I don't own Naruto, but it means a lot to me.
"Mandatory checkups?" Naruto recoils into his chair as though the notion has teeth and is sneering and clawing at him. "Why the heck do I have to do a mandatory checkup?"
"Not just you, idiot." Sakura answers, steadily ignoring the Nanadaime's shock. "Everyone."
Naruto leafs through the papers on his desk with renewed concern.
"Sai...Chouji...Hinata..." the blond blinks. Sakura can hear the cogs in his brain clunk and clamber to motion.
"…These are all our friends." He observes. Sakura nods.
"Your ability to state the obvious remains both deeply impressive and deeply concerning."
"Why the heck would you want to force our friend into...checkups?" The word sounds profane on the blond's tongue, and his lips curl in disgust.
"Because you want me to fix idiots." She responds slowly, making sure each of her words passes through her teammate's thick skull. "And everyone on that list is an idiot."
"But Shika?" Naruto balks, a childish panic etching his voice. "I just named him head of Konoha's intelligence! He can't be an idiot!"
Sakura shrugs. "And yet, here we are."
Sorting through this confusion takes much of the blond's focus for nearly a minute. His eyes pour from name to name with a growing concern and alarm.
"And I just told Shino he can teach at the academy..."
"Where I'm sure he'll do great."
"...And Ino's just been named Ibiki's successor..."
Sakura can't hold back a small snort, but nods.
"Couldn't be more fitting."
She can practically feel the confusion radiating from the blond as he attempts to piece together the puzzle. With one final, defiant shift, Naruto levels his finger at a final name on the list. His eyes harden.
"Hinata is not an idiot, Sakura."
His voice is so sickeningly earnest that Sakura doesn't know whether to gag or laugh at the declaration. Opting for neither, she learns forward, reaching he hand across the table and encompassing Naruto's in her own.
"Naruto." Sakura says, her eyes meeting the blond's with all the sincerity she can muster.
"Every single person who considers you one of their precious people is an idiot."
"What" The blond's response is both predictable and indignant, but Sakura winces mostly because it's loud.
"Sakura, that's such shit. My precious people aren't idiots."
"Oh?" Sakura answers, "You're so sure of that?"
His shoulders harden and his back arches, defiant. He used to do this when he was a child, and it was just petulant. When lanky limbs and tussled hair formed more of a pout than anything. He used to do it a lot when he didn't get his way – bow up and try and seem intimidating to get his way.
But that was the old Naruto.
His muscles tense and his back arches, and Sakura is suddenly reminded he's sitting in the Hokage's desk. He's meaning to be harmless, but his his shadow casts an imposing figure.
"Of course."
Her brain needs a moment to sort the sudden shift in tone, but she eventually leans forward.
"Tell me," she questions, "What would you call a genin who tried to attack you?"
"Attack? What?" A frown forms, and Naruto's eyes narrow in confusion. "What does this have to do with anything?"
"Just answer the question." Sakura repeats, pushing her arms forward on her desk. "What would you call a genin who ran out into the street and attacked you. A kage."
Naruto considers his answer for a moment before giving a small shrug.
"I'd tell her or him that they'd just made a big mistake, and I'd probably smack them upside the head."
"Pretty stupid thing to do, hmm?" Sakura suggests, "An inexperienced genin, running into danger and attacking one of the most powerful shinobi in the world. No plan, no strategy - just running into the street and attacking a S-class ninja."
Awareness flickers in Naruto's eyes, and his expression narrows. Sakura smirks and pushes the list of patients across her desk and into the Kage's hands once more.
"I'd like you to point to a single person on that list that did not recklessly follow you into battle against ninja many, many times their skill level."
Naruto's frowns and meets his teammates gaze with a stern look.
"Sakura." There's something heavy, like a rock or two decades of death, that flickers in his throat. She still finds his 'mature' voice jarring. "It was war, things were different then and -"
"War's only willing participants are evil fools and noble fools." Sakura finishes softly, her eyes meeting Naruto's gaze unflinchingly. Naruto's expression hardens, but he reclines into his chair.
"And may the evil learn their mistake and the noble never wisen." He answers, his voice a distant echo with a sad smirk crossing his face. "Don't think you can quote Ero-sennin to me, Sakura. I damn near wrote those books when he was drunk or whoring."
Sakura smiles. It's small, but it's warm and genuine. She gives the blond's hand another squeeze.
"Like it or not, they're idiots." She repeats, "but if you want me to fix idiots, they are my demands. I start with them. Every year, minimum one checkup."
Her declaration hangs in the air for a minute, and she realizes how unnerving it is to listen to Naruto think before he replies.
"And this is the only way you'll come back?" He asks.
"Yes." She nods, "These are non-negotiable."
For a moment, it almost looks like Naruto is an actual Kage. He leans back in his chair. Pensive. Contemplated. She knows it's silly, but he suddenly strikes a figure much more imposing than she'd ever seen on him. The thought idly crosses her mind that she would have never, in a million years, told one of the previous Hokage that she had 'terms'. Maybe she's overdone it and...
That thought, however, and much of the air in her lungs, dissipate as Naruto leaps across his desk, wrapping the woman in a bone crushing hug.
"You're the best, Sakura-chan!" He exclaims, face overflowing with a childish joy that she can't fight from stretching across her own. As she punches him in the kidneys to get him to release her, she wonders how she ever saw him as a leader.
It's less than a week before the Naruto has her moved in and accepting rounds. In truth, running Konoha's medicine is the least stressful job she's ever had. Free from the logistical nightmare of attending to the fifth Hokage, Shizune has found ample time to turn the medical facilities of Konoha into a well-oiled machine. Even after her fellow pupil retires, Sakura sometimes wonders if she even needs to come in at all. But then, right on schedule, her secretary informs her that it's one of her special patients and Sakura remembers exactly why she comes in.
Dr. Haruno Sakura clicks her pen against her cheek as she rolls her chair across the tile floors of her office, stopping just adjacent to her patient's seat.
"So," she asks, "what's been bothering you, TenTen?
I'm going to update in small groups just between work and my other responsibilities, but I wanted to set up the premise. Now we get into the actual meetings.
Hope you enjoy, y'all stay safe.
- Free Drinks
