Blasting music and bodies griding against each other surrounded Gray from all directions but he could not care about anything around him. He was sitting gloomily on a stall at the dark corner of the bar he chose for that night. Beside him was Natsu who was the appointed chaperone for that time. He was just quietly sitting there watching him. The pinkete tried talking to him at first but Gray just won't listen.
It's been days since he met Juvia's husband and it's been as long since he started a new routine of drowning his thoughts in liquor. At first his friends were trying to stop him from his daily goal of drinking his sorrow to oblivion and told him that whatever happened between him and Juvia, they should talk it out.
But what's there to talk about?
Even if they talk, it won't change the fact that she is married, and he is the third party destroying a matrimony.
There's nothing he could do to change that aside from trying to dull the damn ache in his chest with countless bottle of whisky – or whatever liquor is available.
He knew it's not a good thing to be drunk all the time but when he was sober all he could think of was Juvia.
Gray angrily chug down his drink straight from the bottle when his thoughts wandered back to the woman he was trying to forget.
Damn!
Even in his intoxicated state he could still see her in his mind.
He could remember her smiling at him, talking and laughing with him.
Fuck it all!
They used to be so happy. He's not an emotional guy and he's not one to be too attached to anyone but Juvia made him feel a lot of things that he could only feel with her. She's someone who could make him feel so alive but now he could feel nothing.
He's not necessarily sad about how things turned out between the two of them. It's just that he felt so empty without her and he's miserable because there's nothing he could do because he has no right to have her.
To be honest, he knew that there's more to Juvia's situation than what it seemed to be in the surface. Jeez, she was a virgin when he had her. Even if she's married, there was something about her marriage that wasn't right. Had she told him about it before, he could have done something. But why did she hide it from him?
Didn't she trust him?
At first, he was hurt because she wasn't honest. His ego was bruised knowing that another man is out there staking his claim to the woman whom he thought was his. But at the end of the day, it all came down to one undeniable fact that she's not confident enough to share her secrets with him.
Don't they have feelings for each other?
Didn't he show enough care?
Yes, she lied by not telling him the entire truth but was he really not at fault, too?
Was his love for her not enough?
What happened to the fire they had for each other? Was the flame too much that it burned them apart?
He used to think that she was an entire ocean that could drown him and now he's really drowning with no way out.
His thoughts were disrupted when the cellphone he put down on the bar counter started vibrating. He put it on mute so he wouldn't hear it ring non-stop but now he could feel it. The feel of vibration was like a punch in the gut because he knew who was calling.
Gray wasn't sure if he's ready to talk to Juvia again, so he just stared at her name flashing on the screen until it stopped.
Natsu who was watching him could see how conflicted he was. "Look G—"
"Shut up!" Gray snarled. He didn't need his friend to say anything like he should talk to her or whatever.
He knew he's drunk. Talking to Juvia at his state might do more damage than fix things between them.
The pink haired man's face scrunched up. "I haven't said anything yet!" he exclaimed but it fell on deaf ears.
Gray was busy again nursing some rum straight from the bottle. He couldn't be bothered with a shot glass as he wallowed in his misery.
ΩΩΩ
Juvia sighed when her call got disconnected after ringing for a long time without answer.
It's almost a week since she last saw Gray and they haven't talk yet. She tried going to his place but he's always out or when he's not, he refused to see her. She tried calling him a lot of time, but he never answered.
She just wanted to talk to him. To tell him everything.
Sting already left Magnolia to settle their divorce. In a matter of time, she would be free again to be with Gray without committing sin in the eyes of the society. But when that happened, would she still have Gray?
It's all her fault, she knew that. But thinking about losing him is scaring the hell out of her. Wasn't that the reason why she didn't tell him? She was afraid that she might lose him, or he might lose his interest towards her.
Before her thoughts could go wild, the device she's clutching in her hand suddenly made a sound indicating she got a new notification. It's a message from Natsu.
He's with me at Hell's Core.
Juvia stared on the content of the message for a few seconds. She was quite surprised that Natsu was telling her where to find Gray.
She learned that their friends knew her circumstances now because they squeezed the truth out of Levy when Gray got drunk the day he discovered the truth. Poor Levy was thrown into interrogation after Gray told their friends to ask the tiny bluenette for answer if they want one. Levy then called her and told her what happened with their friends.
Juvia was expecting them to demand explanation, but they never did.
But they didn't talk to her either.
It's like they don't wanna meddle. But she knew they were waiting for her to talk first.
So, it's a surprise that Natsu took the initiative to inform her where is Gray.
Without second thought, she quickly grabbed her coat and went out of her room.
It's already late and she's not expecting the other girls occupying the dorm to be still up but when she went down to the common room, she saw Erza talking with Cana.
For a moment she was dumbfounded, not knowing how to face them. It was Erza who talked first. "Going out to see Gray?"
"Y-yeah."
"About damn time!" Cana exclaimed with mockery written all over her face. She knew they were among the closest to Gray and she could understand if they hated her.
Erza sighed and put down the small plate of strawberry shortcake she was holding on the table. "We won't pry with your affairs, but just make sure to sort things out with Gray," she seriously said.
Cana grimaced when she heard it. "They won't but I will," she exclaimed. "Tell me honestly. Are you going to divorce that husband of yours from nowhere or are you going to end things with Gray?"
"Cana!" Erza hissed indignantly. The gang already talked that they won't meddle, but Cana just can't stop being nosy.
"What? I just wanna know! I'm not trying to be a bitch here. I actually like Juvia for Gray, but her being married won't do!"
"I already signed the divorce paper," Juvia said before Erza could refute Cana's words and the both of them looked at her with astonishment evident on their faces.
"Seriously?"
"That was fast," Cana grinned. "I won't ask for details that Levy didn't provide. I just want you to go hurry up and drag Gray out of the bar because he's so close into breaking my drinking record. You two fix things up, but if he won't listen to you just bang him good 'til he can't think straight anymore."
"Cana!"
The brunette's laugher filled the room as Juvia and Erza's face turned as red as the former's hair. "Oh, come on. Don't be such a prude. Who doesn't know that the two of them fu-"
"I'm leaving now!"
Juvia could still hear Cana's laugher even outside Fairy Hills and she's still embarrassed but she's glad that they don't hate her, and they didn't judge her.
Now, she should really have a talk with Gray.
