Lily was left feeling more confused and conflicted than ever after her last chat with Severus. She'd hoped that talking to him would clear things up and that she'd know for sure whether he was still the friend that she'd grown up with or if she'd lost him to the Death Eaters but he'd been so secretive it was as though he was talking in riddles or afraid of being overheard.

She didn't know what to think, it had been tearing her apart, and if she was being honest, his words had really hurt her so she'd been avoiding him. She'd felt on occasion his eyes on her and she'd refused to meet them, unable to look at him. Of course, her friends were quite clear on what they thought. None of them understood why she hung out with him and not just because he was from Slytherin, their bitter rival and the epitome of all things dark and evil but because they simply found him creepy or repulsive and ugly with his greasy hair and pale, almost sickly skin colour, he was gangly and awkward and not at all good at being sociable.

But she'd never minded or noticed, he'd been her best friend since before Hogwarts and her parents had taught her better than to judge by appearances besides which such things didn't matter so much when you were nine.

She'd seen a side to him that no one else knew existed and she knew that if you could get behind his defences and the cold mask he put up around most people underneath that prickly exterior and behind his cutting words was a boy who was hurting and lonely and desperate for a real friend whose kind and gentle spirit had been battered by years of rejection. It hadn't been easy but they'd both vowed to stay friends throughout Hogwarts and somehow in spite of their new friends and rival houses, they'd managed to make it work but now it felt like he was drifting away and that scared her more than she wanted to admit.

Part of her was tempted just to walk away, he was headed down a dark path, one which she couldn't follow even if she wanted to and surely trying to remain friends would only end up hurting her more in the long run right. But on the other hand, he was her best friend and that last conversation had unnerved her. What was he hiding? what was he afraid to tell her? Were his housemates pressuring him to join the Death Eaters? She certainly wouldn't put it past Malfoy to be exerting his influence even if he had graduated several years back.

She didn't want to just give up on him if there was a chance that he could be saved but she just wasn't sure what to do about it and she knew there was only one person who she could share her problem with who might be able to tell her what she could do. There was one thing that she did know though and that was that she was determined that she wasn't just going to lose Severus without a fight, she'd get to the bottom of this somehow.

So with a plan in mind, she'd hurried up to her dorm to finish packing before heading up to the headmaster's office. Along the way she encountered her head of house and decided that she perhaps ought to check that he was free instead of going up to his office unannounced "excuse me, Professor, I don't suppose you know if the headmaster is free at the minute?"

"Ah, Miss Evans I believe he said that he would be seeing someone this morning but I'm sure that if you wait he'll be done shortly. Is there anything that I can help you with?"

"Oh no ma'am that's alright it's nothing serious, thank you"

"Alright well you'd best hurry along so you're not late for the train, you do know what the password is don't you?"

"Oh yes thank you ma'am I will"

By the time she arrived outside his office, it was almost lunchtime, she gave the gargoyle the password and was just starting up the stairs when she realised someone was coming down. She moved to step aside and froze when she saw who the figure was.

Severus also spotted her and froze as he felt his heart pounding in his chest, he wanted so badly to say something to her but in the end, all he could manage was "Lily" it came out as a gasp instead of the cold neutral tone that he knew he should have been aiming for as he stared transfixed.

Lily felt her heart catch in her chest. He looked absolutely dreadful and even paler than usual as though he'd just received some bad news and for a minute, she wanted just to hug him and tell him everything would be ok. Then she remembered the last few days and she wasn't sure what to do so she just replied "Severus" in a neutral unfeeling voice, trying to ignore the way that her cold tone appeared to sting him.

The headmaster was standing near his desk as she entered his office, he looked tired but he quickly smiled when he saw who his guest was "ah Miss Evans, come in and take a seat. To what do I owe the pleasure?" he said before conjuring a new tea set "tea?"

"Uh what? Oh no thank you" she said sitting down and politely declining a cup of tea "well you see headmaster it's Severus, I'm worried about him, you see. You see he said something dreadful to me the other day and I was really upset but then he came up to the common room. He tried to apologise and I asked him if he was going to join the Death Eaters and he kept spouting all this nonsense about being forced to join and how he didn't have a choice and we couldn't be friends and just none of it made any sense and I just thought I was worried and maybe you could help"

She paused before she remembered the encounter on the stairs "wait was that why he was here just now was he asking for your help?" She asked, hopefully.

He looked at her thoughtfully seeming to look her up and down and he suddenly looked very old "in a sense, it is complicated and I am not sure how much I can tell you since it is not my story to tell"

"Oh" she said disappointed.

"Allow me to explain, you see much of what your friend shared with me was of a highly sensitive nature and told to me in the strictest confidence between myself and Mr Snape. Much as I would like to help you I also do not wish to betray his trust either"

"Even though I have been his best friend for the past seven years and only have his best interests at heart?" she asked feeling annoyed and a bit put out "can you at least tell me if you know if he's going to join the Death Eaters?"

"I understand your concern and that you are only trying to be a good friend whilst that is also commendable I must insist that you talk to him yourself and allow him to decide how much he wants to tell you, it would be better to hear the full story from him"

He noticed the look of disappointment on her face and sighed, rubbing his brow "what I am about to tell you is strictly confidential. I can not in good conscience repeat much of what we discussed but what I will say is that he has recently received some quite distressing news which has led to him having a change of heart, it appears as though much of what he believed to be true was in fact a lie. I do know that he was being honest when he talked about being forced to join the Death Eaters"

"Oh" she said in shock, thinking about what Remus had observed, it was suddenly beginning to make some sense "ok, thank you headmaster."

"One moment Miss Evans" he said causing her to stop, "do try not to look so down. He told me what he said to you the other day, whilst I do not condone his poor and offensive choice of words I believe he was quite distressed and did not intend to hurt you, I know that he was quite upset and clearly regretted his rash actions. Do not lose hope just yet, he has had a lot to come to terms with, give him time"

She turned to him as something about what he'd said about him being forced to join the Death Eaters struck her "you will try and help you won't you, Sir?" she asked.

"I can assure you that I am doing everything in my power to help him. Now I believe you had best get going if you don't want to miss the train"

She felt a sudden flood of emotions frustration at not being any the wiser and yet relief knowing that whatever Severus may be going through it was reassuring to know that he at least had the headmaster on his side helping and supporting him. "Thank you sir" she replied feeling considerably brighter.