Harry Potter yawned as he snuggled deeper into his bedroom at the Leaky Cauldron. He had spent yesterday morning causing trouble all over Diagon Alley. Smashing windows in Knockturn Alley, eating ice cream at Fortescue's ice cream parlor, and hitting on every girl that came within six feet of him. This summer vacation was wonderful.

At least it was, until the door to his room was blasted open.

"Why is your homework not finished?"

Harry groaned and rolled over on his stomach as Hermione leered down at him.

"You've read more manga in the past week than your new school books!" She hissed. She held up a copy of Spy X Family Volume 3. "I'll be confiscating this until further notice!"

"Go ahead, I finished it already." Harry yawned.

"You just bought the first volume yesterday!"

"Yeah, it's really good. Buzz off."

"Bathilda Bagshot is good too!"

"Why would I care what some senile old bat wrote about history?"

"She lived next door to your parents!" Hermione sniffed. "Your Mother… would want you to study!"

Harry stared at her.

"Fine." He said. "Hand it over."

They spent several hours going over the school books that Harry had neglected to read during his entire tenure at Hogwarts.

"Honestly, I'm not sure why you haven't been kicked out yet." Hermione was saying.

"If they kick me out Voldemort wins." Harry yawned. "Lunch?"

"You're buying."

Harry groaned, but acquiesced. They went out for lunch, and Hermione managed to keep Harry at the table by handcuffing him to his chair.

"Well well well." Draco Malfoy said, as he sauntered up to them. "You look like you're on parole from Azkaban, Potter."

"Azkaban is nicer than anywhere you are, Malfoy." Harry said immediately. Malfoy scowled. His Mother, a haughty looking woman that Harry had never seen before, came up from behind him.

"Ah." She said, as she met Harry's eyes. "So you are Harry Potter."

"Yeah, that's me." Harry said, as he turned back to his lunch. Narcissa Malfoy stared at him. She was not the sort of woman who was used to being ignored.

"You know what a Fire Bolt is, Potter?" Malfoy asked, as he puffed out his chest. "The fastest, the most expensive, the most top of the line racing broom there is. This year my Father is buying seven of them for the Slytherin Quidditch team."

"Too bad the players riding them will be too busy sucking each other's dicks to play ball." Harry snickered. Narcissa made a shocked sounding noise at the vulgar language uttered in her presence.

"Don't talk like that in front of my Mother, Potter."

"What, you don't want her to know why there are no girls on the Slytherin Quidditch Team?" Harry asked. "And why you guys take the longest showers out of any of us?"

Malfoy drew his wand.

"Say one more word, Potter." He said. "One more word."

"Okay." Harry said. "Faggot."

Malfoy shot off the most powerful curse that his two years of magical education had given him. Harry went flying back and slammed into the roof of the ice cream parlor.

He was shaking his head in pain as Florean Fortescue came out, eyes blazing.

"This is the last time, Potter!" He snapped. "Out! Out!"

"Good job, Harry." Hermione said, once they returned to the Leaky Cauldron. "Banned for life from an Ice Cream Parlor."

"Fortescue's a nice guy." Harry said dismissively. "I'll make it up to him eventually." His eyes ran down Hermione's leg. Her thigh high socks were adorable. "I like your legs."

Hermione turned bright red.

"S-stop." She said. "You still have a lot of studying to do."

The two of them were sitting in the Leaky Cauldron. The Weasley Family were blowing the last of their lottery winnings on lavish drinks and food before the start of the school year. The Weasley Clan patriarch, Arthur Weasley, was extremely thankful to Harry for saving his daughter Ginny the previous year, and had informed him that Sirius Black was after him.

"I have to fight Sirius Black." Harry told her. "He betrayed my parents and got them killed."

Hermione gave him a look. "The Ministry will handle it."

'Yeah, just like they handled Slytherin's Monster." Harry said impatiently. "You can't rely on the government to fix your problems, Hermione."

Hermione was about to open her mouth to argue, but before she could Harry had gotten up and gone up to bed.

"Harry you need to go to Potions."

"No."

"You're practically living in detention now."

"While everyone else is studying. It's a net positive for me."

"You aren't learning anything."

"I'm learning about Sirius Black."

Hermione sighed. "Oh, not this again."

"I need to stop him, Hermione." Harry told her, exasperated. "After everything he did for me, I-'

"He'll kill you." Hermione told him bluntly. "I… don't want to see you die."

The two of them fell silent.

"I'll be fine." Harry said gruffly. "You don't need to worry about me."

Before Hermione could reply, however, Ron Weasley came down the stairs, looking furious.

"Your cat killed Scabbers!" He said bluntly, as he threw a strand of cat hairs onto the table in front of them. "How could you-"

"Scabbers is dead?" Harry asked, as he reached into his robe. "Then who's this?"

He pulled out a rat that looked remarkably like Scabbers. It was struggling vainly to escape.

"I've been looking after him for you." Harry said conversationally, as he handed him over. Ron took the rat gratefully, giving one last dirty look at Hermione, before traipsing off upstairs.

"Those are definitely Crookshank's hairs though." Harry told Hermione, as she examined the strands. "What were you doing in our dormitory?"

"What was I-?" She flushed, shaking her head. "I haven't been up there!"

Harry was walking across the grounds of the castle when a large black dog stopped to look at him. Harry had been seeing this dog ever since he had left River City, and he almost thought of it was his own.

"Hey boy." Harry said, as he flopped down next to it. The dog obediently lay down next to him and they stared out over the lake together. "How'd you like to guard my buddy's pet rat for me?"

The dog growled.

'Didn't think so." Harry said, laughing. "You're not much of a guard dog, are you?"

The dog fell silent. It looked almost sad.

"Hey, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Harry said. He shook his head. "Oh, what am I doing?" You're just a stupid dog."

He got to his feet and stretched.

"Come on, I'm taking you back to the Castle."

The dog followed obediently behind him. No student dared stop them, as Harry Potter had gained even bigger over the past year, and no teacher crossed their path. Harry led the dog up to the Gryffindor Common Room.

"We need to think about getting you a name." Harry told the dog, as he sat down in his favorite armchair. The dog sat down at his feet and looked around hungrily. "Uh, how about… Godric? That's badass, right?"

The dog let out a approving bark.

"Okay Godric." Harry said. "This girl I like has this cat, that my buddy can't stand. I need you to keep the cat away from him. Do we have a deal?"

Crookshanks descended the stairs from the girl's dormitories, and upon noticing them immediately made his way over to them. He purred as he nuzzled Godric with his neck. He barked happily.

"Goddamn." Harry said. "I don't think I've ever had a plan fail that badly."

"What plan?" Hermione asked, as she came down the stairs Upon seeing the dog with Crookshanks she stopped, as if in fear, before frowning.

"Harry, where did that Dog come from?"

"He's mine." Harry said happily. "He followed me all the way from River City."

"River- Harry, he couldn't have. That's miles away!"

"Maybe he hitched a ride on the train." Harry suggested.

Ron came down the stairs next. He was holding a struggling Scabbers in his hand and cursing.

"Dammit." He said. "Stay… still you bastard… I wish the cat had gotten you!"

The dog stood up. In one fluid movement he trotted up and over to Ron. Ron let out a yelp as the dog jumped at him. Harry, in a panic, was on his feet immediately, as the dog nipped at Ron's hand.

"Godric, no!"

Godric raised his head to show them he had Scabbers tucked tightly in his jaws. The rat was struggling furiously, trying to break free from his grip.

"Damn." Harry said. "He think he's a cat."

"He may have been transfigured." Hermione surmised. "Or maybe…"

Scabbers furiously tried breaking free from the dog's grip, but Godric did not let go. Instead he trotted over to the fireplace, and threw the rat inside.

"AH!"

In a flash of light a large overweight man had spread his limbs wide to prevent himself from entering the fireplace. He stared around the shocked common room in fear as Harry surveyed him.

"Who the fuck are you?" Harry asked, as Godric stepped back, looking smug.

"I'm…. I'm Scabbers!" The man whimpered. "I'm… a rat! Just a rat!"

"He's an Animagus!" Hermione realized immediately, staring at the man in horror. "He's… been Scabbers the whole time!"

"Wait, no!" The man pleaded. "I can explain…"

"He's a child molester." Harry decided, as he stepped forward. "He needs to be dealt with."

Ron suddenly turned very green.

"A… molester…?" He squeaked. "Scabbers…"

Harry approached the man with an intense fire and burning in his heart. Scabbers flinched in fear as Harry raised his hands, and in a punched him more furiously than he had ever punched anyone before. If you've ever seen JoJo's Bizarre Adventure when Jotaro uses his stand to punch someone really fast and really hard, it was exactly like that only significantly less gay.

The man's body completely folded and gave way as he flung himself back into the fireplace. He screamed as the flames enveloped him completely, and when Harry pulled him out again he was charred and broken, but still breathing.

"We need to turn him in." Hermione told Harry hurriedly. "Dumbledore will surely get to the bottom of this."

"Due to your actions in harming the hero, Peter Pettigrew, who was man who sacrificed himself to bring in Sirius Black, you will all be given detention."

"What?" Harry said, his eyes blazing. "Say what now?"

"Peter apparently lost his memory when he was blasted by Sirius Black's curse." The Attorney explained. "As a result, he genuinely believed himself to be a rat for twelve years."

Following the inquisition set forth by the Ministry of Magic, Peter Pettigrew had been cleared all of charges, granted a hefty settlement fee of a hundred thousand galleons, and had become a local celebrity overnight. Witches all over the country were flocking to his new mansion, and his biography 'How I Survived Sirius Black' became a national best seller.

"I had no idea the wizarding world court system was so fucked." Harry told Hermione. "No wonder Dumbledore is always trying to work around the law."

"Neither did I." Hermione said, huffing. "That man knew what he was doing… I'm certain of it."

Ron shivered. "How often did… he touch me while I slept?"

Harry put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Come to River City with me, Ron." He said gravely. "The only way to resolve your own trauma is to inflict it upon others."

"O-okay…" Ron said. "If you think it'll help…"

"I wonder whatever happened to Sirius Black?" Hermione wondered aloud, as Godric came trotting up to them, tail wagging furiously. "We haven't heard anything about him in a long time. Wasn't he supposed to be coming to get you?"

"He probably got scared and fled to find Voldemort." Harry snickered. "He knows when I get a hold of him I'll murder him dead."