MASS EFFECT: CHASM
CHAPTER 3
Kaidan sat there in his chair with his hands clasped just below his spread legs. His mocha- colored eyes stared at the metal flooring as his entire body felt like it was engulfed by a mass effect field. Everyone else disbanded after the dismissal from the debrief. Normally, Shepard would linger to strike up a chat to relieve the stress of deadly combat. This time, it was different. She was not there. In fact, she was the first one to exit the conference room and the meeting lasted quicker than the rest. They had their first big hit to the team. A grim reminder of the reality of what was to come the further they pursued Saren. An Alliance soldier doesn't fear death and they are all expendable, but no one liked losing one of their own, especially someone under their own command. Zalena experienced this by the thresher maw attack on her team years ago. Her survival encompassed medals of honor and recognition speeches from the Alliance, but still the event was noted in her personnel record. It was no secret and Alenko couldn't even fathom what she endured during the attack. They encountered their first maw on a mission for Admiral Kohaku. Something else that Alenko wanted to discuss further with her. They took the maw hit with several blasts from the Mako's canon, but not after losing more than half of their shields. Alarms were blaring and smoke started to seep into the cabin.
Chief Gunnery Ashley Williams was a damn good soldier. Tough. Lost her entire team on Eden Prime from the Geth attack. An excellent marksman and her wittiness usually packed a punch; especially against the aliens. Despite her distrust for them on the Normandy after leaving the Citadel to pursue the rogue spectre, over time, she began to trust the ones onboard as a squad. She changed. Alenko never pointed it out to her. He didn't have to. She admitted it to him and Shepard.
The scenes of what transpired down on Virmire unfolded inside his head. He took the responsibility of arming the nuke and setting it up. They were going to blow the krogan facility to hell along with the other travesties that Saren concocted. Victory was in their grasp. Until a distress call came in over the comms from Ashley and her team of STG members. They were heftily outnumbered and were not going to hold out much longer. The geth swarmed over them like stirred up bees. Kaidan assured Zalena that he could finish up the final touches on the bomb and told her to go save Ash and Kirrahe's men. A few minutes after she left, a geth dropship landed over his area and they were sending in reinforcements. It was hard to tell just how many were onboard the vessel. Shepard already saw the ship inbound and radioed him. He couldn't hold them off for too long, but figured with the countdown, he could make ten minutes. Enough time to get Shepard and her team with Ash and out from the blast zone. He would be vaporized, but at least he wouldn't suffer. He would make the ultimate sacrifice and not just as his duty as a soldier, but to everyone who was targeted by Saren and for the love of his life: Zalena Shepard. Realizing that it may be his last transmission, he decided to break regs and confess his feelings. "Go get Ash! It's the right thing to do," His voice strained as his heart pounded as he checked his rounds. "Shepard, I love you." He silenced his radio as he began to choke up. His eyes narrowed at the approaching geth. Aiming his pistol, he shot one in the head as he dove behind the nuke to use it as somewhat protection against their relentless fire. He just prayed that their hitting the device wouldn't instantly trigger the detonation. Shepard had to live. At all costs. Moments later, Shepard, Wrex and Garrus ran in with guns blazing against the onslaught. His sudden saviors surprised and yet angered him all at once. If she was here, then that meant Ash was left behind. He cursed himself. "Shepard! Go get, Ash!" His screamed over the gunfire exchange, but it fell on deaf ears. Then the whirring engine of a hover platform added to the cacophony. Saren arrived.
Kaidan clamped his eyes closed tightly as his fists curled up. All he could see was Ash and her team holding their own and then being vaporized. He was selfish. It should have been him. Did Shepard exhibit feelings towards him? Did that influence her decision? The conclusion was farfetched based upon her personality and devotion to getting the mission done. Yet, would fraternization alter course? There were no harsh words towards her choice from the squadmates. Wrex and Garrus heard his words and their eyes didn't judge him. Forcing himself to stand up from his seat, he moved in stride out of the conference room to the CIC. Navigator Pressly gave him a silent nod to acknowledge his presence, then returned to the screen in front of him. Kaidan turned to his right and exited through the doors to head down to the crew quarters. He needed to see her. The confrontation between Urdnot Wrex and Shepard moved in on his mind. He and Ash stood back as Zalena went to speak with their upset comrade. Wrex was somewhat moved by the news that Saren constructed a facility on Virmire and was somehow breeding krogan. The terminology was almost non-existent to the somewhat neutered race. After the genophage implementation by the salarians and turians, most krogan children were stillborn. A glimmer of hope was on the horizon and Wrex didn't like the idea that the Salarian Special Task Group was there on the planet to halt operations and destroy the facility. Shepard advised Major Kirrahe, that she and her team would assist to take down the monstrosity. That didn't bode to well with Wrex. In a rage, he stomped off and no one dared to look him in the eye. Sporadic shotgun blasts could be heard as he fired at an invisible target. With each blast, the salarians jumped, frightened that he would turn his wrath on them. The major urged Shepard to diffuse the situation. A risky notion. It was never ever wise to approach or try to even talk to a pissed off krogan. Especially, a battlemaster. Kaidan bit his tongue and stood stiff next to Ash as he tried not to let on his fear of Shepard getting blasted point blank. He wanted to be at her side and protect her. Though, if Wrex was approached by more than one person, he may feel more threatened.
Somehow, someway, Zalena made the burly battlemaster listen to reason and he stood down. The krogan that were being bred at the facility were only tools for Saren. Nothing more. Not true krogan at all. Kaidan speculated if he was in her position, would the outcome be the same? He paused at her door, hesitating on whether to enter or not. Did he have what it took to be a spectre himself some day? If the prerequisite was to calm down a mad krogan, probably not. He lacked the composure that Shepard did.
Then there was another problem on Virmire besides the fake krogan. It was the tests that Saren was doing on the captured salarian STG prisoners. He was brainwashing them. Some were hysterical, talking about voices, while others were mindless zombies; almost like husks without the wired endoskeleton. Matriarch Benezia told Shepard about hearing whispers while around Saren and how her mind was no longer her own. As powerful as an asari that she was, she could not stop whatever had taken hold of her. Rana Thanoptis at the facility explained to the squad about Saren's plan on learning more about indoctrination. Could Saren have such a deadly power? How could he? Kaidan never heard of the geth having this kind of ability and none of the colonists on Eden Prime exhibited the same type of behavior. Could someone fall into a chasm of their own mind to where they are a puppet? Saren wasn't even on Noveria when they met Benezia. How could his reach be so extensive? Nothing was making sense. He wanted to run all this by Ash so badly. He couldn't bear to see her empty workstation down near their lockers. All of these unknowns were making him worry for Shepard. Could Saren get hold of her mind somehow? How would he know? Taking a breath, he pressed the chime outside the door of her personal cabin.
"It's open," Shepard called in from the other side.
The door whooshed to the side to allow him entrance. He instantly saw the dark-skinned woman sitting behind her desk listening to a recorded message on her terminal. Seeing her brow narrowed while deep in thought, he stood dutifully at the doorway. "We at Cerberus are very disappointed in your actions, Shepard," The male voice played over the recording. Obviously altered by high-dollar software to hide their true identity. "We believed that you would defend humanity. You take aliens on your ship and make unprovoked attacks at our facilities. We will be keeping a close eye on you."
Turning off her monitor screen, she turned her chair to look at him directly. "Humanity," She scoffed at their remarks. "After what they did to Admiral Kohaku, they expect me to just ignore that…." A bitter taste in her mouth. They met the admiral at the Council Chambers an hour after her inauguration into the state of spectre. Kohaku was concerned about marines that went missing. He couldn't get anyone of the Alliance to look into it since they didn't have the manpower. The older gentleman believed that there was more going on behind their disappearance. Unfortunately, there was. Cerberus was behind all of it and Kohaku found himself a fatal victim of their tests. His lifeless body surrounded by a swarm of rachni. His skin riddled with track marks. Countless injections of an unknown mixture were given to him. Hopefully, whatever it was, killed him before the alien insects began to feed on his flesh. The Cerberus scientists and agents were watching the spectacle almost in amusement by what they did as Shepard and her team came upon them. Her anger expressed by the barrage of rounds she put into each of them from her assault rifle.
"Cerberus," Kaidan hissed. The word rolling off his tongue like bile. He was there when Kohaku was found. "They think a threatening message will make us support them?"
"No," Shepard shook her head. "Just wanted to remind me who all was watching. I will make sure my report is sent directly to Admiral Hackett. This doesn't need to get missed by the channels."
"You think the Alliance will do anything about it?" Alenko was a bit skeptic when it came to their employer's follow-up. With colonies constantly being raided by batarian slavers and now the Geth, the Alliance was getting stretched thin. An admiral who became vigilante and died may not be on their priority list. They both knew that. Hackett could spark some type of influence and Zalena was hoping for the same. Cerberus was very well hidden and their members were off the grid. It would take a lot of resources to track any of them down and getting to the top was unattainable. Knocking out a few cells would be like a flea bite to a threshermaw. An annoyance, but not painful at all.
The look of determination of Shepard's face remained. "After Saren, I'll make sure to look more into this. They are not going to erase Kohaku. Cerberus will go down."
Kaidan nodded his head, "And since you're a spectre, I'm sure you have some pull with the Council on that one. More than the Alliance."
Exhaling, Shepard pushed her seat back from the desk. Her demeanor quickly changed to a more relaxed state. "You wanted to see me, Staff Lieutenant?"
Kaidan stepped forward to where he was only two feet away from the edge of her desk. He squared his shoulders back. His eyes looked straight ahead, but not at her. "I wanted to talk about what happened down on Virmire, mam."
"At ease, soldier," Shepard sighed. "You know you can speak with me candidly."
He relaxed his stance and this time met her eyes. She was so beautiful. He felt his heart racing as his words try to lose him. "I know we are all soldiers and we are all expendable. Ash was one of the best."
"You think I should have chosen you instead of her," Zalena simply stated, finishing up his dialogue. She was already ready for this conversation. The debate played in her head over and over as she even questioned her choice. It was a split-second decision and it wasn't like she didn't make them before. "Why you?" She decided to turn the tables to hear him out.
Alenko was not prepared for this and he
struggled for a response. "I, uh, it just should have been me. Ashley was a far better soldier than- "
"Cut it, Lieutenant," Shepard stopped him as she stood up from her chair. Seeing her rise made him retract to his militaristic stance. "I didn't choose Ashley because I believed she was weaker than you. You are all good soldiers. The mission was to destroy that base at any cost. The bomb had to go off. You were there. Case in point."
"Understood, mam." Kaidan avoided her gaze. He was hurt. She could tell. Not the answer he wanted to hear.
The room grew silent as Shepard thought over another truth to the situation. There was more to it and guilt washed over her. Seeing the man in front of her made it hit her hard like a concussive round to her armor plating. She had feelings for him and she couldn't bear the thought of losing him. Having him at her side during the past few embarkments made the affection for him grow. She tried to suppress it, knowing that it could cloud her judgment. Would she be so selfish in letting someone die just for her to keep her love interest? No, she wasn't like that. Kirrahe had only kind words for Williams' sacrifice and his men on the planet. No one challenged her decision. It was a tough call. In fact, it boiled down to the fact that Williams was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Stepping out from her desk, she approached him. "If you were with the salarians, then it would have been you, Kaidan" Her voice softened. "Without hesitation..." She let the words linger a bit longer in the air for a few seconds, before she continued, "Though, it would be damn hard on me. Harder than it is now."
Kaidan swallowed with her approach. "It would be an honor to give my life if needed, mam."
"Not yet, soldier," She cracked a smile at him. This threw him off and he smiled back. "I need you around longer."
Her unspoken gesture made him reach out and gently take her hands in his. He squeezed her fingertips lightly and made the grip more once he realized that she was not pulling away. "Am I overstepping my bounds, mam?"
"Not at all," Zalena cooed as she leaned over and gently kissed him on the cheek. "I always need you at my side, Alenko."
He sighed softly by the smell of her fragrance as she drew near. Taking her hand in closer, he held it to his chest and looked deeply in her eyes. "I've got your six."
"Good to hear it," She leaned in and kissed him very softly. "Keep it on the down-low for now."
"Aye, Aye, mam."
