A SMALL LADY'S BURDEN
A Sailor Moon fanfic

By Bill K.


Sailor Moon and all related characters are (c)2022 by Naoko Takeuchi and are used without permission, but with respect. Story is (c)2022 by Bill K.


"Mama!" Chibi-Usa cried.

She'd cried that phrase a lot in recent memory, often as an exclamation of the terror or deep sorrow the young girl was feeling. But this time it didn't reveal sorrow or terror; it revealed the utter joy the girl was experiencing as she ran to the arms of her mother. For her mother, Queen Serenity of Crystal Tokyo, was alive and awake and kneeling before her, her arms outstretched and her beautiful face bubbling over with tears of joy.

The girl leaped into her mother's arms with the force of a launched bowling ball. Serenity caught her effortlessly and squeezed the girl tightly to her breast. At that moment Chibi-Usa didn't mind in the least. If her mother never let go, it was all right with her.

"Oh, Small Lady," sobbed Serenity, "you're back and you're whole and you freed me from the grip of the Black Crystal!"

"I would have done it a million times, Mama!" Chibi-Usa said, tears of her own flying down her cheeks. "I'm so glad you're back!"

"I'm sorry you had to go through everything you did," Serenity said, pulling away just enough to face her child. "That whole Black Lady business must have been so horrible."

"It was," Chibi-Usa replied in a small voice. "But Sailor Moon saved me." Her face brightened. "You saved me." She looked down, darkening again. "I'm sorry I lost the Crystal."

"I forgive you," Serenity said, kissing her girl. "We all make mistakes. I know I've made more than my share of them."

"I know," her daughter said with a disillusioned tone. Serenity didn't have to be psychic to know her daughter was recalling "Baka Usagi". The Queen's mouth screwed up into a mock pout.

"Don't go there," she warned playfully. Her mood softened. "We all make mistakes, but the wise person learns from those mistakes. And mistakes or no, you're still my best girl and I love you. Never forget that, Small Lady."

Chibi-Usa wanted to say more. She wanted to do more, to make up for the terrible things she'd done and for all of the havoc she'd caused, all because of a selfish, childish whim. She wanted to hear her father and her aunts and all of Crystal Tokyo say they forgave her, even though that might not be enough to assuage the tremendous, crushing guilt she felt. But those desires were shunted to the side by the appearance of Sailor Pluto and three refugees from the twentieth century. And in her immature state, the sight of her good friend Momo brushed the guilt she felt aside. Maybe the gods were forgiving her by bringing her a friend to ease the isolation she'd experienced in the Crystal Palace and the isolation she felt because of her irresponsible act.

Crystals and Wise Men and Specter Sisters trying to kill her were forgotten for now.


Serenity looked up from her meal and focused on her child. She, Endymion and Chibi-Usa were dining in the Royal Chambers as they always did. Dinner was usually served by the chefs who staffed the palace kitchens and the young Princess often complimented their work by eating as voraciously as her mother. Serenity had been attacking her meal at first as vigorously as she often did. But a sense stopped her.

"Small Lady?" Serenity ventured timidly, arousing Endymion's attention. "Aren't you hungry?"

Chibi-Usa had been picking absently at her plate. It took a beat for the question to register in her brain. She glanced up at her parents and an expression of guilt flashed over her cherubic face. Almost in response, her fork stabbed a piece of meat and pushed it into her mouth.

"It's all right to still be bothered by what happened in the twentieth century," her father said gently. "I remember how scary it was for me. I'm sure it was twice as scary for you. But you're safe now."

"Yes, Daddy," the child murmured softly. Unenthusiastically she brought a broccoli spear to her mouth.

"Honey, if you want to talk about it," Serenity offered. "I know I'm not that smart . . ."

The rest of her words froze in her throat. Chibi-Usa looked up at her with an expression of momentary terror. Just like that, though, it retreated behind a shield of depression and melancholy.

"O-Or you can talk to your father, or your Aunt Ami or . . ."

"It's OK, Mama," Chibi-Usa said, focusing on her plate.

"Honey, you don't have to be brave about it," Serenity persisted. But the girl's wall of depressed silence continued. The child brought another piece of meat to her mouth. "Did Momo and her family get settled?"

A nod.

"I bet it'll be nice to have Momo around to play with," Serenity continued anxiously, "and to talk to."

"Yes, Mama," her daughter responded.

"It'll be nice for you to have someone your own age to be with," the Queen continued. "I know you've been a little lonely recently and I'm sorry for that."

It was almost imperceptible, but Endymion noticed his daughter seemed to wince.

"I know I'll enjoy having Natsumi-Chan back," the Queen rattled on. "And I just have to find out about this man she fell in love with."

"I'm finished now," Chibi-Usa said suddenly. "May I be excused?"

Serenity stared at her daughter like the Queen had been struck across the face. Endymion studied the little girl as she patiently waited for release from the table.

"If you've had your fill," he said gently. "You're going to miss a nice dessert."

"Yes, Daddy," she said.

Scooting off of the chair, Chibi-Usa headed for the door to her room. The closer to the door she got, the quicker her pace seemed to increase. In moments, she was gone behind it. As the door hissed shut, Serenity began to rise to go after her. Endymion closed his hand over hers.

"She's been through a lot," he advised his wife. "Give her some time."

"But Endymion . . ." mewled the Queen.

"I know. You want to take her in your arms and smother the hurt away. I think she needs a little space. Yes, she's very young. But we both saw her in the twentieth century; she's remarkably resourceful for someone her age. I think she can come to terms with this herself."

"And if she can't?" Serenity whimpered.

"If she falls, we pick her up," Endymion replied. "That's our job. But we have to let her try to walk on her own first."

"I knew this was coming," Serenity fumed. "This whole Dark Moon thing; I knew it was coming. I should have done something to stop it from happening."

"And changed the history of the world, and possibly the future?" Endymion asked her. "No. What we need to do is help her learn to live with what she's done." Endymion darkened with a memory from D-Point that he'd lived with for a thousand years. "It can be done. And I think she's strong enough to do it. And if she's not, that's when we step in and help her."

"Endymion, she's still just a little girl," protested the Queen. "I'm sorry, but I think you're trying to get her to grow up too fast. Look at how things turned out just because I didn't pick her up when she fell last time."

"Believe me, I dread the day when she grows up and finds a man and a life of her own," Endymion said evenly. "I want her to be my little girl forever. But that wouldn't be doing right by her. She has to learn, because we might not always be here to guide and protect her. How close did the Dark Moon come to ending us? Where would she be then?" He put down his fork and took a drink. "I had to learn very early in life because there weren't any parents to guide me. She can do the same."

"OK, Endymion, she has to learn," Serenity sighed and her husband could tell by long experience that she was being conciliatory in order to cling to her own position. "But she has to have time to be a little girl, too." Never one to let food go to waste, Serenity took another bite. "I food haff done somesing," she muttered.


That evening, King Endymion approached the door to his daughter's room. He waited for the environmental control computer to announce him, then touched the bypass to enter without the occupant bidding him in.

"You're such a hypocrite," he thought as the door hissed open. "You told Serenity not to hover and here you are doing the exact same thing."

His daughter sat on her bed, leafing through a pop-up book. The book had been given to her by Rei when she was an infant and was still one of her most prized possessions. However Endymion noticed that she wasn't getting as much enjoyment from the book as she usually did.

As he entered, he saw Chibi-Usa looked up from the book with the expression of a condemned prisoner. Gently she placed the book on her night stand.

"Have you come to punish me?" the pink-haired tot asked forlornly.

"No," Endymion said and sat on the edge of the bed next to her. "I think you're doing a good enough job of that yourself."

"Daddy, I'm so sorry," whimpered the girl.

"I know," he sighed. "What you did was very reckless and it put a lot of people in danger. But Sailor Moon was able to put things right. So as long as you learn from this, I don't think you need to be punished."

"What do I have to learn?" the little Princess asked warily.

"For one thing, that you're still a little girl and you're too young to handle some things just because your mother can," Endymion patiently explained. "And you have to learn that everything we do in life affects other people and has consequences."

"Conse . . .?"

"If you do something," he began, "or don't do something, that decision will affect someone else. It might be in a good way, like when you let your mom have the extra strawberry on the birthday cake you and she shared last June. Or it could be in a bad way, like what happened with the Dark Moon. You can't just act on impulse all the time, Sweetie. You need to consider whether your actions will hurt someone else before you act. That sound reasonable?"

"Yes, Daddy," Chibi-Usa replied, chastened.

"OK," he smiled. "Ready to get some sleep?" She nodded and Endymion tucked the girl in. Then he leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Have pleasant dreams, Sweetie."

Getting up, the monarch headed for the door.

"Daddy?" came a voice. He stopped and turned to his daughter. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," and he sat back down.

"How did baka-Usagi become Mama?" the girl asked, genuinely puzzled. "Mama is a fine lady and a great Queen and she knows everything! At least I thought she did. And baka-Usagi is - - baka-Usagi. How did it happen?"

Endymion smiled and caressed his daughter's face. "She grew up. You have to remember, Sweetie, your mom was fourteen when you met her in the past. In a lot of ways, she was still a child herself. But over time, she matured and gained experience and knowledge, and became the woman she is today."

The answer seemed to satisfy the girl.

"But even at fourteen, she was able to harness the Silver Crystal and become Sailor Moon," he continued. "And even though she was 'baka-Usagi' at the time, she still saved the world several times over. That just proves how great a woman she is. And I think you can be just as great. Maybe even better. But you have to give yourself time to grow up. It's not going to happen tomorrow. OK?"

"Yes, Daddy," Chibi-Usa replied. She seemed a little deflated by that answer. Endymion loved his daughter like he loved only one other person in the universe. But patience had never been one of her virtues.

Endymion got up and headed out the door, hopeful that he'd reached his beloved daughter. Chibi-Usa turned over in bed. She stared into the dark and wondered whether she would ever master the immense power she felt from the Silver Crystal.

And whether she even should.


Momo Momohara accompanied her friend Chibi-Usa into a large room inside the palace. It was the size of a movie theater, from her twentieth century point of reference, but without a screen or seats. Instead a grid pattern covered the walls, floor and ceiling. It was completely alien to anything she'd previously experienced. But then, so much of her current life was alien to anything she'd previously experienced.

"What's this?" she asked, unwilling to conceal the wonder in her voice.

"It's a holographic chamber," her friend replied as if she was identifying a toaster.

"What's that?"

"Let me show you," the Princess said and Momo saw a glimmer of the old impish excitement in her friend.

Chibi-Usa placed her ball on the floor. The ball, which Chibi-Usa called "Luna-P", was another alien thing to Momo. For one thing, it floated. And it seemed to obey her friend's every spoken command. If it was a machine, it was one more remarkable thing about this era. If it was alive, Momo wondered just what it ate.

Chibi-Usa took a step back and Momo followed suit.

"Luna-P, initiate protocol seven," Chibi-Usa said. Luna-P's eyes flashed and the grid in the room began to glow neon green. "Royal Receiving Room."

And just like that, Momo was in the Palace Royal Receiving Room, where heads of state greeted the King and Queen, and where Serenity took time out of each day to meet with the common people, as she'd done for a thousand years. Momo's eyes popped as she looked around.

"How did we get here?" Momo marveled. "Can that ball teleport us?"

"We're still in the holographic chamber," Chibi-Usa explained. "It just looks like the Royal Receiving Room. It can look like anything I want it to look like. Well, anything that's in the database. Luna-P has her own database files and can give us even more choices through her interface with the room's environmental controls."

"Huh?" Momo asked, giving Chibi-Usa a fisheye look.

"Sorry. I bet this thirtieth century tech is a lot to take in."

"A little," Momo nodded ruefully. "Does it just affect the room?"

"No! It can make us look like anyone we want, as long as it's in the database!" the Princess exclaimed.

"Can it make me a queen?" Momo asked.

Without hesitation, a ruby light beam shot out from Luna-P's nose. The beam struck Momo and in seconds to anyone who looked at her the girl was twenty and draped in a lavishly ornamental silk kimono of red and white. An ornamental crown of jewel-encrusted gold rested on her head of long silky black hair and she held a gold fan.

"You look great!" gasped Chibi-Usa.

"Why not make yourself up the same way?" Momo suggested. "Then we can have a grand tea party with all of the other royalty! It can create other people, can't it?"

"I'm not sure I can be a queen anymore," murmured the pink-haired princess, her eyes seeking the floor.

"Why not? You're going to be a queen someday. That's what Mom told me."

"Maybe not," Chibi-Us frowned. "And for sure not as good as Mama. Besides, I'm not sure I want to be a queen anymore." Her eyes lit up and dispelled some of the melancholy. "I want to be Sailor Moon!"

"Yeah! Sailor Moon is cool!" Momo exclaimed.

"Luna-P," the small Princess said with sudden inspiration, "make me Sailor Moon!"

The laser beam struck again and in moments the Princess was cloaked in the illusion of Sailor Moon, the Moon Scepter in hand and twin trails of blonde hair wafting behind her.

"You look just like her!" Momo squealed. "I want to be Sailor Venus!"

And in moments she was. The two girls giggled with excitement.

"Can this magic room create some bad guys for us to fight?" Momo asked. Awkwardly, though, the holographic Venus stopped and put her hand to her mouth. "That's OK, isn't it? I know you went through a lot."

"It's all right," Chibi-Usa mumbled. "Daddy says I've got to move on from it - - that they can't hurt me anymore."

"It must have been scary," Momo continued, "having all those crazy people chasing you. And you being so far from home and all."

"Yeah, it was," she replied softly.

"If you don't want to talk about it, that's OK," Momo offered. "But I think you're really brave for facing what you faced."

Momo looked at her friend and it seemed for a moment the girl was going to cry. But Chibi-Usa tamped it down.

"Luna-P, end program," the Princess said. The room returned to grids, while Momo and Chibi-Usa returned to their normal look. "Maybe we can do something else."

"Sure, Chibi-Usa," Momo said quickly. "Anything you want."


"Does Small Lady seem all right to you?" Rei asked.

She and her fellow Senshi and lifelong friends were sitting at a table in the palace cafeteria catching up.

"Gee, she just came back from a scary roller coaster ride with aliens trying to kill her," Minako remarked. "Can't imagine why she'd be upset."

Rei sighed with fatigue.

"I understand your concern," Ami interjected. "While Minako did put things in her usual crude manner . . ."

"Hey, crude's my middle name," Minako quipped.

"Get it changed," Makoto quipped back.

It was Ami's turn to sigh with fatigue. "She does make a legitimate point. Small Lady went through a very extended traumatic experience - - several, to be precise. It would naturally follow that she experience some form of post-traumatic reaction to it." Ami swirled her cup of fruit juice. "I offered to talk to her, but Endymion feels that she should be given the chance to come to terms with the experience herself. And, as one might expect, Serenity deferred to Endymion's judgment."

"Why? Have you seen something?" Makoto asked Rei.

"No," Rei squeaked, unable to mask the hurt in her voice. "Because Muf . . .she's . . .I think she's avoiding me. Like maybe she doesn't want me to see something."

Rei felt a steadying hand on her shoulder and saw it belonged to Minako. She gave her friend a small smile.

"Yeah, that's not good," Makoto scowled. "With all of the experience I've had with children, I can usually tell when they're bottling something up inside. And since you're the one who can see what she's not supposed to see, and Ames is both a doctor and someone who can tell what you had for breakfast by the crumbs on your blouse, the kid's not likely to open up to either of you."

"I did that once," huffed Ami.

"So how about I try," Makoto continued. "I'm not the see-all priest or the genius doctor. And I'm not her mom and dad, her main authority figures. I'm just good old Aunt Makoto."

"It's an excellent idea," nodded Ami.

"And you can bribe Small Lady with cookies, too," smirked Minako.

"Cookies," smiled Makoto. "You know, that might be a good ice-breaker. Thanks, Blondie. I guess you are useful for something."

"You mean besides classing up this group?" Minako grinned.

"Are you going to visit her now?" Ami asked Makoto.

"No, I've got to time it just right," Makoto sighed. "Otherwise it'll seem to her like I'm prying and she'll button up. Getting kids to open up about things they think might get them in trouble is really delicate work."


Dinner had been another adventure in silence. Serenity inquired about her daughter's day with Momo and received one word answers in return. Endymion had sounded Chibi-Usa out about his plans to enter her in the palace tutorial system, since she'd already had a short stay in kindergarten in the twentieth century. She seemed amenable, even displaying some hints of eagerness at the idea.

But everything was through a veil of deep blue that neither parent could pierce. More words of encouragement were acknowledged, but failed to cheer the pink-haired tyke.

Later that night, Endymion felt the bed rustle and through sleep-sodden eyes saw his wife was hurriedly rising. It was unusual behavior for her, for the Queen was legendary for being able to sleep through a cannon barrage.

"Your Majesty?" he heard Luna inquire, but Serenity didn't answer. Instead she hurried to the door to their daughter's room.

Then he felt it: Small Lady's distress. Now fully awake, he bolted from his bed and followed Serenity to the door, Luna on his heels. But Serenity still beat him there.

The door hissed open. In the room, Small Lady sat up in bed, quaking in the dark. As his eyes adjusted, Endymion saw the child was staring into the darkness, terror-stricken. The sight was brief, for Serenity moved in and clutched the girl to her breast. Immediately Small Lady started crying.

"I'm here, Small Lady," Serenity whispered as she stroked the girl's head. "You're all right."

"It-it-it happened again!" Chibi-Usa wailed. "I killed you! I killed you both!"

"Shh, it's all right," Serenity cooed, trying to comfort her daughter. "It was just a dream. I'm all right, and your father's all right. You're safe and everything's fine."

But the pink-haired tot continued to cry, mournful sobs from the depths of her young soul. Endymion looked on helplessly as Serenity rocked her. He wanted to wave a magic wand and make all of this go away.

Maybe Serenity was right. Maybe they should have prevented this from happening.

Sensing a presence behind him, Endymion turned. Rei was framed in the doorway, looking like she was about to burst into tears herself. He heard footsteps out in the hall leading to the Royal Chambers and voices that sounded like Makoto and Minako. His protective nature took over.

"Let's give them some privacy," he suggested as he began trying to herd Rei out. The priest looked at him and seemed to want to fight to stay. Then she relented and adjourned to the outer chamber, followed by Endymion and Luna.

"What the Hell happened?" Makoto asked.

She was standing in the doorway to the Royal Chambers. Minako was behind her and Ami behind them. All three had been roused from sleep and were dressed in robes, or a t-shirt and sandals in Minako's case.

"She just had a nightmare," Endymion assured them.

"It wasn't just a nightmare," Rei said, her voice haunted. Everyone's attention turned to her. "I-I caught a glimpse of it when I was in there." Rei's hand went to her head, pushing back her thick black bangs. "Her hands were silver - - like the crystal. And everywhere she went, everything she touched would disintegrate. Furniture, toys, people; so she did what any child would do and ran to her parents for help. But when she touched you . . ."

"Oh dear," gasped Ami.

"Gods, I wish I could get my hands on that rat bastard Wise Man one more time!" fumed Makoto. "To do what he did was bad enough, but to do it to a little girl . . .!"

"Vengeance on Wise Man should be the least of our concerns at the moment," Luna spoke up. "Small Lady is clearly suffering as a result of what happened, and as bravely as she's tried to move on from this, it may be asking too much of a girl her age."

"Well all Serenity has to do is use the crystal and make her forget," Minako suggested. "She does it for perfect strangers."

"And I still maintain that altering a person's memories is potentially dangerous," Ami said immediately.

"You'd rather see her suffer?" Minako countered.

"There are safer ways to alleviate suffering," Ami responded. "Just because they take longer doesn't call into question their effectiveness."

"I'm with Ami," Rei added. "There are also sutras I can use to ease her trauma, but it's a risky means that might not hold long term. What you're suggesting is just as risky."

"Risky how?"

"Who we are is shaped by our experiences," Ami explained, "both good and bad, as much as by our environment and our upbringing. If you erase an experience, you alter who you are and run the risk of stunting potential psychological growth. It's better to come to terms with an adverse experience rather than excise it from memory."

"Yes, Minako," Rei added. "Do you want to run the risk of turning her into a happy little robot who doesn't understand pain or tragedy?" Minako was about to speak up, but the hiss of a door stopped her.

"We'll," Serenity spoke up, leaning against the closed door to Small Lady's room, "think about all of the options. Thank you for your input."

"Serenity, how is she?" Rei asked desperately.

"Sleeping," Serenity replied. "She cried herself out and drifted off." The Queen became embarrassed. "I - - helped a little."

"I'd like to talk to her in the morning, if it's all right," Ami ventured. "Or perhaps Makoto if you don't think she'll talk to me."

"Let me see how she is in the morning," Serenity said cautiously. "I do appreciate all of your concern."

Endymion took that as a signal and began herding the others out of the chamber. Alone again with his wife, Endymion sagged against a wall.

"Obviously there's more bothering her than how you went from a goofy teen to queen of a nation," he sighed.

"Obviously," Serenity nodded. Then she looked at him. "Wait, what?"


The next morning at breakfast, everyone was subdued. Serenity, for once, was fully alert and searched anxiously for a way to proceed. Chibi-Usa sat and ate as if she expected the wrath of the gods to be visited upon her at any moment. It was more than Endymion could stand.

"Small Lady," he began cautiously. "I think it might be best to talk about what happened in the twentieth century. Now I haven't changed my mind about you not needing to be punished for what happened. That's not what this is about." She wouldn't look at him. "I just think that you're scared and hurt and angry and worried, and a whole lot of other emotions that are perfectly normal for someone who went through what you did." She still wouldn't look up from her bowl. "I think talking about what you feel might help you."

"Yes, Honey, we're worried about you," Serenity added.

"And if you don't want to talk about it with us, maybe Ami or Rei . . ." Endymion began.

"No!" Chibi-Usa exclaimed. Instantly she cringed in fear.

"They just want to help, Honey," Serenity said. Luna-P hovered behind the girl's head.

"I'm all right," the child whimpered. "I've caused enough trouble."

"It's no trouble, Small Lady," Luna chipped in from the counter top where she was perched. "They're very fond of you and merely wish to spend time with you. In fact, Makoto asked me to convey a request to you. She'd like to teach you how to make cookies."

"She does?" Chibi-Usa asked timidly. "Why now?"

"We're all on edge after recent events," Luna explained. "Many of us in the palace are in need of a little normal and a means of relaxing. And Makoto is never more relaxed than when she's cooking." The black cat smiled at the girl. "And she misses you and wants to spend some time with you."

"I don't know why," mumbled the girl.

"I do," Luna replied. "We all do. So unless you have pressing plans with Momo, might I suggest you take her up on the offer? You'll certainly be able to sample the fruits of your labor and if you're just half of the baker Makoto is, you'll possess a new skill to treasure."

Chibi-Usa sat and contemplated the offer while her parents watched and tried not to stare. They could see that the legendary confections of Makoto Kino was a clear temptation to the girl.

"Will Aunt Ami be there?" she asked.

"Ami has a medical board meeting," Endymion responded. "I think it's supposed to last all day."

"Can I, Mama?" Chibi-Usa asked.

"Only if you promise to bring me back some," Serenity smiled.

"I will," the girl nodded. "When does she want me to come?"

"She said any time was fine with her," Luna reported.

With that, Chibi-Usa impulsively slid off her chair and headed for the door. She stopped, however, and sheepishly turned back to her parents.

"May I be excused?" she grimaced.

"Yes you may," Endymion nodded with gentle humor. "And say 'hello' to Makoto for me."

The girl nodded and became a blur of pink as she exited. Serenity sighed with relief.

"You handled that brilliantly, Luna," the Queen exclaimed. "Thank you so much!"

"Not at all, Your Majesty," Luna replied. "I only hope a little 'normal' will help matters." She glanced at Endymion. "You did notice her desire to avoid Ami and Rei, didn't you? I wonder what that's about. I can see her fearing Rei's disapproval, but Ami?"

"Almost like she's afraid they'll notice something she doesn't want noticed," the King mused.


In the kitchen of the quarters Makoto Kino shared with Ami Mizuno, Makoto and little Chibi-Usa were at a counter rolling cookie dough out onto a board. Chibi-Usa stood on a stool so the diminutive princess could reach the counter. The encounters in the corridors with palace workers who would stare at her or give her a wide berth had depressed her, but a gentle word from her beloved Aunt Makoto about not worrying about what others thought of her eased it somewhat.

Even though she tried to conceal it, Chibi-Usa had been suspicious at first. She knew the adults were trying to find out her secret, the one she just couldn't reveal at any cost. She figured that this was just a ruse to question her. The child had only gone because the thought of sampling her Aunt Makoto's cookies was just too much of a temptation.

But she'd been there a while and all Makoto had done was show her how to mix cookie dough. Her instructions were gentle, but precise; nobody felt more strongly about cooking that her Aunt Makoto and, though she was a stickler for precision, the results were certainly worth the effort. The young princess felt herself relaxing and her ever-inquisitive mind absorbed every detail of the process.

The first batch they'd baked had been mostly Makoto. They each sampled the results over some milk and as usual Makoto's batch delighted. After a few, Makoto gathered the rest up and bagged them, in her words, as her tribute to the Queen. And they started on a second batch, with Makoto standing back and letting Chibi-Usa solo.

"Hey, you're pretty good at this for it being your first time," Makoto said. "Now roll the dough out, not too thin."

"Is that thin enough?" Chibi-Usa asked.

"Yeah, that's good, Small Lady," Makoto nodded. "So, do you want to do drinking glass circles like I did, or do you want to do shapes?"

"How do you do shapes?" Chibi-Usa gasped.

With that, Makoto opened a drawer and took out a small plastic box. In the box were a set of cookie cutters. Chibi-Usa's eyes popped.

"What are those?" she gasped.

"Cookie cutters," Makoto replied with a smile. "They let you make cookies in animal shapes." She grew nostalgic. "I've had these since the twentieth century. Ichiro always liked making animal cookies." She smirked nostalgically. "Akiko always liked putting the icing on because she could lick the knife after."

"And it's OK if I use them?" Chibi-Usa asked doubtfully.

"Why not? They've already survived a thousand years."

With pudgy fingers, Chibi-Usa took an equine-shaped cutter and pressed it into the dough. Following Makoto's instructions, she lifted the cut dough off with a thin spatula and placed it on the metal sheet. This continued until the sheet was full. Then the sheet was placed in an old-fashioned convection oven.

"Ikuko-Mama had one of these in the twentieth century. Why don't you use a crystalline thermo-oven, Aunt Makoto?" the girl asked as they waited.

"I don't like the way they heat things," Makoto replied. "Call me old-fashioned, but these old convection ovens produce the best results."

When the cookies were done and cooling, Makoto showed her young guest how to make frosting by hand rather than from a computerized replicator. Standing back while Chibi-Usa frosted her creations, Makoto observed the girl. There still seemed to be a shadow over her, but a lot of the old Princess was coming out. After Chibi-Usa proclaimed them done, she and Makoto sat down and sampled them.

"Hmm, pretty good," Makoto nodded.

"Not as good as yours," the girl sighed.

"It was your first try. Nobody's perfect their first try."

Chibi-Usa nibbled on her cookie in silence.

"Why are you so hard on yourself, Small Lady? Nobody expects you to be perfect right out of the gate." Makoto poured some more milk. "We all come up short in life sometimes. We all make mistakes and we all fail. Some folks give up and some folks just try harder." She slid the glass over to Chibi-Usa. "Is that what's bothering you? You failing with the crystal?"

"Well?" she whimpered. "I made a mess of everything! I almost got everyone killed! So many people got hurt because of me!"

"I know," sighed Makoto. "It's a lot to carry, especially for a little girl like you. You can't change the past, Hon'. All you can do is try to do better. Now this is going to follow you. I won't lie. But if you keep trying to do better, most people will forgive and forget. I know. I did something really bad when I was a kid and it took a long time for people to stop judging me. But I kept trying to do better, so people eventually forgave me. You can do it, too."

The Princess sipped her milk in silence.

"Or are you worried about Wise Man coming back?" Makoto ventured carefully.

"He won't come back," murmured Chibi-Usa. "Mama made sure of it." The girl sighed. "I'll never be her."

"Who says?" Makoto replied. "You've got the genes, Small Lady. All you need is the effort." She picked up a cookie and bit into it. "And even if you're not as good as her, if you're as good as you can be, that's all anyone has a right to ask of you. You might fail, but you're only a failure if you don't try."

"You don't understand," mumbled Chibi-Usa.

"Well, maybe you can make me understand," Makoto ventured hopefully.

But the girl only munched on a cookie and Makoto quickly realized that nothing more was coming.


"Wow, some interrogator you are," Minako huffed. She was sitting with her three best friends in the cafeteria again, comparing notes.

"Like you could do better," sniffed Makoto. "You can't even get Artemis to fess up."

"Yes I can!" Minako proclaimed. Then she leaned in. "About what?"

"This is just a guess based on the evidence at hand," Ami frowned, "but she still seems to be afraid of something."

"Yeah, but what? She told me herself that she's not afraid of Wise Man coming back for her," Makoto replied. "And Endymion already told her she wasn't going to be punished for taking the Crystal."

"She seems pretty intimidated by her mom," Minako observed. "Not hard to see, too. She's got a lot to live up to."

"Nobody expects her to be Serenity," Makoto argued.

"Oh, poor naive Makoto. There's an old saying in my business," Minako countered. "Never be the act following a legend. Nobody should expect her to be Serenity, but a lot of people will. It's not fair, but it's life."

"I agree with Minako," Ami sighed. "Human behavior has been known to put unwarranted high expectations upon the children of people of note. Unfortunately Small Lady will be one of those people. Perhaps she's sensing that." Ami shook her head. "I shouldn't be engaging in idle speculation. Analysis must be based on facts and data, and unfortunately I don't have enough. I wish Small Lady would let me speak to her."

"And that's the biggest red flag that she's still hiding something," Minako concluded.

Rei suddenly got up off her chair. "Well I'm going to do something about it."

And off the priest marched out the door. The three women remaining behind looked curiously at one another.

"Suppose she's going to beat it out of her?" Minako asked.

"Based on previous behavior, the logical assumption would be that she's either going to confront Small Lady against the child's wishes," Ami told them, "or use her divine abilities to achieve the answer surreptitiously." She glanced at where Rei had been. "Right now it might be our best hope of resolving this, short of Small Lady relenting and revealing what still bothers her."


The heat from the fire pounded relentlessly against the exposed flesh of Rei's neck and chest. Though it never did any damage no matter how long she endured a fire reading, it was still uncomfortable. But one didn't seek out the gods without enduring some discomfort.

And she'd been at this reading for a while. Doggedly determined to ferret out what was still burdening her precious "muffin", the priest continued to peer sightlessly into the roaring flames as perspiration coated her face. Occasionally she would absently reach down and pick up a few sticks of wood, sacrificing them upon the altar in hopes of appeasing the gods and gaining insight. So far, nothing had come except for a few flashes of Small Lady as Black Lady. They were bitter memories from the past that existed in the priest's mind like poorly healed sores. Why were the gods showing her this again?

Was that it? Did Small Lady recall her time as Black Lady? Were the horrible deeds she'd performed as the twisted adult version of herself what haunted her? Or had Wise Man done something even more despicable in the time she was in his thrall? Rei's hands began to shake. She nearly lost her concentration as she willed her legendary temper down. She needed to be calm. As her grandfather had always told her, it was difficult to see clearly through a veil of red.

And then a new picture came. Rei's breath caught in her throat.

"Muffin, no!" she gasped. Scrambling to her feet, the priest bolted out the door.


Chibi-Usa ran through the corridors of the Crystal Palace at full speed. She passed palace workers in the corridor without acknowledgment. As much as she was running toward a destination, the girl was also running from something.

A maintenance worker had passed her in the hall with suspicion in his eyes. Chibi-Usa had seen it more and more since coming back from the twentieth century. Before she had been loved by everyone who worked in the palace. Now she saw the stares and heard the whispers. Shamed, the girl turned away and began walking down the corridor.

"My son can't sleep at night," the worker called after her, "because of what your Dark Moon friends did."

Tears filled her eyes as she ran away from him. Her parents would console her.

But she stopped suddenly and recalled one of the things that Wise Man had twisted, of her mother and father telling her that she had to learn to be self-reliant. That she had to pick herself up when she fell and not rely so much on them. That she had to be responsible for her own life. And knowing what she knew now of how much of a threat she was capable of being, she knew what she had to do in order to be responsible.

Arriving at the portal to the temporal nexus, the pink princess stepped through the barrier separating it from the temporal world as she had dozens of times before. This time, though, she wasn't visiting her lifelong friend Sailor Pluto. In fact, she silently prayed that Pluto would not notice her being there until she did what she had to do.

Racing through the mists, Chibi-Usa headed for The Door of Time. She knew the way by heart, having talked with Sailor Pluto often in the door's shadow. The foreboding mists did not intimidate her. On she ran until The Door came into view. The child approached The Door and reached for the knob.

"Please do not touch The Door, Small Lady."

Chibi-Usa grimaced. She turned and saw her beloved Puu emerging wraith-like from out of the mists, the Garnet Orb Staff in her hands. Hurriedly she reached once more for the knob.

"Must I stop you, Small Lady?" Pluto asked and there was genuine pain in her voice. Once more she had brought someone pain. "Must I remind you that should you venture through The Door without a Time Key, you could become lost amid the eddies of time for eternity?"

"Good!" cried the Princess. "That's what I want!"

"And why would you wish to deprive us of your wonderful company, Small Lady?" Pluto asked.

"So I don't hurt anyone else!" Chibi-Usa replied. Her lower lip trembled and a tear streamed down an apple cheek.

"But such an act would hurt so many, starting with me," Pluto told her. "How could you wish to hurt so many who love you?"

"BECAUSE I'M EVIL!" the girl wailed, tears flowing like rivers. "I TRIED TO KILL MAMA! I TRIED TO DESTROY EVERYTHING!" She sniffed loudly. "Evil doesn't belong here! I have to go away to some place where I can't hurt anyone!"

"Small Lady . . ." Pluto began.

"NO! I'M EVIL, I'M EVIL! WISE MAN PROVED IT!" And she grasped the door knob.

"Small Lady," came a voice through the mist. It was a calm and even voice, but a voice of authority used to being obeyed. It was the voice of authority that the girl had been used to obeying all of her life.

Chibi-Usa turned around, her hand coming away from The Door. King Endymion stood about twenty feet away. Behind him was Queen Serenity, looking on anxiously. The child looked at her father. She wanted to run, but couldn't.

"Come here please," Endymion said, again calm and even and again expecting to be obeyed.

Though she didn't want to, Chibi-Usa haltingly approached until she was a foot away. She looked up at him with condemned sorrow, expecting him to deliver the wrath of the heavens down upon her. For she was evil and a threat to everyone and deserved no less.

But the King knelt down to his daughter, took her in his arms and pressed her to him.

"Listen to me," he said softly into her ear as she cried on his shoulder, in that voice that she could never defy. "You-are-not-evil. Do you understand?"

"But Daddy!" sobbed the Princess. "I did so many horrible things!"

"I don't care what that terrible man made you do," he said. "You are not evil. You are my pride and joy, and you always will be. You will always have a place in this palace. You don't have to go away. You don't have to worry about the Dark Moon ever again. And you don't have to worry about Black Lady ever coming back again. She's not coming back."

"How do you know?" wailed his daughter.

"Because I trust you," he said. "I trust you to grow up to be a fine lady and a fine queen and to never let her come back."

And the anguish that had choked a little girl's soul came pouring out in some of the most mournful sobs ever heard. Serenity came in, knelt beside them, and pressed in from Chibi-Usa's back. And Sailor Pluto watched from afar, her eyes glistening amid her otherwise inscrutable face.

As Chibi-Usa was led through the nexus back into the real world, each hand grasping the hand of one of her parents, she was greeted by her four beloved "aunts" waiting on the other side. Upon seeing her, Rei lurched forward. She sank to her knees and enveloped Chibi-Usa desperately.

"Oh, Muffin," she said to the girl, her voice quavering with emotion, "don't you ever, ever think for one moment that you're evil! Do you hear me?"

"So that was the problem," Ami murmured as she and the others looked on.

"Yes, Aunt Rei," the girl whispered.

"I mean it!" Rei reiterated, holding her prized friend at arm's length.

"Listen to her," Minako smiled, crouching so that she was eye-level with the Princess. "You're not evil. And I worked with movie producers, so I know evil."

"Yeah, Hon', you made a mistake," Makoto added, crouching between Rei and Minako. "But if you own it, and keep trying to do better, that makes you anything but evil."

"What you're feeling is guilt," Ami told her, crouching on Rei's other side. "It's proof that you're not evil, because evil people don't often feel remorse or they attempt to rationalize it. If you're still confused or anxious about what happened or how to deal with it, please come talk to me. I guarantee I'll make time for you."

Tears anew began to sprout from the eyelids of the young princess, which surprised her because she didn't think she had any left.

"I don't understand!" she cried. "Why aren't any of you mad at me? After what I did, you should all hate me!"

The girl felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned and found her mother crouched next to her. Serenity looked at her with that face that had come to represent human charity to the world, the face that Chibi-Usa had always looked to for love and comfort.

"Because we can see into your heart, Small Lady," Serenity cooed. "And we know Black Lady was just a twisted mirror image of you. And she's gone now, and the Small Lady we love is back again."

The Pink Princess wiped her forearm across her eyes. Sensing her emergence from time space, Luna-P floated up and hovered over the girl. For a few moments, Chibi-Usa struggled with just how to respond.

"I'm so glad I'm home," she said finally. Serenity kissed her on the cheek.


"Endymion," Serenity began, gliding into her husband's computer room, "is Small Lady in here? It's bad enough you spend so much time in this dreary little room; I don't want her living in here, too."

"I don't 'live' in here," sighed Endymion.

"Could have fooled me," huffed the Queen.

"According to my monitors, our daughter is in the holographic chamber," Endymion reported.

"That's another room," scowled Serenity. "Whatever happened to children going outside and playing?"

"Would YOU let her go outside?" her husband asked.

"Smarty," Serenity frowned. "Is Momo with her?"

"Of course," grinned the King. "They practically do everything together now except bathe. I'm waiting for her to ask if we can adopt Momo."

"Thank goodness," sighed Serenity. "Honestly, I will never forgive myself for leaving her alone as much as we did."

"We did have a few other pressing matters," Endymion reminded her.

"It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have let it happen." She glanced narrowly at her husband. "And you shouldn't have, either. Don't think I'm forgiving you."

"Yes, dear," Endymion sighed.

"So is she in there playing 'queen' again?" Serenity inquired. Endymion glanced at a reading on one of his screens.

"No," Endymion replied, a wry smile growing on his lips. "She's playing Sailor Moon."

"Uh oh," Serenity groaned, recalling thousand year old memories of being visited by a rebellious teen in a pink and white sailor fuku.

"Face it, My Dear," Endymion said jokingly. "You were just too good at your job back then. I think you inspired her." Serenity wrinkled her nose at him.

END