He stumbled half blindly through the corridors until he got to the entrance to the headmaster's office, which was blocked by a stone gargoyle, and groaned as he realised he had no idea what the password was and didn't fancy spending half the evening trying to guess what obscene type of candy it was. Instead, he leaned against the wall and allowed himself to slump down until he was sitting on the ground with his head in his hands.
He wasn't sure how much time had passed although he must have managed to doze off as the next thing he was aware of he was jolted out of his slumber by a familiar stern voice "Mr Snape may I ask what you are still doing out in the corridor after curfew?"
He groaned and blinked blearily up at the equally stern face of Professor McGonagall, his Transfiguration teacher, head of Gryffindor and ironically one of the few teachers who actually stood up for him and attempted to defend him more so in fact than his own blinded and inept head of house.
He rubbed his eyes and managed to croak out a reply from his parched throat "I need to see the Headmaster Professor"
"Yes, well I gathered as much" she moved to grab his arm to help him up "come along you should be in your common room" she said taking in his bruised and battered body, swollen, bloodied face and crumpled and dusty uniform, "although on second thoughts perhaps you'd be better off visiting Poppy in the hospital wing."
Those words jolted him out of his drowsy state "no!" he yelled, startling the Professor who glowered at him. He mumbled an apology sheepishly "sorry, I just meant I need to see Professor Dumbledore, please it's urgent" he pleaded.
"So urgent it won't wait until the morning?" he nodded desperately. She sighed, "Alright come along then" turning to the gargoyle she said the password with pursed lips "lemon drops"
Together they travelled up the spiral staircase Severus with his head down as he tried to figure out what he was going to say to the headmaster. All too soon, the ride ended and he found himself being nudged towards the door to the office.
Dumbledore was sat behind his impressive desk immersed in the paperwork that was scattered across the surface with his phoenix preening himself nearby, but upon the arrival of his visitors he looked up, "Ah Minerva, Mr Snape, what can I do for you at this late hour?" he asked as he adjusted his half-moon spectacles and tidied up the paperwork with a swish of his wand.
"I found Mr Snape asleep outside your office and when I woke him he said that had to talk to you most urgently" Professor McGonagall explained.
"Ah, I see, well then you'd best come and take a seat" he said indicating a seat. Nervously Severus complied not quite daring to look up and meet the powerful wizard's eye. "Now then what can I do for you?"
He fidgeted for a minute wondering how to start "I called Lily a mudblood earlier" he blurted out, not the opening he'd planned but needing to get it out in the open and relieve some of his guilt.
Both teachers exchanged a shocked look, having watched the two unlikely friends grow up together over the past five years. "Mr Snape!" Professor McGonagall admonished him.
Dumbledore raised his hand to silence her "now let's not be too quick to judge, I'm sure there must be a reason for this outburst" he said sternly, "tell me Severus were you provoked?"
He gulped before nodding, "Potter and Black were attacking me again, they used several hexes before I had a chance to defend myself, including Levicorpus. It ... well I'd rather not discuss what happened next suffice to say they humiliated me in front of half the school" he explained his face flushing with embarrassment.
"It's alright I understand, did you use any spells to attack them or defend yourself?"
"Just one, a cutting spell on Potter, it drew a bit of blood on his cheek" he admitted.
The headmaster sighed, used as he was to their conflicts he had actually expected the retaliation to be worse "I see continue."
"Lily stepped in to defend me and Potter said I should be glad she was there to save me. I could not stop myself the words spilt out before I realised what I had said. That wasn't the reason though" he explained hurriedly before rifling through his book bag and fishing out the letter.
"I received this earlier and I was quite upset by it, my emotions were all over the place and then Potter hexing me and humiliating me in front of half the school just well it pushed me over the edge" he finished pushing the letter across for him to examine before slumping his shoulders wearily and hanging his head while waiting for the headmaster to pass judgment.
Albus picked up the letter warily and scanned the contents with growing concern as his deputy headmistress came to stand behind him, suddenly feeling much more sympathetic to the young boy seated before him in the face of such news.
He silently passed the letter to her aware that she had known Eileen Prince when they were both students and had been affected by the news of her sudden disappearance. She also read the letter with increasing shock and gasped, appalled by what she was reading and the implied message of what that monster had done to her.
The headmaster noticed her response and patted her arm sympathetically "I think it best if I handle this Minerva, why don't you go get some rest my dear" he said to his deputy but his eyes firmly rooted on Severus as she passed the letter back to him.
"Of course Albus" she paused on her way out, resting her hand briefly on the young boy's shoulder "I'm so sorry Severus" she said sadly to him although he barely acknowledged her.
The headmaster waited until she had left the office before turning his eyes back to his clearly distraught and exhausted young charge "Severus"
He raised his sagging head and looked up at him from behind his long lank hair "I'm sorry. Guess I see now why you always punished me and not the Gryffindors, knowing that I'm the son of a monster" he said despondently.
He blinked at the young man in shock before rounding the desk, knelt and clasping the boy's hands in his own and forcing him to look at him "Severus listen to me" he said firmly. "That is not true at all. This news has come as much of a shock to me as it has to you. I wish I could use that as an excuse for my treatment towards you but the truth is quite simply that I acted as a blind and biased old fool"
"You see, when I first saw you I was reminded of another young boy. This boy was called Tom Riddle, he was a Slytherin, a cold and calculating young boy who had no friends but plenty of admirers amongst the students and staff alike. He was able to turn on the charm and be quite persuasive when he wished to be, he was allowed to get away with a lot more than any other student did and ended up going down a very dark path. I have never been able to see Slytherin in the same light since and I thought I saw the same thing in you and was determined that this time I would not make the same mistakes"
He sighed "I was worried when I saw you getting into trouble with those other boys and immersing yourself in the dark arts and foolishly believed that by punishing you and ignoring what I saw as attention-seeking behaviour I could nip it in the bud and stop you from making the same mistakes"
"I was a fool, I should have seen past that and realised that your personality is entirely different and that you were not craving attention so much as you needed someone to act as a mentor, to show you some affection and acknowledgement of your skills. Unfortunately, I fear my old Gryffindor bias played a part as well, I should also have disciplined all of you equally instead of allowing them to believe their actions were acceptable and thus letting things grow out of hand"
"I fear that my actions only pushed you and other Slytherins further into the hands of your housemates who were keen to convert you to their more extreme and fanatical viewpoint for that I apologise, I only hope that you will please give me another chance to try and make up for my mistakes, I promise you I will do my best to rectify my mistakes"
Severus nodded his acceptance before looking up at him with bloodshot eyes "I don't want to be a Death Eater, not anymore, I thought you, you could help me" he pleaded looking at him with red-rimmed eyes before looking away despondently at his unwavering face, believing his plea to have fallen on deaf ears.
"Severus" Dumbledore said softly causing him to look back up cautiously at him "I promise I will do everything I can to help you" he said solemnly putting a hand gently on his arm.
"Thank you" he breathed in relief, his whole body seeming to relax slightly, "it was all I dreamed of, I'd finally be worth something, I'd have recognition, power and I'd be working towards a better world. Turns out it was all a lie, all my life's been a lie"
"You are worth something Severus, you don't need that kind of recognition or to join that kind of group to prove that" he interceded gently.
Severus continued, apparently unaware of the interruption, "I'm not even allowed to be with my one true friend" he said his shoulders sagging.
It took but a moment for his words to sink in "I see was that why you lashed out at Miss Evans to protect her?"
He looked up at the old man "he made it quite clear what he'd do if I had any kind of relationship with muggleborns. I didn't mean to, that is I never intended to call her that name it just kind of slipped out but it's not safe for us to be together, he would kill her if he knew we were friends or worse. I can't allow that, I'd do anything to protect her, even if she hates me at least she'd be safe" he said with steely determination in his eyes.
He rubbed his eyes tiredly "I see well given the circumstances, I will let your earlier use of that offensive word slide but I'd better not hear you've been using it again" he told him sternly.
"I promise I would never" he replied the disgust he felt with himself was plain to see.
"Good, now it's late and you're clearly exhausted. I would like to run some tests on you quickly and then I think you'd best try and get some sleep," Severus snorted as he rummaged through his desk, he did not think he would be getting much sleep anytime soon after today's events and revelations.
Severus watched curiously as the headmaster removed a parchment and explained its purpose "if you would prick your thumb and give me a drop or two of your blood, then this parchment should reveal your family tree and any magical families you are descended from."
He obliged pricking his thumb with the needle provided and allowing a drop of blood to splash onto the parchment before the headmaster performed a simple healing charm to stem the blood "it will be a few hours before the results are ready" he explained whilst rolling up the parchment before waving his wand over him and speaking an incantation, an instant later another scroll appeared in his hand which he read, his brow furrowing with concern.
Severus looked at him with concern "sir?"
The headmaster looked at him seriously over his half-moon glasses "I have just performed a full diagnostic scan Severus, it indicates there is dark magic residue inside you" he stated before waving his wand again while muttering an incantation and running it up and down his body several times before brushing aside his hair and revealing the small snakelike scar on his forehead. Severus gulped.
He looked at it with a puzzled expression on his face, making Severus feel like squirming under his scrutiny "how long have you had that scar?" he asked eventually.
"Uh as long as I can remember, I assumed it was a birthmark" he answered truthfully, "why?" He asked, feeling confused and a growing sense of unease.
The man backed up a step looking at him intently "that kind of shape does not occur naturally, it is not a birthmark Severus, it is typically only achieved when someone has cast a curse on someone using dark magic."
"Oh" he said numbly, that was definitely not good. He had a thought "do you know what spell it was?"
"No, I'm afraid I do not" he said tiredly.
"But you have an idea?" He asked, desperately latching on to that hope.
"Yes, but it will take some time to research, you must give me some time to devote to this problem. Now I would suggest you return to your common room and get some sleep. I promise I will make time to discuss this with you before the holidays, you may use my floo connection"
He nodded and made his way to the fireplace before something hit him, he turned back to the headmaster "you know who cast it don't you?" the man raised his eyes to meet his expectant face and inclined his head "it was my father, wasn't it?"
He sighed, rubbing his brow "that is my suspicion yes" Severus simply nodded, not truly surprised it was just another reason to hate the man who was supposedly his father.
The old wizard examined the younger taking in his dishevelled and exhausted state as he reached for the floo powder, he could be hiding any number of injuries if he had been fighting earlier and he somehow doubted he would be getting much sleep with all those revelations playing on his mind.
"On second thoughts perhaps you may be better off going to the hospital wing tonight"
The boy whirled around an expression of horror on his face "what! No, I'm fine really"
The headmaster walked over and put his aged hand on his shoulder "I insist Severus, come I will go with you and explain and see if perhaps Madam Pomfrey will give you a sleeping draught" The boy sagged nodding his drooping head in reluctant acceptance.
He followed him through the fireplace after calling out the name of their destination, he looked around the infirmary before calling out for the nurse who swiftly came bustling out of her office looking put out at being disturbed at this hour.
"Ah Headmaster and what can I do for you at this late hour?" she said sounding only slightly less put out, particularly when she saw his reluctant patient skulking behind him.
The headmaster ignored this and greeted her brightly "ah Poppy there you are good. I've just had Mr Snape in my office, it seems that he had another altercation with Mr Potter and Mr Black earlier and given his current state, I thought it would be best if he was checked over"
Poppy clucked in resigned disappointment, she had treated all the boys more times than she could count as a result of their encounters, particularly this reluctant and sullen boy, although it would probably have been more if he actually came of his own volition instead of being dragged there by his fiery Gryffindor friend. She despaired sometimes and wondered when those boys would ever learn and grow up.
She ran her wand over him to get a quick scan of his injuries "right well there's nothing serious but I would like you to stay the night, now I'm sure you know the drill, pick a bed and there are pyjamas in the usual place, I'll be with you in just a minute" she instructed as she turned to gather her supplies giving him the privacy to get changed.
Albus followed her into her office and out of earshot "thank you Poppy I will leave you to your patient in just a moment but if I may make a suggestion he has had a very trying day and has received some very distressing news, part of the reason why I brought him down was because I feared that he may be in need of a dreamless sleep potion tonight"
She looked up "I see, thank you for informing me, I will make sure to offer him one, thank you Albus goodnight" he left the nurse going about her business before casting one last sad look at the boy sitting despondently on one of the beds. The boy had a great burden placed on his shoulders. He'd ignored him for far too long now it was time to start making things right.
Author's Notes:
So now things are getting interesting, Dumbledore's beginning to realise that he's made some errors in judgment and let past experience and house bias subconsciously influence him. As for Severus, he doesn't exactly have much reason to trust Dumbledore given how he's treated him in the past, but then again he's desperate and knows that there are few people powerful and knowledgeable enough to help him and protect him from Voldemort.
Side note Dumbledore does not know about Severus being Tom's son but I think he sees some similarities in them and that makes him weary about how he treats him even though the same actions that may have helped reign in Tom's behaviour wouldn't necessarily help Severus and might in fact push him further away. Severus needed adults who he could look up to and trust to treat him fairly and look out for his best interests, people who looked out for him and helped guide him. I also don't think that he knows Severus is a Horcrux, but I think he may have some suspicions after all it's not entirely clear in canon how long he knows that Voldemort has made one or multiple Horcruxes although if he removed the book that Tom used to research how to create one it suggests that he had an idea of what he was doing.
There will be a slight change next week as it's my birthday on Friday and my plans for the evening mainly consist of reading some good Severus-related fanfiction and building some LEGO two of my passions so I will aim to upload a new chapter earlier in the week probably on Thursday evening instead.
Reviews:
Baixiaochung2910:
Thank you I'm glad you're enjoying it
