The next few days passed in a blur full of intense training and testing until Dumbledore was satisfied that he was as ready as he could be and consented to him being ready to spy for the Order.

The only trouble was arranging for him to leave the castle to attend his initiation, which was scheduled to take place on the evening of his 17th birthday like some perverse kind of celebration of his coming of age. The difficulty was that the headmaster had been forced to tighten security around the castle and increase the wards due to the worrying increase in the number of Death Eater attacks, which meant it would not be as simple as him just leaving the castle to meet up with the contact who would take him to the secret location at least not without arousing suspicion. To that end, they had come up with a plan that he would claim that he had received a letter from his father saying his health had deteriorated and requested permission for him to come and visit for the weekend. He would be seen having asked the headmaster for permission to leave and would be seen to be leaving for Hogsmeade to catch the early morning train home on Saturday morning and return late on Sunday.

This would leave him with the day free to fill in as he wished in Hogsmeade before meeting the contact who would apparate him to the secret location where he was to be branded.

The day before his birthday, he noticed a message in his journal.

Severus, I know we're not meant to be seen together but I can't let you go off to be branded without seeing you one last time. Meet me inside the room of requirement this evening (I know we have to be thinking the same thing so think about wanting a place for us to be together)

He felt his heart pumping as he read the message, he knew he shouldn't be doing this, he should be focusing on the task at hand but Lily was right he couldn't miss the opportunity to see her one last time not when he didn't know when they'd get the chance to be together, besides he'd been working himself to the bone preparing and he'd have all day tomorrow to prepare himself mentally for what was to come. The only question was how to sneak out without his housemates noticing his absence.

Lily, I'll see what I can do but I may not be able to leave until after curfew to avoid raising suspicion with my dorm mates, wait for me.

He was just writing his reply when a knock came on the door to his dorm. He startled at the noise and hurriedly put the journal away out of sight before going to see who it was. Wearily he opened the door wondering who it was.

He opened the door a crack and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw who it was before schooling his expression "Regulus" he greeted the other boy calmly.

He had been initially wary of the young boy when he'd first started thinking that he might be like his brother. Fortunately, even though they looked very similar with their dark hair and aristocratic good looks, that was where the similarities ended, in fact he'd soon found that the two were as different as chalk and cheese. He was a quiet and reserved boy, intelligent and thoughtful which made a change from the likes of Avery and Mulciber who were cruel but dumb. Over the years they'd struck up a strange sort of friendship and now he found that Regulus was one of the few Slytherins whose company he actually enjoyed.

"Severus, I wondered if I could talk to you?"

"Certainly come on in" he said opening the door and gesturing him in wondering what he wanted and noting how he appeared nervous. He closed the door after him, rewarding the room and casting several privacy charms so they wouldn't be overheard. He sat down on his bed waiting for him to begin while the young man paced in front of him.

"I wanted to ask you something Severus. You see, I heard that you were going to receive the mark" he said looking at him questioningly.

He nodded "that's right" he replied trying to sound calm

Regulus nodded as though he'd just confirmed his suspicions "you see I have heard a lot about him Voldemort that is, my parents, believe that he has the right ideas about purebloods and reforming the wizarding world. I am certain that they want me to join his cause even though they have not said so. They think his cause is a noble and just one. I believed them but now I am hearing things that make me doubt that it is so, I hear about the increasingly violent attacks on muggles, they mirror what is happening here at Hogwarts. I do not want to be a disappointment to my parents, not like my brother, but I can not help but question whether I am making the right decision if I pledge myself to serve this man?"

Severus contemplated what he said for a minute before replying "I see and you are telling me all this why?"

"Severus I have known you since first year, you have always been different from the other's independent, you helped me out when no one else would in spite of how my brother treated you. Perhaps I am foolish to ask this of you given you are to be marked but you have always been honest with me, I trust your judgement I know you will not have made this decision on a whim. I need to hear it from someone else to know if I am doing the right thing. Please tell me are you nervous about being marked? Did you ever doubt that you were making the right decision?" he asked and there was a kind of desperation in his voice as he looked pleadingly at him.

Severus looked at him and then turned away pondering just how much he could tell him. He had always trusted Regulus and it sounded like he had his doubts about Voldemort same as he did, play his cards right and he could have a crucial ally but equally he could hardly reveal himself as a spy.

"You understand the dangers of what you are asking me? If anyone was to learn of this conversation then it could get us both into hot water, I am taking a great risk just by talking to you. I need your word that whatever is said in here never leaves this room"

"Of course Severus, I would not ask this of anyone else, I trust you. You have my word that I will not repeat what is said here to anyone"

Severus acknowledged him before pacing himself aware of eyes upon him, he considered his answer "you ask me if I am nervous, of course, I am nervous. It is not a decision I have made lightly to join him, I have spent a long time thinking about this before deciding to take the mark. I have my reasons for doing so but I am afraid I cannot share them other than to say that I made the best decision for me"

"Even if it means giving up your best friend, the love of your life?" he interrupted and they both knew who he was talking about.

He looked up sharply, glaring at him, he'd overstepped the line but he only glared back at him unwilling to back down "it was because of her that I made my decision, she chose her way. As for what you should do, there is no right or wrong answer, you must do what you believe to be right and not what pleases others. I am sorry I cannot be of more help"

"No, you have been a great help setting my mind at ease. Thank you, Severus, I know you took a great risk talking to me, I just hope I make the right decision" he said smiling.

"You will Regulus, you will make the right decision" he assured him.

"Oh before I forget here, this is for you, happy birthday" he said handing over a small wrapped gift.

"Thank you Regulus, I appreciate it" he said examining it briefly before pocketing it.

He waited impatiently for his housemates to retire for the night before sneaking out and casting a disillusionment charm over himself. Using his finely honed skills as a Slytherin and future spy he moved soundlessly through the darkened corridors, listening intently for any sign of the caretaker Filch and his cat Mrs Norris or one of the teachers patrolling the corridors. He was relieved when he finally made it to the seventh floor where he and Lily had discovered the room of requirement a few years back. He paced nervously back and forth thinking about wanting to be together with Lily without being found out and wondering what kind of surprise she had in mind. On the third round, he turned to find a door had appeared in the wall and he eagerly opened it.

He entered and immediately looked around for her "Lily" he exclaimed as he spotted her waiting nervously. She looked up and glanced round in shock, he quickly realised the problem and cast Finite Incatem himself, ending the disillusionment charm. As soon as she saw him reappear, she rushed over to embrace him.

"Severus, I'm so glad you made it" she said taking his hand. He was about to ask her why she wanted him to meet her when she lead him further into the room "what do you think?" She asked, indicating the room.

He looked up and around the room. There was a cosy fire burning in one corner and a big four-poster bedspread with soft bed sheets in a calming shade of sky blue and plenty of pillows and cushions. The whole room, although sparsely decorated with a few couches and a small table with glasses, drinks and what looked like a muggle record player, exuded an air of calm. It smelled like a summer wildflower meadow and he could hear birdsong faintly in the background.

"What is this?" he asked in confusion as Lily led him over to the bed and patted the edge of it indicating for him to sit down.

"I know we can't exactly be together but I wanted us to be able to at least enjoy one night together before you're initiated into that awful cult. Tonight it's just you and me. So what do you think do you like it?"

"I do, thank you" he said leaning in to kiss her gently.

"I've got a present for you" she said fishing a box out of her robe and handing it to him. He opened it to reveal his treasured pendant

"I know it's not much, but I've spent the past few days working on adding all the protective charms I could think of to it, I consulted Professor Dumbledore and even Professor Flitwick for ideas. I've linked it to my pendant so you've always got a piece of me and I've always got a bit of you with me. You can use it to communicate with me, not anything complicated like the journal but if you need to get in contact with me for any reason just press it and I'll feel it. I've also cast a charm over the pictures so that they won't be visible to anyone else, but you should probably cast a disillusionment and notice me not charm over it before you attend any Death Eater meetings, actually, I should probably do it since I'm familiar with which ones work best" she explained as he examined it with awe.

He slipped it over his neck and allowed her to wave her wand over him while muttering a complex incantation "thank you, Lily, you're amazing" he told her gratefully.

"I've got something for you as well, I was going to wait until your birthday but it's probably safer to give it to you now just in case" he said retrieving the small boxes he'd stashed safely in his robes.

She opened them and gasped in surprise. There was a delicate charm shaped like a water lily on a delicate silver chain, and a thin metal ring cut with an emerald green stone "I know we can't exactly be together and I may never get a chance to propose to you but I wanted you to have something so that you'll always remember how much I love you even when we're apart"

She leaned over and whispered in his ear, he blushed in embarrassment before his mouth opened in an 'o' of understanding and he nodded his agreement.

She discreetly passed him one of the boxes back and he stood up, he paced away for a moment composing himself before returning his intent gaze focused on Lily as he knelt down on one knee.

"Lilly, you are my world, my everything. You mean more to me than words can possibly express. You came to me like an angel, you stole my heart and lit a spark within me that sets it on fire, you are the light that keeps me going when I am consumed in darkness, my rock that gives me strength and keeps me from drowning in despair. I love you forever with all my heart and soul, please will you accept this token of my undying love for you" he said passionately his black eyes never leaving her green eyes before opening the box and presenting it to her.

She smiled apparently pleased before embracing him "oh Severus, of course, I will" she said hugging him before sitting back down and allowing him to place the ring gently on her finger. He removed a small bag from his pocket

"I got a chain for it as well so you could keep it safe and hidden" he explained handing it to her to use later so her friends would not badger her with questions about her mysterious admirer.

She turned to him, "Severus you are my whole world, my enigmatic dark knight in shining black armour, my unsung Prince. You never cease to amaze me with your knowledge, and your capacity to love against all odds. You showed me a whole wonderful world full of magic and enchanted me from the first moment I met you. Will you accept my undying love for you?"

"I accept" he replied and she kissed him passionately. She beckoned him over to the bed with a mischievous smile.

She sensed his unease as they lay in the bed and wondered if he was thinking about tomorrow "nervous?" she asked him with concern.

He turned to her frowning, clearly, he'd been deep in thought before she disturbed him. He relaxed fractionally, smiling slightly at her, he nodded "yeah" he admitted clearly distracted.

"Come here" she said helping strip him of his outer robes, "let me help ease some of that tension" she said seating herself behind him before gently starting to massage his back and shoulders, working out the tensions and knots that had built up there until he began to relax. She encouraged him to lay down on his front as she continued to massage his upper body until she felt the tension leave him.

He began to feel drowsy from the wonderful relaxing massage Lily had given him, who knew she had such talented hands. The next thing he knew he was lying on the bed. Lily was laid next to him and was in the process of running her fingers up and down the lines of his body and over his bare chest as if to memorise every inch of him as though he were the most fascinating thing in the world, he had to admit the feeling was mutual and he felt the overwhelming urge to run his fingers over every feminine curves like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. He was like a dying man and he wanted to drink in every last bit of her, if this was to be his last day of freedom he wanted to commit her to his memory so he would never forget.

Before he knew it, things had moved up a notch and they were lying in bed, she was running her hands up and down his body and exciting him in ways he could never have imagined.

Her mere touch sent him into a state of ecstasy and elicited groans of pleasure from him that he hadn't known were possible, it was like some strange wonderful kind of torture and yet he didn't want her to stop.

He took her and returned the favour gently discovering every inch of her, apparently, she felt the same as he elicited more groans of pleasure from her and then suddenly the two of them seemed to merge and become one.

She wasn't sure how long they had spent that way, two young lovers passionately enjoying each other's company fully for the first time until they both laid back content to enjoy each other's company wrapped together in that warm embrace.

She wasn't sure when she'd drifted to sleep or for how long but now it seemed like early morning with sunlight streaming in from what must be an artificial window as she laid there facing Severus who was still sleeping peacefully. He looked so much more relaxed and innocent in sleep, 17 years of hell sometimes seemed to have aged him before his time, but now he appeared so much younger.

He was not exactly handsome with his bent nose, greasy hair, pale skin and gangly thin frame but then again beauty was more than skin deep, or perhaps there was really something to the whole tall, dark stranger thing she mused.

She ran a finger lightly over his chest tracing the countless scars that littered his torso, no doubt mainly from his muggle father although a few appeared more like curse scars she thought sadly.

No hardly handsome in the conventional sense but there was something about a scarred hero, she thought, as he frowned slightly, mumbling something in his sleep before shifting his position, she put a hand to his cheek, stroking it lightly and he relaxed under her touch a smile gracing his face, no there was nowhere else she'd rather be right now.

She continued her examination of his body, he was still far thinner than he should be but she was pleasantly surprised to see that he'd filled out slightly. He appeared somewhat less gangly as though he'd grown into his body and his chest and arms actually appeared to be toned with some muscle now, no doubt as a result of all the physical training he'd been doing, he was growing up into a man.

True, it was hardly a six-pack like some of the boys sported, but that was fine, she actually found herself preferring his lean finely muscled frame to those idiots who were all muscle and no brain. No, he was not like Potter, constantly bragging and showing off his looks, his hardened physique and long dark hair, thank goodness.

She was still pondering these thoughts when she noticed him begin to stir, slowly he opened his eyes, looking round in bleary confusion before smiling a sleepy, goofy smile at her. She couldn't help but smile as well, it wasn't often she saw this innocent goofy side to him when he didn't have his defences up, hidden behind a cold mask of seriousness or indifference. He looked so innocent and carefree right now, perhaps for the last time, she thought, why did it have to be this way?

"Hey" she said running a finger over his chest.

"Hey" he replied sleepily. They stayed like this for a while just enjoying each other's company until suddenly Severus's face froze as and set in panic as a thought occurred to him "oh no, no this was a bad idea, I've got to go" he suddenly muttered in the manner of someone who'd just remembered he'd left the oven on.

Lily looked at him crestfallen, wondering if she'd done something wrong.

"What time is it?" he asked in a panic, starting to search the bed and gathering his clothes together.

Lily scrabbled searching for her wand before casting a tempus charm "uh 6am, why you don't have to go do you?"

He spun around looking at the numbers that were hanging in the air and back to Lily's upset face "Lily, are you ok?"

"You said this was a bad idea" oh right that he thought mentally slapping himself.

He sat back down on the bed and took her soft hands gently in his own "Lily I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It's just now I've had a taste of this I don't want to leave, I wish I could just stay here and never have to leave"

She looked up at him hopefully "really? It's not because of me?"

"No, you were perfect" he reassured her, too perfect he thought, she let out a sigh of relief.

"You don't really have to leave do you?" she asked concerned.

"No, I guess not, we could have another hour but then I'll have to go and sneak in before the guys wake up and notice I'm not there"

"Well, I guess we'd better make the most of it in that case" she said as he settled back in bed.

An hour passed far too quickly for their liking until suddenly they were disturbed by a bright flash of golden-orange light and they looked up to see the headmaster's familiar Fawkes the phoenix hovering above them.

"Guess that's my alarm call" he said as he reached out to take the small scroll of parchment that the bird offered him. Fawkes alighted on a nearby piece of furniture and leaned his head out, apparently content to allow Severus to stroke him as he preened himself, trilling a light melodic song as he did so.

"What is it?" Lily asked anxious to know what the headmaster might want from him.

"He wants to see me before I go, huh"

"What?"

He held out his hand in response, revealing a magnificent feather of orange and red and glowing a golden hue, it practically glistened with magic and it had been offered to him by Fawkes apparently plucked whilst he was preening himself.

"It's a phoenix feather. They're very rare, very magical, and incredibly valuable in potions. They say phoenix only offers them freely to those who are pure of heart" he said in astonishment and disbelief before turning to the magnificent phoenix, "are you sure you want me to have this?" Fawkes trilled an affirmative. "Thank you" he said stroking the bird, who positively purred in pleasure.

Fawkes cocked his head at him gesturing towards the parchment "oh right, sorry" he said before scrabbling for his book bag and rummaging for a quill and ink and quickly scribbling a reply that he'd come up after breakfast "here" Fawkes trilled his thanks before lifting off.

Severus cast another tempus "I'd better go" he said gathering his clothes and hurriedly dressing.

Lily watched him miserably "I wish you didn't have to do this"

He turned his head to her before dropping "yeah me too"

She stood up "I'm going to miss you" she said before embracing him one last time.

"I'll miss you too" he said before kissing her softly, meeting her lips with his own "no matter what I have to do, the mask I have to wear, that is not the real me, never doubt how much I love you" he said sincerely his eyes soft as she'd ever seen them.

"I know" she reached her hand out to touch his cheek "stay safe, write to me please when it's over so I know you're ok"

He nodded "I will and thank you. I really enjoyed this, but I do have to go now, I'm sorry" he said gathering his things, and with one last pained glance, he took a moment to bury those memories behind his fortified shields and schooled his features to the usual hard mask before he stepped out of her life, perhaps for the last time.

He quickly made his way through the silent castle and slipped in through the empty common room dumping his things on his bed and most of his crumpled uniform in the laundry basket before heading to the showers. By the time he'd quickly washed, the other boys were just stirring. He picked his best muggle clothes to put on since he was meant to be visiting his Dad and put his nicest robes that Lucius had bought him in a small holdall and spent a few extra minutes in front of the mirror making sure he was clean and well-groomed, he wanted to look good without looking as though he'd broken free of the impoverished life Voldemort expected him to have led, of course, a few of the lavish and overtly Slytherin gifts Lucius had sent him may not look out of place for an aspiring Death Eater recruit.

He made his way up to the Great Hall and sat at his customary place at the empty Slytherin table, engrossing himself in a dark arts text. He was soon joined by his year mates Avery, Mulciber, Rosier and Wilkes. They all knew the true purpose of his trip and he opted to ignore them, content to wait for the questioning that was sure to come his way as more students plied in.

"So this is the big day huh? Finally, going to be one of us hey" he said mock punching him on the shoulder.

"Bet you're excited"

"You nervous Snape?"

He snorted of course none of them cared that it was his birthday or that he'd come of age, only that he was getting branded. He gave them his well-practised reply "please, why would I be nervous I've wanted this as long as I can remember, finally I'll get the respect I deserve and be able to fulfil my potential" he said dismissively with a snort of contempt.

"I'm jealous not be getting mine till the summer"

"Yeah, it's a real honour, you know, he's not marking many you know outside of the holidays, not with the new security the old man's put up. He must think you're something special if he's gone to this much trouble to get you out of Hogwarts" an older boy said, the others nodded in their agreement.

The commentary continued in this fashion as he ate with them all commiserating about how they wished they'd be getting marked. He tried to resist the urge to gag or roll his eyes at their fanatical hero worship of the psychopath who was his father. Finally, he excused himself from hearing them sing his praises anymore saying he had to go to catch his train.

When he was certain that he was out of sight of the Great Hall he stealthily made his way up to the headmaster's office and gave the password wondering what he wanted to see him about last minute.

Dumbledore was seated behind his desk as usual, sorting through some paperwork with Fawkes beside him "ah Severus there you are, all ready for the big day, are we?" he greeted him jovially.

"As ready as I'll ever be to hand over my freedom to a madman" he said with a sigh, "you wanted to see me, sir?"

"Ah yes, I'll keep it brief since I know you need to be on your way" he said rummaging behind his desk, "you see I received a rather interesting letter from Mrs Evans the other day. You see she still considers you part of the family but she wasn't sure what would be an appropriate gift for someone who was about to become a young man or how to contact you. She asked me for some advice and she sent this across" he said sliding a wrapped parcel across to him "she and her husband both thought it was important for you to know you were remembered on your birthday and I happen to agree happy birthday Severus" he continued before producing another parcel. "

He gaped at him in disbelief before numbly opening the first parcel to reveal a leather-bound book and a smaller box, he opened it to reveal a finely crafted well-made metal pocket watch. He turned it over to reveal an engraved message on the back To Severus, our son in all but name. You are a fine young man

He was still sharing at it shell-shocked fingering the fine metal finish when Dumbledore continued "I was considering getting you a watch myself since it is a tradition for wizarding parents to give a watch to their child when they come of age and I have come to think of you as my own son but I thought this may be better and have a more significant meaning considering your relationship with the family"

His eyes alighted to the book, he picked it up and opened it and was greeted by a page of photos of him and Lily when they first met. They looked so young there, so happy and innocent. He flipped briefly through the photos, forgetting the time briefly as he saw photos of him and Lily on holidays and day trips by the beach, Christmas, parties and birthdays and the two of them receiving their Hogwarts letters and wearing their uniforms for the first time, there were even moving photos that must have been taken on a wizarding camera.

He was so moved by this gift, it was perfect, just the right combination to celebrate the fact that he was an adult and irrefutable proof to remind him that even in the darkest of times he was loved and that he did have a family who cared about him. He sat there sobered by their kindness

"Severus, what's wrong?"

He looked up to meet concerned blue eyes before averting his gaze, he wasn't worthy of such nice gifts when he was going to become a Death Eater "I don't deserve this. If they knew what I was they would hate me and fear me and they certainly would not want someone like me as their son" he said looking at his hands in his lap.

Dumbledore sighed before composing himself to reply "perhaps but it is not as though you are choosing to join this group willingly. I'm sure that if they understood the full story and knew that you were risking your life to act as a spy for the light in order to keep them safe I'm sure that they would forgive you and think that you were very brave. You should not be so hard on yourself"

Severus nodded resignedly he supposed he did have a point "now then I believe you still have another present to open" he pointed out jovially.

Severus followed his gaze to the second present. He opened it carefully to reveal a beautifully handcrafted wooden box with the Slytherin and Prince crest elegantly carved into the top and sides and a dark pouch made of a smooth material that reminded him of some of the smaller snakes.

"I thought that you may want somewhere secure to store your most prized possessions now. The pouch is made of mokeskin, which means that it can be expanded to fit whatever you need in it and worn about your person and both the box and the pouch have been strongly warded by myself with antitheft charms so that they will only open to your unique magical signature. I have also placed strong disillusionment charms over everything so they will not be noticed whilst on your person"

He looked up at him overwhelmed again by the thoughtfulness of the gift "thank you sir you didn't have to do this"

He stood up, coming round the desk and putting a hand on the young man's shoulder "I wanted to Severus. You see I see all of you students as being a family of sorts even though I have no children of my own, there are some here who I have become quite fond of and I suppose I see you almost like a grandson just as the Evans views you as a surrogate son. Given that I feel it is even more important for me to make up for my past mistakes, this is the least I could do to make amends"

"You are a man now and I am very proud of the young man I see before me who has chosen to fight their planned destiny and follow their own destiny, you are your own man and you are uniquely talented. Remember that and remember that you are a much better, stronger and braver man than your father. I will not delay you any further but know that I have faith in you, my boy and in your abilities" he told him, locking his calm blue eyes with his dark ones and helping settle the sea of nerves that were present in his stomach and below the surface of his mind.

Severus felt moved to hear someone have such confidence in him, it gave him the strength to move forward with their plan to know that the man who he had come to see as a mentor believed in him and saw him as more than just his father's son.

"Thank you, sir, you have no idea how much that means to me" he said sticking the photo album, watch, the pendent, phoenix feather and the two-way journal inside the box and moke skin pouch and sealing it, he stuck it inside his holdall, feeling a pang of loss at removing the precious pendant, but he knew it was for the best in case, somehow saw through all the disillusionment charms.

"I'd better get going" he said turning to the headmaster, who nodded his understanding. Suddenly he remembered last night's meeting with Regulus "oh I almost forgot, Regulus sought me out last night" he looked at the old man and he expressed his interest nodding for him to continue "he expressed doubt about joining Voldemort but is conflicted between his family's beliefs and expectations of him. He asked for my advice, I tried to stay neutral but said he must do what he feels is right"

"I see this is an interesting development. You think he is trustworthy?" he asked his opinion.

"I do, I trust him, I believe he could be a valuable ally"

"I see, I will make sure to talk with him soon then without implicating you"

"Thank you" he looked at the time "I'd better get going"

"Stay safe my boy"

Author's Notes:

So I couldn't really think of much significant to say over the last few chapters and decided to forego any kind of notes. I hope the last few chapters have been ok, I'm not exactly much good at human interaction but decided it may be beneficial to add in Regulus as a minor character who may not be quite as loyal as he appears, hope got the conversation right there, he's kind of relying on Dumbledore to be the one to do the hard sell without revealing his own loyalties. I'm also really not much good at romantic relationships, I'm asexual and apparently, I'm most likely aromantic as well and I try to steer clear of any sexual-type scenes but i thought it was necessary to add in something while skimming over the details, people can gladly fill in the blanks anyway they wish.

As for what Lily whispers to Sev I imagine it's something along the line of 'if you're going to propose to me do it properly and I guess that's kind of what it is even if they can't actually get married they're effectively confirming their love for each other the only way they can and I think that's important, Severus still has people who care about them in spite of everything and that's an essential support system with everything else he has on his shoulders.