MASS EFFECT CHASM: CHAPTER 18
"What gives, Shepard?" Jack was the first to remark on the crew's impromptu meeting at the CIC once Admiral Hackett debarked from the Normandy. He requested a face-to-face meeting immediately following the destruction of the entire Bahak system. Zalena still hadn't come to terms with what happened. It felt like a nightmare. Harbinger indoctrinated Kenson and all her team after they interacted with the artifact. The Reapers were coming in two days and that was before Kenson knocked Shepard out with Harbinger's help. When Zalena came to, she only had hours before the Reapers would hit Bahak, then Sol. None could stand in their wake. There was no solution to stopping the impending doom and the only thing she could do was to delay them. Give Earth enough time to have a defense, the best that they could. No one was ready. No one knew exactly how to fight the Reapers. Was any race ready? Shepard tried to warn the batarians to evacuate immediately. A desperate attempt to save some. All were out of the question. Her heart broke knowing that Dratin just went to reunite with his family. At least they could hopefully get out. Instead, Kenson blocked her communications. Shepard's warning fell on deaf ears. Everyone on the Normandy knew what happened. Or at least the aftermath. They knew that the admiral visited the Normandy to have a private debrief with Shepard. The ex-convict curled her upper lip. "What's with the suit?" Referring to Hackett.
Zalena stayed silent for a brief moment as she kept her composure. She had to remain solid in front of them. "You all know who I am and what I stand for. I know none of you question my integrity. Kenson was indoctrinated by Harbinger along with her team. The Reapers were coming for not just humanity, but for all of us. No one is ready. I…" She could feel herself tearing up as she got to Dratin. "I tried to warn the batarians in that system to get out …. Kenson blocked all transmissions and I ran out of time."
"A very difficult choice, Shepard," Garrus agreed. "Sacrifice thousands to save millions…"
"Over three hundred thousand to be exact," Zalena corrected glumly.
"I guess they want to say you're sorry now, huh?" Grunt barked sarcastically.
"I think we all know it's beyond that…"
"So, now what?" Miranda looked over at her. "The Alliance just locks you up for saving the goddamn universe?"
"Admiral Hackett has my report and he knows what was at stake." Zalena sighed. "It will be up to the politicians now. Ironic, huh?" She decided to move on to the next pain-staking task; the one that will impact her crew more. "I am to report to Arcturus immediately to be taking into custody. High-Command will launch an internal investigation to see if criminal charges will be placed against me for war crimes."
"Shepard, that's bullshit!" Jack angrily snapped. "Let's just take this ship and get the fuck out of here."
"If we did that, Jack, then she will look even more guilty," Garrus argued back in Shepard's defense. "She's doing this by the books…it makes perfect sense." He turned his avian eyes towards Zalena. "Dratin was one hell of a shot. Almost as good as me…" He cracked a weak grin. "He was part of us and we will avenge him. I'll take the first Reaper down for him."
Zalena smiled at her turian comrade. "I know he would hold you to that, Garrus. The Normandy will be handed over to the Alliance to convert it back to their vessel. All crew will be interrogated following what happened recently and our work with Cerberus."
"And the Cerberus crew?" Miranda pointed out the elephant in the room. "I severed ties with the Illusive Man, but there are some on here that still are part of the group."
"I left too," Jacob added. "I'm tired of doing their dirty work. I've seen too much to go back to them now."
"That will be up to them. I cannot say their fate or what happens once we dock with Arcturus. I will put in a good word for all. Though, I'm not sure how much weight it will hold now."
"Hackett knows us." Garrus stopped and then looked around. "Well, Tali and I. Kaidan, Liara, and Wrex didn't bother to join the party."
"At least you didn't forget me, Vakarian," The quarian teased beside him. "It's nice to be appreciated."
"That he does, Garrus. This may be the last meeting we have together."
"Commander, it's been an honor serving you," Dr. Chakwas stepped forward to greet her CO. "I'll await our next adventure together."
Zalena smiled warmly at the older woman. "Thank you, Dr. Chakwas. The feeling is mutual. I just hope it's on the Normandy." She then looked at everyone. Their eyes filled with a variety of feelings amongst them: Anger, sadness, fear, and anxiety. "It's been a damn good honor to serve with all of you. I'm so proud."
"This isn't the end, Commander," Miranda smiled at her with tears filling her eyes. "You got this."
"Damn straight," Jacob added. Everyone else nodded their heads and spoke up with their acknowledgments.
"Thank you all. Dismissed."
It was only when she reached her cabin did Zalena allow herself to cry. She staggered inside and wept as her body collapsed to the floor. Her hands reached out to prop herself up on her desk so she could sit upright. Her eyes burned from the overflow of tears. She desperately fought off to block any horrific images of what transpired on the batarian planets in the Bahak systems minutes to seconds before their destruction. Did Dratin reach his family? She could see him running off after leaving her to find his family. He was grateful for what she did for him and even offered him before their defeat of the Collectors. He said he had a young son…whose life was cut off too short. His life was not it…. there were thousands of batarian children of all ages now whose lives terminated. Was this what it meant to defeat the Reapers? Sacrifice innocent lives to have a chance? The notion was ruthless and cold. Just like a machine. Inside her head, she could almost hear Harbinger jab at her like a serrated blade, "You cannot stop us. You cannot win. All will ascend."
"Go to hell…." Zalena tore through the sobs. She stared at her room as if the alpha Reaper stood before her. "We will beat you."
"We will have your mind, Shepard."
"No, you won't. I'm stronger than you think. You know that. You have seen what I can do."
"Saren believed the same. He submitted. You will do the same."
"I won't be your slave!"
"You are dust. Nothing more. You are breaking down. No organic can resist," Harbinger reminded her. "Ask Kenson."
Shaking her head, Zalena found her footing and her strength. She stood back up against him. "I know this is all in my head. You are not real and you have no control over me. I'm letting my emotions and fears get the better of me." She closed her eyes and took several slow breaths. "This is not real…. this is not real."
A chime at the door interrupted her breathing exercises and her racing mind. "Come in." She quickly wiped her eyes.
Thane rushed in towards her. "Siha…. are you alright? I heard you shouting outside."
Blushing, she felt embarrassed that he heard her arguing with herself. "Yeah…. just under a lot of stress…. the shock from what happened with Kenson and the batarians…. I hated that… I feel…." She paused to gather her words. "So damn frustrated. I sent Dratin there…to his death."
"No," The drell's words were aggressive. "You wouldn't have known such a thing on the front end." He held her in his embrace. His pheromones stirred her immense feelings to him and she caught herself holding onto as if her lover was leaving her and yet she was the one about to leave him.
"I just hope he can forgive me."
"You gave his honor back. His family back. One last moment. Can you imagine what he would have he went through if they died while he was here?"
"I can't even imagine…would he even want to exist anymore?" Zalena slipped away and sat down on the edge of her bed. "The more I think about it…. about everything, the more painful it becomes."
"Steady yourself. I am sure your Alliance will not look favorably upon you for putting them in this predicament." His obsidian black eyes stared straight at her.
"It would better than facing them during Earth's fall…"
"Once you are apprehended, then I will no longer get to see you…" Krios sat beside her as he took her hand with his, giving a moderate squeeze.
Zalena shook her head as she clutched his hand, then pulled it up to kiss the dorsal side. "You can't follow me to Earth. I have no idea how long I will be there and they will be watching my every move."
"Then it will give me quite the challenge to test out my stealth skills," Thane grinned.
Zalena playfully pushed him away. "I'm sure you will try your best."
"I will remain optimistic, Shepard. I've never met someone so courageous and honorable like you…not even my fallen wife…" His voice softened.
"Where will you go?" Shepard was certain that the Alliance would let Krios go. A part of her cringed at the notion that he would take on more contracts.
"I will go to the Citadel and keep an eye on my son. We have so much to catch up on and Huerta can provide the medical treatment I need for my condition."
Zalena leaned in and kissed his lips softly. Her hand cupped his face, and caressed the rough gills on his face. "Don't die on me while I'm under arrest."
Thane returned the kiss as his eyes met hers. "Before I met you, I thought I was at the end of my life. You brought another fire to me…a will to live. I will hold on until your return."
"At least let me defeat the Reapers," Zalena cuddled up against him tiredly. "I need something to drive me forward."
