AN: This fic was inspired by the movie We Only Know So Much. It loosely follows some of the plot, so if you've seen the movie, don't spoil it for anyone! If you haven't seen it, you should know the plot deals heavily with suicide, so if that triggers you, I suggest you proceed with caution.
Alex straddled Emily's hips, gripping the headboard as she bucked her hips in time with the thrusts of Emily's fingers inside her. "Emily!" she moaned, "Fuck, Em!"
"Alex," Emily murmured, watching the gorgeous woman come undone above her. Her thumb rubbed furiously against Alex's clit as her fingers worked inside her.
Panting as she moved, Alex's eyes fell shut. "God, Em... Oh, God!" She tossed her head back in ecstasy, her thighs trembling with the effort of supporting herself. She cried out as she came, wetness dripping down her thighs and collecting in Emily's palm.
Emily continued slipping her fingers through her wetness until Alex begged her to stop, the overstimulation too much. Emily just laughed breathily, leaning up to press a kiss to Alex's stomach, saying everything in that kiss that she couldn't say with words. For her part, Alex understood perfectly.
She collapsed next to Emily with a contented little sigh and there was a moment of silence that followed as there always was in the aftermath, then she rolled over and snuggled into Emily's side. Pressing a tender kiss to her shoulder, she murmured, "I love you, Emily."
"I know," Emily whispered. "I love you too." She wrapped her arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. She never said it first, always waiting for Alex to initiate the exchange, no matter how much she loved her, no matter how badly she wanted to spend every second of every day telling her.
They weren't supposed to say it, afterall. It had been one of the rules when they'd first started this. But sometimes you couldn't help your heart...a lesson Emily was learning the hard way.
They lay in contented silence, just holding each other, and it was almost as if they could pretend the rest of the world didn't exist, that it was just the two of them. But those moments never lasted forever...
When Alex sighed sadly, Emily knew that meant their time was up.
She knew better than to ask her to stay, no matter how badly she might want to. That was another one of their rules. One they knew better than to break. Because breaking it would only make things that much harder to bear.
"Five more minutes?" Emily murmured, not quite breaking the rules, but bumping up against them. It was getting harder and harder to let her walk out of her life each time. Harder and harder to live without her.
Alex sighed, propped herself up on one elbow, so she could smile down at her, full of quiet apology. "You know I can't, Em..." she whispered, gently stroking a stray lock of hair away from Emily's face.
Emily nodded slowly, sadly. She didn't ask again. Didn't say that nagging little thing that seemed to permanently sit on her tongue these days: Leave him.
She pulled her in for one more kiss.
Alex hummed into the kiss, indulging for a moment, then gently pushing Emily away. "You know that will only lead to me being late." Reluctantly, she climbed out of bed and sought out her clothes.
Emily pulled her knees into her chest, watching Alex with sadness in her eyes.
"Don't," Alex whispered, pulling on her jeans. "Don't look at me like that."
"Like what?"
She smiled softly, but it was hollow. "Like you'll never see me again." With one last kiss, she moved through the house collecting her things, and pausing to scratch Sergio between his ears, making it to her car before Emily called after her.
Emily crossed the few feet from her door, a book in her hands. "This is for you," she said gently, passing it to her. She looked almost nervous, as if Alex might suddenly refuse her affections.
Alex took the book with reverent fingers, glanced up at Emily with awe in her eyes.
"Read it when you're alone," she said.
Alex was kissing her then, arms wrapped around her neck, holding her against her body like her life depended on it.
When she pulled her car to a stop outside her house, she sighed heavily. She couldn't make herself leave the sheltered quiet of her car. Because as soon as she stepped out of the car, reality would come crashing down around her and she would be forced back to a life without Emily in it. A life she was less and less certain she wanted to live.
Life with Emily was simpler, was easier. Life with Emily made sense in a way her real life didn't. Life with Emily felt right. And every moment of every day, there was a little part of her that wanted to get back in her car and drive off into the sunset with Emily at her side and never ever look back.
But she knew she couldn't sit in her car forever, so reluctantly, she made her way back to reality.
When she opened the door, it was as if she'd never left. James was making coffee, dressed for work. Her mother sat at the kitchen table, picking at her breakfast. An empty chair sat waiting, deliberate and solemn.
"Morning," James greeted as if he'd barely registered her absence. He leaned in for a kiss that she had no choice but to give lest she rouse suspicion. She could only hope that the taste of Emily's lips didn't linger.
She set the groceries she'd stopped for on the counter so she could turn her back and hide whatever it was that crossed her face. "Mom, I stopped and got you more oatmeal," she said. "I know it stays down better, Do you want me to make you some?"
"You needn't go to any trouble," she insisted, even though she hadn't touched the toast in front of her.
Alex turned, gave her a gentle smile. "It's no trouble, Mom." She proceeded to boil water for the oatmeal. "James, what time will you be home? I've got book club today and..."
"There's nothing about book club on the calendar," James replied, gulping back a sip of coffee.
Heaving a frustrated sigh, she crossed the room, writing BOOK CLUB on the calendar with deliberate pen strokes.
