.D. began, "we've got a fight on our hands. Let's go get him."
"Come on out, you hooligan!" Cain yelled. "So I can kill you."
"How about you die first, Cain!" J.D. shouted back.
"J.D. Knudson," Cain replied. "So you found me out."
"Yes, I did, and we're going to stop you," J.D. answered back.
Abel stepped forward.
"Abel?" cried Cain.
"Yes, Cain," Abel acknowledged. "You have to return to prison so that you can face justice here and with God."
"Never!" Cain declared. "You ruined everything for me, Abel! Because of you, I failed to become a chef and instead became a serial killer! I HATE YOU ALL MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!"
J.D.'s aura suddenly erupted with so much intensity.
J.D. declared, "It's over Cain," and then he dropped to his knees and prayed in Hebrew to God.
אלוהים אדירים, יש לנו אדם שברח בשם קין טורס והוא הרג ארבעים אנשים. אנחנו הולכים לעצור אותו ואתה יכול בבקשה לסמן אותו עם סימן זהה שנתת קין בספר שלך טוב? זה להראות שהוא ננטש לנצח.
Translation: Dear God, we have a man that escaped named Cain Torres, and he killed forty people. We are going to stop him and can you please mark him with the same mark you gave Cain in your good book? It's to show that he is forever forsaken.
Suddenly, Cain was struck by lightning, and as he stood up, the center of his forehead bore a red mark. It was shaped like a tree.
"So that's the infamous Cain's Mark," J.D. noted. "It's fitting for you, Cain Torres."
"He's now forever forsaken," Vince explained.
"And the Netherworld is the only place for him," Lincoln added.
"Yep," Laney agreed.
"This mark is your curse, Cain," J.D. explained. "You can't be killed, just like in the Bible, and anyone who does will suffer God's wrath seven times over."
"If I were you, I'd turn yourself in," Lori advised.
"Never!" Cain shouted back. "I'll kill you all!"
J.D. punched him in the face, knocking the gun out of his hand, and then he grabbed it, and put it in his pocket.
Lincoln fired a blast of lightning, and it electrocuted him.
Laney wrapped him in plant vines and slammed him through the floor, but he was far from finished.
Cain stood up, infuriated. He put on some knuckledusters; J.D. did the same and then hit him in the stomach. He has them in both hands, as does Cain. They erupted in a flurry of fierce fisticuffs, and sparks flew all over the store, putting everything on fire. Explosions ripped through the ceiling, causing sections of it to fall. Lola shot a ball of fire at Cain's leg, burning it. Gabrielle struck him with a bolt of lightning and electrocuted him. Explosions rang out, destroying everything in their path, and fire erupted everywhere.
"This whole place is going to blow!" Laney yelled. "Let's grab Cain and get out of here!"
"Right!" J.D. responded.
Laney wrapped him in bramble vines, and they all raced out of the store just as it exploded into a blazing fireball.
"Whoa!" shouted J.D. "That was a close one."
"Whoo, yes!" shouted Vince. "What a blast!"
"You said it," Lori agreed.
The police cars arrived and arrested Cain without incident.
"You're going to pay for your crimes, Cain," J.D. declared.
"I HATE YOU, J.D.!" screamed Cain.
"Eat my shorts and drop dead!" J.D. shouted back.
"Yeah!" Vince agreed. "Remember this: No matter what you do in your last few days of life, you'll always be garbage!"
"Well said, Vince," J.D. nodded. "Get him out of here," he ordered to the officers.
He was taken away.
"Nice work, J.D.," commented Officer Paul. "We've been after Cain for ten years."
"I can't believe he was able to avoid you guys for so long," J.D. remarked. "He should be executed as soon as he gets back to California."
"You're right about that," responded Officer Paul.
"J.D. Knudson?"
"Yes," J.D. answered.
"Agent Waco, FBI. Great job in catching Cain for us. He is the 584th most wanted fugitive on the FBI's list of the top ten Most Wanted Fugitives."
"I'm glad to help," J.D. replied.
They later went to a different supermarket and bought all of their groceries. Cain had a $50 million bounty on his head, which was given to the Loud Family.
They picked out lots of groceries and a lot more stuff.
"So, Vince, what did you think of all this?" J.D. asked.
"It was awesome, dude!" Vince exclaimed. "I have a feeling we're going to be great friends and partners."
"That's great!" Lincoln replied.
"I'm also planning to take Carol on a date," Vince added.
J.D. responded, "I had a feeling you were."
Back at the Loud House, Carol came down dressed in a stunning purple dress, and she was wearing beautiful jewelry.
"Carol, you look amazing," Vince commented.
"Thank you, Vince," Carol blushed.
"Have a great time, you two," J.D. encouraged.
Vince and Carol returned 2 hours later.
"I had a really great time with you, Vince," Carol admitted. "You are a very sweet man."
"Thanks, Carol," Vince replied. "You are sweet and beautiful. You can also dance really well."
"Thank you," Carol replied.
"How did it go, you two?" J.D. inquired.
"It was amazing," Vince replied. "Now Carol and I are boyfriend and girlfriend."
"Way to go, guys!" J.D. exclaimed.
"I'm happy for you, Carol," Lori gushed.
"Thanks Lori," Carol replied.
"I have to get home," Vince explained. "See you on our next adventure, J.D."
"Will do, partner," J.D. answered.
Vince went home, and they all retired for the night. Cain Torres' death sentence was commuted to 40 life sentences with no chance of parole. He was transferred to the Lake Vostok Triple Supermax Prison, where he now makes doilies. J.D. cursed him with a fate worse than death: Eternal Life without Eternal Youth. This curse will follow him until his 40 life terms are completed.
THE END.
