Full House
During her days as an Imperial general, Celes had witnessed her fair share of card games amongst her soldiers. She'd only played a few times back then, but after the Empire collapsed and the world was torn apart by Kefka, poker had become a bit of a routine hobby for her and the Returners, or whatever remained of them. It was played on a nightly basis—a hobby she looked forward to after a long day of exploring the world, searching for lost friends.
Fun as it had been, however, Celes played to win. And winning, unfortunately, had been hard to come by recently.
In the latest edition of poker night at Figaro Castle, Celes found herself in an all-too familiar situation, smacking the table repeatedly as Edgar leaned forward and hoarded the chips back to his corner. Make that eleven losses in a row to the king of cheats. Yes, she was certain that he was cheating. She just couldn't figure out how. Not even Setzer, the self-proclaimed "impartial" dealer who had been drinking way too much, had suspected anything, while Sabin, the other player losing just as badly as Celes, was often distracted and didn't seem to mind his brother take all the glory.
"Are you sure you want to keep playing?" Edgar teased her with that awful smirk she had grown to hate. He hadn't won today's match just yet, but it was approaching midnight and almost all the chips were in his corner. "I'm content with stopping here and calling it a day."
"Tch," Celes growled. No way she was giving up yet, no matter how stacked the odds were against her. "One more round."
Setzer cackled at her determination—he seemed to be enjoying this as much as the Figaro brothers. He had told her how much she reminded him of his early days as a novice gambler, never satisfied and always wanting more. Maybe it was simply revenge she wanted, or she was a masochist... because no matter how many times she lost, she always found herself back at the table demanding another round.
"How are you going to cheat this time?" she asked Edgar as the drunkard handed her the next set of cards.
"Quite the bold accusation," he replied, his fingers fiddling with the stem of his wine glass. "This is all skill, milady. All skill."
With another frustrated groan, Celes placed her hand down on the table, carefully lifting the edges of her cards for a peek. Her eyes shined for a moment, and just to make sure she wasn't hallucinating, she took a second peek.
Finally. She had the perfect hand.
"All in," she declared, pushing whatever chips she still had to the center of the table.
"Wow, seriously?" Sabin gasped.
Setzer barked another drunk laugh. "Atta girl! Show him who's boss!"
"Getting desperate now, are we?" Edgar added, clasping his hands behind his neck in amusement.
Ignoring them, Celes kept a neutral face as her heart began to pound in excitement. All she had to do now was wait, but as usual, she took a glimpse at Edgar every three seconds or so, hoping to catch anything suspicious. Cheater or not, however, it shouldn't matter—she was winning this round.
"Bah... I fold," Sabin grumbled, shaking his fist in frustration. Celes knew the feeling all too well, and for once, she couldn't help but smile at his misery. Poor guy had been folding all night.
"Damn!" Setzer slammed his tankard of ale on the table. "What you got, Edgar? Your tyranny could be ending here...!"
"It very well could be," he agreed, rubbing his chin as if in deep thought. A moment later, however, he leaned forward and shoved all his chips to the center, nearly quintupling the pot total. "Alright, all in."
"You've gotta be kidding me!" Sabin shouted like the excited little brother he was. At the other corner, Celes remained silent, her eyes narrowing just a bit.
"It's come down to this!" Setzer chuckled, gesturing to the large pile of chips. "Opera floozy! Show your hand!"
With a roll of her eyes, Celes did as he told, flipping her cards to reveal three kings and two queens. "Full house," she said with a smirk of her own.
"Whew!" Setzer whistled. "Gonna be hard to beat that..."
"Hell of a hand, indeed..." Edgar shook his head, holding his wine glass close to his lips as he observed the full house. Finishing his wine, he exhaled a sigh and smiled at the blonde woman. "Oh, Celes. Sorry to break your heart." He laid his cards out, revealing a seven, eight, nine, ten, and jack—all of diamonds. "Straight flush!"
"Brother!" Sabin cried, his jaw dropping to his chest. "How?!"
"All skill, dear brother! All skill."
Silence followed, and for the next minute or so, not a single word was spoken among the four. All eyes were on Celes, who stared at the cards like she'd seen a ghost, her mind racing and begging to spot a way out of losing. Edgar and Setzer had smirks plastered on their faces, the latter holding back another drunk laugh while Sabin looked even more bewildered than he did a moment ago.
After what seemed like an eternity, Celes closed her eyes and took a deep breath, rage seething beneath her cold exterior. She stood up and towered over Edgar, pointing a finger at his stupid smug face. "You," she snarled, "You dirty, slimy, cheating, son of a... son of a submariner! Have you no shame...?"
"Shame?" Edgar looked puzzled for a second. "Ah, yes. Shame for not suggesting strip poker ten rounds ago. You know, if we had agreed on it, you—"
"Edgar," Celes scowled, low-key grateful that she still had her clothes on. "Shut up."
"Celes!" Setzer stood from his seat, quickly popping open a beer bottle. "Calm down, Celes. Have a beer."
"I'm not thirsty," she refused without even looking at him, her angry eyes still on Edgar. Only when she felt the glass bottle touch her arm did she take it.
"Should we keep going?" Sabin chimed in. "I mean, Celes is out, so it's just me and Edgar now..."
Slamming her beer on the table, Celes opened her mouth to protest, but was cut off by the sound of footsteps behind her. She looked over her shoulder and spotted a familiar figure enter the room. "Terra?"
"Terra!"
"Hey, Terra!"
It was surprising to see Terra up so late in the evening—since rejoining the party last week, she had always gone to bed a couple hours before all her friends, never staying past ten. "Hey guys..." she greeted, pitter-pattering toward them with a moogle pillow nestled between her arm and torso. "I couldn't fall asleep."
"Setzer was screaming earlier," Sabin chuckled. "Must've woken you up."
"Sabin, you've been the loudest out of everyone here," Edgar corrected him before joining in on the laughter.
"Who woke you up?" Setzer asked, smirking. "Me or Sabin?"
"No one..." Terra murmured in a drowsy voice. "I can sleep through anything, normally..." She paused as she looked at the cards and chips on the table. "What's going on here?"
"We're playing poker," Edgar said. "Sabin and I. Setzer's dealing and Celes... well, she lost."
"Only because Edgar cheated," Celes snapped.
"I most certainly did not," he scoffed in response.
"Terra!" Setzer suddenly had an idea. "If you can't sleep, why don't you join us for a bit?"
Sabin pumped his fist in agreement. "Yeah! Pull up a chair and play a round or two with us!"
"Ah," Terra stammered, "But I've never played poker before."
"Don't worry! I'll explain the rules as you go," Setzer assured, turning her frown back into a smile.
"Alright. I'll give it a try."
"Great! Since we're starting over, Celes can play again."
"Ladies, this is gonna be good," Edgar smiled, rubbing his hands in anticipation. "Just a heads-up, Terra: I won't be going easy on you."
"Just a heads-up, Terra: Edgar is a cheater," Celes sneered. "The king of cheats." But her tone was easy. Despite her earlier outburst, she too was excited to see Terra play—more than her own opportunity at redemption.
"I'll keep that in mind," Terra giggled, sensing the bitter, competitive mood in the room.
It took a second beer, a short bathroom break, three apparently bad poker faces, and five more accusations that Edgar was cheating before Celes got herself eliminated from the game. Again.
But never mind that. As a spectator, Celes couldn't believe what she was seeing. Sabin had also lost, no surprise there... but what about Terra? Terra was destroying Edgar! Somehow, someway, the newbie had gotten the king of cheats hot under the collar, down to his last stack of chips. Whatever Terra was doing, she was doing it exceptionally well, as her ever-present smile, constant yawning and questions about the rules of the game had proven to make her hand impossible to read.
Edgar groaned, smacking his forehead the same way Celes had smacked the table (in frustration) all evening. He was five glasses of wine deep but showed no signs of intoxication, still focused on winning his chips back. But fatigue was starting to set in for him—it was past midnight and even his brother seemed to be rooting for Terra to close it out. Celes was also exhausted, but her desire to see Edgar lose had kept her wide awake to this moment.
Finally, after four straight rounds of getting his ass whooped, the king reached what could very well be his final hand.
"Sometimes, you just gotta take a chance," he muttered, pushing his last stack to the center. "I'm all in on this one."
"Getting desperate, huh?" Celes mocked him. How unusual it was to not see any chips in his corner.
Sabin slid his seat closer to the edge of the table. "This could be it. What's Terra gonna do?"
"I'm not so sure about this..." Terra mumbled, staring at her cards with doubt.
"Terra," Setzer sighed into his empty tankard. "Have faith in your hand..."
"I'm not too sure either," Edgar admitted, his fingers tapping the table. "But I've made my choice."
With a deep breath, Terra set her cards face down and pushed one of her stacks forward, matching Edgar's bet. "Okay then. Let's do this."
Setzer clasped his hands and nodded. "Very well. Show your cards!"
Celes narrowed her eyes, anxious as Edgar went first, revealing the six of hearts, clubs, and diamonds in a row. "Three sixes."
A decent hand, but the former general had a feeling it wasn't enough. Which, of course, was a good thing. "Terra?" Setzer requested, all eyes shifting to the half-esper woman.
"I think this is a full house?" She turned up four aces and the jack of spades.
"We have a winner!" Sabin cheered.
"Hah!" Celes jumped from her seat, laughing in Edgar's face. She couldn't believe it! "Thank you, Terra. I don't know how you did it, but thank you."
"You beat all of us on your first game," Edgar praised her with a wink. "I'm impressed! What's your secret?"
"I, uh..." Terra paused, her smile fading as she looked down at her winnings. "Thanks everyone. But... don't be surprised that I won."
"Why wouldn't we be?" Sabin raised his brow. "Edgar was undefeated until you showed up. None of us expected you to end his winning streak of all people."
"And he was cheating, don't forget that," Celes accused him for the umpteenth time. "Way to stick it to the king of cheats."
Edgar rolled his eyes at Celes' remark, and then stared at the woman who had just bested him. But Terra avoided his gaze, shyly turning away as she looked at Setzer instead. Celes sat back down as she glanced back-and-forth between the two, wondering what was going on. "So... Terra," Edgar called to her, taking on a more serious tone.
"I'm sorry, Setzer," Terra said with a frown. "I can't keep our secret any longer."
"Huh?"
"What secret?"
"The jig is up," Setzer spoke, leaning back on his chair with a shameless grin.
Terra looked at everyone apologetically. "Sorry, guys. There are two cheaters at this table... and neither of them is Edgar."
"What'd I tell you," Edgar smirked, waving his hand in Celes' direction. "You gotta cheat to beat Edgar Figaro. It's the only way."
Sabin shook his head in disappointment. "Oh... Terra..."
It took Celes another moment to put two and two together, and when it finally clicked, she gasped loudly. "Setzer, you were helping Terra win this whole time?"
"Correct," he confessed.
She facepalmed herself in disbelief. "No... way..."
Edgar shrugged. "I don't know, it seemed pretty obvious to me."
"I had my suspicions too, but I didn't think Setzer would be involved," Sabin conceded. "The fact that Terra went along with it surprises me even more!"
"Dammit!" Celes glared at Setzer. Never in a million years would she have expected Terra to cheat. "Does this mean you were helping Edgar, too?"
"That..." Setzer cut off with a hiccup, causing Edgar to laugh. "That, I cannot say..."
The machinist nodded. "Aye. For now, I remain innocent until proven guilty."
"But if... if you do your 'Maria' act again," the gambler slurred, fiddling with the card deck, "Then maybe... maybe..."
Again he trailed off, but no matter what he meant to say, Celes wasn't even going to bother replying. Maria, her ass. In his dreams.
"Maybe what?" Sabin asked innocently.
"Forget it," Setzer mumbled. "Maybe next time..."
Terra let out a tired sigh. "Sorry, Celes. I hope you're not mad at me."
"No... it's fine." Celes was too overwhelmed to think of anything else to say, and for the next little while, she thought back to the game in quiet. This was, without a doubt, the weirdest night of poker she'd ever been a part of. She realized how bad she was at reading people's faces, how silly and clueless she was to not have noticed Terra cheating, and not that she minded, how much of a sore loser she was. Hell, she still didn't know if Edgar had cheated or not. Setzer, on the other hand, was totally not the "impartial" dealer he had promised to be. Celes cursed him under her breath, thinking he should go straight to hell for the night.
"Celes? You okay?"
She looked up and blinked. Everyone was staring at her. "Huh," she muttered, "Oh, I'm alright." Maybe fatigue was the reason for her poor play tonight. She yawned and stretched as she stood from her seat, glaring at her friends one last time. "Terra, I'm still glad you beat Edgar. As for the rest of you... I'm never playing poker with you guys ever again."
As she stormed off into her chambers, mildly satisfied with feeling bitter and confused (she had fun), she heard Sabin shout back, "Sheesh, what did I do?"
"Don't worry, she'll be back here tomorrow," Edgar grinned. "Goodnight, everyone."
