"Hey Chomusuke, have you been good?"

She took one sniff of Megumin's hand, the strange colored blood, which had dried and caked all over, caused the feline to scurry away for safety.

"Heh, guess that shows where her allegiance lies, in hygiene."

Kazuma teased, walking past his depressed friend. He was stopped as a hand tugged back at his cloak.

"Where do you think you're going?" Megumin asked with a low tone.

"Where do you think? To wash this crap off me."

"Now hold on, shouldn't you be striving to be a gentleman for me?"

"Why would I do that? Pretty convenient that now of all times is when you wanna be bringing up gender roles don't you think?"

"Who cares about that, just let me wash up, unlike you, i'm not into blood."

"This gross ass spider muck can't even be compared to-" Kazuma didn't bother finishing the sentence before taking off into a full sprint for the bath, getting fingers in his face and eyes as he and the crimson demon battled it out to reach the end first.

"My hand's already on the doorknob I practically won!"

"Won!? This ain't over till it's over!" She replied, grabbing onto his limbs for dear life.

"You're acting awfully touchy all of a sudden! Maybe I should sweeten the deal!"

Megumin's grip on his blouse loosed as her body flew back, shirt still in hand.

"W-what are you-"

"I'm getting in the bath one way or another. So if you stick around, get ready for an eyeful!"

Megumin froze up, becoming more and more embarrassed as her flustered state became as clear as day. It was when she noticed Kazuma's similar state that she knew exactly how to bite back.

"You might talk loud, but you're blushing up a storm." Megumin noted, despite the bravado, her party leader was just as flustered as she was.

'What the hell? Am I shaking slightly?'

"Now its my turn to attack!" She said as she gracefully removed her cape and tossed it to the side.

"Now what?"

"Since you want to play this game of chicken, I have no option but to undress and join you in the bath!"

"Well, y-yeah that works."

"Huh!? But- I mean- Shouldn't you be all shy about this type of stuff and politely let me go first?"

"That trope is way too overplayed, i'm rewriting the script here and now! And besides, technically it would be best if we went together. You know, to save on time and stuff. Unless of course you are a chicken."

"What was that?"

"You heard me."

"Nobody, calls me, chicken. You think I don't want this do you!? I'll show you!" Megumin punctuated her point by undoing her waist belt and slamming it on the ground before leaping at the young vampire.

"H-hold up what was that first thing you sa- Agh! Let go of my boxers you perv! I'm not ready for this yeeeet!"

"Oh shut it and get in!"


Kazuma couldn't be more at ease as the water dealt with all the grime he was covered in just moments ago, leaving him sitting in peace. He peeked at Megumin doing the same.

'Like that's actually covering anything worth mentioning'

Despite their earlier words, Megumin still opted to wrap a small towel over her chest for her sake.

"Hey, Megumin."

"Hm?"

"That girl, she gonna be okay? She ran away crying."

"Oh, she'll be fine. She's my rival after all."

"Heh, well I definitely know who wins out in the looks department."

"Huh?"

"Well you know, I was just thinking, you're a lot prettier than her."

Megumin's mind stuttered for a few moments, before crossing her arms as she fought down the tough grin from her face.

"Yeah well, I am the best of the crimson demon clan after all." She then splashed the water in Kazuma's face.

"Agh! Hey what the-?"

"That's me saying thank you."

Wiping the water from his eyes, Kazuma decided to play along.

"Your water explosion is weak, this is the true might of a vampire!"

Splash

"Ah! My hair was starting to dry up you! Take that!"

Splash

"Cursed waterfall!"

Both pair of 'demons' laughed as they made a mess of things, driving off Chomusuke in the process as water found its way all throughout the bath.

"Cannon Bomb!!"

"Wait Megu-"

Getting to her feet, she made a small hop before crashing her body into the center of the bath, drenching the already quite wet Kazuma.

"So, how'd you like the ultimate move of a crimson demon?" She stood tall and proud at her seemingly defeated bathtime foe.

"I uh- t- I- M-Megumin?"

"Find yourself speechless? I shouldn't be surprised by your gawking stare, on land or in water, my skills are second to none!" Hands on her hips, her eye shined its crimson across the water.

"Megumin, y-your towel." Kazuma said, now holding one hand over his eyes.

Megumin saw the direction of his point and looked down, to her horror realizing that both towels unwrapped themselves when she rose from the water. Causing her to jerk her hands to cover her more sensitive areas in reaction.

"Y-you perv! You were staring for like ten seconds! How dare you gaze on my naked body I should blow you up right here and now!"

"How is it my fault!? I tried to stop you in the first place!"

"Yeah well!...You owe me something!"

"What!? Owe you!? Owe you what!?"

"I don't know, I can't let you see me like that without something in return and that's final."

Kazuma noticed how flustered and bothered she was, mouth quivering in embarrassment.

He sighed, easing back to the edges of the bath.

"Alright fine. Just, let me know when you think of something."

"Hmph." Towels reattached, Megumin turned her back to stare off into nothing in particular.

"Yo."

"What?" She answered nonchalantly.

"Be honest, do you think that we'll actually save the world. Ya know, track down this 'god killer' and all that."

"I'm going to be honest, if you asked me that in the weeks I first joined the party, I would have said no. But you have a pretty strong power, almost as strong as mine."

'Uhuh'

"If we can defeat the destroyer, I think we can handle it no problem."

"What about your family? The crimson demons, you once told me that they were all strong mages right? Sena, that prosecutor, told me there was an attack on the village just a couple years ago."

"Yeah, I got a letter that told me all about it. Whoever led the attack was apparently really attractive, so they decided to make a bunch of merchandise of her. So that should tell you everything you need to know about how useful they'd be in actually putting a stop to things."

"Merchandise? Like action figures?"

"Some of the girls in the academy make money drawing fanart of her. I still have one stowed around somewhere."

'Who created this clan? Some weeb from America? An Otaku from Japan?'

He sighed at the uselessness of the world around him. He'll have to do it himself as always in his mind.

"Hey Kazuma?"

"Yeah?" He noticed that by now she no longer had her back turned on him, instead looking over at him with some curiosity.

"You can't feel this, can you? The heat, I mean."

"Nah. No matter how hot this water got, I wouldn't feel it. I think I can register that it's hotter than normal, but not the way you do."

"Then, you're still cold, or you would feel cold, even in this, right?"

"Well, I imagine yea."

"Then that's what you owe me."

"Huh?"

"You owe me by not complaining or being weird when I do this alright?"

Kazuma was increasingly nervous at the redness in her cheeks. What could she possible mean?

"Do what?"

"I'm just curious is all."

Megumin slowly waded over to sit next to him.

'I don't know if I like where this is going or not!'

She looked down somewhere at his body, though he couldn't tell at what exactly.

"So don't say anything weird alright? And don't tell the other girls."

'Oh god'

"I'm just gonna-"

'Oh god!'

"-grab onto-"

'Mom, dad, your son is gonna become a man…WAIT I'M NOT A LOLICON!'

"-your hand."

With only a moment of waiting, she firmly grasped onto Kazuma's hand, nearly letting go at the sudden change in temperature as she did so. It was too strange to believe, something being cold to the touch, within a hot bath.

Though taken aback by what she actually meant, he still felt himself a little emotionally compromised, as they sat side by side holding hands. In a way, this was almost even more surprising for him.

"It feels the same as my cold feet in winter…"

"Never compare to my hand to your feet again. If it's that uncomfortable then-"

"No!..I mean uh, no it's fine. I just thought it was weird."

'Vampires were huge back on earth. It felt like everyone had their own idea of how this shit was supposed to work. But it's like my body is perpetually the same, no matter what. I bet I'd still be cold if I was on fire…'

"Megumin, did you know food I eat doesn't feel cold either? I know I don't really eat anymore, but sometimes its nice. I just never thought the vampirism would change so much of small things I used to enjoy."

"You only eat when you forget to take your blood. I remember once you forgot for like a whole day. And I thought you were weird now."

"Yeah I'm weird. Not you sitting here holding my hand like this."

"H-huh!?" Megumin completely forgot it was supposed to be a quick feel, instead she had sat there and legitimately held hands with the guy for a solid minute or two.

She snatched her hand back and scooted a few feet in embarrassment.

"You say that now? This is all your fault, you should have just come to your senses earlier."

"Hey don't look at me, I'm not regretting this."

'What am I saying?'

"You call me weird yet you make it sound like you enjoy all this." Megumin said, looking away as she continued to blush.

"Well, yeah kinda."

The two didn't know how to continue from there, sitting only a couple feet away from each other in complete silence.

"Hhheeeeeyyyy! Kazuma!? Megumin!? Anyone home!?" Called out their archpriest.

Both mentally sighed in relief for a few moments, letting a breath out with the break of the tension, however-

"Wait! If Aqua sees us like this she'll get the wrong idea!" Cried Megumin.

"Hellooo! Are you two in the bath!?"

"Oh no she won't!" Kazuma rushed out the water and into the changing corridor. With only the tiniest of effort, a large blockade of hardened blood covered the door, blocking any attempt at entry.

"If she came in now she'd tell Darkness, the whole town, and then what!? I'd never live it down!"

"Phew, I was a bit worried for a second there."

"...I can hear the two of you through this you know?"

"GK!"

"AH!"


Aqua and Megumin ate in silence, the latter with her iconic hat pulled low to cover most of her face. Kazuma simply tapped his fingers on the table impatiently as he waited for them to finish up.

"Pedoneet."

'GOD DAMNIT!'


'The next day, the three of us took a stroll to Wiz's shop, hoping to find something that could make Aqua's life easier on this special mission she keeps going on about, except when we got there…'

"Yo Wiz, you wouldn't happen to-"

"...Yunyun?" Megumin asked, in as unimpressed a tone of voice as possible.

"Oh yes, Yunyun's been wai-"

"Megumin! What a coincidence that my rival would come here of all places! Fate has a way of being strange huh?"

'Yeah I believe this was a coincidence as much as the idea of Megumin matching your figure'

Aqua ignored the three as before and began to look for something specific. What that was, she didn't rightly know. Though something useful nonetheless. Yesterday, while out on the town, she was approached at the guild, apparently a party had wiped out exploring a new section of a dungeon. A high number of undead was reported, meaning this was just the job for an undead hating archpriest.

The only problem was that if she did this, she would have to do it alone. Megumin is all but useless in dungeons, and with Kazuma it doesn't even need mentioning that being near her when using holy magic could be fatal in close quarters.

And so here she was seeing what kinds of support items could make life easier. Although this looked more interesting for the goddess at the moment.

"Hey guys look! Maybe this is what you guys need! It says it's called a friendship crystal."

Pulling the arguing girls out of their conversation, Aqua pointed at a crystal ball rested upon a small pillow.

"Ah yes, but only a skilled magic user can activate it." Wiz explained.

"Wait, you mean if someone uses that crystal they can make friends!?" Yunyun asked, sounding far too excited for it not to be sad.

"That's correct! I have an idea, how about you two try it out?"

"I don't know, I don't really need more friends."

"You're not chicken are you?" Yunyun mocked.

"Oh now its on!"

"That's right, whoever can use the crystal more effectively is the better archmage! That's my challenge!"

"Very well, I accept!"

'So if Megumin uses this thing, she'll make more friends? Hm'

"I'm ending this rivalry once and for all!"

With controlled shouts, both girls began to pour in magic energy, lighting the orb in a deep purple, the ball fizzling with black bolts that danced around the room.

"I can't believe it, they're activating it! That's the crimson demon clan for you!"

Suddenly the group were enveloped in an illusion of sorts, an endless dark domain, and from it opened up dozens upon dozens of 'windows'. Each one displaying some sort of event.

'Wait, these are!'

Kazuma looked closely at one, it showed what looked to be a younger Megumin, tip toeing into some business before taking as much as she could, stuffing her mouth in the process.

'Guess she was telling the truth when she said she would often steal for food'

In fact, it seemed like most if not all of these memory windows displaying Megumin, had to do with her starving, stealing, or scraping by. In one, he watched as another party had left Megumin behind after deciding she wasn't worth it. Without a cut, she sat on a bench alone and held her stomach tight.

He could feel it, while before this would have given him a sense of second hand embarrassment, or at least some form of sympathy, he only felt himself getting mad? Whatever the case this didn't feel good at all. Many thoughts entered his head, was this town and these people really going to let a little girl starve? Did they care at all?

Did you? I've watched from the very beginning. You would have left her behind, just as the others did

'You. Why are you here NOW?! You've been silent all day'

My purpose here is to guide you in the direction I see fit. But you are growing, and you've showed me that you are not as unprepared as I perhaps thought

'Are you saying you'll leave me alone?'

I'm saying that if there is no reason for me to interfere with you, then why interfere? However your mind works in such interesting ways, I can't help but challenge your view of this world, and yourself at times

"WAAAAAAA!"

'What the hell!?'

Kazuma was brought back to reality by an angry shriek as Megumin hoisted the orb above her head and smashed it with all her might.


"Don't uh, worry about it Wiz I'll pay for it." When Wiz tried to hand him the crushed up bits of the orb he politely refused.

"I don't know why you have to pay for it when it was her idea to use it in the first place. And can you stop mumbling to yourself!?" Megumin shouted.

"But who won!? There wasn't a winner! How about we call this a draw?"

"Hmph, like usual you act so immature when it comes to such childish things."

"Huh? Oh you want to talk about mature? Alright then, remember when we used to talk about who would grow faster? Let's see just how mature you've become!"

"Oh you innocent child, that's not what I meant."

"Huh?"

"That's right Yunyun, you see." She only struggled slightly to get the next bit out.

"Me and Kazuma, well, we're in the type of relationship where he's seen me fully naked, and I mean fully naked."

Kazuma's soul just about left his body as he froze, unable to stop the events that play out before him. Even Wiz was now listening in on this.

"H-HUH!?"

"That's right, we even take baths together. And get this-" Megumin now closed the distance, whispering in Yunyun's ear as Kazuma mentally screamed.

"We even get handsy in the bath, if you know what I mean."

"A- A- AHHHH! YOU WIN THIS TIME OKAY!? YOU WIIIIN!" She cried out as she ran from the store full of tears.

"That girl has issues."

"AND WE DON'T!?"

"Victory is mine again!" Megumin said to herself, smiling with a reddened face that could give off steam